Steve Byrne + Candace Bailey (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show — Carolla Classics: Steve Byrne + Candace Bailey (May 9, 2026)

Episode Overview

This Carolla Classics episode, hosted by “Superfan” Giovanni, revisits standout moments from the Adam Carolla Show’s archive. The main focus is on two classic segments: a 2012 episode featuring comedian Steve Byrne (with Allison Rosen, Brian “Bald Bryan” Bishop, and Dave Damashek) and another with Candace Bailey (Attack of the Show). Expect Adam’s signature unfiltered humor, sharp observations on society, lively debates, candid listener interactions, and colorful stories from the road.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Adam’s Signature Rants: Air Travel & Lounges

• Adam shares his frustrations with airline lounges and travel perks, recounting a series of events where premium credit cards like the Priority Pass and AmEx Black Card repeatedly failed to get him access to lounges:
  • “I have flashed this fucking black card at 200,000 lounges and they just go, yeah, well, I, I don't know why you're holding that up.” (06:33)
• Adam reflects on the lost “personal touch” in customer service and compares past travel flexibility to today’s strict, by-the-book rules.

Life on the Road: Hotels & Barbecue

• Adam describes the perils of staying at big hotels: nice rooms but ridiculous walks from the elevator.
• Stories about eating barbecue in Texas and subsequent digestive challenges (“Take a Shit Timer”), leading to bathroom emergencies complicated by failed room key cards and “two six-year-old bullies holding the elevator open” at the worst possible time (14:09).

Observations on Modern Youth & Service Industry

• Adam laments a lack of engagement from service industry workers, attributing it to a “new breed of $8 an hour fucking brain dead dicks” who are disengaged due to video games and a text-based upbringing (21:30).
  • “There's a new young breed of not really engaged or connected and don't know what you're talking about. And furthermore, don't really, don't really care.” (24:44)

Societal Decay: Music in Public Spaces

• Adam rails against dance/club music being pumped in at inappropriate venues like sports bars and bagel shops, partly blaming the “13-year-old demographic” for dominating marketing and ambiance decisions. This leads to a riff on generational divides and the misapplication of “youth culture” (27:16):
  • “We decided to build our society around 13 year olds and 13 year old girls. For some reason they became the demographic.”

Travel Etiquette: Airplane Armrest Rules

• The gang debates etiquette for airplane seating and who gets the coveted armrest, with Adam proposing a “long sleeve only” policy on crowded flights to avoid awkward skin-to-skin arm contact (35:52).

Security Theater at Airports

• Adam points out the inconsistent enforcement of TSA rules: “This clear Ziploc bag, toiletry, aerosols, whatever thing. This is the most bizarrely enforced rule there is. It exists. It doesn't exist. It does exist, and then they don't enforce it.” (38:26)
• Humorous complaints about traveling companion Mike August’s loudly oblivious interactions with TSA.

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Listener Call-Ins: Candid Q&A

Criticism & Comedy (42:04)

Listener asks Adam how he handles negative reviews and criticism:

• Adam: “I've always been lucky in that when I get the bad reviews, I get the ones that say, minus a million stars out of five stars, which doesn't mean anything... But when somebody you respect says something to you that has some meaning, then you have to take it in.” (43:20)

Internet Hate & Anonymity (46:21)

• Discussion on how internet anonymity emboldens people to be nasty, with Adam noting, “Everyone is just on the Internet telling everyone to fuck off now. It's great.”

Parenting & Teen Issues

• Listener shares about his 11-year-old daughter coming out as gay. Adam offers a complex, humorous, and at times questionable take but empathizes that trauma (mother’s death) and family communication are at play (48:16).
• Another caller, Dina, says her husband is leaving her after she beat cancer (“he doesn't want to deal with... side effects”). Adam and the team agree he’s using cancer as an excuse and advise her to move on (56:51).

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Featured Guest Interview: Steve Byrne

Steve’s Background & Comedy Origins (64:50)

• Steve discusses growing up half-Korean, half-Irish in Pittsburgh (65:08), and how Pittsburgh as a city “quietly” reinvented itself.
  • “They are the Irish of the Asians. I mean, they can throw fighting, drinking, they got tempers. They like the booze, they like whiskey.” (65:39)
• Adam and Steve riff on the toughness of Koreans and the transition from working at Caroline’s Comedy Club to standup.
• Steve shares wild stories from the road, including being hit with a barstool and a hotel elevator brawl (“my own personal rush hour”).

Cultural Observations: Black Tie Outfits & Entourages

• Adam is fascinated by the formality and style of "black barbecue suits" and the logistics of comedy entourages: “I don’t understand the one thing you do as a comedian, you don’t need any equipment... and then rolling like literally like 12 deep.” (80:14)

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Candace Bailey Segment

Gymnastics Stunts Your Growth? (164:33, 166:24)

• Candace, former gymnast and TV host, explains her belief that gymnastics can stunt growth. Adam is skeptical, but Allison finds a scholarly citation supporting the idea.
  • “I grew 4 inches when I quit [gymnastics]... I’d have been real short.” (166:59)

From Gymnastics to TV

• Candace’s journey: quitting gymnastics, then modeling and acting, leading to Attack of the Show hosting.
• Reflections on childhood, comedy, and what summer camps actually prepare kids for, with Adam stating, “I don’t want any camp where you train to do something you’re never gonna do.” (172:07)

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Topical Deep Dive: Aurora Theater Shooting (174:57 onwards)

• When the episode was recorded (2012), the Colorado “Dark Knight” shooting had just occurred.
• Allison Rosen presents the known facts about the shooter—his background, the booby-trapped apartment, the massacre, and the easy legal access to weapons.
• Adam debates the role of gun laws, mental illness, familial responsibility, and the “NRA's endless argument” for all forms of firearms (179:05).
  • “Nobody needs [assault rifles]. What the NRA does is they do what the smokers should have done, which is they argue every single piece of legislation, every single point, because they never want it to get to the handgun part.” (177:29)
• Proposal: Adam suggests a form of “sky marshals” for malls and movie theaters; plainclothes armed guards to deter mass violence.
  • “Have four or five dudes, plain clothes, walking around, pretending like they’re shopping. Sky marshals, just basically full-time packing.... Terrorists would never know where this guy was.” (181:44)
• Closing thoughts on the challenge of spotting, diagnosing, or intervening with “people who will kill,” and society's lack of practical systems for family or bystanders to intervene.

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Classic Carolla Arguments: Leaf Blowers (104:20+)

• Adam and Bald Bryan debate (often hilariously) whether banning gas-powered leaf blowers would cause gardener prices to rise in LA.
• Adam: “In Los Angeles, it’s illegal to smoke on the beach or in parks ... yet these guys with the leaf blowers spread their toxic plume with impunity.” (124:01)
• Bryan maintains a “market saturation” argument, to which Adam repeatedly rebuts with economic, supply-and-demand, and practical logic—while everyone else weighs in or laughs at the absurdity.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Adam: “I have the power of pre-annoyance.” (104:20)
• On disengaged service workers: “There's a new young breed... not really engaged or connected and don’t know what you’re talking about. And furthermore, don’t really care.” (24:44)
• On commuter luxury perks: “I have flashed this fucking black card at 200,000 lounges and they just go, yeah, well, I, I don't know why you're holding that up.” (06:33)
• On music in sports bars: “We built our society around 13-year-olds and 13-year-old girls. For some reason, they became the demographic.” (27:16)
• Steve Byrne, on being attacked onstage: “I was called the chairman. For a year you’ll get that. Every comedian is... just for a year, you’ll get...” (75:54)
• Adam, suggesting arm gaiters: “Some kind of gaiters for your arms, you know what I mean? Like they can hand them out, make you feel like a surgeon.” (36:23)
• Candace Bailey: “I grew 4 inches when I quit [gymnastics]... I would have been real short.” (166:59)
• Adam: “I don’t want any camp where you train to do something you’re never gonna do.” (172:07)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:24 – Adam returns from the road/travel rant
• 07:33 – Lounge access frustration
• 14:09 – Hotel bathroom emergency/stuck with elevator kid bullies
• 21:30 – Rant: Service workers, video game culture
• 27:16 – Music in sports bars/Youth culture
• 35:52 – Airplane etiquette/armrests/“long sleeves”
• 42:04 – Listener Q&A: Handling criticism in comedy
• 46:21 – Internet hate/online criticism
• 56:51 – Caller: Husband leaving after cancer recovery
• 64:50 – Steve Byrne interview: Heritage, comedy origin
• 75:54 – Onstage attack, “the chairman” story
• 80:14 – Black tie suits, entourages
• 104:20 – Leaf blowers/gardener economy argument
• 174:57 – Aurora theater shooting discussed
• 181:44 – Adam's plan for armed “mall marshals”
• 164:33 – Candace Bailey segment/gymnastics and TV career

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Tone & Style Notes

• The tone swings from jocular and absurd (leaf blower rants, toilet emergencies) to deeply analytical (mass shootings, mental health) and occasionally dark.
• Adam’s delivery is candid, frequently explicit, and leavened by comic riffing with his crew and guests.
• Listeners calling with real-world issues receive equal parts humor, empathy, and no-nonsense advice.

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For New Listeners

If you’re new to the Adam Carolla Show or these classic episode highlights, expect a fast-paced mix of social observation, standup-style storytelling, real-life problem-solving, and relentless banter. This episode is a tour-de-force of Adam’s comedic worldview, seasoned with hard-earned gripes and sharp debate about modern life.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Steve Byrne]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Steve Byrne]

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[Caller/Listener]

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[Adam Carolla]

and Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't

[Dave Damashek]

go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Allison Rosen]

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[Adam Carolla]

What is this your first date? Oh no.

[Steve Byrne]

We help people customize and save on

[Dave Damashek]

car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.

[Adam Carolla]

We're married.

[Dave Damashek]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Dave Damashek]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Podcast Host Giovanni]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fan selected clips from all 17 years of the Adam Carolla Show. If you would like to hear any of these full episodes presented today or any other episodes from the Adam Carolla show archive over 4200 original episodes along with the entire archive of the Adam and Dr. Drew show as well as the podcast Beat It Out. Make sure to check out Adamcarolla substack Adamcarolla.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please please email us classicsdamcarollo.com now as a side note, we cannot play any material from Loveline or the Kayla Sex Morning show which ran from 2006 to 2009. If you're looking for any of that content, please check out my patreon patreon.com Giovanni there you'll find the most up to date information on my archival efforts or in the home stretch, let's get to the clips coming up. First we have Adam Kurilla show 867 with Steve Byrne along with Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop. This one's from 2012.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Allison Roseman.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello, Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Bull. Brian, I hope you get raped by a thousand black men. Oh, I got some complaining to do. Just got back off the road.

[Brian Bishop]

Strange start to the week.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Houston, all that kind of stuff. Good crowds, good people. Phoenix, Arizona, all that. Couple things. First, Matt Porcelain, Punisher Fondelier. Go ahead and man that mic. We were flying in, flying to had a great moment. I make all my travel plans on the way to the airport. Matt was driving me and Mike August in to the airport on Thursday and I said, am I flying first class, Matt? And he said no. And I said, how long's this flight from LAX to Houston? It was like 3 hours and 20 something minutes. I said, seems like a pretty long flight. How come no first class? And he said, Mike August said nothing. West of the Mississippi. And then Mike, who was in the car said, I was just kidding. I said that like three years ago. I said, well, okay. Evidently first time it's come up though with us, Matt. Right.

[Dave Damashek]

Booking your flights for a couple years now.

[Adam Carolla]

You've never brought it up before, but I feel like we do have a first class conversation on most our things. Yeah, yeah, I always have. Why not the three hour plus flight you say, hey boss, want to go first class? Use up a few miles.

[Dave Damashek]

You know, I was going by Mississippi rule, which apparently doesn't exist.

[Adam Carolla]

How come you never check the Mississippi rule with me though?

[Dave Damashek]

I mean we've gone over flight times

[Adam Carolla]

all the time in the past and that's the point. I go, give me what, like can we get in first? What do I always say? Yeah, of course.

[Dave Damashek]

Upgrade to first class.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we do it? Yeah, I mean we never had that discussion on this one. Or maybe we did.

[Dave Damashek]

I know that I ran all the flights for you like we have for every trip I make the chart.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Second, remember I then pulled out my priority pass select black and gold card and I said, go online and check and see if this will get me into the United lounge. And you went online?

[Dave Damashek]

Sure did.

[Adam Carolla]

On my phone. That was very impressive. And you said, what?

[Dave Damashek]

Prioritypass.com had lax listed, had United Airlines listed.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And then I said, what? This is going to be even more ironic when I show up and I

[Dave Damashek]

can't get into that pass.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dave Damashek]

Or into that club.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, was it scant 18 minutes later, I was standing in front of the nice lady. And by the way, it is gone. Whatever was in air travel, it's completely gone. Mike August was keeping a no tally. I held up the priority pass. And she said, nope, we no longer accept those. Well, we merged with Continental and they accept them. There's always some bullshit thing where it's like, first off, please don't tell me all the places that do accept them because it's making things worse.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, if you were in Vegas, it'd be no problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

If you'd only gotten here 10 minutes before we could have let you in.

[Adam Carolla]

She mentioned that Continental, after they merged, would accept them. By the way, why bother merging if you're not gonna accept it? And she's not gonna accept it, and they're gonna accept it. And then she went on to mention that it would also work in the beautiful new Alaskan Airlines lounge, but that's on the other side of the airport. So she gave me the airline and another possible lounge would accept it. And then I did what I do every time, and I said, mike August, watch this. Because my streak has never been broken. I pulled out my black American Express card and I held it up and I said, how about this, baby? Because when you get the black American Express card, it comes in a leather bound folder with a British chick stuffed into the folder. And basically it's like, if you would like to close down any department store during business hours and shop, you may do it by simply flashing this out on the sidewalk in front. I have held it says it'll tell you. Oh, it gets you into every single lounge in every airports that haven't been built yet. You can go stand on the patch of dirt where they're gonna build the lounge.

[Allison Rosen]

Not a compelling commercial card.

[Adam Carolla]

I have flashed this fucking black card at 200,000 lounges and they just go, yeah, well, I, I don't know why you're holding that up. Do you have a Home Depot card you like to hold up as well? So it's nope and nope with the. We used to. And I said, my assistant just went online and said, nope. And then I said, do you have any upgrades? And she said, nope. And I said, you know, my flight's leaving in about 25 minutes. Just sit down in there. Nope. I said, it is a cash bar in here, isn't it? That's the only time she said, yes, it's a cash bar. It's a cafeteria cash bar. Literally. The point is this a tentative, yeah, yeah, I'm flying your airline. Yes, I have a card or two that you used to accept. What happened to that part of life where you just go, just go sit down. She actually asked me when my flight was leaving and it was about 35 minutes from there, which would give me all of nine minutes to sit in their lounge. Where's that part where they go, eh, Sit down.

[Allison Rosen]

It's gone.

[Adam Carolla]

It's completely and utterly gone. So, Matt, when I told you the priority pass would not work in the

[Dave Damashek]

car, you called it.

[Adam Carolla]

You say that it works for Kelson, though, right? My buddy Daniel Kelson. The only thing that makes this story worse is Danny Two Sheets. Whenever I see him and he flies all the time, I go, what the fuck? I have this fucking black card. I got this fucking priority pass. And every time he goes, I use it every time. It works every time. And I go, yeah, yeah, every time. Unless you're at LAX and you're at United. Just used it at lax. Just used it at. You know. That's the part that makes it 10 times worse for me. And I'll go, listen, two weeks ago, I went through laa. I did it yesterday. It's like, God damn it. That's the part that makes it fucking.

[Allison Rosen]

It's as bad as her guys traveled together.

[Adam Carolla]

A plane would fall out of the sky, like, I don't know. Because his fucking lounge mojo is he's 1000%. And I'm shooting at about. By the way, with my first class tickets, my priority pass card, my gold card and my fucking black AMEX card. I'm shooting about 14% on these things. It's fucking impossible. And yet every time I talk to him, no problemo.

[Allison Rosen]

Now, Fondelier in bowlfuls. How much diarrhea did this give you?

[Dave Damashek]

You know, before the show started, Adam

[Adam Carolla]

said, matt, get ready. You're gonna be on the microphone.

[Dave Damashek]

I've done three bathroom runs just in that time alone.

[Adam Carolla]

Good man. All right, well, don't worry.

[Allison Rosen]

Thanks for the info.

[Adam Carolla]

I have much more to complain about. Speaking of the bathroom. So we hit all the barbecue places. We went to Market.

[Brian Bishop]

You got some for lunch.

[Adam Carolla]

Went to Market City. No, I didn't get any for lunch

[Allison Rosen]

because he had just eaten.

[Adam Carolla]

No, actually, we ran into. Yeah, well, that's a different story. We ran into a little problem, but we went to Market City, which is in Lullig.

[Caller/Listener]

Lull.

[Adam Carolla]

Lol, something. So it's one of those places. It's a town where you sound drunk if you try to pronounce it. Like if a cop pulls you over. No, not Lubbock, just Lulu. Like. Oh, yeah. It's where.

[Allison Rosen]

It's unclear how many syllables the name is.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Went there. Also went to barbecue station. But had this. Had this moment out of a movie, which is been eating quite a bit of barbecue and had the room up on the ninth floor and nice. Got like the suite. But the problem with the suite in a big hotel is it's always at the end of a hall the length of a football field. It's cool. You get the end. It's like you get the corner office, but your Corner office is 100 yards from the elevator. It's the catch 22, which is you want the cool room, you don't want to be next to the elevator. You want the cool room, you don't want to be in the middle, so you have to go to the end. But when you go to one of these big places like MGM grand or something, that is a fucking endless hallway of carpet that you go down.

[Brian Bishop]

Great. A corner suite.

[Adam Carolla]

So it was one of these things where I kind of had to use the bathroom and I had a little purpose in my step.

[Allison Rosen]

Did you have fear in your step?

[Adam Carolla]

Just purpose. At this point. Fear was to set in moments later. I had the magnetic card, which we've all agreed again, we're all just guinea pigs in this thing called Skype. And 3D and magnetic cards to get you in. They'll perfect it for our children can enjoy a world where Skype works and where magnetic credit cards work on your hotel room. But not us. We're all fucking part of the guinea pig. We're like black enlisted men in the 40s. They're just fucking experimenting on us. And I'd been in and out of the room a couple of times, but this time, no can do with the card at the end of the hall. And by the way, that's a cold sweat, by the way. Yes, I had flipped the switch on the Take a Shit timer. It'd been flipped.

[Brian Bishop]

Somehow your sphincter knows. Like, when you're within a certain proximity to the toilet bowl. It's like.

[Dave Damashek]

It knows.

[Adam Carolla]

There's an element of. You're underwater. You're at the deep end. You're down deep. And there's that thing where you're holding your breath. You're holding your breath, and then you start to come up. And as you come up and you see the surface, and as you start, you go. You go, okay, I have another second and a half. But if someone stopped you, if there was a piece of glass there right at the top and you had to stop, you would drown. Not so much because you can't hold your breath any longer, but because you decided I was moments from daylight.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, your body's anticipating the breath, yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So I go, God damn. So I try to like 19 times, you know, it's like, why I just used a card. It's not working. It's not working. I get in the elevator, I hustle down to the elevator. I get to the. I'm on the ninth floor. All I want is that straight shot down to the first floor to go get my fucking key and then hustle back up to the endless hallway. Out of a movie. Hit the first floor, hit the lobby. By the way, can we please just agree on lobby or first floor as a designation? Because it makes a difference. There's the mezzanine, the lobby, and if you go from hotel to hotel, last hotel there was an L for lobby. This first floor, sometimes first floor is the floor above the lobby or whatever. Just fucking, let's just designate something, can we?

[Brian Bishop]

People in Vegas, it's worse because it has first floor, then casino, then mezzanine, then pool. They're all on different floors.

[Adam Carolla]

Just, let's just.

[Allison Rosen]

She's a crapper floor.

[Adam Carolla]

As we've talked about. We were close to having that on the floor as we talked about. Let's just do some sort of universal green mark that says this is check in and check out. Like here's where the guy is, this is where the desk is. Casino, pool, workout room, you're on your own. This is. You want to go talk to someone who's standing behind something that looks like a computer screen. That's the green thing you push. We do that in every hotel. Save ourselves a bunch of time. I'm on the ninth floor, I push one as fast as I can. I go down one floor to the eighth, the doors open and two kids who look like they central casting from bullies, but like six year old bullies. You know what six year old mischievous. Yeah, six year old bullies look like. It's funny because there's the fat 13 year old bully. But this is like the 6 year old bully. One has a white kids, one has a star shaved into the side of his head. A large star shaved into the side of his head. Door opens, both of them grab one of them. They're twins evidently. Both of a star shaved in the side. They're blonde headed. They're like, you know those little five and a half, six year old white kids that almost seem like adults. Like hey mister.

[Allison Rosen]

You know both of them, sometimes they have a mullet.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold. Yes. One side of the door and they just hold it. They both just hold it. And I just, I'm looking at him And I said, at first, I just stood there for a moment thinking, all right, Dad's going to come around the corner with the Samsonite in tow. No, dad just holding it, just holding it, both of them holding it. And I go, what's going on? We're holding this. Who's coming? Dad's coming. I said, where is he? Well, he's evidently, he's like still in the room. Like, these kids are on fucking ironically.

[Brian Bishop]

He's taking a crap.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, these kids are fucking trained, by the way. Like, there's no way my twins would do this shit for me. I don't hear anything or see anything. There's nothing coming. I mean, these kids are like, you know, they're just doing kid math. Like, dad said, go wait by the elevator. And then like the next time it comes and they're both pinned up against, one's holding the right door, the other's holding the left door pushed up while it's in its pocket, just leaning there going, we were waiting for dad. And I'm like, this is a fucking. This is out of a movie, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody. The shit gods decided that my key couldn't work. And then two fucking white trash kids with a star, the Texas star shaved in the head are gonna pinch the doors open. Like my ass cheeks were flying open at this time. And I was like, at least, I mean, to be fair to them, I said, look, if your dad's not coming, you gotta let the door go. And they're like, okay, mister. And they just let it go. And I just went back, went back down and got my key card and hustled the hell back up the. Back up the room. But it was a weird thing. Like, when has two kids ever pinned both doors open with stars in their head? With stars in their head. For someone who never materialized, I feel

[Allison Rosen]

like their dad left their mom ages ago and isn't even in the state anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, Daddy's coming, I promise. Dear God, I gotta tell you this. Somebody tweeted me something today and I thought it was very profound and I'm gonna modify it a little bit, but it was something to the extent of 25 year old security guards will do nothing for you. And 50 year old security guards will never stop doing things for you. And I've noticed that as I travel from theater to theater. And then I realized, oh yeah, we've ruined all the 25 year olds. And they're all narcissistic pieces of shit. And least helpful person in the world, 30 year old security guard. I made him 25, most helpful 50 year old security guard. And that's from Dan the Dodge. Yeah, and it's so true. And so here we are, we're in. Oh, shit. Where the hell did I say I was?

[Brian Bishop]

San Antonio.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, San Antonio. I have El Paso stuck in my head for some reason. We're in San Antonio and the flight's delayed a few minutes and Mike August and I go to a sports bar in the airport in San Antonio and they are pumping in the fucking house music as per usual. I took a picture of it. It's called Girvan's. Yes, as in George Gervin, the Iceman. And this is just pumped in. And I'm sitting in the back underneath the speaker. And to make it worse, what's on all the television sets is nascar. And there's a whole bunch of white dudes, average age 53, staring up at the NASCAR with this shit pumped in. And not only that, it's this and it's like the full electronic shit. And so I said what I always say now, Mike. And our travels have actually had them. Go. Have to go turn it off. Like, go turn it down. Like we're trying to fucking talk and. Or watch a game and nobody wants to hear this. And do you see anybody dancing and do you see anybody under the age of 45 and this fucking establishment? And the guy who works there is like 24. He's got the two earrings, he's got the tats that mean nothing, going up and down both arms, and he's got the sort of Mohawk but under his cap. They probably told me I had to wear a cap. And so I said, what's with this music? Why is it. Why is it in sports bars? Like, I. I understand, okay. Played at a rave. Played. Oh, fine, fine. Played at a young woman's clothing store. You're trying to establish some kind of attitude or, you know, ambiance or something like that. Why at a sports bar in San Antonio, we were sitting.

[Brian Bishop]

Named after George the Iceman Girvan.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We were sitting in Detroit alone in a sports bar in the middle of the deserted Detroit. And this was pumped in as well. And then we went to the Detroit airport alone, and we sat in a bar. And this was being pumped in. Why the sport if it's a fucking infiltrated, Are you gonna pump it into the fucking AIDS hospice? Like, what's next? So I said, look around. There's just people spitting on each other because they're trying to talk, because this is too loud and we're watching NASCAR. And the average age 52. And nobody's dancing and no one wants to hear this. And the guy's like, yeah, well, we could place, I think musical change. It just changes. It keeps changing. And then there's the world's most drunken obnoxious chick in front of me. And she goes, well, what do you want him to play? As if there's no other. Like, oh, you got me, sister. You're right. There's nothing but fucking electronic music.

[Brian Bishop]

A lot of bullets in this gun

[Adam Carolla]

for 15 year olds who are rolling with pacifiers in their mouth. I said, I don't know. Classic rock, fucking smooth jazz, classical, I don't care. Just anything but this music, which isn't meant for this group, you know? And she's like, she. She's so drunk, she goes, what do you want him? She repeats herself. And then she starts bugging the shit out of Mike. And then she's trying to take pictures with me and it's fucking disaster. So I say to the guy, all right, after about six of these songs, since we got time to kill, and we're sitting in this fucking bar after about six of these things, I go, listen, the music's not. I mean, technically the songs are changing. They're just going from one Fergie song to the next, but it's not changing. We've not hit any Gatlin Brothers, if that's what you're asking, or Molly Hatchet at this point. And he's like, yeah, but at no point. And I complained. I had a couple of beers, I was pretty fucking tired. And I had an asshole of sitting under this fucking speaker. I was trying to talk to someone on a cell phone and it was like this was pumped in. I said, can you turn it down? How about you turn it down? And this guy just. Just fucking just stood there like his whole thing was like. It was like I walked into his apartment and just told him what to do with his fucking stereo. Like, never moved, never turned it down. There was never any like. Like there wasn't. Here's what's going on. There wasn't an explanation of, hey man, I don't like it anymore and you do, but the fucking boss does and what can you do? And yes, I. I have turned it down before. And he yelled at me, so I'm sorry, I can't do it.

[Allison Rosen]

Which should be the obvious go to if he doesn't want to do it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the whole thing about the new breed of $8 an hour fucking brain dead dicks. We have in our society. There's no answer. They're just standing there. They just stand there and, like, look at you. And it's been. I guess this music has fucking destroyed his brain. It's like eating away his frontal lobe. But there's no. I can't turn it down. Like, you know what would be. I'll tell you what would be satisfying. Fuck you. Anything other than, I will just like, he came back, like, 20 minutes later. You need another Sam Adams. But it's not like there's no acknowledgement of. I'm like, what is with this music? Yeah, I don't know. You know what I'm talking about. Like, I feel like in the past, we either have a guy who'd take a swing at you, or he'd turn it down, or you'd give him 20 bucks and he'd turn it down and you'd get a hand job or something. Now it's just the fucking same tattooed, earringed kind of five ethnicities mixed in together.

[Allison Rosen]

It's avoidant culture.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Or is it ignorance? Is it fear? Is it avoiding? What do you think it is that they're not acknowledging what you're saying?

[Adam Carolla]

I think there's a new culture which is made up of a Different cultures that don't communicate quite as well. I've worked with a million of these dudes who just. They don't really talk. They're not, you know, Jews are gabby, put it to you that way. Hungarians like to weave a tail. But there's this new kind of mixed ethnicity where they don't really talk. And maybe part of it is they're not real confident. I don't think there's an education problem, so they don't feel real confident in their vocabulary. So they don't want to engage. Also, I think they grew up staring at video games and not looking at people and conversing and exchanging ideas, and they just sort of sat around, you know, those kind of, like, dudes where you go like, hey, what's up? You know, like, you just, like, they. There's nothing. Yes. I used to work construction with these guys. So they don't engage. They don't fully. I don't know if they're fully where they are. Like, I think they just walk around with headphones on most of the time, and it pumps music. And they're not. They're never quite where. Think about it this way. All right, turn on. I'm gonna kill myself. When you're engrossed, enthralled in something, in a Video game. You're never quite where you are. You may be in your shitty apartment, but you're not really in your shitty apartment. You're on some battleship somewhere or you're fighting aliens somewhere. That's the whole point of the video game. Get me out of this shitty apartment. You see people walking around with their headphones on. It's so weird. It's like you see these pictures. There's Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian and Lamar's wearing full blown headphones like they're walking together when you do. Yeah, and I mean he's wearing. It's one thing to have the one earbud in like you're on the cell phone. He's wearing like aviation style. I mean fucking full blown Dr. Dre. I mean like cardiomuffs, like teacups on both ears kind of things. Like we're walk, we're hanging out together, but we're not really conversing or something. Everyone should get run over by the way for doing this. But so there's a new young breed of not really engaged or connected and don't know what you're talking about. And furthermore, don't really, don't really care. Oh, sorry, there's Lamar. She's pretending to listen. The point is I brought up the shitty music to him like five times and his answer was eh, like please finish and go, please go away. That was his whole thing.

[Brian Bishop]

You're right about the video game thing. Add to that, I think the texting and the instant messaging on the computer has negatively impacted people's ability to have a normal conversation. Talking, give and take. Because when you do that, you have the time to think what you're going

[Candice Bailey]

to say when it's time to scale your business.

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[Brian Bishop]

Craft it, type it, whatever. There's no immediacy to responding. Whereas when you talk to someone and they're like, you know, you say, can you turn the music down?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's just, there's no.

[Dave Damashek]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Also I think there's a reality disconnect. Like I could blink my eyes and you could be gone. Like maybe your hologram or something or an avatar like you, you don't really Fully exist. It makes it easier to shoot people and it makes it easier not to turn the fucking stereo down. Anyway, the Capra was leaving San Antonio this morning and like early this morning, like about 7am and there was a Einstein Bagels inside of the hotel we're staying at. And about 7:15 Sunday morning. And I popped in to grab a coffee, the line was too long and I just said screw it. Jumped in the cab with Mike August. But when I popped into the Einstein, guess what music was pumping at the Einstein?

[Allison Rosen]

Classical.

[Adam Carolla]

Nope. Same fucking dance shit. And I just want to know what.

[Allison Rosen]

Has there been a story that makes people part with their money faster?

[Adam Carolla]

No, you know what it is? I was talking. I was talking, I was yelling at Mike August all the way to the airport about this, which is we decided to build our society around 13 year olds and 13 year old girls. For some reason they became the demographic. Not 25 year old women, 13 year olds. Like every fucking piece of apparel, every store, everything that you look at has to have some bling and shine at you, wink at you like a bass. And all the music, it's not skewing young, it's skewing prepubescent now. Yeah. Like it's tweener vel. And so somebody took this thing and said every advertiser, it's driven by like Madison Avenue. Like this is the key demographic. Everyone wants this young demographic. Everyone wants Justin Bieber's demographic. Everyone wants it. So what we did is, okay, that's fine if you run a place that sells bedazzled covers for your iPhones, but not sports bars in fucking San Antonio. We just took this logic and just shoved it into everywhere. That's what's happened. So it's in the fucking bagel shop at the hotel and it's in the sports bar at the airport.

[Brian Bishop]

I can't speak for the bagel shop, but for the sports bar, I'll bet you anything it's the hot servers who ask for it, who like it because they gotta listen to it all day long. And they're the ones who probably will raise hell to the manager if what's this music?

[Adam Carolla]

But it's a sports bar in San Antonio showing nascar. It is like if you were shooting a movie and there are two guys sitting at a sports car with NASCAR sports bar with the NASCAR going on behind them, and you put this music into it, Whoever was editing the movie would be fired. Like they'd be like, wait a minute, you got the wrong. You got the wrong soundtrack for the San Antonio Spring sports bar. This is not. This is confusing. I can't watch this. It doesn't make sense to me. Anyway, it's the third sports bar now in a row. And again, we're not talking about San Francisco and we're not talking about Portland. We're talking about San Antonio and Detroit where I've had to say, could you turn this fucking shit down? I'd rather just watch the TV with the sound down than listen as. As far fucking grating annoying music in

[Allison Rosen]

fewer than 50 years. Wall be chicks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All righty then. What the hell time is it? Jesus, I can complain like a motherfucker. Jon Lovitz Theater Coming up, by the way, this Saturday, July 21st, I'm gonna be doing some stand up in Buffalo. Saturday, the July 28, University of Buffalo center for Performing Arts. And let's see. Ah evening with Dennis Prager. Tampa and Orlando coming up on August. Toward the end of August, he had good nights with Dennis Prager. Smart guy, lot of wisdom, and he likes the sound of his own voice even more than I do.

[Allison Rosen]

How is that even possible?

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I say. Thank you.

[Allison Rosen]

You're welcome.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Allison Rosen]

I didn't mean to say that out loud.

[Adam Carolla]

Really. Thank you. No, I mean, the shows are two hours and I got to go.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you struggle to get a word in?

[Adam Carolla]

We both struggle to get words in. Yes. It's a long fight for a word. But you can listen to the ones we've done, which are up on itunes if you'd like to check those out. And the new ones coming soon, we just got to edit them down and get them in order for you. Calling from Fiji. Wow. Let's talk to young Ron. Ron, Hello.

[Caller/Listener]

Ace man.

[Adam Carolla]

How are you? Ron? What's going on? Good, you're calling from Fiji.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, yeah, I follow you over here. I've been following your career from Loveline days and I download your podcast in Fiji.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Caller/Listener]

So just wanted to inform you that you have an international audience here, not just domestic.

[Adam Carolla]

Why do you choose to live in Fiji?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I was born here and we migrated with my parents, with my family to the US and I grew up in the US. I was in LA since I was 10 years old and I graduated and everything else. Got my education in the US and basically I got into a real problem with the law regarding taxes. My company didn't pay a little bit of taxes and I still held the green card. I didn't become a citizen. I just didn't have. I just didn't, I guess.

[Adam Carolla]

How much do you owe Uncle Sam?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, this was about 10 years ago, so I've been in Fiji for 10 years now. I owed about 1.7 million in back taxes and fines and give or take, etc.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. What do you think? What do you think it is now?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I paid it off.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you did?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, I paid it off and everything else. And I got basically what you call like a Wesley snipe sentence. And in my case, since it was a felony charge, basically I was deported back to the Fiji Islands.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. You could do worse than being deported to Fiji, right?

[Caller/Listener]

No, it's pretty cool over here, actually. I could have stayed there and fought my deportation, but I chose not to.

[Adam Carolla]

How do they work? Let me ask you this. How do they work the taxes in Fiji? Because paying shells or something. How does it work?

[Caller/Listener]

No, hard to believe, but it's not a third world country. It's almost like Hawaii, just, I would say about 10 years back in probably the political structure of the country. But it's pretty modern setting here.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you pay in taxes?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, not much, actually. There's not much of income tax in the country and it's pretty business, what we call it friendly to come over here and create a business. But due to the population being about 860,000 at the moment, I assume not much market here. But since we're close to Australia and New Zealand, we get a lot of import and export businesses and a lot of.

[Adam Carolla]

Ron, what time is it over there?

[Caller/Listener]

It's 12 o', clock, actually. 12:30 in the afternoon here.

[Adam Carolla]

Good times. Yeah. Did you have something you wanted to say, Ron, other than hi?

[Caller/Listener]

Just wanted to inform you that there are a few of my friends over here that also listen to your podcast. Thank you and enjoy you a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

I would like to crack the top five of Fijian podcasts. That's always been a dream of mine.

[Allison Rosen]

I wonder who our competition is over there.

[Adam Carolla]

Usual, usual suspects. So go ahead and spread the word all over the island. Atoll, islands. Islands. Spread the word. Peninsula. What do you think of this concept, Alison? I think you'd be down with this one. Flew Southwest a couple of times, got boarded late, got the middle seat times two and I got a wingspan like a condor. I got a lot of wing on me and I'm 16.

[Brian Bishop]

There's no reason for a cocktail.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, and do a lot of dude on dude arm rubbing on those Southwest flights. And it's a little weird to feel the hairy other. The dude's hairy forearm on your hairy forearm. It's something kind of Weird about the

[Allison Rosen]

hair forearm, dude, but you can't back down.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you think about this concept? I'd be hard to mandate. No one's going to go along with me, but I like it. Is it just a. I bet in Japan we could get this pushed across. When you fly those low cost airlines where you just know every flight's going to be full and someone's going to be sitting there in the middle of the. How about this? Long sleeves. Everyone wears long sleeves.

[Allison Rosen]

I thought you were gonna say you have to shave your arms, but yeah, I like long sleeves.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like that'd be a taller order, but the long sleeve. Cause I had an old man sitting next to me on the flight home today, and he had the long sleeves and he was kind of hogging the arm thing, but it was no big deal because it was banging up against his denim sleeve the whole time. The man on the flesh on flesh gets a little weird. Especially if it gets a little hot in the plane. Yeah, the hair on hair feels a little weird. All right. You like my long sleeve policy or some kind of gaiters for your arms, you know what I mean? Like they can hand them out, make you feel like a surgeon.

[Brian Bishop]

Iverson sleeve. You pull up.

[Allison Rosen]

What are the rules, though, for who gets the armrest?

[Adam Carolla]

I couldn't figure it out. The guy. I was sitting against the window, but my problem is I was sitting against the right side of the plane and I'm left handed. So my left arm. I was trying to. You know what I was doing? I was filling out stacks of those book plates. The guy sitting next to me must have been like, why is he autographing those?

[Allison Rosen]

A child's face.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. On a coaster. What is he doing? And just the stack. Three inches thick, just one after the next. So my elbow was constantly sort of. And he was. He'd claimed his wife was next to him, so he claimed both arm rests. In the name of Spain, I had my arm rest. It's unclear. If you're sitting on the aisle, you have the left armrest, and then the right's an option. If you're sitting in the middle, right or left option. And then if you're sitting against a window, you have the one that's against the window. Either way. Got the. By the way, nobody louder and a bigger pain in the ass than Mike August, who got pulled out of line at the airport at San Antonio airport today because of his toothpaste. This thing, this clear Ziploc bag, toiletry, aerosols, whatever thing. This is the most bizarrely enforced rule there is. It exists. It doesn't exist. It does exist, and then they don't enforce it. Like, there's. I've been to airports where they show the picture of the Ziploc bag and they have the thing on there, and the people in front of me have pulled all their toiletry things out, put it in the Ziploc bag, and put it in the tray, on top, top of the tray, and then I don't. I just leave my toiletry bag in my bag and sail right through and have rarely been stopped. Mike August. Mike August, he's so fucking out of it. Literally. He'd been traveling nonstop for the last three years. It was about three months ago when I made him aware of the Ziploc bag. He didn't know what I was talking about. Like, he literally.

[Brian Bishop]

What's up?

[Adam Carolla]

He had not heard of the Ziploc bag and the toiletry stuff, and he'd never been stopped for it. And I never really. But it just. From airport to airport, completely different, Varies back and forth. My baseball cap. Sometimes I walk through with the baseball cap on. Then if I walk through with the baseball cap on, the guy will tell me to take it off. One time I took it off and the guy told me to put it back on. The last time, on the way out of lax, I started to walk through it and take it off where they could feel around the rim. He said, put it through the X ray. Some sort of fucking weird protocol that cannot be. It cannot be adopted by all airports, which is fucking nuts. Like, just take the Ziploc bag, for instance. That's been around for about five years. It is very loosely enforced, and then doesn't exist in certain airports, and then strictly enforced in others. And then others, it's just catch as catch can. Like, sometimes when you go through Burbank, they enforce it, and sometimes they don't. Why?

[Allison Rosen]

What is the part of this great nation of ours.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a part of me that thinks, okay, maybe they want to keep the terrorists sort of off balance by doing something different.

[Allison Rosen]

But that's giving them way too much credit.

[Adam Carolla]

It is. It is. So Mike got sent through, by the way, his tube of toothpaste, which traveled from LAX to Houston is full of drugs. And then traveled from Houston to San Antonio, and then from San Antonio to Arizona. Got stopped on the way out of Arizona this morning. So it's the same.

[Allison Rosen]

Was it too big for the.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it wasn't too big for LAX or San Antonio. That's my point. It's too big for Arizona. Well, why? What's the difference? Why we stopping him now and stopping fuck ups. And Mike is so fucking loud. He's just like, oh, this is great. And I'm like, mike, you are going to get pepper sprayed. We were flying out of lax. They were out of containers. They had no more containers and they stopped everything. And Mike's like, container? Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

He's not subtle, right? He's not subtle about that.

[Adam Carolla]

No. And I said, mike, you're gonna get fucking pepper container. And, and, and, and then, and then of course it's nine statues just with TSA shirts just standing around. And he's like, look at them. They don't even move. Container. And I'm like, mike, you're gonna get zip tied and then you're gonna get pepper sprayed. What are you doing, buddy? Container. Look at him, look at him. Look at them. They're all just standing around like.

[Allison Rosen]

I've never seen this side of him.

[Brian Bishop]

As I recall, he always finishes it off. You believe this?

[Adam Carolla]

You believe this?

[Brian Bishop]

You believe this?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it's great. Yeah. Now he doesn't know he's being loud. I don't know what he knows. That's the whole thing. But he's literally yelling container in the middle of lax. And they're idiots because they were completely out of the containers and they wouldn't go get the pile of them.

[Allison Rosen]

Is he the guy that gets in a fight at a movie theater or does he save this just for the airport?

[Adam Carolla]

He'll say anything. Super loud in front of anybody, really, at any time. It's a gift. Especially when you're standing next to them and a sort of celebrity. That's the, that's the good part. Doug.

[Caller/Listener]

Yes. What's up, Adam?

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on? Doug?

[Caller/Listener]

Get it on, buddy.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on? You got a question?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, big question. I'm a comedian, been doing comedy about two years. And last night I watched that show or that documentary by Jamie Kennedy called Heckler.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Caller/Listener]

Talking about all the bad, terrible reviews that all these assholes give comedians and actors. And my question is, like, how do you deal with that kind of negativity? One and two. Like, I think it was David Cross that said that ultimately it really wasn't worth it sometimes. Do you think it's worth it? Like everything you do?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, here's the thing about the negativity. Negativity can. There's two sources. I mean, there's two things that you can do with the negativity and there's two forms of negativity. Look, your teacher telling you you got a D minus on your book report and you're way behind and you need to focus and study harder is negativity. That's right. She's jealous. But it's negativity that can be constructive. And there's. You know, we've all had. Like I said, I've always been lucky in that when I get the bad reviews, I get the ones that say, minus a million stars out of five stars, which doesn't mean anything because it's the. It's like someone cutting you off in the road and going, fuck you, dick. Fuck shit. Like, yeah, all right. The guy with the fucking mullet speeds off, and then he throws a Mountain Dew can at you. It's like, you don't go home and go, wow, am I a bad person? Like, that doesn't mean anything. But when somebody you respect says something to you that has some meaning, then you have to take it in. So I've always said, if you want to hurt me, give me one and a half stars or worse. Like, but don't give me minus four. That doesn't count. So there are negative reviews that you should listen to.

[Brian Bishop]

Have you seen Heckler?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I have.

[Brian Bishop]

That's sort of the whole thrust of the movie, or at least part of it is the critics have gotten so out of control, they take the opportunities to ridiculously, you know, criticize people. Like the minus a million stars. It's gotten to the point now where the critic is almost his own audience. You know what?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

He's not giving a review. He's. He's taking the chance to be mean or a creative mean or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

But like Quentin Tarantino, for instance, if you said about his last five movies, hey, man, really good, really compelling, and really interesting shit. Probably could have trimmed 15 to 22 minutes out of there and tightened it up just a bit. That would be a review that would have some negativity to it. But if Quentin wasn't insane. Should probably listen to. You know, also, there's negativity where someone says, you suck as a comedian, and you go, fuck it. I'm gonna prove them wrong. I'm gonna. I'm gonna work harder. And then there's just people talking shit on the Internet trying to get under your skin, which you shouldn't bother with. So I don't say, you know, like. Like all those people who say, listen. You don't listen to anybody. Forget about the critics. Forget about the naysayers. Forget about the haters. No, you should Listen to them. If they tell you something or you start hearing a theme in your life and it's a repeated theme, then there's a pretty good chance that's something that's going on and it's coachable and correctable. How's the standup going, Doug? Guessing not so good.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, I haven't got anything negative yet. It's doing good. I got Ontario improv on the 25th, so it's consistent. So far, so good.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, try not to suck too bad this time, huh?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, definitely not. I appreciate it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And, you know, again, now that the Internet and the Internet we've been talking about this, the Internet's just gone insane. It's become some sort of crazy nerd's paradise where everyone gets to sit. It's this weird thing where everyone gets to sit. It's like if you took the world's angriest nerd, you put him inside a gas station behind 5 inches of Lexan bulletproof glass and then had everyone from the football team pull up and ask for a Snickers bar. And he'd just like, fuck you, fat ass. I've been waiting for this fucking moment. And the guy's, like, scratching and clawing at the glass and like, fuck you. Everyone is just on the Internet telling everyone to fuck off now. It's great.

[Allison Rosen]

Here's the I.

[Adam Carolla]

The Internet is for porn people.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you know one person that does that? Because there's so much of that on the Internet, but I honestly don't know one person who writes shitty tweets to celebrities or anything like that. So who's doing it? Unless they do it secretly.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's this thing. I mean, I'm guilty of it as well. Like, I say Adam Sandler. The last five Adam Sandler movies have sucked. And I'm talking shit about Adam Sandler, I guess. You know, I think he's a talented person who does these sophomoric premises, and he's pandering to retards, and he could make a good movie if he wanted to make a good movie, and he's not really making it. Oh, here I go again. He could make a good movie. And I don't feel like he's doing it. I feel like he has $200 million in the bank and maybe more, and he should fucking do something. And so I am being a dick to Adam Sandler. I don't have anything against him. I like him.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm asking specifically, though, the Internet hatred, that kind of stuff where you just

[Adam Carolla]

get in and start typing shitty things.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know anyone who does that that I know of.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, people, everyone. The Internet has emboldened everybody. Yeah. By the way, here's part of the problem. This T H E U Delete. All right? Yeah. I can't. I can't do that. I'm no good. I. Fuck it. I try to make fun of somebody, they just make fun of my spelling. It's no good. It's not satisfying at all. All right. His daughter just came out at age 11. What? Jesus Christ. Her husband's leaving her because of cancer. Yeah. What the. There's a lot of shit.

[Allison Rosen]

The 11 year old's husband is leaving her because of cancer.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait a minute. I combined two calls. Hey, Carlos on line three. Off road racing. Yes, I would consider doing some off road racing, but I'm staying with the road courses for now. Now let's talk to people have real problems. Aaron?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Your. Your daughter at age 11 just came out to you, huh?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, it was a few days ago. She's at my sister's house right now. But she came home and she came into me. I was on the computer and she says, dad, I gotta have a talk with you. And I'm thinking in my head it was. She had a fight with some other girl or, you know, something along those lines. I didn't know anything remotely like this. Yes, maybe. Daddy, I had no idea.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't need all the possible scenarios of what she could have said, but what'd she say?

[Caller/Listener]

She said, dad, I. I like girls.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Caller/Listener]

And I said, what, honey?

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking really? Seriously? One out of every three and a half calls we have is totally fucked up. What year is it again? What's going on with that? Okay, 11 year olds coming out. I don't think anyone wants their kid to be gay. And the reason you don't want your kid to be gay is a. You think I want grandkids? And then everyone goes, oh, they can adopt, but everyone wants the grandkids. And then the second part is you don't want them to take any shit at school. And you think, oh, it's going to be a shitty life. So first that's number one. And then there's degrees. Like there are people that don't want their kids to be gay but don't really care that much. I'm absolutely 100% convinced that my grandmother would have preferred me to be gay. She tried to get me to be gay by playing soccer and wanted to like enroll me in dance and shit like that. But my Grandmother fag hag from way back. What did we come up with? The new. What did we come up. Oh, fruit fly. Yeah, that's the new politically correct term because you can't use fag hag anymore. Fruit fly from way. Her whole fucking thing in life is that she's mentioned in Harry. Hey, the gay pioneers. Like first guy to ever buttfuck another guy.

[Allison Rosen]

Did he plant a flag?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, with a raccoon skin condom. This guy was such a fucking douchebag. I such an old ass wipe, but he used to show up at my grandma's house wearing dresses and like a pearl necklace. And he was like in my grandmother's mind, by the way, biggest celebrity she knew by far. Forget about me and my TV shows.

[Brian Bishop]

She knew like Christopher Columbus.

[Adam Carolla]

She knew the oldest queer in the world. Yeah, that was him, Harry Hay. And they wrote a book and she was mentioned, they interviewed her because she was one of the pioneers. But my grandmother didn't really like gay guys. She hated this country. And so her whole thing was whatever the man doesn't like, I will like. It's so funny to me. You asshole. People out there, you have no idea. It's like my grandmother in 1963 drove a Peugeot. Why? Because it was such a reliable automobile and parts were so readily available in North Hollywood in 1963. No, Peugeot is a piece of shit. It was a piece of shit in 1963, it's a piece of shit now and you couldn't find parts for it. But she wouldn't drive a Chevy because this is what the cool people drove. And this was her. Fuck you to the man.

[Brian Bishop]

You think your grandma was the first hipster?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, she hated everything.

[Brian Bishop]

It was popular.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like cool people drive like SOBs now. SOBs do nothing. They're not fast, they're not economical, they're not cheap, they're not anything. All they are is different. All you can do is go, hey, look at me, I'm different. That was her and her Peugeot. That was her and her like communism, that was her and her Harry Hayes. She just basically went telling me she literally smoked these cigarettes that were different colors because they were from France and stuff. Do you realize how difficult it is to get cigarettes from the specialty import place in a car where you have to spend a year to get a fuel filter because it's on backorder and it's coming in from Toulouse and all. What the fuck? She loved Harry Hay for that reason. Anyway, I don't wish it upon any parent, but at 11 and like I Said my grandmother would have been cool with it. I think she would have liked it. I think my mom would have been. My family would have been a great family to be gay and come out to. Maybe there's time. Maybe I should. And they would. I think my grandfather, my step grandfather may not have been thrilled about it, but Grandma would have looked at it as a feather in her cap. And dad would have went, huh? My mom would have just said, you can't judge. And that would have been the end of that. Now, Aaron, over here. Let's see if his phone is cleared up at all. Aaron?

[Caller/Listener]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think this is better at age 11 than it is at age 15 and a half. Like, I feel like, especially with what's going on in our society today, there's a lot of messages being sent that are pretty weird and confusing. And I'm not so sure that she's gonna end up driving a Subaru Outback and living with a chick. Do you know what I'm saying? It's a little weird news. And you also have to try to figure out, as I used to say on Loveline all the time, whenever somebody would come out to their dad, it meant something. And it wasn't just because they were being truthful. It was a way to sort of settle dad's hash.

[Allison Rosen]

Because at 11, that's the case as well.

[Adam Carolla]

Could be. I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

You don't really like anybody.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, that was my first. My first reaction was, 11 is so young. But I started having crushes on people at like six.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Look at me and Bobby Darin. I love that guy. Hey, thank you, Aaron. Are you depressed? Are you freaked out? What's your wife say?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I'm actually a single dad. He passed about four years ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, well, that's. Listen, when there's crazy trauma like that for a daughter or son, I mean, when you're talking about being six or seven years old and mama dying in a car crash, that's crazy trauma. And thus everything that comes after that can fall under the umbrella of that trauma, at least be attributed to this. And I'm not saying maybe she is lesbian. And it's not a bad thing if it ends up being that way. I'm just saying everything is taken with a grain of salt now because of this horrific trauma that she suffered a few years ago. Yes, Aaron.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, well, I understand. Well, I guess my question would be, you know, following that would be, now there's.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, how do I go about. Smell something weird? Yeah.

[Caller/Listener]

Telling her you Know, how is she supposed to feel about it? I mean, dating wise.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, listen, here's the whole thing. I honestly think she was. I don't know if you're paying enough attention to her, because I think she was trying to get a rise out of you. Trying? Maybe daddy spent a little too much time working on the computer or something.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, that's my job. On the computer.

[Allison Rosen]

Or could he be dating anyone?

[Adam Carolla]

Is there something going on where she felt like she needed Daddy's attention and she's not getting enough of it?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, on the weekends, I have her go to my sister's house. I mean, she's here all the time. Besides that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, listen, listen, Aaron, I'm sorry for your loss. And as far as this goes, just. You don't have to bring it up. You don't have to get into it. You don't have to start planning it out. Just leave it be. Just leave it be and see where it goes. And listen, seriously, possible bullet dodged. I'll tell you a couple things. First off, I think there's a difference with the lesbian versus the gay. I think most dads would be much cooler with the daughter being lesbian than the son being gay. I know that may not sound fantabulous, but that's the way it is. No father wants to picture her daughter, his daughter, having sex with another dude. So you've essentially eliminated that part of it. Plus, with all this crazy HPV and the cervical cancer and all that kind of stuff, you may have dodged that bullet as well. Plus, who knows, maybe she gets a hot 16 year old girlfriend. Door's ajar. You come upstairs.

[Allison Rosen]

I wondered how long it was gonna take for us to get to that surprise. We waited this long.

[Adam Carolla]

Happy spin on this thing. All right, last. Last call. Dina.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Your husband is leaving you because you have cancer.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, he doesn't want to deal with it.

[Adam Carolla]

Really.

[Caller/Listener]

And I. I've actually beat the cancer and I'm currently cancer free. But the side effects of the chemo. He doesn't want to deal with it because he doesn't think that, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, wait a minute, Dina. If I was to speak to him and say, why are you leaving Your wife of 13 years, Dina, how long have you guys been married?

[Caller/Listener]

We've been married for 10 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. Don't ever correct me on there. Your wife of 10 years, Dina, do you think he'd say, well, it's because of this whole cancer thing and I'm not a big fan of the chemo?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, he will say that. I'M sick all the time, and he doesn't know how to deal with it. But I actually went through the chemo very well, so.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? So you're doing all right? I'm saying, I bet he would give an answer that was different than, she has cancer, especially to the new chick he's trying to screw. What else is. Something else is going on here? Because if you.

[Caller/Listener]

That's what I'm thinking.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm thinking, yeah, if you came through it and you're doing okay. And this obviously, you know, went Brian. When Brian was going through and is still going through what he's going through, you know, his wife stepped up, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. And, Dina, I mean, I think maybe you're better off because some people at some point just want out, and he. That may be his thing. He's like, I've been in this too long. I don't feel the same way about my wife, and that sucks, but maybe you're better off not being around that.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think it's the cancer, though.

[Brian Bishop]

I really don't think they've exacerbated what was already, you know.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, it might be the side effects, but you know, what side effects? I work every day, and I worked the entire time through chemo.

[Brian Bishop]

What side effects are you, like, gaining a lot of weight or losing?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, because I'm doing the rituxin treatments now, and, yeah, I gained some weight, and they told me that, you know, once the rituxin is over, I will lose all that weight again. And.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, listen, Dina, Dina, Dina, Dina. I'm just telling you from the cheap seats up here, I think we're all on the same page on this one. I don't think he's leaving you because of your cancer medication, chemo, beating cancer, or the side effects that are included and all that. He's leaving you because he wants to leave you. Now he's using this as an excuse, and there's an issue. And so if you'd like to. To try to repair this relationship, my advice would be try to get at the root of the problem versus you're leaving me because I have cancer? Because that's not it. I just don't think that's it.

[Caller/Listener]

Could it be the eight beers he drinks every night?

[Adam Carolla]

That could be it. Just 8?

[Caller/Listener]

8 to 12.

[Brian Bishop]

It's an average.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the thing is, you go nine beers because that's a six pack and a half. Otherwise, you're left with an odd number of beers. Now you got to drink 10 beers to follow.

[Caller/Listener]

But then he said, he said that he started drinking the beers because he was worried that I was going to be sick.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, bullshit.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but listen, Dina, this guy doesn't sound like a delight. Does he work around metal? What's he do?

[Caller/Listener]

He works around aluminum and metal and he does shipping.

[Brian Bishop]

Good stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

And what kind of aluminum and metal? What's he do with shipping? Oh, you mean ship, like ship building.

[Caller/Listener]

He ships construction stuff and signs.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, all right. He works around metal. All right. He's a moron. Good riddance.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you guys have mutual friends? Like couple friends and stuff?

[Caller/Listener]

I assume we do.

[Brian Bishop]

He's gonna be like a pariah amongst your group of friends.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, especially when you put this spin on it and all your friends are

[Brian Bishop]

gonna want to set you up. This is a good thing for you.

[Adam Carolla]

You're fine, Dina, you don't need this guy. Didn't work out. He's an ass wipe. He's an alcoholic, works around metal. You don't need him anymore. All right, where the hell. Where the hell are we? Okay, we have. Oh, we have half our comedy duo here, but I think it's about time to take a break anyway. You know what, Let me give a little love to one of our sponsors. Tune in radio, everybody. Over 70, 70,000 stations, including traditional radio stations, Internet only stations, plus over 2 million on demand programs including the U.S. oh no, wait, I'm not reading that right. Ooh, us. I love that festival. Oh yes, our podcast. Awesome. Tune in and you can hear our podcast. Well, if you're listening to our podcast, you're already getting our podcast. But tell a friend, baby, that's what I'm talking about. Lets you listen to what's going on around the world right now. Paris, London, Brazil, possibly Fiji. Who knows?

[Dave Damashek]

Probably.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably. That's right. Available on every smartphone, hundreds of other devices and you can connect to cars, your ford, your BMW Mini, by the way, not your 68 Ford Galaxy Jack Off. I'm talking about, you know, newer Fords, BMWs, Mini Coopers, that kind of stuff. TuneIn.com. go to Tune. By the way, go to itunes and you can, you can hear us or you go to Tunein for everything else. That's right, anything you like. It's all there, absolutely free. Just search, tune in on your phone's app and there you go. Go to the app Store and search Tunein. Download the free app and start listening. Tunein. Free, baby. How bad could it be? It's free. Alright, let's take ourselves a little break. Allison Rosen is your new best friend by the Way available now on our app and itunes. And tunein, actually, and Tunein. And today's guest, Bobcat Goldthwait, who I wanted to see when I was in Arizona because he was playing at the. Whatever, Phoenix.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, not that I'm tracking where

[Adam Carolla]

he is or anything, wherever he was. Anyway, Also, live show August 9th at Nerdmelt with Pete Holmes. And you can't go wrong with Pete Holmes. Alisonrosen.com for tickets and information. And of course, my book, not Taco Bell material. Grab that baby selling well. Keep it going. And sorry to say, if you get the book, you got to get the audiobook, because it's different. We'll take a quick break. We'll be back right after this. It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[Caller/Listener]

Adam, I'm sick of you not putting me on the fucking radio. And my old lady won't let me stick in her ass. I'm getting really irritated. If you have any suggestions. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. That velvet tongue scoundrel. I can't believe this old lady's not going for the back door action. Hey, lube up

[Brian Bishop]

or don't. See if I care.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Steve Byrne is here. TV show Sullivan and Son premieres this Thursday, July 19, 10pm on TV BS. Good to see you, Steve.

[Steve Byrne]

Thanks for having me. Appreciate it.

[Adam Carolla]

My. My pleasure. Steve was in. Oh, let's see. Couples retreat, Four Christmases. I like Four Christmases. By the way, I found it. I don't know, it got a little underrated or something. I can't figure. I can't quite figure it out, but I enjoyed that movie. Half Irish and half Korean.

[Steve Byrne]

And by the way, I am in those movies. If you go to the DVD bonus feature, scroll down, wait two seconds, you'll see me for a second, then I'm gone.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know you. What the hell? Let's pad it. Half Korean, half Irish. Good mix from Pittsburgh. What do we need? Let me say this about the Koreans spirit, and I hope you're taking spirit, which is intended, toughest, meanest people on the planet.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Why are they so tough?

[Dave Damashek]

They're hardened people.

[Adam Carolla]

They're hardened.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah. And I will say this, they are the Irish of the Asians. I mean, they can throw fighting, drinking, they got tempers. They like the booze, they like whiskey.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. They're fucking rowdy and tough.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah. And I think they're gonna get angrier now knowing that every taekwondo and every strip mall is gonna be out of business now that UFC is so popular.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So, yeah, that's what they had to fall back on.

[Steve Byrne]

A little more fuel to the fire.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's interesting because Dr. Drew would always tell me that Asians had the enzyme where they couldn't really drink, but they could drink through it. If you were really committed to booze, you could push through that sort of enzyme. You had that. And I don't know if it was every Asian culture or not or nationality, but there's an enzyme that you'd get flushed and you couldn't.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Asian flu is what it's called, and you'd push right through it. Now, do you think the Koreans have just broken the back of Johnnie Walker?

[Steve Byrne]

I think they broke the code. They broke the. They figured out I have cousins that get blotchy.

[Adam Carolla]

They get blotchy when they drink.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But they push through.

[Steve Byrne]

They push through. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Good.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah. A little skin damage ain't gonna ruin Tijuana.

[Adam Carolla]

And from Pittsburgh. Yes.

[Steve Byrne]

I was born in Jersey. I grew up in Pittsburgh.

[Adam Carolla]

What do we need to know? I feel like Pittsburgh's one of those places that's quietly. A lot nicer than people think.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah. Cause I think people still think. There's still people that think it's smoggy and overcast and the steel mills and that was, like, in the field 50s and 40s. And that's all done now. There's a lot of major corporations based out there. It's a great city.

[Adam Carolla]

It's one of these things.

[Dave Damashek]

It's like a nice.

[Steve Byrne]

Cleveland.

[Adam Carolla]

I was gonna say it was sort of like, in 1982, Detroit and Pittsburgh and Cleveland were, like, all kind of in the same place. And then Pittsburgh went, you know what? I'm taking the high road. Like, I'm not gonna join your gang and drop out of high school. I'm gonna get my education and make something of myself.

[Brian Bishop]

Pittsburgh was the Diana Ross of the three.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. She took off and had a solo career.

[Steve Byrne]

Pittsburgh got on Facebook when Cleveland and Detroit were like, you know we're going to stick with this MySpace thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Steve Byrne]

All right, guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. And they just took off. It's a beautiful city. Although I do, I find the Permantes a little overrated. I gotta be honest. I know that's sacrilege. And as a Korean, you want to jump across the task and kill me. I know they put the fries on the sandwich.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But I just found it to be a little overrated. Shut up, Mike. Mike lynch, did you. You ate a Permanish. With us. Didn't you?

[Dave Damashek]

No, I didn't.

[Adam Carolla]

What the fuck? What happened to you when you're eating?

[Dave Damashek]

I think I flew in late that

[Adam Carolla]

day or something like that. I don't think I was with you for that run. It's like we never sit down and eat anymore.

[Dave Damashek]

That makes us.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I gotta tell you, we just ate. We just. I just got done barbecuing and eating my way through the state of Texas, and it is insane. The first place we stopped, at the potato salad. The side of potato salad was 60 cents. I don't know when anything's ever even been cents anymore. It was 60 cents. And then the beer was a buck 50. I literally. That's a picture of the city market. I'm trying to think of where. Market City.

[Steve Byrne]

Were you sitting next to Doc Brown looking to boot. The flux capacitor?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. The back. Yeah, it was like a different time. The whole back part is like the smokehouse. Like, you go into the smoky rooms. Like a humidor. It's a humidor for carnivores. Like, you just enter this smoky palace of carnivores, there's, like, smoking. There's guys wearing the bibs, and they're old and they're grizzled, and they're working behind the thing, and there's plumes coming up. And you wait in line. You go to the back there. But in the front, I go in there. I go, okay, give me three potato salad sides, give me two side beans, and give me a Dr. Pepper, and give me an iced tea and give me a Coors Light. And she's like, that'll be $6.85. Like, what? It's really. It's weird. It's like. It's novelty. A beer was a buck fifty. Like, it's literally cheaper to drink there than buy it at the 711 and drink at home. Fucking nuts. A buck fifty for a beer? When does that even happen?

[Allison Rosen]

How much of a sandwich is.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, then you go in and buy the barbecue. Buy the pound in the next room. Yeah, City Market. That's me and Javi. Say a stocker.

[Steve Byrne]

But after you go to those places, I just need an orange or an apple, because I just go crazy with the meat. Like those Brazilian steakhouses. You flip the card over to green. I'm like, I'm gonna punish you. You charge me 40, I will punish you. And then I put it to red. I'm like, I need fruit. That's a celery stick something.

[Brian Bishop]

Plantains.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. The thing is, no matter where you are in life. I paid 39.95 for this and I now must eat $40 worth of cow. That's the math that's going to work. The most interesting man in the world is not the guy from the Dos Equis ad. It's the guy Brian and I saw at the West Hollywood or the Los Angeles Fogo de Chao. Brian and I. You know, when you do morning, the best part about morning radio is come 11 o' clock, you can eat whatever you want. Right. Because you've already pulled in a full day of work and it's almost like dinner time. Like you can go to a deli and eat a tongue sandwich with chili at like 11 in the morning. Yes. The rest of the world is eating half a grapefruit and you're fucking at Fogo de Chao. And by the way, you're the only one there at 11 in the morning. Like, you're the only human being at that point.

[Steve Byrne]

You're the first table, they're still setting up. The waitress is like, who wants this guy, right?

[Adam Carolla]

And there we were with the morning crew, all just going nuts over at the Fogo de Chao. And one dude sat alone in a suit eating the all you can eat meat place. That's almost a thing you do. And it's not even a couples move. That's a four or more. Yeah, that's like. That's a group of eight dudes going out to celebrate a promotion. I mean, that is. Somebody lost a bet and they're paying for all of us at Fogo de Chao. Or in our case, they gave us some free this or that. The single dude, the dude that's flying solo at the Foga de Chao with a fucking tie on. Who is that guy? I was dying to know the whole

[Brian Bishop]

time in my mind, he's the out of town business man. Probably European. On different clock.

[Adam Carolla]

Built the whole story around this.

[Brian Bishop]

On a different clock. He's been told the story and he had to go and he had a. His meetings were over for the day or whatever it was.

[Adam Carolla]

And he was. Yeah, he was on like Singapore yelling at him.

[Brian Bishop]

For him, it was 11:30 at night

[Allison Rosen]

and he read about it in the. In Flight magazine.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So growing up in Pittsburgh, being a half Korean, probably weren't a whole lot of people screaming at you, you need to act.

[Steve Byrne]

That I needed to act.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Do comedy, get on stage.

[Steve Byrne]

No, God, no. No, God, no. Not at all.

[Adam Carolla]

How did that work?

[Steve Byrne]

Well, I. I finished college and I went to Kent State University in Ohio and my Father had gotten transferred to New York, where he's originally from. And I walked up and down Broadway in all these comedy in all the restaurants to just get a shit job, just make some money. And then I was gonna move to California, and I walked into Caroline's Comedy Club, and I'd never been to a stamp show before. Never. You know, I like Caroline's in Ohio. No, Caroline's in New York City. After college, I went out there and.

[Adam Carolla]

Pay attention, Brian. Or actually, I'll give you an option. Don't pay attention, but don't talk. You can either one or the other.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm gonna do both. How about that?

[Steve Byrne]

But I got a job at Caroline's, and I got hired. They just fired somebody. I walked right in, I said, I'm looking for a job. The manager happened to be standing there. He said, what do you want to do? I said, I'll do anything. So I answered phones, swept floors for four months, and I said, oh, I'd like to try that. I was seeing every. Every comic in New York City.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Because everybody goes through that place.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah.

[Steve Byrne]

And it was just awesome. I loved the minute I did it. As soon as I got off stage, I just. I kind of. I wept like a baby. I was like, that's it. That's. That's what I'm doing now.

[Adam Carolla]

How does it work when you work there and you go like, hey, man, I want to get up on stage. They have open mic night or whatever. But.

[Steve Byrne]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Does your boss. Well, first off, your boss has to work with you, and then he has to deal with you bugging him to go back on stage. When you suck the first time, does he try to dissuade you? Like, you know, there's that thing where it's like. Like, if you work. If you're a dj, to strip club, you probably shouldn't be fucking the strippers because it's not gonna end up good because you're gonna piss off somebody.

[Steve Byrne]

But it is what's gonna happen.

[Adam Carolla]

It is gonna happen. It has to happen. But you probably prefer, like, the boss probably thought you were gonna suck and probably prefer that you didn't do it.

[Steve Byrne]

Well, I never performed at Caroline's until after I had left because I just. I didn't want to tell anybody.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't want anybody to know. You never got up there.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Until after.

[Steve Byrne]

Until afterwards.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Steve Byrne]

So that was. That was my thing, to just not tell anybody and keep it under wraps.

[Adam Carolla]

And then somewhere in the middle of your set, somebody spilled a drink, and they were shouting Steve, could you. And you're like, I'm a stand up now. We know, sweetie, but there's a margarita all over the place. People will bear with you. By the way, you can say something funny about cleaning it up.

[Steve Byrne]

I've cleaned toilets. I did it all. I've had every shit job you can imagine. But, yeah, I mean, then you're performing in New York City. I've had everything. I mean, I've had chairs thrown at me. I had eight staples in the back of my head.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah, I was like, at the Comic Strip, I would do like six or seven shows a night, like seven days a week. And it didn't. I just wanted to work as much as I could. And this one night at the Comic Strip, there was these, you know, kind of Jersey Shore guys, whatever, and it's midnight. They're getting up with their girlfriends. They're gonna walk out and. And they start. They keep talking during my set, and I'm like, guys, could you keep it down? They're like, whatever. You know, they call me, like, Jackie Chan or something.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm like, sure.

[Steve Byrne]

All right. Okay. Thank God. Thank God. The Lincoln Tunnel's open 24 hours. You guys have a good night. And then the girl starts getting lippy. And then I dropped the C bomb, which is never good.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Steve Byrne]

And next thing I knew, there was a. There was a bar stool that was hurled in the air. And I turned around just. Just as it was coming at me, and it just kind of.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Like Geraldo.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah, like Geraldo.

[Adam Carolla]

But you took in the back.

[Steve Byrne]

I took it in the back.

[Adam Carolla]

And they gave you the staples.

[Steve Byrne]

I got the staples.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a good story.

[Steve Byrne]

No, it wasn't. Because as a comic, then for. For the next year, every comedian is. You know, I was called the chairman.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Steve Byrne]

It was just embarrassing. You know how comics are. Just for a year, you'll get.

[Adam Carolla]

It's kind of one of those cool stories where when everyone talks about heckling and whatever, you know, like, I. I don't have any good. Like, I was at Cobbs, and this chick was a little mouthy, but she wasn't. She wasn't that bad.

[Allison Rosen]

Wait, but I've been to Comic Strip.

[Caller/Listener]

How.

[Allison Rosen]

Where were they when they threw the stool? I'm just thinking that stool traveled quite a ways, did it not?

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah, it did travel quite. Yeah. There was some. Definitely. There was some.

[Allison Rosen]

It went over some people's heads to get to you.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, there wasn't too many people at, like, 12:30 at night either. But, like, I Was in Phoenix, Arizona, one time, and I was with another comedian. We had some girls come back with us, and the girls are going to leave. We were swimming or whatever, and nothing was going to happen. So we're, you know, I'm like, I'll walk these girls out to the. To the garage. And my buddy's like, yeah, you go walk them to the garage. You. You do the gentleman thing. So I was walking them out, and then I see them in the. In the elevator. And there's like, this one dude. You have to say he was black because it's important to the story. So he's holding the doors open, and he's got, like, New Edition with him. And he's trying to get the girl's number, and she's like, I'm not gonna give you my number. And I slip on his arm, like, all right, guys, you know, Good, senior. Good, good. You know, I don't blame you for talking to her, too. She's a cute girl. I'm just gonna walk him in the garage. He wasn't listening to me at all. He just kept peppering her. You're gonna give me my number. You're gonna get me the number. You can't handle my bling. He's holding up his whatever chains.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a black man. I know.

[Steve Byrne]

She eventually goes, I'm not giving you my effing number.

[Dave Damashek]

You.

[Steve Byrne]

And then she dropped the N bomb.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Steve Byrne]

And then I just remember things got real quiet. Her one friend walked out of the elevator. He entered the elevator, she stood in the corner, and he was talking all this shit for a good five to seven minutes. I mean, the alarm was going off on the elevator because he was holding the door so long. And I just realized it's go time. So I played hockey all my life. So I did the old shirt over.

[Adam Carolla]

Pull the jersey. Pull the jersey over the sweater over his head.

[Steve Byrne]

And I just went for it ironically.

[Adam Carolla]

Never played hockey with a black guy, but the still same rules apply.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah.

[Steve Byrne]

So we just. We just went at it, and I. I got him down on the ground. I just started wailing on his head. He couldn't see anything. And he just said, chill, dog, chill, dog, chill, chill. I go, you done? He goes, chill, dog. I go, are you done? He goes, yeah, I'm done. And he got up. And I realized at that moment we had shook the elevator so much, it stopped, Right? And I remember Sarah Smiles from Hall and Oates was playing. And we. We sat there for a good three

[Adam Carolla]

or four minutes in between floors, in between Floors. Yeah. Well, that was uncomfortable.

[Steve Byrne]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

She's even being beaten by Korean, by the way. There is no shame in that. They're a fucking tough breed. And I like that. You know that. By the way, the outfit that brings back memories.

[Steve Byrne]

My own personal rush hour in an elevator in Holiday Inn in Phoenix.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what? I wish I could pull off, and I wish white people could pull off, but we can't, because I've seen a little of it and I was in Houston and saw a little of this around our neck. Well, that would be nice. Yeah. Because I'm frequently asking myself what time it is, and I don't trust my cell phone. But when you see the brother wearing the monochromatic short sleeve shirt and shorts, like dress shorts, like shorts with a crease and then the short sleeve. But it should be. It's like a formal barbecue outfit. I don't feel, I feel. See, we do suits, they do suits. But then we go cargo shorts and T shirts and they can do a formal shorts. They can do like a Cedric the

[Steve Byrne]

Entertainer in the Caribbean islands.

[Adam Carolla]

Caribbean, yeah. And they're wearing like alligator shoes and the same color socks. Yeah, you know, it's, it's like turquoise socks, turquoise shorts, turquoise shirt and a turquoise hat. And they're pulling the shit off. Or gold. There's a gold version of it.

[Allison Rosen]

I think it'd be great if you

[Adam Carolla]

want that fucking outfit. Should I try that out?

[Allison Rosen]

You should try it. That should be your new look.

[Adam Carolla]

Could be my look.

[Steve Byrne]

When white people wear that outfit, though, you just hear bingo every 10 minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the difference. Yeah, I really, I, I. And by the way, it's funny you said Rush Hour, because Chris Tucker was playing the same venue I was playing at inside of when I was in San Antonio. Yeah, in San Antonio. He was doing the same gig. And I was like, I never met Chris Tucker, but we were like, our dressing rooms were next to each other or something. Like, maybe I should say hi. And then I thought, I don't know. And then I thought, well, why. See what you do? What I do is I don't say hi because why does he want to say hi to me? And then he'll be thinking, adam Carolla could have said hi, but he didn't say hi. Adam Carolla's dick, you know? So I thought, well, maybe I should say hi. Anyway, walked out of the dressing room. There was the like 11 dude entourage. Like, I understand it if you're a prize fighter and you're making 40 million bucks a fight, and every Jackass wants a run at the champ kind of thing. I don't understand. The one, the single, the one thing you do as a comedian, you don't need any equipment or amps or techs or roadies or anything. And then rolling like literally like 12 deep. And you're not making that much on one night. By the time everyone at the theater gets paid out and all the unions and everything, you're not rolling with a ton of cash. How do you pay these dudes? Anyway, I did the thing where I walked out, there were 12 dudes in the entourage. I looked through the door, Chris Tucker was wearing an all white linen suit. And I just thought, well, I'm not disappointed. His back is to me and I'm just gonna keep walking, but at least I'm not disappointed. And that was it. But I don't know how it fucking worked.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you guys in the entourage ostensibly have a job?

[Adam Carolla]

Mike lynch, you were there. There could have been nine guys in the entourage, but there was a pile of dudes and all looking vaguely familiar. I mean, they all kind of look like Charlie Murphy and they were, you know, he's rolled about eight or ten dudes deep and they were sort of clogging up the hall. And he was wearing this crazy white pimp suit in July in San Antonio. And I don't know, it was like he was wearing the same outfit. Outfit that the Hills brothers buyer would war would wear. Juan Valdez actually wore this outfit. Aldo Celli. All right, someone find me a picture of Aldo Celli or Juan Valdez. He was one of the mythical. Aldo Celli was one of these guys from the 70s campaigns who drank such and such a wine. Or Juan Valdez, I think, had a snappy white suit as well.

[Allison Rosen]

It wasn't Riunidi, was it?

[Adam Carolla]

It was one of those things and it was like he was. It was like all the ladies would be like, he was the Spuds Mackenzie of our day, you know, oh, Aldo, you know, it's like, yeah, you want the 50 something year old sort of Italian dwarf? Yes. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

But seriously though, do you think if you ask Chris Tucker, that guy, he's like, oh, yeah, that's my fill in the blank. Like, do they all have a job description? You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

I think they do.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I was saying to Mike August, I said, how does this work? Because I'm pissed off that I have to pay Mike August and he books the thing, you know, how does this work? And I have to get everyone a room, flights you know, and he's like, oh, they all stay in the same room that much.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, I somehow doubt that very much.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. What am I supposed to say? Liar and backhand him? Like, I don't know. If they say if I was Chris Tucker, they'd all stay in the same room. I couldn't imagine getting, you know, times eight airfare, times eight hotel rooms. Maybe he. Maybe the. But the venue can't pick it up because their whole thing is whatever is whatever was coming out of our end is coming out of your end first. So if we're shelling out X amount for hotels and travel, that's coming right off the top.

[Steve Byrne]

I know a lot more of the Democrats that are comedians. If you read between a lot of the black comics, they have entourages. Like, I know Monique had one before she was on Precious. And I know, like, one girl, her job was just to get her shoes three times, fool. And another girl just did her hair. So I know that they do have entourages.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, there's Aldo.

[Steve Byrne]

The suit. Like you wear when you play. You play like Domino's in Harlem on the sidewalk.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what you would wear. That's Aldo Ciali.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. And is he charming that woman?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if that's a teenage boy. I don't know. All right, where the hell's the time gone? Should we do. We should get in one news story before. Before we call it a ramp. Let's the news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison, Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Z. It's Allison. Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

So sadly, Sylvester Stallone's son, Sage, full name Sage Moonblood Stallone, was found dead on Friday. He was 36. There's a lot of rumors and different stories swirling around this. People don't really know exactly what happened. Initially, people thought that it was suicide. But then pretty quickly they realized, no, it looks more like an accident. TMZ reported that there were a lot of prescription bottles in his house, that recently he had begun kind of living in a Howard Hughes way that, you know, he hadn't talked to people in a long time. It was really messy there. But then there are other stories. Well, his lawyer is saying that's not true. He didn't drink. He wasn't depressed. He didn't do drugs. So people don't really know. There's an autopsy underway, and the Results of that will come out in a couple months.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way. All the speculation, all the statements. Once you have these statements, toxicology reports, why even say shit, you know, I mean, just, just let them, let them do the report and then make your statement.

[Allison Rosen]

Because I think TMZ wants to report on what they found and then the lawyer wants to come out and say, that's absolutely not true. If it casts any negative light on the situation.

[Adam Carolla]

Why would you name your kid Moonblood?

[Allison Rosen]

That's the middle name.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but they went with Sage

[Allison Rosen]

for the first one.

[Steve Byrne]

Everybody has a, has that spiritual Indian phase in their lives, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking moon blood. It's weird, it's sad. Like you do, you do understand there's this weird thing where I don't think these kids ever stand a chance. Because first off, if Sly Stallone is your dad, you're gonna have your mom. And then you're gonna have a succession of stepmoms and you know, Stepford wives moving in and passing through. I mean, you're gonna have a bunch of. It's gonna be revolving door of different chicks that you're gonna have to call aunt something, right? Then he's gonna be shooting something all the time and you're gonna be living in Florida with biological mom who hates, by the way, dad and never stops talking shit about dad. But it's gonna be this weird gilded cage because you're taken care of so well, but yet you really don't have, you know. I don't know, I mean, did they live together? Do they live together? It's just one of these, it's just one of these things, you know. By the way, weirdest dude on the planet, Nick Cage's son. Oh, Cal L or something, whatever. Whoever.

[Steve Byrne]

Yes, Superman's real name in the comics. Cal El.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, perfect. Perfect, yeah. Nick Cage. I. We had the same boxing coach for a while. I met him when he was like 14 or 15. He was, he literally had a. He had an attache, like a person that was, you know, just dispatched to him, just to stand next to him and follow him around and walk. And he was a dick to that person. And he thought he could be like heavyweight champ, but he kind of sucked. But he's just, he's fucking huge behemoth of a man and he's in some sort of death metal band. I mean, when you see a picture of this guy, 14 year old kid. Well, now he's. Now when you knew him. No, then he was just a sort of 14 year old behemoth and now he's now he's this and now he's a woman. Well, based on the photo, yeah. By the way, when. Whenever I hear a band who's into, like. Well, we get out there and our guitars are shaped like chainsaws. And then we get out there and we have this mannequin that squirts blood. I'm like, same thing, Steve. You probably think when you see a comedian dragging a trunk out on stage, which is probably not that funny. Yeah, no, not the next Pearl Jam here. You know what I mean? Like, when it takes them two, three days to set up on stage with a lot of squirting blood and stuff like that, and everyone's wearing a leather sack mask and shit like that. Lots of fake chainsaws. Like, you go like, probably not just a great. Probably not. The Foo Fighters.

[Allison Rosen]

He looks a little like Khloe Kardashian,

[Steve Byrne]

by the way, what you said. I'll never attain that. I'll never be the guy that. I have the same boxing coach as Nick Cage. Like, I took classes with a teacher that taught Todd Bridges. That was here two weeks ago. That's, like, what I would get to say.

[Adam Carolla]

I like when people say this one. Same difference. Same difference. Same difference. Exact same difference. All right. Sad. We'll find out. We'll keep you posted.

[Allison Rosen]

Paterno's statue will stay outside of the stadium for now. You know, there's this question of what do they do? Do they remove the statue or do they keep it? And it's going to stay up for now, but there's a mural on Heister street, and when Paterno died, the artist put a halo around his head on the mural, and he removed the halo. Although. Yeah. He says that the halo. Michael Pallotto is his name. And he says that the halo on the mural only signifies that the person died. It's just a way to show the transience of light.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like a temporary thing. And now, by the way, needs it for Sly's kid. Right. Okay. We gotta take that halo.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, they do pass it around. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not like there's an unlimited amount of halos. Yeah, yeah. No, it's like the Stanley Cup. You don't get to keep it. You get to use it for a while and then it moves on to someone else. You know, you get one day to party with it, and then you're done. Yeah. You drink out of it and then you pass it on. People take pictures with it, which is

[Steve Byrne]

the greatest trophy in all sports, I think.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Lord.

[Steve Byrne]

Stanley, even Lombardi trophy looks like a sales trophy. The Stanley Cup. It's a real, actual trophy.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a cup. It's something you win for doing something great with a yacht. That's what it looks like. It looks like. I mean, when they had cups, right? You know, regatta. Yeah. It's not one of those shitty loose like the baseball one.

[Steve Byrne]

I don't even know. It looks like you won it when you. You're a salesman of the year. 21 century 21.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that thing looks like a. That thing looks like a tetanus shot waiting to happen, too. It just looks like. I think this looks like someone took a spike strip and put it in a circle or something. I don't know what's wrong with that. It looks like one of those things where something's gonna break off of it and get lodged in someone's eye. Yeah, Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

A blue ribbon.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Look at that thing. You can't carry that without hurting yourself. You're gonna draw blue. You're gonna need. You're gonna need staples after carrying that thing.

[Allison Rosen]

It looks like a straw dispenser, but in a good way. A blue ribbon symbolizing support for child abuse victims was painted on Paterno's jacket in the mural.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, that'll stop that. By the way, every pedophile watches. What's weird about that? All this stuff is. Well, first off, all the weird ribbons and things, you know, all the NFLers who have to wear the pink sweatbands and the pink socks for breasts. It used to be breast awareness. Like, they do one game, and now it's all the games, and now it's the whole month, and they're doing it all. And with all these little things, is it. Is it stopping autism or breast cancer? Whatever. And I know when people go, oh, it's a ribbon.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a reminder.

[Adam Carolla]

And when people go, it's a reminder of breast cancer. Like, yeah, yeah, I knew about breast cancer. It's not like I'm actively not doing it. It's not like I'm sitting somewhere and someone stands up and goes, I'm gonna do something. No, sit down. You'll do nothing about breast cancer. Out of sight, out of mind. Like, what are we doing exactly? And what's.

[Allison Rosen]

I'm just saying I feel like it's weird, and I'm sure I'm gonna offend people right now, but it's weird to add this ribbon to Paterno because right now it just seems like, what the hell did Paterno do? Not enough, obviously.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I honestly think. And let's try to break this down a little. These guys are not geniuses. They're football coaches. You know what I mean? They're geniuses at their craft of what they do. But let's not. Whether you can play the guitar, carry the rock, or coach a guy who's carrying the rock, we hold you to some sort of weird standard. Like, Slash should have known better than that because he plays such a great guitar. Like, not really. He's good at that one thing. As a matter of fact, it kind of makes you dumb in other things.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you not fault him for the way he handled this?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I do. I do. But let's first just break it down. He comes from a different place in a different era. I mean, the guy would have been, I don't know, 95 years old or 93 years old or whatever. He comes from some sort of fucking old school boys club, what have you, thing number one. Pardon the pun. So, no, I'm trying not to let him off the hook, but I am trying to explain this a little bit. We are much more evolved and much more aware. This was a weird. He comes from a. You don't tell everyone your business. You don't do this. I mean, it's a weird. Almost like the Catholic Church or something. Who I fault. Well. Or the military, whatever. Like old school. Like, it's that.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, that's that. That ethos of putting the team ahead of an individual.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. No. And look, I'm just saying Joe Paterno, probably not a genius, probably not a great intellectual mind, probably not a saint. May not have been a great person.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah, he never switched to contacts.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, he should have switched to contacts.

[Steve Byrne]

He kept those military issue tinted glasses for how many years?

[Dave Damashek]

He could have.

[Adam Carolla]

He was set in his ways. Yeah, right. He had the same Swifty Lazar glasses that turned. Turned jet black when he got outside for the last 45 years. I'm not making excuses for the guy. I'm just saying I think in our mind, Joe Paterno is a legendary football coach, leader, molder of youth and stuff. In his mind, he was probably just some fucking guy who grew up in it. Was born in, you know, 1918 and. And grew up in Poughkeepsie and fucking. He doesn't. He's not.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Doesn't know what to do with this shit.

[Allison Rosen]

He should have done rape of little boys was so. Everyone was okay with that. Well, they actually were more okay with that back then.

[Steve Byrne]

But it's weird how people.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm saying they didn't do anything back then. They were like, hey, you keep your business to your business and you handle stuff the way you handle stuff and you don't shame and you keep stuff in. I mean, look at whatever in his lifetime, women, gays, black, whatever. I mean, in the 40s, they were segregating blacks in the army. And he was 30 years old. He's from a totally different time. And I'm just saying he should have done something. But to hold him to our sort of evolved modern standard, he's an old man who probably doesn't think that he's probably not that smart. Yes. Sorry.

[Steve Byrne]

No, no. I also think it's weird how people react though, too. Like the general public's reaction of people. It's like once you win a championship, you can kind of do anything. It's weird. Yeah, Roethlisberger, there was a chance. There was a time where, you know, in between, in the summer, when he brought up on those rape charges, then it was like, we gotta get rid of this guy. You gotta get rid of this guy. Then he takes your team to Super Bowl. He's like, he's not that bad of a guy. Yeah, it's like, remember, like just a few months ago. But, you know, I don't know. There is that on play kind of like Kobe with the. With the rape stuff. And then, you know, you win a championship and.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, listen, when the guy's diddling you and he's got a Super bowl ring on that finger, that's an honor, my friend.

[Brian Bishop]

He might drop a diamond in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Who knows? Something could break off. That's right. Yeah. The reason I know Big Ben's a moron, because he almost died riding around Pittsburgh on a motorcycle with no helmet. Now, I've often said, I think you'll see these guys, like Brad Pitt will do it every once in a while. You'll see some of these guys doing it, riding around. There's this thing where you can ride around and be totally anonymous because you have a full face helmet with a shaded visor on it, and you put on a leather jacket and no one knows who you are. They think your big goofball works at the steel mill. But Big Ben is riding around. Arguably the most recognizable face in Pittsburgh is riding through the center of town with no helmet on on a crotch rocket. Which a no helmet when you have a 18 million dollar a year contract and you're 26 years old is insane. And number two isn't every human being who passes you in the Car looks, you gonna just fucking follow you home. Like, oh my God, that's Big Ben on a fucking Ninja. What the hell is going on?

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah, you're looking, you're swerving. You might cut the guy off. Just want to get a picture of him.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking insane. That, that guy. I mean, whatever. Whatever happened to his noggin? There'd already been some damage done. Just to think it'd be a good idea to get on a Ninja 1000 and ride around Pittsburgh of all places, with no fucking helmet on. And I think that was either the year after or may have been either they won the super bowl or they were coming up to the super bowl or whatever it is. But that's insane, is it not? All right, let's wrap it up, baby girl.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosenthepid cunt.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the news with Allison Rosen. I'll tell you what's clinically insane. Not using go to my PC. That's right. You have to be. You have to be certifiable. Remember those days? That guy's certifiable.

[Allison Rosen]

I tell you who's certifying them.

[Adam Carolla]

A guy with a giant butterfly net. That's who. He just. That's who certifies him. He's certifiable. You'd have to be certifiable not to use Go to my PC, brought to you by Citrix. You can use it on your laptop, your iPad, your iPhone. Boom. You can get right to your work computer. It doesn't matter where you are. Connect directly to your office. And I said Mac PC doesn't matter. Whenever, wherever you work from, wherever you want to work, files and documents, whatever you need to get to right there. Visit gotomypc.com youm can try it free 45 days free. How about that? But only if you use the promo code Adam. That's right, promo code Adam. Visit go to my PC.com, click on the try it free button. And remember, use the promo code Adam. And thank you in advance one more time for keeping wind in the sails of the pirate ship. You gonna buy something on Amazon, Perhaps my new book? Click through our site, hit the Amazon banner and ka pow. And also you can mail your book jackets in and I will sign them. You can find the address on our contact page on our website and you send them this month. And our friends [e-mail] will pay the request return postage. So get on that sooner than later and it will be done self addressed, non stamped envelope for a change. Steve.

[Steve Byrne]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Come back Anytime. This was fun.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you very much. Sullivan and Son premieres this Thursday, July 19th at 10pm only on TBS. And by the way, Twitter, Steve Byrne Live. Steve Byrne Live. That's B Y R N E Live. So until next time, Adam Kroll for Steve Byrne, Allison Rosen, and bald Brian saying Mahala, you dick.

[Podcast Host Giovanni]

All right, that's Adam Cole Show 867. Come up next, we have Adam Colo Show 873 featuring Candace Bailey, Dave Damek, Allison Rosen and Brian bishop.

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[Adam Carolla]

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Huzzah.

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[Adam Carolla]

O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, love that jingle. Oh, oh, oh. So they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. We know that. They're also, you know, I don't have too many car issues. Usually I can figure them out, but if I can't, I go to O'Reilly. And they got all the stuff there. Mostly stuff for me because the new stuff's like a computer. But my vintage cars, man, I can get a lot of parts from O'Reilly. They've got thousands of parts in stock, either in store or online, so you never have to worry if you get in a jam. Also, they'll test your battery for free, and if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It's O'Reilly Auto Parts. Right? Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit [e-mail] Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam Pluto

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[Adam Carolla]

We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra.

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

Welcome back to the show. Crowd favorite, Dave Dheke.

[Dave Damashek]

What a pleasure to see you bald. And. And the lovely Allison.

[Steve Byrne]

I guess.

[Dave Damashek]

I guess people forgot to let me know about. It's plaid shirt day. I'm coming out of the gate red hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Steve Byrne]

This is radio.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Bald's wearing a plaid shirt. I'm wearing a plaid shirt. Good day, Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello, Adam. Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Good day, Bald Brian.

[Dave Damashek]

Shut up and f my A hole.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Dave's got his number one sports. We got a ton of stuff to get to. First is, I don't know why people argue with me, because what I do is, as I once told. I think when I was arguing with Gloria Allred, and I was. She did that bullshit move, that all, by the way, it's alarming how stupid attorneys are when they argue. You know what I mean? Like, I've had many an argument with many an attorney. My own people on my side and people on other people's side. My side not on the air, just, you know, what are we gonna do about this? And I've realized that my reasoning is better than their reasoning. And I was put on academic probation at a junior college. They have degrees and they're not very good at what they do. Gloria Allred and I got an argument many years ago, and she said, well, you know, they do that thing where you never can tell, do you have a crystal ball? I don't have a. You know, they do that. They ask you, and then they explain they don't have one. And then they explain nobody has one. I like that one. So why do you need to ask if I have one if nobody has one? But I said to her, I don't have a crystal ball. I have a crystal brain, and I can understand things. And so thus, the things I complain about, they will be fixed not because I have a crystal ball, but because I'm bothered by things in advance. I complain about ketchup packets, that ketchup packets will get fixed eventually. It's not like I walk around going, I can see into the future. I can be bothered in the present.

[Allison Rosen]

You have the power of pre annoyance.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I am annoyed by things before other people are annoyed by things. And then eventually it takes people collectively a while to be annoyed as a society, and then something gets changed. You have an article there about leaf blowers, which is something I've been fucking yelling about for 10 years, but no one will listen to me. I had a chapter in my last book in 50 years Wall Be Chicks called why I Hate LA, and it got pulled out of the book because my editor lives in New York So

[Allison Rosen]

she never heard of this place.

[Adam Carolla]

There is a certain amount of, I'm a chick and I live in New York, so I don't know what you're talking about. So it's not any good. But, you know, there's a lot of that.

[Allison Rosen]

It'd be like, that's the audience of his books too. Chicks in New York.

[Adam Carolla]

It'd be kind of like if somebody, you said, well, why don't we start a network called the ESPN and some chick in New York one who's gonna watch sports.

[Dave Damashek]

I'm not into sports. No, you've told the tales like this in the past about development execs and people who you've pitched scripts to, and they say, no one's gonna get that. Why? Because you don't get it. Therefore, you speak for everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, everybody feels that way. Look, if you go out and you eat at a sub sandwich joint and you think it's subpar, which would be a horrible name for your sub sandwich. My favorite was a place in Canoga park called the Subcontractor. All us building guys used to go there. But subpar, horrible name for a chain of sub sandwich joints. But if you go there and you eat it and it doesn't taste good to you, then you're just going to tell everyone, oh, that's no good. You never go. My personal opinion is that they don't make a good sandwich. You just go, they make a horrible sandwich and you move on. So when you don't get something or you don't understand it, you don't go. My personal opinion is I don't care for it. You just go, no one's gonna like this. It's no good. And that's the way we're wired. And I understand it. So I had a chapter called why I Hate la. And what happened to it is it got yanked and then it got sort of cannibalized. Little bits and pieces of it ended up in other chapters of the book. But I will tell you what I wrote about two years ago about leaf blowers. You have an article there that somebody tweeted me and you can dig into that a little bit. Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, this is a fact based discussion of Arlington's partial leaf blower ban. And my favorite is the headline, pollen, Mold, Feces and Lung Lodging Particulates. And it just talks about all the stuff that is kicked up into the air from leaf blowers and the danger that it causes because a particulate matter of 2.5 micrometers and smaller is considered dangerous because Particulates or bits that are this small will lodge in the lungs, creating an array of problems.

[Adam Carolla]

So here's what I would say. I would say Los Angeles is probably the tip of the spear in whatever the nanny state is. You know, you drive around, you go to Florida, you see guys riding motorcycles and you're like, where's his helmet? He's got no helmet. Oh, he's gonna get into trouble for sure. It's like I turn into a nine year old, someone's going to tell on him and he's going to get into trouble. And it's like, oh, yeah, they don't have helmet laws in Florida, which I'm neither here. Look, I'm fine with put a helmet on. But you realize we are the tip of the spear in the nanny state when it comes to. Here's what you can put. You know, if you want to build something or if you want to start a business or whatever it is, we have a law. And a lot of them have to do with safety and a lot of them have to do with health, and a lot of them have to do with if you are, you know, removing something and there's some minute amount of asbestos involved in the flooring, then you have to call a hazmat team over. We're very lung oriented as well. We're safety oriented, but we're nutty lung oriented. We have some of the highest air quality standards, you know, as far as automotive emissions. You know, you can, you can go online and you can go, oh, I want to buy that header for my Jeep or that header for my Honda and it'll go legal. Except for in California, we have crazy smog rules. We have crazy just sort of. We're very safety oriented and we're lung oriented.

[Dave Damashek]

I'm glad, by the way, that I have no idea what a header is because now I'm not going to have to confront this down the line.

[Adam Carolla]

An exhaust header, the thing that comes off where the exhaust manifold would be on your car. But anyway, the point is this. So we're crazy about lungs and we're crazy about safety and we show it in terms of what comes out of your tailpipe or what comes out of your mouth if you're smoking a cigarette that's banned on the beach, but the leaf blowers, no problem there. And I always thought, what? Why? Because these not only what's coming out of the tailpipe and somebody figured out what's coming out of the tailpipe is more than what comes out of the tailpipe of a full size Ford F250 pickup truck because it's just two stroke and there's no catalytic converter or anything. But what it's kicking up when you're walking your dog down the street or even just driving a car when it's getting sucked up through the ventilation system, it's gotta be 20 times worse than any cigarettes or what's coming out of the back of a Honda.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, the California Air resources board or CARB, did a study specifically on leaf blowers in 2000, and they said health effects from hazards identified as being generated by leaf blowers range from mild to serious.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So, Brian, get prepared to argue. Although I'm going to shut you up. Last time we got into this, Brian made the semi retarded argument when I explained. No, I'm sorry, that's insane.

[Allison Rosen]

Welcome back.

[Adam Carolla]

Fully retarded argument. When I just kept saying, tell your gardener not to use the leaf blower and then you'll have to pay them whatever the extra amount is because they're going to be there an extra 20 minutes or half an hour, whatever it is.

[Brian Bishop]

I forgot about this because he was so inane, but keep going.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian's argument was, well, how's that going to work? Because he's going to charge you more and then you're just going to get another gardener that's going to undercut that guy. Right, right. Except for he can't use a leaf blower either.

[Brian Bishop]

It was simple supply and demand. It's that there are so many gardeners or lousy with gardeners here in Los Angeles that the ban of leaf blowers will not impact the price at all.

[Caller/Listener]

All.

[Adam Carolla]

It will not?

[Brian Bishop]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well then forget it then. We don't need leaf blowers.

[Brian Bishop]

They might need leaf blowers, but it won't impact the price. It won't impact our bottom line.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it will, because it's going to take them longer to work on each house.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm saying there's so many gardeners that they will not.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so they won't pass that along.

[Brian Bishop]

There will always be someone to do it for a lesser price.

[Adam Carolla]

Always. Yeah. There's no way to prove it. So then we don't need leaf blowers.

[Brian Bishop]

No. I'm agreeing with you about the whole leaf bore principle. It was only the price of the gardeners that I was arguing with you about.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, all right.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, either way, the leaf bore principle is sound.

[Adam Carolla]

They went on a like million Mexican march in 2000 because they passed a law. They passed a law that said no leaf blowers. Because of this. For this reason, you're putting fecal matter and vulcanized rubber into the air. And people are walking their kids down the street and they're breathing it into their lungs. And by the way, they're louder than shit. They're everything. You know, again, California is the land of laws. We have a law for everything. This thing is loud, it belches out stuff that, like I said, is worse than a full size Ford pickup truck out of the exhaust pipe. And then what it's kicking up is God knows what rat shit and fertilizer and poisons of one kind or another.

[Dave Damashek]

It's amazing. Cousin Sal is legal in this state. He embodies all of those things outside of his ass.

[Adam Carolla]

So the point is, is you make them illegal and you do what you do with everything, you just go, they're illegal. But there was a million Mexican March. But I don't get it, because if you just said nobody can use these things, then they could all pass along whatever extra it would cost because they'd have to stay an extra 15 minutes at your house sweeping and raking instead of blowing. But yet somehow, and I suspect it's Mayor Villa retardo and the rest of the city council, they don't want to get in hot water with the Latin vote, so they just kind of look the other way. Now, I don't. And also, they don't have any money. You see, we have money. So you can get pulled over for no front license plate, and they can just charge you 55 bucks or whatever. You have a checkbook. The legal guy with the leaf blower, no deep pockets, so he doesn't. We don't see him as a source of revenue.

[Brian Bishop]

That's exactly right. That's kind of my point, though, is that the guy who's illegally blowing the illegal guy who's blowing your lawn isn't. He's. You're buying his time, you're not buying his resources. So it's not like I'm losing money on this deal. It's no, he's making a little less money, and who's he gonna complain to? And there's always more gardeners.

[Adam Carolla]

First of all, has your price of

[Brian Bishop]

your gardeners gone up since 2000? So they had this million Mexican marsh.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even know what I pay my gardener. I'm so rich.

[Brian Bishop]

I'll tell you, the answer is no.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, here. First off, you have no idea what I pay my gardener or if it's gone up.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah, I do.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. I told you I didn't but you don't either, right? All right, so shut up, number one. Number two, whether this Million Man Marching didn't do anything. They never illegal, they never outlawed leaf blowers.

[Brian Bishop]

There are still restrictions. You can't use them within 100ft of apartments.

[Adam Carolla]

They use them frequently, early and often. And all gardeners, residential gardeners, use them. So we don't know what the answer is. Is my suspicion is whether you're a gardener or whether you're a roofer or whether you hang drywall or whatever you do. If somebody said you cannot use this piece of technology, it's going to add X amount of time to the job that you're doing, that person would eventually have to pass that cost along to the consumer.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's why I disagree.

[Dave Damashek]

Do you think.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I'll tell you. Do you think there's significantly more roofers or gardeners in this city?

[Adam Carolla]

There's more gardeners by far.

[Brian Bishop]

So I think the supply far outweighs the demand for gardeners.

[Adam Carolla]

But you're where roofers can charge almost

[Brian Bishop]

whatever they want within reason. Gardeners cannot.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, you have to. Yes, there's a certain price. Well, first off, you're saying that there's a whole bunch of out of work gardeners.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm saying there's a bunch of gardeners who could pick up extra work.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, but listen, they can't do it if it's not worth their time. And if it's not worth their time, what do you think of the time? Well, it's saying what a roofer's time is worth that.

[Brian Bishop]

What is it?

[Adam Carolla]

Find me another menial job nanny? Or find me news girl. Find me a job that doesn't pay that much. It's the same thing. You pass it. You guys know what I'm talking about, right?

[Steve Byrne]

I follow.

[Adam Carolla]

So you're saying. Here's what you're saying. You're saying you pay your gardener 50 bucks a month and you say, no leaf. All right. I can't believe I'm getting there. You say, no leaf blower. So he says, well, I'm gonna stay an extra half hour every once a week, so I'm gonna have to charge you another 20 bucks a month. And you say, you're fired.

[Brian Bishop]

I say, I can't do it. 50 bucks is all I can pay.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry. All right. And so he says, well, I can't do it for that.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, really? Because there's tooth gardeners down the street

[Adam Carolla]

and to the other white ones. And then they come over and you go, I Want you to work on my house, but you can't use your leaf blower. And they go, well, okay, then here's that price.

[Brian Bishop]

I guess we'll never know.

[Adam Carolla]

Because we do know, because it can't work for free.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, your suspicion was one thing. My suspicion is I will find another gardener within a 1 mile rail for 50 bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not saying you cannot scour Craigslist and find somebody to do your garden at a cut rate price. I'm saying once you outlaw a certain technology, then the price goes up a certain amount all the way across the board like it does with anything.

[Brian Bishop]

I think you're right about almost everything else. But gardeners, not gardeners. Flooded market. I think there's just so many gardeners in this city. How many pickup trucks do you see with gardening equipment coming out of the back driving down the street? Dozens every day.

[Adam Carolla]

Because there's a lot of houses in the city.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. And there's a ton of gardeners.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a ton of everything in this city. If you. All right, so you're saying if I

[Allison Rosen]

sweep my own leaves is an outrage.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Allison Rosen]

If they're disavailable.

[Adam Carolla]

So Brian, you're saying. I don't know what you're saying. You're saying it's not going to affect

[Brian Bishop]

anything and almost every other industry. I'm sure a raise in a certain price of technology will drive up prices in every industry. Yes. In almost every industry.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably not gardening.

[Brian Bishop]

I would say gardening is the exception. I think that's where my argument comes down.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so not for gardener.

[Brian Bishop]

Just because.

[Adam Carolla]

So we outlaw leaf blowers and the price stays the same all the way across the board.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm guessing if the price of computer chips goes up.

[Adam Carolla]

You're guessing or you're saying that's what I'm saying.

[Allison Rosen]

Is it because they're illegal?

[Adam Carolla]

Change.

[Allison Rosen]

Is that part of your argument?

[Brian Bishop]

Big thing about.

[Steve Byrne]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so it doesn't change. Okay. All right. And there's a lot of construction going on.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

But if you said you can't dig that ditch with a pneumatic hoe anymore, you got to dig it by hand, price would stay the same.

[Brian Bishop]

I think that the supply of good either contractors or people to work on your house.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's only gardeners.

[Dave Damashek]

Probably.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know if there's another industry that's so flooded.

[Adam Carolla]

So anyway, Brian, maybe nannies. You're making my argument. Except for you're wildly wrong, but you still make my. The price stays exactly same even though they get rid of gardeners. I don't know why those crazy gardeners were marching then.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know either.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't remember that. Why was there. Why would they want one of those things?

[Dave Damashek]

Cost a leaf blower. Is it expensive?

[Adam Carolla]

250 bucks. Are those people?

[Dave Damashek]

Well, maybe if you invested in one on the premise that I need one to be competitive and to be a viable option. And now I've invested in this and a year later, if the government said, well, you're not allowed to use that, maybe the job. Wait a minute. My money went into that. Who's gonna recoup me for making this expenditure?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's true. I don't know why they. I suspect they marched. They marched because they said it's gonna make their job longer and harder not to be able to use this tool. And thus they're going to lose money on it or they're not gonna be as effective as they could have been. It's a tool that they have to use and the fact that everyone is getting black lung because of it seem to bother anyone.

[Brian Bishop]

New leaf blower on Amazon. If you click through our site. By the way, all of them cost less than $100 and I promise, gas powered ones.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah, but what Ace just said is right. The reason they're marching is because, I mean, it's not. And that wouldn't be a small increase in workload. That would be miserable. Right? Leaf blower versus doing it with a ray.

[Brian Bishop]

Now it's time for the silent gallery to chime in. Do you think the price of our lawn tenders is gonna go up if this happened? I'll take your silences.

[Dave Damashek]

You, I really.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm taking your silences. What?

[Brian Bishop]

They agree with me.

[Dave Damashek]

That's not the case.

[Adam Carolla]

How dare you?

[Dave Damashek]

How dare you, sir.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it goes up because I have to stay there an extra half an hour or an hour, depending on what size your property is.

[Dave Damashek]

And I would contend. And I actually will say I understand where you're coming from. The larger point that you're making bald about, you know, if there's. If there are enough people, other people who can step in and do it. But I do think, though, I mean, listen, what do I know about cleaning leaves but. And gardening. But it seems like that that increase in workload would justify a pay rate.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I think immediately.

[Dave Damashek]

Would it not?

[Adam Carolla]

Of course it would be bad. Wouldn't that be like, what if you told the pool man he could no longer use his net, he had to pick up all the leaves by your hand. He just charged the same. And then you could get another pool man.

[Allison Rosen]

Immediately you're get someone who will do it for the same price, because they're going to come in and they're going to scoop up all the new jobs, but very quickly, the price is going to go up.

[Adam Carolla]

No, immediately the price goes up across the board. If you enforce this across the board, because everyone is going to be there 20% longer and work that much harder, that's how it would work its way out. It's the same way with adding anything like an airbag to a car. It adds to all cars, and that will go up 500 bucks. That's how it works. It's the law. Boom. It all gets tacked on. There's many examples of this where it'll get tacked on, and that'll be it. There could be some insane gardeners who would come do it at the same price, but they're going to quickly be out of business because they're not going to be able to keep up. Yeah, but I'm saying it's going to happen on a one on one basis with everyone immediately. Like, you're going to tell your gardener you can no longer use this, and he's going to go through your maid, whoever speaks Spanish in the house. I got to charge you more. And that's what's going to happen. That's my take on it. But Brian says no either way.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, no one has a crystal ball, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. But every other. And every other trait would work that way. Just not gardeners.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, good.

[Brian Bishop]

It makes perfect sense. It does?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, of course it makes sense what I'm saying, because that's what would happen. No, it doesn't matter.

[Brian Bishop]

It would still like, pretty simple supply and demand to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, why do they ch. Okay. Why isn't your gardener charging you 25 bucks less? Why isn't someone undercutting your gardener right now? Who uses the leaf blower?

[Brian Bishop]

I never. I never had anyone come to my house.

[Adam Carolla]

Why isn't somebody undercutting everyone right now? Using your logic, I'm probably paying the

[Brian Bishop]

gardener the least amount they can probably make.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wait, so you're saying there's nobody who can undercut your garden? What about all the illegals? Well, that's. What are you saying they never come to a house?

[Brian Bishop]

I wouldn't know. Someone knocked on my door and said, hey, I'll do your lawn for 50 bucks less, or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

The same argument.

[Allison Rosen]

What kind of loyalty is that?

[Adam Carolla]

According to your argument, any gardener can undercut any Other gardener right now if they want.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Adam Carolla]

And they could do this and they're illegal so you don't have to pay them. So they could just go do whatever they wanted and just undercut everyone at all the time a pittance. So they could do it. They could do it now. So every gardener should be doing that?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I guess they should be.

[Adam Carolla]

Alright, so tell your gardener who you pay. Let's say you pay. What do you pay your gardener?

[Brian Bishop]

100 bucks a month.

[Adam Carolla]

100 bucks a month? Tell him it's now 50 bucks a month. Okay, tell him 50 bucks a month and then he'll leave. But don't worry, another guy will come in and do it for 45 or 50. Okay, you think so?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it seems elaborate but you're gonna

[Adam Carolla]

get a guy to come in and do it for 50 bucks a month.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm sure I could, but you could.

[Adam Carolla]

Why are you throwing away 50 bucks a month then?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, cuz I like the work they do.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, so that's the factor.

[Brian Bishop]

But we also negotiated the rate when we first met the guys. Like he's like he did the same thing. I want a hundred fifty bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

Tell him five dollars a month and you get anal sex. I tell him 50 bucks and then get a new guy come in.

[Brian Bishop]

Getting or giving anal sex.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, it's a big difference. Just use your same logic and apply to this guy right now, minus the leaf blower thing. Just tell him I'm paying you half the amount.

[Brian Bishop]

But 50 bucks a month difference is

[Adam Carolla]

different than what you're paying 25 and then it'll get him to leave.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah, but also the thing is too with that and I understand the large, you know, in a vacuum what you're saying, not a leaf blower but in a vacuum ball. I think that if you, that if this gardener now can't use a leaf blower, which probably makes that probably cuts what would be doing it manually by you know, reduces it to 25% of the time it otherwise would. Plus the physical labor, the exhaustion attached to that. All those things combined is going to mean he's going to hit fewer houses over the course of the day.

[Adam Carolla]

What they just get another guy to come in and do it?

[Dave Damashek]

I understand what you're getting at, but. But I'm, but I'm saying.

[Adam Carolla]

And the guy would say, he's not

[Dave Damashek]

going to say, well you just have to meet that extra time. He's also going to say you also have to meet the extra oil that I'm providing for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Can't do five houses a day. You can only do three houses a day because you have to spend this extra labor.

[Dave Damashek]

Hurts way worse from those three houses now. So I want more loot for it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's what would happen. So the point is this. You outlaw these things. The gardeners pass it, would pass it along to the consumer just like they do with everything they outlaw or everything. They put a safety whatever around. That's what they do. They pass it along and that'd be fine. And then if you didn't want a gardener, you didn't have to have a gardener. That's deal. Or you get some renegade who would come in, undercut the guy. But either way, he couldn't use his leaf blower anyway, so it's a moot point. I don't understand why we can't enforce this. And I can't remember, I think it was 2000 when they went on their Million Man March. Anyway, here's what I wrote in my book that got pulled out of the book. Los Angeles is the only city I know that's more leaf blowers than residents. It's at least three days a week I'm woken up by the melodic tones of the leaf blower. A day doesn't pass where I don't drive, jog, walk my dog through a giant funnel cloud of pollen, dust, dirt, cockroach, fecal matter and whatever other toxic particulates these assholes have managed to lift off the ground and insert into my lungs. In Los Angeles, it's illegal to smoke on the beach or in parks or if you want to smoke at a club or you can't just even go outside and smoke. You have to go down the street. Yet these guys with the leaf blowers spread their toxic plume with impunity. I'm not an internist. Damoshek's dad is, right.

[Dave Damashek]

That's right.

[Steve Byrne]

Yes.

[Dave Damashek]

Specifically a blood doctor.

[Adam Carolla]

But even I can figure out that smoke from a Marlboro Ultra light two lifeguard stations away possesses no health risk. But the vacuum bag full of weed killer and vulcanized rubber I inhale annually because of these ass wipes is more dangerous than working in a coal mine.

[Dave Damashek]

Settle down, Dawson. He's not killing the kind of weed it's a different thing in Top. Chill out, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. I grew up thinking by 2010 we'd all have jet packs. So far all we have is Mexicans with lawnmower engines strapped to their asses. Now, dear leaf blower sympathizer asshole. Because I like to. I like to Speak to my critics. I know what you're thinking right now. If these guys had to put down their leaf blowers and pick up a rake, it would take them an extra hour to do your yard. And who's going to pay for that hour? Answer anyone who wants a gardener. And I think that's good enough for now. That's it. Why not? Why do we put up with this shit? I think it's a weird racial thing.

[Dave Damashek]

Hmm.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's the fact that we don't want to tell these people what to do with their fucking leaf blowers. And certainly the city council and Via Retardo doesn't want to do it because it's a law that we don't enforce. What other laws do we have that involve.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a sheepishness over the fact that we're all paying people that we know are illegal and it's under the table and there's like a.

[Dave Damashek]

It's not even minimum wage. Yeah, you're not paying the minimum wage.

[Allison Rosen]

We're taking advantage of them already.

[Brian Bishop]

So much like LA's version of don't ask, don't tell. Because once you start to look into the whole leaflet thing, who are these people using the leaf flares anyway? And who's paying them and how are they cashing their checks?

[Dave Damashek]

You pay them $25 a week to come over. It's not one guy comes up, comes to your place, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's a whole gang.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, that's the point. There's some white.

[Dave Damashek]

There's white together more than you're the racist in here.

[Adam Carolla]

There's white guilt or something involved. There's something going on mixed with, like I said, a mayor who looks at this as his constituency. Either way, can somebody find me? Whenever that fucking million gardener march took place, I was just looking at a picture of it. All right, we'll get to it in a second. But again, you couldn't do this with smoking. It's not like we could just start smoking. And then someone went, well, leave him alone. He's not really. He's kind of off to the corner of the restaurant. Doesn't. You're just being fucking shackles and dragged out of the place. Right? Like, what law involving health? Like, hey, hey, Officer, don't worry about the way I transport my kids in my car. I don't choose. I don't. First off, that's Alcantara leather. I don't like the way those kids. Seats fit in there. And they eat their fucking chips and they get stuck under the seat and they get wedged down there and I just put them in the back, they're fine. Would that work?

[Allison Rosen]

I would put them on the roof

[Adam Carolla]

or you ride my motorcycle with no helmet. Like what other safety related laws do we have that we just get to completely ignore?

[Dave Damashek]

Can I tell you something? I want to maybe embolden your point. Although I guess I am a minority of sorts because there's maybe anti Semitism, I don't know what is the cause of it, but I am under attack at my. At my full time job over at the NFL because the other day I'm at the salad bar there. You know the place called the huddle. It's like a commissary kind of thing. And I like a nice.

[Adam Carolla]

I've been there, I like it in there.

[Dave Damashek]

They have, you know, all the fancy pants is there Rick, your pal Rich Eis and our pal, he's swell, but he has, he has something called the Rich special. It's a dish but. And like I've said before, I'll say again now, the only thing special about it is the name. It's horrible. It's not a good dish. SAP has one. He has something. Jamie Dukes has one of these. All these guys. I want something, but I want the. I want the soup station. I want it to be the damage soup station. But I digress. At the salad bar, I like to scoop some stuff in there. I like this. I like the lettuce, I like the beans. Kidney, garbanzo.

[Allison Rosen]

Where do you stand on baby corn?

[Dave Damashek]

I don't. I'm not a fan of it. It's gross. It's gross.

[Adam Carolla]

What about architects being evil megalomaniacs?

[Allison Rosen]

Are they not?

[Dave Damashek]

You got into this with me before. I know this is your.

[Allison Rosen]

We gotta get him to weigh in on one big arm tennis players. But make your salad point.

[Brian Bishop]

All right.

[Dave Damashek]

So what I like to top it off with is a nice hard boiled egg, if you please. So some salad bars, they slice the egg for you. Some even separate the white from the yolk. I don't want the yolk at the salad bar.

[Allison Rosen]

I appreciate that.

[Dave Damashek]

Some people will give you the white. Gelson's will give you that.

[Adam Carolla]

In the hard boiled department.

[Dave Damashek]

Yes, Separated from the yellow. So alright, they don't do that. They give you a peeled but whole hard boiled egg in the bin. Well, I don't want the yellow like I say. So I take the spatula, the spoony thing, I cut it in half. I depress with the flat end the egg. So that pushes out the yellow. Then I scoop the white into my bowl and I leave the yellow back there in the bin. Somebody sees me do this and says, what gives? You can't dodge. That's disgusting what you just did. I call over an employee of the commissary. I say, do you have a problem with that? No, I don't have any problem with that. The customer is always right, is the. Is what he's saying. Next thing I know, it's a major ordeal over there. Hundred percent of the people damn a sheik's a scoundrel for leaving the yellow behind. Unsanitary is the charge. I'm not handling it. I'm not putting my mitts on it or anything like that. I just have taken the. I'm leaving the yellow there. And by the way, maybe. Maybe I'm doing somebody else a solid. Maybe somebody else in there doesn't like.

[Adam Carolla]

I like the yo.

[Brian Bishop]

And they want the yellow of peeled hard boiled eggs.

[Dave Damashek]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

How is it any less sanitary?

[Dave Damashek]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I'm.

[Dave Damashek]

Where's Villa Rugosa on this one?

[Allison Rosen]

Maybe they think you did it with your hands.

[Dave Damashek]

With my hands?

[Allison Rosen]

They don't. Imagine how you could perform this exercise.

[Dave Damashek]

I raised by some beasts in the wild, Heaven forbid.

[Allison Rosen]

And I've always been afraid that someone's gonna see me.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me say this.

[Dave Damashek]

I was attacked and I was humiliated.

[Adam Carolla]

People act like we have some sort of sterilized robots behind the kitchen. We got the same guys that were working the leaf blowers last year back there. And they're peeling the eggs and they're handling the food and they're chopping up the onions and whatever's in the salad and whatever it is you're eating. This obsession. You know when you think about something like a hamburger and you think about just the wheat, the flour, where it got milled, all the little rat droppings that were involved with that, how it then got baked. Who handled it? The semi truck it drove out in. Mixed with all the greens and the tomato and the onion and the Bennet, not to mention the beef, the cow, the mustard, the relish, all the different things. There are 30 different things in the things.

[Dave Damashek]

All those animals that the chickens were injected with, right?

[Adam Carolla]

All the handling and all the people. And all along the way to the very end when it gets to the kitchen and the guy who's. By the way, if you went into his apartment, you'd be scared to sit down. Like really, like, you'd be like, Mr. Burns, you'd actually put a beach towel down on his sofa and sit there and watch a soccer match. That way that guy's handling that burger away, flipping it, putting it on top, doing whatever that. And that's best case scenario. Worst case is the burger patty drops on the ground once or the lettuce drops on the ground once. He looks around and puts it back up. That's where all gets. And then soon as it goes through the curtain and gets out to the dining area, everyone becomes super uptight. God forbid you take a chip and double dip it into the salsa or something that the rest of the people use. Like everyone comes, but they don't understand. Where'd that fucking salsa come from? Where'd the corn for the chip come? It's all a mess. What a hell. We're able to handle it.

[Dave Damashek]

It's anti Semitism.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you what I do. I agree. I'll tell you what I do. This is a weird thing. When I stir. You guys tell me how weird this is. When I order like a Starbucks and I pour a little bit of milk into the Starbucks and I stir with that stirring stick. I'll put the stick back in the thing that seems like I'm a maniac. Yeah, put it back for the rest of it. I'll put it back. For what reason? I don't like throwing it away. It's wood. It's good wood. Why is it going in the landfill? I didn't look. I didn't. Yeah, fuck them. They're dead. Oh, how much?

[Dave Damashek]

How bad could they be? I mean, how severe could they.

[Adam Carolla]

They'd be fine.

[Dave Damashek]

I kind of like the move. Say, look, you're green, but what is this? I'm great Green Corolla.

[Allison Rosen]

That's it?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I just don't like it. No big deal.

[Dave Damashek]

Can I ask you this move? This is the one that I know crosses a line for 99% of the population. Like my old man, I witnessed with my preteen eyes. I watched him do it. And I followed in his tracks proudly.

[Steve Byrne]

Pizza.

[Dave Damashek]

You're in a pizza joint and another table gets up and walks away from a half eaten pie. You know, they order the whole pizza. They go, they've had enough, their bellies are full. Apparently they've left half that pie behind.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Dave Damashek]

I've been known to pick up a piece of them. I'm still hungry. And now what they do.

[Adam Carolla]

It's garbage.

[Dave Damashek]

They were just eating it 90 seconds ago. It's not garbage. It's a. It's a what? How bad? How Cynical would I have to be about my fellow man sharing the same joint as these? That pizza is now poisoned because they ordered it and they didn't fit. Would they lick it on their way out? No. I would have.

[Adam Carolla]

Even if they did, it doesn't matter. And what's the difference between those that, like, when you order pizza, there's five people all grabbing for slices at once? No, it's. It's ridiculous. It's all in your head.

[Dave Damashek]

If you go to a buffet with, oh, I can't eat that.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dave Damashek]

That's the Jordan Rubin rule. Our old pal from the Mancha who could never eat anything that was served family style. It was too disgusting for him. But for most human beings, that should be fine. There's no. That's not. I shouldn't be demonized for my love of pizza.

[Adam Carolla]

No. Agreed. All right. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

At my college graduation, my family sat behind another family who had ordered a box of Krispy Kremes and finished half the box. And as soon as they got up and left, my brother dove in, finished the box.

[Dave Damashek]

That's great.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that.

[Dave Damashek]

He's a hero.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Dave, number one sports, and let me do a little. Give a little love to one of our new sponsors while you crank that up. Zoosk.com. that's Z O O S K dot com. They are what you call their dating site. Mm. Mm. You go through their website, they got a Facebook app. You can put it on your mobile device there. You can. It's downloadable, by the way. They got the desktop application. I've said many times, if I was single, I'd be all over this Internet. This notion back in the day of just going to a bar and hanging around until you found someone who was drunk enough or stupid enough to bed down with insane. And odds wise, not great.

[Dave Damashek]

Doesn't it seem like this is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's like this. If you're buying, if you're in the market for a used car and all you had was the lot on the corner, you're pretty much at their mercy versus going online and looking all over the country for the best deal, the best color, the best interior.

[Dave Damashek]

Oh, I know what he means.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. You can sign up, by the way. Available in 25 languages. Who. Who speaks 25? Oh, okay. You don't have to use them all. Okay. Because that seemed weird if you'd have to use all 25 of those languages. And what if you spoke 26 languages? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They got members in 70 countries. There's not 70. You gotta check this copy, man. 70 countries, 25 languages all over the world. People who sign up through Zoosk.com Adam will get a free. Oh, they get free coins that allow them to send virtual gifts or increase your profile popularity. What? How does that work, Mike? Is that right? Free coins. How's that work? It's, you know, you use it to

[Dave Damashek]

bump up your profile.

[Adam Carolla]

You get free coins.

[Dave Damashek]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's, that's the term they use.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, it's like it's a fun dating profile and there's little doodads and whatnot. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

No. Okay. All right. You don't get change in the mail.

[Allison Rosen]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Allow you to send virtual coins. Yes. I got you. Increase that profile popularity. Zoosk.com Adam. All right, now, Dave Damaschek. Number one sports.

[Dave Damashek]

It's time for Dave Dashek's number one sports.

[Adam Carolla]

Number one sports. Do it, Dave.

[Dave Damashek]

This segment is brought to you by mangrade.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Dave Damashek]

100% in these United States of America. 100% steakhouse quality grilling in your own backyard. Click the mangrove banner on AdamCorolla.com for a humdinger of a deal.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a doozy, I tell you.

[Dave Damashek]

It's the bee's knees, cat's pajamas and so on. All right, now, somber news. The Penn State. Well, I don't know that this part is so somber. The Penn State Joe Paterno statue, gone, as are those football guys by the by that are behind him. The players that were on the wall, they're also gone. It was a, it was sort of an eerie picture that you might want to track down and put on AdamCarolla.com that when they were taking him down, they threw a hood over. He almost looked like he was a capturer.

[Brian Bishop]

He was being led to the cast.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Or a prisoner. Yeah. But the number one finger still sticking out, but the head covered by a hood of shame as he was dragged away there. I think what they should do, really, wouldn't this be a grand move? They should put that, they're gonna put it in a so called secure location. I think they should put it in Sandusky's cell. Oh, yeah, there's that image right there.

[Adam Carolla]

Furniture pad looking thing.

[Dave Damashek]

But it's kind of, it's creepy looking and somehow appropriate. But they should put the sand. They should put the Paterno statue in Sandusky cells for him. Well, no. Well, first of all, practically, it would just take up space. I mean, you know, his, his ability to Move around would be compromised.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Dave Damashek]

And then, of course, then he could forever look at. Let's not lose sight of the fact Joe Paterno did some bad, bad things with this whole. With this whole deal. But let Sandusky never forget he is responsible for taking down an entire program. Because as soon as Monday, we record on Sunday, as soon as Monday, they're not going to get the death penalty, but all the reports are. They're going to get hammered.

[Steve Byrne]

They're going to.

[Dave Damashek]

You know, in fact, one of the quotes I read is they're going to wish they would have gotten the death penalty, which would be no football for a year. Instead, they're going to lose bowl. You know, they're not going to be allowed to go to any bowl games. They're going to lose all sorts of scholarships and so on. They're really going to be destroyed and marginalized for. I bet you, at least the next decade. I won't. I bet you they don't play winning football for at least.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, like, SMU was devastated. Yeah, they got the death penalty by whatever. They got the death penalty.

[Dave Damashek]

You know, SMU in Texas, recruiting, rich environment, same thing as Pennsylvania. But, yeah, I think they're. I think they're in a lot of trouble. Ace, do you agree with taking the statue down?

[Adam Carolla]

You know, it's so weird because I feel two ways. There's no greater crime than this crime in my book. Stealing the kid's innocence and all that kind of stuff. There is this thing, too, where it's like, I was talking about Joe Pa about this the other day, and I was wondering. And I was saying, Allison, I don't know how old he was when he died. 90, 89?

[Dave Damashek]

No, I think he was early. 80s, 80s.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he's that young?

[Dave Damashek]

I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Maybe in between. All right, we'll find out. Anyway, the point is this. The guy's from a totally different generation, and I don't know if he's equipped. I don't know how well he's equipped to handle these kind of things. He's a football coach. You know, we do this with athletes. You know, this guy should have known better. He's what, a guy who got pushed through high school and then pushed through college, and everyone said yes all the time to him, and there was never any repercussions, and everything just kind of went. You know, he raped some cheerleader and it just kind of went away. And then all of a sudden, we expect him. He was 85 in between, but he's 85. We now, we expect these guys to do what good citizens would do. But. And we hold them to a standard. But after all, I think most of them are just kind of dopey guys who know one thing very well, which is football. And also, he's like old guy probably in that you don't air your laundry with people. You know, how weird. And you know how old people are very. You don't talk about that. You don't bring this stuff up. There's just some weird secret shame to everything. They're very closed off. And. Yeah. So there's a part of me that realizes, like, he should have done something. And then there's other part of me that realizes I know he just wanted everything to go away. I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

The only thing I would say to that, though, is that even. And criminals, people in jail have no tolerance for child abuse. So I think.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if you can make

[Allison Rosen]

a correct correlation between intelligence and the handling of pedophilia.

[Adam Carolla]

I think the no tolerance part, by the way, I think they want to kill people in prison. I completely agree with where you're going. And every once in a while they go, look, I can't kill a guy from the Crips. I'm a Crip. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

I can't kill Rem.

[Adam Carolla]

And I can't remember with the Mexican lowriders, because they'll kill one of us.

[Dave Damashek]

I'm not messing with the guy who pumps iron in the yard every day and is jacked up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, the guy with the swastika that's on his huge lats that's like 4ft wide, like a boy scout.

[Allison Rosen]

I can take him.

[Dave Damashek]

The pasty skin nerd who has a weird sexual issue.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Allison Rosen]

Okay.

[Dave Damashek]

I sure can. Destroy.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a new giant black man who just got here. We can always fuck with him. You've only got the pasty.

[Dave Damashek]

He killed four people.

[Adam Carolla]

I do think there's a. I do

[Dave Damashek]

think there's bare hands.

[Adam Carolla]

There's an element of, if I kill Jeffrey Dahmer or the pedophile, I get to be the hero of the jailhouse. The other part is there's no repercussions because everyone in prison has to break off into a gang, but there's no pedophile gangs. And so that's part of it. Yeah, but they hate them, and we all do. But historically, this stuff has gone on and people turn a blind eye to it constantly, all the time at Catholic church. And it just keeps going and going and going. I Mean, this isn't new. This goes back to the Roman days and yet a lot of people just went. So I feel bad for his legacy and that I think he was just an old man who just went like, but he should have done something.

[Dave Damashek]

Agree completely. But I agree with a lot of that. But the issue is that he's the head football coach and the administration was supposedly the institution's head were supposedly gathering to do something, to go to the cops or do something. And Paterno drops this email allegedly that then shuts it down and they listen to him.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the problem.

[Dave Damashek]

Paterno per se, but the ability for the pro, for the. I agree with you. Listen, he's not all those things you said. He also lives in a bubble. For 50 years, he's hailed as a godlike figure in central Pennsylvania. So that makes it like whatever I decide to do is what I'm gonna do. And my entire legacy is built around this football program. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to protect it. I'm not gonna let anything take down what I've built over the course of my lifetime. But the administration has to then say, hey, old football coach, keep quiet. This is something way more heinous. This isn't getting. Turning the other eye, turning the other cheek because some of our guys got free tattoos at a local parlor. This is criminal deeds at the highest level. So that, yeah, the institution needs to be laid, you know, needs to be laid waste. But taking down Joe is a symbol. Never again can we make the football program more important than the university.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm all right with it.

[Allison Rosen]

What do you think's gonna happen? Cuz tomorrow they're announcing the sanctions.

[Dave Damashek]

I think they're gonna be rendered irrelevant for the next many years. And I bet that guy who took the job from like, what is his name, Bill o', Brien, left the Patriots to take this gig is going to be regretting that. Oh no.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Dave Damashek]

We're going to.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. All right, next. Yes.

[Dave Damashek]

Ernie Ells. He came back from six back at the start of Sunday to win the so called British Open. He won two US Opens in the 90s. A British in ought to. And now this one. The thing is, I find it very obnoxious for the people over there in the uk. I don't know if you noticed. It's inappropriate apparently to refer to it and they're angry about you. Don't call it the British Open.

[Brian Bishop]

It's the Players Championship.

[Dave Damashek]

No, no, no. That's the tpc. Now that's something else that's not the players. No, it's. It's the Open. It's the Open Championship.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Dave Damashek]

We have the US Open. But as I like, they think they invented the sport or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I see.

[Dave Damashek]

No, that's their point. As we invented it also is the original game.

[Adam Carolla]

This whole thing, it can't figure it out because it's like you call it the British Open. They get, you shorten it from. They want you to shorten it from British Open to Open, but if you do that with Japanese, you're screwed. Do you know what I'm saying? You shorten that one, you got Japs, then we got an issue. So which is it? People? I ask you, how's a guy supposed to speak anymore?

[Dave Damashek]

You pose a fascinating question there. But yes, the Open.

[Adam Carolla]

And God forbid you call San Francisco San Fran.

[Dave Damashek]

Why would you get attacked for that? Why is that so ridiculous?

[Allison Rosen]

Is it. Isn't Frisco worse?

[Dave Damashek]

Frisco's even better. And that's why I go out of my way to use Frisco now.

[Brian Bishop]

They're equally bad.

[Dave Damashek]

Spite.

[Adam Carolla]

No, because here it is. San Francisco, Frisco is the cradle of people who want to correct other people. That's the birthplace of people, where they go.

[Brian Bishop]

That's where it comes from.

[Adam Carolla]

They go. Yes, they go. It's not rape victim, it's rape survivor. Okay? It's Native American, indigenous Native. They love to correct everyone all the time so that they live to correct. It's an elitist group who wants to correct all the time. So of course, anything you call their city, they will correct you almost immediately on. So it's a cradle of correction. Whereas like Iowa, they don't want to correct, they just want to fuck.

[Dave Damashek]

This applies to sports and beyond. Or in fact, Frisco's opinion of Los Angeles bleeds into their, their regard or lack thereof of Angelenos. It's a, it's, it's a fascinating one sided relationship. It is the same as Cleveland Browns fans who come up to Steelers fans are like, oh, we don't like each other, right? Like, no, I don't think about you at all.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't.

[Dave Damashek]

You never cross my mind. You're a punchline to me. Not even in that same.

[Allison Rosen]

Not.

[Dave Damashek]

It's not even acrimonious on Angelina's. Just don't even. The only opinion anybody has of San Francisco is what a wonderful place, Beautiful, maybe the best city in America. A lovely place, delicious food and so on. You go up there though, you get into a cab, you go, you're In a restaurant. Where you, where are you in from?

[Brian Bishop]

La.

[Dave Damashek]

Oh, I'm sorry. That place is the worst. What an armpit? Like, why, what's your problem? Beef with la.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me say this, no one cares

[Dave Damashek]

about San Francisco down here for land

[Adam Carolla]

that invented not judging. They do a fuck of a lot of judging, let's just put it that way. It's interesting.

[Allison Rosen]

It's true.

[Dave Damashek]

Strange. And in the a callback to your old same name game there, ace from the old radio show. The winner or the man who could have won, but he bogeyed the last four holes, Adam Scott, not to be confused with our pal Adam Scott from Parks and Recreation and so on. So your champion, Ernie Lynn. Interesting. I got an email. You know how I've brought up here before, I love those recurrences with one actor in various movies. You know, Kevin Spacey to me is the gold standard. He's been the subject not once but twice of police sketch artists in seven and Usual Suspects. Well, how about this one? Shall be Levon99 on Twitter. Drop me a line and you can feel free to do so. Damoshek. Terrorism in Hines Field in the new Batman picture, which I stole away to see last Friday. Terrorism there. How about this? The sports teams of Pittsburgh suddenly always being terrorized in movies. In the Orange Bowl. In Black Sunday. In Black Sunday.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's the Steelers.

[Dave Damashek]

The Steelers and the Cowboys. In Super Bowl 10, sudden death, the Penguins. And if it weren't for Van Damme, who knows what would happen? And I might even extend that into the natural. Because Roy Hobbs, when he hits the home run at the end of the picture, they're playing the Pittsburgh Pirates, spoiler alert. And the lights, and the lights explode. Who knows what could have happened.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Dave Damashek]

If one of those comes down and one of those Pirate outfielders catches flames and is burnt to a crisp. I don't know, but that's a weird one.

[Brian Bishop]

I thought there's another terrible movie came out last year with Taylor Lautner, but he gets like, you know, tracked down and he's at a Pirates game. He's like hiding out like a captors is there.

[Adam Carolla]

What gives with you knowing what, Taylor Lautner's out there.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah, I mean, I have no idea

[Brian Bishop]

who's in the film.

[Adam Carolla]

In the movie seven, Brad Pitt opens that box. They never show what's in the box. Is it the head of.

[Dave Damashek]

You see the blonde hair?

[Adam Carolla]

I couldn't remember if they showed. Like we were just supposed to figure

[Brian Bishop]

it out or Kevin basically tells him what's in the box.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he tells him what's in it. All right, all right. I gotta pay attention.

[Brian Bishop]

The film is abduction.

[Dave Damashek]

And lastly, how was Batman, by the way? I enjoyed it. Is it. It's hard for me to quantify. I think it's going to be one of those ones I have to see a second time. I really enjoyed it. The thing that is beyond debate. Whatever. If you think it's. I know, Ace, your thing about the too earthy. I. The James Bond stuff doesn't. I'm not as captivated by that angle, the earthy James Bond. But I do like the idea of what if Batman. What if a guy decided I'm gonna be a superhero in the real world? It is an interesting angle to take on this. And three times over, Nolan comes up with really creepy bad guys. I mean, you know, the best one was Heath Ledger as the Joker, of course. But this Bane is pretty good. There's some good grand stuff that I think you'll get into, Ace. Some of the big, you know, summertime kind of stuff that you. And you also like the motor. I imagine that appeals to your, you know, the cars and all that stuff. But yeah, I think that about halfway through I thought. But they're not going to pull off the large s that they're going for. They shot too high for the social statements. But towards the end, I sort of. I was thinking, yeah, I think they did a good job with it. A nice picture.

[Adam Carolla]

What would be better, Batman or Spider Man? What's the consensus?

[Allison Rosen]

If we can only see one man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dave Damashek]

Well, I haven't seen Spider man, so I can't really weigh in. I think the reviews have both been pretty favorable.

[Brian Bishop]

I think it's shockingly high for Spider man, but like, people expect it to be that good. But the Batman one, I think is meeting expectations from what I hear.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah. I don't think anybody's saying it's a lousy picture, but yeah, check out this Bane. I think he's good. That's your sports and this segment again, brought to you by mangrate. 100% cast iron, 100% made in America, 100% steakhouse quality grilling in your backyard or my backyard. Stop by, won't you? Click the mangrate banner on AdamCarolla.com for a great deal. By the way, Ace, some guy was in the farmers market just yesterday having a few belts with my. With my main man, David Feeney, as we're one to do, especially in summertime. And a couple fellas came over, hey, look who it Is Dave Damaschek Been here in Yon Ace. Glad to hear you back on there.

[Adam Carolla]

It's nice. It's one of those things where kind of reminded me of radio back in the day, which is you can talk about numbers all you want, but you need those little things of. I was walking through New York and a guy passed by me with earbuds on and held his iPhone open, and it had, you know, the podcast on it, and I had a guy playing it in his car next to me. And there's little bits. Again, nothing that would hold up in court. But it's interesting, the saturation as you travel. You guys probably experienced this, that in year one. It was a lot of pod, what you're doing. You're working with whales. I don't get it. How does that work? You're fishing for whales. No, no, no. It's different. This is different. And now it's a lot of, you know, they just go. You do the Tonight show, and it goes. Jay Leno goes. This guy's got number one podcast. They don't go podcast. You know, before they do these things where they'd go Internet radio show, or they'd give it names, they'd call it something other. They would sort of stop and explain what it was and that kind of stuff. Now it's had some sort of at least reached the saturation point where people know what it is and you can travel. The thing that's cool that makes it different than terrestrial radio is. When I used to do Loveline, I knew mostly the markets we were in and mostly the markets we weren't in. If you traveled to a market that you weren't in, you could count on nobody knowing you. This is a weird, oddball thing where people in Nova Scotia can listen to it, so you can be wherever. And there's at least a mathematical possibility of running into somebody who's heard the podcast. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Quick story. I encountered this yesterday.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

I was in Nashville, Tennessee, for a bachelor party, and I'm getting on the party bus, and my buddies give me a hard time. Like, hey, he's on the bus already. Hey, it's Bob Bryant from the Adam Carolla show. And he's laughing. He says, the driver, you ever listen to the Adam Carolla Show? He goes, listen every day.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Oh, man, it's an awesome show.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks. I'm like, thanks for listening.

[Adam Carolla]

This guy is driving the party bus in Nashville. I love that. There you go.

[Dave Damashek]

Pretty nice. Listen, everything's coming up Jackal, your company with Kimmel. Kimmel's nominated. The Kimmel show gets. Gets its first Emmy nomination. Your podcast number one. As a result of you welcoming me on this show, my podcast is doing nicely.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Dave Damashek]

I don't think as well, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

As well, but Dave Damaschek football program you can get on itunes and his website, davedamichek.NFL.com all right. Do we got a creep of the week?

[Dave Damashek]

Yes, of course we do. I said everything's coming up roses, except for one thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Hit it, bald.

[Dave Damashek]

Creep. Creep. Creep of the week. Of the week. He or she is the creep of the week. Like I say, the podcast, a fair amount of attention. My football podcast. Earlier this week, we welcomed San Antonio Holmes into the studio. I brought that up. A lot of people checked it out. SportsCenter was playing sound bites from it, so on. And so because San Antonio said some odd things, he's, you know, he sometimes has suspect character and he sort of illustrated that with his remarks. If you would play that. Play a little sound bite of what got so much attention.

[Adam Carolla]

So if the New York media wants to be a part of our team and wants to continue writing about us, write positive things, stay away from the negative, because it doesn't, it doesn't do anything good for our team that you want to report all the negative things that happen and that's all you want to talk to us players about, because we live for one thing, and that's to play football, not to entertain you people in the media.

[Dave Damashek]

All right?

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, listen, he's a little bit.

[Dave Damashek]

He's not playing to entertain. Well, that's kind of part of being a professional athlete with, you know, millions of people watching. You should kind of be mindful of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dave Damashek]

And asking the media to only say nice things about you. Naive, to say the least. But then some guy, Bob Raisman, I don't know what his name is, he writes for the New York Times.

[Allison Rosen]

He.

[Dave Damashek]

I mean, for the New York Daily News. Excuse me. He writes a little piece. He's a media critic. Sports media critic. The name of his little piece, softball on NFL.com not that he needed any help in playing the fool while bashing the media, but San Antonio Holmes got a huge assist from Dave Damaschek, the guy who chatted with him on nature. NFL.com podcast this interview, he puts it in the air in the quote was an ultimate Twinkie munch. I don't know what it means, but I can, I can guess.

[Adam Carolla]

That's when you try to suck a guy off. But he's really high on cocaine and he can't get tumescent.

[Dave Damashek]

Oh good.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, everyone knows.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh and it has something to do with a soft, softcore interview.

[Dave Damashek]

Well this guy at least this Raceman I got to give him. He does his homework. He's right on with that. That's exactly what happened. D' Amshek lobbed leading questions like when he again air quotes asked asked Holmes to turn that on the media. And after Holmes riff on the New York media ended, Damascek said I love that and I love that. But I mean obviously you can cherry pick that. What I said was I love that. The only thing that would make that statement stronger is if you finished it. Cuz we had pretzels there. I said if you punctuate it by taking a big chomp on a pretzel like you're sniff. And he did it and it was great. It was funny. And this Raceman he's so offended. It wasn't all bad. Damoshek did mad hear sarcasm did manage to get in one probing question when he asked Pittsburgh or Jets better uniform. And then he writes we'll leave it at that.

[Adam Carolla]

This guy. How dare.

[Dave Damashek]

You know what though? That you know who's the, you know the creep of the week is Dave Damaschek. Because this Raisman character is absolutely right. How dare I? In a world where there's war in Afghanistan and kooks walking into movie theaters with automatic weapons, how dare I have fun with pro football. How dare I have a pleasant chat with a with a big personality like San Antonio? How dare I not criticize him for his behavior against Mark Sanchez? These sticks in the mud, who do they think they are? I think, I'm not sure. If they're upset that they didn't get to be Tony Kornheiser. I'm pardoning the interruption. That they didn't get a TV gig. I don't know if they're upset that they didn't get to be a big time media front page guy and somehow they found their way into sports as a backup plan as a consolation prize. But you know how I'm ashamed of myself that I haven't followed this character's path and tried to be deadly serious about the real issues that affect the New York jets chances of winning and talk about it only in serious minded tone. How dare I have fun and have a few laughs. Excuse me, Bob Raisman. I'll try and shape up. Until then, I guess I'm the creep of the week.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll say this. It's gotta be. Think about the sports, guys, is first off, you follow something that you can't participate in. You know what I mean? So, like six, number one would be you just. You have an obsession with women, but you can never fuck one. But you follow them. You. Statistically, you're aware, I think there's a

[Allison Rosen]

lot of men who are like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You're aware of all the bra sizes you do. I mean, you're insane with women, and you're obsessed with women. You have fantasy women teams and stuff like that, but you can never touch one. Like. So first order of business is you have this love since high school of sports, but you couldn't play on the high school football team. So that's a weird relationship. Now, within that, you can't get on espn. You can't do. Pardon the interruption. You can't be Bill Simmons or Dave Danishek. So what you do is now you have an obsession with women. You can't touch them. And now we're telling you you can only write about fat chicks. And no one's gonna read it. Like, it's a weird thing where you can't play the sport. You can report on the sport, but you know Jim Lampley, and no one even knows you are reporting on something that you didn't get a chance to play on.

[Caller/Listener]

Sport.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah, sorry, Bob Raisman, you should just know this. Maybe I should have made this clear at the top of the podcast before I started to indulge my foolishness with uniforms. I should have laid out the fact that I have no interest in being on Brian Gumbel self. Serious nonsense. You know, that isn't my desired end game. Apparently it is for you. Looking down, literally the only man I've ever seen literally look down his nose at a. At the person he's interviewing. Are you happy?

[Podcast Host Giovanni]

Yeah.

[Dave Damashek]

Talk to me about your arrest. Dark places for you.

[Brian Bishop]

Special glasses that sit on the tip of his nose.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he puts the glasses out there so he can look down his nose. And then he has that clipboard, just in bold print, it says, look down your nose. And then he looks down.

[Dave Damashek]

These guys. I just. These guys run around, this pack of these journalists, these sports journalists running around and shame the devil. If anybody ever asks any silly question, any fun question, because then they feel like their credibility among their peers, they basically shame each other into being the same person. Shame me, though, for not wanting to be Tad my voices to the countless people already doing exactly that.

[Allison Rosen]

And yet you got something really interesting out of him.

[Dave Damashek]

Well, that's ex. Thank you. Thank you.

[Allison Rosen]

That's what I don't get about racism.

[Dave Damashek]

Yeah. Thank you, Alison.

[Adam Carolla]

I tend to think that it's the fact that you may have got something interesting out of Santonia Homes that sparks that. Because I find usually when people react, it's because there's some. It's not. I mean, they say they're outraged, but there's. I mean, obviously I got yelled at by every woman for saying men were funnier than women. If women all just thought, well, that's insane. Women are funnier than men. Everyone knows about that. There wouldn't be. I had to strike a nerve. I had to hit a chord there. You have to touch something in someone to really get that. You know, when someone screams at you, you think I'm stupid. You think I'm done. Well, then there's a little part of them that thinks they're stupid. So maybe the fact that you're able to go someplace with San Antonio Holmes and get somewhere that was a little more entertaining or interesting than this guy may have gotten with some of his interviews. It was fun.

[Dave Damashek]

We talked about pretzels and which uniform is better and which city he likes. Goodness sakes.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we're running woefully late, as Dave Damoshek would say. Live podcast, by the way. Irvine Improv. That is next. Wednesday, August 1st, Doug Benson out on stage. I'm going to be at Buffalo. University of Buffalo center for Performing Arts. That is Saturday, July 28th. I'm going to be in Carmel, California. That's right. Racing my car. Racing my vintage automobile. And I'm going to be playing the Sunset Center. Friday, August 17, me and Dennis Prager. By the way, an evening with Adam Kroll and Dennis Prager. Houston and Phoenix. We combine the two. It's up now. It's over three and a half hours. Almost four hours. Dawson made sure we were one minute short of four hours. And number one on the spoken word on itunes. Available now. If you want to check out me and Prager. And again, Dave Damaschek. Dave Damasek football program. You can get it on itunes and you can Twitter him Amishek. All right, quick break. Much obliged. Pleasure to see everybody. Always. Candice Bailey from Attack of the show is going to be in here from G4. We'll do that right after this. All right, we are back.

[Allison Rosen]

Even realize I did. No, no, I'm a germophile.

[Candice Bailey]

Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

Sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't care. Candice bailey in here. TV show tack of the show. Weeknight, 7pm G4. Attack of the show. Feel like four or five seasons. What season are we on that show?

[Candice Bailey]

It's been a while. I don't really know. I've been there for a little over a year and a half.

[Adam Carolla]

And Candice here I was reading, was the second alternate on the junior Olympic gymnastics team. Seemed tall for that. Maybe that's your shoes.

[Candice Bailey]

Well, I am wearing like six inch heels. But no, I quit in eighth grade. And the summer that I quit, I grew like 4 inches. And then I just kept on growing. I think if I had stayed in it for another year or so, I would be real short.

[Adam Carolla]

They should have a gymnastics thing like they'll have in basketball. I have leagues that are like 6 foot and under leagues and 40 and over leagues. Then I have 5, 5 and above gymnastic leagues.

[Candice Bailey]

But there's hardly anyone that's that height. Because gymnastics stunts your growth.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it does?

[Candice Bailey]

Yeah, big time.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought only short people were. But it's not like horses stunt your growth. So jockeys would have been normal sized people.

[Allison Rosen]

Let's have fat ballet troops.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I'd like to see all of that. That would be great. Well, gymnastics stunts your growth.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't know that.

[Candice Bailey]

That's why everybody's so short. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought they were just short, like because I was part of the gig.

[Candice Bailey]

No, because I was always real short until I quit and then I grew.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait a minute. Are you saying that there's. Hold on a second. Now I know there's.

[Candice Bailey]

Maybe it's all the pounding. I don't know. Pounding and flipping.

[Adam Carolla]

There's Russians that, like, you know, the Russians would give their girls hormones so they wouldn't come into puberty or whatever it was. I understand the pharmaceutical part of it, but most girls. But are you saying this is a wacky theory of yours? Personally? Right.

[Candice Bailey]

It's for real. It's the truth.

[Adam Carolla]

Tumbling stunts your growth.

[Candice Bailey]

No, I don't know if it's tumbling. I was kidding.

[Adam Carolla]

Gymnastics stunts your growth.

[Candice Bailey]

Gymnastics in general stunts your growth.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't think that's scientifically viable. I mean, I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass.

[Candice Bailey]

No, that's okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd like to find out that it works.

[Candice Bailey]

There's one that I know that was a gymnast that, like, continued on through puberty. They were always short.

[Adam Carolla]

But that's because. That's because they'll only.

[Candice Bailey]

But their parents could be taller, but they were still short.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but they. But if they grew four inches like you, they would leave the sport. So it's a self Fulfilling process.

[Candice Bailey]

I grew because I quit.

[Adam Carolla]

All right?

[Candice Bailey]

I grew 4 inches when I quit,

[Adam Carolla]

so that wouldn't find me the dad, obviously.

[Allison Rosen]

What made you decide to quit then, if it wasn't your height?

[Adam Carolla]

Had to pursue a career in forensic science.

[Candice Bailey]

Exactly. I had Olympic gold medalist coaches, and they ended up moving to Oregon. And I grew up in Florida, and there really wasn't a place that I could get better. I would either stay the same or move away, and I wasn't really willing to do either. So I quit and I went to ballet.

[Adam Carolla]

How many hours a day did you have to go, like, when you were at your peak?

[Candice Bailey]

Six days a week, four hours a day.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you like it or.

[Candice Bailey]

I loved it. I loved it. But I was scared to death of it because I'd be doing, like, flips on a beam that was this big, you know, just praying every time I did it that I wouldn't bust my head open.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. It is crazy. The balance beam used to just be a lot of, hey, look at me. I'm balancing. You know, it's called the balance beam. Like, look, hey, drunk people, you couldn't do this. And now it's like they're doing the big flips. I mean, the flip came on the dismount, but now it's coming mid log. They're right in there, just. Yeah, surprise. And maybe people do get more.

[Candice Bailey]

Oh. And straddling the beam just. It's the worst.

[Adam Carolla]

The pommel horse. I mean, the vault, it used to be people get a good run, they'd use a pommel horse. They were, like, lazy. They went, hey, move that over here. Now they have a device that they can actually. But there's no such thing as tumbling into the vault.

[Candice Bailey]

It's crazy, right? I never did that.

[Adam Carolla]

That's insane. When they're tumbling into the vault, just running at the thing was crazy enough. Children participating in advanced to elite levels of gymnastic experience a particular pattern of skeletal maturation and growth. Artistic gymnastics. I'm sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

Artistic gymnasts, both male and female, experience a reduction of growth potential, but this is particularly pronounced in males.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Allison Rosen]

Among rhythmic gymnasts, a female's genetic predisposition for growth is not reduced because they're not significantly delayed.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so hold on a second. So I wasn't lying? No. I feel like an idiot.

[Allison Rosen]

For both artistic and rhythmic gymnasts, the prepubescent phase is prolonged and puberty shifts to a later age. The delay or lack of growth may result from continuous impact to joints and bones. You owe her an apology.

[Candice Bailey]

But rhythmic Gymnastics is more about flexibility and that sort of thing. So it doesn't really stunt your growth the same way is it gonna put.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not gonna. That can't, can't account for 4 or 5 inches. I mean those, those girls are, Those girls are 4 foot 11. 5 foot.

[Candice Bailey]

When I was in 98, they should

[Adam Carolla]

have been 5, 6.

[Candice Bailey]

Well, some of them, I mean, some of them may have always been short, but when I went into high school, I had just quit and I had grown 4 inches and was still only 5ft. I would have been real short, but in.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, this seems. I'm freaking out, man.

[Allison Rosen]

Get your daughter out of the house. Your mind is blown.

[Adam Carolla]

Officially blown.

[Candice Bailey]

Oh, tumbling is okay. How often does she do it?

[Adam Carolla]

She gets drunk, she falls down the stairs, stuff like that.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, no, she's in stumbling. Sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

She's in stumbling and bumbling. No, she doesn't do anything. I throw her around the swimming pool. I give her the launch today, but it's actually harder to give her. I have 6 year old twins and I was giving them the launch in the swimming pool and she is actually. They both are covered in sunscreen and she's wearing her little girl bathing suit, like her one piece thing. And I have to launch by putting my hands on her butt and launching.

[Allison Rosen]

Her butt?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. But her, her butt cheeks are covered with this slippery whatever.

[Allison Rosen]

He's all lubed.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's wearing the board shorts, so I'm able to get a good grab on his ass and I can launch him. I'm having a harder time with her, but all she says is again, again, again, again. Where he gets tired and he gets out and he sits around. She's just pretty. She's got a motor in her and she's pretty endless. All right, so you go from there to being a model for the Gap for Levi's kids. Yeah, Kids Gap. The kids Gap. When did you start that?

[Candice Bailey]

I think I, I think the first summer I went to New York was when I was 12 and it was just like a summer thing. My mom took me and my sister and we do kids modeling and commercials and stuff like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Now is your mom now? You probably wouldn't call her one of those stage moms.

[Candice Bailey]

No, no. But I wanted to get into it like I wanted to get into it for as long as I could remember. And she's like, you're not gonna do that. There's no way that we can do that. And then a convention came into our town and she's like, do you wanna go and I was like, yes, yes, please.

[Allison Rosen]

It's like a modeling convention.

[Adam Carolla]

I wanted to go to Space Camp. Here's the answer. Fuck that.

[Candice Bailey]

I wanted to go to Space Campbell.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you lived in Florida. You could have pulled that one off, right? They still have Space Camp or kids not give a shit anymore about Space Camp.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't know anyone who went to Space Camp, but I bet they still have it.

[Candice Bailey]

Yeah, I always float, you know, float above that thing.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want any camp where you train to do something you're never gonna do.

[Candice Bailey]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot of stuff, like archery and kayaking and stuff. Are these important skills like this gonna really come in handy one day when I'm canoeing?

[Allison Rosen]

The awful summer camp I went to, we had to lasso shit with ropes, which is very hard and not fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Not practical. Never comes in handy.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I couldn't. No, you couldn't leave to go to the. Wherever the bunker they were taking us to till you got the rope around the pole. And I couldn't do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Cabins.

[Candice Bailey]

But anyway, maybe her camp had bunkers.

[Adam Carolla]

All we have is Fat camp. Is so sad. Jewish camp and fat camp. Yeah. All right. So anyway, attack of the show. Weeknights, 7pm G4. G4 turning into its own network. I used to be all about gaming. Yes, and still a heavy part of it. Right? But I think the G4 showed the man show, didn't they?

[Brian Bishop]

Did used to have reruns of the Man Show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I remember not getting paid for that. Candice Bailey, by the way, CandiceBailey.com is where you go. You guys are right in there on La Sienna or don't tell everyone where we are. I'm sorry.

[Candice Bailey]

No, I'm just kidding.

[Adam Carolla]

Wilshire, right there. Right next to our old work. Right next to E. Right.

[Candice Bailey]

We're in the same building.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I do believe they do like, talk soup above you and all that. Ryan Seacrest, you are the dumbest person alive. What is wrong with you? And Family Guy right across the street, I think. Yeah, everything's right there. All right, should we do some news? And Candace, you just hang in and crack wise, baby girl. The news with Allison Rosen.

[Dave Damashek]

Sharif.

[Adam Carolla]

Some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's Allison. Allison. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with. Zip it.

[Steve Byrne]

Cut it.

[Adam Carolla]

Allison. Allison. Oh, I want to give some quick love to go to my PC. Don't want to be stuck in the office all summer long. No, you need to get to hell. That'll stunt your growth. And stuck in that stupid office. Go to my PC brought to you by Citrix. Turns your laptop, your iPad, your iPhone into your office computer. And get whatever you want off your office computer wherever you are. Being the Starbucks. Putting the swizzle stick back into the place. Polluting. I can't believe you did everybody else. Yeah, it's weird.

[Allison Rosen]

Now I'm gonna have to double.

[Adam Carolla]

If I actually thought it ever hurt anybody, I wouldn't do it. Connect directly to your office, Mac or PC from your home or anywhere else. Wherever. Wherever you are. That's right. Go to my PC free. You can try it for free. Special 45 day free trial only if you use the promo code Adam Visit. Go to my PC.com, click on the Try it free button. And remember, use the promo code AM Good guys, good sponsors, great product. And you can try it for free. All right, Allison Russell.

[Allison Rosen]

So lead story and something we haven't yet really talked about on the show, the tragedy in Aurora, Colorado. I think everyone is pretty up to speed on all the details, but Mad Men shot up a Colorado movie theater. It was the Dark Knight premiere and he killed 12 people. He injured 58, so 70 people in total. His apartment was booby trapped. And everyone's saying that that was to harm law enforcement. I don't know why they don't think that that was to harm a neighbor. Maybe because he had techno music blaring out of his apartment and the door was unlocked for one hour and a neighbor even went up and then decided not to go in. But the authorities are saying they've never seen anything on the order of the way. He had all the circuits and everything booby trapped. He had like different chemicals. He had explosives. It would have caused mass destruction. Everyone was evacuated from the building that's in there. His hair was dyed red. When they apprehended him, he said he was the Joker. He's like a huge Batman fan. He was wearing bulletproof everything. He had four. All the guns he had were legally bought. He had 6,000 rounds. He had a hundred round magazine. And yeah, he was super intelligent. Neuroscience student.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So weird. Well, a couple things. First off, I always like to call, I like to call it a massacre and not a tragedy because I feel like when we give it the tragedy thing, and I know it's a semantic, but that's for tornadoes and dams breaking and stuff like that. This guy's a fucking madman and for some reason it takes it. He's a murderer. You know what I Mean, and it's like. I wouldn't call it the Manson tragedy. I'd just call it a murder and a massacre. And that's number one. It also helps, by the way, when it comes to hopefully killing this guy. But I always say, and it was funny, bizarre, that we were talking sort of about concealed weapons and the right to carry concealed weapons and all that just before this happened. And what my feelings were about it, and there's. I have many feelings. One is, I don't know what you do. Like, there are more guns than there are citizens in the United States. So it's really hard to get this horse back into the barn because it's. It's out there. And I've never been a fan of guns and certainly not a fan of selling assault rifles to citizens. That seems insane to me.

[Allison Rosen]

I just don't understand why anyone needs weapons whose sole purpose is for strafing human beings.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't. Nobody needs it. What happens, as I've said many times, what the NRA does is they do what the smokers should have done, which is they argue every single piece of legislation, every single point, because they never want it to get to the handgun part. I don't think the NRA really cares about assault rifles, for instance. But if you can argue over assault rifles constantly, you'll never get to their handguns or whatever they have at their home. Do you see what I'm saying? So what they do, like I always joke about with the smokers, is they told the smokers, hey, you know, they should smoke in a restaurant. Go smoke on that side of the restaurant. We'll make a section for you smokers. All the smokers got up and went over there, and then they said, go to the bar. You can't smoke in the restaurant. They all said, okay. And they all sat at the bar, and then they said, no smoking in the bar. Go outside. And they all got up and went outside, and then they said, no smoking in front of the restaurant. You gotta go down the street. And then they went down the street, and then they said, no smoking in the park. And that's what happened. Now, the NRA would still be arguing over smoking in the restaurant, even if it made sense. You see, it makes sense. Like smokes. That's what smokers did. They went, oh, okay, we understand. We're smoke around this people. Go smoke on our own thing, and there's got to be left. NRA's thing is we fight everything all the time, and we'll never budge, and we'll Never get. You'll start your argument with assault rifles. That's A. And then B is, you know, rifles or handguns or something. And then it's clips and cop killer bullets and whatever. But you'll never get to any of the stuff we care about because we're going to continuously argue about one thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Does anyone know what the NRA's argument is for Uzis?

[Allison Rosen]

Like Second Amendment? It's that it's just letter of the law. I believe it is that the second amendment protects our right to bear arms and that we need to be able to arm ourselves against a government that's gonna turn on us.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Which is insane.

[Allison Rosen]

But thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

The other thing too is, I mean they do have stuff about guns. You're not allowed to buy it, I don't think full automatic ones, but you can convert them to full automatic. And even if they're semi automatic, as fast as you can squeeze the trigger, you'd be surprised how many rounds you can squeeze off this whole thing.

[Allison Rosen]

He was shooting for like two or three minutes.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the other thing. So there's really nothing. You're not going to do anything about crazy people. You're not going to do anything about access to prescription medications. You're not going to do much about getting guns if you really want to get guns, unfortunately. So we have this horrible soup that we've cooked up that's a recipe for disaster. And really I was thinking about it today because I've always said God forbid, but I've always said terrorists. Their next attack should just be a coordinated. We're going to 50 malls all across the country and at 2pm Eastern time, doors locked and banana clips and AK47s and we'll get a body count that rivals that of 9, 11. Like they could do it, it could be done and it's pretty easily done. And there's really nothing to stop somebody from carrying a guitar case with an AK47 and a bunch of banana clips in it and just going into any mall and doing anything at any time or many events. Now you couldn't do it at the super bowl, but you could do it at the movie theater if you hadn't

[Allison Rosen]

been eerily spot on the last few times you've said things like about the concealed weapons and about Fred Willard. I wouldn't be sort of getting chills right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Unfortunately, it's true. Now as I was thinking about it today, I think the only thing, and this is a theory, I mean this is an idea. You guys tell me what you think I think the only thing that really can combat this is basically a version of sky marshals through the United States. Meaning a guy, you know, not if you have a mon pa. You know, like. Like if you got a little movie theater that's in, you know, Montana and it hold. Has got 80 seats in it, and then it's showing. It's showing Howard the Duck. Like, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking the megaplex. I'm talking about.

[Brian Bishop]

They're not gonna be around much longer.

[Adam Carolla]

If they are. Oh, Howard the duck in 3D.

[Dave Damashek]

Oh, yes.

[Steve Byrne]

Take it back.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, you. You go over to the growing. What the fuck you gonna do with the Grove? You know, there's a couple guys with walkie talkies and pepper spray. I think the only way to really prevent any of this stuff happening is to have a sky marshal version of what's going on. Which is the Grove place. The size of the Grove would have.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a mall here in Los Angeles.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. A large. Ish. Farmer's Market. Grove. Whatever. I'm only saying it because you've probably seen it on TV when you watch Entertainment Tonight. There's Mario Lopez or whatever it is. You've seen it. You've seen enough TMZ or whatever to kind of know what the Grove is. But Mall of America, whatever it is, is to have four or five dudes, plain clothes, walking around, pretending like they're shopping. Sky marshals, just basically full time packing, you know, that's it. And we're going to have to charge an extra dime for every gallon of gas or some sort of way to pay these guys. You know, maybe the. Because maybe if you have a. Let's just say you have a movie theater complex with more than three theaters, then you're gonna have to charge $0.50 more per ticket for these guys. And then these guys are gonna have to just mill around.

[Allison Rosen]

Would this be. Would they be military? Or is this like. Would we outsource this?

[Adam Carolla]

Whatever. Whatever we do. Like I said, like a version of sky marshals. Like, I don't know if they're cops. I mean, they're law enforcement people with special training and whatever. Now, it's not that this guy would be in that theater at that time. It's that the terrorists would never know where this guy was. So. Sky marshals. I talked to a sky marshal and he told me they're on, like, he told me not to say, but they're on an alarmingly low percentage of flights, like single ditch. But all you need for terrorists or these guys is to have in the back of their mind, if I'm going. If I'm gonna go to the Grove and I'm gonna bring my. Whatever these guys could be there, will be. There, might be there. And I don't know who they are, and.

[Candice Bailey]

But do you think these people would actually care? I mean, he was a psychopath.

[Podcast Host Giovanni]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, this is more. Well, yes. I don't think it's weird because psychopaths, even. Psychopaths wear body armor.

[Candice Bailey]

Yeah, that's true.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. I do that when I say something important, like they're psychopaths, but they do understand the concept of being shot by some guy at the theater who may have a gun. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Is this guy still alive?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, he is.

[Brian Bishop]

I've been out of town since.

[Allison Rosen]

He's in. He's in prison and they have to keep him in solitary and they had to black out his windows because everyone else in jail is saying they want to kill him. So they're saying that if they had him in with the General Pop. How I speak now, then he would not even make it. He's going to be arraigned Monday.

[Adam Carolla]

General Pop. Good gay porn name, by the way.

[Allison Rosen]

Here's the thing, though.

[Adam Carolla]

You know anything about porn lingo?

[Allison Rosen]

Your sky marshal idea.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Allison Rosen]

It'd be so much better to be the sky marshal in all the new releases than to be the one who has to fly to France and then back or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You'd want to go to the Cornwall.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. There could be some good jobs in there.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Like. I'm just saying, look, it's never going to prevent, you know, Columbine. It's just, you know, it's hard to prevent things that don't involve logic or reason. Like, you know, when you have. You know, when you open a bank, you build a vault and then you put a guy outside the vault. Because that makes sense. If a guy wants to drive his truck through the front door and run over old people, it's hard to prevent that. And that was our problem with 9 11. We weren't doing the suicide terrorists. We're doing the. Somebody's gonna take a van and park it in the. Under the parking structure, one of the towers. And then he's gonna leave and we're gonna protect. We weren't thinking. These guys take planes over and kill themselves, so. So now and again, once you eliminate the part where you're trying to get away with the crime, you fucked over people trying to prevent you from causing the crime because you trying to get away factors in quite a bit. If you're willing to die during this crime, then it's really hard to present, prevent that crime. If your thing is like, I'm gonna rob a bank, but I don't care if I leave with the money or not, I'll just die in the bank, we're gonna have a hard time preventing that.

[Allison Rosen]

I know. And a number of people tweeted, like, just one person with a gun in the theater could have prevented this. Like, no, he was completely covered in armor. You could not have, actually. And I figured, Adam, that you would probably want to know about his parents. And this is what I know he grew up in a.

[Adam Carolla]

But would you guys do my Sky Marshall Plan? Would you pay whatever region you're in, would you pay an extra dime for a gallon of gas? If somebody said, we're going to take 500 guys, plain clothes guys, put pieces on them, and we're going to have them at the malls, at the movie theaters, at the. Wherever, at. You know, and milling about, just. Just that guy, probably because to that

[Brian Bishop]

point, I have season tickets for usc, obviously. And every time I go to a game, I have this weird thing in the back of my mind, like, someone could fuck this place up. You know what I mean? Limited number of eggs. 92,000 people. So, yes, Field marshal, or field marshals. Air marshals for sporting events specifically would be a fantastic idea.

[Candice Bailey]

I was just at Comic Con and masses and masses of people, and there's nothing to get in. Like, I didn't have to go through anything.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Candice Bailey]

And I was just. I was. For the first time, I was so nervous. I was like, somebody could do so much damage at this. At this place and hurt so many people.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Candice Bailey]

So, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What were you saying? Sorry?

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, I was saying that I figured you might want to know about his parents.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Allison Rosen]

He grew up in a nice community, San Diego. Churchgoing family. His parents, I believe, are together. This is all I know. Her name is Arlene Rosemary Holmes. She's a registered nurse.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, boy. Imagine how much of that, you know, when the kid brings home an F in biology. They do a lot of. Your son brought home an F today in biology. You know, the parents. Imagine how much that's getting tossed around this time, I'm sure.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that was the police. We'd like to know what your son's.

[Adam Carolla]

Your son? Yes. They wanted to come through and search your son's room. All right, sorry.

[Dave Damashek]

How old is this kid?

[Allison Rosen]

And he's 24. The father, Robert Holmes Sr. Is a senior scientist in the San Diego office of fico. I didn't know that FICO had scientists. Yeah. And Robert, the father, had a ton of degrees who had degrees from Stanford, ucla, Berkeley. And the mother, when she was called up and told that, you know, we have this suspect, we think it might be your son, she said, you have the right person.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Candice Bailey]

Oh, she knew. She knew he was crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Obviously she knew something. It hasn't come out exactly what she knew, but what every article about it says is speaking on gut instinct. You have the right person. I have to call it. I have to come to Colorado.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Nancy.

[Allison Rosen]

Wow. Oh. And he had been a camp counselor,

[Adam Carolla]

but my mom would do that a little bit north of Glendale. My mom would definitely do that. That's why I wish my mom was black. Black mamas don't work that way. That can actually be shown surveillance footage of that. That ain't Anthony. That's not that Anthony. Yeah, they'll fight. They'll fucking take swings at cops and yell, that's not my boy. My boy's not violent as are swinging at cops, but whitey. We're like, oh, yeah, sorry. That was coming. That's my boy. Yeah, it's that thing we always talk about. You have an adult child, there's something wrong with them, but they are not going to seek help. You can't get them to seek help.

[Candice Bailey]

I'm so curious as to what that

[Allison Rosen]

was, that she knew about that. Yeah, I know. I wonder that as well.

[Candice Bailey]

Mother would just say, yeah, you've got my boy.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sure they've had many a conversation that led to this. And, I mean, that led to her thinking that there's something deeply, deeply wrong with her son. We don't have any system in place that can prevent this. We don't have anyone in the movie theater that can spot this guy or shoot this guy. And we don't have any recourse for a parent to get their adult child. And if they do, they get 5150'd you know, they get put in for three days and then pushed back out. And the only thing it does is piss them off at Thanksgiving next year. But there's really nothing. We don't have anything in place to do this. And we have lots of prescription drugs, lots of booze, lots of illegal drugs, lots of legal guns, lots of illegal guns, and lots of go on the Internet and figure anything out. You want to booby trap your apartment, go ahead and go on the Internet and figure that out. And by the way, of course, that was for a neighbor. You wouldn't turn the music up and then leave the door unlocked.

[Allison Rosen]

And he told me, you know, when they arrested him, he didn't put up any fight and he said he's a joker. And he told him that his apartment was booby trapped. Very creepy.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a certain percentage of. I've always believed that there's a certain percentage. I'm not into God, but I am into nature. And I've always believed that there's a certain percentage of any creatures that are going to be born. It's funny. Well, not funny ha ha, but they're going to be born. The certain amount of killers are going to be born within society.

[Allison Rosen]

That's not hilarious.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and a certain amount of gay folk and a certain amount of dead folk, like there's a certain amount of folks that aren't. I think we attempt. I think nature does not want us to overpopulate our planet. And I have this theory about X percentage are gonna be gay and not do it. And X percentage are gonna be killers and take out people and X percentage are gonna be stillborn, sorry, gays for lumping you in with the mass murders and the stillborns. But I've always had this theory that there's always a certain amount of. There's always going to be. I don't know percentage wise if there's any more killers now than there were 500 years ago, but they had musket balls back then, you know what I mean? Like there's access to things. There's only so much you could do with a knife back then. You could be Jack the Ripper in London and dismember prostitutes in, you know, 17, whatever. But that could only get you so far because you never had banana clips and AK47s or AR15s or whatever the hell they're using. So now, now we have the same percentage of people who are going to try to kill their, their, their fellow human beings. But we've given them this modality to take out infinitely more human beings. Airplanes into skyscrapers. Buildings weren't higher than two stories and we didn't have airplanes that had less than two wings. Now we have jumbo jets filled with jet A and buildings that go up to the sky. And now we have a modality for a fellow human being to take out multiple human beings. You know, interesting.

[Brian Bishop]

It's very like existential, philosophical thought you had there. There's no way to, you know, quantify

[Adam Carolla]

it, but it's so we are going to have to now figure out how

[Allison Rosen]

to deal, how to identify them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And then, I don't know what, though, what do you do, contain them, Medicate them? Because you can't. Because then, because then you can't all of a sudden point to someone and say like, oh, I don't like about, I don't like Bob Bryan. I'm threatened by him and I think that he's up to something and then get him locked away, unfortunately.

[Adam Carolla]

But the point is this. Yeah. Hey, wait a minute. No, there's. That's it. And then of course, you know that society of. Oh, the slippery slope of. So the guy was a little depressed, so we had him incarcerated and sent him to a gulag for troubled teens. You know, Kafka esque.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's.

[Candice Bailey]

How can you prove it?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. So I have always said this first line of defense, Family, everything for everything. You know, why is the dropout rate so high amongst this group or that group? Why is the suicide rate, you know, why is this family, family, family, family that will never replace that. There's no way. When the mom said, oh, I know she knew something we didn't know a long time before we knew it. It's going to be up to the families. And as far as what's up to society, society must do a better job of informing the family members. Society is never going to take the place of the family because it's impossible for us to know all the troubled teens out there. And even if you're a counselor at a high school or a college, it's still going to be impossible for you to know. But what we can do and what we don't do is instead of click it or ticket or commercials about boating safety. I've seen PSAs about boating safety all the time. I don't even know anyone who owns a boat. Secondly, I don't know how many Americans drown. I don't give a fuck. I don't need. I really, I don't need Larry Wilcox telling me he was in chips telling me to put a life preserver on every time I go out on the lake. I don't feel like it poses. And by the way, if you would like to go sailing without your life vest on, that's your fucking business. Another dumb mariner in Davy Jones locker, that's your goddamn business. But if you have a trouble, no respect for the sea, I just don't care. But if you have a troubled child who could do harm to themselves or worse, society someone else. We need as A society to get to you as parents. We need to have commercials that say, is your child depressed? Does he exhibit these qualities? Yes. If so, call this number or whatever it is.

[Allison Rosen]

A lot of people who say that we shouldn't be discussing this. We shouldn't be saying his name out loud. We should not be glorifying him. We should just put him down and move on. And I feel like there is value in finding out what were the signs.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't. But see, here's what I say all the time. You have the kid, the gay student who jumps off the bridge, Washington Bridge, right? And we turn that into cyberbullying, and we run with it. We don't talk about depression or teen suicide. We have another thing. We have the guy go off on Georgia, if I was. Fuck it up. Always Georgia Tech.

[Allison Rosen]

Virginia Tech.

[Adam Carolla]

Virginia Tech. The Virginia Tech guy does the massacre, by the way. He gets, I don't know, 30 something people. I mean, that's this guy and himself. But he gets a huge body count. And we never really talk. We talk about what took so long for the, you know, why didn't his counselor notice anything, and what took so long for police to arrive. But we never really get into his parents and signs of depression. And we never look into this antisocial behavior. We miss the real teachable experiences. 32 dead at Virginia Tech. We. There are teachable, learnable experiences that can come from these situations. And we don't really get into them. We gloss over them and we start getting into the particulars. Like, then we start arguing over, well, why could he? He shouldn't have been able to buy a gun.

[Allison Rosen]

You know, I'm guilty about focusing on the gun aspect, and it's true.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, you're right. But that's not gonna stop this. What is? If we really are interested as a society of eliminating this, and we'll never eliminate it, but at least ret producing this, then let's treat it like we treat everything else. Like we do that thing. Like, look, you're pregnant. You know, don't smoke, don't drink, stay away from fish. It has too much mercury. I mean, think about the laundry list of shit we have for pregnant women. Which is, by the way, a couple of drinks and a drag off a cigarette ain't gonna kill the fetus anyway. But either way, we have a long laundry list of things to do with your kids and your unborn fetus and all that kind of shit, but there's nothing. We never get into any of this stuff, and we don't like psychology. It scares us. It freaks us out because we're pretty religious, and somehow religion and psychology can't exist in the same society. Although I don't understand why. Maybe God invented that Jew with the patches on his sleeves and the bad corduroy blazer who's asking you not to blame your parents.

[Caller/Listener]

Hmm?

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. So we should. And the news should be approaching this from a psychological standpoint and not a what about gun legislation. And that's all part of the conversation, but let's focus on this part of it. It's gone. I mean, like I said, this whole cyberbullying thing and the kid who jumped off the bridge and stuff. There was no discussion about teen suicide and that whole thing. Look, you can't have a first year roommate get you to kill yourself unless you're suicidal. And we brushed it.

[Allison Rosen]

And you're not gonna go into a theater and kill a bunch of people. Unless you're a maniac.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, and mama knew, and mama couldn't do anything about it. And I bet if you talked to mama, she'd say, I wish there was a phone number. I wish I saw some commercial in late night TV that said, you displaying these qualities, call this number. We can help them.

[Candice Bailey]

What would happen once you called that number? Someone takes your kid away?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

Therapy or something, whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, there's no cure all for any of this stuff. But the first thing you do is you admit there's a problem. And then the second thing you do as a society is you do your best to prevent it. We skim past that and we get into, you know, video games and violent video games, and with all the buzz stuff that we love to. The news loves to just glom onto all the dumb stuff and skim right past the real story. All right, let's bring it home, baby girl. I'm getting depressed.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Tip it C.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the news with Allison Rosen. Candace, what's going on with you? Single? Married? Seeing somebody? Oh, no. Boyfriend? Don't want to talk?

[Allison Rosen]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe, maybe, maybe. I know what it's like. I know the game. You know I know the game.

[Allison Rosen]

No, I'm all blushing.

[Adam Carolla]

Beautiful on television. Got a publicist that says, don't say you're dating that guy. Screw things up for him. I always felt horrible because my dancing partner from Dancing with Stars, Julianne Hough, had a boyfriend. Like a full time boyfriend.

[Allison Rosen]

But she ground her pelvis into yours.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm hmm. Into a fine powder, by the way. No but she's beautiful, she's blonde. She can kick her leg up past her head. And so whenever she would do these interviews, it'd be like, and who you dating? And she'd be like, I'm single. You know? And it was like, I always felt bad for a stupid boyfriend. Watch a fucking interview going, hello, Right. Hello, over here. I'm here. We're dating. Hello. I got you a present last year for Christmas. Remember me? Remember the guy got you the Whitman's Assort assorted box of chocolate? That's. That's this dude over here. And she had to say it because it was good. Good for her image.

[Allison Rosen]

Like, does it actually affect. I mean, is there proof or is that just the idea?

[Adam Carolla]

If you're in a boy band and, you know, you're 17, 18, 19, and every 13 year old in the planet's got your poster up and is in love with you and thinks they could be the next whatever your last name is, you're dating some chick who's a producer or something. They keep it. They keep it on the down low because why? It's not going to help. And it's one of these things where it's like, I'm not going to date the 13 year old from Nebraska anyway, so let her drink. Know what I'm saying? That's what I say about you people. That's right. I'm single. Dream on. Evoice. Oh, yeah. This ain't a dream. This is reality. Evoice. Awesome. For a business person on the move. You can download the Evoice app to your smartphone. You can manage your business while you're on the go. Calls get screened automatically. I know our own Allison Rosen is in love with this.

[Allison Rosen]

I am love.

[Adam Carolla]

Answer urgent calls now. Let the rest go to voicemail. Professionally recorded customized greetings, menus, and more. It's what you need if you have a business or if you're just someone who wants to appear to be professional, even if you're a mess inside like Allison. Click on the E Voice banner.

[Allison Rosen]

Mess inside. British woman answers your phone.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. You don't know. Hello? She can't come to the phone now. Please leave a message on her telly.

[Allison Rosen]

Very important.

[Adam Carolla]

Meanwhile, you're making yourself vomit, eating more and then doing it again. But they don't know that.

[Allison Rosen]

No, but I actually. I said, please say Allison can't come to the phone right now. She's eating and making herself vomit and then eating more.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. They wouldn't do that.

[Allison Rosen]

They thought it was weird.

[Adam Carolla]

They're pros.

[Allison Rosen]

They saved me for myself.

[Adam Carolla]

Click on the evoice banner on AdamCarolla.com or go to www.evoice.com Adam and sign up for six months free. That's right. Try it out for six months evoice your mobile phone at work. All righty then. My book, not Taco Bell material. Still out as we speak. Allison Rosen is your new best friend. Available now on our app or itunes. Dave Holmes, who I love so much. Oh no, wait. I'm thinking about Pete Holmes.

[Caller/Listener]

Sorry.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh yeah, you would love Dave Holmes as much.

[Adam Carolla]

I hate his guts. Live show, by the way, August 9th at Nerdmelt with Pete Holmes. That's the Pete Holmes I know. Allisonrosen.com for tickets and more info. Candace Bailey Attack of The show weeknights, 7pm on G4. Candicebailey.com is the website. Candice Bailey 5 is the Twitter.

[Candice Bailey]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks, sweetheart. Come back anytime you like.

[Candice Bailey]

I would love to. Y' all are great.

[Adam Carolla]

So and until next time, this is Adam Crow for Dave Damaschek, Candice Bailey, Allison Rosen, and bald Brian Saiyan.

[Allison Rosen]

Mahala I don't like bald Bryan. I'm threatened by him and I think that he's up to something.

[Podcast Host Giovanni]

All right, that was Adam. Cool show. 873. It's always fun getting these episodes with Dave Damaschek from 2012. That does it for today's cruel classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for an all new installment. Until then,

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[Adam Carolla]

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