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Adam Carolla Show
The 2025 Adam Carolla Show Ace Awards: Rants, Special Guests, Interviews and More!
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Well, it's the 2025 ACE Awards and I've heard them already and it is good, man. It's really well done, really well produced and really funny. And if there's somebody you know who you're thinking about turning the show onto or go, hey, you should check this out. I would definitely say the ACE Awards is the best. It's a little Hickory Farms sampler of the Adam Carolla show. So lots of laughs, lots of good rants, lots of great guests and we'll do that right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Bowl season is here and Bet Online gives you more ways to play the latest odds, breaking news, live scores and in game betting so you never miss a moment of college football, bulls, NFL playoff races. It's all there, all the time. Every bowl matchup, NFL late season games, all the way to NBA hardwood battles, college hoops tip offs. Bet Online has you locked in all year long. 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It's not some shady consolidation loan. It's real debt relief. The kind credit card companies would rather you never found out about. They don't exactly love the idea of you finally getting free free from underneath them. So if you're drowning in debt, now's the time to take a look. Head over to dra.com that's dra.com find out what kind of relief you qualify for and start turning things around today. Don't put it off. Don't do it again. Dra.com get some relief from the historic Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, it's the 20th annual ACE Awards, celebrating the very best of the Adam Carolla show in 2025, featuring Trophy Girl Alicia Krause and seat fillers Jason Mayhem Miller, Rudy Pavich and Mike Dawson. And now your host for this evening's ceremonies, Adam corolla. All right, 20th. Oh, my God. Every year I sit here and go, my God, 20th. Well, not every year. Sometimes it's different numbers. Usually lesser numbers be weird. On the 14th, you're like, oh, the 20th. Hot damn. Rudy and Dawson are hanging in the studio. There's so much to get to. I always talk too much in between stuff and it takes too long. So I think we're just going to hop to it. I am going to say, obviously this is impossible without everyone who's listening. And 20 years of this is insane. I was thinking it's my longest running job, which is weird to have podcasting. The longest running job. I thought it'd be like postal service type job or something. When I was younger, I was talking to Dr. Drew yesterday about life and expectations and stuff like that. And he was talking about seeing the Charlie Sheen doc and seeing all the Estevez brothers and the Penn brothers and all this guys growing up in Malibu and they're all like filming each other with cameras and wanted to be actors, like, and in the sort of expectation they had as like young people was, I'm going to be an actor and a performer and an artist and whatever. And I said. And then Drew started saying, well, his parents were. His dad was like a depression era guy. He was so worried about being broke all the time. And he needed Drew to be a doctor, to be a professional. And I said, we didn't. When I was growing up, and I don't mean growing up, I mean growing up to 18, 19, 20, 22. We never even talked about professions. Cop, fireman, nurse, doctor, sure. We talked about an hourly wage. That's all we talked about. It's like, what would you do for 10 bucks an hour? What would I do for. I do gay porn, bro, for 10 bucks. Like, we had $10 an hour conversations. That was a lot of money back then. And then, like, I remember being on the job site probably about two or three years into carpentry, I was probably making nine bucks, ten, maybe ten bucks an hour. Two, three years in, and there was a young guy on the job site, youngish, carpenter. He was making 15 an hour, 15 an hour. And I was like, it's 120 bucks a day, that's 600 bucks a week, it was like. It was. It was crazy. But that. The notion that my group and my family and my association only spoke in terms of an hourly wage. We didn't even talk about benefits and time, you know, holidays and golden time, and we didn't talk about any of that. Like I said, even firemen and cop jobs were like careers. You'd have a career in law enforcement or something like that, you know, doctor and lawyer was off the table. We just spoke in terms of, like, making our way up to 15 bucks an hour one day, but working in some, you know, working in some warehouse somewhere, driving a forklift and getting $15 an hour. So the notion that I can come into this building and be with people I enjoy being around and talking to a microphone for a living is absolutely insane. And it was unthinkable, and I don't forget that. But impossible without everyone who listens and tells a friend. And I think I can't speak for everybody here, but I speak for myself when I say thank you for doing that, because without it, I would be nowhere right now. So I appreciate the fact that you've let me ride these coattails for the last 18 months. You're very good. Stand up. So you'd be somewhere. Ah, I'd still be back in Minnesota, definitely, but maybe still back in Minnesota. But I appreciate you because I think it was one time. I can't remember where we were, but you made a comment about, I don't know where you guys would be, but I know where I would be, and it'd be sitting right in this exact same spot. And I was like, oh, that's right. Yeah, you would be in the same exact spot. We would still be floundering around. I always tell people that as long as there is amplified sound and recorded from microphones, Adam will be talking into one. And the other thing I always say, just to coattail on what you're saying, none of this is possible without the people who are listening. Without them, this does not exist. So we're grateful every year for everybody. All right, so we'll go right into it. First category, Best Impression. The nominees for best impression are. Daryl Hammond as Don Pardo. He went from saying cool and the gang to crazy rap names that he probably had. And he was probably cool in the gang. But. But give me some good rap names because there's like, Mac 10. Lil. Lil. You can't say little. You gotta say lil, you know, Uzi or whatever it is. And he probably had no idea what, what, what any of this was like. He knew the doobie brothers in 1978 when he did the Doobie Brothers. Yeah. But at the end, he was naming bands, rap bands he'd never. He'd never heard of. We used to see him walking around, say, Takashi 69 and Little featuring Lil Uzi. Go ahead. Takashi 69 featuring Little Uzi. That's right. And then add. Try dollar sign. Sorry, tie dollar sign and tie dollar sign. Don, it's 50 cent. Not. Not. You keep saying 50 cent. I can say 50. When I was a lad, you could buy an automobile for 50 Cent. 50 Cent. That's right. There it is. 50 Cent. Yeah. Now say it like that. I can buy an automobile for 50 cent. Yeah. So, Don, you keep little when you should be saying little. Little. Little Wayne. Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne. L. Wayne. And. And Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne featuring Fitty. Featuring Fitty, Son. That's. There you go. So you were saying Lil Wayne featuring 50 Cent. Now it's Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne featuring 50 Cent. Jay Moore as Bill Burr. Jay does a Bill Burr that makes me howl. And he's. He's tapped into the essence of Bill Burr. And I think you'll recognize it when you hear it, but it's basically taking almost anything and dismissing it verbally. Yeah, we all know Bill Burr, right? I mean, Bill Burr. All right, so I wrote down a couple of monumental things and I thought maybe you could build. Burritize it for us. Chuck Yeager breaking the sound barrier. Yeah. So what? Well, that's pretty monumental. Is it? Like I give a shit. Well, I mean, some fucking rich white guy in a rocket. Like I care, you know. But, Bill, I mean, you got it back then. 40s, technology, breaking the sound. Yeah, it's great. Since 40s, you know, there was some don't be brought at home. When are you going out on your rocket? All the time. Time. Stupid broad. Like I care. Like I give a Chuck Yeager. Him, you know. Okay. Ah, well, how about. How about the movie Gone with the Win? I mean, that is a classic. The best part is when everything burnt down. No, Bill, come on. First time, it was monumental. What time was that? Four years after slavery. Oh, no. Why do you have to break slavery into everything? Who cares? Going with the way. And all those ladies with those stupid dresses. Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn. Billy Hope that guy gets cancer and dies. The guy. Fuck him. You know, Bill, I mean, it's a cinematic triumph. Is it? Is it? Yeah, it is. It is. You can't just say is it? To everything. I think we're enjoying this way more than the audience. This might be a little inside baseball. Steven Baldwin as Alec Baldwin. Alex says to me, my God, my God, you do great, Walton. What happened? What happened? I went, what? What? What do you mean, man? What do you. He's like, man, who'd have ever thought? All these years later, Stephen born again, right wing, Republican, conservative. I looked right at him, I said, what are you talking about? I'm a registered liberal. I said, how I vote is something, you know, it doesn't matter. It's none of your business, but I'm a registered. I'm sorry. I said, I'm a registered independent. Independent is the word I used. I said, I'm not registered as a Republican. I'm registered as an independent. You know what he said to me? We all know you're a Republican sympathizer. Kyle Dunnigan as Rodney Dangerfield. You're full time here, New Yorker. Oh, yeah, I'm here all the time. It's great to be here. What a club. You know, Rodney, I gotta tell you, everyone worships you and looks up to you, but the one time I met you, you were kind of a douche to me. I gotta say. Sorry, I didn't know what a talent you were. Good God. Okay, you don't have to take cheap shots. We're doing Loveline, the TV show on mtv. I just went to your dress room to say hi. Yeah, yeah, you remember that? Just barge into a big stuff, the star's dressing room. Why. Why wouldn't I say hello? No, I was. I knocked politely. I. You were in your bathrobe. Yeah. Get out. Doesn't mean come in. Okay. Great guy, great guy. But anyway, Rodney, I know you like the spleef back in the day, which is weird, you know, because you think of him as a highball guy, not. Not a weed guy. But Rodney like to. Like to toke it out a little bit, take the edge off. Yeah. People break into my dressing room. Yeah, I didn't break in, I knocked. Stressing me out. Okay, so club here. By the way, they're making Coven Coven 20 in the bathroom. And Elon Gold as Donald Trump and Chris Rock. But the observation that. That Trump is the Chris Rock of presidents, he is that the repeating. Like when he talked about. Just the other night, he talked about the mice. He goes, you know, you look at the transgender mice, and they're not doing very well. You know, they don't know. Am I Mickey? Am I many? What am I? I don't know what to be his two hour speech. Could be 36 minutes. Stop. Yes. She was hit with the volleyball. Now what? Hit with it. And it was so bad. You know, know, you look at it, and she was hit with a volleyball. It was, it was. It was such a volleyball. And you look at volleyballs and I know a lot of volleyballs. And this volleyball was so. And it's the same with Rock. The girl was hit with a volleyball. Hit with a ball. A ball. A volleyball hit with the ball. It's like, we could do this in three minutes. Wow. Wow. I don't. I mean, so much variation. You have. You have a Baldwin on Baldwin. You know, you have multiple ones. You got on stage. Ones. I do love the. I love Bill Burr because I love all you. You can say anything. And he just goes, is it? And he's won the argument. Yeah. And then Daryl Hammond doing Don Pardo. And he did Don Pardo on snl. Oh, right, right. So that's a. That's a strange one right in there. And you know Kyle Dunnigan doing Rodney inside of a club called Rodney. There's a lot of meta going on here. Listen, I, Daryl Hammond should do the Pardo thing because the premise. Sorry for blowing smoke up my own ass. Is funny because Pardo is there from the beginning. So he's just doing Linda Ronstadt and Neil Young and Paul McCartney, Jim Croce. And then at some point he's Tekashi Six Nine featuring Little N Word or something. And he doesn't. But by the way, he's 89 at this point. It doesn't even know what this is. Like, these are typos, right? No, that's tonight's entertainment. He's like, I don't. I don't know. These are words. Yes, yes. Paul McCartney and wings. That's a thing, right? This is. I know. Cheap Trick. I can say that. This. I don't know what the this is. And that had to be Trevors. Yeah. That had to be his entire last decade of his life. All right, here it is. The winner for best impersonation or impression. Kyle Dun again, everybody. Yeah. Well deserved, well deserved. Yeah. Acceptance speech. She. Wow. I won an ACE Award. What an honor. Yeah. What an honor. I'll put that on my resume under who gives a. I'm kidding. I miss you, Adam and the gang there. I'll see you in Hawaii. Oh, wait, I don't go there anymore. Enjoy. Oh, that's great. Great. I remember when Kyle Dungan first won Guest of the year, and it was the. The first year that he was on this show. He was at the Christmas party. I pulled him aside and I said, look, man, this is kind of a jokey thing, but that award that you won is the most prestigious award in comedy podcasting. Yeah, I mean, there's 200 people come in. You know, 250 people come in here a year, right? Yeah. Guest of the year. Pretty. Pretty good. All right, now we move on to our first installment of Rant of the Year. Our first nominee for Rant of the Year, Charlie Kirk and the end hate. End zone. I have been railing against the, you know, end the hate. Stop hate. Stop racism. End racism. I go, stop it. Stop saying it all the time. And I was like, what's wrong with the NFL putting end hate or stop hate? I go, because you're. You're acting as if we're drowning in hate when we really don't have any hate or whatever hate we have. It is what's wrong with Joe Biden. Every third speech, talking about white supremacy being the biggest problem and whatever. And it's like. Because something will be created out of this. So this guy, Tyler Robinson, he had his text exchange with his boyfriend, who's a dude who's becoming a chick. He said, I had enough of this hatred, of his hatred. Talking about Charlie Kirk. Some hate can't be negotiated, okay? So he's. He's gonna put an end to the hate. He's putting an end to the hate. You see, Charlie Kirk hates. And the NFL says to end hate or to stop hate. So how do you stop a hater? You gotta do it with a gun. Wow. Just the math. Yeah. Mm. People have no. We have no idea what we're doing. Like, convincing black people that cops hate them and that they can't get ahead. Talking about racism all the time, talking about hate everywhere. We have no fucking idea what the poisoning of the American mind with all this thing. And their thing is hate, by the way. It's the same thing with safety. They go, what's wrong with being safe? Well, let's have a safe. Have a safe Thanksgiving. Have a safe drive. Have a safe. Have a safe. Have a safe. You're destructive with that shit. You're destructive with the. What's wrong with being safe? We're just. Because the next fucking Covid comes along, you're masking up 2 year olds and locking everyone in their house and giving them mental disorders and shutting down schools. That's what's wrong with your safety everywhere. And the hate thing is, you know, it's a joke. You know, Kamala Harris, Obama. You guys talk, talk about. Then you go hang out with white fucking people and spend tons of money and go to Martha's Vineyard. It's a fucking joke to you. It's not a joke to a 19 year old who's on meds. Who's going to take action on the hate that you don't believe in. Did you ever think that your old bit slippery slope guy would come as true as it has? That's me. I know. All right, second rant of the year. Our second nominee for rant of the year. Dogs in restaurants. It's a pit bull that's got a little pup or lap dog and it's jowls and it's coming down and everyone's just kicking the pit bull and everyone's screaming, why is he not letting go? And then there's always dumb chicks making stupid comments. What's going on? So people are like commenting, you know, like, what is that pit bull doing? Or the person with that pit bull should have had a muzzle. And I was like, or people have stopped bringing their fucking dogs to restaurants. Is that an option? Is there an option? How is it that I sailed through my entire, entire life nary a dog in a restaurant or an airplane or an airport or anywhere? Anywhere. There was no dogs. There was like one guy with a seeing eye dog. And listen, my thing with the seeing, I. Look, if your dog doesn't have a handle on it, then it's out. If it's got 12 foot, a leash, that's not a. That's not your service dog. Can't be 14ft in front of you. You just got to be on ahead handle. Do not bring your dog to the restaurant. Just don't do it. And by the way, people are talking about the pit bull. Hey, don't bring your lap dog and it won't get eaten by a pit bull. Guess who else is trying to eat here? Human beings. Yeah. Yeah. Pit bulls and human beings are trying to eat under the same room. Just leave your dog at home. Narcissist. Yeah. It's crazy that we brought dogs in from the woods and we were like, we're gonna make them our little house pets. Slippery slope. A while. A little bit of that DNA, that little wolf, that little hunter DNA skirts through and there's an animal just like you saw in the video there. Where? And you go, why did it do that? I don't know. Because that's what it was meant to do. Next thing you know, dogs in the courtroom, pretty soon they're going to make one a judge. Yeah. Yeah. My thing is, you know, what's the pit bull doing? But what are you doing with your fucking piece of shit dog? As well. Yeah. There's ways to avoid special. Absolutely. All this. Yeah. Absolutely. All right. Yep. All right. First installment of Best Interview. The first nominee for Interview of the Year, Billy Bush. Monday, they pulled me off the air. By the following Friday, we are in a conference room at my lawyer's office. We with a litigator, NBC, litigator minus. And then there's the settlement and the thing and the. Let me, Let me be clear about one thing. I am not. I don't have grievances at this point. I'm not. I've, I've talked about this a bit. I, I, I think you're fascinated with it. I get it. I've been through the process. I got great stuff going on. Life is a shit sandwich. Eat it or starve. Everybody has something that's gonna hit them hard. I mean, you could have an ill child, something in your family. I don't know. This was a shitstorm for me. If you haven't had one in your life, you're going to. I hope that you're better prepared for yours than I was for mine. So now you're out of work and a little bit unemployable, right? Oh, yeah. No, no, no. The phone's not ringing. There's a lot of. Billy, you're a great guy. We love you. You're so terrific. It's just not really the right time. And I'm going, no, no, wait a minute. I gotta get back. What consumed me? You know, in retrospect, I wish I just, like, went to Sweden and opened a bar and, like, did something different and enjoyed this time of life where they gave me some money and I, like, went and did something wonderful, but instead I sat and drank like a fish and pulled my hair out and said, you betrayal. God damn it. I can't believe what's happened. And I just melted down. I ended up in a mental health place. I mean, I literally couldn't believe that my life had turned upside down in an instant, and I was a sad sack and a loser and pissed and all that. Wow. There's something. Look, I'm not trying to pile accolades on myself, but whenever somebody gets railroaded for nothing but society decides they should be railroaded, I always fucking stand up and start screaming about it, and everyone looks at me. It really shows what insane sheep we are and what cowards we are and how little character people Have. Because it's my. Just shut up, Matt Damon thing where he goes, well, let's not conflate what Harvey Weinstein was doing with Al Franken. And everyone's like. And I'm like, yeah, shut up. Leave him alone. He's not doing anything. And everyone's like, people get. So we just had it with Megyn Kelly, Barely Legal. I'm like, she's not what she means. But everyone there should be. You know, when the host of the Bachelor, you know, gets thrown off the show for defending somebody who had an antebellum party or something, and everyone should fucking stand up and go, bullshit. You. Bullshit. You can't fucking fire people who are standing next to people who are doing shit that you don't approve of. Right? And we all just go, I don't want. I don't. I don't want trouble. I don't want trouble. It's like, you don't understand where we're going as a society. You need to fucking say, all I ever said was, what the fuck With Billy Bush. He got railroad. What do you want him to do? He's walking outside. First off, he's not supposed to be recorded. Secondly, he's not doing anything. What the fuck is going on? Thirdly, Trump's making a joke, clearly, because he says, well, when I see this woman, man, I just grab her by the pussy. I'm liable just to put a kiss on her. I could do whatever I want. And then the woman walks into the frame, is like, oh, hello. How are you? Good. Shakes her hand. Yes. Nice to meet you. Yes. Oh, okay. Anyway, thank you. Have a good day. So he doesn't do. So here's the retarded left's conceit. He walks around Manhattan and grabs women by the pussy. And then you go, that's hyperbole and a joke. And he goes. He said, that's what he does. And then he says, he's liable to do it. And then the woman walks into frame. So it's basically. It's like me going, I'm the kind of guy. I'll snatch that slice of pizza right out of your hand and eat it right in front of your fucking face, fucker. And then some guy walks in eating pizza, and I just stand there. How are you? Is that anchovy? Smells good. Yeah. Thank you. And I leave. Well, obviously, then I don't do that, because if I did do it, then I would do it right now. Yeah. How many of your dipshit high school friends have been like, I'm Going to kick that guy's ass. And that guy walks in and you go, hey, what's up, dude? Never mind. There's a better way. There's another version of this that drives me nuts. It's maybe a chick thing, but dudes do it too, you know, they'll do a thing where I go, my boss told me to work on Sunday. I said, if you're so fucking smart, why don't you fucking work on Sunday? Then you go, you told your boss? Well, no, I didn't say that. Yeah, well, then don't say I told him. You said standing there silently nodding is not you telling him to off. Exactly. I told him. All right. Best invention. The nominees for best invention are. The subway busking belt. You took the subway here? Yeah. That the whole cart wants to hear his music. I had the guy who decided everyone wanted to hear mariachi music. And this guy got on and he had a guitar and he had his wife and she was playing the tambourine and he was singing, but the train was rocking and he couldn't really get his footing because he's wearing cowboy boots and he's holding a guitar that's bigger than he is because he's like this big. And he's bouncing around. He's trying to steady himself against a post, but it's not working. And that's when I came up with this invention. This is called busking, by the way. When you go out, you play, and you get paid. It's called busking. The subway busking belt, where you just pop it on, snap it in front of the post, cinch it up, and then you can stand there, steady as she goes, cranking out la cucaracha or one panamero. Whatever, whatever it is not big tam on that, though. Total addressable market. Oh, you're not gonna make a lot of money. You don't think they're a lot of mariachi buskers? Well, that's five more than you sold. I love your knowledge of the ranchero music pack. I came up with an invention a long time ago and I. I really think this would should catch on the male gynecologist. Don't worry, I'm gay. Package shows up with a picture of you and your boyfriend shows up with the adopted kid. Picture shows up with the gay flag. And we just convinced every woman who comes up with the guys. And so when the husband or the boyfriend goes, this fucking kind of cops guy's good looking. Here you go. Relax, he's gay. He's only a finger. Look at his office. He's got a picture of his adopted kid. He's got his boyfriend over there. He's got the gay flag swinging on. It'd just be a package. Be like 89 bucks. You send in a picture yourself, we'll match you with a guy. You know what I mean? We'll just get Rando, black or Chinese kid adopted. You know, put that on the desk. Put. Put the stuff in the waiting room. Gay flag, whatever. We're done. Give you a golden doodle to walk around the block. We don't have to talk. We don't have to say anything. You'll get it when you show up. Throwback, fast food menus. I just came up with a great idea. The NFL and now MLB, I think does it as well. I don't think the NBA does it. The NFL does the throwback uniform. They go. And everyone loves the throwback uniforms. There were uniforms from the 60s, from the 70s, that, like, people remember when they were kids watching the old Seahawks uniform or the old anything. They're Dallas Cowboys. Okay. Buccaneers where I come from. Ranch. Yeah, it's all good. Everyone loves orange Buccaneers logo. Right, Right. Okay. Fast food. Throwback menu. Once a month. One Sunday. Yes, one Sunday. One Sunday a month. I can go to Taco Bell and all of a sudden it's 1974, and I'm getting a bell beefer. I'm getting frijoles and I'm getting all the stuff that existed. I'm getting a tostada. I'm getting all this stuff I loved when I was a kid that they pulled off the menu. Yes. And now replaced with, you know, way too much. Just, you know, squeezed cheese and mountain cream. Mountain Dew. I. None of it. All gone one Sunday, and everybody's got to do it. Fake bug zapper. You're going to a chiropractor. Fine. I don't really know what they do. I'm not a big fan. Fan. I think it's the cracking. Because you go there and you lay down and they know how to do it. And they go, yep. And you hear that crack, crack, crack. And you go, oh, yeah, that's. Something happened. So. Oh, yeah. They crack you. They crack you. But I realized I can crack my knuckles. My hands don't feel any different or better. Chiropracting without the crack. Right. I don't think they got business. It's like two people. They're out of fucking business now. And then I thought the cracking to the chiropractor is the zap sound of the bug zapper and that's when I realized I could deal. I know people in China, okay? I could develop a bug Zapper for like $3. A unit that I could sell for $49 on Amazon. It wouldn't kill bugs, right? It was just a sound machine that made the zapping sound. And it had a blue light. It would cost $3. Cuz we wouldn't have to kill any bugs. And you'd hang it up on your porch, you hear? Right? And you just sit there being eaten alive by mosquitoes going, yeah. Oh, I made the right choice. You know how many would bite us if we didn't have that thing? Yeah, yeah. And I'd have to do. I do. Every fifth one would be a long one, right? I go, oh, that was a. That was a crane fly, man. That was a big one. That was a big one. Goddamn squirrel. It be. It'd be intermittent, you know what I mean? So I'd be baited into this thing, right? A bug zapper without the zapping sound. Out of business the next week. Chiropractor without the cracking. No more. No more for you. And dwarf zamboni. I think I may have myself an ACE Award right here. Talking about me wearing those robes, I'm thinking, you don't have a clean floor. You need to clean a floor. You hire dwarves. You hire dwarves. Get some bathrobes. We walk around your house 20 minutes, spotless. Because now you may know this. To clear grass on a large farm field. Get the sheep, you get the goats. The goats come in. They come in, they eat all the grass. Now you have. Now you have a nice manicured lawn. That's what we could do with dwarves. Yeah, but Disney heard about it and did it cgi. You know what they did? They put a kid on a Roomba and they're like, that's the same thing. Yeah, it's like, I heard about this. It's a dwarf cover on the show. Well, let's talk about it. It's like a dwarf Zamboni. That is lowercase Z. Yeah, yeah. All right. I love that. Although you bring the goats in, they eat the grass, and you got to clean up the goat shit. Do we have to clean the dwarf shit all over the floor? Floors will be clean, but now we got extra. I do like that Brad called his shot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's an ACE Award. Yeah. You know, these are good. They're. They're not as good as my previous plywood jumpsuit for riding situations. You know, when the shit goes down with antifa and they're storming in the streets. And you, you got a plywood hoodie and jumpsuit and you just lay against the window. Yeah, because old place will be boarded up. People just run right past you. Definitely not as good as Ascent, which is the fart smelling vape for airplanes. And by the way, what's the over under on the amount of time on this show that we've dedicated to the Bell Beaver? Is it an hour? Have we talked? Are we approaching two hours on the Bell Beaver? Look, everyone has nostalgia. They have nostalgia for the old girlfriends. They love the songs and they fucking love the menu of their youth. Because the reality is fast food has always been shitty. But when you're nine, you don't know it. And so stuck in your head is, this is the best now it's not any worse or better than it is today. You're just not nine. Yeah, but recapturing that, it'd be huge. All right, the winner for best invention is Fake bug zapper. Oh, yeah. Very nice. Very nice. Yeah. If I did bug zappers, I. I would go. Ours has to come with like a subwoofer on it. Like, I want to hear serious. I want you to be upstairs and see the end table shake a little sonic boom. That thing's killer, man. It's killer. And the bug zapper, that's just the sound. I would also advertise you never have to clean it. And people go, how's that work? It's proprietary technology, bro. Never be a pug. There'd never be a pan of fried bugs for you to have to deal with. You'll never be bugged cleaning this bug zapper. That's right. Self cleaning subwoofered bug zapper. Wow. Wow. It's getting better. It's getting better. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. The new year doesn't need a new you just needs a version of you that's carrying around a little less baggage. And sometimes that means having someone help you get out of your own way. I know I do. I've always felt strongly about this. 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All right, we move on to rant. Our third rant of the year. Our third nominee for rant of the year, Justin Trudeau. The best clip of Justin Trudeau is. I love it when people get up on when he was trying to give the LGBTQ spirit plus thing and he just fucked it up. Let's hear it. Make me laugh. I will never apologize for standing up for an lgdp. Lgt. Lbt. Yeah. Okay, homo. Hit the bricks. Hit the bricks. Homo. Kids rights. All right. He's never. He's never gonna apologize for standing up for marginalized. Okay, hero. Hit the fucking bricks. You pussy. Take your rope bracelet with you. Your little yarn bracelet. Hit the fucking bricks. Go ruin some other country. Yeah, it's the narcissism thing. I'm telling you. All roads lead to narcissism. Just the fact that. That every one of these progressive politicians does the. I never will get tired of standing up for the rights of people who are the indigenous and whatever populace. It's like, oh, God, you're such a hero. You're fucking Katy Perry right now in Milan, okay? You're following around your bitch on a tour and then fucking her in her lavish green room. But you never stand up. You never get tired of standing up. He'll never get tired of standing up. Except for he's fucking Katy Perry somewhere out of the country right now. I don't mind what they're doing. I mind that people look at it and go, God damn it, he's right. He's not going to rest. He's not going to rest until he fucks another superstar. Like, what? Fucking people are on yachts, fucking celebrities. He never gets tired of standing up for the lbgtp. If he's never resting, how does he have time to date Katy Perry? He'll never retire. Well, and it's not tired of fucking Katy Perry. All right, what he should say. That's the next speech. Rant number four, Our fourth nominee for rant of the year. Democrats downplaying dudes. Please listen to me, everyone. I toured the sites of Altadena and the Palisades and Malibu. There's a whole bunch of people with dicks and balls who are fucking driving excavators and trucks and operating all the heavy equipment. All the fucking people you hate, all the people who didn't go to college, all the guys with the cocks and the balls, all the guys who don't give you their pronouns. That place has been completely rebuilt by just them. Nobody looks like you. Nobody uses pronouns. No, he, she's, none of your fucking freak shows, none of your Admiral Levine's. Nobody looks like that. It's just a bunch of fucking dudes who go by he and him bitch. So let's not run them out of society. The reason we shouldn't run those guys out of society is because every once in a while, shit's gonna burn, and then you need dudes to rebuild it. You understand? Not you fairies, dudes. Not your fucking pals. Real dudes, the dudes you don't like. Every once in a while, shit's gonna burn down and you need someone to come in there and clean up the mess and then rebuild it, or war's gonna break out or fucking bridge needs to be rebuilt. And guess who we need. Dudes, not your fucking LGBT community buddies, dudes, not your fucking black lives matter fat bitches. Dudes, you understand? So stop fucking waging a war on dudes with. Because every once in a while, you may need one. Because every once in a while, you may need to get shit done. Yeah, I always watch these rants and go, yeah, I got done something. Yeah, I would love to see that be a new NFL Sunday on Fox bit. Instead of doing the. You got Moss just, like, he went up in the end zone, came down with that ball. You know who did that? Dudes? Not your queer ass dairy coach dudes. Well, it is funny, too, because even the. Even the white guys that the Democrats have in places of power, they look like Scott Wiener. Yes, I waifmo that. That smiley guy from Rhode island, the mayor of Providence. Like, those are the guys they choose. Yeah, I know. And they don't. It's like, they're definitely not dudes. It's great. It's the same with Karen Bass. It's like, it's all great until you need a mayor who can do shit. And now we're fucked. Because that's not. They're not in the business of doing that. They're in the business of the process. And we're supposed to applaud the fact that we have this guy or this girl. They're black or color. The gay, whatever. But we do elect them to do shit, which is another weird sort of sad. I honestly, we're in some sort of era in place where we. And I see everything, like, through the eyes of my mom, which is. She would much rather have a black female mare who was inert and did nothing and totally ineffective than a white rich guy like Rick Caruso who could do everything. She'd go with her now. She wouldn't really. She wouldn't couch it that way. Like I would. The one. She just go, I like her better. Did your mom live to see Karen Bass elected mayor? I wonder if that was a great. I don't think so. She would have been happy. She did. It was funny. All she ever talked about was black people and how much she loved them. But when Larry Elder was running against Gavin Newsom, she was all in on Gavin. All of a sudden, they love rich, heterosexual white guys. Now all of a sudden, Chris Garola, who. You know, when I was seven, we watch Roots together, and she looked at me for every episode and just went, do you see what we do? Do you see who we are? First off, bitch, no one in our family owned any. We don't own a fucking futon, much less a human being. No, I'll guarantee you Carolla never owned a donkey. Forget about a black person. But anyway, I get it. They're the best, we're the worst. But now it comes time to vote for governor, and you're not voting for the black guy. You're voting for the skinny, rich, heterosexual dude with the good hair who's friends with the Gettys and is fucking a Barbie doll. Right? Sure. Okay, so that seems a little inconsistent, but okay. He's one of the good ones. Yeah, the ladies will do that when they're young, too. They'll take tall and unemployed over short and successful any day of the week, and then eventually they change their tune. But people who are in your position, like your mom, never change. They stay the course until the day they die. That's funny. Yeah. Rudy's talking to those girls. How about one out of two? Come on. I didn't say which one. No, my. You know, it's interesting. I realized that when you have that sort of mind virus, when you're. When you don't. So when you didn't use facts or statistics or common sense to arrive where you arrived, then you can't flush that out, so. Meaning if you walk around you sort of fact based, you know, and you go, I believe this based on the facts, you know, whatever could be Hunter Biden's laptop. January 6th, Covid. Anything, whatever, you go, okay, I'm facts based. I can believe it. Well, then when the other facts show up, you go, oh, now I don't believe this anymore because I got a new set of facts, right? But if you believe shit like a religion, like, you know, but it's not religion, it's global warming or climate change or whatever the fuck, whatever your. Whatever your nonsense is, you know, cops executing black people or whatever. If you just believe it like a religion, then it never gets washed out of you because it should have never been you didn't. You never use logic to get it in it. Just like nobody gives up religion on their deathbed or, you know, no one. You know, the thoughts they have. You know, like some grandma, her son got put in jail for murder, but she'll be laying there in her deathbed going, I know Johnny didn't do it. You know, but we have all the evidence, video cameras and stuff. But that. That's what she's so. Like, when my mom was like two years or something, three years before she died, she goes, she was always like a health food nut, but. Hippie health food nut, you know, and she goes, she was talking about breakfast or something like that. And I said, well, I'm gonna make some eggs. You Know, eggs and bacon or something like that. And she was like, whoa, I'm going the healthy route. I got the heart, healthy grains. She had a sack of granola. Granola is just tons of carbs mixed with tons of sweetener, you know, honey and molasses and shit. And she's like, heart, healthy grain, whole grain heart. And I'm like. And they Quaker, yeah, yeah, they can't be bad. This isn't good for you. You're better off eating an egg. But. And by the way, everyone knew the food pyramid had been exposed, but she took it all the way to the end because what got it into her head in the first place was a weird religious thing, but it was food. I mean, so she never, never figured out. But people do that. Well, a real time example, a real time example of facts, all of a sudden, not mattering is at the beginning, when they created the COVID vaccine, you have people like Kamala Harris saying, I don't trust it because it came from Donald Trump. And then fast forward three months later, you get this in your arm or you can't work. Right, right. And now, wait a minute, what happened? Yeah. Facts. All right, Interview of the Year, part two. Our second nominee for Interview of the Year, Darryl Hammond. Maybe too personal, but after putting five years together, what got you back on? After the putting the five together, my sponsor blew his brains out. Oh, that'll do it. Yeah. So you're. That's when I started dressing in black all the time. Oh, that stings, man. Yeah. And. And especially when. When it's done in a way so consciously done in a way that will wipe out everyone that cared about him. That will wipe us off the face of the map. That'll make it so that we're never gonna quite be the same. Yeah. Again, like in my. He. He had been outed for being gay. He was a wonderful defense attorney and was fired for being gay. For being gay. Yeah. Well, I mean, they didn't say it as much, but they caught him making out with a guy at a convention and they fired him. The way he did it was so theatrical. It was a.357 Magnum which really kind of removes your head. Was it somewhere or out in the forest? Here come the two worst parts of the whole story. I get a little. I get a call from his 11 year old daughter telling me our daddy died today. He committed suicide. 11 year old girl's voice on the answering machine, that flipped me out the hell out. But when we go to the funeral and they have the open casket and they have almost like a. It looks like an egg. That's gauze. They had an open casket for a guy. Well, there were. Family members could come in, and if they really wanted, they could see that. They could look at the body. Wow. Macabre. Yeah. Seeing the people that he wanted to ruin around me was, wow. He wanted to make it so they'll never feel good again. They won't ever really laugh all the way again. They won't ever laugh all the way again. Not after this. Jeez, I need a drink. Jesus, myself. Holy crap. And just when you think it can't get any worse, boom, Open the daughter, the little girl. Leaving the message, man. And I also feel like he. For a second there, he looked like he was about to cry. Yeah. Yeah, I was about to. All right, Moving on to our fifth installment of Rant of the Year. Our fifth nominee for Rant of the Year, sympathy for January 6th, cops versus ice. I saw hours of footage of all the capitol policemen on January 6 with the committee being brought up in front of the committee. And then they would film them, like, holding back the tears because of how fearful they were with the rioters and everything else. First thing I know this sounds horrible, but I'm always like, hey, man, if you can't handle some scrum, don't be a fucking cop. Like, you signed up, you trained, you got a helmet, you got some pepper sprays. I've coached those guys before. They always thank me because I give them good footwork. Yeah, that's your job. But I know there's a lot of things. Theater going on here with the January 6th Committee, and these people were traumatized. And then what you do is you count any suicide of a Capitol policeman as a murder that happened on January 6th as you're trying to pad your numbers, because there is no murders. Oh, yeah, one chick got shot in the face by one of your guys from six feet away. But that's the only number. That's the only fatality. So you got to try to pad it on. And they sit up there and they talk about how it's going to be years of therapy and. And about how they can't sleep at night, emotionally destroyed because of the push. Okay, a small percentage of them were in the actual scrum. The others were doing a guide of the rotunda for these people and opening doors. But, all right, they've all been horribly scarred. According to the Democrats, these guys have been scarred for life for having to clash with rioters. How come I never hear any sympathy for anyone? Who's getting spit in the face on at a BLM thing or getting pushed up or a cop getting a bucket of water dumped on his head or rock tossed at him in L. A? How come there's zero sympathy for that guy? Like, what is. You tell me the difference. You're a cop, you're. You're at. You're. You're in Washington, you're in the rotunda, and people are pushing the door and you're pushing back. Or you're in the middle of Hoover street in downtown LA and there's a guy pushing at you, calling you a pig and a Nazi and spinning on you. What, is there physically some difference between the trauma. So zero trauma for the guys being called Nazis repeatedly and spit in the face on, because that's out on the street and those guys are BLM or antifa, so who cares? But maximum trauma for the guy in the rotunda leading the tour? Okay, that's. That's such a consistent thought. Assholes. Again, facts. We love cops one day, we don't the next. Also, I realize I have a problem. Here's a problem with me. I have spent and spent so many years clashing with my friends physically. Like, I grew up with two of the most physical guys you'd ever want to meet. And they were big and they were both weird. Had, like, orangutan strengths, you know, and they had no governor. They had no, like, frontal cortex. They would choke anybody, attack anybody. They thought it was a great idea to drag me nude out into the street when the school was spilling out, you know, at three o'. Clock. And they fought like fucking apes to do it. And they were both crazy. Like, they're both the kind of. Here's what they both were. There were guys who didn't work out, who couldn't convince anybody. They didn't work out all the time. They just had fucking muscles and veins and they weren't even, like, high school husky. They were fucking shredded and over 200 pounds and over six foot two and wanted to fucking battle all the time. And I just fought those guys and fought those guys. So when I see footage of, like, Cassie getting thrown to the ground by P. Diddy or something, I always go, that's a two. You know? And everyone looks at me and goes, what? What, what, what? And then he goes, and he shoved her. He kicked her with his foot. It's like, yeah, he got her in the meaty part of the thigh. Like, that's a fucking. That's called. That's not even Tuesday. That's before noon on Tuesday for me. And like these guys pushing and shoving and yelling and shove. That's every single. That's all I did all fucking day. Like you fucking shake it off and go back in the house, you know, I mean, like I fought both of them naked in my dad's driveway. And they fucking went. They went as hard as they could go and we won American Gladiator on my fucking dad's driveway. And that's when I realized, like they talk about that strength a mother gets trying to kid her car up, the kid pinned under it. You have ultra strength when you're naked and school's let out and people are just walking down the street, all the girls and everything, and you're being dragged naked out in the street. I just fucking flared up my back, man. Now I was strong and I was big too, so I could do it, but I wasn't a specimen like them. But I fought those guys all day, every day, and that's all we ever did. So when I see the scrum, I'm always like. And also, you signed up to be a fucking cop. Don't fucking be so surprised. You got to push against somebody. But anyway, yes. Now we're into month number six of calling ICE officers Nazis and spitting on them and not a peep from the Jan6 committee. Zero. All right, rant of the year part six coming. Our sixth nominee for rant of the year tipping. 23 year old hot chick who's walking out with big handfuls of cash of over doing nothing all night in air conditioning. And by the way, you work in a field where. What the fuck? The bottle server. All right, it's a thousand bucks for a bottle of what? You know, vodka. Yeah, you're getting tipped based on just bringing a bottle out like. And also, what? What's the difference? There's jobs where nobody tips. Like, you know, you work at a, you work behind the Grill at a McDonald's. I work behind the grill. I never got a fucking tip. So you just some hot chick who walks around, drops off drinks, or there's a bottle of wine and the bottle of wine's 300 bucks. You're just getting tipped on that versus a bottle of wine, that's 18 bucks or 31 bucks. Same bottle, same cork, same thing, same whatever. Fuck you tip. Tip the. Tax the shit out of them, tax those tips while free. Fucking popular. Free fucking money. Why do you guys need more free money, by the way? If you're in an industry where you're being tipped, you're either serving booze or sucking dick. You're not doing anything, you understand? You don't have a skill. We don't need you. You're just bringing people shit. You don't have a skill. I don't care. You bringing people food, that's not a skill. You're making a drink or you're, you know, give it a rub and tug or whatever you're doing. It's not you're. You're in. If you're in a business that gets tips, you're probably hurting humanity. It's, it's all vice. It's all people being bad. Yeah. It's uneducated people with zero experience, no life skills. By the way, if you just said, look, tomorrow I got a magic wand. You go, we can get rid of. Well, I can get rid of a group. Okay, who are we gonna get rid of? Air traffic controllers. Oh, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Do not. Cops? Nope. Don't do it. Firemen? No. Loggers? Nope. Don't do that. Farmers? Nope. Don't. Surgeons? No. People who get tips. Yeah, we probably get rid of that. I don't see that. We would need that. Fucking 40 year old dudes with ponytails, the fucking high school education. Like we don't need. We don't need people to get tips. Yeah, and it can all be replaced the following day. Air traffic controller, surgeon, fireman, cannot be replaced later that day. Tip people that day. All of them. You're worthless. So true, man. I live in Las Vegas and my apartment complex is right down the street from the strip club, the Airstrip. Great name for a strip club, by the way. So a bunch of the gals live there. Two days ago they were all in the gym. There's like three or four of them. You know, they, I mean, they're basically wearing bikini bottoms and, you know, bras in there. And one of them is pushing the light switch up and down. And then it's during the day, so you can't really tell if the lights are flicking off and on. And one of them says, I think it's broken. It's not working. And now every guy in there is like, oh, is there anything I can do? What do you need? She goes, the drapes are not moved. They don't move up and down. And I was like, it's a light switch because. Yeah. And finally somebody goes, oh, because that. You have to manually. Every guy in there now getting a ladder, they're pulling all this shit down. I was like why are we catering to these women again? They're dumb as shit. But you're right, incredibly hot. On the other hand, he's spending a lot more time in the gym, which is great. So there was also a component that was in that rant. Possibly. I can't remember if I got shortened or I was talking about it, but it holds people down. Like rent control fucks people up. Meaning it's an unintended consequence. I knew a guy, lived in Santa Monica, had a fucking killer rent control apartment right on Ocean Boulevard. He's still there cause he, he's never gonna own a house. Cause he doesn't wanna move to the fucking San Fernando Valley where he could afford a house and own a house when he looks at the ocean. But it's a gilded cage because it's rent controlled and he's kept there. If he was paying fair market, he'd be paying five grand a month and he'd go buy a house. The tipping, I can't tell you like how many times you've been to like I went to Maui with like a family and the dude, this like 45 year old dude who's your fucking server, you know. But he lives in Maui, it's an upscale restaurant. He's walking out with 250 bucks cash. He's never going anywhere. He's never gonna have a profession or trade or skill. It keeps them in it. I had a girlfriend who was a stripper. I was like, you should stop being a stripper. She's like, I could be a receptionist and get paid 10 bucks an hour or I could go here and get fucking free drinks and come home with a big pile of cash. So it actually artificially keeps you in these no skill jobs way later in life because you get hooked on the cash. I will say this, so tax the shit out of people are getting tipped. But I am down with the no tax on overtime. Because when I used to work my first construction job, I got seven bucks an hour and they took taxes out. And it would be like seven times 40 or whatever. And I would walk out there with like 214 bucks worth of money if they took the fucking taxes out when you're poor, you know. But we would work overtime all the time, work 50, 60 hours and the 50, the difference between 40 hours and 60 hours was almost no pay increase because they nailed you on the taxes. So I could work 40 hours and get out of there with 230 bucks, or I could work 60 hours and get out of there with $261 or something. And it would always fucking drive me nuts that they taxed it. And we never got golden time or time and a half or anything either. So it was just fucking more money to the government that I didn't have. All right, Interview. The third installment of Best Interview. Our third nominee for Interview of the Year, Jake Steiner Bell. I'm seeing the houses. Okay. I'm going, okay. This is okay. I make the right turn. One house is good. Other house is good. We have a basketball court in our front yard that. That we bought this home. We didn't build this house in 1994. And when the kids would wait for the bus, we'd all play some basketball in the front yard. And the basketball hoop was melted. And you drive up and my daughter's sitting in the back seat. And I'm not gonna get emotional. It was insane to see your house. So houses around your house are okay? They're up opposite side, across the street. It's up. So literally, the neighbor in front of you is fine. Left side, right side, fine. Right, left in front. Those are your. They're three neighbors, all fine. And I'm. And I'm not. I'm gone. There's. There's. The only thing that's up is the front gate. And I remember standing up outside and looking, and my daughter coming behind me says, daddy, it's gonna be all right. And I called Tracy, my wife, in the car, who's down on the bottom of Chautauqua, and she goes, what's up? I go, it's gone. It's just gone. And it's such a surreal feeling, fellas. You know, we see movies, television shows, news, woolsey fires, right? Katrina. All these horrific things that happen. And you sit there with your family or your wife, and you go, wow, that's terrible. So what are we having for dinner, right? And you get on to your life, and now you're the guy. Well, you're the victim, or you're the person that it's they're talking about. And then you hear all this stuff about LA Strong and all, hey, this. And you're going, you're full of shit. By the way, I lived in LA my whole life. I still. I don't know what la. You're not allowed to just put strong in front of lazy people who don't have a house. Well, so. But I'm gonna say this after a few hours, what happened was something that I didn't think would happen to me. I like. It was a rejuvenation I felt light. I felt like this sense of energized. I'm an energized guy all the time anyway. But I went from like, what the fuck? To okay, you got a choice. You could roll up in a ball and die in a corner or you get up and you persevere. Body by Jake. Yeah. Tears by Jake. Man. Getting emotional there. All right, our last one for the first half is the Creative Arts Awards and we will go to break with this. Okay. And come back. At a private ceremony held last month, Technical and creative arts ace awards were handed out in the following categories. Best intro reminding Governor Newsom. Whoever. Delta smelt it. Delta. Delta. Adam. Corolla. Yeah. Get it on. Got it. You know what I love? I love the best part of my childhood. There wasn't a lot of good parts. It's the reply and then you. The reply to whoever smelt it dealt it was he who denies it, supplies it. Was that a part of like. We had a lot of fart related terminology. Had to win on some sort of fart technicality. Best AI Chatbot. Word on the street has you've been celibate for six years. Oh, honey, I wouldn't say celibate. Oh. Enjoying the company of myself. Oh. Oh, you have a vibrator. Smirks, maybe. But I'd much rather have the real thing, if you know what I'm saying. Oh, yeah, I get you. I see, I see. So, yeah, I mean, you've been not with a man, but it's not like you haven't been with yourself. Purrs. I've certainly kept myself entertained, Adam, but there's nothing quite like the feeling of skin on skin. Best interpreter. Trump must use an interpreter at some point. I don't think he uses a chick. No, because he wants to sound like him. Right. Half his speeches are him threatening and belittling. Yeah, you want some soft spoken woman doing that. Right, right, right. You want big husky voice. No, I think Trump should hire flame homosexuals, especially for the guy from France. Oh, thank you, Mr. President. You look really sweet today. Everything you do just makes me tingle. We totally understand your stance on NATO. We give you at least a verbal upper hand. A tonal upper hand. Don't you think? I like that. I like that. Best radio format. Drywall it back up. You might want to think about like in the bedroom and stuff. Go with quiet rock. They have a kind of a. I don't know, it sounds like a SiriusXM station, doesn't it? Now back to her Steely Dan Fest I'm Quiet Nina Blackwood, taking you into the 9 o' clock hour here on Quiet Rock. Gino vanelli in studio. Nine o' clock hour, quiet rock from 1981. Chino, I just wanna. And best live A.D. guys, Dr. Phil here. And when I get up during the day, it's only one drink of choice. Look, there's every different type of way to eat a Reese's. Look, I got an Adam Crawler butt plugin right now, but that doesn't mean that I lack it. I'm just supporting my friends and my new friend, Ja Rule. Can I call you Ja? Absolutely. All right, I'll take it from here. This is Ja Rules, Amber and Opal. Which is. Tastes good going in, tastes better coming out. That's what she said. Don't cancel me. And remember, if you're drinking this at home by yourself, shave your head, your back, your pussy and your crack. We'll be right back. We'll keep her out of here. Morgan and Morgan, everybody. Well, there's a reason Tom Brady's got seven rings. Just like there's a reason Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. Over 20 billion with a B recovered from more than 500,000 clients. That's not just a slogan. That's results people. In one Florida case, the insurance offered 350k client walked away with 12 million. They've been doing this for 35 years. Fighting for the people. Fighting for the people. Morgan and Morgan. America's largest injury law firm. For the people, not the powerful. Am I right, Dawson? If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com Adam or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone. That's f o r the people.com Adam or pound law, pound 529 from your Cell. This is a paid advertisement. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, you know the jingle. Now get to know the guys over at O'Reilly and gals at O'Reilly Auto Parts. You want to be the guy on the side of the road, stuck on the shoulder, looking like a dope. No, that's not going to be you this year. Friendly, helpful service people who actually know their stuff, not just some kid who'd rather be on his phone. Always used O'Reilly. I mean, I was always. I like the way that O'Reilly smells. I like going in there. Like the smell of car parts and vulcanized rubber and capitalism and turning wrenches. I like the way all that smells in there. Guys doing it for themselves. So whether you're a gearhead or you don't know a lug nut from a donut, they'll walk you through it. No attitude, just real help. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today, or you can visit us@o'reillyauto.com Adam that's O'Reillyauto.com Adam. Let's take a look back at some of the best musical moments on the Adam Carolla show in 2025. Tommy used to work on the decks. Union's been on strike. He's down on his luck. It's tough. Yeah, so tough. Dumpers. Gina works at diner all day Working for her man. She brings home her pay for love mmm, for love. Come on, sing it. She says we gotta hold on to what we've got it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not We've got each other and that's a lot for love we'll give it a shot. Whoa, we're halfway there Whoa Living on a prayer Take my, my hand will make it, I swear Living on a. All right, we got it. I know you can tell I'm excited. Oh, you can tell I'm excited. Yeah. That whole song's about him getting a boner. Teenage boner. Yeah. Now, girl, I know you felt it. Oh, you know I can't felt. You're making it hard for me. Oh, that's the next one, baby. You know I know you felt it. Yeah. I'm telling you later. He says, look, you're making it hard for me, baby. I wrote one about farting. I was like, baby, I know you smelled it. That's because I dealt it. I feel a little bit poke coming through on you. That's right. I'm so happy to share this with you guys. That is a. That is a boner song I heard Undercover angel on 70s at 7. Midnight Fantasy I never had a dream that made sweet love to me Undercover angel an answer to my prayer and I guess those songs about beating off. I said, I said, all right. She said, lovely, lovely, lovely. Undercover Angel Midnight Fantasy we got Kodiak's King, oh, My Gosh by Don Hodiak. Up in the land where the cold winds bite where the mountains rise It's a giant in the timber Wild and free A shadow on the shoreline watching me they say you ain't seen power Till you've stared one down and old on the nose it's bear on town up in the land where the cold Winds bite, oh, yeah. Where the mountains rise? In the day stretch night. There's a giant in the timber? He's wild and he's free. A shadow on the shoreline Just watching me. They say you ain't seen power until you stared one down? And old Don Hodiak knows this bear run town. Oh, my gosh. Cause Kodiak's the king of the northern wild? Where the grizzlies roam and the rivers smile? From the salmon runs to the midnight skies? That bear's got fire in his ancient eyes. You can talk Montana or them Yellowstone tracks. But the heart of the wild beats loud in Kodiak. Wow. That's Kodiak's king. That will be Don Kodiak's theme. I got the hash brown blues. Ted O. Tots in Boston, Hockey pucks in Austin. I got me singing. I'm singing them hash brown blue new potatoes. Get them out of here. Fingerling potatoes. I ain't no queer. Wow. Wow. You got a look on your face like you don't remember doing the hash brown blues. I don't, but I do remember flying to Florida last weekend and I was in first class and I. Or, you know, you can get for breakfast. They do the. You want the yogurt with the berries, or do you want the omelet with the potatoes and whatever you, you know, omelette with the potatoes. It was a cheese omelet with a type of cheese in it that I did not recognize. Weird white and fluffy and kind of seemed almost like ricotta cheese or something, like a non omelet cheese. And then on top, it had the melted, sort of spooned Velveeta type. And I took two bites. I was just like, I know I'm a broken record, but why not just make something somebody wants? And then the potatoes were the wedges, the brown. Never hash brown. It's never a hash brown. It's never what people want. And I took one bite and I was like, oh, it's so salty. It was like, really salty. And then my girlfriend said, yeah, they're over seasoned. And the point is, is both of us who love potatoes, and we just pushed it back. But I'm like, is there any process of testing or anything? Like, does anyone. Is there a kitchen, a culinary kitchen or something where someone. Chef. And you taste it, someone goes, it's way too fucking salty. And it's weird. And why not just do fucking scrambled eggs with cheese? And why not just do hash browns? I think everyone could agree on that. You have these weird potato wedges that are way too seasoned. They taste weird and too salty. I want it. I want to none. I've never turned away eggs and potatoes in my life. I turned them away because you. Because you fucked it up. Just. Just fucking. Just do cheddar cheese or whatever. Denver omelette or something. You're just do what's on the ground. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, it's like Fiesta Mix. It's like. Okay, they don't put Fiesta Mix in vending machines because no one would buy it. They buy Pringles and they buy Doritos and they buy Funyuns and they'd buy Ritz crackers or Wheat Thins or something. So if it's not on the ground, it should never be in the air. You understand? This isn't fucking prison. It's first class good rule. It's first fucking class. So if nobody makes the world's shittiest cheap, if this was any diner in America, if this was a Waffle House and you gave them this, they go, this fucking tastes like shit. And by the way, what happened to these fucking potatoes? Who fucked them up? If it's not on the ground and that's snacks too. Your weird little salty ass. Straight pretzels. The fucking weird stale pretzel thing, the thing you would never get from a vending machine, then don't fucking do it. I'll take a pack of peanut M and Ms. I'll take a thing of Doritos. That's ground food. That's now we're up there, we're captive and we're trapped, locked in and you're fucked. That's how it works. Well, they do test it at other companies and they go, these potatoes are shit. Don't you give it to first class in Delta because Corolla's going to Florida. By the way, I found a great diner in North Hollywood on Sherman Way. Oh, good. The hash browns are amazing. And definitely the potatoes are cut there. Homemade hash browns. Listen, just everyone, here's what I will grant people with hash browns and potatoes. There may be people, and I would label them, the criminally insane who enjoy the wedge cut or the cubes or the cottage or the new potato or the purple. There may be a handful of insane people who prefer that to hash browns, but nobody doesn't like hash browns, right? That guy says, I want potatoes. My breakfast. I prefer this hoity toity bullshit potato. But that per. That person still loves hash browns. If all low, if all roads lead to narcissism, blame the Chef who puts together the menu because he thinks he's better than hash browns. He or she. And it's the biggest round in the world, which is we're in first class. We're not at a Waffle House. Like, I would suck you off for anything on the Waffle House menu. Yeah. Note to self, bring Waffle House food on next flight. Yes. All right. Rant of the year number seven. Already here we are, Our seventh nominee for Rant of the year, Wildfire National Guard hypocrisy. So the National Guard has pulled in. And the National Guard has pulled in because there've been lots of stories about lots of looting because we live in Sodom, Gomorrah times here in Los Angeles. Like we are so bad that after we mismanaged the fires, then all the human beings that are criminals, that are running around the streets who are tired of doing street takeovers and tired of pulling copper wiring out of street lights now have mobilized and they're tired of looting the CVS and the drugstores and the Gucci stores, purse shop and everything else. They're bored. They've now taken to looting because people are being removed from their parking lots, or I should say being removed from their neighborhoods and transported places. And so the neighborhoods are empty and now the looters have moved in. So we've called the National Guard. And the fine people of Santa Monica and Malibu and the Palisades are very happy that the National Guard is now here protecting their homes and their valuables and their property and stopping arsonists who are copycat arsonists who are starting and trying to light more fires and being successful. So the people of Santa Monica, people of Palisades, people of Malibu are happy to see the National Guard. But when BLM was burning everything to the fucking ground in Seattle and in Chicago and in Portland, you pussies were against the National Guard being called in because it wasn't your shit that was on fire and it wasn't your store that was being looted, and it wasn't your house that was being looted. That was somebody else. So during the entire BLM riots when everything was being burped in the ground, well, those were just business owners who may have lived in the Portland area. So they can fuck off because you're too busy virtue signaling and taking a stand. And God forbid Trump suggests that the National Guard be called into these cities, you were dead set against it. Citizens of Santa Monica, cuz you're so much better than we are. But now they that it's your shit that's getting looted. Well, now you're happy to see the boys in uniforms that are cordoned off your neighborhood with your precious shit in it that you don't want to see stolen or burned to the ground. You didn't give a fuck when this was going on in every blue city in the United States. You were all against it. Well, now it's your city who. And you love it. So think about that. Hypocrites. Yeah, yeah. All right. I agree with me. Interview of the Year, fourth installment, Zachary Levi, our fourth nominee for Interview of the Year, Zachary Levi. I know these sorts of themes are important to you, and you've written books on them. And I don't know if you would say you struggle with mental illness or you think about mental illness or. It's a, you know, I guess it's a fine line between having a fascination with something and. Or struggling with. With that. But it's a. It's a subject that's important to you. Oh, yeah, no, listen, I have. Have very much struggled with mental illness throughout my life. I think that. I think one of the most important things we need to do, and we're doing a good job of it, I think, as a society to destigmatize mental illness and mental health at large is recognizing that mental illness, you know, for the longest time, and you know, this, like movies in the 70s and the 80s, even the 90s, if there was a character that went to a therapist, it was like, oh, they must be a little wacko, you know, oh, they're going to the shrink, you know, like, it was always a joke. It was never really something that was taken seriously. And I think that's in part because mental illness and mental health wasn't really understood all that well until, honestly, like the last 20, really, 10 years. And we're starting to understand that mental illness is like dental illness. Everybody gets a cavity here and there. Everybody's got something that they're working through, which is why with our mental illness, we need to mentally floss and mentally brush our brains and our hearts and, like, work through not just trauma from a long time ago, which a lot of us still carry around and aren't. Aren't realizing it, but even the everyday things that go on, handling your stress, handling your anxiety, handling your fear, handling your depression, your sadness. I mean, there's. There's all of these things. These are universal. There's not a single human on earth that is somehow, you know, incapable of suffering through some of that, even a little bit of that. And that's still mental illness. Mental illness goes from, you know, again, to make a physical comparison, anywhere from cancer to the common cold. Hopefully you're only dealing with some version of mental illness that's like the common cold. It's like a little thing. You're dealing with some anxiety. You can work through it, you're good. But some people have really deep mental illness, illness that is like a cancer in them. And they are no less valuable as human beings. They are no less loved by God. We've got to be able to hold all of that spectrum. And having gone through lots of different trauma throughout my life, things that I was unaware of, things that I needed a lot of healing from. I had a mental breakdown at 37. I didn't want to live and I didn't know why. And I was blessed enough to be able to go to this really wonderful place in Connecticut and I got three weeks of the most intensive life saving therapy. And it literally, it did save my life. And I learned in that moment as a 37 year old man that I had never loved myself like actually just or even liked myself that much. Wow, he's a thanker. Yeah, he's a deep and interesting guy who's also. He does great musical theater as well. All right, the interview of the year, fifth installment. Drake Bell, our fifth nominee for interview of the year, Drake Bell. My experience was not a good one. You were a survivor of molestation? I guess we'd say yes. Was that acting coach? Yes. And there was a dialogue coach that worked on the show, but it was really the 41 people showing up in support of this. Well, that's 41 letters that were written letters. There were way more people that showed up. And the letters, I mean, I'm not gonna put it on there. You got. They're so. Cause I didn't. Okay. I didn't know about the 41 letters when you just knew who was in the courtroom. I just knew who was in the courtroom. When they did the investigation for this documentary, they, the letters were sealed. So all of these people thought that these letters would never see the light of day. Huh. And they turn out to be some prominent people. Dude, they're all celebrities. They're all famous. Really? Yeah. Most famous person who. James Marsden. Really? Yeah. Works like crazy on. I mean, the guy never stops working. Go look at his Instagram. Go look at his Instagram messages, comments. So I'm surprised that he just went. I'm surprised he's working in Justin Baldoni's not. That's crazy, right? It's wild. So he worked with him when he was younger. Letter about how and what was so amazing, which I thought was just blew my mind, was in all of these letters. They were like, I never felt uncomfortable around him. He never made me feel uncomfortable. I've shared hotel rooms. I'm like, you're all adults, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like that's like, that's like me saying like I'm. I like, I like grown women and I get accused of something. But then my friend's like, well, I shared a hotel room with him and he never made me feel uncomfortable. Yeah, it's like, well, I know you're not, you're not really in his. Yeah, like, but they're all like, he never, I mean, grown women, like, I always felt comfortable around him because you're not. Not a 13 year old little boy. Wow. Heavy, man. All right, on to our eighth installment of rant of the year. Our eighth nominee for rant of the year, the Stephen Colbert audience loves Zoran Mamdani. Listen to Colbert's audience, but I'll tell you, it's. Everything's wrong because what Colbert does, who's a douche by the way, Colbert just goes, he just lays the person. First off, I don't care if they're gay or lesbian or black or white or the first this or the first that. I want competent fucking people running big cities, okay? But listen to Colbert. Listen to his audience. Yesterday, in a stunning upset, Democratic Socialist Zoran Mamdani won the Democratic mayoral primary. His audience loves it because they're fucking retards. As extraordinary. Mamdani. Mamdani is now on track to become the city's first South Asian mayor, first Muslim mayor and the youngest mayor in over a century. Youngest mayor. Youngest mayor, okay? That doesn't mean shit to anybody. That just means no experience. His fucking mom makes films. He's a fucking trust fund baby. He's never had a real job. He has no fucking real experience. I want an old dude who ran businesses. Yeah. Not oh, he's the youngest. He's the youngest commercial airline pilot in the sky. He's a 14 year old doogie. I don't want to get on that plane. I want fucking grizzled Vietnam vet who's pissed he can't smoke in the cockpit, that guy? He's the youngest, okay? He's Muslim. Oh, they never anything up. Those people's always right on the mark. Every country that's Muslim, majority Muslim run perfectly, perfectly. You need Muslim, you need lack of experience. What else is he? He's a socialist. Okay. This is gonna be awesome, man. We are. I've always wanted to write a book called I never knew adults would be this stupid. But that's where we are. Like we're living in a world with fucking dumb shit adults who think it's a good idea to vote for guys like this. Maybe it was only through the eyes of a nine year old Adam Carolla, but I looked at adults, and especially adult males. Is grown up, smart and mature and professional and good at what they did. I had no fucking idea they would be this fucking stupid and reckless and all their retarded ideas that they float about everything in society that they're wrong about. I had no idea because I had. I just knew. They wore Cardigan sweaters and Mr. Vindict's home from work. You know what I mean? He's smoking a cigar and watching tv, but he's not floating a bunch of ideas about boys being girls and girls being boys. They're like, nobody's illegal or whatever it is, whatever retard thing. I don't know what happened to adults. And maybe they were always fucking stupid. I just didn't know it. But they seemed pretty measured and they seemed like practical. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, I want to have candy for Brett. No, you can't have candy. You have to have something that's good for you. Like, it was a lot of that and now it's all. It's just gone. Sure. Right? Just fucking dumb shit adults with stupid ideas. Right. I bought my first house. Best piece of advice I ever got was go down to the Home Depot and get to know the oldest guy there because he's going to know everything. And then get to know the youngest guy there because that's the guy who's going to help you haul all that shit. Nice. And I was like, that was. It was. It was one of the best pieces. So anytime I go into those places, I'm walking down an aisle and I see that guy in that orange apron. I just walk right past the young guy. I would rather talk to somebody who's an older guy from the, you know, the, like the. In plumbing. Help me with, you know, woodworking. His name's Robert, but you can call him Bob. Bob. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. First name basis with these guys. There's only one flaw in this premise, but it's good. You come in Home Depot on Monday and like, where's Hank? And Hank, the old timer merchant marine. Yeah. Knows everything about plumbing fixtures, but you come back on Friday. And you're like, where's Hank? He died. Okay. Shit. God damn it. Left with the one dumb guy. Select quote Buying life insurance. It's basically hiring a bodyguard for your bank account after you're gone. Seriously. Life insurance is one of those things you want to get right. The right coverage, the right price, regardless where your health is at. That's where selectquote comes in. They've been in business for 40 years. Their job is simple. Find the right life insurance policy for you. They shop and you save. Got high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease. Select quote works with carriers that offer policies designed for people with pre existing conditions so you can still get the protection you need. This is one of those adult decisions that actually feels good once it's done. A select quote. Right, Dawson. Get the right life insurance for you for less and save more than 50%@SelectQuote.com Corolla save more than 50% on term life insurance@SelectQuote.com Corolla today to get started. That's SelectQuote.com Carolla Shopify. You want to stay on the couch through another year? Or is this the year you actually get after it? You got skills, you got ideas. Now's the time to start. My life grew when I stopped thinking about my ideas and actually put them out in the world. So don't let another February roll around without betting on yourself. With Shopify, this can be your year. You finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made the leap. Marketing's built in emails and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they're scrolling. As you grow, Shopify grows with you. More orders, new markets, all from the same dashboard. At some point, you either start or keep making excuses. Let's start with Shopify, right, Dawson? In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com corolla go to shopify.com corolla that's shopify.com corolla hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side. All right. Point. Best point awards. Prestigious. Let's do that. The nominees for outstanding achievement in On a point or story are. Mike Dawson. Oh, yeah, I got dots. Yes. First things first. Somebody decided in 1961 that you had to christen apartment buildings like there were boats. I don't know why. You don't have to name your house. You don't name your house. Dawson, what's your house? His name. No name. Get on it, bro. Cuz how do I know where I'm going? You know what I mean? Like you don't. Oh, yeah. Now, once in a while, actually, my house does have a name. Oh, I knew you'd say that, Dawson. Everyone knows you're just disagreeing with me. Your house doesn't have a name. No, it does. It's called the no hoasis, no HOAs. Yeah, ask any of my friends. And it's in the territory of Dos Angeles, California. Some expert point shooting right there, by the way. Go on, Alicia Kraus. Because there's lots of Hispanics here now. And now when you drive around, it's street vendor everything all the time. So then you go, are you indicting that? Or is. Are you judging their culture? Or is this some sort of pejorative or negative or something? And the answer is, it's street vendor culture. They do it. We formally didn't do it. But there's so many of them here now that now we do it. Yeah, it's infiltrated our culture. Right. And then I will go, I don't like it. And I will go, I do. Right. Except for. Not if you own the Toluca Lake flower store that was by Forest Lawn and you can't do business anymore because they're selling flowers all up and down Forest Salon Drive and undercutting you. But I. Then I would argue, no, just. Just make better flowers and maybe consider who your market is. And I'm. Write this down. Make better flowers. When Henry Ford created the automobile and all the carriage, guys were like, oh, no, he's making a horseless carriage. But you. What do you want to look at? Lake. To flourish. To make better flowers. Yeah. Make better, more affordable flowers. More affordable than 12 bucks for a full bouquet when you have a staff. And inshallah, I love to go to the flower market. I have not seen a dozen roses for 12 bucks in a long time. I'm just saying that I don't think so. You have an awesome podcast. You're one of the godfathers of podcasting. Hold on. Does it undercut you when other people create a podcast, or does it just create more rivalry and healthy competition? So if you owned a Mexican food restaurant, you'd be fine with people selling tacos in front of your Mexican food restaurant? I don't know. I'd be fine with it, but like you said earlier in the show, I'd have to get over it, be better at what I do. Make a better taco. Make a better taco. How? Well, at a cheaper taco. Not always. But just because it's cheaper, it doesn't mean it's better. But how would you have to deal with. With insurance. True. And employees. True. EEOC and health inspectors. Yeah. This is why we need Newsom and Mortgage Democrats out of the way so we don't have to. But how would you. But I just don't think floor. How is Toluca. Lake Flores gonna compete with the guys who don't have any. Lake Flores gonna compete with 1-800-Flowers or pro flowers or anybody else then? But they also have the pay taxes and have employees and insurance and stuff they have to deal with. No, in la, in the city of la, you have to actually have to have a license technically to be a street vendor. Okay, so you think all these people are licensed? I'm not saying that they are or not. I. Mike. Dawson. Dawson, I want to just on one of your points, a little bit, you kind of got started with France. But, Gus, in the uk, they eat butter sandwiches. I don't really think that England is a strong sandwich. I don't know. They have a Londoner, and a Londoner is like a marmalade, a ham, a cheese and like, fresh bread. That sounds delicious. I'm only going off my research, which says. Well, first off, you're. You. Look, we have baloney sandwiches. I don't like baloney sandwiches. I don't know who does. I love them. Bologna sandwiches. I know two guys that do. Of course you love baloney. Look, when's the last time you made a bologna sandwich? Within a month. You made a. You bought bologna, made a sandwich? Yeah, because I was like, if I ever go, nobody does this, Dawson, because I did it yesterday. Doesn't matter what it is. My mom and dad raised us to kind of take care of ourselves. And as soon as we were were able, physically able to make our own lunches, we had to do that. Well, we have baloney sandwiches, too. But I hate it. They. I never. I'm old now. Like, I want them. We baloney salami. Those are pretty much our go to's. So you still in modern times do a baloney sound. Still love it. David Freeberg. All right, you ready? Here's my list. Worst songs of all time. No, no Jefferson Starship on it. That's good. Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer. Oh, it's a horrible, horrible, horrible, simple. It's a boring simpleton song that should have never been played on the radio. It's shit. Robert Palmer sucks. Sorry. God rest his soul. But he's a hack. His music's horrible. David, Thoughts? You're welcome to them. You as a musician. You as a musician. When I said Robert Palmer, Addicted to Love, I could see you nodding. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I felt something. You know that, you know that's a song, right? Let the darkness take over you David. I, I'm, I'm not sure I, I, I remember enjoying that song. No, but you know music. That's the whole point. You have to hate bad songs, right, because of your knowledge of music. Look, I know comedy, so I really hate bad comedy because I know comedy. You must be that way with music, right? Maybe I just like the video. I don't know. Oh, the guitar girls. I'm here and I'm picking up with your. Maybe that's something. And Mike Dawson, Hound Dog was written by Jerry Leiber. Lieber and. Yeah. Mike Stoller. Yeah. Well, originally wrote the song for Big Mama Thornton. Sorry. They're the ones listed as the songwriters in bmi. Ascap for royalties. I kind of find it hard that I'm not gonna totally believe that Big Mama Thornton went into the studio and sang a song written by Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoler. Now, I bet it was her song. Yeah, she just didn't get the publishing credit. You could be. I mean, that happened a lot. Happened all the time. It happened a lot in the industry and then, like, studio artists, too, but I don't know why not. Why? I don't know either, but the music business was incredibly corrupt, especially towards black people in the beginning. Yeah, the, their songs, publishing credit, writing credit was really taken from them a lot. All right, well, we can look it up. I don't know if there's more information on. Maybe there's that version I'm talking with our version. I just don't, I understand that the, the Internet is going to tell you it's a song written by Jerry Lieber and Mike. Well, I think the problem is, is they got the credit. Well, then everything is on the tape labels. What I'm saying, for every song throughout history, we can go. The Internet says. But come on now. You know what I'm saying? All I'm saying is that just because the Internet says that Big Mama Thornton didn't write that, I, I would, I don't have any evidence. I know you don't. You're just disagreeing. But what I'm saying is I'm not just disagreeing. Well, it could have happened. That, that I don't think. Do you think, Jerry. I don't know, let's look up the words to Hound Dog and tell me if you really think a guy named Jerry Lieber wrote it. Well, I. I don't think that's a great argument. You can always tell you're losing an argument when you say all I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. You know, I was thinking about, you know, what people have to do this. Not. This is more for Alicia Krause than you, but remember we had that comedian in here once, and I was basically telling him, you should just be weighed before you get on the flight. Like, it shouldn't just be your bag, you know? Okay, if Your bag is £2 over the legal limit at £52, but you're a waif model, and then we got some husky dude with a lumberjack beard, and his is one pound under, but his combined weight with the bag and him is over 400 pounds, then your combined weight is under 170 pounds. Then isn't it just weight? Like, why are we weighing the bags? And then he was just a fucking asshole, and he was just disagreeing with me the entire time. And at some point, I never forget this. He goes, people are gonna game the system. And I go, how? How. How would you game this? I'd like to do it now with my merch bag. A game. Put. Put helium in there. And so, you know. And he goes, they'll figure out a way to game the system. And I go, how? And he goes, you get on the scale. You get on the scale. Your bag gets on the scale. How you're gonna game the system? He goes, you could be putting lead in your pockets. I go, no, that's the other way. He's like, well, it's like, here's all I'm saying. Here's number one. Just cut bait. Just cut bait, then fucking walk away from your. Alicia Krause just needed to walk away about 27 syllables into her retarded argument. Just walk away. Once you say make better flowers, you have to walk away at that point. Sure. This is the problem. And by the way, it's a women and gay thing, which is just. They got abandoned. Shit, man. They're gonna fucking leave a few good guys behind. That's it. Chicks will keep going with the. With this shit. Just leave it. Yeah, just done. Just drop a smug. Yeah, but still. And keep walking. Also, I didn't notice if you are watching this on YouTube or on substack that the baloney point shitting and the flower vending point shitting. Same episode, back to back point shitting. I didn't realize that. I'm so glad I wasn't in the studio. All right. Hopefully the judges took that into consideration. We have a winner, and it is the great Alicia Krause. All right. All right. I think so. Oh, yeah. I am just happy to wear the crown of the winner this year. And I appreciate the flower vendor lobby for, you know, really paying for all those billboards and for the nomination process and advocating for me to win this. And I just, you know, I promise to keep shit talking over Adam whenever I'm given the opportunity. Wow. You know, I would call it a fluke, but she had a great line. Make a better taco. I appreciate that. And I think I lost points in that one, because at the top, a lot of people don't know this, but when I'm engineering the show, I often eat burritos. And when you. I. I was ready to come right on at the top and say, yes, I named my house. But I had to finish the bite of the burrito that I just. And the other thing, I was wrong on the Big Mama Thornton to that cut me. But I also want to say that yesterday for lunch, I ate a bologna sandwich. I was disgusted by bologna when I was, like, 11. Yeah, I did it. But bologna, I filed under American cheese and sunny D. It's like, this isn't real. It's kind of real, but it's not real. I was weirdly. I wanted cheddar cheese and orange juice and turkey. By the way, lunch meat when I was a kid for the Corollas was considered fucking exotic shit. There'd be no smoked turkey breast somewhere. That would have been $4 or whatever. All right, moving on to our ninth installment of Rant of the Year. Our ninth nominee for Rant of the Year, the Malibu Fire. Unhoused. I will go on a little mini rant here for a second, which is these people of the Palisades of Malibu, of parts of Santa Monica. These people are all homeless. They're officially homeless. They fit the definition of homeless because they are unhoused. And I know you guys don't like to say junkies or mental nut jobs. You like to say homeless or the unhoused community. Our unhoused community. Okay, everyone in Malibu's unhoused now. And everyone in the Palisades is unhoused. The great Steve Guttenberg, who we'll be hearing from later, is unhoused. I am unhoused. And all Jay Z and Beyonce may be unhoused, along with Bill Simmons and everyone else in the Palisades and Santa Monica. We're all unhoused. Anyone sleeping on the sidewalk tonight? Anybody? Nobody. Nobody's sleeping outdoors tonight. But why? We're out. We're unhoused. We're unhoused. So of course we should be sleeping in a refrigerator box underneath the fucking overpass, but we're not. Why not? Cause it's not about the house, you fucking retards. I have a network. They don't have a network because they're junkies and they burnt every. They burnt every bridge in their life, that's why not. Because of the house. I can go to Dr. Brew's house and crash at his house and. Or I can go to Jimmy's house and crash at his house and. Or I can afford to check into a hotel room. I am unhoused, but I have a network. And I'm not mentally insane and I'm not a drug addict. Thus, none of the people who just got de housed are going to be unhoused. They're all sleeping in a bed tonight. It's not their bed. Could be a hotel, could be a friend, could be a family member, but they are going to sleep indoors tonight. Every single one of them. Every one of them. So you want to talk about unhoused housed housing problem? We got a problem with the shortage of housing. No, we don't. These are drug addicts who can't hold down a job and function in society. So there you go. It's not about the house. We're all the house. Everyone in Malibu has no house. Powerful points being made. Oh, a guy. Good. I'm glad he popped up here for our sixth installment of Interview of the Year, which was Paul Walter Hauser I found exquisitely interesting. Gotta have that guy back. Our sixth nominee for Interview of the Year, Paul Walter Hauser. I remember recently, in the last few years, getting sober, getting on sertraline, prioritizing sleep, and going to therapy, both personal and marital. And I said to myself, why do I feel so good? Because you weren't a freaking mess like you used to be. You were actually taking control of your life in some regard. So you got sober from. Because of marijuana? I got sober because of alcohol, marijuana, and pornography. I just decided all three were toxic to me being the best version of myself and getting rid of that while entering therapy and getting on Soloft. It's like it changed my entire chemical system. I kind of underwent three to nine months of just like undoing decades of shit. It was crazy. Is your candor and honesty part of this? Because you seem very part of the transition into a different person. I was always over. Very willing to share. Yeah, yeah. I'm happy with. I, I. There's so many people not telling the truth in the world that I prefer to tell the truth all the time and then face whatever mild consequence, you know, seeing Steeler. That guy. Yeah. So good in everything, man. And we had no idea how interesting he was. And all of us were just glued to our headphones during that interview. He was great. Yeah. Another guy glad to speak to as well. Interview number seven, the great Charlie Sheen. Our seventh and final nominee for Interview of the Year, Charlie Sheen. I had a Porsche in 1987, and I used to live at County Line. You know where that is? Sure. Neptune's Nest, right? Yeah. Yeah. And there was one night I hadn't had a drink and there was nobody on the road. It was about 3:00am it was a, it was a, it was a, a hardtop. 911s, I think it was. Right. Yeah. Beautiful car. And I wanted to see what the damn thing could do. And stupidly, I got it up to about 161. Wow. Yeah. I went for it and these. The broken yellow line turned solid. Yeah. Yeah. And that's when I, and I, I needed like five miles to slow down, right. Because I just started, you know, I didn't want to jam on the brakes, but the road was so smooth and, and just, it was just, Just a perfect moon. And I, I passed a cop like, you know, probably between, you know, 110 and 130. So he takes a long time to get to me, right? And he pulls me over and Platoon had come out. But, but that was, But I, you know, I didn't have the kind of recognition yet that, that made its way into, you know. Yeah. Or, you know, getting new cars, like those moments, Right. And he says, what, you know, what's going on? And I, and I, I didn't have a cover story. And I said, you know, just got this empty road, nothing to drink. I just really wanted to see if, you know, what, what the car could do. And the guy takes a beat and he says, well, you may want to slow down before you. You ruin a perfectly good piece of machinery. Yeah. It wasn't about me, man. Love talking to that guy. You know, before we announce the winner for Interview of the Year, it should be said that interviewing itself is a great skill. Sure. And we have learned so much about these guests, partly a lot, due to the fact that you've been doing this for a Long time. You know how to interview people. Interviewing is a skill and you should get tipped for it. And you should not have to pay taxes on those tips. Interviewing is a 10,000 hour thing, and it's probably the definition of that example of 10,000 hours is probably best used in interviewing because it's totally invisible. Like, there's no certification or plaque on the wall or pilot's license or you pass the interviewing bar in California or anything. Dudes in school of interviewing school, I should know. I'm Debbie Dudson. So it's weird, it's invisible. But I can tell you you're not good at it naturally, no matter how smart you are. Articulate, funny, interesting, whatever. And I wasn't good at it when I began, and I don't even know when I got good at it. But I would say the helpful tips on the interviewing is listen and be present when they're doing it. And don't be reloading your next question in the middle of what they're saying, because you're missing what they're saying and you're loading up your next question, you know? And also be like a good center fielder before the ball comes off the bat. Just be in a neutral position, but don't be charging forward or running backward or right or left. Just be neutral, but be on the balls of your feet and be kind of poised. And we're going to find out where this thing is goes. But there's also the number one thing I think for being better at interviewing is just relaxation. Like the number one skill that all the good interviewers have is relaxing and going, we've been here and done that. And not getting beaked up like Charlie Sheen. I wish I watched this guy in the movie. I love Red Dawn. I'm so pumped up. Becomes an SNL sketch. But it really is like stand up. But even more so than stand up or radio or being a commercial airline pilot. Repetition, man. Because it's tough sledding at the beginning. Yeah. And it's also a shitty thing that if you do, if you're a good interviewer, people don't really notice it. But if you're bad, they notice it immediately. Yes. Yeah. I always told people, it's like being a mover. All you can do is ding an end table and the fucking chick. You move into a mansion. 10,000 square feet. Chico is a disaster. Look at the end table. But no one ever goes, who put that sofa there? Right. Like, that's excellent. Same thing as being a sound guy. You don't know what I do until I do it wrong. That's right. Yeah. It's also the choice of words. Like, I don't know if you noticed during that Dreg Bell interview that you were doing, but at the beginning you said so you were, and you could tell you were going to go say a word that maybe he would have been a little freaked out by and then said survivor of and then obviously it relaxed him a little bit and they let him open up. Yeah. Once again, our interviews of the year were Billy Bush, Darrell Hammond, Jake Steinfeld, Zachary Levi, Drake Bell, Paul Walter Hauser, and Charlie Sheen. Who is going to win? And the winner is. Paul Walter Hauser. I didn't know what to expect before I talked to that guy, but I was blown away. What a cool dude. Congratulations, Paul. All right. Simply safe. Hmm. Yeah. I hit that point where I realized my security system was basically just a deadbolt and wishful thinking. And if that's where you're at, might I suggest Simplisafe? It's proactive. Traditional systems react after a break in Simplisafe can help stop a crime before it starts. Simplisafe keeps your home safe with a double layer of defense. First, AI cameras detect potential threats, and then live agents confront them while they're still outside of your home. That's why I trust Simplisafe with my place, protecting the studio gear, the front door, the driveway, all the stuff I actually care about. So real security stops crime before it starts. Am I right, Dawson? Right now is such a good time to get Simplisafe. This month only get 50% off any new system. Go to SimpliSafe.com Adam Again, SimpliSafe.com Adam there's no safe like Simplisafe. Street. Pluto TV string Pluto TV string Pluto TV for free. String stream blockbuster hits like 21 Jump Street Ted, the Expendables, and so much more on Pluto TV stream now. May never. Now we go to guest of the year. Yes. Okay. Guest of the year. There we go. Now we got. The nominees for guest of the year are. Dustin Ibarra, although this is a good movie idea, Sky Rider, Skyrider the Rock is a guy. Okay. He was a blue Angel. He was a highly decorated blue angel. But a blue angel. Did they do like. Blue angels didn't bomb people, right? No. They were the stunt flying team for the Navy, right? Yeah. So he was a blue angel. And there was a controversy like he had his wingman got too close to him, so he did an experimental acrobatic move to save the guy. And it worked. But he got drummed out of the Blue Angels. And now they do that thing they do in all those good movies. The guy was the best. Riding high. And next thing you know, they cut to and he's working at this crappy sky riding place. Yeah. And they're out in Simi Valley. And he's like, get back in the plane. He's shaking his head. You know, that's a biplane, goes almost 100 miles an hour. You're thinking, Hanley's like, I flew F16. All right, what do we got here? You know? And he's out. That's the story, right? That's the base. Yeah, that's the base. And then there's his daughter. How's. There's always a daughter. Lost the daughter during the divorce. And she's like, think he's a loser. And it was great. And there's pictures like, he comes home at night after the sky riding thing, cracks a beer, and he looks at the picture of him in the full uniform when the daughter was nine in front of the F18, you know, and she's smiling and he's smiling. And you just see him. Look at him now. She hates him now. Takes another draw off his fear, you know? Definitely. Mixed race, child. Mixed race. Will, they'll be like, love the mixed race. Exactly. So you got to. And then whatever. The climax is his final thing, where it's like, you can't do that. You can't write. We're not there yet. I got a good one. Okay. Okay. So he's at the place. He's looking at his daughter. He's a big drunk. Well, he's not a. He's not a big drunk. He's. Well, he's the rock. Snort's a little meth. Okay. He doesn't freeze. Okay. A little booger sugar. Jay Leno. So then the interviewer says, how did you and Johnny handle politics? Well, we made fun of both sides. You know, we. We never picked a side. Nobody could figure out a politics. That's all I said. Okay. About three weeks later, Colbert gets fired. And the headline is, Leno lashes out at Colbert. Right. I did. Leno says, you're supposed to make fun of. No, I didn't pick. And then I got every comic calling me names and saying, why did you say I didn't say. They always do that in the press. I don't know why. It's Lucy with the football. It gets moved every time. Why do we take a run at it? You know, it's gonna Happen. And it does, it bothers me when comedians sort of jump on other comedians. Yeah, I don't, I don't like, like that cuz I, I never mention another comedian disparaging way. I just don't, I just ignore it. When all the guys were attacking me and Stern El I just said, yeah, I just let it go. It's fine, it's fine. You know my, my attitude in show business, don't believe the good stuff or the bad stuff. Hey, you suck. Okay, well thanks, thanks for your opinion. Hey, you're the greatest. Oh, thank you, thank you. I, you know, obviously I like the good a little bit better but for the most part I, I don't dwell on it because it's just what it is. Pete Berg. When I was in high school, we had payphones, right? And I went to a boarding school, I lived at the school and I came up with this genius idea that I was going to rip the payphone off the wall and throw it out the window of the five story tower at my school. And then when the payphone broke, I'd run down and get all the money. So I was going to get rich, right? Had this whole idea. So me and my friend Carlos Salgado. Carlos. Yep. You did this. We ripped the pay phone off the wall and we dragged it up to the top of the tower and we were about to throw it out the window, but then we realized the coins would, you know, just dissipate and go everywhere. So I ran that in my room and I got my laundry bag and I put the phone in the laundry bag because that way we'd catch the coin. Sure. We threw it out the window and five stories dead on and it hit the concrete and it literally sounded like a bomb went off just the more just this deafening sound. The phone bounced 8ft in the air, landed again loud, didn't break, just everybody put their heads on to everybody. We ran away, right? An hour later I get a call to go see the principal. I go into his office, there's the phone all banged up on his floor. My laundry bag and my name tag from the laundry bag that he cut out. And I'm like. And he's like, you're so stupid. Jay Moore. My SNL audition. I did De Niro and Pesci doing Raging Bull. But if they were Batman and Robin, really. When do you stop eating, you fat bat fuck? Your belly's hanging over the bat belt. You broke the fucking bat pole. She really did a Catwoman. Did a fucking number on you. Look at you. That's funny. Yeah, that is good. Good times. And crazy. Greg Fitzsimmons. So I go to Alaska last weekend. Oh, I love Alaska. Two weekends ago. Yeah. And I'm doing this club in Fairbanks, and I say to the guy that runs the club, I said, I want to do something kind of outdoorsy. I mean, I'm in Alaska. Let me do something. So he calls me back and he goes, there's this guy. I'm forgetting his first name, but his last name. I won't. I shouldn't even. I'm not going to say his last name. So he goes, he's got an outdoors company, snowmobiles and ATVs. And he's a fan of yours, and he's really excited to take you out. I said, amazing. But then I'm also a little bit nervous because, you know, I grew up in New York and I've been here for 25 years. I'm soft. I'm not an outdoorsy guy. And these Alaska guys, you know, I. I'm just picturing this is like a guy who's. I'm going to be cold by the end of the day and something's going to hurt. So he picks me up and he's got a monster truck. The wheels are at the. As tall as I am, and he's towing this dune buggy covered in mud. And I'm like, oh, here we go. I get in the truck and we start driving. It turns out he's just the nicest guy. He's older than me, he's retired. And so I was like, all right, we're gonna have a nice day. Alarm siren goes off behind us. We're getting pulled over by the cops. And he goes, he goes, this is bad. This is bad. I go, I don't think you did anything wrong. And he goes, this is bad. So cop starts walking towards the car and he. I'm not making a word of this. Up. He hands me a baggie with white powder in it. And part of it spills on my leg. And he goes, get rid of this. So I stick it in the backseat under the seat. Cop walks up, he goes, license and registration. And the guy goes, grab my registration out of the glove box. So I open the glove box and another baggie with pills and a hundred dollar bills starts to pop out. Wow. And I shove it back in with the back of my hand. I cover it with a piece of. Of paper. And the cop goes, what are you hiding? I saw. Oh, great. Now I'm an accomplice. Yeah. And so I hand him the bag of drugs, and he tells us to put our hands on the dashboard. Wow. And so he says to the guy, he's gonna run this guy's license. He runs it. We got our hands on the dashboard. He comes back, he goes, sir, do you realize there's an outstanding felony warrant? And he goes, yeah. And then the cop goes, are there any firearms in the car? And I'm thinking, naturally, I'm sure got a grenade launcher and a bazooka. So he goes, no, I don't have one. So he takes him out of the car, and he handcuffs him, and he brings him back to the. I'm sitting there going, like, I got a fucking show tonight, you know? Wow. And so the cop walks back and he goes, I'm not coming closer to you because that's Fentanyl on you. Oh, wow. Ask me for my license, I give it to him, and I go, dude. I go, I'm a comedian. I go, I just met this guy 20 minutes ago. I have no idea. And he goes. He goes, I'm not buying it. He's like, you're from California. That's a drug feeder. State was the feeder. And then he goes. And I don't believe you're a comedian. You're not funny. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't on. Yeah, you know, I know. So he goes. He goes, all right, well, are you feeling any effect from the. I go, yeah. I said, I'm extremely light headed. I feel very off. So he goes, well, I have one of those pens, the Narcan, back in the car. So he goes, get out of the car. Just walk carefully. So I start walking, and we go back to the police car, and he opens up the back door, and the guy who is driving me gets out, and then they both look at me and they go, we're coming to your show tonight. And they started laughing. Oh, my God. And I fell on the ground on all fours out of relief, and I couldn't stop laughing. What a story. Wow, man. Ooh. Oh. See? All right. Oh, I got the winner. Okay. It's Fitz Dog, everybody. Fitz Dog. Fitz. Nice. Deserve it. Couldn't happen to a better guy. Yeah. Oh, we got an acceptance speech here. Yeah. There we go. Hey, Adam and the whole crew over at the acs, it's Greg Fitzsimmons. I'm beyond thrilled to have won guest of the year on the show. It's some stiff competition. It really means a lot to me. The show means a lot to me to sit There next to a man who, with nasal congestion, has become one of the top broadcasters in history. One of the most generous. I hope everybody on the staff is enjoying their bonus this year of not Taco Bell material again and the opportunity to work for luck. It's not a lot of money. He's not paying you a lot of money, but it's a stepping stone. It's a diving board into an industry that doesn't exist anymore. So you got that. Mainly, I want to thank the fans that have been so supportive of you guys. Of me. When I go on the road, I get to meet you. Everybody always says, send my love to Adam and the crew. So from everybody from the producers and the bookers to the PAs, to the editors, everybody over there does an amazing job. Thanks for having me again and again and have a happy new year. That's my driver. He's a big fan. It's great you guys got bonuses. Sons of. All right, last. The rant of the year. Number. Number 10. Okay. Rant of the year. Our 10th and final nominee for rant of the year, PPP Loan Shane. And the tweet reads, I have a thought. How about everyone take care of themselves and their families and not rely on the government? That's all been saying it my whole life. I. I don't think the government does a great job of taking care of people. I. I ate the government food when I was in junior high and grade school. Part of the free lunch program. Oh, yeah, it was slop. It was prison food. And saw my mom trying to get by on welfare and food stamps and not, Not a great life, just the minimum. So I'm suggesting that people take care of their own shit. And that would include their family. I didn't do anything. I just said, take care of yourself, Take care of your family. Don't rely on the government. And everyone went fucking batshit crazy. And my whole new world order is I don't have any reverse gear for shit. I'm right about you. People can all suck my medium sized cock. You want me to. You want me to what? Walk away from the a normal comment. So here's the deal. During COVID they handed. They shut my business down. During COVID the government, your beloved government, shut my business down for no fucking reason. But they did it anyway. Okay? Then I had my business shut down and I still had many employees. Not just the podcast, but the moviemaking and others. I probably had 20 employees. I felt responsible for those employees. So I kept paying every employee. No employee missed a paycheck. During COVID we moved around, we did remote, we came back, we did some hybrid thing. We did everything we could do, but nobody missed a paycheck. Then at some point, I don't know when, but after we were into Covid, my money manager, who does all the. Pays all the taxes and does all the stuff, told me, I think we're eligible for one of these PPE loans because you have a small business and they shut you down. And I said to him, fine, do whatever you can do. And then somebody tweeted that I took this money and I never paid it back, and it was $300,000, even though it wasn't $300,000. And then I wrote a the guy back and I just said it was $300,000. I paid 300,000 quarterly in taxes, so fuck off. And then he was like, you don't think you should be. You're taking money from the government. And I just said, hey, bitch, how much you spend in taxes? And then everyone goes, it doesn't matter how much you spend in tax. It doesn't matter. Why doesn't it matter if you pay the government? One guy said to me, I just kept saying to him, tell me what you pay in taxes or shut the fuck up, pussy. And he goes, I paid 12,000. I said, I paid that this weekend. So you got a long way to go, bro. You got a long way to go before you catch up to me. And then I said, don't you care about the kids? You should pay more. Here's the deal. If you pay the government $2 million and they give you 3, 300,000, then they're still up 1.7. But if you pay them 12 grand and they give you 300 grand, well, then they're down $288,000. That's the way I look at my whole thing is I pay a shitload in taxes right off. When you're trying to guilt me, by the way, you don't pay a shitload in taxes. So what? What are you coming after me for, bitch? And I'll tell you why. You're ashamed because you're not successful. So fuck off. Yeah, yeah. We got ourselves into trouble as a society because rich people started shopping at Old Navy and going, no, no, no, no. I know. I'm with you guys. They go, instead of going, I fucking work every weekend. I bust my ass. I've trained my ass off, so shut up. Go find a mirror. Instead, they decided to try to make friends with all the fucking poor people that were living in Some sort of shame. Boolean base. And that's what happened. I said into a microphone my entire broadcasting career. I'm literally a millionaire. I used to say it on Loveline in 1998. I never tried to distance myself from success. Everyone, every politician, every, you know, Gavin Newsom, shucks, single mom. Yeah, yeah, we grew up, you know, we didn't have, you know, every celebrity, every politician, every celebrity does, aw, shucks. No one goes, I fucking work hard. My dad worked real hard too, and yeah, he was successful. And thus I got a lot of good shit because he busted his fucking hump. And maybe you should drink a little less and put in a few more weekends. Nobody says that. Yeah, they just go, these are hard work and salt. I fucking lived with the hard workers. The fucking hard workers are faking disability for back pains and fucking doing way, by the way, always smoking, drinking, doing drugs, like all that shit you don't want people to do. They always do about 10 times as much of that shit as the people that are fucking working weekends. All right, so own it. All right, we have the rant of the year. What does it see? It's tipping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that one is ran to the air because I don't think anyone's ever thought of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not something I've ever heard. The other stuff, you go, you could think that, Yeah, I hear people complain about it, but not in the fashion that you have talked about it. You know, some comics will do a bit on it, but they basically talk about turning the square around. Oh, you expect me to pay. Blah, blah, blah. You know, I got to pay 30% because I bought a cup of coffee. But you went in on somebody that nobody gets taken, that nobody gets shit for. And that is the good looking gal who does the bottle service at the, at the club. That gal never takes any heat. So I'm glad that you brought it on. One observation I've made during these rants is you've mellowed over the years a little bit. You've not. But you've not lost your wit. You're not one bit less sharp, but. But I think you've found you found a way to just kind of accept and not scream so much. But they're still glorious rants. I think you're. I think you've settled down just a little bit over the years. With the age comes the wisdom and. Yeah, and the prostate. I feel like you still got it, ace. I hate to tell. I feel a thousand percent like you still got your fastball. He's saying in his own point shitting way. He's just saying less yelling and more to the point. Sure, yeah. Which I agree, because anyone can yell. Yeah. All right, let's see. Who do we need to thank for this? Dawson? Because there's lots of people. Well, of course I'd like to thank Rudy Povich, the staff inside here, Andrew, Chuck, Joey, Daphne. All of that is in the credits as well. But one person I would really like to thank is Mr. Mike Lynch. Yeah. 20 years ago, it was 2006. KLSX were getting ready for our winter break. And me being a radio person, I say to Lynch, I'm like, we gotta. We're not doing our job if there's not some kind of best of. And we got off the air at 10:00am and for the next 616 hours, me and Mike spent 16 hours in the studio. Wow. Creating the very first ACE Awards. And after that show was done, lynch said to me, said something to me that I will never forget. And I tell people this often. I tell lynch, hey, great job, man. We did it. Fantastic. And lynch looks at me and he says, just remember, today's miracle is tomorrow's expectation. Yeah. Yeah. 20 years later, it's been a pleasure doing this with Mike lynch every single year. I think my parents coined that phrase. You drive to the airport once, they're gonna want to go again. All right, great job to everyone. I'm gonna be in Colorado in January 8th through the 11th, and I'll be all over the place. So I'll be at the Rialto Theater and I'll be at Colorado Springs at Loonies. And I'll be at Greenwich Village, Colorado. What? Comedy works? What? Yeah, yeah. Just go to mcroll.com for all the live shows. Rudy. Yeah, I'll be on all those Colorado dates with you. And then also if this is going to come out on Tuesday the 24th. So if you're going to be in Las Vegas, I'll be at Brad Garrett's Comedy Club the 26th, the 29th. And then check me out January 16th at the red carpet in St. Cloud, Minnesota. I will be at the Comedy Chateau in North Hollywood on New Year's Eve. There you go. Join me out there. So until next time, Samford Dawson and Rudy saying mahalo. The 2025 ACE Awards were produced by Mike lynch and Mike Dawson, co produced by Rudy Povich, Daphne Hinton, Chuck Friedman, Joey Perez and Andrew Hobson. Special thanks to the 2025 news team, Jason Mayhem Miller, Elisha Krause, Rudy Pavich and Mike Dawson. The ACE Awards were produced using Adobe Audition and Avid Pro Tools. Music and score provided by Extreme Music. All audio spoken into rode microphones Travel to the ACE Awards was provided by an undercharged evidence piloted by Mike August. Hotel accommodations by that place Adam stayed in Burbank when the mayor let Malibu burn to the ground catering by Dr. Drew's sandwich. Mom, tell a friend about the ACE Awards and get them listening in 2026. It's insane. I blame everybody but me. The ACE Awards of course, right? Pluto TV is free with all the best. Stream blockbuster hits like 2021 Jump Street Ted the Expendables and so much more on Pluto TV stream now pay never. The holidays are brutal so if you're feeling frugal string Pluto TV string Pluto TV string Pluto TV for free stream blockbuster hits like 21 Jump Street Ted the Expendables and so much more on Pluto TV stream now pay never.