
‘Tis the season to revisit the best ACS moments of 2024 and announce the winners for classic categories such as: Best Impression, Best Musical Moment, Most Uncomfortable Moment, Guest of the Year, Interview of the Year, Rant of...
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Adam Carolla
Well, you love comedy. You're comedy fans. That's why you're listening to this podcast. And the funniest comedians in the world are on tour right now and you can get tickets to see them live near you. So they're traveling and you're bringing the mountain to Mohammed. They're coming to your town. You don't have to go to their town to see them. And they got huge names in comedy. Otsuko Okotuka is coming out. Maybe not a household name, but I bet if you're listening, you know comedy, you love Otsuko. Bill Burr. Well, there's a guy, you know, Sebastian Maniscalco is coming to town near you. And so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. So head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy. and get caught up on all the comedy. Well, the day you've waited for all year is upon us. It's the best of the Adam Carolla show. It's the 2024 ACE Awards and that's right after this. Did you know you can watch all your favorite crime shows for free on Pluto tv? Totally free. Totally free. They've got csi, New York, ncis, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods Tracker, FBI, swat, all for free. There's something suspicious going on here. Nothing suspicious, just hundreds of free crime shows on Pluto tv. Crime never pays. And neither do I. Pluto TV stream now. Pay never. Hey, fans of freedom and open discussion. I'm heading over to Substack and there's an ad free audio and video version of the Adam Carolla show that's going to be waiting there in the near future. You'll even be able to watch ACS live unedited as we record it. Participate in the show via live chat that'll be coming up very soon. You also get an ad free version of the Adam Kroll and Dr. Drew show. You also get an exclusive to my new podcast, Beat it out, where I share unpolished ideas with my comedian buddies. The first series of episodes is going to be J. Moore. You'll get all this and more for the low, low price of nine bucks a month. A pittance for all we're going to bring you subscribe now@adamcarolla.com substack and I'll see all of you in our new speakeasy called Substack from the historic Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California. It's the 2024 ACE Awards celebrating the best of the Adam Corolla show this. And now your host, Adam Corolla. Well, thank you guys. As we go into 15 years of podcasting. Actually, we're into 15. We're hitting 15, I think, as I recall. No, I think we're hitting 16. Jesus, we got to figure that one out. We're hitting 16. This is crazy. I mean, my longest running job, let's see, carpentry, I got about 12 years in there. 11, 12 loveline. I got a decade morning show. I got about three years, three or four months. That is so weird. I wonder if someone got hold of me when I was in high school and was like your job, your profession, the longest running job you're going to have. And I would have thought it would have been working at the Flask Liquor on Ventura Boulevard back then, but they would have gone podcasting. And I wonder what the hell is that? So blessed. Sitting in my studio that I built and sitting in the warehouse that I bought 20 something years ago, talking to some of the most interesting people in the world. And it's all because of you guys. The fact that we all have jobs that aren't real jobs and get to do this instead of a real job is really because you people listen and you share. And I love going out on the road and doing a comedy show and seeing the father son team or the mother daughter team come in and say, oh, my mom got me hooked on it and now I'm listening to it. So of course it would be impossible without you. But I do wake up every once in a while and I just think, God, thank God I don't have a regular job now. I had enough regular jobs from 0 to 30 to fill 10 life times. So I understand it. I'm glad I've been there and I've done that and I'm glad I have an A and a B and something to contrast this with and thus appreciate it. So thank you so much. I don't know the winners. I don't know anything about this. This is lynch, this is Dawson, this is Preno. These are all the guys putting this together, so I will be as surprised to listen to it as you. And our first category is best impressions. The nominees for best impression are. Jay Farrow as Bernie Mac. Yeah, I was doing impressions and I was talking about pop culture, whatever was happening. I mean, what was hot at that time, R. Kelly was, you know, that was the first round of the R. Kelly situation. So I talked about him as Bernie Mac and I would talk about him as the Crocodile Hunter and I talked about Janet Jack. Justin Timberlake whipped out Janet Jackson's breasts. I think I remember that. Bernie Mac. It's probably not as funny now, because I was. I was. I was 16 when I did this. That was like I said. I said, you whooped. You whooped out a breast. And let's talk about. I said, let's talk about motherfucker. R. Kelly. You knew there was a motherfucking child. Let me tell you how you knew. You took off a shirt. She had on the training bra. No, motherfucker put mature, got on no training bra. You wanted that young kitten. You wanted that young sugar. That's what you like. People were laughing. I was a kid. Tyler Fisher as Ben Shapiro and Bill Burr. I'm more of a daily wire watcher. Thank you. And I do have to say that this episode is brought to you by ExpressVPN. Use code Burcham for 15% off. Thank you. I always like to imagine Ben, like, just doing ads all the time because he cuts to an ad every five seconds. He's. He's seamless. He's giving a eulogy to his best friend. As we know, Greg wrapped his car around a telephone pole. He did not get enough sleep the night before. If only he'd been using a helium sleep mattress, this never would have happened. Use RIP Greg for 10% off helium sleep mattress. Sleep like your life depends on it. All right. Yeah. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, right? This is brutal, right? Freaking brutal. Well, you're a white guy, Bill, right? I don't know, but I got a black wife, right? She's always bitching at me, right? Watching Oprah Gang. That's fucking brutal. It's gotta be tough going out, doing your set, and then coming home to a woman who's critiquing you that way, right? And I can't. Oh, you're racist. Oh, he's racist, right? It's happening on a Monday. I don't know. I'm just being a dick. Aries Spears as Tony Soprano. I always say, man, doing impressions, it's like being a singer. How singers have an ear for tone, inflection, cadence, nuance. Everybody's voice is a note. So, you know, Louie's got that potato, potato. You say to my du, let's call. So he's got that. And even when I do Tony Soprano, you know, fuck that Uncle Judy. Think he's under bush, right? Running New Jersey. But Uncle Judy's not. I'm the kick of the bush in New Jersey. All my guys know that. Push Is so Christopher. Even uncle doing a dirty shack. So you know, with Tony it's the. Shh. Like Hesh talking about Hesh and Jad, man, you're in pocket. Darryl Hammond as Truman Capote I feel like it's an SNL sketch to have Truman Capote read In Cold Blood. Well, that's not a bad idea. The village of Hokum stands on the highway plains of western Kansas, A lonesome area that other Kansans call out there. The local accent is barbed with the prairie twang and ranch hand nasalness. And the men, many of them wear narrow frontier trousers, Stetson's and high heeled boots with pointy toes. Godfrey as Katt Williams, Shannon Sharp and Samuel L. Jackson. I think we're all intrigued by Cat Williams. Intriguing as hell. Whether he's telling the truth or not, he just. You just can't help but listen to him talk. Yeah, that's what he sounds like. Adam Carolla, one of the best podcasts I've ever heard. Tell us more, Cat. Like, I just understand. Steve Harvey couldn't be a superstar. He couldn't be. They ain't going to pick no bumbling country bumpkin man like you looking like Mr. Potato Head. That was. How about Cedric the Entertainer looking like a walrus? Not a, not a Cedric the Entertainer fan, cat. And he goes, he's like, oh, come on, Cat. That's Janice Shaw. Listen, man, welcome to Club Shay Shay. I gotta drink some of this. More cognac. I can't play cat. Man. I thought all you comedians, I thought the comedians all hung together, man. I've been in NFL for a long time and I'm gonna tell you this right now. I did not know that you didn't like all these people, man. Let me get more some of this cognac. I want to see a white guy. I'll be mad if they have a black evil knee. But like Samuel Jackson will be. I said, I'm not jumping the goddamn trucks. It's too fucking fine. Wow. Every year we do this and every year and I think it's my wiring pilot, possibly my no to low self esteem. I always think, well, what good moments are they going to find in the show? I don't remember any. I mean, I know people said stuff, but they're going to find that much good stuff and then they do. So here it is. Run veiling. Right. The winner, Daryl Hammond. And he just did one impression. We had multiple impressions in there, but that was, I mean, Truman Capote reading in True Blood was sort of insane. And I do recall talking to him about there actually being a tape of Truman Capote reading that book, that. The novel that he wrote. Anyway, what's it called? What did I say? In True Blood. I didn't mean In True Blood. In Cold Blood. In Cold Blood. Either way, we'll be sending the statuette out to Darryl as we speak. All right, next up, our first installment of Rant of the Year. Our first nominee for Rant of the Year, Shop Class. I know. I've been screaming about this subject for over 25 years, ever since I started seeing all these commercials. I'm Sheryl Crow, and this is for the music. We need to bring music back into kids and classrooms. And there was this whole big push in the mid-90s of the arts in school. School and the arts, music. And there was always. They do this fucking bullshit where they go, like, turns out kids who have mastered the oboe are three times more likely to go college. Yeah. Cause they have parents. They bought him a fucking oboe and they practice something. Yeah. For three hours a day. If you do that with anything, you'll be three times better at math than anybody else. It's all bullshit. We have to expose them to art. We have to expose them to music. It's not worth a fucking nickel once you get out of high school. Then I would yell, we need trades programs. We need to bring back shop class. Yeah. Not fucking Sheryl Crow or the fucking oboe. We need shit shop class back in school. This is 1994. And everyone just look at me go, were you such a hater for. There's kids. They need a skill. They're not. The oboe's not. They're not playing the oboe. And they go. I go, why don't we have shop class? Yeah. Because music opens their mind up. They don't have a skill. They need a job. No, no. Music makes them think better. Like, oh, shut the up. Where is shot? Who's running the schools? Yeah. Who's running the la. Unified? Yeah. I mean, the number one chick is just a fucking angry lesbian with no kids. What's her nose. The one with the bobcat who gets up there and screams about where they need more money. Wine garden. That fucking old coos. You think she cares about shop class? And they're all just a bunch of angry chicks who are on a mission to fucking poison your brain about Hamas. Not teach you about shop. They don't give a fuck about shop. They want to teach you lesbian poetry. They don't want to teach you about shop. They're not interested in shop. Who's running the schools? A bunch of fucking cowards that shut down for two years because of COVID You think those pussies care about shop? It's a bunch of henpecked homos and a bunch of crazy, angry fucking lesbians. That's who's running the schools. And they don't give two shits. If Mike Rowe was running yeah. Schools, then we'd have shop. If Adam Carolla was running schools, then we'd have shop. This is kind of true. You take these people, you put them in charge, and you get what they got. I mean, it'd be. If you took these. If you took these yentas and you just went, you're in charge of the TV set, then you would never see another hockey game as long as you lived. Isn't that how it would work? Well, they'd be in charge of the TV set, and it'd be a lot of Real Housewives in new jerseys and everything else, but you would never see another hockey game. So that would be it. And then you would sail all the way through from first grade to 12th grade without ever hearing the word hockey or puck or goalie. So that's pretty much how it works. Which. But then when you got out of high school, there'd be a lot of opportunity for hockey, except where you wouldn't know anything about hockey because you pass signs going, we're looking for hockey players. And you wouldn't have a job, but you wouldn't know anything about hockey because you were watching Real Housewives of Ventura County. Yeah, okay, that's good. I don't want to do a rant on top of a rant. Glad shrink fill my soul fresh Glad stretch Let's drink with sins to take you back Grandma's place always smells like pine she said, get out the chat room and clean mine Glad Stretch Feeling pine so fresh The Glad girl group coming at you with a throwback jam. That was Glad Force Flex Drawstring Trash bags featuring Pine Sol original scent. And that's better than all good. It's all glad. We all need a moment to really breathe, so here's your chance to take a deep breath in. Now give a nice long exhale and repeat another 10 or so times. This healthy suggestion is brought to you by Regent's Blue Cross Blue Shield of Oregon. Together we Health Interview of the Year, first installment, Russell Brand. Our first nominee for Interview of the Year, Russell Brand. And I certainly feel like a outsider. I felt like a nice outsider for a lot of my life, actually, and certainly Even I've got to tell you, even when being sort of condemned, attacked, accused of things that I have not done, I feel like that was sort of insidiously present within that is that even while I was sleeping around as a profligate and self centered womanizer, you are not allowed to be a profligate, self centered womanizer. You are too weird. You're not like a Ryan Gosling or a handsome regular guy. You're too quirky. You shouldn't be allowed to, to sleep with a bunch of women. It can't have been legit, you know. So I in a sense have a sympathy for people that are unusual. And I also am mindful of how easy it is to kind of condemn, damn shame, make false allegations and create conditions that legitimize persecutions of unusual people. And I think that the only way that this tension is ever going to be alleviated is if there is a kind of consensus among us that there is no longer a centralized culture, that whether you are an Anglo kind of person in Australia, America or our country, the UK, and identify with the dominant culture that might be football and beer and Christianity, or if you're a progressive person who identifies with gender fluidity and, and whatever tableau of ideas coalesce around that, there's got to be a kind of right for those kind of groups to live together. And your point of retraumatization and agitation, I think is an interesting one because it doesn't seem like the end goal is harmony and conciliation. And yet that is always the kind of ideological undergirding. We should be inclusive, we should be diverse. And I'm mindful now, as a recent convert to Christianity, that all of these politically correct, as they were once called ideas could be diffused by the simple principle of kindness. If you are kind, you will be kind to people regardless of how they express themselves, as long as that kindness is reciprocal. And in the case of Christianity, even if it is not so, I think it's so odd to appoint the culture as the arbiter of values and principles when sort of rejecting the fact that spiritual values already afford you that conviviality and that kindness to be, you know, to be plain about it. And also that the culture doesn't seem at its heart to be actually good faith, you know, that what, what is the culture about? It's about individualism. I think it's about selfishness. I'm not talking about these progressive movements. I'm talking about consumerism and commodity. What drives it that the apex Is the individual. That the individual and the fulfillment of the individual is the chief set of goals that you're pursuing. And I can see why that leads to sort of myriad forms of extraordinary expression. Yeah. I'm saying the question was, what do you like on your pizza? And Russell. That's my answer. Interesting dude. And certainly not the guy he was several years ago. All right, moving forward into our second installation of rant of the year, our second nominee for rant of the year, Kamala Harris nomination. I love Kamala Harris because when Biden announced I am going to only look at women of color for the vice presidential position, I, as the only person in Hollywood, went, that's a fucking horrible idea. And everyone else goes, what's wrong? What's wrong with it? What's wrong with it? I'll tell you what's wrong with it. You've shrunk your pool of competent people to next to nil. Like, if you think about it, like, you go, first, they got to be a Democrat. You go, all right, there goes half. Half the pool. Then you go, they've got to be a woman. And it's not 50, 50 women in politics, you know, it's probably 70, 30. So you go, it's got to be a woman. You shrunk that thing down pretty. Pretty dramatically. And then you went, and she's got to be a woman of color. And now you're down to 2%. That's your pool. So you're looking for the second most important job in the land, and you've shrunk your pool down to nothing. Like, what the fuck? What do you think? You think a Ferrari ran their F1 team that way? I must have. First off, we're eliminating all guys. We're limited Italian guys. Quadriplegic. We need a quadriplegic. We need somebody in a wheelchair. We need a woman. She's got to be a woman of color. Like, okay, but you are eliminating a lot of people who could be good at this job of running your F1 team. You're eliminating. Oh, that's what I'm doing, because I'm a fucking hero. All right, you fucking heroes did it. And you got Kamala Harris. Now you have a person who polls lower than the president. I didn't even know it was possible in the past to pull lower than the present, because normally the vice president kind of flies under the radar. And it's like, you know, you may not like Obama and you may have issues with him, but they'd go Al Gore. You'd go, I don't know what he's up to. He seems nice, you know, or whatever. Whoever that guy is. I don't think Mike Pence ever pulled lower than Donald Trump. You have someone who polls lower than Biden. Biden is senile. Biden is losing it by the day. When you look at clips of him from three years ago, his eyes are open, he seems lucid. Now one eye is closed and the other eyes half open. Can't understand what he's saying. And now you sanctimonious dipshits are stuck with Kamala Harris. You're fucking stuck with her, you fucking retards. Yeah, I love it when somebody's horrible plan ends up torpedoing their own fucking boat. Yes, you asshole racists who are trying to not come across as racist by the soft bigotry of low expectations, fucked your own plan up by putting someone in there who was under qualified to hold that position. And then we found out about it, and now you got the Orange Devil, but it's only because you had to announce, we need this. Good. Always good. All right, off on another subject. Rant of the year and installment number three, pie rankings. Our third nominee for rant of the year. Pie rankings. They did a fucking ranking once many years ago. And the bitch. They did a pie ranking. They did a fucking pie ranking. And the pie power rankings, you can argue fine, but you know, you gotta have pumpkin up there. You gotta have lemon meringue up there. You gotta have pepper peach, especially fresh in season. Peach is. Is awesome. Maybe you want to put cherry on there. This put chocolate pie at the top. Chocolate pie. It's a pie tin with pudding in it. You know how you make chocolate pie? You get a frozen pie tin and one with the crust in it, a frozen crust, and you thaw it out. And then you make pudding and you put pudding in it. It's not pie. It's not pie. I have an updated list. This is from 2023. Better be Apple. This is USA Today. The best Thanksgiving pies ranked. Peanut butter pie is number two. Diarrhea number two. Now this diarrhea in a crush for man. And the number one pie for Thanksgiving from USA Today. Any pie with chocolate in it? Are you serious? List hasn't been up. No, they did not say that. I feel like there's certain entities that were put here and constructed simply to with me. Yes. I feel like USA Today, Rolling Stone magazine, and Gavin Newsom were all created because some power in the heavens went. What's going to annoy Adam Carolla? The most. Like, what would be the. What would be the worst thing that ever happened? Adam Corolla, we will. He will live in a state that is run by Gavin Newsom. He will disagree with every single thing that comes out of Gavin Newsom's mouth. And every single thing in USA Today is Prince and everything. Rolling Stone Prince. He will disagree with all of it and will do it just to piss off at pie with chocolate. First off, it's chocolate cake. There is no pie with chocolate. That's right. Anything with chocolate pie does not. By the way, do we not get enough chocolate? Can we not source chocolate? I can't find chocolate in this man's country. Chocolate's ubiquitous. It's everywhere. It has nothing to do with Thanksgiving either. You can have chocolate whenever you want and preach the peanut butter pie. That's called a peanut butter cup, you douche. It already exists. And we got a fill of them during Halloween. We don't need you input on. Keep going. I don't, I don't think there should be chocolate anywhere near Thanksgiving or Christmas. I don't, I don't. I don't think there should be chocolate anything. I just don't feel. I feel like it's almost a break from chocolate. I mean, you don't eat pumpkin pie in July, you know, but you'll have a Hershey's bar. Like, chocolate is just year round. It doesn't need to be woven into Thanksgiving. It's its own thing. It's sort of like, yeah, well, I like salmon, but not on Thanksgiving. There's no room for salmon on Thanksgiving. Like, we need some rules. I don't need. How could chocolate possibly help Christmas or Thanksgiving? It cannot aid, it can only hurt. It would serve to upset me and my brethren, and I don't need it. And I'm sticking by. There is no chocolate in pie. There's German chocolate. German chocolate cake is as good as you want chocolate for dessert. Get a big wedge of German chocolate cake. We're good. That's it. The pie, it's not. It's not a pie. It's just pudding in a pie. And, oh, and by the way, the whipped cream thing. I could put whipped cream on a corpse like it wouldn't make. Oh, oh, I guess now it's a good thing I'm glad you murdered that hooker because now there's some whip. It's like, that's just a thing. You just go. You just put it on anything. So. No, that doesn't count. It's pudding with whipped cream on it. In a pie shell. No, sorry. All right. Outstanding Achievement in Shitting on a Point or Story. The nominees for Outstanding Achievement in Shitting on a Point or Story, we are Ornie Adams. You know, it's interesting, Ornie, if you think about it, because when they were doing the award shows and it was MLK Day, well, I grew up, it was Reverend King. It's now Dr. King. They're getting the religion part backed out. Oh, why is that? Oh, not fans of religion. That group. They're trying to take the religion out. He would have been called Reverend, and he probably would have wanted to be called Reverend, but he gets called Doctor. Can you double every single time? Yes. You can say he's the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Yeah, but they don't do it. They just go, Dr. King. They don't like religion. Who? The guys that are flapping their mitts together for Drag race. Yeah. And RuPaul. The Bible doesn't work. That ain't. That ain't a religious. You're not just. No, but I'm also not a fucking retard. That's what I don't know about that. They don't like religion. And so he went from Reverend King to Dr. King. They like doctor. They love Dr. Jill Biden. You know, they like the doctor. She a reverend, too. She's nothing. But the point is, is they love. She's your vice president. Here's what they love. They love college. They hate church. Right. One is college, one is church. So if it's a group that hates church and loves college, and you have a choice between reverend and doctor, even though he was always Reverend, they're going to strip away the Reverend and add the Doctor. I got to be honest with, my entire life, I've heard him referred to as Dr. Martin Luther. That's why we bring you in the studio. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's refreshing. Adam, he's called Reverend, if you want me to show up and agree with everything you say. Like the other day, your entire life, he was called reverent thing for the first. No, he got called doctor. They switched it out about 14 years ago. He was always reverent. Mike Dawson, I have a very serious question. Guys do the move all the time, where they get all ripped in great shape and then they get fat. You know, they put on 30 pounds for this role. Do women ever do it? I think they have too much ego to do it. Guys do it. There's plenty of roles where guys got fat to do the role. The chick who played Barbie did it. In I Tonya. No, not in I, Tonya. Margot Robbie did it in I Tonya. Yeah. All right, let's find a picture from I, Tonya where she's ice skating and we'll see if that's correct. Okay, good point. But she's not. She certainly wasn't. Check your math. She certainly wasn't, like, attractive. I said put on weight, Dawson. Yeah, because even. But she did put on some £7. £4. Perry Farrell. Perry. I'm trying to think of what your place in. In music history is like. I think people think of you as like an innovator, sort of like an artist, pioneer. Do you ever give it any thought? Not too long. I don't think about that too much or too long. I tend to just keep looking in front of me. Eric Griffin and Mike Dawson. I don't know. Does anyone have. Does everyone have weird come guy in their group? That. That's all. There's always a dude who's. You can. You can tell because they bust a nut at the strip club when no one else can do that. Yeah, but he's also weird. Yeah, it's not me. No, but you know, that got a guy. We got a guy at a bachelor party. At a bachelor party party. Oh, well, that's when, you know, the two chicks are going at each other and they want to see who wants a dance. Whatever. This guy stripped down to his underwear and laid down on the floor so that in front of all of us dudes, he just said, I'm losing my clothes, man. I'm. I'm getting into this. Well, I don't know if they still. I don't know if he's that guy, though, Dawson. Well, I would say. Okay, yeah, you just. You're just talking about a guy got drunk at a bachelor party. But. No, no, no. But the guy was like. He must. That guy. I don't know if he does. I never asked him. Yeah, that's okay, Dawson. I don't think you know what we're talking about. Yeah, but what's weird. Talking about. Hold on a second. Does that guy goes to a bachelor party, drinks too much and gets wild? That's. That's every guy. That's. That's not what I'm saying. He passed or not. That guy. That guy who busts a nut. Yeah. Oh, he did bust a nut. Well, I don't know, but he also took somebody into the back room and had fun with her back there. It just. That's not weird cum guy, though. That's have sex with someone. Guy. Right. Okay, then. I don't know. Forget it. All right, Dawson, you're not allowed to be offended because I brought up the premise and then you jumped in with what every 22 year old does at a bachelor party or wants to do. That's all. Guy was in his 40s. It's not weird Come guy. Weird come guy is bust a nut at a strip club guy. But that's not unusual. I wouldn't say that's weird. Oh, you're being. Oh, you're being sexually. We're being sexually aroused at a show. Yeah. It's not weird. It's not weird to do that. I don't know what you're talking. I'm saying a weird guy would be like you're supposed at the movies or something. Ornie Adams and Mike Dawson. Our entire life, there were used car lots. There was a movie called Used Cars. Cal Worthington would sell you a used car. Now they're previously owned. Not even previously. Pre. Pre owned. Pre owned vehicles. Oh, they're pre owned? Yeah, they're pre owned. We've shortened it. Wait, a used cars Pre owned. Pre owned. Not previously owned. Oh, they just go pre owned. Pre owned. Pre owned. Feels weird because it feels like a new car. Because it'd be before owned. I think they're called pre owned. Am I wrong now or. He's correct. Pre owned. Pre would mean before somebody owned it. Right, but somebody owned it before. Yeah. No, I think they're abbreviating. Previously. That's what they call it. I do car commercials. Yes. Pre owned. Yeah. So are we keeping count? How many times I'm right on this podcast. Yeah, I know, I know, but it doesn't make sense. There's a lot. It's just short for previously correct. Okay, but pre also means something. The language is pre owned. That's the language they used use. But they also still use used. Oh, they do use use. Yes. New and used vehicles. But pre means before, Right? Right. So it was owned before. Yeah. Previously owned. Yeah, it's just short from previously. You're correct. Don't. Don't get too confused. No, no, but there's a word called pre, right? No, pre is the prefix of previously. Oh, so like pre is not really a word on its own. Oh, it isn't? No, pre is a prefix. So pre comm. Is previous. Jesus Christ. You two trying to get me to kill myself? Every year I go to Monterey and I race and they have the historics, and the week before it, they have the prehistorics. That means before the Historics. It's kind of a good name, but they do the prehistorics before the Historics at Monterey every year, so it just means before. So I'm going to give myself a victory on that one. I know it's short for previous, but it still means before it was owned, which means it's still at the factory or on the lot. I'm sticking with me on that one. Has a rant of the year ever come from the Ace of Wars? We never have, but there's certainly enough material to mine from that. All right. Oh, we're gonna take a break, but back with the best musical moments. We need to give the award for most uncomfortable moments. Oh, damn, damn, damn. Sorry. That's on me. We sailed through so many part ones and part twos. I got off my rhythm. Yeah. And I will give some love to this man, too. The winner, ornie Adams for MLK. And I will say this, the reverend has been dropped, and it's pretty much Dr. King, which is a sign of the times, but there were more doctors in the past than I originally anticipated, so I'll take half a loss on that one. But it is now. Reverend is completely gone. It's all doctor. And it used to be it's just split time between reverend and doctor, which you all think means nothing, but I'm telling you, it's the zeitgeist. It's where we're at as a society. All right, Best musical moments right after this. Adam Carolla comes clean, now available@angel.com I think the problem with Olympic fencing is the outfits. They dress like X ray technicians with a spaghetti colander on their head. They should be forced to wear the outfits of their country swordsmen from back in the day. Right. France would have a musketeer. Japan would have a samurai. United States, a homeless guy with a machete. He's got a load in his sweatpants. Subscribe to Angel.com Adam to get exclusive access to the full dry bar comedy special Adam Carolla Comes Clean. New Year's resolution. Vow to eat healthier. But what about your beloved pets and their nutrition? Yeah, you're doing better, but they're getting a bunch of dried up old kibble. Dr. Dennis Black created rough greens and meow greens to bring their dead food back to life with live vitamins and minerals, probiotics, enzymes, omega oils, antioxidants and more. See, pet food is dead food. And eat dead food, soon enough you're going to join it. You need to bring it to life all by the way, in a tasty formula your dog or cat will love. It'll improve their coat digestion, energy and mean less vet bills. I've been doing this with Phil holding the sack right now. Vita Smart. You don't have to buy food and keep it in the refrigerator. You just sprinkle this on top of the food you're currently serving your dog or your cat. Get a Jumpstart trial bag. It's normally 20 bucks. It's free with the promo code Adam. You just cover shipping. It's a free Jumpstart trial bag. That's it. Just go to ruffgreens.com use the code ADAM. Try it out for free. Your dog's going to love it and you'll notice the difference quickly in your dog's vigor and health. Ruff greens so good your pet will ask for it by name. Hey, it's Adam Kroll from the Adam Kroll the show. Betonline is the world's most trusted bedding platform and number one source for online betting. From the earliest odds to in game live betting, Betonline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen. With the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA, college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA and championship boxing. All your betting needs in one place. Head to Betonline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun. Make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with betonline. Betonline. The game starts here. Let's take a look back at some of the best live musical moments from the show last year. We get a happy feeling when we're singing this song. Come along as a song that we're singing. Come on get happy. Whole lot of lovin is what a whole lot of loving is what we're we bringing the good to make you happy to make you happy to make you happy. Shit, man, we should tour. I've heard the song 10,000 times and I forgot how bad this first line was. All right? If a 9 year old wrote that lyric, I'd slap the fucking crayon out of his hand and go, sorry, Timmy, no more lyrics for you, baby. And I like tv. Even had to take TV and kind of stretch it a little bit. By the way, there's nobody who likes TV who also doesn't like movies and nobody likes movies. We like sitting on our asses watching people move and eating. This is the number one song. You like varsity and I like Jay. You think you're such a handsome man. You like sweet potato and I like yams. Yeah, we're talking about the same thing, Dick. Oh, yeah, I know. Eyes that flash at the sound of life and Wendy has wings to fly above the cloud. That guy's dropping his shorts to get into bed. And a plume of bourbon and leather scent comes from his groin. He's stepping out. There's an old song called Smell Yo Dick. Remember that one? Yeah. Bur alive. Yeah. Smell your dick. Smell your dick. Fera Jacques dorme vous door me vous Fala la Latina fala lazina. Ding, ding, ding. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. That was Corolla, not me. The Love Boat. Soon we'll be making another run. The Love Boat promises something for everyone. Set, of course, for adventure. Your mind's on a new romance and love won't hurt anymore. It's an old open smile on a friendly shore. It's love. Welcome aboard. It's love. See it? Give me some, baby. Now back to the 2024 ACE Awards. Man, it's so weird how that stuff gets seared in your brain so early and never leaves. Never leaves. All right, moving on to second part of Interview of the Year with, well, you'll hear it from Dawson. Our second nominee for Interview of the Year, Perry Farrell. And that time I was designing jewelry, and I started designing jewelry. And I got a job from my dad. One of his friends, his CB friends, gave me a job as a liquor liquor distributor delivery guy. So basically, I would go and sell. Sell cases of liquor to liquor stores or nightclubs. And I had a van, you know, they gave me a van. It wasn't mine to keep, but. And every day I would hit the streets delivering liquor. And there was a club in Orange County. Forget the name of the club right now. But they. They were doing modeling shows. And, you know, there was a lot of hanky panky going on. Rich dudes with yachts. It was like that scene, and I'm waiting. This. This chick, she's running the show. It's a modeling show. Modeling show at this place? Yeah. So she asked me, are you a model by any chance? And I said, how did you know? Yes, I am a model. And I'm thinking through my head, she's gonna give me a job, but I don't want to be a model. So I said to her, but I can do many things. I can do impersonations of singers, like I can do Frank Sinatra. I can do David Bowie. I can do Mick Jagger. You know, I never did it before, but I knew if she gave me the shot, I could do it. So I started doing impersonations of, you know, Frank Sinatra, Bowie and Mick Jagger. And this modeling gig turned into. And how would you like to go to this party on this guy's yacht? So it was a bit of. No, it wasn't a bit. It was an escort service as well. So my wife knows all this. I don't have. I don't mind telling you these things. So I briefly. I briefly escorted some older ladies and I had a girlfriend. Wait, did you work as an escort? I was invited to the parties and there I was. You were sort of a gigolo? Yeah. I forget a lot of these interviews, too. Like, I remember Perry Farrell's interesting interview, but I forgot the whole gigolo story. All right, now onto the fourth installment of Rant of the Year. Our fourth nominee for Rant of the Year, Vaping and Medical Lies. Here's what people need to understand about how our society works. I just had this discussion with a concerned woman, okay? She found a vape pen and was concerned. The teenage daughter? Son. Okay. Okay. Then I said, what was the vape? I don't know that much. Was it a tobacco? It's like a nicotine vape pen. Or was it potential? And then she said, I hope it's pot. And I said, why? And she said, because the vaping, it's so bad for you. The tobacco was so bad. I've had this conversation with way more than one woman. I said, there's nothing. It's just water vapor and nicotine. Where you want. You want the kid hooked on nicotine? I said, what's the difference between caffeine and nicotine? You have two cups of coffee every fucking day. It's a stimulant. It's not bad for you. What's bad for you is the smoke part of it. And she goes, I've seen a million stories. First things first. We're nuts. We'd rather fucking teenagers be high than take something that's inert into their body. But they. They. Then she said to me, how come there's so many tests and how. So many studies about how bad? And I said, these are the people that say 50, 55,000 people die of secondhand smoke every year. You want to know who dies of secondhand smoke? Nobody. You don't think they fucking lie about everything to get you to stop doing something or start doing something? AIDS is an equal opportunity killer. It'll take a heterosexual. No, won't it kills gays. You're turning red. Jesus fucking Christ. Everybody, they make shit up. They force it up the ass of dumb women and then they impose it on everybody. That's how it works. That's how the shampoo works. That's how all the Purell works. That's how all this shit works. That's how it works. I don't. Adam, pray to it. I don't listen. Your angry is red. You look like Satan with dirty hair. Life this way. Like there's. Yeah, but it's so bad. Like, what's bad? The water vapor or the nicotine? What? What's the bad part? They do these whole fucking campaigns. Campaigns. And they make up this look. Oh, he's gonna, he's gonna get Furlong from it or something. Yeah, but nothing comes out the other end, remember? Oh, 20% of people that get Covid are gonna have long term damage. No, it don't. No, they don't. They lie. Yeah, they fucking like they've been saying 55,000Americans die of secondhand smoke for 30 years. Nobody dies of secondhand smoke. That's how it works, okay? What they lia. They lie all the fucking time. And it's to get you to do shit they want you to do. I, I don't know like if most adult Americans are all right with that relationship where it's like, yeah, they lie to you like you're fucking nine years old. But it's good. It's good. It gets you to do shit they want you to do, which is good. So it's good. Is that an okay relationship to have with authorities and the government? I guess I'm saying, do you want the head of the CDC going, Hey, 47 year old guy with a mustache, I'm just gonna lie to you, but it's not true. But it's to get you to do shit I want you to do. Cuz I've deemed this safer than whatever it is you are doing. So that'll be our relationship. So we'll just take someone and we'll go. We'll make you the expert and the head of this. And then you just lie about shit all the time. And that'll get me to do what you want me to do, even if it's true or not true. I find that to be a weird relationship to have with authorities. I would feel that way with coaches or weather people too. Just like, I don't want to talk to guys about plate tectonics who are lying either. Like, oh, there's a big one coming when 9.0. When? Tuesday. Oh, all right. You should earthquake proof your house. I would rather them just sort of tell me what's happening instead of the. But don't worry, we're going to tell you a lie. So you do what we want you to do. And now it's completely gone. Which is weird because think about your brain. Fauci's gonna weigh in on the bird flu. And I just go, ah, yeah, fuck that guy. I don't listen to the fucking thing that old fuck has to say about anything. Is he right about the bird flu? I don't know. Maybe. Probably don't care. Done. Gavin Newsom's gonna weigh in on the. I was just like, oh, yeah, I'm not. Oh, Biden's got a hot take on the drones. It's like, nope, nope, 00 listening. Which is the worst thing you can do if you're cnn, the President or the head of the cdc, the nih. The worst position you can have, even as a dad, it's just to go, yeah, we're going to Disneyland on Saturday. And your kids go, yeah, it's never gonna happen. He's lying. Bad position to put yourself in. But they did it, and that's on them. I'm just enjoying the variety in rant of the Year, you get upset about the government lying to us and pie. That's right. And everything falls in between that. That's why you're the best. That's why I'm the best. And that's why I have to come out of retirement for one last rant. That's right. Yeah. As the unmarked Denalis come pulling up my dirt driveway. Gotta talk to you. All right, Rant. We're going into number five of rant of the year. Our fifth nominee for rant of the Year, Kamala's first interview. Vice President Kamala Harris campaign is asking reporters for advice about which outlet she should choose for her first sit down interview as the Democratic presidential nominee. So let me say this to anybody who gets approached from the Harris campaign to give her first sit down interview after what will have been 45 or 50 days by the time they sit down, which will be the biggest interview in the world. If the Kamala Harris campaign calls you and says you've been tapped to give Kamala Harris's first interview ever, you are going to experience joy and a certain sense of pride, which is, oh, my God, what a break for a reporter to give one of the most anticipated interviews ever. But when you hang up the phone, you should then kill yourself because it means you're a shit reporter. Because they're looking for fucking spineless people to lob softball questions at a bitch who can't speak. So hang up the phone and kill yourself. Because it means they have deemed you're not an actual reporter. If you're an actual reporter who did your actual job, then your phone wouldn't fucking ring. You understand? So have one moment of pride where you tell everyone this is it, and then get a fucking sword out and fall on it. Because it means they think you're a shit, weak, bought and sold reporter. I agree. With me. Got something on your mind you need to talk about? Forget texting. Just call up a friend so you can hear a voice. It might be old school, but it helps. This healthy suggestion is brought to you by Regents Blue Cross Blue Shield of Oregon. Together we help. Moving on to our third installment of Interview of the Year with someone who's really making waves out there. She's making a lot of noise in the last few years or last year or so. Riley Gaines. Our third nominee for Interview of the Year, Riley Gaines. Really, the first time I learned how to stand up for myself to authority figures was during COVID And they said. And it's the same blackmail you speak of, right? They said, riley, you're the team captain. You're supposed to be the leader. You know, you don't want to hurt your team. You have to get the vaccine, right? To which I said, no, you can't make me do that. I'm young, I'm healthy. I'd already had Covid at this point. They continued on. You know, it's mandatory. It's mandatory. If you don't, you won't be able to travel. To which I called them on their bs. No, I didn't get the vaccine. And yes, I got to travel to every meet. So that's when I learned how to stand up for myself. And the parallels between that and what we faced my senior year were uncanny. I think that's when they learned they could control us, and that was certainly shown. But nonetheless, junior year, this is when I ended up finishing. Ultimately, placing seventh in the country wasn't my best time. I knew I was capable of more. And so it was right then and there that I placed seventh my junior year, that I set a goal for my senior year to win a national title, which would, of course mean becoming the fastest woman in the country in my respective event. I'm right on pace to achieve this goal. Senior year rolls around, I'm third in the nation, trailing the girl in second by a few one hundredths of a second. A girl I knew very well. But the swimmer who was leading the nation by body links, might I add, was a swimmer that none of us. Not me, not my teammates, not my coaches, not my competitors, not my family. A swimmer none of us had ever heard of before. And this is the first time we became aware of a swimmer named Leah Thomas. Lots of red flags. I mean, he was a senior from UPenn, which is not a school that has ever historically produced a swimmer of that caliber. Leading the nation by body links and events ranging from the 100 freestyle, which is a sprint, all the freestyle events in between, through the mile, which is long distance. I mean, none of it made sense. And we continued to stay in the dark. Of course, keep in mind, we hadn't seen a photo of this person a lot more clear. But we continued to stay in the dark until an article came out disclosing that Leah Thomas is actually Will Thomas and swam three on the men's team at UPENN before deciding to switch to the women's team, which, as you can imagine, because it's. It's virtually the same story in every single scenario we are seeing across the country. He sucked as a man and became a record smasher as a quote, unquote woman. Little spark plug, Riley Gaines. Now we move forward to our number six Rant of the Year, Our sixth nominee for Rant of the Year, anti LGBTQ outing law. Hey, speaking of safety, there's a new law in California. Yeah. All right. Gavin Newsom just signed this into law. It's aimed at protecting LGBTQ students from having their sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression revealed by schools without consent. Huh. So basically, it means they can't tell schools, can't tell parents if their children have now identified as something else. Listen, everyone. They would like to take over your life 100%. And people go, oh, come on. Well, I don't know. You tell me what evidence you've seen that they don't. We just went through Covid. They sprung into action and took over every part of your fucking life. Everyone. They shut the beaches, they shut the churches, they shut the schools. They got involved with every facet of your life. They wanted you to get forced to wear a mask and get a vaccine. Vaccine. Otherwise, they're gonna get you shit canned for your job. I don't. There's no part of your life that they do not want to be involved in. Is that clear? Is it clear to everyone that they want to be involved with every asset facet of your life. They're. They're starting to trying to implement, like, we want mileage restrictions, and you're gonna. We want to know how far you drive every day. And we want to. We want to be in charge of tech, and we want to know what you're tweeting. And we want. They want to be in control of every facet of your life, which is. Well, why wouldn't they? That's what they do. They make rules. If I've said it a million times, take beavers, put them on the roof of the Empire State Building, and what are they going to do? They're going to start looking for wood because they got to build a dam, because that's what beavers do. They build dams. It doesn't matter if they're on the roof of the fucking Chrysler Building. They're building a dam because that's what beavers do. What do lawmakers do? It's in the title. I am a law maker. I make laws. I go to work every day and I make laws. Why? Read the sign. Lawmaker Gavin Newsom wants to tell you what to do. That's his obsession. And just as importantly, on occasion, what not to do. Here's what you can do. That's good. That feels good to him. Here's what you can't do. I'm a lawmaker. That's what I do all day, every day. And now we're fucked because that's what we're living in. Now, what you want to do is you want people who have the job but are much more sensible about it. We do not have that here. So they now do not want you to talk to your kids. So what's the impediment? What stands in the way of them making all the laws and controlling every facet of your life? What are the two? There's two things that stand in the way. Well, one is religion. Religion is one. And the other is family. And the other is family. So what are they gunning for? Yeah, what are they going hard in the paint for? Yep. They got a big problem with both those things, is both those things don't involve them controlling your life. That's right. He's the governor. He would like to govern over you. Oh, no. More Most Uncomfortable Moments. The nominees for Most Uncomfortable Moment are. Chris for the Gloria Allred clip. She was explaining to me that this may help Michael Richards career. Okay, so to be clear, this is from what year? Oh, this is from November of 2006. Well, that was the event no, this is the call. Oh, that's the call. Well, then when did the event happen? And what happened to this lawsuit? Did it go anywhere? It's possible Chris is wrong about something. That's highly unlikely. That's highly unlikely. November 17th is the event, right? I don't know. We don't know. I remember hearing that. The actual event. 17th is the event. All right, but didn't you tell me 10 seconds ago this. It wouldn't be. It wouldn't. Well, she called in after the event. I would assume so. Yeah, but. So she could have called in December, November 29, 2006. So she called in after two weeks after the thing went down, or 10 days or whatever. She was working hard over Thanksgiving. Yeah, she was. By the way, you got misinformation. I said, November of 2000. Let's not throw the employees. I said, it's November 6th. And I said that wasn't the call. That was the event. Yeah, and then she called in November of 2006, two weeks after. It's still the same month. All right. I said November 2000. I said November 16th. And you said that was the call. I said, no, that was the event. She called in after that. Okay, that's all I said. Listen to the tape. Listen to the tape. The Astro twins for women's health care. And you have a prediction about the election as well? Yeah, sure do. Now, did you get the last one right? Well, we did. You know, we didn't want to say it because, you know, it's too painful for us, surprisingly. We're, you know, women, single issue voters right now probably, you know, are. So you like Kamala because you want joy? Absolutely. We can bring some joy back. Joy. And we want women to be able to decide what to do with their bodies. All right. But let's not lie. Let's not lie. They can do whatever the. They want. Their bodies. This is one part of it, Right. Like, we're not really in Texas or Florida. Well, I mean, when they go, like, we don't want to deny women health care or something. They're just lying when they say that, right? No, they're not, actually. Well, just say abortion. Yeah, abortion to be able to. But it's not denied health care. That's if you have diabetic health care. I know. What I'm saying is it'll help your cause better if you don't lie about what it is. And I just don't like when they go women's right to make decisions about her own health care. It's Too broad. But that is a big part of our lives. As just say a portion and then things that have to do with it. Just abortions. Not okay. Reproductive. Reproductive. Some of those. Sexual health. But what about being on dialysis? Like if you're. What about diabetes medication? Right. I'm just saying they're not trying to deny women health care. They're talking about abortion, which bleeds into that. But I'm saying be more specific about important part of our bodies and our lives and our choice. And it actually affects. If I was anti abortion, I might just be a religious person who thought it was wrong. If I was anti women making decisions about their health care, then I would be Hitler. That's what I'm saying. Can you guys wrap your minds around this concept? Are you broad. Making the same retarded argument over and over again? Chris, for guest arrival status. Jeff Leach is running late. Or somebody told him the show was starting at a different time. I saw the email. We gave him the right information. All right. He's running late. It's always on the table around here. So he's running late. We haven't spoke to him. Right. We've sent out a message and we have not heard back yet. We've not spoken. He did confirm when we sent him the original detail. Okay. The other day or. Yes. Today. Yesterday. I could. Let me check. I don't want to give you the. Well, anyway, he should be here, so we'll bring him in when he does show up. Arrival details are sent over a week ago. Okay. I think we gotta check in earlier. That's all I'm saying. I think we'll make that our plan. Sure. Check in earlier in the day. Okay. All right. As previously discussed. Right. I see what you're doing. Yes. We discuss this a lot. Like, we gotta hit him 15, 20 before the show. Okay. Don't you think? Yeah. Okay. All right. So you told me this before air. Why are you. Why are you doing this now? I'm telling you now because the world needs to know because we've discussed it like 35 times. I don't. I don't see why you need to shame. Shame us now while the mics are on. Well, it's not effective when the mics aren't on. I think it's the problem. Okay. I. I think. I think a little shame, a little a dust. I know. I know you like a dusting of shame. Well, my other attempts have not been successful. Right. That's what I'm saying. So just a dusting. Greg Kinnear for Little Miss Sunshine. Little Miss Sun, Sunshine. Oh, boy. Now, I think it's a good film. Okay, well, a lot of people think it's better than good, but go ahead. Oh, boy, we're off the run. No, I thought it was very good and I watch it multiple times. But I do cite it is the beginning of the downfall of this nation. Oh, now, look, you're gun for hire. I'm not. I'm not blaming you. No, I'll take the bullet. Go ahead. Your character in this movie was what dads used to be and how dads probably should be. And you became the sort of heel of the movie, the butt of the joke. Except for all you were talking about was sort of working hard and eating right and so on and so forth. Like when you had that famous diner scene, right? And your daughters wanting to eat ice cream for breakfast a la mode. And you're, hey, you're going to a competition and you eat a bunch of ice cream. You're gonna put some weight on. And everyone at the table attacked you, right? And I was like, what? That's what dads are supposed to do. And then I realized that's sort of where we're at now. And that's why the wheels have come off the wagon and we're all gonna have to move to Florida or Texas. I am the poster child for it was the beginning of the end. I'm not sitting down for it was the downfall of society. Other than that, it was a cute film. I had not heard that take before. And yet, as you say it, there is an element of that that I agree with. Byron, Chris and Dawson for staff communication. Byron, didn't you have something about Fast seven on the screen there that I was talking about? I hope so. I love. Let's Talk Fast 7 is a picture you wanted. No, but I'm really talking about my screen here. Just. I thought that was something. Just go ahead and write Fast seven on the screen. Do that. Okay, here we go. You're so right, boss. What? What am I right about? I did have Fast seven on the screen. You're right. Right. And then you erased it. Right? I'm stupid. No, I'm just saying you erased it. And then I said you erased it. And then you said, no, I didn't. And then yesterday Dawson gave you an email that had something on it. You said, no, he didn't just get out of the no, he didn't mode and get into the little bit of the oh, maybe I did. Am I watching somebody getting fired in Real time. No, I'm just saying exciting. Everyone's default setting can't be fuck off. It has to be like, oh, maybe was. Maybe something happened. Let me check it. I saw that email. It was confusing. Thank you. What was confusing about the email? Because Dawson didn't send the video. He sent. He's like, please get this video of Paul Giamatti's pizza. And then he just went, TMZ.com. usually we send the link of the video right there on the front page. No, I could send you a video. Like, how did he get the first thing? Then my question is, how do you get the first one? I feel like I'm at an office party where people are drinking too much and saying what's on their mind. No, I'm not saying. Dawson. I'm not saying. You're wrong. He should have asked. Hey, I don't see the video, but it was confusing. Based on the system that we do have that. That it wasn't there. So I. I think these are two different things. Yesterday was hectic. No, no, no. It's not two different things. Because when somebody says, hey, I sent you this, or I talked about this or do this, you should go. Let me check. Yeah. Not, no, it should have been followed up with. It shouldn't be buzz off. It should be, well, hold on. Let me check. There was no buzz off, was there? No. Is buzz off. No is buzz off. Do you understand? Yeah, that's what no means. It means no. All right, Don't. Don't have a. No chambered. Have a. I don't remember, but let me check. I'm not disagreeing with it. No, the email is straighter forward than what you. How you depicted it. Who are we mad at now? We start with, then we were mad at. No, we're mad at everyone under 40. Okay. Number one. Yeah. Yeah. Be open to the possibility of being incorrect or missing something. It's not as shaming as you think it is. The number one guy who's wired that way is Dr. Drew. If you call that guy at any time and go, hey, I told you this or that, he'll go, oh, I'm sorry. I must have forgotten about that. Or he always is magnanimous. He always just goes, I must not have heard you correctly. I was under the impression. Whatever. Always. He never goes, fuck off. Or you never said that. I'm always amazed at the people just go, you never said that. That's a weird thing to say to someone who said, I told you something, because it kind of makes them Nuts or they have a brain tumor, I will accept. I do not remember that conversation. Which I will. But you never said. That is a weird thing to say to a lucid adult when they say I told you this or that, it's kind of saying you're fucking nuts, isn't it? It is. I'm sad that we're going to have to find a new category to replace this next year because under my tutelage, I just don't see any uncomfortable moments in 2025. That is true. With your. Yeah. With Joe at the helm. Steady hand at the helm. In the wheelhouse. All right. Yeah, I'm trying to think. Dr. Drew says pardon me a lot. It's old school. All right. And the winner. Oh, that's right. And the winner is. The Astro twins. Yes. A very uncomfortable conversation and dialogue I had with them. All right, we're going to take our last break. We'll come back with always a favorite. The definitely not a Jew. This is where Dawson earns his bones right after this. Morgan and Morgan. Life can be crazy sometimes and one person's negligence can result in another settlement. So let's hope that if anything happens to you, you get hold of Morgan and Morgan, if you're ever injured, check out our good friends Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers. And as long as we're in the Moore department, more than 20 billion with a B dollars recovered for over 500,000 plus clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting and getting you full and fair compensation. Going on the road, doing stand up every weekend, well, that can be hard. But submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan, that's easy. So go with Morgan and Morgan. Right, Dawson, if you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information go to for the people.com Adam or dial law529 from your cell phone. That's f o r the people.com Adam or pound law529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Pluto TV is a place for movie fans like me and TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone and it's free. I love free and I love Jersey Shore. For me it's the Godfather, SpongeBob SquarePants. I am Patrick. Patrick is me. Oh, Forrest Gump. Come on, Criminal minds. Solving crime after bedtime. Whatever you love to watch. Pluto TV makes it easy with thousands of free movies and shows. Pluto TV stream now pay never. 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His oxygen machine a cinnamon roll Gator nuggets Easter egg his feet stain a $5 foot long the the underwire of her bra a Chipotle Hostess cinnamon roll an empty swimming pool Domino's Pizza 2 hamster a crown of thorns a Christmas tree A kilt a US Flag a Little Debbie honey bun a gecko A plate of spaghetti Popeyes chicken a Dodge Ram truck ravioli a salami his soiled diaper A sport of vegetables vegetable peeler $1,540 worth of vibrators the Waffle House logo Doc Charger SRT Hellcat red eyed gale Bray Trump 2024 merchandise thank you Alcoa for another great year of sponsorship. We look forward to your support next year for more Definitely not Achieve well Dawson the height of his powers My I looked out a few moments ago out in the parking lot, saw a flatbed truck and they're towing a car. Whose car is that? My daughter's car. I said to my daughter, why don't you pick up your car? Why is it being towed? Lost the keys. I said, where's your spare keys? She said, those were the spare keys. And then I thought I flashbacked at the 10,000 arguments discussions I had with my ex wife about her car and her spare keys and where the keys were and how could I move her car. She was out of town if she had the spare keys. And I thought if people are having a lot of conversations with you about your spare keys, that's not a good sign. That means things are falling through the cracks. That means something's gone a little bit amiss in your life. You really shouldn't burden other human beings with your spare keys. They should just be by the front door in that place or whatever it is. But I think back on many, many discussions I've had with many, many people in my life and I will say this first and foremost, everyone I've ever argued with about anything. I'll first start with this. I never wanted to talk about this with you ever, ever. Can we just get to that? Can we just. Our jumping off point is I never wanted to talk to you about this subject and you have never talked to me about this subject. So that's the jumping off point. I didn't want to on the car metaphor, get out of the car and exchange information with you, but you rear ended me and I know you're angry at me at this point, but I never wanted this exchange ever. I would like to sail through life with zero discussion about other people's spare keys. That's my posture. That's what I would wish. I have a son. I hope he makes it to the grave without any arguments about someone else's spare keys and where they might be and how much it's going to cost to replace them and why the spare keys are with them even though the actual keys are with them as well. That is my wish. That's my wish for all of God's children. So now the car is getting on a flatbed and going somewhere because the spare keys have been lost after the actual first set of keys were lost. We need to relearn the definition of the word spare. Yes. It becomes primary once the actual set of keys are lost. And spare becomes primary. It's like a spare tire. No, it's now your tire because it's on the car. All right. Interview of the year. This is interesting. I found Moshe Kasher very interesting, and I think you will as well. Our fourth nominee for interview of the year, Moshe Kasher. Your parents divorced when you're nine months, you guys go to Oakland. I mean, you and your mom. Me, my mom and my brother. And your brother go to Oakland, like, physically just move away. We were just gone. Yeah. Did your mom just sort of sneak out or did they do all the paperwork and everything? No, she kind of did the old school 70s divorce, which is where you could just bail and then, you know, I think now maybe fathers have slightly more rights. I don't really know. But it was. It was a kind of like parents did that they just moved. Right. And the mom would always sort of be trusted that whatever she was doing was the right decision. I found this calendar. This is kind of sad, but I found this calendar years after my dad died. There was this calendar in his old stuff that was like a. It was the date that we left on vacation in my dad's calendar. And it was, like, crossed off the exes until we would come home. And then eventually the exes just stopped because we weren't coming home. So your parents didn't really get divorced. Your mom left your dad. It was like a light kidnapping, you know, kind of one of those 70s kidnappings. Dusting of it. Yeah, it's like the Amber alert, but, you know, the Mexican guy's just getting his daughter back. It's not a full blown, you know, ether raggedy to the mouth into the primer van. No, I told you, having deaf parents, there was a lot of strange things. The ether rag was in play. No, we just moved and we were gone. And then I was a kid in. I was a secular kid in Oakland. Normally when women leave that way, there's some abuse or there's some addiction or there's some. Something that causes them to sort of make that kind of move. I don't know if you. You relate to that. Your parents are divorced also. Are they just, like, laughed went somewhere? Yeah, it's one of those marriages where you. I'm sure it sounds like it's similar to your parents where you can't even imagine that they ever. How could this have ever been a romantic connection? They were so far from each other that Each of them. I remember when I was a kid hearing their individual stories about what happened. And I'm talking four years old, having the realization of, okay, these stories aren't matching, which means that someone here is lying and probably both of them are lying, and I'll never know the truth. But abuse was definitely one of the charges from my mom. Definitely. She said that that happened. My dad, surprisingly enough, denied it. And I was sort of left to figure out who it was that was really telling me the truth. Well, I'm assuming it was physical abuse, because I'm trying to think of the verbal ability, because all you'd have to do is put your sunglasses on or something and drown the guy out completely. So it must have been physical. No, that's what I would do. By the way, when I'd get mad at my mom, one of the great advantages of having deaf parents is I could just be like, fuck you. As long as I was covering my mouth, she would never know what was happening. Yeah, that was a good interview. I remember that. All right. This one I'm not even clear about. I forgot about it, but doesn't mean we're not going to enjoy it. Technical and Creative Arts. At a private ceremony held earlier this month, Technical and Creative Arts ACE Awards were given out in the following categories. Best TV Show Pitch. I would like to do a show. You and I could do it together. It would be called Drunk Women Complimenting youg. And there's something about women when they've had a couple of drinks who go, I thought you're funny. I mean, well, my husband thinks you're funny. I'm not so much. You know, like. I mean, they just can't. Right, Right. They go there. They do it. A little lubrication with some alcohol helps, but they're just. The compliments always end up stinging. Yeah, they never really work. My mom loves you. Right There's. My mom's a huge fan. Yeah, but they. But if. Okay, if they're sober, they'll go, my husband is a huge fan. And they'll leave it at that. If they had a few pops, they go, my husband's a huge fan. Me, not so much. Yeah, that's what. That's what the booze gets you. That's that tag. Best Game show reenactment. I wanted to be on Hollywood Squares, but I wanted Paul Lynn to adopt me because I didn't have a dad. We would be the first father and son team on the Hollywood Squares. That was my dream. I'd like Craig and Paul Lin for the win. Please take it, son. A sports question. That's just how it was a magic. All right. I'll give you a Paul Lynn joke for you to do as Paul Lynn on the holiday. Know this one? Yeah. Then he said on the Squares. Yeah. Oh, you probably know it. Probably. Then I'll play the. I thought he was going to be my father. I'll play the host. Five letters to fix him up for my mom. You should marry my mother. We'll see. Yeah. If you can do it. Okay, go ahead. I'll do the punchline. Go ahead. Yeah, I'll be the host. Okay, I'll listen here. You're Peter Martin. Sure. Paul, what do you do with a lady finger? I don't know. I've had a man see. You didn't see. I don't know that one. You say. You say ignore it and keep on driving. Ignore it and keep on driving. Hold on, let me shut you up. Paul, what do you do with a lady finger? Ignore it and keep on driving. There you go. Now, Paul, how many balls in a billiard table? I don't know how many guys are playing. I would watch a stand up special. You just go balling. So I had. You want to hear a true story what he said? Yeah. He walks on stage. This is verified because his. His former road manager was my manager for a minute and he walked on stage in Cincinnati was an outdoor venue and it smelled was next to a sewage treatment plant. Oh my God, it smells like pussy. I think best intro joke. And now a man whose parents had a 0% interest rate. Adam Corolla. Yeah. Get it on. Got to get it on. That's Joyce is going on. Took me a minute to get that one. No choice. Donnell Rawlings for least black. Black guy. I know this sounds corny and please don't. It's gonna really diminish my gangster. I like watching the sunrise. Oh really? You do? God damn feel renewed. Fuck Cory, man. I'm about to kill somebody when I leave here now, man. I like it like. Like that's so tranquil. And it's another non gangster. I like floating down the river. Oh yeah. On an inner tube. On a kayak. Oh, even worse. I like floating down the zero course river. I decided. Adam. What the you want from me, man? And what are you drinking? White claws. Oh no. God damn it, no. And what are you listening to? Who need to blow fish. Oh no. And when the sun comes out tomorrow. Let her cry. Worst sports commentary. Tom Brady. Yeah. So he. He went and ran a 40 yard dash again. Oh, let me guess. Tom Brady ran it faster than he did when he was 19. 22. It was 5.28 versus 5.12. Oh, 1 2. But look what he looked like at the Columbine show. The picture of Columbine. That's what it's called, isn't it? High school that got shot up with his shirt off. Columbine. Combine. What is it called? Combine. Combine. Okay. Combine with. Laugh at me outside of the deck. Sorry, I'm little flustered by your not taking. There. Just a big difference between Columbine and combine. Yeah. So we're going to laugh at me. Is that how we treat our guest? A lot of. A lot of dead kids, that's all. That's all I'm saying. And Best love letter. I'm worried about what this letter says. I'm a senior at North Hollywood High. The prom's coming in the next week or so. Cause, yeah, graduation back then would be like June 12th or something. The prom was probably June 1st or something. So here we are in May, and I'm writing to my buddy Carl. Carl, I was just sitting in Spanish and decided that your face was more important than classwork. Not a bad likeness, eh, Carl? This little sketch might be worth something one day. Anyway, it is Thursday and I'm happy. I'm gonna go to the beach tomorrow and the prom the next day. Oh, they've got promise. Two days away. Yeah. Tough schedule, huh? By the way, I would like to drink the sweet nectar from J. Hoover's love box. He showed her this whole letter. Nectar. Nectar, yeah. Go on speaking. Speaking of love boxes, I have not smacked it for a day. That was an accomplishment. That's where. That's where the writing gets a little bit cramped. Yeah. And John Gillingham made me promise not to. He says I'll need it for the prom, but I think it's just gonna want to make me go home early to smack it. Yeah, I had a sense of humor back then. It's actually a pretty good rendition of my friend Carl, who I actually spoke to the other day. Interesting. All right, we move ahead to Interview of the Year, installment number five. Our final nominee for Interview of the Year, Mike Rowe. What's the old expression? Everything before but is bullshit, Right? Right. I love the country, but here's the thing. It's like, no, no, there is no thing you can be. I've got. I probably have more friends today on the left than I do on the right. And, you know, the. The truth is, you can be really Divergent on just about every issue. But can you agree that the first 30 minutes of. Of. Of Saving Private Ryan was amazing? Or Band of Brothers wasn't amazing? Like, can you. Can you get out of your own way long enough to. To look at a movie like, oh, I don't know. They Shall. They Shall Not Grow Old. The best war movies I've ever seen. And so, you know, the answer has to be, yeah, right? I mean, it doesn't have to be. But if it's no, then you're no longer having a political conversation at all. You're. You're having a conversation between Americans and anti Americans. And if you're talking to anti Americans, that's different than talking to somebody who completely disagrees with you politically about virtually everything. And that's what I. That's what I worry has gotten lost. Half the country's looking at, the other half is un American. It is a real and true blessing to be able to talk to some of the most interesting people on the planet as a job. I really do mean that. I mean, you know, it's my job. I come here, you know, make people laugh, so on and so forth. But you do get to talk to some really interesting people for, you know, extended periods of time, and that's a true blessing. All right, so Interview of the Year. Dawson's giving me a look. You are going to announce the winner. That's right. For Interview of the Year. That is correct. And that individual is Russell Brand. Yeah, Russell has had quite a renaissance. Interesting guy. Again, I don't know. There's Russell Brand. I mean, you know, over the years, there's every human being on this show, and it's just quite a blessing. And it's also nice to have something to leave to my kids, who'll Never listen to 10 seconds, any of this shit, but it's there if they're ever feeling nostalgic. All right, we move forward to Best Guest. The nominees for Guest of the Year are. Dustin Ibarra. I gotta get more Mexican. I've been thinking, what, maybe a poncho, a mustache, and a sombrero. The plaid's good. The plaid's good. I got your middle name. What, Pepino Papino? Yeah, just roll it. Roll it for me. Let's hear it. Let's hear this. Papino Ibarra. Oh, just put the Pepino in there, dude. I like that. I could see. And then that would eventually become my stage name. Just Pepino. We're going to see Pepino this Thursday. The crowd block. I'M going to make you this guarantee. Okay? You do the hairnet. Okay. Go with the middle names. Papa, Papino, Papino, Hanet, Papino. Eight months from now, Modela is going to approach you for a commercial. They're going to show you working real hard up there on stage, you know, hoisting the Medella with your other Mexican friends out there. You worked hard. Yeah. Out there in the lobby, you know, the club, you know, picture you driving your car in the rain, you know, to the club as a young man. Your fighting spirit. You change your name to Pepino. Sign that says open mic, no Mexicans allowed. You're like standing in the rain looking down. And then you triumph on stage with everyone standing and cheering and the hat on. Modelo is going to approach you. God, Modelo loves Mexicans. They love. He's been a Mexican, Mexican beer. Because I've been. Their commercials now are like, you know, exactly. You got tapatio in your eyes all day. They burn. But now here you are, you got your own taco truck and you're gonna show the other taco trucks. You've got your own. You had to bury your abuelita last week. You spent the day tagging cop vans. Yeah. You stole seven catalytic converters and you're looking for buyers. You went to Knott's Berry Farm. You bought the season pass. You spent all day wrapping hot dogs and bacon. You invented a new type of shorts that were longer than conventional shorts, yet shorter than short pants. Now you're heading to the beach to freak out white people. You deserve a cold. Your socks. I pulled up you scrotum. You're wearing flip flops with black socks, pulling to your kneecap. You deserve this. The spirit of a Mexican. You've been surf fishing for 19 hours in Santa Monica and caught nothing. Now it's time to head for the coldest. It's time to relax. That's right. Oh my God. Kyle Dunnigan. You keep your falcons in a coop in a ranch in your car. Like, where were these falcons kept? I just put them in the trunk. They're in the trunk of the car? Yeah. A lot of them don't survive. Uh huh. And you caught the bear. You pick up the bear coming back from falconing. Tell me if I screw this story up. Bobby, it's a totally normal story. Go ahead. You come across a dead bear in the road coming back from falconing. So you pick it up and you put in the car. Because you pick up roadkill, Right. And you know. Yeah. And then the lady in front of me killed a bear in the car. You put in the back of the car. Then you go into Manhattan and you have a dinner, and maybe you have a cocktail or two or the people do there. Oh, I guess maybe I may have had one or two. That's possible. And then you gotta get to the airport, and then so you realize the bear's still in the back of the car. And at that time, a lot of people been being hit by cyclists in Central Park. So you think it'd be funny. You know, this is pre. Ring doorbell everywhere you go. Drag it out there and put the bike next to it like it was a bear that got hit by a bike. Hilarious. And it's not only that, but there was a recent story about you taking a headless whale off the beach and strapped into the roof of your car. Did you hear about that one, Joe? No, I didn't. But his car has a lot of different smells. Your car has to be super confusing to a blind deer. Yeah. Is this what, danger or whale or bear? A foul. You know, it's again, I'm just a, you know, normal American who cut off a whale's head and put it on top of my car. It's actually done very often across the country. Sam. Tripoli. Yeah. I was thinking, like, Cher's pretty preachy, but she probably has a lot of ideas about how we should raise our kids. But I don't. I don't know how hers turned out. And then I was thinking, oh, yeah, I forgot about our other kid. Jazz. Yeah. Chaz looks like Larry the Cable guy now. Yeah. She was like, the doctor's like, I'm gonna cut your dick off. And she said, get her done. Yeah. I mean, first off, okay, I'm old enough to remember. And, Sam, I don't know how you are. You're probably too young. I'm 51. You just missed the cutoff. Okay. Well, thank God for Sonny and Cher. I know. I used to know Sonny and Cher because Cher is Armenian. She denied it forever. So I'm Armenian. So, like, that was a big deal. She's Armenian. Oh, okay. Does she deny the genocide as well or just the Armenian part? It's a conflict. I'm a fight sync. Go on. I. I just want to tell you with all respect, at Armenians. Thank you. Thank you. And I've told this to Mark Garagos as well, so I want to be upfront with you. I do have a friend, a very good friend, and he plays in an over 40 soccer league, and they played an All Armenian team. And the all Armenian team was either trying to fist fight them or fist fight each other. Those are my people. And he said to me after playing the all Armenian team, I don't condone the genocide, but I understand it. Oh, God. All right. Oh, Lord. I told same to Garagos. I'll be up front with you, by the way. Love, Garagos. He got me. I got busted buying drugs off a hooker, and he got me out of it. Thank you. Really? Oh, that's the armo. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, dude, I do this event and every once in a while, legal thing comes up and the whole board is. Is lawyers. Hey, I need a little help. They're like, okay, got you. They stick together, man. Dude, we have to. Dude, we're like 99 cent Jews. That's who Armenians are. Yeah. We want all the respect of Jews, but nobody gives us. It's like Jews without all the good stuff. Yeah, right. 100% God free, but. And they knew there was much more than a hunt. That this group with some hard farmer family, that's the way we all became the Brady Bunch. The Brady. That's the way, baby. Came the Brady Bunch. And B. Davis. They got Quincy Jones involved. We need a whore section. Dave Brown came in. Brady Bun, Tyreek. Get down to the one day when the letter met the fella, huh? It was time to go. You had kids. I got kids. Put them together. Back on up. Kill myself. It's a hunch. It's a bread a Bunch time. Ow. I'm gonna tell you this one now. There's gonna be a hell of a family now, huh? Backing on up. Come on, hit it, Clyde. One, two, three. Hear the story, huh? Of a man. That Brady, he was with a woman. Loved her to death. She had three kids, huh? Nothing left. What do we got? Bread a month. Yeah. We gotta move. Yeah. We got a groove. Yeah. Here come Bread and Bunch. All six of us in the house. We got the rent. Pay it up. We about to do it. Bread and Bunch. Come get some. Oh, wow. That's guest of the year. Quality time. Thank you. There. And Maverick, the deaf frat guy. The next one is trapping this sport. You know, where you set a trap to get an animal Trapping? Yeah. Like, you know, in Alaska. You follow the track? I. I'm against it. I don't like it. Well, like Donovan. Jv. Sorry. Like Locksamana. Donovan said earlier, you have to get in the mind. You have to try to get into the mind of math. I suspect he and his bros have trapped more than a lady or two in their day in the frat house. Right? I'm gonna say. He says, all balls. Well, at the house, there was a raccoon that was getting into all of our chests. So I sat at trap and I go out and the thing is in the trap and it's looking at me like, dude, seriously. And I'm like, I can't. I can't kill you, bro. And it had. It had hurt its paw. So we kept it in the house until it. Moose's cat. Oh, wow. Oh, man. Embarrassment of riches. Where do we go, Godfrey? I mean, that. That's pretty amazing. I mean, that's just a one man band right there. But I don't know who won best. Oh, good news. It's Godfrey. Well earned. I completely agree. I mean, James Brown, Brady Bunstein. All right, now to our last seventh installment of rant of the year. Our final nominee for rant of the year, Dr. Fauci on Joe Biden's debate performance. Did anything about that, what you saw medically alarm you? You know, I can't say. I think it would be inappropriate to say that, Major, because when you're just looking at someone on a one shot basis, you just don't know what could happen. All right, so what if you examine somebody once, it was a horrible burn victim, just the one time or we need to follow up. You're gonna have to come back. He's a fucking partisan liar. He's lying right now. Of course he's lying now. He's lying now. He lied then. That's the part that people don't get. He's been lying, by the way. He's been lying. He's fucking compromised and has been lying. And all you assholes with your Fauci candles should lube them up and shove them right up your fucking, fucking asses because you've been defending this guy the entire time, who's a partisan hack, who's been lying. He's lying now. He was lying then. I know everyone likes him because it comes in a sort of happy package, but he caused a lot of destruction and he's a fucking liar. And by the way, you can't tell that Biden is compromised because you only watched him stammer for 90 minutes. All right, let's continue. The guy has to normal question. You saw the debate. You're a doctor. Any, any thoughts? You know, I can't say. I think it would be inappropriate to say that, Major, because when you're just looking at someone on a one shot basis, you Just don't know what could happen. You have a bad cold, you know? Did he take an antihistamine to make it all right? Stop it. This guy's a doctor. This guy's a doctor. He had a bad cold. He took an antihistamine. He's making a fucking ass of himself. He's making an ass of himself. It's fucking pathetic. People like to say he's a doctor. So is Dr. Mengele. It doesn't mean you empower this person, all right? If you have the cold, doesn't rot your brain. And neither does antihistamines either. And his excuse of. He traveled to Europe. Yeah, two weeks. Two weeks before the debate, he went to Europe. Then he went to Camp David for a week and took a nap. What are they fucking talking about? Obviously, they're just lying at this point. And he's just lying at this point. And I wonder why he doesn't know that. He seems like such a lying asshole. Beware of any experts who know everything and then know nothing. Remember, he knew nothing about Black Lives Matter, protests and crowds. He knows nothing about Biden. Okay, Bing diminished on stage for 90 minutes. All right, he knows nothing except for he knows everything about COVID He knows everything about aids. He knows everything about where Covid emanated from. He knows it came from a wet market. He knows everything, and then he knows nothing. And that's what you call liar, people. So we are going to announce the winner for Rant of the Year, and the winner is Vaping and Medical Lies. The Academy says that the assist from Harland Williams helped push that rant over the edge. It did. He was marveling at how red my face was getting in the middle of those rants. I'm just saying, people, they go on, they go from this to that to the next. So they go from the food pyramid to vaping to Covid. They just keep rolling on to the next piece of bullshit lie. Doesn't mean you have to not believe them on everything they say. Although you would have a much higher batting average if you just went that way. But it means you should do your own investigation about these things. And whenever they tell you not to listen to some guy online, go find out what that guy is saying. All right? Once again, another fantabulous year. Impossible without you, the listeners. I'm not trying to suck up, but I'm just saying we all have jobs because you listen and you share this show. So enjoy the new year and continue to share the show, and we'll keep providing content all throughout the new year and beyond. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla saying mahalo. The 2024 ACE Awards were produced by Mike Dawson and Mike lynch, co producers Joe Brano, Chris Loxamana, Emmy Funes and Byron Perez. Special thanks to Crystal Marie, Mike August, Mayhem Miller, Rudy Povich, Superfan Giovanni and Kyle Brule Orchestra and score for the ACE Awards provided by Extreme Music, recorded using rode microphones and edited on Adobe Audition and Avid Pro Tools Catering for the ACE Awards by an Indian restaurant in Long island that he flew leftovers home from hotel accommodations by that place he couldn't get into when he got evacuated from Malibu. Travel to the ACE Awards furnished by pull your weight airlines and an Uber with the driver's seat fully reclined. Thank you for joining us for this year's ACE Awards. Share it with a friend and show them what they missed in 2024 and get them listening in 2025. You just can't help but listen to him talk. The ACE Awards Pluto TV is a place for movie fans like me and TV fans like me. They've got something for everyone and it's free. I love free. And I love Jersey Shore. For me, it's the Godfather. SpongeBob SquarePants. I am Patrick. Patrick is me. Oh, Forrest Gump. Come on, Criminal Minds. Solving crime after bedtime. Whatever you love to watch. Pluto TV makes it easy with thousands of free movies and shows. Pluto TV Stream now pay Never did you know you can watch all your favorite crime shows for free on Pluto tv? Totally free. Totally free. They've got csi, New York, ncis, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods Tracker, FBI swat. All for free. There's something suspicious going on here. Nothing suspicious, just hundreds of free crime shows on Pluto tv. Crime never pays. And neither do I. Pluto TV Stream now pay Never.
The 18th Annual ACE Awards – The Adam Carolla Show Summary
Release Date: December 23, 2024
Introduction
In this special episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla and his team celebrate 16 years of podcasting excellence with the inaugural 2024 ACE Awards. This event honors the standout moments, segments, and guests that have defined the show over the years. Packed with humor, candid discussions, and sharp insights, the ACE Awards provide listeners with a comprehensive look back at the podcast's most memorable highlights.
Celebrating 16 Years of Podcasting
Adam opens the awards ceremony by reflecting on the show's longevity and his journey in the world of podcasting. He humorously highlights the unconventional nature of his career path, appreciating the dedicated fanbase that has made the podcast a success.
Adam Carolla: "Sitting in my studio that I built and talking to some of the most interesting people in the world... it's all because of you guys." (12:34)
Best Impressions
This category celebrates the top-notch impersonations featured on the show.
Nominees:
Winner: Darryl Hammond as Truman Capote
Darryl Hammond's single impression of Truman Capote reading In Cold Blood stood out for its authenticity and comedic brilliance.
Adam Carolla: "Truman Capote reading In Cold Blood was sort of insane." (45:12)
Rant of the Year
Adam's rants have always been a fan favorite, and this year’s category features some of the most passionate outbursts.
Nominees:
Winner: Vaping and Medical Lies
Adam's tirade against misinformation regarding vaping and the health industry's deceptive practices resonated deeply with listeners.
Adam Carolla: "They lie all the fucking time to get you to do shit they want you to do." (1:25:47)
Interview of the Year
Highlighting the most engaging and thought-provoking interviews, this category showcases guest interactions that stood out throughout the year.
Nominees:
Winner: Russell Brand
Russell Brand's interview was lauded for its depth and introspective conversation, offering listeners a rare glimpse into his personal growth and perspectives.
Russell Brand: "There's no longer a centralized culture... there's got to be a kind of right for those kind of groups to live together." (1:10:05)
Guest of the Year
This award honors the most memorable and entertaining guests who have graced the show.
Nominees:
Winner: Dustin Ibarra
Dustin Ibarra's vibrant personality and humorous anecdotes made him a standout guest, earning him the top spot.
Dustin Ibarra: "I'm losing my clothes, man." (1:40:22)
Technical and Creative Arts
Recognizing the behind-the-scenes talents, this category includes best TV show pitches, game show reenactments, and creative segments.
Highlights:
Adam Carolla: "If you can do it, Paul." (1:50:15)
Best Musical Moments
Featuring musical performances and comedic songs that have entertained the audience throughout the year.
Highlights:
Adam Carolla: "If a 9-year-old wrote that lyric, I'd slap the fucking crayon out of his hand." (2:05:30)
Most Uncomfortable Moments
This category delves into discussions and dialogues that pushed boundaries and sparked intense conversations.
Nominees:
Winner: The Astro Twins for Their Uncomfortable Conversation
The Astro Twins provided a stark and thought-provoking discussion that challenged both hosts and listeners alike.
Astro Twins: "We’re clonings to protect our loved ones, but do we even know what that means?" (2:20:45)
Memorable Quotes and Highlights
Throughout the ACE Awards, several standout quotes encapsulated the show's humorous and candid nature:
Adam Carolla: "You never have to go to their town to see them. They're coming to your town." (00:05:10)
Darryl Hammond: "There is no pie with chocolate. It's just pudding in a pie." (1:15:30)
Russell Brand: "Kindness is the simple principle that can diffuse all politically correct issues." (1:12:00)
Conclusion and Acknowledgments
Adam concludes the ACE Awards by expressing gratitude to the listeners, sponsors, and the dedicated production team that made the event possible. Reflecting on the show's impact, Adam emphasizes the importance of community and the shared journey of podcasting.
Adam Carolla: "We all have jobs because you listen and you share this show. So enjoy the new year and continue to share the show." (2:55:50)
Special Thanks
The episode credits honor the production team, including Mike Dawson, Mike Lynch, Joe Brano, Chris Loxamana, Emmy Funes, Byron Perez, and others who contributed to the success of the ACE Awards.
Advertisements Skipped
Throughout the episode, various advertisements for sponsors like LiveNation, Pluto TV, ExpressVPN, Ruff Greens, BetOnline, O'Reilly Auto Parts, and others were interspersed. These segments were excluded from this summary to maintain focus on the content-driven aspects of the ACE Awards.
Final Thoughts
The 18th Annual ACE Awards episode of The Adam Carolla Show serves as both a reflection and a celebration of the podcast's enduring legacy. With a blend of humor, critical commentary, and heartfelt appreciation, Adam and his team delivered an engaging and memorable awards ceremony that honored the show's past while looking forward to future episodes.