Steph Tolev Is the Filth Queen + Michael Malice on the War of Words

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show: Episode Summary Episode: Steph Tolev Is the Filth Queen + Michael Malice on the War of Words
Release Date: June 26, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla welcomes two notable guests: comedian Steph Tolev and political pundit Michael Malice. The trio delves into Steph's burgeoning comedy career, Michael's transition from radio to stand-up, and various societal observations, all infused with Adam's signature humor and candidness.

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Steph Tolev’s Comedy Journey

Starting Young in Comedy Steph Tolev shares her early beginnings in comedy, starting her first set at the age of 17 in a dive bar in Toronto (02:43). Despite a memorable bombing at her debut—which led to a confrontation with an irate audience member—Steph persevered. She recounts an amusing interaction where she threatened to "kick [the angry patron]’s ass," highlighting her early resilience and commitment to comedy.

Dealing with Online Trolling Steph opens up about the challenges of online trolling, discussing hurtful comments about her appearance and the impact they’ve had on her (06:40). She emphasizes the difference between critics who attack her physically versus those who critique her comedic material, expressing frustration over unsolicited remarks about her looks.

“This is sad losers on the Internet who clearly have been wronged by women.”
— Steph Tolev 06:24

Support from the Comedy Community Contrary to her fears, Steph finds substantial support within the comedy community. Friends and fellow comedians rally behind her, celebrating her longevity and dedication to the craft.

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Michael Malice’s Transition to Stand-Up

From Radio to Comedy Michael Malice discusses his shift from a career in radio to pursuing stand-up comedy after a decade in broadcasting (27:00). Balancing his personal life, including taking time off when his daughter was sick, Michael eventually decided to fully embrace stand-up, inspired by friendships and mentorships within the industry.

Voiceover Ventures and Challenges Michael shares anecdotes about his foray into voiceover work, dealing with low pay for high-exposure gigs, and the frustrations that come with being recognized for work that doesn’t compensate him adequately.

“They’re like, no, this is just for exposure. I’m like, the exposure of what? I was like, my face, it’s my voice.”
— Michael Malice 114:18

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Steph Tolev’s Netflix Special

Production Insights Steph provides an inside look into her first-ever Netflix special, Filth Queen. Filmed at the iconic Paradise Rock Club in Boston, the special captures her energetic performance style, reminiscent of classic rock shows.

“We put the my name on the speakers instead of, like, the Marshall thing.”
— Steph Tolev 14:49

Challenges During the Special She recounts the practical challenges faced during the filming, such as managing her appearance under stage lights and dealing with sweat while maintaining her comedic flow.

“I have nice legs. That's the only thing I'm like. You talk about my nose. I want.”
— Steph Tolev 16:41

Audience Reception and Highlights Michael Malice praises Steph’s special, particularly lauding a segment about The Bachelor in Paradise, deeming it exceptionally funny.

“The whole special is great. But just that bit alone like that... it's so fun.”
— Michael Malice 21:32

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Navigating Physical Appearance in Comedy

Discussion on Trolls and Appearance The conversation shifts to how comedians handle critiques about their physical appearance. Steph shares her experiences with trolls targeting her nose, while Adam reflects on societal standards and the acceptance of physical traits in comedy.

“Everyone, the package is different. You know, short guy, fat guy, like, whatever.”
— Adam Carolla 08:15

Transcending Physical Traits Adam muses on how some celebrities transcend their physical appearances, becoming recognized for their work rather than their looks.

“You can transcend your nose, like Barbra Streisand did.”
— Adam Carolla 10:23

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Parenting and Personal Reflections

Steph’s Family Dynamics Steph discusses her relationship with her parents, especially her mother’s role as a Highland dancing teacher and the initial embarrassment her parents felt about her comedy before becoming supportive admirers.

“And now all her dancing friends are obsessed with me, and they, like, they find me so fucking funny.”
— Steph Tolev 36:27

Desire for Parenthood The conversation touches on parenting, with Steph expressing her reluctance to have children, contrasting with other perspectives presented by Adam and Michael.

“I don't want one, so I'd have to have two.”
— Steph Tolev 49:44

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Societal Observations and Critiques

Sweating and Social Tolerance Adam and Steph engage in a humorous yet pointed discussion about societal norms regarding men and women sweating, and how different racial groups are perceived based on their ability to sweat.

“In general, the person's physical appearance is a no fly zone for me because it's not really interesting...”
— Adam Carolla 07:18

Political and Social Commentary Later in the episode, Adam, Dawson, and Michael delve into topics like political behavior, media portrayal of race, and the effectiveness of process-driven versus action-oriented approaches in governance.

“In fact, Yakima, Nevada is going down right now.”
— Dawson 74:09

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Current Events and News Highlights

Migrant Detention Facility in Florida The trio discusses the construction of a migrant detention facility in the Everglades, dubbed "Alligator Alcatraz," critiquing its practicality and security measures.

“You need a fence around this facility to keep the alligators out, not to keep the inmates in.”
— Adam Carolla 118:22

Media Representation and Public Figures They touch upon the portrayal of public figures in media, including the recent development in The Simpsons and its reception among fans.

“I just go, this is what I saw in my friend's rental house in Berkeley in 89.”
— Adam Carolla 111:12

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Closing Remarks

As the episode nears its end, Adam promotes Steph’s live tour dates and Michael’s upcoming shows, encouraging listeners to support their endeavors. The conversation wraps up with light-hearted banter and reflections on the discussions held throughout the episode.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “This is sad losers on the Internet who clearly have been wronged by women.”
  — Steph Tolev 06:24

• “She can't even pump, you know? It's bizarre.”
  — Adam Carolla 47:58

• “You can transcend your nose, like Barbra Streisand did.”
  — Adam Carolla 10:23

• “I have nice legs. That's the only thing I'm like. You talk about my nose. I want.”
  — Steph Tolev 16:41

• “But for these females, you know, Hollywood, the mall, academia, every other outlets just dedicate, tell them Yas Queen and how awesome they are.”
  — Dawson 74:09

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Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and sharp social commentary. Through candid conversations, Steph Tolev and Michael Malice provide listeners with insights into the challenges and triumphs of the comedy world, all while navigating broader societal issues. Adam Carolla masterfully steers the dialogue, ensuring a balanced and entertaining listen for both regular fans and newcomers.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Well, in this episode, very funny. Comedian Steph Tollef comes in. Also, Michael Malice joins me. News with Rudy Pavich. And we'll do all that right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Betonline continues to be your number one source for all your sports betting action. Baseball's in full swing, football is right around the corner. And Betonline's got you covered with the latest odds, breaking news and live scores. Betonline even has live in game betting. While the games are being played real time from MLB to UFC to tennis to NFL futures, Betonline, that's the place to play. And between games, hit up the bet online casino packed with top Vegas style games, poker and live casino. Betonline has it all. Sign up now and score big with VIP rewards, level up bonuses and weekly cash bonuses bet online. The game starts here.

[Rudy Pavich]

From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian Steph Tollev and political pundit Michael Malice. Plus the news and trending topics with Rudy Pavic. And now saying congratulations to Zo Ron Mondame and condolences to New York City. Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. The church regular mandate. Get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks. Don't friend Stephen. Rudy in the studio. Steve. Steph, man catching fire. Seeing her everywhere. Nice. Saw you on tires. Very funny. And saw the special which is on Netflix as we speak. Filth queen. Very funny as well. And you know, it's nice in this business you hang around a little, you see people, you know, you saw them back when and now you see them when they catch some heat. It's just kind of nice. Yeah, well, look, not everyone cheers for everyone. The time in the comedy department. I think there is a thing where at some point you go from being a player to being a coach or being a player coach or something. It's not all the new draft picks you're worried about anymore.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So you. So if someone is a contemporary, it's getting heat, then you're sitting around going, how come I don't, you know. But if you did your TV shows and wrote your books and had your stuff, you don't feel that sense that. I think a lot of comedians like women contemporary, they may have much different feelings than I do. I actually do root for you.

[Steph Tolev]

No, I will say I think a lot of comics have been super supportive and like sharing it. And I think because I've been doing it for so long, like I've been 23 years that people are like, oh, she did it.

[Michael Malice]

She.

[Steph Tolev]

She didn't quit. Jesus Christ. So I think people are just like, wow. Maybe if you do actually work that hard for that long.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you can get. So you started at 17?

[Steph Tolev]

I did my first animal set. 17, really? Like dive bar in Toronto. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you know the date?

[Steph Tolev]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Good. I don't like those people.

[Steph Tolev]

That's too much. I remember. I remember only because a guy got so mad at me. I bombed, obviously. And I go, I'll kick your ass in the parking lot. And he goes, all right. And then he waited for me. And I was like, what? I was like, I'm 17. I'm like. So that was. That's the only reason I remember it. I don't remember. Like, yeah, I don't remember. I don't know. I have no idea what I said.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

I was like, remember that stuff. 10 year anniversary. I'm like, you're a loser. Get a better anniversary.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. It is sad and weird also that the human mind. I'm sitting around. Yeah, what you remember?

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And what you don't remember.

[Steph Tolev]

I remember.

[Adam Carolla]

And then why, you know, like I was walking the other day and I had a flashback to being like 9 years old on the East Valley Trojans pee wee football team. And like, we were porn on welfare and food stamps and stuff. And the other kids were okay, because if you sign up for popcorn or football, it usually means you have some semblance of a family. Doesn't mean you're rich or anything. But where I was, it was like Studio City kids and stuff, they had houses and, you know, not products of divorce and stuff. And there were the cool kids on the team with the long blonde hair. And like, I was trying to get in with them, but I was kind of embarrassed because we had a dirt lawn and, you know, piece of shit car and everything. And one of them said to me, like during practice, they go, hey, Karoly, going to the movies? And I turn around and I went like, oh, the cool kid is asking if I want. If we're going out to. I'm going to go out to the movies. And I turn around and I went, yeah, why? Okay, what movie? And he went, if you're not going to the movies, why are you picking your seat? And I was pulling my jockstrap out of my ass. And I was nine and I was like, I was just devastated. And now I'm 61. And I was walking the other day in Burbank I was like, why are you picking your seat? And I was like, oh, it still.

[Steph Tolev]

Has the same feeling.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all I remember from that time.

[Steph Tolev]

And you still feel embarrassed by that?

[Adam Carolla]

I just. I remember going, like, I was so excited that I thought I was being asked to join some of the cool people to go to the movies, and it turned real fast into me being an ass picker. And then they all started laughing and walked away.

[Michael Malice]

It's insane how that stuff stays with you for all those years. You know, I went in my sixth grade class. We all went to a movie together, you know, probably 15 of us. There was a girl I really liked, Aubrey Collins, and she sat next to me, and I tried to do that move where you give the fake stretch and the thing, and you.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow.

[Michael Malice]

With the yawn, you try to go around, and I accidentally hit her in the side of the head with my hand. And then nine seconds later, she switched seats with a girl named Serena. And that happened when I was 12. And I think about that like, once a week.

[Steph Tolev]

I'm like, once a week.

[Adam Carolla]

Not enough in my book. I think about the pick in your seat thing every goddamn day. Every day.

[Michael Malice]

Excuse me. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Steph, you must have. I mean, you have. You're 17. You got that guy, challenges you to a fight. Any other horrible negative thoughts stuck in your head?

[Steph Tolev]

I mean, I have them every day. Like, you guys clearly don't get trolled online. I literally, this morning. Can I show a photo I need to show? I don't give a. This guy's a piece of he. This guy literally said, okay, she's funny, but damn, one of the least attractive people I've seen in my life. Yikes. Seriously?

[Michael Malice]

Whoa.

[Steph Tolev]

I went on to his profile.

[Michael Malice]

Oh, I mean.

[Steph Tolev]

I mean, what are we doing here?

[Adam Carolla]

Is this. Is this profile? Fat guy eats ramen?

[Steph Tolev]

I mean, his. His. His name is Wade and Blake706. You got to come at me comp. Ugliest man I've seen in my life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's ugly, buddy.

[Steph Tolev]

Let's not be doing this.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. In general, the person's physical appearance is a no fly zone for me because it's not really interesting, and it's not things they can control normally. And, like, somebody trolled. Somebody sent me thing, and it was like this super lib chick who had, like, a triple chin and she was yelling at one of the ice things or whatever, and she's making a fool of herself. But of course, all the trolls. What looked like she swallowed Jabba the Hutt. You know, and I was like. I started to go, yeah, fuck this fat. And then I was like, that's not really the angle. The angle's her message. Yeah, everyone, the package is different. You know, short guy, fat guy, like, whatever. Like it's easier if you disagree with someone, but in general, the physicality is not comedically interesting to you.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes, sure. Because you're a normal man who's actually funny. This is sad losers on the Internet who clearly have been wronged by women.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I get it.

[Steph Tolev]

It's every morning I wake up to like the biggest one that's making me laugh now is that men hate my nose in a way that's like not normal. Like, I had a video go viral because they were like, is that a prosthetic?

[Adam Carolla]

We gotta figure.

[Steph Tolev]

As if I'm carrying around a box of noses, which is hilar. Could you imagine with a tsa with a. I'm like, this is crazy. But I'm like, they get so I was watching. I did Kreischer's like, something's burning. And I was like reading the comments. Cause I'm demented. And it was all nice. And then one guy, look at the fucking beak on that pig. I'm like, do you think I want this? Like, do you think I was like, let's break my nose when I'm a child. I don't want this. I'm like, have you seen. Has anybody watched Nose Job videos? They're terrifying. Oh, I would never saw it down.

[Adam Carolla]

You can't.

[Steph Tolev]

I'm gonna sound different. I'm like, suck my dick. Don't look at me. Then I don't know why you hate my nose more than anybody else on the planet.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I. I don't know. There are things. All right, let's put it to you this way. For me, at least if you put. I saw a bumper sticker driving home, said, you know, old school, kind of liked it. Don't like the way I Drive. Called 1-800-EAT-SHIT. You know what I mean? Now I'm riding behind that person thinking about eating shit. But then I realized I don't like that. That's the message. What if my kids in the car, you know what I mean? What if you have a. What if you're driving your 8 year old daughter to get chemo, you know, because she has leukemia and we just are stuck behind you telling us to eat shit. You know, I mean, I don't like it, but that person volitionally put it on this. His bumper.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You didn't Put that nose on your face. There are things that are just there. You know what I mean? And even. There's like. Even when guys go bald, it's like, he didn't do that. God did it to him or whomever. It's like, it just is. So I don't even know why people want to get caught up on sort of what is. I prefer the behavior to be attacked.

[Steph Tolev]

Well, that's what you assume. Like, if you don't look at my comedy. I understand that. But if you're just coming here to call my appearance, I'm like, I don't know what to tell you here. This is. Then don't look at me. Very bizarre.

[Michael Malice]

I have a bumper sticker of Steph's nose.

[Steph Tolev]

That thing again.

[Adam Carolla]

Fuck you.

[Steph Tolev]

Get off the. How would I eat shit? I'd rather eat shit than look at that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, I think at a certain point, you can transcend your nose, like Barbra Streisand did. Because at a certain point, she becomes Barbra Streisand, not this woman. Only based on her aesthetic. You know what I mean? Like, at a certain point, men do it pretty fast. You just put out, do a little comedy, write a couple books, and you just trans. You go past your aesthetic, and then at some point, it's what you look like, but it's you. Like, they know who you are. So you're not randomly. You may have an ugly nose, but it's your nose.

[Steph Tolev]

I said it was ugly. I said it was big.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry. Unattractive.

[Steph Tolev]

I said it was big.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus Christ. I'm voicing the online troll. I'm assuming that. No.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

But now it's you. That's your look.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You are you.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. And I feel like it's the same thing as. What's the girl from Dirty Dancing? She got a nose job.

[Adam Carolla]

Jennifer.

[Steph Tolev]

Jennifer Gray. And then she. She. Her career after that might compare myself to her, but I'm like, you know that this is my face. Yeah, that's good. I have a hot boyfriend. He likes it.

[Adam Carolla]

You have a hot boyfriend.

[Steph Tolev]

I do have a hot boyfriend.

[Adam Carolla]

Good.

[Steph Tolev]

Guess what? Suck it.

[Michael Malice]

Nobody puts this big nose in a corner.

[Steph Tolev]

You physically can't. That's why you physically can't. I can't fit in corners. That's the problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you're right. Jennifer Gray fix her nose.

[Steph Tolev]

And guess what?

[Adam Carolla]

Although we could be kind of superstitious natives, because there's tons and tons and tons of people who had hits in the 80s who didn't fix their Nose. And their career ended.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. Look, let me just have this, Adam. Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll give you this moment. I'll give you this moment.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

We have the Jennifer Grey thing.

[Michael Malice]

Although if they ever bring back the show Double Dare, your nose could double as the nose that everybody, like, went up into and grabbed the.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, no, I'm Canadian. Oh, God. You didn't have that show Nickelodeon, didn't you?

[Michael Malice]

Listen, I was.

[Steph Tolev]

I guess we did.

[Michael Malice]

I was close to Canada. I had cbc.

[Steph Tolev]

Where were you?

[Michael Malice]

I'm Northern Minnesota.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, but I had cbc. But we had Nickelodeon in Double Dare, there was a giant nose that you would have to climb up into filled with boogers, and then grab a flag out of it.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, wow.

[Michael Malice]

So if anything, they can model that. See, it's a winner.

[Steph Tolev]

So there we go. I gotta contact nickelodeon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So 23 years of just slogging away, and I feel like it's literally been, like, the last seven weeks. I've just seen you pop up everywhere and, like. And may feel much different to you, of course, but I just mean, like, I said to somebody, like, three weeks ago, I was like, I'm just seeing Steph everywhere. And they were like, you know what we're talking about? Oh, we were.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And he was like. We was like, yeah. What's. You know, Like, I don't know how it works. Like, the algorithm works. Is it the special? Is it you doing stuff?

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, I think it's me doing a lot of shit. It was everything. Yeah, I think it was the tires thing. And I got a really good PR team, so I've been, like, pushing the fuck out of the special because my first ever special, and it's on Netflix, so I'm like, I need people to goddamn watch it. So I've just been done. I've been on every podcast, and because you're probably following, like, Dan Soder, and I should fear, like, you're following all these people.

[Adam Carolla]

That's.

[Dawson]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Where. Where'd you shoot the special?

[Steph Tolev]

Boston, at the Paradise Rock Club, if you've ever.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Looks like a rock club.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, it was fucking. It was a really sick venue. Like, every huge band ever has played there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And it was kind of nice because, I mean, I think because, you know, you film at the Wilbur at a theater or something like that. It's raked. It plays like a theater. It looks like a theater. There could be a guy on the stage playing a cello. But your show was kind of rocky, kind of Dice Clay, kind of retro y with the dress and the vibe and the whole thing. And so a rock club would sort of fit the tenure of that, right?

[Steph Tolev]

It was a romper. It wasn't a dress. It was a jumpsuit.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, I said you dressed.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a jumpsuit.

[Adam Carolla]

Definitely not a.

[Steph Tolev]

That wasn't a dress.

[Adam Carolla]

Your dress was of rock.

[Steph Tolev]

We. Metal. Of metal that we matched it from an old Van Halen concert. Their live shows, like, their lights and the trellises. Like, I wanted it to feel like you're at. Especially for a rock club, it's got to feel like you're at a live show. And I wanted to feel very energetic. There it is. Then we put the. My name on the. The speakers instead of, like, the Marshall thing.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. So you guys had half stacks on stage.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, yeah. It looks sick.

[Rudy Pavich]

That jumper was half ghee, half tuxedo.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. It was also kind of modeled off Angus Young. It was a little Angus Youngy. Yeah, yeah. And I wanted to be like. I still wanted to wear a jumpsuit, but I also. Yeah, I have a little air slot in the back because I get real hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

My biggest thing after watching Joe, like, part of Joe Rogan special, I was like, I cannot look that wet. I will not be wet. It's not happening.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

We kept stopping and fixing my bangs. Like, I stopped, like, maybe six times during the special to wipe me down.

[Adam Carolla]

It is always amazing to me. I've talked about it before, but it was funny. Eddie Murphy went out, did a show in full leather. And not only was he wearing essentially Evel Knievels jumpsuit, but no undershirt or anything, just fucking leather. And so then every younger black comedian loves and worships that. And they show it when they're 13 and then they come out. And now Martin Lawrence has to shoot it, but he's gotta go full leather. And everyone goes full leather. And I'm like, eddie fucked up a whole generation of black comics because there could be nothing. Anyone who does comedy knows. It's like, lights, sweat, pressure, not leather. No undershirt.

[Steph Tolev]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, that just feels like the most miserable outfit you could do comedy in would be leather with no fucking Hanes underneath and leather pants and, like, leather boots. And I'm lucky because I'm just a white dude. So I just go out there in jeans and T shirts and sneakers. I don't have. It's not a thing.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that seems brutal. But yours, again, you had the kind of hot pants.

[Steph Tolev]

I did the shorts because I knew I was gonna be wet. And I was like, we Gotta. We gotta do something. And I have nice legs. That's the only thing I'm like. You talk about my nose. I want. But I have good legs. So get the legs out there, get the squat.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm with you, too. I was noticing that with Joe's standup special, like, I will go look, you give me a linen shirt that's like, salmon color, and I'll go. Go out and do an hour and 10 minutes. I'll go, no, I'll pit out. I'll pit out. You'll see black circles where my underarms are if it's hot in here. And if you give me a light blue shirt, I'll go, no, no, I'll just wear a black shirt, because then you won't. Then I was watching Joe's special. I was like, why not the black shirt? You wear it at the ufc.

[Steph Tolev]

Why did no one say anything? Yeah, I know it was a live show, but I would have been like, if I watch it back, I've been like, this is psychotic. Like, somebody had to switch it out for a second.

[Adam Carolla]

I've literally taken shirts before I went out on stage. If we were shooting or something, I'll just take a little water bottle and just dab it on the sleeve, and it kind of turns black. I'll go, just get me a navy sweater, because I'll sweat all I want in it. But you're never gonna know. I don't.

[Steph Tolev]

And people will notice. Like, I'll get off stage. I wear, like, a. I wore this green jumpsuit. I was like, I was kind of. I was doing fine, but I wasn't. Like, the jokes weren't the same way. And then I got off stage, it was so comically large and, like, salted. I was like, well, they're looking at that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. It's very distracting.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I don't know. I think society probably doesn't tolerate women sweating as much as men.

[Steph Tolev]

They don't tolerate anything a woman does ever. Every.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I like to tell black people, though they do. That is one. We do make a lot of room for them sweating. You know, like the preacher, the politician, the comedian, they can sweat more than the white man, and we don't hold it against them. We just think it's passion.

[Steph Tolev]

And they bring, like, a little cloth.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. They're allowed to dab, they're allowed to sweat. It just sorta means they're really into it. You know what I mean? But I'd say in the sweating pecking order, black males at the top, they can sweat as much as they want. No one says anything. Especially the Werner fucking leather gee doing comedy. Then number two, white guys. Number three, Asian. Because we don't. A sweaty Asian will freak us. They're not allowed. When you see one, he's lying, he's beaten up on something, he's up to no good. And then I think, okay, no, no, let me work this out. Black men get to sweat as much as they want. I think Hispanic. At the second amount of sweat equity.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, let's get their sweat.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll let them do it. Especially if they're heavy sweat, white stirred. Asian. I don't know. Asian may beat women to the bottom of the. I don't trust that. Then when a woman sweats, we think something's wrong. Well, you see an Asian sweat. I've never seen an Asian sweat, but if I did, I would think something was wrong.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, I don't think I actually have now I'm thinking about that.

[Adam Carolla]

You ever see Asian sweat?

[Michael Malice]

A little asterisk to the Hispanic guy, though. Depends on where they're working. If you're laying bricks, sweat all you. If you're in the back of a TJI Fridays, keep it in, my man.

[Adam Carolla]

I still think culturally we'll tolerate the black man the most, the Asian the least. And women don't get allowed to. Aren't allowed to sweat. Except for black women do get to sweat more than white men. I'd say at the bottom. I'd say a sweaty, fair skinned blond is at the bottom of the sweat list. We don't trust her. She's not allowed to sweat.

[Steph Tolev]

You don't see that a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't see it. But when we do, we're worried real good.

[Michael Malice]

It's like seeing a dry black man. You're like, what?

[Adam Carolla]

How dare you? Yeah, if I ever saw Chelsea Handler sweating, I would run out of the room screaming. You'd just hear my car peeling out.

[Michael Malice]

Nikki Glaser with yellowed pits.

[Steph Tolev]

I've never seen her sweat. I swear to God. No glands?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I wouldn't. But let's see. Oh, God, what's her name from snl? Who used to yell wash your ass all the time? Leslie Jones.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

If Leslie Jones wasn't sweating, I'd be upset and put off.

[Steph Tolev]

She has a cloth with her at all times.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, smart.

[Steph Tolev]

She's dabbing.

[Michael Malice]

I was gonna say all the black guys that I tour with, all of them have a towel when we leave the hotel. To the club constantly. It's like a thing. They're constantly Dabbing and making sure that there's a dry brow on stage.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Yeah. Well, anyway, culturally acceptable. But, Stephanie, one thing you don't get.

[Steph Tolev]

To do is sweat. And I'm dry. I'm very dry throughout swim.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyone make any horrible comments about you sweating? Hey, bitch. Pitting out again?

[Steph Tolev]

No, not yet. Not yet. Mostly. Wow. Jesus, the big schnoz. No, mostly nothing about the wetness. Funny, my Dewey.

[Michael Malice]

I did take a couple of notes. Cause I watched it last night and this morning, so the intro.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, sorry. Very funny. I watched it last night.

[Steph Tolev]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

It just came out, right?

[Steph Tolev]

It just came out literally yesterday.

[Michael Malice]

Yes, the cold intro is hilarious. You and Bill together so far, funny. But the other bit that I. I it. It was in my head the whole drive to Los Angeles today. The Bachelor in Paradise bit. I don't think I've laughed that hard at another comics. It's so fun. I'm telling you, the whole special is great. But just that bit alone like that. Yeah, whatever it is. That 45 seconds is worth watching that.

[Steph Tolev]

Entire talking about the. Yeah, turn the mic back off. Yeah, because I. I applied for so many reality shows. I never got any. Oh, did you that the show the Circle?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, right.

[Steph Tolev]

I was like, close to getting it and I was like, this is my big break. So I'm like, I'd be a weirdo. And then I think I'm too gross. So it was fun to make fun of.

[Rudy Pavich]

Speaking of that, I love the part where you were talking about the fart. And it starts up here, and then you want to kind of let it go and ease out. And then it's. Is there an old man in the.

[Adam Carolla]

Back of your seat?

[Steph Tolev]

Where did this come from?

[Rudy Pavich]

It's gross and hilarious.

[Michael Malice]

Thank you.

[Steph Tolev]

Thank you. I don't think I should use Earl's real name. Earl's probably watching that, going, oh, I thought we had a nice time.

[Adam Carolla]

No, Earl, when did you come out here?

[Steph Tolev]

About 10 years ago now.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the LA.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. I was doing comedy in Toronto for obviously a long time.

[Adam Carolla]

Aha. What's the family do up in Toronto?

[Steph Tolev]

My mom is still a Highland dancing teacher, examiner and judge. Yeah, she does that. And my dad's retired from doing Toronto hydro, which is like something with lights and hydro. I don't really understand what he did, to be honest.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I do love? I do love daughters. Like, once in a while, talk to a daughter, and I'll go, what's your dad doing? She'll go, he's in the. He Flew the plane, like in the navy or something. And I'll go, what did he do? He was on the boat with the flat part there. I don't know. He landed naval jets on carriers. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. You should get a little. That's. Well, that's substitute. Not your dad. Not your dad. But that's a substitute school teacher. Feel free to go, like. Ah, but if he's got something really good, like landing F18s on a jet. Jet on a carrier. Get a little more specific.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, my dad was an electrician, I guess, but like, we. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And your mom did the dancing.

[Steph Tolev]

Still does it. Still does it.

[Adam Carolla]

The Highland. Like, is that Scottish?

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm guessing Highland is also. They have the Highland Games.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Where you throw telephone poles and beer kegs and stuff like that.

[Steph Tolev]

I should have done that. I would have been better at that.

[Adam Carolla]

You did the dance.

[Steph Tolev]

I did the dancing.

[Adam Carolla]

Very bad at dancing, but you may say you're bad at dancing, but you're better than anyone in the room at that kind of dancing at any given time. Right.

[Steph Tolev]

Unless I'm with anybody who actually competitively Highland dance and they.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But the chances are.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I've done some competitions in the Highland. No, I'm saying you're always.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You're never going to be sitting in the comics corral upstairs at the Laugh Factory and have some. Somebody who can do the clogged dance better than you.

[Steph Tolev]

That's true. But I only whip it out if I'm, like, hammered at a party or.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I. It's a weird. It's kind of a weird thing, which is like, if you can play the oboe and you're decent or you just can play the oboe, you should. You should embrace that. But the problem with people who can play the oboe, they played around 30 people that were better than them. So then you go. You play the oboe. And they go, I'm no good. I suck. Fuck that. Put the oboe up my ass. Sorry. I shock. I shock. And you're like. I'm like, you can play the oboe. No one here can play. Yeah, but I was like, fifth chair and I never made it to the philharmon. And it's like, I know, but you can do. I'm saying do that with the dance.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, I do, I do. I do whip it out sometimes. It's just embarrassing. It's a lot of jumping up and down.

[Adam Carolla]

And your mom. Would you say your mom forced you to do it?

[Steph Tolev]

Yes, 100%. I would say that. There's no doubt in my mind. Yeah, I was not good. I'm built like a fucking linebacker. I'm not a dancer. Like a dancer. Stereotypically are small, svelte little feet, pointy toes. I have, like, flat fucking feet. I have nine and a half. There's not a dancer's foot. It was hard to find shoes.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you have a sister that could be coach that had more of a dance bod?

[Steph Tolev]

She also. No, she had a fat ass. So we both. She was better than I was, but we weren't great dancers. It was embarrassing. We finally. We stopped when we were like, 18. We stopped way too late. I started when I was three years old. There's literally videos of me at three competing, and then all the way up to 18.

[Adam Carolla]

It's an interesting thing. It's sort of what you want to do versus the hand you get dealt. Like, you should have been doing comedy, not clogged dancing.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And sometimes it's a parent that does it, and sometimes it's self imposed, which is even weirder.

[Steph Tolev]

If your parent forced you into dancing, that makes sense. If the parent had nothing to do with dancing, got you into it. That seems bizarre. Unless the kid really wanted to do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's things. I mean, so people turn on the tv, kids, and some people see someone playing center field for the Yankees and go one day, you know, and then some people see Evel Knievel jump a bike. And then some people see Eddie Murphy do stand up and they go, I want to. You know, and you kind of go, all right, well, that's. That's how the world works. But what if you're not funny and you're dying to do what Eddie Murphy.

[Steph Tolev]

It's a lot of comedians. I know. It's a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. As a matter of fact, Rudy, this is a little bit more of an intervention than it is a podcast. Mics aren't even. Dawson, you're not recording, are you? No. Okay, let's get into the steps. Steph's had a lot of success. Obviously. You can read my resume.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, of course.

[Adam Carolla]

You have a daughter. You're in your 40s now, Rudy. You're making the pilgrimage from Nevada out here.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, that's how far.

[Adam Carolla]

Isn't it time? Just admit. Now, listen, nobody says you can't do open mics. No one's gonna stop. Remember what we talked about? Just do.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, you said you'd support me. Please quit comedy is what I was saying.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but I said to do it in a more.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, a nicer way.

[Adam Carolla]

Supportive way.

[Steph Tolev]

I think. I think we've discussed that. It would be better for the community this time. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Remember this?

[Michael Malice]

Can I still keep reading the news?

[Adam Carolla]

Let me say something, Rudy. No, I'll tell you what caught my interest in between hearing you tried to do comedy in the green room the other day waiting backstage. You used to work at the Lovesack.

[Michael Malice]

I was, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That company's really on the move these days. I see their commercials all the time.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Surely they'd be happy to have back a salesman with your experience and you know what? You're a people person. Ask anyone.

[Michael Malice]

Well, thanks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So I actually made a call to the Burbank lovesac and you know, I didn't throw my celebrity around. Cause that's does you know, when you're funny, you turn into a celebrity. But I talked to them about a position. Oh, part time, obviously.

[Michael Malice]

Did they need me to come do like a corporate gig? Like a standup thing at the corporate.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no.

[Michael Malice]

I don't work an actual job selling again for not on the street.

[Adam Carolla]

Spinning the sign around. I talked him out of that shit. I said, no, no, no, not Rudy. Rudy used to work at the Lovesac up in Minneapolis.

[Michael Malice]

Mall of America.

[Adam Carolla]

Mall of America, right. Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what? And when I said, you know, Rudy, Mall of America loves sack salesman of the year. And the guy gave a knowing grunt, he went like, okay. Yeah. And I think he knew where I was going with this.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, it was Jim. Did he say super funny guy?

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't ca his name part time. It's just. We don't need to go there now, but we do need to go today.

[Michael Malice]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Because the guy said, what's going to be there tomorrow?

[Michael Malice]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. So anyway, this is nice.

[Steph Tolev]

He's nice friend.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, I'm. What's an intervention? If I had an intervention for Charlie Sheen, would it be because I didn't love him? Well, it'd be because I love him.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

You see what I'm saying? You hold the intervention. Friends and family.

[Steph Tolev]

When did you start?

[Adam Carolla]

Flew your mom out from Minneapolis. Come on, send her in. What's your name?

[Michael Malice]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Dawson. Send Rudy's stepmom in. She's got a cake and a presentation. She's a little nervous. I told her, just write it. Write it on her phone.

[Steph Tolev]

I wish we you'd do this to more comedians. Can I bring in people that do comedy for as long as me that.

[Adam Carolla]

Are not funny girl that really wants you on his podcast? And they'd be like, what? I'm not even getting any traction. He heard you on some sort of underground cave. He's a huge, huge fan.

[Steph Tolev]

Trust me, you gotta do it. Yeah, big fan.

[Michael Malice]

Well, Steph, since I got you here, I got this new bit about lovesack I've been working out. Is this. Is this anything?

[Steph Tolev]

Okay. Can I ask you a question?

[Michael Malice]

Yes.

[Steph Tolev]

When you got into comedy?

[Michael Malice]

When I got into it, yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

When you got in, were people telling you you were funny or did you just want to do it?

[Michael Malice]

No. I won the fifth grade talent show doing standup comedy, so I'd always wanted to do it, but I'm from a small town, Northern Minnesota, next to Canada. There's no outlet for it. So I got into radio. And then after I kind of hit my dream job in radio, I then doing standup, did it for six months. Daughter got sick, decided I'm gonna take six months off. That turned into 10 years. Kept going with radio, did that until I was like 38, and then just decided to quit, become a stand up, met ace man and started going on.

[Adam Carolla]

The road with him. So no one ever told him he was funny? That's part of what we talked about over the phone before the intervention. It's not really been documented that anyone really ever said you're funny.

[Michael Malice]

I mean, you.

[Adam Carolla]

You can play the kazoo in the fifth grade talent show. Doesn't mean you're an artist.

[Michael Malice]

I did suck Louie Anderson's dick one night. And he may have said something like that out loud, but I wasn't pleased.

[Steph Tolev]

You were focused.

[Adam Carolla]

We spoke to Louis sister Bernadette, who's still alive.

[Michael Malice]

Is she here too?

[Adam Carolla]

With my mom.

[Michael Malice]

They fly in the same flight.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't. Did Bernadette pull in yet? Cause we had her coming in after the stepmom. But anyway, she said you never suck Louis Anderson's dick. Although, what would a sister say?

[Steph Tolev]

Maybe Louis didn't tell her.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, played it close to the heart monitor.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Anyway, okay, we got your badge made up for the Love Sack.

[Michael Malice]

Great.

[Adam Carolla]

And they just call it Love Sack, by the way. Not the Love Sack. Don't make that mistake.

[Michael Malice]

No, no, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right, sales, obviously, it's LA, minimum wage, 1875 an hour, and that's the start.

[Michael Malice]

Oh, my. So, wait, is that what it is? I'm getting a bump in pay from comedy?

[Adam Carolla]

That's amazing. That's. That's kind of what we're here to talk about. Yeah, it's just not fair to your daughter anymore. Yeah. Speaking of your daughter, she's here and.

[Steph Tolev]

She lied about her Sickness. You were so unfunny. She's like, I'm sick, Daddy. Please stop doing comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

She told me she was sick of you being unfunny. That's all part of her presentation, so I don't want to step on it.

[Michael Malice]

So it was like all the doctor's appointments. That was like the Truman Show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Nothing was real. Yeah, everybody was on it.

[Adam Carolla]

Nothing's real. Jesus. That's right. All right, and scene. As I like to say, Cocaine Air. All right, picture this. Miami in the mid-80s, right? And you've got this guy, TJ Dominguez. By day, he's running the world's biggest Lamborghini dealership. But at night, the dude's basically moving mountains of cocaine for Pablo Frickin Escobar. I'm talking almost 100 million a month, adjusted for inflation, of course. And his family is totally clueless. He's got planes, boats, mansions all over Miami. And get this, a pet mountain lion named Top Cat. Because why not? Now, for the first time, TJ's telling his story on a brand new podcast called Cocaine Air. If Scarface and Narcos had a baby, well, this would be it. So check it out. Just search for Cocaine Air wherever you get your podcasts. It's Cocaine Air. Enjoy. Right, Dawson?

[Rudy Pavich]

T.J. never set out to be a cocaine smuggler. But when his dad suddenly died of cancer, a couple of con artist bankers swooped in and scammed him out of all his money. And those tragic events sent him down a really dark path of revenge and vindication. And even when the feds busted him in 1988 and put him in prison, he actually bought a helicopter from behind bars, hired a pilot, and hatched the most audacious prison break in the history of prison breaks. Listen to Cocaine Air wherever you get your podcasts.

[Unknown]

This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of Cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger, and Transformers. Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto tv Stream now. Pay never.

[Michael Malice]

What is dedication?

[Adam Carolla]

The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariana. We call him Day Date for short. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge. And there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to.

[Dawson]

Sit back one day and go, we work together.

[Adam Carolla]

We did A good job. That's dedication. Find out [e-mail] brought to you by.

[Michael Malice]

The U.S. department of Health and Human.

[Adam Carolla]

Services and the Ad Council. So, yeah, you. So now you got a mom who wants you to be lord of the dance.

[Steph Tolev]

She wanted me to take over the dancing school and teach.

[Adam Carolla]

Is that kind of the river dance? Is that. Is that the same phylum kind?

[Steph Tolev]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so she wants you to do that and take over the dancing school. So I'll tell you something. I know about women. When they want something, they'll tell you anything to get you to not do the other thing. You know, like, they'll kind of go, nah, that's no good. Yeah, we're not gonna. Like. I know some men who do that, and some women will do that when they'll kind of decide on something. They'll try to talk you out of the other thing if they want you to do something. Did your mom ever try to talk you out of comedy?

[Steph Tolev]

No, she just. When I first started, she didn't really understand it and find it funny. And then when she saw how gross I was, I think she was embarrassed that her dancing friends were gonna see me. That's your daughter? Cause my mom's kind of a big deal in the highland dancing community. Like, most people know who she is.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no.

[Steph Tolev]

And I think they were, like, embarrassed. And then I had the reverse effect, because now all her dancing friends are obsessed with me, and they, like. They find me so fucking funny, and they, like, they're so support. And they come to all my shows and stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, Rudy, Steph's mom is here as well, and I just had her watch a YouTube 15 minutes ago on YouTube. So she's prepared something?

[Steph Tolev]

Yes, she's ready for it, man.

[Michael Malice]

They got her off the oxygen tank long enough.

[Adam Carolla]

We're gonna hear her coming in those vlogs. Cause you'll hear her coming out.

[Steph Tolev]

You'll hear her.

[Adam Carolla]

So, yeah, so at the beginning, especially with. And when you first start your brand of comedy, that had to be.

[Steph Tolev]

And I brought them to shows where I was, like, eating. I'm like, come watch me do three minutes where I got no laughs. They're like, what the. Is this is what you want to do with your life?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's interesting. Now, why, Rudy, I see. I would never dream of asking either one of my parents to come to a show or anything, because I'd be like, I don't know. What. What's in it for me? Like, this could only go wrong. I don't Know if it's never gonna turn out.

[Steph Tolev]

I don't know why they came. I think it was like a bringer show. Maybe wanted to fill up the crowd and make you get laughs because like a show of like 40 people all doing three minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

Did your mom and or your dad try to keep a little, you know, stiff upper lip, poker face thing? Some of the stuff was okay in there like that.

[Steph Tolev]

They did that for a bit. And then now I think once my dad's big turning point was when I opened for Bill at the Scotiabank arena in Toronto. It's like a big. It's like a huge arena. They went out, my dad came to that and I think watching him watch me on there, I think he was seeing the people react. He's like, okay, this now. And now after Bill thought I was funny, he.

[Adam Carolla]

He's like, oh, okay, okay.

[Steph Tolev]

Maybe it's not just that. You gross pig.

[Michael Malice]

Is your dad retired? He still work?

[Steph Tolev]

He's still. He around, but he's retired.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. Because usually it's the guys at work that come up and they're like, you know, I saw your daughter on the thing. That's so funny. That's where they kind of get their encouragement to want to support you because they're kind of the star at work.

[Steph Tolev]

Can I read this? So my dad got an email today from a guy at our cottage. So my, my parents have a cottage in like, like, like up by. It's like an hour past Peterborough. If you know anything about whatever my dad, this is how old this man is. He lives on the lake. He's like a lake man. I don't know. He lives there all year round. Old Canadian emails. My dad today. Subject Steph's performance on Netflix.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow. He.

[Steph Tolev]

So this guy's been sitting alone in his cabin.

[Adam Carolla]

How old would you estimate this man?

[Steph Tolev]

I'm telling you, is probably 70 years old.

[Adam Carolla]

70 years old.

[Steph Tolev]

Alone watching. Lives alone in a cabin on the lake.

[Adam Carolla]

May have rubbed one out watching the Netflix.

[Steph Tolev]

If he could get it up.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Steph Tolev]

He wrote, congratulations, dad. Your daughter's unique approach to physical and mental comedy is both brilliant and hilarious.

[Michael Malice]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Steph Tolev]

Inspiring audience members to demonstrate sexual positioning without restraint underscores how incredibly close Steph connects with her audience. She is a modern day breakthrough. Lenny Bruce in delivering her unique style of comedy.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Steph Tolev]

Isn't that so nice? How sweet is that?

[Michael Malice]

That's great.

[Steph Tolev]

I didn't think he opened it being like, oh, this is gonna be bad.

[Adam Carolla]

Rudy, ever receive a letter of that nature from a family Member written by an old man in a cabin.

[Michael Malice]

I did one time get an email. My mom got an email about my ability to be able to sell sactionals at Lovesack.

[Adam Carolla]

Sactionals.

[Steph Tolev]

God is about to love Saxon Love Sing.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You know it'll convert into a ball pit. I've seen the commercials. They do a surround sound subwoofer system. I mean, the bass sectional is nice, but you can go up from there.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, listen, it's a two year warranty on all the soft stuff, but lifetime on the hard stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

So work the stain guard fabricant if you will as well. That's a big selling point.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, you don't want to come on too strong, though. You upsell at the register, not on the floor.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I ask this? I see the commercial. There's a dude, dude drinking a glass of wine, his wife like, and then he knocks it over. Can we do just one commercial where a woman spills something and the guy just stands there and goes, what the fuck? Just one. Just one. There's always has to be just a backhand and fucking points at the mop. You know what I mean? It's always the guy making breakfast for the kids knocking. If you watch tv, you would think women are just Chinese acrobats. Like, have never knocked over a glass, never spilled a thing.

[Steph Tolev]

But they also, they make it look like every woman in commercial is a moron.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So everybody, every man's a moron. The women tolerate them or they're annoying.

[Steph Tolev]

Every woman in commercial is like, I thought I told you the trash. Yo, Charles. Like, they're so irritating. I'm like, no one talks like that. My boyfriend might take the garbage out. Idiot. Or I take it on my damn self.

[Adam Carolla]

Half the spillage, I realize is because in commercials, people don't know how to sit. Like they're holding a full glass of wine and the guy goes, I'll just sit. I will set the wine down and then I will sit or I will sit in such a fashion, I don't just throw it over my head as I plop down onto the love sack.

[Michael Malice]

Dirty ass dog comes in from outside.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael Malice]

Do you live in a mudslide? Like, what dog? Why would you let that dog outside during the mudslide?

[Steph Tolev]

That makes no sense.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what's gone from commercials, which was huge, and we can find it. Andrew. I've done it before. It's kind of interesting. Detergent commercials when I was a kid was all about grass stains. The kids with the knees, your new jeans, the grass stains and it was like kids just rolling down a hill. And it was grass stains. It was all about grass stains. No more grass stains because kids don't fucking go outside. And number two, it's all synthetic turf. If they do go outside, there is no. Like people make detergent, go fuck grass stains. We don't have to deal with that. That was the number one. We actually move from grass stains to wine stains, which is culturally bad because we've given up the rough and tumble play and we're just drinking and now.

[Steph Tolev]

But mostly I feel like every commercial like that is just about the smell of it. It's just like women organizing.

[Adam Carolla]

No, they're just smelling. Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Every commercial is them sniffing it. Like there's no. Where's the clean cleaning. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of sniffing going on.

[Steph Tolev]

So much sniffs.

[Adam Carolla]

I think women, and even women with petite noses have a much keener sense now. Obviously you can smell what's going on.

[Steph Tolev]

I gotta make sure I use a good smelling detergent.

[Adam Carolla]

But it is. But I think it's anyone who's had a girlfriend or wife or whatever does know the, you know, that you've been drinking or it's like, did you go smoke cigarette out on the patio? I'm like, no, no. I mean they'll be able to come into the room. I think there's a reason for that. The mom has to come in and bust the fucking kids. The dad's like not into busting. You know, the moms are like fucking toucan Sam. They just come in there. Like, anyone's smoking marijuana in this. You know, you could be next to someone outside who smoked a joint and it's in your fucking sweat jacket. Now they got it.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, maybe they'll more tighten to it. Maybe we smell.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think they're keener. I think, I think men are probably more. Well, we are, we're more visual. So it's so it's like parallel parking. Like I can estimate the space you're gonna make it in, how much room is. Whatever. It's like a visual thing. But women, it's a. I'm sorry, you're a fucking inspector detector with that nose. They're on it, right?

[Steph Tolev]

Big snake. I walk in the house. Second walk in the. I'm like, shit. You just shit. Recently. What the fuck? I'm like, well, light a fucking candle, right?

[Adam Carolla]

There's the shit, there's the guys, there's the cheater smoker guys who just go out and patio and take a few puffs and rinse their mouth. Out, hit himself a little aftershave and come back in. Women. A bus drinking bust. There's all the bust. If somebody, I don't know, what's the number? So I came up with an invention. My invention was a vape that you could smoke on an airplane. They'd have to go into the bathroom, but you could still vape all you want because they don't let you vape. But you could vape with this. But you can't vape if it's flavored like cotton candy or something like that. But an ass scented vape, you could go into any airport, any bathroom, any airplane you want, Just shut the door, sit down, vape out. Just vape out. And then just walk out and kind of go, yeah, give it a minute. No one would ever accuse you. You never get busted. Now the science is I gotta get it to not taste like ass. Yeah, it only smells like ass. But the whole thing about ass, if you really think about it, if it's either your ass or synthetic ass, you're fine. Like if I walked in a room and went, oh, my God, who fucking destroyed this room? And then Rudy went, it's fake fart, it's sulfur. I'd go, oh, okay, okay. What do you want to eat? Like psychological.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

So you could be in with your ass scented vape, knowing it's you. You wouldn't freak out. The next person who came in would, but they wouldn't know it was a vape.

[Steph Tolev]

You could also on the airplanes, just vape then with that in your seat.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but that's. It's tougher because you can hide it. It's hard to hide, I think. See, women could vape because they could pretend like they were breastfeeding.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And they could just do that thing where they put the towel over their head.

[Michael Malice]

Dutch oven.

[Steph Tolev]

You need a baby there. You can't just do that. That's psychotic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you'd have.

[Steph Tolev]

You have to have a baby.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you'd have to hire a baby.

[Steph Tolev]

And if you're blowing ass smell on your baby. This is crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, I'm not saying these are fully fleshed out. I'm saying these are works and problem workshop in these ideas, you know? All right, you'd have to have a baby. That's a good point. I didn't think about the breastfeeding.

[Steph Tolev]

Pumping, okay, Pumping, okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Pumping.

[Steph Tolev]

So you can bring on the big pump, show everybody like, sorry, my tits are killing me, and then do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You don't have to get on the intercom But I mean, you could, you know, it's a seat partner issue. You know, you're doing the thing out. You know, I got a newborn. My tits are going to be hungry when I land. You know, I'm gonna be landing.

[Steph Tolev]

Odd that she would be with a newborn. She's still breastfeeding, usually, but we're still with the kids.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, then they may judge a little bit. But hey, business is business, you know what I mean?

[Michael Malice]

The baby smells like. I'm sorry.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So no baby pumping?

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, just pumping. My breast milk smells like ass.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's get on the same page, okay? We're touching down in Denver in 90 minutes. I want to vape or you want to vape? So get the pump out, announce you have a newborn, you got a pump, then you go. Because I'm so discreet, I'm gonna put this beach towel over my head. And then you vape away. And then ass vape. And then when you're done, you complain about the shitty food in first class and how your fucking stomach's doing cartwheels.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

And you get to vape. It's just a little bit of work.

[Steph Tolev]

It seems more work than anything else.

[Adam Carolla]

Here travels electronic breast pump.

[Steph Tolev]

But that's not lot.

[Rudy Pavich]

You have to come up with an explanation of why this breast pump is all of a sudden smoking and completely.

[Steph Tolev]

Empty after you're done. There's zero milk in it after. Well, first milk in the flame here.

[Adam Carolla]

I dare any she partner to question you where the milk is. I want to. That's a bold. Yeah, that is a bold person right there to fucking get on their high horse and go, baby, why aren't you lactating sufficiently for me? I don't think a guy. There's no guy. That's a fucking hate crime.

[Steph Tolev]

No, that'd be crazy.

[Michael Malice]

But if you have black comedian next to you sweating, sweating, but then he also has the towel that you can use and probably gonna be passed out drunk the entire flight.

[Adam Carolla]

You're good. Better yet, better yet, they have those lactation stations at the airport. Go in there and vape away.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, yeah, because I don't think people are really using those, are they? No, I've never seen anyone go in or out.

[Adam Carolla]

That's it. My theory. More guys have beat off in there than women have actually pumped.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

I think so.

[Steph Tolev]

Because there's no way. They're like, I wouldn't feel a sanitary. I'd rather do it. You feel. It's bizarre. Like in a cell.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What about you kids? No, no, I don't want them.

[Steph Tolev]

It's too late. I'm 40.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but you know, there's.

[Steph Tolev]

I didn't freeze it yet back in the. I should have frozen, I think a couple years ago. And my boyfriend's been shooting loads in there for a while and nothing's happen, so maybe I can't.

[Michael Malice]

It's probably his fault.

[Steph Tolev]

It's somebody's fault. We certainly don't know whose it is, but at this point, I don't know if I want one. I like my life dog.

[Adam Carolla]

No offense.

[Steph Tolev]

I know you guys have kids, but I'm like, I just, you know, my sister has a kid. My. We love her. I could be the fun aunt.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Is it, Is it any kind of a reflection on your own childhood?

[Steph Tolev]

No, I. And I also, like, I love my sister. She's my best friend. So I always think I'm like, that would be fun if I had. If I could do this. And like, I have a kid, you know, But I'm like, if they're friends, I. It's past it now.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you have.

[Steph Tolev]

And I don't want one, so I'd have to have two.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you want two?

[Steph Tolev]

I can't. One's weird. Only children make me uncomfortable.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, well, my daughter's looking for a funny parent, so if you want to adopt, feel free.

[Steph Tolev]

She desperately needs one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I mean, paying for college on a lovesack salesman's salary is gonna be tough. You gotta get. Get a special on Netflix for that. Well, for women, there's more of an imperative biologically, or at least some women, which is kind of interesting. I'm trying to think. Do you think if you're a woman who has more masculine traits, like, you think I know women. Megyn Kelly's a beautiful woman who thinks like a dude. She's just got a dude brain. And then I know plenty of men who have chick brains. Like, they just. Gavin Newsom is like a chick. And Megyn Kelly thinks like a dude, you know, and maybe the more dude you think, the less you feel like you need kids or want kids. Because I feel like women have more of a biological mandate for that. But then there's some women that are just like, don't, don't care.

[Steph Tolev]

I think it's mine is basically for my career. I think if I wasn't being a touring stand up comic, I'd probably live in Canada and I'd have kids. But I'm like, how my life is now. I'm out every fucking night. I'm drinking and partying. I'M having a blast. I'm like, when would I be with my kid?

[Adam Carolla]

What do you think you may have done if you weren't doing comedy?

[Steph Tolev]

I'd be working at Loves.

[Michael Malice]

Open it if you want.

[Steph Tolev]

No, I think I would. I would probably do radio. I'd probably be in Toronto doing radio because I, you know, I have a face or radio, whatever the fuck term is. But yeah, yeah, I don't think I'd be doing. I don't know. I think about that sometimes, remember?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll give you the blowhardiest answer I've ever heard to that question, but I only heard it once. Dane Cook used to be a blowhard. Like a major blowhard way back. I don't know. I met him doing Crank Anchors a million years ago and I was like.

[Steph Tolev]

Ugh, oh my God, I forgot about the show.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking blowhard. And I didn't even know who he was. I mean, this is like 20, I don't know, what was the first season of Crank Anchors? I mean, it must have been like 21 years ago. And I was like, ugh, this guy's a blowhard. And I mean, he was, but then he wasn't. Now he's nice, you know, I don't know. There's a lot of guys. Guys, comedy. Jay Moore's that way. Talking about Rob Schneider. Guys that were douchey when they were like 20 something year old dudes and now they, they're mellow. You know, guys get, guys get nicer, women get crazier. That's kind of the way maybe they.

[Steph Tolev]

Get nicer because they date children and it calms them down.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's like their prostate blows up.

[Steph Tolev]

You marry a 17 year old, maybe you calm down a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

17 when I met her. We don't. She didn't start. Shoot. We didn't get married until she was 18.

[Steph Tolev]

In the corridor, they just held hands for a year.

[Adam Carolla]

Remember Elvis? We just talked for three years.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

With the door closed.

[Steph Tolev]

She was my cousin, she was fine.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, yeah, we talked and then we waited till she was 18 before we got married. So no, your prostate gets a lot. You stop making testosterone, you stop producing so much testosterone and then you sort of just mellow out. Okay, that's what happens. But I think I said to Dane Cook, I think I said it to him. Cause we're doing crank anchors. What year did crank anchors start? 02. Wow. Oh, wow. Geez, it's been a long time. Well, we did it, then it went away, Then we started again, then it went away. Or whatever. But I was talking to Dane Cook and I said, what would you be doing if you weren't doing stand up? And he said, I don't know, but I'd be the funniest motherfucker to company picnic. And I thought, well, thanks for not answering the question and being a douche and fucking being a self aggrandizing douche at the same time. It's like, I'm not gonna, you know, if someone said to me, what would you do? I'd go, I'd be swinging hair, I'd be building. I used to build. I could like, maybe I'd be, I'd be a foreman on a job somewhere. Cause I like building or something like that. But I wouldn't go, I'd be at any job. And I won't tell you, but I'd still be the funniest person at that place. But that was the old Dane Cook. And now he's nice.

[Steph Tolev]

And now he's nice, man.

[Michael Malice]

I saw him blow up on somebody. I hate to shit on your point here, Ace, but I did see him blow up on somebody like two and a half years ago at a show, which at the time was very weird. Cause you're watching a guy you've known basically since you were 18 just lose his shit on somebody and then you're like, what happened? And then they explained it that he had had something happen with his meet and greets. Like, hey, can we make sure that when people have stuff to sign, just lay it out beforehand, we can get it all signed. Because what happens is they come in, then they want to talk, then I got to sign, then it takes an extra 90 minutes for us to do a meet and greet and we can get this knocked out in an hour. And they did it like the seventh or eighth time. And then finally he just took his team into the back of this theater and was like, what the fuck is.

[Steph Tolev]

The matter with you fuckers?

[Michael Malice]

I fucking told you guys a thousand.

[Adam Carolla]

Times, get the shit.

[Michael Malice]

I don't fucking sign it. And I was like, oh my God, that's incredible. And then you find out, you go, oh, you know what? Then fuck those other people. If he's told you nine times to get your shit together and you still haven't, then you know what? I'm on Dane's court this time.

[Adam Carolla]

People don't really realize that behind the scenes you tell people, don't do this or I don't want to have to deal with that. I've done it a million times. And then it happens. And you fucking. There's plenty of footage of me screaming camera into a camera. Because stupid stuff, stupid stuff. Like when I used to do Loveline on mtv. I've told before it's been a while, but it drove me fucking nuts. It drives me nuts. So let's just say the person's name was Suzanne. And that would be the caller who's coming up. And I would sit there, and I'd just be looking in the camera, and they'd hold the sign up like, Suzanne 21, you know, and I'd go, Suzanne 21, where are you calling from? What's your problem? Which is fine. They wouldn't put it on the screen or anything. They just hold, you know? But people would spell their name weirdly, right? And everyone in America's got their own fucking take on their own stupid name, you know? And we all know, ass wipes, that they spell whatever their name is, Bill. But they spell it with one L or something. Yeah, like they spell everything weird. So the person would be named Bill or Suzanne or Connie or Sarah, but they'd spell it in their own fucking retarded way. And then they'd hold the sign up, and the sign wouldn't be seen on camera. I'd be the only person to see the sign, but they'd be fucking fucked up spelling a Sarah. And so then I'd sit there and I'd go, is Saria Sarah? Is Sura online, too? Sura is it? And then they'd come up and they'd go, it's Sarah. And then we talk. And I'd go, I sound like an idiot. I sound like I can't pronounce the words. Like, I don't know the word Sarah. And then they would go, that's the way she spells it. And I'd go, no one sees it. No one sees.

[Steph Tolev]

No one sees it.

[Adam Carolla]

If she says her fucking name is Sarah, just fucking spell it. Like Sara Lee or whatever out of a book. Just fucking write it that way. Because nobody do. The next show is Tamath. Timothy. Timothy. Timothy. Tamathi is Thomas. It's Timothy. After the show, I'd go, don't fucking do. Just write it that. But that's the way they spell I. I don't care the way they spell it. Put it on the. You get. That's what happens. That's. Then you start the third time it happens. You just sample, go, this. What the. And then you sound like a man. You sound like an ass.

[Steph Tolev]

Well, you're seeing everything out of context, too. I don't. The Clip about Theo Vaughn, like, palming some guy in the face. Have you seen this?

[Michael Malice]

Yes.

[Steph Tolev]

Well, I saw that guy's video. Be the guy explaining it, being like, I didn't do anything. I was just being a nice guy. There's no way Theo Vaughn palmed your face for no fucking reason. Something had happened. No one just does that. That something had happened before that maybe you didn't do it, but, like, maybe he was getting harassed all fucking night and, like, snapped.

[Adam Carolla]

When did this happen?

[Michael Malice]

It's a few weeks ago, right? I think what happened was they showed this clip of, like, Theo, like, pushing the guy away in the face or something. And come to find out this guy was like, it was just my birthday, and I was just trying to have a good. I'm just a normal, everyday, regular guy.

[Steph Tolev]

I was performing here. He didn't see me perform. It was this whole sob story. We're like, okay.

[Michael Malice]

And then come to find out he's like a wannabe YouTuber Tik Tocker, who's trying to get people to watch him.

[Steph Tolev]

And he just kept.

[Michael Malice]

He kept on and on and on with Theo. And Theo finally had enough and just went, get the out of here, dude. And then that's the part, you see, where it makes it look like the guy is just like, hey, Theo, I'm a big fan.

[Steph Tolev]

Like, get that. We don't know what you're. He's saying, yeah, your. Your back is turned to us. And also, someone's filming it, conveniently, the whole thing. And we don't see anything. That's. There's no exchange there. That's why there's always that.

[Adam Carolla]

I haven't seen it. I want to see it. I'll tell you, it was funny, the merch thing. Here's exactly how it works. You've been on my merch table. I got a bunch of DVDs, because I made a bunch of docs, and I got boxes of them in the back. So I just throw the DVDs in case sell DVDs, and they all come in that shrink wrap, cellophane. And anyone who buys one goes, could you sign it? And then. Then it takes 10 minutes to get it out of the shrink wrap. Cellophane. Because I don't have a box cutter. People are looking for their keys. You're using your fingernail. Then the line is. And you're going, can I get the. So, like, I'll say Mike August, say to my guy, I'll go, listen, just take, like 10 of these and take the fucking cellophane off and put them on the table. So if someone buys one, I'll just sign it for him and hand it to Goes. It always takes too long to get to whatever. And they go. He'll go like, yeah, okay, but, boss, smash cut to after the show. I'll take that. It's got the cellophane on, and you're, like, looking at the guy and he's not paying any attention. Like, what the. Like, why. Why do we. Why do we have these conversations if you're not going to listen?

[Steph Tolev]

It's simple listening. No one's paying attention. They have their own TV going on in their head.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we have the Theo von Vid that somehow I missed. I guess it's after show kind of thing. Meet and Greedy.

[Steph Tolev]

No, it's at some bars. Bar in Nashville.

[Adam Carolla]

Random.

[Steph Tolev]

Theo wasn't even at the show. Yeah, hi, it's me.

[Adam Carolla]

That's me. It's my birthday.

[Michael Malice]

Guys hold and laughing while it's happening.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, just get away. And also, let me tell you something. We go nuts. Like, putting hands on people, pushing someone away from you is not assault. Fault. Even. What. Even what P. Diddy did to that chick in the hall. That's like a Tuesday for me in high school. That's like nothing. That would have been nothing.

[Steph Tolev]

See that one?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you got. You haven't seen. You didn't see P. Diddy in the hallway?

[Steph Tolev]

No, I try to avoid piss, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Stop.

[Unknown]

Theo.

[Steph Tolev]

That I. That I saw. I don't know. I try to avoid the Diddy thing. Grosses me out.

[Adam Carolla]

It does. Rudy's a huge fan. Well, ever since he bought that love sack.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah. He's got steaks and loves that.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. I send him the reels. He sees them.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

The P. Diddy thing is awesome, man.

[Steph Tolev]

I gotta watch, I guess. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it's going down.

[Steph Tolev]

I know. I'm seeing. I saw some.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's rank. I was trying to rank yesterday. I was on the phone with the guy, wouldn't take the cellophane off the DVDs. I said, look, Weinstein, he's the leader in the clubhouse. Oh, no, no, sorry. Epstein.

[Michael Malice]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Epstein's the worst, right? Yeah, but who's second? Is it Weinstein or P. Diddy? Ooh.

[Michael Malice]

You know, I would say right now, Weinstein, only because we know so much of what has gone on behind the scenes, where, like, the whole story of P. Diddy hasn't come out yet. I mean, we know most of it, but it hasn't, like, been. It hasn't solidified yet. So maybe after we get like, we get the verdict, we see everything that happened, maybe some more stories come out. But Weinstein, I feel like, is number two for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Weinstein did a lot of rape. Sort of. Sort of trade out rape, like, you want to work in this town, let me have sex. But he didn't have a lot of the other weirdness around it, the guns and the male prostitutes and, you know, there's a lot of other moving parts with P. Diddy. I mean, what. What Weinstein did is what everyone in this town did. Did up until 10 minutes ago. That's. That's basically the casting couch. That's essentially what half the guys in this town did in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. So you didn't break any new ground. But P did he, you know, with the oil and.

[Steph Tolev]

They're young. They're probably. They were so young. Yeah. It wasn't Leah, like 14. He's number two then. Yeah, because it's. It's the second you get underage, I'm like, we're done here. That's it. It's bad. It's gross. It's over.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so we got Epstein then.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, P Did. He broke Bieber.

[Adam Carolla]

He broke Bieber.

[Michael Malice]

That's. Yeah. So that. In my mind, you're right.

[Adam Carolla]

He said beaver, by the way. All right, so. Because, yeah, beaver seems broken. All right, so in the hotel hallway, we got Epstein. Up top. I'm going to go P.E. all right, I'll get the message you want.

[Steph Tolev]

Get him on the pod step.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's give you a big fat plug on a very well deserved, funny Netflix special. Thank you, Queen. Available on Netflix. It's very funny. It's a good watch. It moves, it's energetic. That's whatever the guy in the cabin said.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, it's exactly what that man said.

[Adam Carolla]

You know your dad really wrote that, right? Just said Mr. Phillips.

[Steph Tolev]

No, there's no way. My dad is like. He'd be like, funny stuff Labia.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he got some. He got chatgpt. He got someone else. Right. That's my special name.

[Michael Malice]

Funny Stuff label.

[Adam Carolla]

Steph's dad is here as well, and he brought the cabin guy. I showed him some of your YouTube stuff. He did not react as positively as he did with Steph. So I'm just going to kind of set the table for you. All right, Steph, Great. See you, my friend. Live dates coming up all over the place as well. Where do we go to find your live dates?

[Steph Tolev]

Just go to my Instagram at Steph. Tolev. And then I got a link in my bio Punchup live. Steph Tola. I'm touring. Big tour September Arm Keeping them hard is what I'm calling it.

[Adam Carolla]

Come back soon, please and tell us all that you're up to.

[Steph Tolev]

I will.

[Adam Carolla]

Michael Malice is going to join us next. We'll do that right after this. All right, let's talk about drinking without the next day regret. That's right. You heard me right. You want a buzz, not a hangover. Meat Breeze, spelled B R E Z pronounced Breeze. This isn't your average seltzer. We're talking about hemp derived THC, CBD, functional mushrooms, nootropics, adaptogens, all in one can. You'll feel it in 10 minutes. Lasts about an hour and a half like a cocktail. But you can keep your dignity and you don't get that hangover. They've got everything from the OG micro from the gentle lift, Italian lemon elderflower, just enough to take the edge off to the drift. Blueberry Lotus for winding down, tuning out and actually sleeping. Sparkling, lightly sweetened with agave. All organic, vegan, non gmo. No weird stuff, no hangovers, no regrets. Just brighter colors, louder laughs, tastier snacks. This stuff's good. I've tried it. And especially if you just are in the mood to be in a better mood then I'd try Breeze. Am I right, Dawson?

[Rudy Pavich]

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[Unknown]

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[Rudy Pavich]

It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey Ace, man, gotta get it on. I think I found an exception to the rule. And I want to hear your opinion on this about guys who cross your legs and show off their socks. I googled it.

[Rudy Pavich]

Guy who did that a ton back.

[Adam Carolla]

In the day and I wouldn't think.

[Rudy Pavich]

You'D call him a liberal Ronald Reagan. All right, get it on you can leave us a message at 888-634-174.

[Adam Carolla]

It's an anomaly. It happens. There are some dudes, dudes who cross their legs like chicks. Dr. Drew crosses his legs like chick. Like a chick. Michael Malice has joined us. Michael's got a book, Not Sick of Winning A History of President Trump's first 100 days. Let's talk about crossing your legs like chicks for a second. Michael Malice. Okay, now I, I noted that there are kind of two. So I used to sit next to Dr. Drew and we used to do a TV show on MTV and we sat in these two chairs and there was no table or anything in front of us. And I would cross my legs with my left ankle on top of my right kneecap, like way open, okay? And Drew crossed his legs like a woman. And I remember at the time, in the late 90s, I'd say to him, drew, who the fuck crosses their legs? Like what dude crosses. I took note of it. Now everyone crosses their legs like a chick, but if they're liberal, it's 100% across the board. If you see Justin Trudeau or Obama or Gavin Newsom, it's a hard, hard cross all the time. And I think it's turned into a sort of signal, like a bandana hanging out of a gay man's right rear pocket. I think you're now signaling.

[Dawson]

Well, you know how vocal fry, which is talking like this is an affectation that women use to display certain level of wealth or education.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dawson]

I've also noticed that a lot of politicians and leftist pundits have. I don't know if I could say this, but, you know, let's just say less than heterosexual affect to how they speak to signal a certain level of status and living in urbanity. I can't cross my legs at my knee because I'm into designer denim and they're kind of tight. And I don't think that makes it better or worse. I'm not sure. It certainly doesn't help, but I think a lot of times there's a lot of these subtle social signals that people use to pass as one group or another. In fact, whenever I'm arguing with someone, I always try to. To mimic their language and their talking points as much as possible. Someone was just yelling at me this morning about being racist. Cuz I was comparing the New York city race to 911 and I just quoted RuPaul saying, pointing out racism is boring. So when you're quoting RuPaul, they assume you must be on the left Even if the statement's true and they don't really know what to do at that point.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree. And it's an interesting thing. And I'm not sure if they're aware of it. It's a kind of overall generalized affectation where you're sounding. I mean, so it used to be. So it's interesting. So it used to be if you drove a Cadillac or Mercedes Benz or had a Rolex watch, you could just kind of walk in and let people know where you were at. Also, you went to college. I went to Stanford. Okay. So the Rolex and the Mercedes Benz and the Stanford degree doesn't really mean shit anymore. And so now you have to sort of globalize it and internalize it. And I don't really think they know what they're doing. But I am saying this, and you're right with the vocal fry. It was so glaring to me 25 years ago that Dr. Drew crossed his legs in this bizarre way that I used to yell about it out loud all the time. And now how it's standard fare. And it cannot just be a coincidence that Barack Obama. Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau and Gavin Newsom look like they're having a competition to see who can cross their legs harder than the next, thus signaling who they are and where they are. And it's really interesting, and it's funny, and I don't know if they know what they're doing. I sort of like when you come get. Well, when they talk to a black church, Hillary Clinton becomes a sharecropper from 1879. Right.

[Dawson]

Well, I mean, given that there's so many in circles filled with unsavory characters, maybe signaling homosexuality is a way to say that, hey, I'm not one of the pedophiles. I'm just the gay one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm the victim. So the book is interesting. It's interesting. How so? Annoyed. For lack of a better term, a lot. Agitated. It's almost agitated. A lot of people are with Trump, especially on the left, and especially women on the left. They're like, what's going on? And for me, I feel like a marlin in the open sea. I'm just like, yeah, go, man. Go. Go do more shit. Fix more problems. Like, go get your shit done. Make hay while the sun is shining. And I realized so many people, especially women on the left, are like, no. And I think I kind of know what it is, but tell me what you think it is.

[Dawson]

Well, I tweeted out many years ago, they don't Hate Trump, they hate dad. And that's one of the things, I think for decades, a lot of American politics has been geared toward Karen because the white suburban mom is the swing voter, and the white liberal college student is basically who becomes Karen. Right. And for the first time in our lifetimes, I think you have a president who's like, yeah, I don't care what you have to say. Like, he's really kind of not even pretending to give lip service to their grievances. And they're shrieking. They had their heyday during COVID That's when they were running the show. And, you know, everyone's kowtowing to Karen culture, but Trump has no use for that, nor the Trump's appointees, including the females. And when you have a population whose entire worldview is, you know, feminism is the premise that women are allowed to say no, but never have to hear it. So when you have this entire population just being told no for the first time in their lives, and not even no with like, let's sit down and have a discussion. It's like, we want to ban guns. There's a school shoot. Let's ban on guns. No. And they don't know what to make of this. So, of course. And I think the media gives them a space to externalize their histrionics and neuroses and anxieties and depression.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

If you can find Andrew, where it all began, which I always tell everyone, this is kind of the genesis of it. The reporter asking Trump about where the virus came from comes from China, the China one. That's where it all began. And you're right. And it's a little hard for me. It's kind of more of a feeling than I can articulate it exactly. But. But these people are so used to sort of having their way that if you tell them to shut up, but are dismissive about it, they don't really know what to do with themselves. I have had it happen a couple of times in my life where I have told people to fuck off who haven't been told to fuck off in 40 years. And their reaction is never the reaction that a regular person would have, who gets told to fuck off all the time, who might tell you to fuck off or get violent. They look confused. Like they're literally like, what the. Hold on. You're not allowed. Wait a minute. You have to listen to me. And it's like, nah, I don't. Shut up. We're doing it without you. And they don't know what to do with themselves. And it's caused anger, but also it's like anger and confusion. I'll play the China clip, by the way, which is, this is if anyone said, who is Trump and why is he pissed these people off to no end. I just go, you got time for a 41 second clip? That'll be it. Because she goes, China. And then she's going right to the racist guard and he's like, fucking off.

[Steph Tolev]

Why do you keep calling this the Chinese virus?

[Adam Carolla]

There are reports of dozens of incidents of bias against Chinese Americans in this country. Your own aide, Secretary Azar, says he.

[Steph Tolev]

Does not use this term. He says ethnicity does not cause the virus. Why do you keep using this racist.

[G]

It's not racist at all.

[Adam Carolla]

No, not at all. It comes from China. That's. That's it. That's it.

[Steph Tolev]

He didn't.

[Dawson]

Yeah, he didn't. He didn't call it. He didn't call it the Chinaman virus. He didn't say China is not a race. And to, you know, when you say like American flag, you're not identifying that as some, like something for white people or anything. But Adam, to your point, I think every head. I don't, I don't think I know. Unless you're Channing Tatum or something like that. Every heterosexual man has to spend his entire adolescence and early adulthood being told note by women a lot. So we're used to, to it. We have, we know what it's like to want something and be like, sorry, buddy, no. And you're not even hearing explanation. But for these females, you know, Hollywood, the mall, academia, every other outlets just dedicate, tell them Yas Queen and how awesome they are. So they never are told, sit down and shut up.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. And that one little clip, she gets into it and you see her shaking her head and she's going, oh, I got him now. Oh, he's gonna back off this thing. He better come up with something good. Because I'm doing this thing where I'm scolding him and I'm doing this sort of head nod shake thing and I'm a little bit pissed and I know better than him. And then he goes, because it comes from China. And then she's got nowhere to go and nothing to do after that.

[Dawson]

It's also hilarious how sometimes Asians are regarded as a minority and victims of racism, and other times they pretend they don't even exist and they're basically default treated as whites. It's just this kind of Schrodinger's race. How the corporate journalists approach Asian People.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's so funny that Asian in America, I mean, it's something like, I don't know, 13% black and I don't know, 31%, 35% Hispanic or something like 4% Asian. But somehow they're not minorities because they outearn white people. And this weird thing where we're deciding what a minority is by their yearly income is an insane. It's like Nigerian. You guys are black, but not black. Black, not minority. Black, because you guys do you earn more than whites and Hispanics. So you're not really. By the way, it should be embarrassing to them that they've decided to. It should be embarrassing to them that they're all about women and they're all about minorities and they're all about black women, but none of them are about Thomas Sowell and none of them are about Candace Owens and they hate those people the most. Which is a weird thing because. Be consistent at least.

[Dawson]

I don't think they're about blacks or about women at all. They're about power. And the only thing that matters is what do I have to say to get you to do what I want? So to expect that they're consistent. They don't use language to communicate. They use it to manipulate late, just like you're seeing with that girl and the reporter. So I think it's perfectly consistent. It's just when people take it at face value, it's confusing because they'll flip flop for one minute to the next. But to feel embarrassed means you have to feel shame. Why would they feel shame? They're just, you know, being manipulative.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I get it. And then it kind of gets down to something. I do talk to Dr. Drew about a lot and we'll see if you vibe with it. There are people that get a lot of stuff done and then they're sort of process people. And the process people just want to talk about a seat at the table and they want to talk about having a community and they want to talk about everyone being treated with dignity. And then there's people that go, come on, let's go. What are we doing? Let's get it done, let's move. And when you come up against a process person and you're like, let's go, person, they get agitated and angry and then sort of combative. And at some point you're just trying to build something and do something, and they're just angry and combative. Like this thing where it's like the border, the border's wide open. Well, I'M going to the Triangle countries and I'm gonna sit down and talk to them about root causes of. Okay, and then nothing. And always nothing. Constantly nothing. Put a fucking, put a wall up. Get the National Guard. Like, no, no, no, no. Slow it down, slow it down. Everything's a conversation. If you're a process person, nothing comes out the other end. In California, we're gonna have another blue collar panel about homelessness. And then we're gonna sit down, we're gonna talk about root causes, and we're gonna talk about people being treated with dignity. And then nothing's ever gonna. Oh, and then we're gonna talk about names. Let's not call them homeless, let's call them unhappy. And they're gonna do everything but something. And it's weird that they exist.

[Dawson]

The root causes would actually be relevant perhaps if there was no space for these people. But there's plenty of shelters for them. They're choosing to be on the street. So the cause and effect is irrelevant if the problem has a solution that's not being applied. I wish I could remember who it was that I spoke to, but they had worked in a law firm and it would always be a female would say, we need more minority or black people like at this firm. And the guy who ran it said, okay, you're tasked with this without lowering your standards. Find me these candidates if you can, I'll get you a bonus. And if you don't, you're fired. And they always walked because they want to have their status by pointing out a problem. But they're not problem solving people, they're just problem causing people.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I was doing this kind of thought experiment the other day, and I was thinking about sort of the process versus the doer. Also, as I've said, Trump was a commercial builder, and commercial builders are always in a hurry. They're always waiting for the next. It's all process. Get the foundation guy, then get the concrete guy, then we gotta get the steel guy, then we gotta get the glass panel. And at some point they're putting toilet paper rolls up in the bathroom. But that's gonna take. That's a long way from here. So you're always in a hurry. But here's an interesting metaphor. Process, process. You go, okay, the twin towers have just been taken down. Nine, 11, they're gone. So we're gonna rebuild the twin towers. I'm gonna give one tower, I'm gonna give the project to Kamala Harris. She's in charge of rebuilding that one tower and the other tower we're gonna put Donald Trump in charge. Okay, so what do you guys want as a community? I would like the tower to be done as quickly as possible and at the lowest possible price. Okay, so what does Donald Trump do? Well, Donald Trump goes, I want the best subcontractors I've worked with to come in here and put in overtime. And by the way, they could all be black, they could all be women, and they could all be gay. I doubt it. But whoever the best is, is we're going and we're building. Kamala Harris says, I need a person, a manager, a construction manager who's female and who's a woman of color. So until we can find her, we can't get started, and then we look for her. Meanwhile, Trump's up to the third story and you're still interviewing women of color. And by the way, the woman of color you end up with. With doesn't have much experience doing commercial high rises in Manhattan because you've shrunk your pool so much. And then you hire her. And now Trump's up to the fifth floor, and now you go, all right, let's see if we can get the foundation guys in here. When I say guys, I mean 40% women doing foundation, 40% people of color. Those people need to represent the same. Trump's at the 17th floor now, and you haven't even fucking done your first pour cuz you're too busy trying to make this thing look like the city it represents or whatever the fuck. And by the way, you don't have the best people because what are the chances you're gonna get the best steel guy? And the best steel guy is gonna be bi. Curious. Simply safe. Well, it's important to feel safe, especially at home. That's why you have a home home. Traditional home security systems only take action after someone has already broken in. Well, that's too late. SimpliSafe with two eyes is setting the new standard in home security. Simplisafe's active guard outdoor protection can help prevent break ins before they happen. With AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents, they'll monitor your property to detect any suspicious activity. Monitoring plans start affordably around a buck a day. So buck a day for peace of mind. Not too shabby. These guys are great sponsors, great company. I know the whole origin story. We always use them. We've used them here since they've been around and that's been over a decade with us. It's simply safe. Am I right, dog? Awesome.

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[Unknown]

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[Dawson]

That's what it also works. Dangerous to take the analogy in other direction with the military. Military because there's two visions of what the military is. The military is either, you know, are forced to defend our borders and fight wars and destroy stuff, or it's basically this Benetton ad and it should look as much like America as possible. So if we're fighting the Nazis, we got guys in wheelchairs and ladies with, you know, genitals and so on and so forth. And we saw this during the Biden administration. There was a D. There's a diversity office within the va and it's. This is where it gets deadly. Because when you're shoulder to shoulder or, you know, band of brothers in the field, you're not thinking of yourself as black or Georgian or whatever. You're all Americans. There you are fighting the common enemy. But if you're encouraging these soldiers to have this kind of identity politics that could lead to really severe consequences and people getting killed. But they don't think in these terms because everything just has to look, be cast like what they see on TV as opposed to living in reality.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you think? Do you think we will, will kind of turn the corner on the process? Word salad. People that just are constantly talking and nothing ever comes out the other end versus some like results based stuff like, okay, the border's ostensibly closed. Fine, good. I think most people are like, good, the border's closed, fine. We now know who's in this country, or we don't know who's in here, but we know who's coming in. All right, are there gonna be enough of those types of victories that sort of 80, 20 subjects with the American people, where the American people are sort of go, you know what, maybe this is just a better way to go than the people that just sit around and talk about race and never do anything?

[Dawson]

No, in my opinion, because I don't think the average person looks at issues with anything close to rationale. They don't run a true or false filter. They run an us or them filter. And even if Trump brought about utopia in America, which he obviously is not going to do, at the end of the day, there are gonna be enough people who watch the corporate news who will tell you that he legalized murdering gay people and that he's deporting innocent American dads from their homes and so on and so forth. There are people who will tell you right now that he went to Charlottesville and was praising Nazis. And they will tell you with a straight face, they heard those words with their own ears years. And you play them that clip, they'll tell you, see, I told you so. So I think you're overestimating the rationality of the typical person. And I think the typical American is actually smarter, more rational than a typical person outside of America. So that's how bad I think it is.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. I don't hold up a lot of faith in humanity. I will say at our core, we're sort of of narcissistic pragmatist, where you kind of go, look, bottom line is, I just don't want to step over any homeless people on my way to the car in the fucking morning with my kids. I just don't want my house broken into. I just, I don't want the fucking my back fence tagged again. Like, I just, I don't want to pay six bucks a gallon for gas. I just don't want to do that. Now, I love, I love Gavin Newsom or I love whomever, but I just don't want to pay six bucks for gas. You know what I mean? So there's a kind of that. So it's kind of both, like, I agree with you, they're tribal and they've declared a major and whatever. But there is a kind of Howard Stern's in Florida most of the year because he makes a shitload of money and it's just a better life and saves a lot in taxes. And I'm guessing, you know, there's a lot of folks that are progressive who live in Florida just. Cause it's just like it's safer. I keep a lot more of my own money and I, you know, so what, I'll still vote blue, but I'll live in Florida, you know. And so there is a kind of a pragmatism about it. And so if things were like, I would say if you took a mayor of LA and that guy just fucking cleaned up LA and got rid of the homeless and the graffiti and worked on traffic or something like that. But the most progressives in LA would still kind of go, okay, I like this guy because he got rid of this stuff, you know, this crime or whatever.

[Dawson]

Well, I think it depends. I mean, New York had 20 years of right of center governors in a row, excuse me, mayors in a row. And that was precisely for the issues that you're talking about. You had Democrats who would never in a million years vote for Republican president, happy to pull the lever for Giuliani or Bloomberg. Not that they were particularly right wing Republicans, but they were certainly had to go in the of the back booth and go into the Republican column, which I'm sure hurt them emotionally on some level, but I don't know, man, if you look at Canada, if you look at Chicago, a lot of people want the cage, they double down. Louisiana is a great example. You had that guy who was running against Karen Bassett, I don't know his name off top of my head.

[Adam Carolla]

Rick Perez.

[Dawson]

Yeah, he was hardly some kind of Rick Santorum, radical social conservative, and he couldn't get through. You saw what just happened in the primary in New York. Not that I'm a big Andrew Cuomo fan, but I think a lot of people want the pain or want what they perceive as the best way forward. And no matter what the problem is, it's the other sides that's caused it. We heard this for four years. The border was open because somehow it was the Republicans fault. And then the second Trump comes in, the border gets closed. The Republicans somehow vanished. So as long as you have this boogeyman of the other party, you could get away with murder, literally.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree, and you're very true, very right. Like Chicago went from Lori Lightfoot. They're like, God, could you do any better, do any fucking worse than this crazy bitch to. Oh yeah, you can, Brandon Johnson, you can. And New York went that way too. I would. And you're right with la, but then LA burned to the ground. And the next time after the burning to the ground, maybe there'll be some movement in la, sure.

[Dawson]

But the fact that you have to say maybe is, I think, telling, because in any other situation, if there was a level of rationality, it's like, okay, like, look at Herbert Hoover, you know, he wasn't as bad as people say. But when you go from 29 to 32 and everyone's like, all right, I don't know what the other guy's for, but this is a disaster, I'm just gonna run for the hills. That hasn't happened in LA. I don't think Karen Bass would get 10% of the vote. I think she would get a guaranteed minimum 40.

[Adam Carolla]

We have the tape. Well, it's kind of funny. The Zoran guy who won in New York or maybe on his way to being the mayor of the city, which is incredible with his grocery stores. It's so they have no idea what they sound like. I guess they don't care. First off, grocery stores don't work off of big margins. I think it's like one and a half, two, maybe 3%. That's not a big profit margin, like number one. Number two, a grocery store is sort of a modern miracle if you think about it like just aisles and aisles of fresh produce and meats and fresh pressed orange juice and dairy and stuff like that. People go like this head of lettuce. It's $6. I'm like, it doesn't feel like that much considering the life. Yes.

[Dawson]

Can I interject here? We saw this happen. I think it was 89 when Boris Yeltsin came to. It was. It was Houston, I believe. And he went to an American supermarket for the first time from the far coming, the far side, the Iron Curtain. And we have footage. I went to that supermarket, still there, walking around, just befuddled. And they were shocked at how big the onions were and things like this. And the people shopping there were like janitors and teachers. These weren't dignitaries. And he said, you know, we've lost. Like, this is just proof that the free market is better. And on the way home, he basically had the reverse of a nervous breakdown. As his brain realigned, realigned into reality. He held his head in his hands. I wrote about this in my last book, the White Bill. And he goes, they lied to. To us. Like, they had to lie. Because if anyone knew at all what the true facts were, this is just a complete obvious choice. And yeah, the amount of the. I used to live in New York. I still don't know how to drive. Since I moved to Austin. The. The being able at 24 hours a day to go to this bodega and get fresh milk. I mean, if you went back in time 100 years ago and told that to all the poor immigrants on Lower east side, they think you're smoking opium.

[Michael Malice]

Also.

[Adam Carolla]

I just do this thought experiment from everyone, all right? The government, the government. Would you like the government to take over? Tacos, government, taco. There are no more taco stand. This stand anything. There's just government taco. And everyone goes, that would be a shit show. That'd be a horrible taco. I don't want that taco. And I go, good. That's how you, that's how you know you don't want them in charge of shit. Taco is very simple. Taco just relies on competition. That's all a taco is. It's like, we've all done it. They go, oh man, if you go up the keto mas, man, the street taco is awesome. They go, I got another place. And then there's a truck. And it's all, it's all, everyone's on their toes. You can't charge 40 bucks a taco. And the one has to be better than the last one you handed out out. And there's a crazy variety and you can get them at any time and they're fucking delicious. And the price is really manageable. But I'm telling, I'm just saying, would you like to do away with all that and let the government handle tacos? And if the answer is an unequivocal no, then you have your answer to everything.

[Dawson]

Well, you know, Ayn Rand had this essay called the Anti Conceptual Mentality. And she talked about how she was talking some businessman and she sat him down, down and she explained every, you know, about principles of capitalism and markets and so on and so forth. And she. And at the end he goes, okay, I agree with you that we shouldn't regulate the coal industry. And then he goes, but what about the steel industry? And you know, she kind of has to face palm, right? Because it's the same arguments, right? I don't think people can transfer what you're saying about tacos to other spaces because in their head, here's the thing, if you and I never had a taco again, it really wouldn't be the end of the world, right? So it's not really important in people's minds. So they can't really apply it to things that matter to them, with the things that matter to them. They want that government guarantee. They want that force, they wanna make sure they have it. And the other way to have that is through this kind of violent force that imposes its will.

[Adam Carolla]

We have the video of the guy who may soon be mayor of New York City explaining, explaining how he's going to fix this problem also. Can we do this? Can we say this, Michael? I've been on this planet for a long time. I was poor for the first half of my life, very poor. The supermarket system isn't broken. Like I was poor. And so I didn't go to Gelson's or Whole Foods. I went to Lucky's and I bought generic cereal. Generic stuff. But I was fine. I could buy milk and bananas. I made eight bucks an hour, drove a truck, swung a hammer and I'd fucking go shopping. I'd buy some hamburger meat. Yes.

[Dawson]

It's even simpler than that. We have food stamps, right? Food stamps mean if I'm poor to the point where I can't afford food, I go to the supermarket I can buy not everything, but enough to make sure I'm keeping starving to keep from starving. There's no reason for the government to run the store where they just give out those food stamps that have people who in need buy whatever they want want.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. All right, let's listen to Zorhan.

[Michael Malice]

Grocery prices are out of control. The cost of eggs and milk has skyrocketed. Some stores are even using dynamic pricing, jacking up the cost over the course of a day, depending on what they can get away with. It doesn't need to be this way. I'm Zahran Amdani and as mayor I will create a network of city owned grocery stores. It's like a public option for produce. We will redirect city funds from corporate supermarkets to city owned grocery stores whose mission is lower prices, not price gouging. These stores will operate without a profit motive or having to pay property taxes or rent and will pass on those savings to you. Grocery.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Dawson]

By the way, all that means is when I buy my groceries, I'm also paying for your groceries because it's going to be through taxation.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and also this like gouging thing like, you know, we just got done. Newsom just accused oil companies of gouging California. They're not gouging. You're over regulated. It costs too much to run a refund refinery here. Stores operate at 2, 3% margins. I don't think that's gouging. But also, if they started gouging at the Ralph's, then I'd go up the street to the Safeway and get my food. That's how it worked. Let's forget about the oil companies. Why don't we have the AMPM gas station on the corner of San Fernando and Victory. Just start gouging and charging $15 a gallon for gas. Go ahead.

[Dawson]

Yeah, there's this old Russian expression. If you think it's expensive now, wait till it's free. So I mean this idea that the cost of running what's going to be union workers. It's going to be land that could be used. You pay rent or a property tax on that land. There's so many ways this is losing revenue and who's it helping? And if he's going to start doing some kind of price control stuff, I mean, if you talk about bear shells, Biden, you know, a few years ago, this is what happens in all these other cities where the grocery stores can't handle all the theft without the legalization, you know, it's not being policed and then they run out of business. And then you have these so called food deserts. I mean the poor people, the ones who are hurt first, but they don't care about that.

[Adam Carolla]

Michael, let me give the book a plug. Not Sick of Winning A History of President Trump's 100 days, available now on the podcast. You're welcome with Michael Mouse as well. Michael, I hope when you're in LA you'll come by and see us in person, please.

[Dawson]

I will, I promise. Always a pleasure, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Always a pleasure, Michael. All right, we'll take a quick break. Rudy's gonna come and he's got the news. We'll do that right after this. Homes.com Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Or Perhaps it's at. Homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. So if you're looking for a home or you're doing what I do, I just like checking it out. Kicking some tires. Homes.com We've done your homework.

[Unknown]

This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Mission Impossible, Beverly Hills Cop, Good Burger and Dark of the Moon. Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now, pay Never.

[Rudy Pavich]

And now Alcoa presents Definitely Not a.

[Adam Carolla]

Jew on the Adam Corolla show.

[Rudy Pavich]

Dateline Clearwater, Florida.

[Adam Carolla]

A 22 year old woman was charged.

[Rudy Pavich]

With battery after getting into an altercation with the cashier at 7:11 and hitting.

[Adam Carolla]

Her in the face with a banana.

[Unknown]

The woman is employed as a stripper at baby dolls.

[Adam Carolla]

Gentlemen, Simmons club.

[Michael Malice]

Definitely not a Jew.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Rudy.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, bud.

[Adam Carolla]

Rudy's got some newsies.

[Michael Malice]

Let's do it. So the Simpsons kill off Marge Simpson.

[Adam Carolla]

Sort of.

[Michael Malice]

The Simpsons season 36 finale revealed that the Simpson family matriarch died in a flash forward scene. The episode titled A Stranger Things focuses on the sibling bond between Bart and Lisa, who grow apart after they stop watching the kids show Itchy and Scratchy. Marge is fearful that her kids will become estranged, which turns out to be a reality 35 years after Marge has died. Which, you know, I understand that a lot of these television shows, it's tough to be able to do an entire take characters from when they were children and put them into their teen years. But at some point, people do have to realize they were talking about how fans of the show were pissed off. First off, I don't know any fans of the Simpsons anymore. I think they've kind of died out. But then on top of it, you do have to realize this is a story. I get that they all kind of just sit in the same age in perpetuity, but at some point, people do have to die.

[Adam Carolla]

I want you to talk to my twins after the show because I can't get through to those two about people dying.

[Michael Malice]

Really?

[Adam Carolla]

They've got to die one day.

[Michael Malice]

Well, it feels weird that people would be angry about such a weird thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't. I really don't know. I mean, my God, I saw the Simpsons their first episode. I think we looked it up once. It must have been 889 or something.

[Michael Malice]

The full episode or Tracy Owen?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, full episode. Oh, you have Simpson characters on your body, right?

[Michael Malice]

I got spongebob squarepants.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I thought you had somebody from the Simpsons. Oh, all right. Better. The point is, is I was staying in Berkeley in a friend's house in December of 89. Yeah, end of 89. And I was trying to do comedy and it wasn't working out. I was kind of living in this dude's house cause his roommate went out of town. I like rented his room and I drove out from la and I remember seeing the first episode and I just remember going, this is smart. It's interesting. It was funn. I remember taking note of it kind of going, there's definitely something here that I don't Normally see. Especially late 90s sitcoms, you know, going up against sort of the family, you know, sort of bumbling dad and the wife that's too good looking but puts up with him and you know, the one smart kid and the One dumb kid. And all that kind of this stood out to me. And I just. I can't believe. For me, that was a lifetime ago. I mean, I was driving a truck and single and hadn't even got a whiff of show business. Like, it was a completely and utterly different life for me. And I can't believe that thing is still here that I saw in my friend's rental house in Berkeley in 89.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. Most of the stuff we saw, especially back in the 80s, would have a two to five episode lifespan. And then most of it died out. I mean, you think about, like, in fact, Family Guy does the bit. We might be able to find the clip. Family Guy does that entire bit where they talk about they got taken off the air for like, two or three years, and then their first scene back, they rattle off, like, 55 shows that Fox canceled.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Michael Malice]

Instead of putting Family Guy back onto the air.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I was early money on Family Guy. I thought it was really fun. I used to go do voices for Family Guy. When Family Guy was at their first location, it was in the Valley. It wasn't on Wilshire back then.

[Michael Malice]

Were you the voice of Death before or after Norm? That must have been after. Correct.

[Adam Carolla]

Norm MacDonald was the original voice of Death, and then I replaced Norm. I'm assuming. I was friends with Norm. Always was. Norm didn't seem to care. I never really talked to him about it. Definitely hung out with him after taking over as a voice of death with Norm, and I never did. It's kind of a weird life. I never asked Norm and I never asked Seth, and I've spent a lot of time with both of them. Why Norm? Here's what I'm going to say. Assume Norm lived in, like, Playa del Rey or something. He lived by the beach. He was like, deep, deep west side. Deep west side. There's kind of Beverly Hills west side, but you can just get over the hill, and then there's Santa Monica west side. And then there's Hermosa beach or Playa del Rey or something like deep, deep. And Norm didn't drive himself, and he had a really real difficulty with normal things. Like, a lot of comedians are like, a lot like, there's no way I'm going into the Valley, bro. It's like, listen, first off, I used to drive my truck. I'd be working at Silver Lake one week, and I'd be Simi Valley. And get up, get in your car and drive somewhere, would you? You prima donna's. Like, what do you mean? You can't do it or too much. You know what I mean? Like, it's. It's weird how, like, overwhelmed everyone is all. All the fucking time. I just. Last week, I got up in the morning, I moved. I had to be out of the rental place after being displaced. I literally got up at 7 on Thursday. I'm not fucking blowing my own horn, but I got up at 7, I moved for about three hours, and then I did a podcast for two hours. And then I jumped in the car and I drove to Vegas. And then I didn't give myself enough time to get to the hotel, so I just got dropped off at the club and I changed in the back and I did two shows. It's fine. Yeah, it's just standing and talking or driving a car with air conditioning. People are, like, overwhelmed. But Norm did not drive himself. By the way, those of you who announce, I don't drive, all you do is burden everyone around you.

[Michael Malice]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like your personal choice. Like, I had a. I love the personal. I had a friend. Every time I'd go out with him, back when we were poor, for, like, breakfast, back when it was like a big deal to pay for someone else's breakfast, we'd go out and we'd be eating like a nine bucks an hour, swinging a hammer, and the check would come and go, yeah, man, I don't got any money. We didn't have credit cards or anything. And I go, why not? And he goes, I just took my ATM card and I just cut it in half with scissors. Because I'd take a bunch of money out on Friday and just spend it all. And I go, okay, great. Now you don't have money. Yeah, I know you don't like spending money. Me neither. But now I gotta buy your food. So now you have to drive Norm. I get the feeling he was probably late a few times or missed a couple of times, and they just went, fuck it.

[Michael Malice]

Not worth it.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause I did the first one in the Valley, in the San Fernando Valley when they were on Laurel Canyon. And like, the first. First iteration of them. I think the first one I did was called Death Lives, which is me with my mom, Death's mom, who never stopped handpacking him. Yeah. Who was famous actress. Who. Character actress. I can't. We'll find. Was she Seinfeld's mom in the.

[Michael Malice]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes, she was. Yeah. I can't remember her name, though. Top my head, but same voice.

[Adam Carolla]

Seinfeld's mom.

[Michael Malice]

Seinfeld. It was Costanza's mom. Is George's mom.

[Adam Carolla]

George's mom was my mom.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. Yeah. Did. Was Seth in on the. The script readings and all that? Did they have a director that kind of sat in for him?

[Adam Carolla]

We used to do. Yes. No, he would read in and he would do Estelle. That's right. Estelle Harris. I keep thinking of Estelle Getty. Yeah, Estelle Harris. Seth would be there always at the beginning, and he would always be late. And then you have to fucking sit around and wait, right? And then I would say, look, half the time I'm just doing pickups. And so, like, the script would read, I don't think so. And so it's like you do like three, you know, you go, like, I don't think so. And then you go, I don't think so. And then you go, I don't think so. And I go, all right. And we go to the next one. And some of them are just like grunts or no. Or huh. Or something, you know? And I'd go, all right, let's just pick this shit up, you know? And they'd go, we gotta wait for Seth. And then I'd go, do we have to wait for Seth? Just. He wants to. Seth needs to. And so then Seth would sit in the other room. He'd sit in the director's. The audio room, but you could see him through the glass. And then he would read with you. He would do his part and you would do your part, but he would do kind of a half a Peter Griffin, whatever. A non record. They weren't recording his side of it. So he'd do like a. Kind of lazy. And I just tell him, I need 100%. I'm not fucking fucking around. I mean, he don't really care. I just go, I fucking waited a half hour and now you're mailing in Peter Griffin. I need like full time. Sure, like 100% Peter Griffin. He would laugh and then. And he would do it, you know, or Stewie or whoever. He just. He'd do them all. And I always knew when Seth made it big, like after Ted and so on and so forth, because I used to always come in and go. They go, we gotta wait for Seth to come in. And I'd go, you don't need to wait. I'll just pick up my lines and you read Peter and then go. The guys would always be like, I know, but we gotta wait for Seth because he needs to be involved. He's involved with everything here, you know.

[Michael Malice]

And then just lay down a couple of tracks just in case you know, at least you'd be doing something while you're sitting in the booth.

[Adam Carolla]

So one day I just went in there and a couple years on, and I was like, all right, Seth, not here. We gotta wait for them. I go, no, we're deal with the. And I go, where's Seth? I don't know, but we're gonna lay this down. And I was like, oh, you don't have to wait for Seth anywhere. No, we don't have to wait for Seth. I was like, oh, Seth's busy. Seth's rich. Seth's getting a blowjob. Seth's hammer and checks eventually, Mr. Hands on is working on Ted too. And fuck that.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, I do quite a bit of voiceover work, which is. It's fine when you can get it. It's definitely ebbs and flows. I got a commercial on right now that's that. I don't know if you've ever had this doing VO work, but they basically told me, they're like, no, this is just for. It's a pop up on the website. And you're just, you know, so they pay you, you know, pennies on the dollar. I have heard it's for my computercareer Edu. If you are ever listening to Hulu or if you're ever like listening to Sirius XM or any. It's all over the goddamn place.

[Adam Carolla]

Watching Hulu or listening to Hulu.

[Michael Malice]

If you're watching Hulu, it'll pop up like in a commercial.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't know if there's some Hulu, Hulu Radio, something.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, it's on spot. It is all over the goddamn country. I get emails and text messages daily about, hey, I heard you doing the computer spot. And I'm like, these guys need to pay me a little bit more cash, man. Cause they basically sell you on like, oh, but you get the exposure. I'm like, the exposure of what? I was like, my face, it's my voice. I don't get exposure. People who know me, know me. They know the commercial. But there's not, like, exposure. Also, I can't pay bills with that. So the amount of money that they paid me, like I went back to my agent was like, what the fuck?

[Adam Carolla]

And they were.

[Michael Malice]

They were like, nah, sorry, dude, this is what you get. So it's like, now I'm kind of in this crossroads where I go, all right, do I get rid of it and stop having people? Because, you know, like, I get noticed. People who listen to this show or they hear me on other podcasts With Michael Yeoh. Or they know me from other commercials that I've done. They go, oh, I know that guy. There's plenty of times I get off stage and people go, are you the. My computer career guy? And I go, absolutely. And they're like, that's great. And I'm like, I got paid, like, $100 for that fucking thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Thing.

[Michael Malice]

And these guys are making. They're playing it all over the goddamn country. And I don't know if you've ever gone through this, but I'm telling you, it is like. It's chapping my ass right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Now I haven't. And I have done a lot of. I guess the commercial I would do. I knew there were national campaigns or whatever. I could bore everyone with crazy, long, stupid stories for this stuff. That aside, though, let's just hear you say, go to lovesack.com, offer code Adam. And let's just hear what that would sound like.

[Michael Malice]

Go to lovesack.com right now, offer code Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's nice.

[Michael Malice]

You want.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't need three.

[Michael Malice]

You don't need three.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right. I want to hear this. Yeah. I have my own million stories. That's a great. I don't know why the line always makes me laugh, but when I think it was Norm MacDonald when he was Death, and he sees Peter Griffin sees Death, and he starts running away as fast as he can. And Death goes, I caught Flo Jo. I can catch you. And I was like, oh, it's such a tough joke. It's so. I mean, limpic sprinter dropped dead at 46 or whatever. Just. It's such a brilliant, tough, great joke.

[Michael Malice]

It's the only show that I can sit down with, like, my entire family, my mom included, and everybody loves it from start to finish every episode.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was also weird just going there, and Mila Kunis would just be standing around and everyone who did all the voices. It was a great vibe. Good. Lots of food. Fun floor. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right.

[Michael Malice]

Well, good.

[Adam Carolla]

Awesome.

[Michael Malice]

All right, let's go. Florida to detain migrants and new Everglades facility dubbed Alligator Alcatraz, Florida, this week started construction on a migrant detention facility. The state is billing as efficient and low cost because Mother Nature will provide most of the security. Alligator. Excuse me. Alligator. Alcatraz is being erected on a little used airstrip in the Everglades. The vast, vast expanse of marshes and swamps that cover much of southern Florida hosts a dizzying array of wildlife, from hundreds of bird species to bobcats, panthers, crocodiles, and alligators.

[Adam Carolla]

It's kind of interesting. You don't. I mean, you need a fence around this facility to keep the alligators out, not to keep the inmates in. Yeah, yeah. I like. It's so funny. I mean, not funny, but like that. Movies would have that theme. When I was young, like, you know, you may get off the rock of Alcatraz, and all it is is two miles of shark infested water. And I remember, like, as a kid, I was like, oh, Pepillon was that way. Pepillon was like French Guyana. And if you escape the prison now, you're just gonna have to deal with the swamps of Guyana, you know? And I loved all the. And then later he went to Devil's island. And it's like, you'll never survive the current and the ocean swim to the mainland, you know? I don't know why that stuff's always sort of romantic or something. Makes me feel like I'm 11 going, oh, man, that's cool. But if you think about it, nobody wants a fucking prison next to their school or their home or their market or whatever. They put it out in the fucking middle of the Everglades and. And no one's gonna have the incentive to go over the fence. Cause it is nothing but snakes and alligators, so why not?

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. Wasn't that always. That was always. The deal with Alcatraz was the shark infested waters outside of it. Wasn't that. That was the whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

They would. They would. They. They would do the. If the sharks. If the current doesn't get you, the sharks will.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But then every year they have an Alcatraz fun swim for a whole bunch of fucking triathlete guys. Guys jump in the bay and swim all day. So sharks, what, day off or they're looking for guys in prison uniforms. I. You can't keep talking about the sharks and then have the shark fun swim every year with the. With the Alcatraz Polar Bear Club.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

One or the other.

[Michael Malice]

One or the other.

[Adam Carolla]

And the current. I'm going the current as well.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. How many other things in that ocean can possibly kill you that they're not telling us about? It's got to be, you know, I mean, how much gay glitter, how many boas are down there?

[Adam Carolla]

It's really about the infection now more than it is the sharks. Like that in today's America, you have much better chance of getting pink eye and like, a yeast infection.

[Michael Malice]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

From all the sewage.

[Michael Malice]

Well, yeah. Just walking around San Francisco. I'll give that to you.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. We have the clip of Norm from As it mentioned that I ran two weeks of Junior Varsity Trek. Uh, let's not do this. Hey, look, I caught Flo Joe.

[Dawson]

You don't think I can catch you?

[Adam Carolla]

My ankle. God. Flow joke. You know what I love best about jokes like that? I guarantee whoever pitched that joke pitched it to his wife or his girlfriend or something, and she didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. It's tough. And then they don't get it.

[Michael Malice]

How long are we gonna listen to that in there?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I made a joke. The model, Rebecca Gayheart.

[Michael Malice]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I said she had the same nickname as Manny Pacquiao. Someone's like, manny Pacquiao was called the Mexicutioner. And I was like, yeah. She ran over a Mexican kid on the way to school. And everyone looked at me like, what? No. Oh, fuck. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Yeah, I get it. It was a horrible joke. But it also confused 80% of the room.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. Yeah. Most of them are just sitting around going, noxzema. What's gotta do with that?

[Adam Carolla]

The Noxzema gal. All right. There it was. Yeah. The only. There was a line I always loved that I improvised in the one Death Lives, one that I sort of starred in that episode or whatever, but, boy. But Death's mom, who's also dead, obviously never stopped hounding her son. Me Just kept yelling at me. And at some point I just said under my breath, I go, God, I wish dad was dead.

[Michael Malice]

Did they give you a lot of wiggle room on that show?

[Adam Carolla]

They kept that one in there.

[Michael Malice]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Which was just a riff, but it was. It was smart because you picture the exact same scene where I go, God, if dad was still alive, he'd tell his bitches, shut up. You know, but he's gone. You know? But because it was Death, I had to wait somehow. Dad wasn't.

[Michael Malice]

He's still alive. He's up there or something.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't really do the math, but I thought it'd just be fun if we twisted the script on it.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I don't remember. Yeah, probably in the early days. Look, their thing was like, oh, said something funny. We'll keep it. Sure. One just makes them seem better.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. I was doing a voiceover. I don't know why, just made me think of this. But in Minneapolis, I was doing a voiceover. And I got out of the booth after probably three hours. And the lady director, as I was walking out, she pulled me aside. I was with a Friend of mine, also another voiceover guy. And she leans into me and she goes, I just want you to know you're not the most talented, but you're the most coachable.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Michael Malice]

We walked outside, and I get what she was saying. But a friend of mine, like, that's a hell of a compliment. I was like, fuck that bitch. I was like, I know what she means, but I'm a little angry about. I get what she. That's great. Very nice. I appreciate that. But, wow, There was a part of me that's like. That is wildly backhanded.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what would be a great move? Find out. Find her husband or boyfriend. Was. And just go, listen, I will give you $800 if after your next blowjob, you say to her this line, you know, you're not very talented, but you're coachable. I will give you $800 if you promise to do that.

[Michael Malice]

I need it on film.

[Adam Carolla]

I need it. Well, we'll do audio. It's fine.

[Michael Malice]

Can you give me three?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Have fun with it. All right, one more, One more.

[Michael Malice]

All right. Oh, here it is. I wanted to bring this one up to you. A couple of thoughts about this guy. Disgraced influencer liver king arrested in Texas after calling out Joe Rogan in unhinged post. If you remember the liver, about his insane muscular physique, gobbling down raw organs and even testicles. Was arrested in Texas after challenging Joe Rogan to a fight in a bizarre social media footage.

[Adam Carolla]

I never saw this.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. The YouTuber, whose real name is Brian Johnson, was charged Tuesday with making a terrorist threat. Soon after traveling to Rogan's home state and posting alarming videos after picking a fight with the podcaster, at times holding what appears to be two guns.

[Adam Carolla]

Guns. All right. Everything.

[G]

Because Joe Rogan. We don't have to make videos to pretend anymore. All of this is happening. We're coming to you. I've challenged you, man to man, to a fight. Honorable. And we don't have to pretend or make any videos. The world is watching. They'll make the videos for us. And you don't have to hold a camera. You can hold the hand of somebody that you love. Because what happens next to you, you're going to need to remember that feeling. You're going to need something more than what you did to give you something to fight for, because I have my family to fight for. That's. And then I'll die for them. You know that. And you're a black belt, but you've never come across something like this willing to die hoping that you'll choke me out. I pray to God, because that's a dream come true. It feels good. And then the limbs. I'm fighting for my family, so limb, limb, limb, limb, limb, limb. Go ahead. But. But then you have to contend with something else. And I weigh 177 pounds. An actual savage. And so at first, you're like that guy. That guy. And right when you got to be.

[Adam Carolla]

Short to be 177, you're saying, I'm gonna choke that.

[G]

That piece of. I'm gonna choke him out. So warriors do. You and Andrew Tate are good warrior, good warriors, but you're actually better than that. Real tension. We have comedy. Comedy that you do is good and true. We have real tension. But what I see in you is comedy is good and true. Touch points. A lot of people laugh if we don't make fun of them at their expense. They laugh. You should all make fun of me. You should all make fun of me.

[Adam Carolla]

Netflix. It's kind of Netflix.

[Rudy Pavich]

There might be a train wreck.

[G]

And then you should get paid for it.

[Adam Carolla]

It's got a Netflix like Liver King or something.

[G]

Because we're leaving. We're going to Austin. What was my very last point?

[Michael Malice]

That we're gonna kick Joe Rogan's ass? Is it what? This case.

[Adam Carolla]

The real. Oh, Gee. Said it looks like he smells Justin Fitz. Yeah, Smelly. Yeah.

[Michael Malice]

That's a little unhinged. He's kind of got, like, fentanyl hands. The dirty kind of fentanyl. Been out in the streets a little too long. Hands in that video, so.

[Adam Carolla]

But why did he get arrested? Cause he had the guns.

[Michael Malice]

Well, it must have been. Cause the guns. It says here. I had it written down here. Where was it? It might be on the other page. But he was. I said that mostly because it was about the video that he had posted with the two guns. He was detained at the Austin police something or another. Wyatt says exactly why they don't tell. But here we go.

[Adam Carolla]

He was hanging around Austin, making threats.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah. Booked in the Travis county jail. Austin, 8:31pm Online records show. But further details of the arrest were not immediately known. Wednesday.

[Adam Carolla]

Hmm.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yes. It's an untold old documentary. Liver King.

[Adam Carolla]

No, untold.

[Rudy Pavich]

Untold. Did Malice in the palace and that whole thing. Train wreck is another one. Fire Festival and shit like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. So they did one on him.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, they got a new one out about the Toronto mayor that I'm looking forward to.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

Sorry.

[Michael Malice]

Speaking of docs, last night, watched the Mad Magazine documentary.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you did? Yeah, gorgeous.

[Michael Malice]

I rented it off of Amazon Prime.

[Adam Carolla]

You paid money?

[Michael Malice]

I did 5.99. I'll expect that back. Yeah, no, it was great. I loved it. There was so much of it that, you know, you have to cram in 60 years of Mad magazine into 90 minutes. So there's so much of it that just sort of gets a little. Not. I mean, not blown over, but they'd mention it. But I would have watched two hours on MAD magazine versus J. Edgar Hoover. I thought that was super interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's out as we speak, wherever. When we went mad, one of our latest docs, if you don't mind me.

[Michael Malice]

Asking, how did I know you were a part of it and the crew, like Nate Adams and the guys around here were also a part of it. But this must have been started a while ago because Gilbert Godfrey is in it as well.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, docs are. Sometimes we make them out of whole clothes, like many. The Newman dock and Shelby and Ford versus Ferrari, which is the 24 hour war and stuff like that. Then other times, people come to us and they go, we have part of a doc. Can you guys finish this doc? And we know how to facilitate finishing the dock and sort of everywhere in between. So there's some. Some are works in progress, some are done. Some I just fund from Jump Street. Others we get funding and do them. I mean, it's not really a way to make a living. It's just a way to create stuff and to have something from something that Mike August won't take the cellophane off of in advance, even though he's been told repeatedly to do it in a merch table at some point. And it just ends up being. When you're done with your Life and Norm MacDonald or Adam Carolla come calling, there's just going to be a pile of books, a pile of docs, a pile of old cars or whatever. And this is just be one more thing that my kids don't care about. But it's also kind of weird when you get on a little bit, you just start looking at stuff. Like I sometimes find myself at the merch table looking at all the movies going, oh, yeah, that's something. Yeah, yeah, I remember thinking of that. And now it's this. And it's kind of nice. But yeah, for us, I think. And I gotta talk to Nate. Exactly. But I'm pretty sure somebody got this going and then couldn't complete it or something and then came to us, gotcha yeah, yeah.

[Michael Malice]

It's very well done. Like, the production value of it. In fact, after about 6, 7 minutes of watching it, I thought to myself, oh, this is what it would feel like if you were watching a MAD magazine, if it was coming to life in front of you. That is what this felt like.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm telling you that it's sort of when you don't notice it, where it kind of makes a difference. Like if you watch. If you watch the Andre the Giant doc, which I did and I enjoyed because it's Andre the Giant. Hulk Hogan is just, like, sitting in his kitchen in Boca Raton, like, being interviewed. And we wouldn't do that. We'd go, you can't just sit in your kitchen, give an interview. Let's put you in the den. Let's put the championship belts around you and the trophies around you. You. If we're going to shoot something, we're going to shoot Mario Andretti, or we're going to shoot them at the track, or we're going to shoot them in the trophy room, and we're going to bring in and set it and light it so it looks. It's not you sitting in your kitchen talking about wrestling or car racing. I want you in that environment, you know, and when it's done right, it's just quiet and subtle and no one really notices. But at the end, you go, I like that one better. Look better. But it's really Nate and others going, we are going to dress this place, and we're gonna light it in a certain way, and we're gonna make it look like when you see it, you'll know this is a doc about car racing because that's the environment these people are in, and there's some artistry to it. And, you know, Nate does a good job. We do a good job on stuff. Looks good. But thanks.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, Fantastic.

[Adam Carolla]

Loved it. Thanks for watching.

[Michael Malice]

Yeah, Loved it.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Rudy, let me give you a plug. Where are you gonna be next?

[Michael Malice]

Let's see. I'm gonna be. Friday, I'll be at Jimmy Kimmel's comedy club in Las Vegas with Jamie Lizzow. And then after that, let's see. I'm taking a couple of weeks off going to northern Minnesota, and then you can find me with ornie Adams on July 11th and 12th at James Jimmy Kimmel's comedy club in Vegas.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you gonna be in Milwaukee?

[Michael Malice]

I will be with you on the 17th in Wisconsin. Then I'm doing a couple of don't tells in Milwaukee, and then we're doing the Pabst Theater together July 20th.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that's gonna be good. You can go to ampcroll.com for all my live shows. Irvine coming up at the improv live pod 10th and then the 11th through the 12th. Covina Laugh Factory got amcroll.com for that. Until next time, Amcroll for Rudy and Stephen and Michael saying, Mahala, pick your.

[Rudy Pavich]

Phone and leave us a voicemail. The number is 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see Adam Carolla at AdamCorola.com.

[Adam Carolla]

This.

[Unknown]

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