The Invention of TIMMY NO BRAKES ft. Tim Stiefler + President Trump Endorses Spencer Pratt?!

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show

“The Invention of TIMMY NO BRAKES” ft. Tim Stiefler + President Trump Endorses Spencer Pratt?!

Date: May 21, 2026
Host: Adam Carolla
Guests: Tim Stiefler (aka Timmy No Breaks), Rudy Pavich, Alicia Krause

---

Episode Overview

This episode centers around the birth, style, and impact of the character "Timmy No Breaks" created by comedian Tim Stiefler, rich discussion on the evolution of comedic persona in stand-up and improv, and signature Carolla-style banter about LA, comedy culture, and current events. Alicia Krause joins for a news segment that touches on Trump’s quasi-endorsement of Spencer Pratt, homelessness in California, and political issues surrounding Los Angeles. The tone is candid, irreverent, and sharply observational.

---

1. Creation and Evolution of “Timmy No Breaks”

[02:46 - 06:41] Key Segment

Origin Story

• Tim Stiefler developed "Timmy No Breaks" about six months before appearing on Kill Tony, inspired by riffing at an open mic. The character is a parody of a bad comedian, deliberately delivering non-punchlines and then yelling at the audience for “not getting it.”

Quote:

"It wasn't even meant to be, like, a dice thing. It was just a bad comedian who would say a punchline that isn't a punchline and then just yell at everybody for not getting it. And that was the whole thing."
— Timmy No Breaks [02:56]

• His big closer, “bitch, I got bills to pay,” would land flat, leading to deliberate onstage implosions.
• When he did it on Kill Tony, the minute “bombed” but the post-set interview made the character go viral:

“It takes, sometimes it takes, like, a couple minutes for people to get it. [...] sometimes people get in there like, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen.”
— Timmy No Breaks [03:58]

• Adam and Timmi discuss how certain characters can or can’t be “held” throughout interviews or entire shows. Adam reminisces about doing his Mr. Burcham character on Loveline for hours as a guest.

On Characters in Comedy

• Timmy: “I have done like a three hour podcast as Timmy No Breaks... but it’s all bullshit. It’s riffing and yes-anding. Improv shit.” [05:51–06:09]
• Adam: “It’s interesting when you do a character. Some people try to stick with it... but not everyone can pull it off for two hours. You gotta slide in and out.” [03:58–04:34]

---

2. Adam Carolla’s “Mr. Burcham” & The Radio Comedy Persona

[07:33 - 16:18] Key Segment

Mr. Burcham’s Origin

• Adam recalls developing Mr. Burcham, a surly shop teacher calling into KROQ to yell at absent students, as his way into radio, after Jimmy Kimmel insisted he needed a character.
• Adam’s authenticity came from drawing on real carpentry knowledge and childhood shop teachers.

Quote:

“I was like, what if you were a pissed off shop teacher and you fucking hated kids? ... And then I figured it out [...] I’m gonna scream at all the kids through their radio.”
— Adam Carolla [10:16–12:30]

• Memorable Moments: Adam’s tales of elaborate excuses why Mr. Burcham couldn’t make it into work, all involving bizarre injuries or misadventures, becoming a sensation on radio.

Comparing Character Creation

• Timmy shares his struggle to create new personas, Adam admits he “just rolled with Birch,” saying, “You can just be funny.” [16:21–16:25]

---

3. Comedy, Improv, and the LA Scene

[22:26 - 38:10] Key Segment

Improv Backgrounds

• Timmy trained at UCB, Groundlings, Magnet Theatre, and Second City, often penalized because he “wouldn’t play the straight man.”
• Adam and Timmy agree the Groundlings were the most “intense and mean”—but necessary for growth.
  • Adam: “Cynthia Sagetti was a fat, mean bitch. She would fucking scream at me all the time... but you got good, and then you were able to work out Mr. Burcham.” [23:21–24:50]
• Timmy: “That was the problem with improv, was they. It just became so supportive and sensitive and stuff” [25:10]

On Stand-up, Crowd Work, and Artistic Tension

• Both talk about the discomfort of repeating material due to improv backgrounds; it feels “the opposite of comedy” at first.
• Adam: “You have to work on the joke and hone the joke and then do the joke and then do it again... and that’s what this art form is.” [31:30–32:09]
• Timmy: “That's the one thing I don’t like about standup. I don’t like doing the same thing every time... so I always try to have, like, improv in there.” [29:49]

---

4. A Close Look at "Timmy No Breaks" on Kill Tony

[26:43 - 29:20] Key Segment

The Viral Kill Tony Set

• The crew listens to the original “Timmy No Breaks” performance on Kill Tony: intentionally awkward anti-jokes, breaking fourth wall, and crowd confusion.

Quote:

“You guys ever have a punchline? [...] Don't worry, you're gonna love this one.”
— Timmy No Breaks [27:14, 27:31]

• Post-set interview revealed the meta nature of his act, propelling social media interest.

Discussion on Meta-Comedy

• Adam: “It needs emulsification... you have to come on to what the gag is and understand it.”
• Adam highlights how audiences unaccustomed to “meta” jokes may not get the act at first.

---

5. Riffing on Comedy Form & Mainstream Stand-up

[35:25 - 41:23] Key Segment

Comparing to Sebastian Maniscalco & Dane Cook

• The hosts break down how mainstream comics (e.g., Maniscalco) wring laughter from the everyday, sometimes “complaining about things that don’t make sense to complain about.”

Quote:

“What’s up with the plug? [...] He's using the side that's prickly. He's not using the smooth side.”
— Adam Carolla, riffing on observational comedy [40:40–40:50]

• Timmy and Adam play with the idea of delivering “obvious jokes,” poking fun at the tropes of the format.

"I like making fun of stand up... just making fun of the form a little bit.” — Timmy No Breaks [41:06–41:08]

---

6. LA Comedy Audiences & Culture

[41:23 - 44:09] Key Segment

• Adam notes LA audiences (especially at the Comedy Store) are “a little uptight, a little nervous or weird or Hitlerian or something,” compared to road crowds.
• Timmy reflects on the “anything goes” attitude of the Kill Tony audience and contrasts with LA club gigs where his character sometimes bombs.

---

7. Improv, Collaboration, and “Yes, And...”

[44:09 - 47:37] Key Segment

• Adam’s core advice: comedians should take improv classes to learn how to support a premise and “yes, and” rather than shooting down ideas, facilitating better riffing and conversation.

Quote:

“All that you have to do is... just the yes and thing. If you just do that, you’re, you know, you're in riff heaven.”
— Timmy No Breaks [44:53]

• Adam: “Disagreement is where you go when you don’t have anything funny to say... we’re not going anywhere." [45:03]

---

8. "Fat Airlines," the Maid Rants, and Everyday Annoyances

[47:45 - 63:36] Highlights

• Adam proposes airfares should be “pay by weight” (of person and bag), riffing about “fit airlines” and how women would benefit under this system, and voices frustration over people disagreeing for its own sake.
• The running “maid” rant: Adam humorously obsesses over his cleaner repositioning his alarm clock and TV remote, despite his notes in English and Spanish.

Memorable Quotes:

• “Who the fuck do you think is turning it toward the pillow? Do you think someone’s breaking into my house the day before you come here? ... I'm turning it toward the pillow because that's where I want the clock!” — Adam Carolla [54:56]
• “I put a piece of paper and I taped it to the bathroom mirror, and I just wrote, you fat fucking. You sick of me? I'm glad the airlines are gouging your fat ass.” — Adam Carolla [56:00]
• Timmy suggests writing maid notes in Spanish: “This is gonna sound racist. I actually think it might... write it in Spanish.” [55:47]

---

9. “Catch a Contractor” and LA Realities

[63:00 - 69:47] Key Segment

• Adam discusses his TV show “Catch a Contractor,” which ambushed and confronted negligent or scammy home contractors, usually in tough LA neighborhoods.
• He relates a “trash can forensics” bit, joking about deducing neighborhoods’ demographics from the contents of alleyway trash cans (e.g., Shaq’s Pineapple Soda bottles = Black neighborhood).
• Timmy and Adam joke about a game show called “Name that Race” based on parking lot cars or trash contents.

Quote:

“I wanted to do a game show... Name that Race. I’ll tell you who’s driving what car.” — Adam Carolla [66:12]

---

10. News Rundown with Alicia Krause

[82:53 - 99:11] Key Segment

Trump’s ‘Endorsement’ of Spencer Pratt

• Trump references Spencer Pratt, confusingly suggesting he “probably supports me” and is “a big MAGA person.”
• Alicia Krause disputes Trump’s claims about California’s voting system, presenting data on party registration and mail-in ballots.

Quotes:

• Trump (clip): “If we had Jesus Christ come down and count the votes, I would have won California… You have a rigged vote out there.” [83:13]
• Alicia: “The jungle primary system has been locking out Republicans for a really long time… Republicans not getting their ballot and Democrats getting eight ballots… is not true.” [84:47]

Homelessness in California

• Adam and Alicia dig into hard stats showing most homeless in LA are from out of state or outside the US.
• They play a viral clip of a homeless man explaining why he moved to San Francisco: “If you’re gonna be homeless, it’s pretty easy here… They pay you to be homeless here. $620 a month, 200 in food stamps, and cash.” [99:45–100:21]

On Incentives and Policy

• Adam uses anecdotes to highlight how policies around welfare, rent control, and immigration lead to unintended consequences and “path of least resistance” behavior.

“Democrats don’t understand unintended consequences... it’s all incentive. It’s all dogs at the airport.” — Adam Carolla [91:53]

---

11. Notable and Funny Moments

• Timmy on Characters: “I'm having trouble coming up with a new character. [...] I never came up with another character. I just rolled the Birch. [...] You can just be funny.” [16:18–16:25]
• Adam on Comedy in LA: “Comedy Store, they're still, like, a little uptight with jokes that are, like, edgy or weird or Hitlerian or something like that.” [41:23]
• Riffing on Maid Antics: “My beef with the maids is I do not mind them cleaning floors and toilets and sinks and everything else. I don’t like the straightening up part.” [50:25]

---

12. Timestamps for Key Segments

• Timmy No Breaks Character Origin: [02:46–06:41]
• Adam’s Mr. Burcham & Radio Persona: [07:33–16:18]
• Comedy Training & Groundlings Stories: [22:26–25:10]
• Kill Tony Set Analysis: [26:43–29:49]
• Meta-Comedy and Crowd Work: [29:49–32:30]
• Sebastian Maniscalco Comparison: [35:25–41:23]
• Improv, “Yes, And,” Comedy Culture: [44:09–45:53]
• Airlines/’Fat Airlines’ Rant: [47:45–49:49]
• Maid Routine & Pen Bit: [54:56–56:00]
• Catch a Contractor, “Name that Race”: [63:00–66:33]
• Trump/Spencer Pratt News: [82:53–85:21]
• Homeless Clip & Welfare Incentives: [99:45–101:36]

---

13. Final Thoughts

The episode offers a rare glimpse into the interplay between improv and stand-up, the emotional labor behind comedic character work, and the culture wars swirling around LA. The hosts’ discussion blends sharp humor, self-effacing storytelling, and unfiltered takes on everything from the difficulties of breaking comedic molds to the civic—and personal—annoyances of life in Southern California.

Closing Quote:

“So till next time, Adam Kroll for Timmy, no breaks. And Rudy and Alicia Krause saying mahalo.”
— Adam Carolla [105:41]

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

In this episode, Timmy no Breaks comes on and man, he is funny with Rudy. Also, we'll do the news with Alicia Krause right after this. Thanks for tuning in to the Adam Carolla Show. You can watch the full show on YouTube just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcast wherever you like to listen. And for extra content, ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up. Today, May 27, Hollywood history meets radio history as Kroc's own Adam Carolla is honored with a star on the legendary Hollywood Walk of fame, Wednesday, May 27, 11:30am at the corner of Hollywood and Highland. This isn't just a celebration of one career. It's recognition of a city and era and the soundtrack of Southern California itself. Join Jimmy Kimmel, Dr. Drew and generations of Loveline fans for Adam's induction as a Hollywood icon While celebrating over 50 years of the greatest radio station in the country, the world famous KROQ. Wednesday, May 27, 11:30am at the corner of Hollywood and Highland. Congratulations, Adam Carolla. Foreign.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Foreign.

[Adam Carolla]

Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, comedian Timmy no Breaks. Plus the news with Alicia Krause. And now Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on, got to get it on the church are gonna mandate you get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. We got Tim Stiefler, Timmy no Breaks. You may know him by. Also, Rudy Pavich is hanging in studio today because Tim and Rudy, I guess have an acquaintance, right? Go back a little bit.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, we go back. We actually go back a while. I think it was Tuesday. Mm.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah, this Tuesday, by the way, just in case anybody's confused. But yeah, Tuesday is when we went.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, Rudy was coming in doing news anyway, so I said, why don't you just have hang in and we'll just kind of gang bang this thing and it'll be fun.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Gang bang me for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

So Timmy no Breaks was. Is that a character that you had before Kill Tony? How did that character work?

[Timmy no Breaks]

I came up with it like six months before I got on. So I was like doing it A little bit. And I just came up with it at an open mic, riffing with a friend. It was just, like, based on. Yeah, it wasn't even meant to be, like, a dice thing. It was just a bad comedian who. Who would say a punchline that isn't a punchline and then just yell at everybody for not getting it. And that was the whole thing. That was it. I went on Kill Tony and I did a minute of that, and it bombed. And, like, it was working pretty well. Like, when I, you know, would be like, what would I say? It would be like, bitch, I got bills to pay. And then. That's not a punchline.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Timmy no Breaks]

But that was like my big finisher. And then nobody would react and be like, what the fuck is it? Guys, have you heard of a punchline? This is grade A shit with the. I know the shit.

[Adam Carolla]

It works.

[Timmy no Breaks]

And I would just keep building and, like, just freak out more and more. And then. And then. Yeah, so I did it. I did it for, like, a minute. And it takes. Sometimes it takes, like, a couple minutes for people to get it. And then sometimes people get in there like, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I mean, it's interesting when you do a character and it's. And it's. It's interesting as a host. Like, I remember sometimes people try to do a character all through an interview. They'll just go, I'm gonna stick with this. All through it. And I used to do a character. It's how I got onto the radio and I was able to do interviews. I did Loveline for two hours as Mr. Burcham, my character as a guest on the show, but I stuck with it. But that's me.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Was it like a Phil Hendry thing where you were you. And then you'd go back and forth in between character.

[Adam Carolla]

I was a. I wasn't hosting Loveline yet. I was a guest on the show as this character before it was syndicated, which is weird, but I remember doing it. But I, in the past, then became the host, and at some point, I had to. The guests on the show were the band, the Aquabats. And I'd go, all right, but I want to know about the band's origin. We're from Aquatonia. I'm like, okay, guys, you're not going to be able to do it for two hours. You're not be able to do two hours if you're from Aqua Tony. It's like, we're sticking with it. And it's like, you guys aren't good enough to fucking pull this off for two hours. And they could not pull off their aquabat bullshit for two hours. And it was like, it's the worst ever. Because you're like, hosting and you want to go, hey, Jared, knock it off. Yeah, you're from Orange county just fucking now. Your dad's an orthodontist. You're not from Aquatonia. No, we got fucking. Well, let me do an interview here. Like War from Aqua Tonia. Like, it's so fucked up. Yeah. So it's nice that you can slide in and slide out and not have to. Yeah, I do.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I do do it. I have done like a three hour podcast as Timmy. No breaks. Of like.

[Adam Carolla]

But if you can do it.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, like, I've done it so much that, like, it's just, you know, you can use. Do it, but it's all bullshit. So it's just me, like every. It's all like, riffing and. Yes. Anding. Improv shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Cause I'll say something crazy and then the last. You know, and it's. It's fun, but it's completely meaningless.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know, maybe we can find out. What year was Mr. Burcham on Loveline? It was a. It was a year before I was the host of Loveline and then. Any aquabat. Shit, is there any aquabat? I think they're like Mormon or something. There were like a Kroc band from the late 90s that had a hit and a half.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Just five dudes in matching blue onesies going door to door asking if they've

[Adam Carolla]

heard the good words. Yeah, they were kind of like. It was like five guys from Orange county went, you guys remember Devo, right? Yeah. Those guys made a lot of money. Yeah, well, that was a long time ago, bro. Yeah, I'll ask my 14 year old brother if he's heard of Diva. Hasn't heard of him. How about we do the aquabats? Like, it's basically just Devo, but it's Nuvo and we could do this and get paid and I don't know, whatever. Burcham debuted on Loveline in August of 95. Can I hear what Bertram sounds like? All right, well, you can tell me about Timmy. No breaks. And. And I'll tell you about Bertram origin stories.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Let's go back and forth. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So I was. I was teaching Jimmy Kimmel to box, and it's a long story. And he said, I can get you on the radio, but you. What do you got to do something, you know? And he said, what do you do? What's your thing? You know, comically? And I go, I like. I hang and I riff and I, you know, I shoot the breeze and I improvise. I make everyone better, you know? And he goes, we don't need that. We got Kevin, we got Bean. That's what they do. You're gonna sit between them. You know what I mean? I was like, we don't do that. You don't do that. I said, well, that's kind of what I got, you know? And he goes, you want to get on the air, you come up with a character. And I go, I'm not really a character, dude. And he goes, well, you better become one. You better become one or you're not getting on the air. And I was like, all right. And then he goes, you got the weekend to work on it. Monday, you can call in now. I'm not gonna tell him who you are. I'm not gonna tell him you're my boxing coach. Cause they're gonna go, I don't know what the fucking boxing coach thinks. He's a comedian, you know. That's not gonna work. I'm just gonna tell Kevin and Bean, I got a guy. Trust me. I gave him the hotline. He's gonna call in Monday, 7:30 in the morning. I think it'll be funny, whatever it is. So then I sat home the whole weekend, and I was like, what is my character and why am I calling in to the radio show? And I was like, you? I was like, I have Groundlings training. And I was like, what's this guy's motivation? Why does he need to talk to Kevin and Bean and who is he? And I'm like, he's the gay movie reviewer, you know? And I was like, I can't fucking pull that off. Like, I had no range. I had no range. So then I, like, I sat around and I was like, what is really the only thing you know? And the answer was carpentry. I know all things carpentry. And I was like, all right, so what if this guy was a construction worker or something like that? I was like, yeah, but why is he calling in to the station? You know? And then I thought, I started thinking back on all my junior high shop teachers and what dicks they were and how fucking surly they all were, like big, scary, big forum guys that were just angry and scary all the time. And I was like, what if you were a pissed off shop teacher and you fucking hated kids? And I'm like, okay, all Right. That's something, because I know all the lingo and everything, and I know who these guys are. So I could maybe be angry shop teacher guy, but then I was like, why are you calling into kroq? Because KROC is for kids. It's like the demo's like 15 from Orange County. You know what I mean? Huge. Number one for, like, young, cool people in LA. But not this guy, Mr. Burcham. It's in his 40s or 50s. And I was like, what's his motivation? And then I figured it out, which is a little diabolical, which is, back then, everybody used a clock alarm with a radio in it, and they all had it set to their favorite radio station. No one had a cell phone. You watch movies from the 70s, 80s and 90s. They start with the DJ. Hey, good morning. Guy wakes up, right? That's how everyone had it, right? So I'm like, I'm gonna call in at 7:30 or 7:15, because I know all my kids who go to my school, which is Louis Pasteur Middle School in Monrovia, California.

[Timmy no Breaks]

And. Did you make that?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I made it all up.

[Timmy no Breaks]

It sounds so real.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. And I said. I said, they. They all listen to kroq because they're right in the demo.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm not making it in today because I got injured in the garage over the weekend, which every weekend I was injured in the garage. I can't come in. But I. I got choice words for my kids. I got to talk to them because they're going in and I'm not going to be there. And that Quimby, Mr. Stepanzi is going to be filling in for me. And I got some words now. He's going to. He's going to put the movie Blood on the band saw. You guys are going to watch it for 20 minutes and you put your head on the desk and that's it until the bell ring. And if anyone messes with my drill index or my Makita calendar, you get on my Ms. Makita calendar, you're going to have hell to pay. I don't want anyone making bongs in there or hash pipes, you know? And I start screaming at all the kids, right? And then I'm like, what are you doing? I'm going. Stay out of this. I'm tired. You listen to me. I know you hear me. You're all listening to this crap station to play the Nervosa and smashing dumplings or whatever crap you guys are pumping out, scrambling all their brains but listen to me now. And so I'm yelling at everyone through their radio.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I go, now look, there's only one guy permitted to work in the workshop, and that's Brad Higginstaller. Brad, listen to me. Because they always had one student they liked. You know what I mean? It's like, Brad, I was thinking a lot about that cigar box you're building your grandpa over the weekend. I think it would maybe do a butt joint. But then we thought about a dado joint and then maybe a dovetail joint. But I think, I think we'll just do. We're gonna do a butt joint with some Brad nails and we'll do non soluble water soluble glue on there. And I started laying out like use the, use the jet saw with the biesemeyer fence, the 10 inch 60 tooth carbide on there and go ahead and use a push stick. Let's play it safe. And I talk him through this whole, like, building.

[Timmy no Breaks]

And they're just letting you go, oh,

[Adam Carolla]

Brad, Brad, one other thing. And I'd start and so they were like, okay. And then like I talked to Jimmy and Jimmy's like, this guy's kind of cool. It was kind of fun.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Did I kill.

[Adam Carolla]

Dude, you're on the radio. Like, I don't know what we're doing. I don't. We don't have an audience, you know. And I'm like, on the phone.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

You'll find out six weeks later when they put the Scantron.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just talking on my phone in my fucking rented house in La Crescenta with my three roommates at 7 in the morning. How old were you? I was like 29. And said Jimmy was like, well, they kind of thought it was cool. Like, call in, call in next week, you know. And I was like, all right. And then. And I would just call in and go, okay, I'm injured again, so I can't come in. And then I would come up with these crazy injuries. Yeah, Like, I was doing high rise work and I was up on like the 25th floor and it's just a steel structure with the pan down. And I was in the porta potty up there and I was sitting down and break gantry crane broke loose and the thing swung down and smacked me and I went sliding across the pan and I hit the elevator shaft. And then it was just a free fall. Yeah. You know, and I was just floating in there in the Milky Way, man, zero gravity situation. And somebody like, survived, but I got hepatitis or pink eye or something. I can't make it in. So anyway, and then I would start yelling, yeah, I got injured. I would just sit around and go, I can't come in. I had an issue. Like if it was around Halloween. No, no, it was Thanksgiving. It was Thanksgiving and I was making my famous drunken pumpkin pie where I take a full pumpkin and I hollow it out, I fill it with. I fill it with vodka and I let it sit for two weeks in the garage. And then I make a pie out of it and everyone gets up and it was in the garage and I was working with acetylene torch, and somehow the torch got too close to the pumpkin. The pumpkin blew up, took me out. It was all crazy injuries. And then, why can't come in? And then here's what the kids need to do. And then it turned into like a sensation.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Which is weird.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

And obviously it took off because if you didn't know, Tim, it had one season of an animated series called Mr. Burcham, which you did. Which I would argue the Aquabats did get a fucking one season of an animated.

[Adam Carolla]

What happened to the Aquabats? Is anyone looking for the Aquabats but you.

[Timmy no Breaks]

You know what? You know what is a fun fact? Travis Barker, the.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yes.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Blink 182, the most famous drummer was in that band. So he was.

[Adam Carolla]

He was an Aquabat.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, he was the. The drummer from Blink. Wayne, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Are we not looking for any Aquabat related anythings? No, we're looking.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, I don't think we should get now or.

[Adam Carolla]

They're looking for 10 minutes.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Really got. That's awesome. I had no idea. That's so cool.

[Adam Carolla]

It was all the character stuff.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, the character stuff is. I'm having trouble coming up with a new character. So if you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you don't have. I never came up with another character. I just rolled the birch. I just went did funny on my own. But you can just be funny.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Well, that's. That's. That's one of the reasons why I wanted you guys to meet is because when I first heard about Timmy, no breaks, I saw the clip and was like, what the hell is this? Okay. And then I. And I can tell by the look on your face that you're like, oh, I don't want to get pigeonholed for that. And then we have a good mutual friend, Ryan Neeson. And Ryan's like, I'm telling you, it's not this. You gotta see the show. So I think it was Monday night at the Comedy Store in the Belly Room during Netflix as a joke festival. I went and I was like, all right, we'll check it out. And 20 minutes into the show, I'm like, oh, I get. I get what this is now. I get it. And it was, it's inventive, it's creative, it's funny, it's very racist. That was my favorite part of the show. But it was, it was incredibly refreshing and unique and like, your parents were there and they were super jazzed to see you. Like, it was a really good night for me.

[Timmy no Breaks]

It was a really, really good night.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, it was great.

[Adam Carolla]

Found. Oh. When I was using multiple apps juggling business finance, it was very stressful. And that's why I use Found. They give you one platform to handle it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices and taxes. They've automated things like tracking expenses, finding write offs, and budgeting for tax time. You can even send invoices for free and pay your contractors. Everything, all from one app. I really used to dread tax season every year, but now I can focus on the things that I love about my job. I basically replace three apps with one. Being a business owner is hard enough in this economy. Simplify your finances with Found. Right, Dawson. Take back control of your business today. Open a Found account for [e-mail] that's f o u n d.com found is a financial tech technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic. Join the hundreds of thousands who've already streamlined their finances with Found. At first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free. Truth is that it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe Arrow, the 100 and the X Files may cause excitement, loss of sleep and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay never.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions, and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary.

[Alicia Krause]

Hey, I just Venmo'd you for rent.

[Adam Carolla]

Nice. Now I can instantly spend it whether I'm checking out online with Venmo or using a Venmo debit card.

[Alicia Krause]

Say more.

[Adam Carolla]

More. Exactly. Because the more you do with Venmo, the more you get, like, earning up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash on a bundle of brands.

[Alicia Krause]

So order more pizza.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

The meth demands it.

[Alicia Krause]

Get the Venmo debit card.

[Adam Carolla]

Venmo stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. See terms of Venmo Me Slash Stone. Venmo checkout not available at all merchants. Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank. NA Super Experience. We have an audio clip of the aqua pants from Loveline from 1997.

[Timmy no Breaks]

How did you guys dig that up?

[Adam Carolla]

They're the best. It's still.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Dude, I cannot wait. We got to hear this.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm the captain. Lou, you did the big blue Albano Albino.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Albino.

[Adam Carolla]

It depends on. You did the Aquabats video, right? Yeah, I directed the video.

[Timmy no Breaks]

All right, let's.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me just. Wait, hold on. That's Bobcat. Yeah, that's Bobcat. Okay. Shove the Aquabats. For those who aren't hip to the Aquabats, I was. I got the big package today, and I was thinking about it. This is going to be the next big wave of music. F. The Spice Girls. The Aquabats are in town.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

I am riding their cap.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Spice Girl, this is a long time ago.

[Adam Carolla]

You are on one hand on the cape. You gotta. You can get back to us when you find them talking, I guess. Also, every time someone digs up one of these tapes, someone goes, you sounded so much different. It was. It's compressed. It sound. It's fun. 30 years ago. And it was on tape. Magnetic tape, and it's compressed. If you listen to Howard Stern from 1985, you go, he sounds so different. No, it's. The tape is different. The part that's.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I thought it was Conan at first. I thought that Conan was on the show.

[Adam Carolla]

So if you find the acrobats talking, it's the tape. It's also partly the playback speed of cassette tapes. Oh, it is. Yeah. So, yeah, this stuff was fun. And. But it is true that voices do change over years, so you don't sound like you sounded 20 years ago. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Dawson. But I appreciate that. But I know you.

[Timmy no Breaks]

You also don't look like you.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Voices change. I understand. That's not really explaining what this is, but I understand. That's the tape. Yeah. I had a grandpa, and he was. Voice sound different. He was older. Yep.

[Timmy no Breaks]

It happens, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Did your job. All right, so you. Do we have. Do we want to see a clip of you on Kill Tony? Is that where it kind of blew up, though, for you?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because you hadn't been doing stand up that long before that.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, I was an improv guy, so I was doing improv, and then I switched to stand up, like, three and a half years ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Where were you doing improv?

[Timmy no Breaks]

I did ucb. I wasn't, like, on any teams. Like, I always got the same feedback, which was like, you have to play the straight man more. Like, you can't just keep going out and doing crazy stuff. So I never got anywhere, but I did. I was like, in all the schools or whatever. So I did ucb. The first class I took was Groundling, so I did the first two levels there. UCB Magnet Theater in New York and Second City.

[Adam Carolla]

That's funny. I did all Groundlings all the way through.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Groundlings was the most intense one.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree.

[Timmy no Breaks]

And that was where I started. I was like, holy shit. It was super competitive. The teachers were very intense, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

I did a competition there recently, and Jesus, they've come, right? Like, you don't even know these people, and they're already yelling at you.

[Adam Carolla]

I was talking to a couple of women, by the way. Women, you're not helping your friends by agreeing with everything they say all the fucking time. You're just making them worse. Women need to check other women and go, sorry, Becky, I disagree with that. You're fucking nuts. Like, the one woman was talking about the Groundlings, and she was going, I took the grounds. I didn't like the grounds because they're always coming at you with critiques and telling you what you're doing wrong. And the other woman's like, I know they're mean. Like, why you don't want. And I'm going, I went all the way through the Groundlings. Everyone was mean to me, and that's why I got really fucking good at this. They're like, yeah, but if you don't feel comfortable. Yeah, I didn't feel com. Well, if she doesn't feel comfortable, it's like, get fucking used to it and get better. Cynthia Sagetti was a fat, mean bitch. She would fucking scream at me all the time. I'd walk out on stage. Hi. What's going on? Don't ask questions. Come back. Come back. Come back in. Come back in. Hello. What'd you bring, Adam? Nothing. Then go out and come back again. Hi, everybody. I brought fruit salad. And then it's like you'd bend over like someone's working on something, and you'd go, doing space work. And you'd go, what are you guys doing here? Oh, hey, you're changing a flat. Don't ask, just say it. And it was like they beat the shit out of you. And then you got good, and then you were able to work out Mr. Burcham. Yep. That's how it works.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Without the Groundlings and this fat bitch, there would be no. There would be no Mr. Bertram.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

I got to admit, when I was getting screamed at, I kind of got a little turned on. I was like, there's something about it from, like, a woman just yelling at you in front of a group of people. I was like, good thing I'm wearing a long shirt.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Nobody yelled at me, but I kind of wish I got that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I, I.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That was the problem with improv, was they. It just became so supportive and sensitive and stuff. And, like, people would go up, do terrible, and they'd be like, that was awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Oh, my God, dude.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this is.

[Timmy no Breaks]

It was. It was.

[Adam Carolla]

This was a simpler time when they told you the truth. Cynthia Zaghetti, who's now passed, but she did Seinfeld and all that kind of stuff, she was, like a mainstay at the Groundlings, and she. One time during the break, during the break of our whatever class, writer's lab or something, I called my girlfriend. We got into this fucking huge argument. I was, like, on a payphone, and she's like, I'm breaking up with you. And I'm like, no. Anyway, I go back in. Everyone's on a break. I pull Cynthia aside, I go, listen, I just got in a fucking big wreck with my girlfriend. I'm at no head space for comedy. I'm all fucking distracted and shit. I'm going to her fucking apartment right now. So I'm just going to quietly kind of slip out of class. She's like, okay. And everyone comes back, and I'm standing there, and she goes, hey, everybody. Adam has to leave because he's sad because he had an argument with his girlfriend, so he doesn't think he has to do comedy anymore. And I'm like, what the. Like, Jesus Christ. Gets super personal now.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Oh, my God.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Go back. Come in with some Chocolate.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but it fucking works. It worked.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Damn, dude.

[Adam Carolla]

Man, I think we got your. Your. Is this your Kill Tony clip? Yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

So let's see. Oh, yeah, this is the first one. Yeah, like you said. My name's Timmy.

[Adam Carolla]

No breaks.

[Timmy no Breaks]

And you might wanna buckle the up.

[Adam Carolla]

Get this.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I was at the nut store. I was buying nuts. I go up to the weighted thing. The woman's like, that's gonna be a hundred dollars.

[Adam Carolla]

I was like, I got bills to pay. You guys ever have a punchline?

[Timmy no Breaks]

All right, don't worry, you're gonna love this one.

[Adam Carolla]

Get this.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I was at the doctor. Yeah, the fucking doctor. I go up to this doctor, he's like 10 Mino bricks. Look at Tony's face. You need treatment.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm a healthy guy. I'm a young boy. He's like, you need treatment. I'm like, how much is that gonna cost? He's like, a hundred dollars. I was like, that's a good deal. This is great. A shit. This is good shit. What the fuck, Timmy?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

David Lucas looks like he wants to eat you.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Oh, my God. Yeah. He was so fucking.

[Adam Carolla]

That's funny.

[Timmy no Breaks]

And then. Yeah, so the minute. The minute didn't do great. And then the. The interview was where everything, like, went viral and blew up.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the thing you have to. It needs emulsification. You can't really do it in a minute. Like, you have to. You have to sort of come on to what the gag is and understand it. And also the non professional green comedians who come up there, that's a kind of an advanced thought or technique for that stage. So you don't think that that guy is doing this three dimensional chess up there. You're used to just bad jokes from green comics, you know, so it's like the context is kind of weird. Like, oh, that guy's doing an artistic interesting thing with the background of Groundlings and Second City and everything. But I'm not prepared for that. I'm prepared for sort of young hacky comedians.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

You know, how much of your act is completely improvised and how much is kind of like scripted crowd work, scripted improvisation?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Well, what you saw, like, I just. I just did. It was. It was mostly all like scripted what you saw. But then, like, normally I've got other things, but I was like, I'm just gonna cut the fluff and, you know, so I do that. That segment where I have the GoPro and I'm like, I need to get viral clips or whatever. I'll like do actual Crowd work. But those. Those moments were planned.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Getting punched in the face and, like, you know. But yeah, I like, I. That's the one thing I don't like about stand up. I don't like doing the same thing every time, but it's like, you know, so, like, having to build an act and, like, do it and then kind of perfecting stuff. So I always try to have, like, improv in there. For sure.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah. I like it when comics have that sort of scripted crowd work moment. Cause I have a small chunk of my act that I use where it's, like, it's crowd work, but it's scripted. I know exactly where it's gonna go.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

And the guys who are the greatest at it, like, I went and saw Ian Bagg one night, and my girlfriend and I went to the early show, and it was so good, and it looks so off the cuff, and I'm like, we're buying tickets to the second show. We go to the box office, buy tickets, come back, it's the same exact show.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Holy shit.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I was like, he's very good at.

[Adam Carolla]

He's very good at it.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

But, yeah, I mean, obviously, it was a little different here and there, but I was like, oh, it's got the same beats. It's like 75% of it is the same.

[Timmy no Breaks]

But then there's. But then there's, like, those moments where it was like, so that was my dad. And I was like, okay, I want you to say you're a pedophile, but look at my dad when you say, oh, funny. Yeah, so that. That, like, that was actually my dad. That was actually my brother. So there were. There were, like, definitely moments of my glasses weren't supposed to break when they, like. Do you remember when you threw your

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

glasses off and one of the lenses

[Timmy no Breaks]

came out and that, like, actually, like, really fudged up some stuff. So, yeah, there's, you know, and everything. Like, the take it from the top thing. Like, I actually fucked up, like, performing once. I was like, all right, let's start over. And I was like, oh, I think that's gonna be how I start.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

So a lot of it was, like, riffs that then you solidify does.

[Adam Carolla]

I kind of feel you in that. I came from all sketch and improv, like, all improv for many, many, many years before standup. And I hated repeating a joke. It felt weird and uncomfortable, and it felt like the opposite of comedy. And it took a long time for me to wrap my head around that. No, you have to work on the Joke and hone the joke and then do the joke and that. And you do it again, and you do it again. And that's what this art form is. But it always fucked me up at the beginning because I just wouldn't want to do the same stuff. But I'm wondering if that's the improv background.

[Timmy no Breaks]

100%.

[Adam Carolla]

Because I feel felt the same way. And I'm just going to tell you early, get over it. This is a different skill. And it's sort of like what this is. And so you have to be like, okay with it. Because it always bothered me too. But I think if we just started doing standup, it wouldn't have bothered us.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Does anybody go do any stand up? Comedians go up that you know of and just always improvise the whole set for the most part.

[Adam Carolla]

Or like, maybe I used to, before I had an act, I was like, you had to. I would do, what can't Adam complain about? And then I would just walk out and I would just go, what can't Adam complain about? Let's go. And someone would go, like, puppies. And then I'd figure out a way to complain about puppies. And then someone else go, clouds. I'd go, all right, I'm gonna complain about clouds. And then sometimes people would catch on and go, like, Gavin Newsom. They know I would want. I could easily complain about Gavin Newsom, but they would try to figure out, I do the first 45 minutes of my act doing that, and it always worked, which was kind of nuts.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That sounds way more fun to me.

[Adam Carolla]

It is more fun. It's also like, if you're doing three shows a night, you gotta burn some calories up there. You know what I mean? You can't just sink into your act and kind of autopilot it. You gotta. You gotta do it. And that's all I ever did. Cause I didn't have an act, but I was being booked everywhere. So I was like, well, you're getting booked everywhere, but you don't have an act. So that took care of that.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Well, it's fun for guys like you two that can do it. Cause when you watch somebody who doesn't have that skill on stage because you hear guys like Louis CK Say, I don't write a joke. I just go on stage and I just write it while I'm performing. And then people go, oh, that's how you're supposed to do it. Then they go on stage, and you're like, okay, that's not how you're supposed to do it. That's how Louie's doing. Supposed to do it.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Right, right, right.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

You need to write down what you're gonna say.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But then I cut it out altogether. I was like, the only way you're gonna be a real standup is if you get rid of all crowd work.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

You do zero crowd work, and you only do jokes. And so then I swore off of crowd work. Right when everyone else swore on to crowd work. I. I swore. I said, I'm not. I'm not doing it. But is pompous as this sounds, I don't do it. Not because I'm not good at. It's too easy for me. And so I was like, I want to do jokes. I want to try to challenge myself. So I got off it to force myself to write and to memorize and to hone stuff. And it worked. It made me a little more discipline and, like, a little more focused, you know? And now, I mean, you can always go to the crowd work if you. If you like, but. But it's nice to have, like, a good, solid hour for sure. Ready. Ready to go wherever. Wherever you gotta go.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, Yeah, I totally agree with that.

[Adam Carolla]

I was actually. When you were doing your bit, Sebastian, is it Maniscol?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Maniscalco.

[Adam Carolla]

Maniscalco. It's the scalc. Maniscalco. In a weird way, your character is sort of Sebastian Maniscalco's act. Because if you find, like, him, and I like Sebastian, you find him, like, on. I was watching one of his things. I think it was a trailer for something. But he was doing a bit about being on the treadmill, and he's like, you're running on the treadmill.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you got this lady next to you. She's got her phone, she's got a key. Yeah. That's what you do when you're on the trip. Let's sweat the keys. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Timmy no Breaks]

It's like she was eating a muffin.

[Adam Carolla]

But he's just talking about what people do on a treadmill. Like, I go on a treadmill, I take my phone out, I take my keys or my room card or whatever the fuck I got on me, and I just, like, set it in the cup holder. But that's what people do.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're taking.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Complaining about things that, like, don't make sense to complain about is a very funny idea for. I think Timmy Nobreak should maybe do. I wanted to do something that's like, really bad act outs to me or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Or like really over the top, you know, like about things that you wouldn't normally act out.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm running late and I got some bitch in a car in front of me and she's driving. Okay. Cause she's got to be in a car driving guy. And I'm behind her and she don't even know I'm there. You know, like, that's like, like super basic stuff. Like he's. It's funny. I go, all right, we go out to eat. I get out of the car. She's still in the car. I'm like, get out of the car. Get out of the. Yeah, she's getting. She got out after. Yeah, Then she got out. All right. And then the. Then we're ordering. Yeah. She's got questions. What's this special? This all sounds like regular. Can I get water? Yeah, what the hell?

[Timmy no Breaks]

That's fun. That's fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's. You got to do some. I'll do that. Basic. If you find Super Bastion, it was a trail. It was a trailer for a stand up special he did a couple of years ago. But it is. It is kind of weird. It also means they're really good at selling it. Yeah. Because if I was just up there going, I'm on a treadmill and I got some chick next to me, she put her keys in the cup holder. What's up? People be like, nothing's up. I don't know.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That's so funny to me, the idea of somebody like doing that though, and just be like, yeah, what's up with that?

[Adam Carolla]

She's got.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I was also. This other time, I was, you know,

[Adam Carolla]

like you said, he does the earphones.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Funny.

[Timmy no Breaks]

These Uber drivers keep talking to me. I'm like, stop.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

He also does a thing that's kind of Dane Cookish, where on the punch line he indicates to the crowd. This is where you're supposed to laugh.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I think a lot of people do that. I know. It's like, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Cuz like Dame used to. Dame would do it almost. He would do it physically.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

He would like, put his arm in the air. Like on the last syllable he would punch up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

And Sebastian does it. Is that the clip?

[Adam Carolla]

I think. I think so. Let's see. I go to the gym. Maybe if I'm feeling good, I'll hit the treadmill. I put it on a 5.0. It's a valet job. Let me go get your Mercedes. Then a guy comes right next to me. This guy's empty in his life. The wallet, the Keys. Then he put his little buds in. What the hell is going.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That's what everybody does.

[Adam Carolla]

He's got the phone. What's he going to do?

[Timmy no Breaks]

You have those too.

[Adam Carolla]

We all do. Fifteen minutes in, he goes for the water. What's going on?

[Timmy no Breaks]

It's like, oh, you're tired.

[Adam Carolla]

What now? Look, they probably edited it some weird way or something like that, but you're literally just describing what every human being does on a treadmill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Complain about somebody using a fork to eat their food.

[Adam Carolla]

And he's using the side that's prickly. He's not using the smooth side. He's using the stabby side.

[Timmy no Breaks]

And the guy's like, you want parmesan? And he keeps going. I'm like, when are you gonna say when? What the hell?

[Adam Carolla]

That's what everyone does on a treadmill. Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

What?

[Timmy no Breaks]

He just.

[Adam Carolla]

That's very funny.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That is very funny. Because the first one was like, okay, that's a joke. And then the next one, he's like, they put in their AirPods.

[Adam Carolla]

What the fuck? I'm dick.

[Timmy no Breaks]

What the hell is going on?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I love that.

[Adam Carolla]

I do. And that's where you go, wow, that guy's an actor.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

He's theatrical. He's. He sells it. He sells it.

[Timmy no Breaks]

But if it's actually more impressive to be like, my punchline is, you put in AirPods.

[Adam Carolla]

If you read the transcript to that, you'd go, well, yeah. So it's this instructions that comes with the treadmill. No, no. So it's comedy routine, but with the treadmill. This came with the treadmill. Is it laminated? No, no, it's a stand up routine.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I would love him. I would love it if he read directions for how to set up a FM radio or something that you get in the mail and just comedy. Like the idea of just being like, I'm so good.

[Adam Carolla]

You take the plug, you put it

[Timmy no Breaks]

in, you put it on, you put

[Adam Carolla]

it in the wall. What's up with the plug?

[Timmy no Breaks]

And then it's powered on.

[Adam Carolla]

What the heck am. And that's two things. Yeah. You got to do obvious jokes.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

That aren't jokes.

[Timmy no Breaks]

It's easier to write really bad jokes. Yeah, but. But it's also more fun. I don't know. So I like making fun of stand up. Like, to me, that's very. That's always been my sense of humor. Like just making fun of the form a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I agree. I was last night with Mark Norman and Sam Morrell and who else? Joe Liss. Who else was I with? The Comedy Store. I forgot. I only do comedy on the road. I forgot la. And kind of. How kind of? I don't know what to call them. They're a little uptight. The audience a little nervous or something. It's not what we experience on the road. I almost never perform in la. Cause I'm just. I either go on the road and then I come back and I'm not doing anything and I go on the road again. But I walked out and I could almost go, oh, they're a little uptight. Like, they're. They're. They're little. Even Mark's audience, they're still la. It's still the Comedy Store, and they're still, like, a little uptight with. With jokes that are, like, edgy or weird or Hitlerian or something like that.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Meanwhile, me, I have a black puppet that I take out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Like, they're the. The Kill Tony audience. Like, I mean, they could be really dumb, but, like, to their credit, they're down with anything no matter where I go.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Which is cool. But, yeah, I have. I did. I did a show at a sushi restaurant that was really nice, like, Yamashiro, like, right above Magic House. Have you done that show?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Yeah, on the 26th.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Okay, cool. That was. That was one of the harder bombs I've. I've ever had. Yeah, I was coming out also. Like, it's, like, weird to, like, come out and be like, take it from the top. And you just, like, step off this, like, little stage. And, you know. But that was. That was rough.

[Adam Carolla]

What's with the wasabi?

[Timmy no Breaks]

It's too hot. And this ginger stuff. What is this skin?

[Adam Carolla]

Gilligan's Island.

[Timmy no Breaks]

What the hell?

[Adam Carolla]

Ginger? Where's Marianne?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Oh, I'm on Gilligan's Island. Look at me, guys. What are we doing?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

I can use chopsticks.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, look at me. I'm using. Learn to use chopsticks. Just use a fork for your sushi. What are you doing, you piece of shit?

[Adam Carolla]

That's so fun.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That's what my friends and I, we used to, like, give each other challenges at, like, open mics. Because it's like, what's the point of, like, doing this open mic and stuff? And we do shit like that. It's like, you just have to, you know, be this character or whatever. And that's kind of what led to the Timmy, no breaks thing, was just like, Griffin, your friend gives you a. They're like, you have to do this. And then that's. That's what made open micing fun for me, it's just like being there with your friends and not just saying jokes into a void, but just riffing with some weird challenge.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's good. I feel like having. And it's funny. I've told a lot of comedians this, but they never listen. I go, you need to take a couple of Groundlings classes or some improv classes. It's better when you're doing a podcast, when you're being conversational. I cannot tell you, all the comedians maybe more tilts a little more in the women department where they just. You start riffing on a subject and they're like, no, no.

[Timmy no Breaks]

All that you have to do is.

[Adam Carolla]

I disagree. I disagree. But I disagree. I disagree. I disagree. And it's like, shut up, bitch. We're not going anywhere, by the way, because you fucking shooting down every fucking premise.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah. I think it's literally if they just. Just the yes and thing. If you just do that, you're, you know, you're in riff heaven.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't get it. They actually. Well, okay. A lot of comedians think they're being funny by disagreeing. And also, disagreement is where you go when you don't have anything funny to say. So a lot of them just disagree because they're not fast enough to come up with something to hang and to riff with you. And I would tell people all the time, like, you understand when you're disagreeing all the time, we're not going anywhere. We can't move forward with this subject. You know, And I wonder who's. I can't remember the comedian who's on here, but some people just disagree. I guess I'm an easy guy to disagree with because everyone will go, oh, no, no, no, no. Start shaking their head when I start talking. Except for I'm fucking right about everything all the time. And everything I say comes to fruition at some point, but everyone still disagrees. And I was going. I was saying, this guy. I go, look, all this baggage and weigh the bag, and it's £50 over. £50. You gotta pay for the bag on the airline. I said, you should just be one big package. We just weigh you. We weigh your bag. Why should women. Why should they subsidize men? Fat guys flying when they average 50 pounds higher? We're all just paying for. We. We're paying for Jet A. We're paying for. How much fuel does it cost to move you from here to Phoenix? Yeah. And big dudes are being subsidized by lightweight guy people. Who are in shape are subsidizing fat people. Yeah. And men are being subsidized by women because the average woman's 140 pounds and the average man is 200 pounds, and that's all getting rolled in. And the guy's like, well, how's that fair to women? I go, no, no, you don't understand what I'm saying. I'm saying women should pay less. Oh, well, women aren't gonna pay. Hold on. I'm not punishing women. I'm saying they pay less. If you weighed people, people figure out a way to game the system. I go, how do you game the system with your 51 pound back? How do you do that? They'd figure it out. At your own weight. Your own weight. He goes, I'll tell you how. People start putting weights in their pocket to weigh more. So they gave me. That makes you weigh more. Okay, whatever. And I'm like, oh, you're just disagreeing. That's all you're doing is just. You're just disagreeing at this point. Yeah, hold on. I wanna fill my pockets with sand before I step up there and take that handful and put it in my Samsonite. I'm gonna see if I can crack 400.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Like, what's in your suitcase?

[Adam Carolla]

It's just all. We could have gone somewhere, but instead I had to argue with him.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Interesting point. That is actually like a funny. Is that like a joke you do?

[Adam Carolla]

No, not anymore. No, no, no, no, it's not. It's just. I am. Here's how I think I just go, look, if you're basically paying for weight, why should everything be the same? Like when you go to one of those salad bars where you get all. Whatever they weigh your fucking bowl at the end, and you either pay 18 bucks or you pay 8 bucks. But. But why should everyone's bowl just be the same? Like the big fucking hefty bowl is gonna subsidize. You're subsidizing my hefty bowl with your $9 bowl? That's bullshit. Everyone just pay what you are.

[Timmy no Breaks]

It would help with the wage gap. It would help with the obesity crisis.

[Adam Carolla]

It would incentivize people to go, hey, you know, you go, hey, want another donut? I'm flying Monday. So, yeah, I can't.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I can't do it. I can't.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't fucking do it. And then it would also. There would be fit airlines. There'd be airlines that catered to fit people. And he was like, well, who's going to Use that. I'm like, I'll tell you who's going to use it to fit people who don't want to pay as much for a airline ticket. That's who's going to use it.

[Timmy no Breaks]

And they get first class. The fitter you are. Yeah, it's a.

[Adam Carolla]

And. And it's going to be all women's airline because for sure they. They're all going to pay less for their tickets. And I don't know. Yes. The way I think about everything. And by the way, when I think that way about stuff, everyone argues. It's a hate crime. You know, like, they argue with me all the time. And I'm like, but this is pro woman.

[Timmy no Breaks]

This is a pro woman point.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what I was saying to them.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I think they just. Yeah, I think they just maybe expect. They're like, what is I'm trying to say negatively about a woman here? He's like, no.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

They hear pro skinny. And they get weirded out. Like, everybody's beautiful, okay? It doesn't matter what it could be Frontier, could be Delta. Everybody's beautiful.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if you guys have experienced. I had this happen to me yesterday and drives me nuts. But the maid, the job of the maid, when the maid comes to the house. Now, you guys don't strike me as maid guys.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I'm a big maid man.

[Adam Carolla]

You're a maid man.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I have a maid come once every other week.

[Adam Carolla]

Every other week.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I'm not deep clean of a 1400 square foot apartment.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? So you got a maid.

[Timmy no Breaks]

All right, Maze, he's a guy.

[Adam Carolla]

You got a guy?

[Timmy no Breaks]

I got a guy. Rodrigo. I've never even met him.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Oh, yeah, Because I'm on the road so much. And I was like, okay, because you hate Mexicans.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Is that why?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Well, it was a choice. He's like, please meet me. Please, I really want to meet you. And I was like, no.

[Adam Carolla]

My beef with the maids is I do not mind them cleaning floors and toilets and sinks and everything else. I don't like the straightening up part. Now, if there's a sock on the floor in the middle of the room, pick it up, throw it in the hamper. I have a spare bedroom. I have a digital clock. And I face it toward the pillow. But when I take a nap, I look, I see what time it is, you know, take a nap. And I wake up, it's been a half hour. Okay, I'll get up. She thinks her job is to turn the clock so it faces the hallway and I cannot see it now then what happens is I then come into the bedroom and I go oh the maid was here and the reason I know the maid's here is cause they turned the clock. If you lay in bed you can't tell what time it is man. True Work Working outside in the springtime means you're dealing with all sorts of weather and TrueWerk has you covered with workwear that can handle all the conditions. While most workwear is made from cotton blends that get you soaked, TrueWerk uses advanced performance fabrics. I wear my T2 work pants no matter what the conditions are while I'm working outside. I wish they had these things back in the day when I did this 24. 7. They have four way stretch and are water resistant and have nine pockets so you can never going to lose that. Cell phone, wallet, keys and everything else. Everything's been tested by real trade pros so you know you're going to love it. I used to hate not having enough pockets for all my tools working outside so the T2 definitely comes in handy. This is high quality stuff that you deserve, especially if you work with your hands and you work outdoors. Am I right Dawson? The work doesn't stop just because the weather changes. Upgrade to the T2 work pant and stay comfortable no matter what the day brings. Get 15 off your first order at truework.com with code ACS. That's T-R-U-E-W-E-R-K.com code ACS True Work built like it matters, because it does. Morgan and Morgan I've known a few people have been hurt in accidents and it wasn't their fault and they tried to tough it out. No lawyers, no help. Just hoping the bills and the pain would magically sort themselves out. Spoiler alert, they don't. And that's where Morgan and Morgan comes in. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They've recovered more than $30 billion for over 500,000 clients. That's a serious track record. If you've been injured because someone else was negligent, you deserve to be paid. Don't try to white knuckle it alone. Reach out to Morgan and Morgan and let the pros fight for you. Right, Dawson? If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. Yes, that's right. Their fee is free unless they win. To learn more, go to forthepeople.com adam or click the link in the description below. To learn more, go to. For the people.com Adam or click the link in the description below. This is a paid advertisement.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Adam Carolla]

Whether it's a birthday trip, a family reunion, or just a fun getaway, booking a VRBO vacation rental means no worrying about surprises. VRBoCare and 24.7Life Support have your back if something's off. The Loved by Guest filter helps you

[Alicia Krause]

find top rated homes.

[Adam Carolla]

And verified reviews mean real feedback from real VRBO guests. So you know exactly what your booking Honestly, I just booked my VRBO cuz there was a sweet wine fridge. Hey, we all have our reasons. Don't walk into a surprise if you know you verbo terms apply. See vrbo.com trust for details. If you're up and walking around, you could tell what time it is. But if you lay in bed, you don't know what time it is because it's facing the wall. Not you need a.

[Timmy no Breaks]

You need a man made.

[Adam Carolla]

I put a sticker on it, a post on it, a post it on said do not touch it. Doesn't matter. She turns it forward every time. And then I turn it toward the thing. And then she turns it. Here's what I want to say to her. Who the fuck do you think is turning it toward the pillow? Do you think someone's breaking into my house the day before you come here and just in the clock 90 degrees. I'm turning it toward the pillow because that's where I want the clock. Why are you undoing it? And she'll put. Everybody open the drawer, Put the TV remote in the drawer. Put the drawer. Like you gotta show up and go, where the fuck's the TV remote? Right? Cause she's. Do not shuffle things around. Fucking clean your ass off. Do not. In the bathroom. The bathroom. Upstairs bathroom.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Really, really quick. Just a little suggestion.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes?

[Timmy no Breaks]

And this is gonna sound racist. I actually think it might like write it in Spanish.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't. I can't write do not touch. I could look it up. I could look it up.

[Timmy no Breaks]

You could look it up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I should do it anyways.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Upstairs bathroom.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, how do you say bitch in Spanish?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Pendejo. Pendejo. What is pendejo?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

You put a little accent over the c. That's how you do it.

[Adam Carolla]

So yesterday. So I go I figured out what. So I go, all right, I'm go. I'm getting. I'm getting my star in the walk of fame. And I go, all right, I'm getting it May 27th. And so I go, all right. So the other day, I go, about a week ago, I go, okay, I would like to lose a couple of pounds before the ceremony. I need to fucking go on a diet. So I took a piece of paper and I taped it to the bathroom mirror, and I just wrote, you fat fucking. You sick of me? I'm glad the airlines are gouging your fat ass.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Go put your. Your phone in a treadmill, you piece of.

[Adam Carolla]

With the earbuds.

[Timmy no Breaks]

What the hell?

[Adam Carolla]

So the guy's in the bathroom, he's using a towel.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

He's turning on the sink.

[Adam Carolla]

He's turning on the sink. Now he puts his socks on. Now he puts his shoes on. What's going on?

[Timmy no Breaks]

She keeps turning my clock.

[Adam Carolla]

So I go. I put up. I've got. I go, all right, get on that scale. Got the digital scale. You put your fucking weight up there one month out. Every morning you step on that scale, you write that number down on there. That's going to be the only way this is going to work. Because I'm just guessing or going, I'll take it easy on dessert or something. It's not going to work. I got to measure. I'll weigh myself every morning. And I'm just riding right next to it. So the things taped. It's a piece of notebook paper just taped to the mirror. And underneath it, there's a pen that I left on the counter because that's what I'm using. And of course, the maid came. And the next morning, I get up, pen's gone. So it's not in the drawer. It's not anywhere. There's a piece of paper with 19 different weights on it and a pen sitting directly under it. But she's got to take the pen and go march it downstairs and go put it somewhere. And I get. She's doing something. But can you. Can you make. There's a pen there because I put the pen there. Because I'm using the pen. And by the way, you will not get fired if I come home and there's a pen sitting there. But all this time could be spent on the fucking shitter. Get on that toilet. Hit that fucking toilet. Like, private pile and full metal jacket. Like, down on your knees with a fucking toothbrush. Like, get. Dedicate every second to you. Hiding my TV remote or turning my Clock or putting my pen somewhere. Do it all to the toilet. You know what I'm saying? Or the stove or the fucking fridge. Just dedicate to that shit. I'll handle the remote. I'll handle the pen. We think I'm gonna come home and go, jesus, fuck. What's this TV remote doing on the coffee table? This is a goddamn outrage. This is an outrage.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

This is an attack.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Take the pen and write some inspiration on that piece of paper. You can do it, jefe.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, that's a good maid would do.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Absolutely.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Be like, I believe in looking good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're beautiful just the way you are.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably start with yet you don't need. You don't need this to lose weight.

[Timmy no Breaks]

This is a great weight. Like, just, like, commenting like you're doing it.

[Adam Carolla]

You look like Olivia.

[Alicia Krause]

Wild.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Such good. Hey, don't worry about that hiccup right there.

[Adam Carolla]

Looks like Olivia Wilde on the red carpet, bro. Yeah, she'd probably do a deep reference.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Something timeless.

[Timmy no Breaks]

She's got amazing. She has a maid for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. So I don't.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That's a character. Motivational maid.

[Adam Carolla]

Motivational maid.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Got it. Got it.

[Adam Carolla]

I got the fucking opposite of the motivational maid. My motivational maid. My maid in the shower. I got the hand sprayer thing. She faces it directly at the door.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That's weird.

[Adam Carolla]

Eye height. And leaves the button pushed in. So I come home at night, you know, take a shower, and I want to warm it up, and I lean in and I turn it on, and it slaps me right in the fucking face. Right in the fucking face.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Damn, dude. She gave you a face shot.

[Adam Carolla]

And there's no. If there's anybody that questions me, I fucking filmed it. I came home after she's there, and I looked. I started to learn my lesson. I was like, oh, she fucking keeps the button pushed in and she puts it on the thing and she faces it directly at the door.

[Timmy no Breaks]

You have a security camera in your bathroom?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I come in. That's how I know she's been there.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Oh, I thought you said you filmed. You filmed.

[Adam Carolla]

I filmed it. It's on the fucking computer. I walked in one day and I was like, all right, everyone, enough. I'm blowing the lid off this shit. This is me. I don't know how to use a camera or anything, but I will show you what she did to me. But she does it every day. I have, by the way. I just walked into the bathroom. I didn't stage anything. I didn't touch anything. This is her Leaving the bathroom. My maid came today. She likes to play a little trick on me. Everyone thinks I'm nuts. But she cleans the shower out with the hand sprayer. And let's see if she did what she normally does to me, which is, before I take a shower, I like to heat up the water. So I like to lean in, turn it on, heat it up.

[Timmy no Breaks]

There it is.

[Adam Carolla]

And then get.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That's great.

[Adam Carolla]

To the shower. So let's see how this works. In the face with the button pushed in. Try it again. Puts it all the way to the top and faces it toward the door perfectly. That's what she does. Every fucking time. Every single time. By the way. She just hooks it back onto the sprayer rack. She could face it any direction she wants.

[Timmy no Breaks]

This might be malicious. I don't know. I'm telling you, this might be malicious.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the same with the clock. She sees the clock goes, not on my watch. And then I fucking turn it back. And then she turns it back. Is there any thought that she goes like, maybe that's how he likes his fucking clock. And by the way, it's like a spare bedroom. It's like where you'd go if you're taking a nap and someone else was in the other bedroom or something. It's like you lay in bed and you can wake up and see what time it is versus guessing what time it is.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

You and Skip Adele need to get the gang back together to catch a maid.

[Adam Carolla]

Catch a maid? Oh, God.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Catch a Maid. Is this a real thing?

[Adam Carolla]

Then we did a TV show called Catch a Contractor back in the day. Old tv. Well, it's not that old. It's a show I used to do.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Catch a Contractor.

[Adam Carolla]

He's referring to a Catch a Contractor show that I used to do where we busted bad contractors.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

It's like Catch a Predator but with contractors.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, that sounds like very satisfying to see.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah, it was. People liked that show. I didn't like. I mean, it's uncomfortable for me because I felt bad for the guys.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Did they deserve it?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they all.

[Timmy no Breaks]

How bad were they?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you what it is. They were bad. And there were shoddy contractors and they would bilk the homeowner and rip them off.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

But I felt like a progressive black female DA in a blue city. And you're talking about. I'd get some 17 year old black guy and like he bonked some Asian on top of the head on the bus. And I'd go, I know, but he had such a shitty Life. And I feel kind of. I know, but he hit that Asian lady on the head. I know, but half the guys I went to high school with did that too. And it's like, I. This guy's busted up and he doesn't know his dad. And like I. I wanted to parole them all. Like I was a. But they just get out and bonk another Asian lady, you know. But I was like, I feel bad for the young kid, you know, like. Cause I was a contractor, I knew flunky contractors and I knew who these guys were, you know, they drive beat up trucks. They're fucking barely getting by. They are kind of bullshit artists and shysters, but they're kind of like lovable drug addicts or something, you know. And everyone else was always outraged. And I was like, like, yeah, what

[Timmy no Breaks]

was your favorite one or what was the most egregious one?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we had one where it turned out about halfway into the episode that it was really the homeowners that were a piece of shit.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And that. And the contractor is actually decent.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Which was a. Which was a weird one. There are other guys. I'll tell you the only one. I'll tell you the one that really got me the most. And I don't know why we would have to go into these shit neighborhoods, you know. And this wasn't high end shit, you know what I mean? They weren't working on like Trump's Ballroom. Someone fucked up the Carrera marble. This is like deep inner city shit. Poor black family contractors, uncle, you know, fucked him over. And all I remember is we were in a real black neighborhood. And the reason I knew that is, cause when I walked around to the alley in the back, there was a big trash can and it was all filled with empty 2 liter bottles of Shaq's pineapple soda. And I'm like, I don't think this is the Jewish neighborhood. I think we're in the black neighborhood. A lot of spent pineapple soda containers meant black to me. So I did my little forensic work. So the whole.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That's a show, by the way. You know, trash.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I'll tell you who you are.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, this is who you are.

[Adam Carolla]

I wanted to do a game show where it was a parking lot filled with cars. We do name that race. That's awesome.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Because hour long episodes.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you who's driving what car. Yeah, yeah. That's easy.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That's fun. That's a fun game show.

[Adam Carolla]

So I was. But that story in that particular day was like in the hood In a really shitty, beat up little house. And the guy remodeled and fucked up a very small windowless bathroom. And when you do a TV show, it's like you're doing a TV show. Like, one time we're doing a man show bit, and it was a sitcom. Maybe you can find it, Andrew. Jimmy was my penis. It was a sitcom and it was me living with my penis, which was Jimmy, who's in a full size foam rubber penis outfit. And like, we'd be doing like, take number seven or something. And like, some point I'd look and Jimmy's sweating his ass off, and he's like, I gotta get the fuck out of this penis outfit. Fucking dying in here, you know? And so you think it's funny, but you're still suffering. You're still suffering. You know, like I always say, like when they make a movie, Sylvester Stallone's in a swamp. He's in a swamp. I mean, that's what he did that day. He stood in a swamp. You know, he's got a bathrobe over there and a hot tub to get in. But while he's there, he's there, you

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

know, Leo's in that cold river. He deserves that Oscar.

[Adam Carolla]

And we were in this miniature bathroom, and it was windowless and it was in like the ghetto. And it was the contractor with the bad breath, you know, and the bad hygiene. And then Skip was like a big mountain. But you also got the camera guy in there, too. And we're all stuffed into this windowless bathroom. And I'm like going, you know, you didn't hot mop it then. You didn't use Red Guard on there, and you didn't use Wonderboard. You just used laugh. And you put the towel, you know, whatever. I was yelling, skip, yelling. Everyone's like yelling at each other. The homeowner's in there yelling, it's a bathroom. It's like four foot by four foot. There's like six smelly people in there and it's fucking hotter and shit. I'm like, God damn, it's miserable. But what made it really miserable is that day, my wife at the time, her friend, and my kids, who were like seven, were going to Catalina for the day to go ziplining. And I kept picturing them in Catalina with the sea breeze blowing and all the nice white people on a zipline going through the air. And I realized that's the exact opposite of me trapped in this coffin with these five guys filming all day. And then I realized, oh, that's their life. And this is my life. Like, that's the metaphor. That's. That's what this is. And people go, when are you going to retire? And I'd go, when I can afford to live like them.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, they live like that. I don't. You think I'm the celebrity? I'm in a fucking bathroom at South Central. The Duke contractor in a fucking shack bottle. You know what I mean? I'm not living that fucking life at all. I'm eating fucking a sandwich on the porch with this guy with flies buzzing around, and you guys are at a cafe and Catalina getting ready for the next zipline excursion. Yeah. Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Well, they were probably at Catalina going, you know where we wish we were right now? In a bathroom in South Central with dad. That's where we wanted to be.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I got a hankering for pineapple soda. None on the island. You're shit out of luck. All we got is mimosas.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

All we got is real pineapples.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Do you say Shaq's Pineapple Soda butter?

[Adam Carolla]

Shaq. I literally had to look it up the other day.

[Timmy no Breaks]

It's Shaquille o'.

[Alicia Krause]

Neal.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Because I was sitting around and I was like. I was making a joke. And it was the Mandamen was doing his free. Free supermarkets in the hood, you know, and he was. They had like a. Pushing the cart, and they're showing, like, carrots and vegetables and cat whole heads of cabbage and tomatoes. I was like, that's what. That's not what's going in that cart. It's going to be full of fucking Shack Pineapple Soda. That's what it's going to be full of. And then I was thinking to myself, wait, is that even it? Am I making like, this thing's 10 years old? Like, am I making that up? Shaq soda. Shaq made pineapple soda. Now Shaq's like, how do I poison more black people? I don't want anyone being as tall as me.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I'm sure it was not the help.

[Adam Carolla]

If you find it, you find the penis and Jimmy.

[Timmy no Breaks]

But yeah, also, what was it called?

[Adam Carolla]

Shaq's.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Shaq's Pineapple Soda.

[Adam Carolla]

Shaq's Pineapple Soda?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What's with this soda? This is me and Jimmy. And Jimmy becomes my penis. And that's all I remember. I. I've never seen this bit since. This is a clip from a brand new show. And I think you're going to like. Best friends from the start and live in the parts. Cause two heads are better than one.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Nice.

[Adam Carolla]

You tell her, Prima Donna, Adam. Carolla said so. All right, you tell her. I don't care. That's right, tell her. How many is that? What do you care? You're not my mommy. No, I'm your penis. And your drinking affects me. Oh, hey, hey. Kathy Griffin. Kathy, I want to introduce you to my Penis. Penis. This is Kathy. Kathy Penis. Yeah, we've already met. You two know each other? Yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

Remember that acting workshop about 10 years ago?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

What are you wearing? Are you Neo from the Matrix? What the hell is this?

[Adam Carolla]

Are they dressed in 2000? Ride home? Yeah, that'd be great.

[Alicia Krause]

Let me get my purse.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Good times. What the hell are you doing? Listen, don't play stupid, buddy. This is the part where we get laid, remember?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, yeah, I do remember.

[Adam Carolla]

I also remember the penicillin shots. No way. I'm going back in there. Oh, my. What's up, Stretch? See what's going on. What's next? What?

[Timmy no Breaks]

The

[Adam Carolla]

home. Remember her? Oh, yeah, from that acting class.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

She did that thing with the.

[Adam Carolla]

What are we waiting for? All right, we're gonna have to watch all that we did. I forgot if we did a bit. Anyway, Jimmy is like. We do, like, another. The lights are hot in there and stuff. And Jimmy's like, I gotta get out of this fucking penis outfit. It's killing me.

[Timmy no Breaks]

It's killing me.

[Adam Carolla]

They're going, there's one more take. Oh, my God. Shaq's Pineapple Soda. So you just put on the screen. Cause I just looked it up on my phone. I was like, oh, yeah, he made pineapple soda. He doesn't make it. It anymore because I guess too busy

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

with the pizza companies and the bad insurance companies.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Part of me is, like, surprised it didn't do, like, you know, endure.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we'll find a picture of Shaq's Pineapple soda, and we'll put it up, and you'll see he did probably more than. He probably had a punch, like a fruit punch and a whatever.

[Timmy no Breaks]

When he was in movies. Dude, did you ever see Steel? What was it?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, where he's like a superhero.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Superhero. So I just remember at the end, like, for the big, like, fight scene. So, like, there was this one girl in the crew who was in a wheelchair, and they strapped, like, rockets to her wheelchair or something like that, and she's just in a wheelchair. Like, in all this shit is shooting out of it. People are flying in the air.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Crazy. Had a rap career, too. Fooshnik?

[Timmy no Breaks]

Oh, yeah, I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't remember his name. Shaq's pineapple soda. Here we go. I just put it up there because it's right on the Internet there, I think. I mean, if I can find it, I think anyone can find it.

[Timmy no Breaks]

We got it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I wonder if you could still buy it. People have it as like a relic or something. Oh my God. That's not what I thought it would look like.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, no, I said two liter bottle. There's two liter bottles of it. But. But yeah, you know. Yeah, find me a bottle.

[Timmy no Breaks]

What are those flavors?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Cream soda.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, sorry. Cream. It's whatever will kill black people the fastest is what he. One is just called cherry, one is just called grape, one's called Gleezo. This is called strychnine. It's just literally. We can cut out this facade here. Let's not play games. You can sit around, drink this for 10 years, or we can just end it right now.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Red fort.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, Pineapple soda. By the way, it's literally just you going, I love fucking sugar. It's not like I like the taste of pineapple. I guarantee there's no pineapple in the pineapple soda.

[Timmy no Breaks]

It's just, it's not all natural shank.

[Adam Carolla]

It's just like if you went to any dietician and just went like, look, here's what I do. I eat a whole pie before I go to bed every night.

[Timmy no Breaks]

I drink vodka and a pumpkin.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll use an IV and I'll just put sugar water in it so I can get sugar while I'm asleep. He'd go, all right, and I drink pineapple. You gotta cut that shit out right away.

[Timmy no Breaks]

That pineapple soda, I shoot up some heroin. Fine, drink some pineapple.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all. Look, we can, we can deal with that. But the pineapple soda, yeah, that is just. That's the way you would make yourself fat. Like if you were trying to make yourself fat. You do it. All right, let's get the flavors. What is the flavors there then? Now these are just like the 16 ounce cans, but I, I found them in the 2 liter pot.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Wait, wait. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Or you can tell us.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Vanilla cream.

[Adam Carolla]

Vanilla cream.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Oh my God. Blueberry.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Blueberry cream soda.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Strawberry cream, Orange cream. So I don't even have the pineapple one. What was. Do you remember his face?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's on. It's a bottle, it's a 2 liter bottle of pineapple soda. Because I remember it all piled up in the trash can.

[Timmy no Breaks]

What was the name?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let him find. Let him find this. Because I looked it up, I think, and found this, that he has it. Oh, my God. Dude, it was full of that shit. Yeah. Cause the Jews live there. Yeah.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Shaq. Yeah. It's really like, I think it's a inside job.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody had to say, shaq, come on, man, you got enough money. This is poisoning. Like, you're literally poisoning your community.

[Timmy no Breaks]

He's like, but the design is so. It looks like it was made in ChatGPT.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Somebody's just using his likeness to make it now.

[Adam Carolla]

It's discontinued. This is continued. But I know a guy.

[Timmy no Breaks]

This is like Kool Aid if you

[Adam Carolla]

got enough cash, because this is like

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

a stockpile of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, there's a market for, like, early Jordan tennis shoes and stuff like that. There's always a market for the nostalgia stuff. All right, we will take ourselves break. We'll come back. We'll do the news right after this. Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, yeah. What's O'Reilly do? Well, they keep your car on the road. That's their job. There are not many car issues that I can't figure out, but if I'm ever stumped, I always go to O'Reilly immediately. They've got thousands of parts in stock, either in store or online, so you have to worry if you're in a jam. They'll also test your battery for free. And if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. Whether you're a car aficionado or you're an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It's O'Reilly, right? Dawson, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us@O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam at first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free. Truth is, it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe Arrow, the 100, and the X Files may cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay. Never. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Adam, I hope your old buddies from your high school and youth days. See your Hollywood star and gather around it. And then they all peed on it one more time to remind you of the golden days with one last golden shower. Congrats, ace. Well deserved. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. I'll tell you, Bullet, you don't dodged homeschooling is not getting peed on by your friends. Yeah, that's a bullet dodge. That is, I guess, pretty good argument for homeschooling.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Chris and Ray won't pee on you during class time. Yeah, yeah, that's a selling point.

[Alicia Krause]

Also maybe like dating one person and then marrying that one person instead of like meeting some weirdos that are into that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I mean, like peeing on people

[Alicia Krause]

like you go on a date with a guy. To be fair, I've heard some horror stories from my girlfriends to my friends.

[Adam Carolla]

Nobody was only. What they were into is maximum pain and humiliation for others. So they weren't into peeing like a fetish. They were into peeing because it fucked you up the most. That's why my friends did it. They did whatever was the maximum pain to you. You know what I mean?

[Alicia Krause]

So that's you gonna invite him to come pee on your Star and be like, ha ha, suckers.

[Adam Carolla]

At my 10 year reunion, Ray peed on me in the bathroom with the old spaghetti factory. He peed on me in the bathroom. And I just went, What? It's been 10 years. And he's like, old times. And I was like, well, he's got a point. All right, good news. Yes.

[Alicia Krause]

If they did that on the Star, they could get away with it. With Karen Bass as mayor, like, I don't know, did the police even like arrest for indecent exposure and stuff anymore?

[Adam Carolla]

One of my I know this city undone clips. There were clips. They're meaningful clips. There's that clip of Nancy Pelosi during the summer love when people were tearing down statues and they were like, do you think people should have permits? People are gonna do what they're gonna do. I'm like, boy, I guess it's a fucking free for all now. These are lawmakers. Mobs are tearing down statues. And your answer is people are gonna do what they're gonna do. And the Los Angeles Police commissioner was leaving a fancy restaurant. This is eight or 10 years ago. And he's like, people are taking pickaxes and smashing Trump's star. And he's like, what are you gonna do? And it's like, oh, okay. So we're Lawless. That's awesome.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah. Turns out broken windows theory is a real thing, guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alicia Krause]

And speaking of the city of Los Angeles that we hope to make great again, President Donald Trump is wanting to make Los Angeles great again, too. We have video of him. I don't know if I'd straight up say this is an endorsement, but this is how online people are reading it. We'll take a look.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you see yourself in him at all? A former reality TV star. I'd like to see him do well. He's a character. I don't know. I don't know him. I assume he probably supports me. Does he support me? I think so. I think so, Yeah. I heard he does. I heard he's a big maga person. He's doing well. I don't know. You have a rigged vote out there. That's the problem. The votes are rigged. You have a really rigged vote in California. You have all the mail in ballots, everything else very hard to win because the elections are very dishonest. If we had Jesus Christ come down and count the votes, I would have won California because I do great with Hispanics. But it's a rigged vote. They send out 38 million votes. Nobody knows where they're going. Of course the Democrats, I guess, but disproportionately, Democrats get many more votes. Some get eight votes. They get eight cards and Republicans have to call in. Where's my card? It's a rigged system. One of the most, not the worst. I'll give you a list. Maybe I'll do my list. But it's California's one of the most dishonest states for voting.

[Alicia Krause]

Okay, can I. Can I disagree with the President here for a little bit?

[Adam Carolla]

Go ahead.

[Alicia Krause]

The data of how our election system works here is the antithetical to what he literally just spewed. It is not true. The ability to mail in makes it easier for Republicans. Statistically, we are outnumbered in this state. Just when it comes to registration, there are more no party preference registered voters than there are Republicans in the state.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, I didn't know that.

[Alicia Krause]

Right. So, like Republicans like myself have an uphill climb whenever it comes to getting out the vote and somebody with an R running after their name. I mean, we talked about this earlier in the week about how the jungle primary system has been locking out Republicans for a really long time. So if he's talking about that, sure. But if he's talking about Republicans not getting their ballot and Democrats getting eight ballots, that statistically it's not true. And unfortunately, that suppresses Republican voters in this state that we need. We need every single one of them.

[Adam Carolla]

Was that his endorsement for Spencer Pratt?

[Alicia Krause]

So Nithya Raman is taking this as an endorsement.

[Adam Carolla]

Endorsement.

[Alicia Krause]

She, she, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Did not sound like an endorsement of Pratt.

[Alicia Krause]

Right. So she of course, like highlighted the part that says, I hear. Heard he's a big MAGA person. And to which Spencer, I mean, he's already responded this week and he had this kind of funny gif of being like, who? Okay. He said, yeah, I'm a registered Republican, but I'm not like maga. I'm not like Donald Trump. I'm not like Mom Donnie. It's so interesting how like all of the media tries to like, apply a label to him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

Instead of just letting him be him.

[Adam Carolla]

California is so full of wackadoodles that their progressive Democrats run on, I'm gonna abolish ICE and I'm gonna do all this shit that you don't want them to do. And then they look at the other side and they go, he wants a stout border. He's pro ICE and he's pro law enforcement. Like, yeah. He doesn't like big unions either. Okay. Like, it's weird. Well, we remember that ad they ran two weeks ago when they were like,

[Alicia Krause]

he doesn't want your taxpayer dollars to pay for homeless housing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. He doesn't want to get boob jobs for illegals that are living on the street with your tax dollars. It's like, yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

And new teeth for meth heads.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But it's, it's all, yes. And it's, you know, boys competing in girls sports. And by the way, sorry, you got more on this?

[Alicia Krause]

Well, not on this specific one.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, andithia's got a she.

[Alicia Krause]

She just was like doubling down on this. She's also been saying that he said that he's going to leave LA if he doesn't win.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Alicia Krause]

And I feel like this is.

[Adam Carolla]

He told me that. Yes.

[Alicia Krause]

But, but really, I don't believe it. I mean, he said like, no, I'm not gonna leave la. I'm gonna like, fight for la. I'm gonna be mayor. He's talked about, I've heard him talk about how his wife wants to leave.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, he's been flip flopping, but I have too. I've been talking about leaving LA for 10 years. So you got a lot of our

[Alicia Krause]

good friends that are trying to tug you to Florida.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'd like to get out.

[Alicia Krause]

Shout out Dave Rubin and Ben Shapiro.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'd like to get out as well, he's got deep roots here. He told me he wanted to leave if he didn't win. He said there's nothing here for him. Also, I mean, let's be honest. Four more years of Karen Bass and or Nithya Raman. I mean, that just sounds hellish. I mean, I feel like we're already at the bottom. I don't know how much lower we'd get with Nithya and Karen Bass. Yeah, except for we're not going up. We're gonna start going subterranean with those two imbeciles, so.

[Alicia Krause]

But that's why I get a little pissed off at the president when he's like, oh, the vote's rigged. Because then that literally suppresses people like moderates, libertarians, independents, Republicans that see a candidate that they like, and they're like, well, okay, what's the point? The point is that you can actually impact and make change if you get your butt the off couch and go vote.

[Adam Carolla]

Good message. What's next?

[Alicia Krause]

Next message is, apparently if you're an American Zionist like myself or an ICE officer, there's a Democratic candidate in Texas for you. No. Except not. She wants to put us in internment camps. Yeah, but Republicans are the Nazis. She won the most votes in the primary there in Democratic congressional district of Texas's 35th. And if you're an American who supports Israel, this is from our friends over at not the Beast. It's the Texas concentration camp for you. According to the San Antonio current Scheele, turn Karn's ICE detention center into a prison for American Zionists and former ICE officers for human trafficking.

[Adam Carolla]

This ICE officer thing is totally and utterly insane. I mean, so is the Zionist part, but I'm saying, like, first off, they're going like, we gotta abolish ice. Okay, so we're not gonna have any more Immigration and Border and Customs. We're just gonna be wide. What do you say?

[Alicia Krause]

Well, Talarico says that the border is not supposed to be a wall. It's supposed to be a front porch.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Right. So we're gonna abolish ICE if we don't have enough fentanyl and drug cartels in from Mexico and whatever. Okay, Human trafficking and. Fine, abolish ice. And then this thing about these rogue officers. Nobody's a rogue officer. You can make some nips and some tucks and some tweaks around ice, and there can be some policy changes and modifications, but this thing of, like, first off, these dumb shits were talking about abolishing the police 10 minutes ago. That blew up in their face. And they moved on to abolishing ice. That's thing. All right. I'm telling you, women are scared. She's scaring me. She's so happy with her vote.

[Alicia Krause]

But she was a sex therapist.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, boy.

[Alicia Krause]

She's a sex therapist and Democratic candidate

[Adam Carolla]

for Congress, and she's gonna put ICE in the facility.

[Alicia Krause]

This. I'm doubling down on my why Republicans in California need to vote. That's a district in Texas, guys. You used to think Texas was safe.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep.

[Alicia Krause]

You used to think Florida was safe. You used to think Arizona is safe. Nowhere is safe if you don't get involved.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alicia Krause]

Okay, I'm getting off my soapbox now.

[Adam Carolla]

The whole ICE thing is so insane. It's just men and women who work, who enforce laws that Congress passes. Like, what's the. What are you even talking about?

[Alicia Krause]

They're nice.

[Adam Carolla]

They're nice.

[Alicia Krause]

We just need to, like, buy a whole bunch of those nice jackets and send them out, give them to those IFAS officers we see in MacArthur Park.

[Adam Carolla]

I got two of them. All right, what else you got?

[Alicia Krause]

All right, back here to California News, A homeless man apparently moved across the country to California to be homeless.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this is.

[Alicia Krause]

This is exposed by a user called Wall Street Apes on X. And he talked about to this homeless guy about how he specifically moved here. And this is something that Pratt and, like, Hilton have talked about, too. It's like how a lot of the homeless people here move here, one, because the weather's nice, and two, because the government that enables them with, like, all of the benefits and stuff that they do. So we have the California Democrats apparently pay them to be homeless. The homeless problem, of course, never gets solved. And then they can justify repeating this process to the NGOs that we've talked about that get all of this money that then register voters and keep homeless people here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Okay, I'll tell you where people kind of lost the thread. And we have a graph, Andrew, that you put on my, like, tweets there about where the homeless people are from. Which actually a good time to investigate that. Cause I looked at it, and I've counted it up. Up. Counted up the squares last night as I was looking at this graph that somebody tweeted me. There is a problem that Democrats have, but it's a problem that all politicians have, but it's mostly Democrats, which is they don't understand unintended consequences. And to understand unintended consequences, you have to then understand human nature. So it's like if you have a state and human Nature isn't bad, isn't good, it isn't evil. It's a kind of path of least resistance. Like if you go, well, everyone wants to park outside of the Costco on a crowded Saturday, wants to have one of those empty handicap spaces in the front of the Costco. Or you, you're circling the parking lot, parking two acres away, looking for an open spot. Got these sweet open spots right up front. But you're not handicapped. Right, but the guy's got a handicap. But you know a doctor, and the doctor explains to you that, you know, technically with your arthritic hip, you would fall under the heading of Americans with disabilities. And I could get you a placard and then you go, okay, I mean, my hip's not that bad, but it would be sweet to park right out front. So you take the placard from your doctor, because wouldn't it be sweet to just park out front and your hips a little bit stiff? But then at some point, your 19 year old son is making a Costco run and he plays on the water polo team at usc and he's leaving and he's saying, it's gonna be a zoo out there today because it's the weekend before the Fourth of July. And you go, take the placard, it's

[Alicia Krause]

in the glove compartment.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you an evil person? No. You just kind of playing the system and kind of going along. Are you a criminal? Should you be locked up? No. You're just a human being who understands forces and things that sort of draw and things that repel and you're just gonna go with the flow. And that's your son. And yeah, he's super healthy, but why not? Other people are doing it too. And that's the way humans roll. So if you're gonna create an incentive, like if you're gonna say, this is a sanctuary city, we don't prosecute illegals here, we help. Well, guess who's gonna get more illegals? I mean, that's just how humans work. Everybody, everybody who grew up in a certain state will do a thing where they'll go, well, we grew up in this state, but the state right next to ours had no sales tax. So we'd always head over to Idaho, make our purchases, and then come back to the state we lived in. In or whatever it was. Who are they? Criminals? Al Capone? Not really. Just people are going to save. They're going to drive an extra two miles and save the sales tax. Every guy I grew up, every guy I talked to grew up in One of these states too. They're like, well, the drinking age was 21 where we were from. But if you want to cross.

[Alicia Krause]

My husband used to go to Canada.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to cross the border? It was eight, so we used to go, okay, who are they? Criminals or they just being incentivized to do this thing? Your kid. Oh, is he on the spectrum of down syndrome? No. How about 1800 bucks a month? Yes. Okay, that's it. That's all we are. That's all we are. So learn it, would you bitches? The Democrats don't understand that component of life. Life. You are. You, you do, you do. Rent control. People get a sweet rental on the west side, well below market price and they die in that apartment. They never buy their own place. They're not incentivized. It's all incentive. It's all dogs at the airport.

[Alicia Krause]

This is the same argument that like Star Parker being a love. I mean, economists obviously have been saying, Thomas had been saying for like a really long time of this is why the welfare system broadly actually holds people.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alicia Krause]

It hurts single mothers at this level of, well, you can't get the food stamps, you can't get the assistance if you make more than X amount of money. So guess what they do? They end up trying not to make any more money. Or they do it under the table

[Adam Carolla]

and they have, they get paid for each kid, but if they're married, they don't. So yes, you've incentivized them and, and then you've destroyed a culture.

[Alicia Krause]

It's a failure.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely no further than Chris Carolla. When I was nine, I told my mom, get a job, man, so we could get something. So I get job, I'll lose my welfare.

[Alicia Krause]

Yep, great.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on, mom, let me write that down. Where's my scribe? That's awesome.

[Alicia Krause]

Wife's wisdom from your mother. So this is interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

It was my fault for talking to her. To be fair. Yeah. Let's blow this graph up. So I, I counted these boxes last night when I was sitting at home. So it's more than half of LA's homeless are not from LA.

[Alicia Krause]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so there's LA City. By the way, homeless aren't that mobile. They shouldn't be. But they're figuring out a way the LA City, it's a graph with colored boxes. LA City accounts for, I think just eight, basically of, let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4.

[Alicia Krause]

I think it's around 47% from LA City and LA County.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right in County. I mean, by the way, the County's the same way. County's big. They come to the city where the getting's good, but. Okay. And then from elsewhere, it's rest of California, smaller group. And then out of state is the biggest group. Out of state is the biggest group of homeless. So we have. Have homeless people coming from out of state. And also the rest of the world comprises a decent. The boxes for the rest of the world are equal to the rest of California.

[Alicia Krause]

That's crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

That's crazy, right?

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah. Well. And then. Well, I guess I'm gonna say something that slightly, I don't know, might piss some people off, but when you're next to a border that isn't protected.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Alicia Krause]

When they say rest of the world, where do you think those people are from?

[Adam Carolla]

It should be a porch where no human's illegal, by the way.

[Alicia Krause]

Do you know that no one is illegal on stolen land? That's what Billie Eilish said.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. All right, so we have a bunch of people here out of state and out of the country that we need to tend to because of our horrible policies which attract people to come here. Fucking idiots making the policies.

[Alicia Krause]

Speaking of those policies, we have video of this guy up in San Francisco being asked like, hey, how long you been here? And kind of like, why did you come here?

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Alicia Krause]

I can't help but feel sorry for this guy with the face tattoos and in need of a shower and clearly mental health help. This is insane.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's. Where are you from? Louisiana. Texas area. How long you been San Francisco? Since June. If you're gonna be homeless, it's pretty easy here. I mean, if we're gonna be realistic. They pay you to be homeless here.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

When you said that San Francisco pays

[Adam Carolla]

people to be homeless, what did you mean by that?

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

You mean that literally? Yeah, I mean, I get 620 bucks

[Adam Carolla]

a month, dude, from general assistance.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Or would you.

[Adam Carolla]

How was that Hard to get call, bro. A fucking phone call.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

200 food stamps and 620 bucks cash a month.

[Adam Carolla]

Forget about it. Why wouldn't I? Do you know what's weird? Just pause it for a second. You know what's weird about crazy people? They oftentimes articulate themselves very well, like they're insane. And they'll be talking about flat earth or something, and they'll go, yeah, the prime meridian. And Spain. Spain is nowhere near the prime meridian. Spain, the capital, Spain. And they start prattling off stuff, and there's more than 1722 people that have said flat earth died. And they start rattling off names and stuff. And it's like, I'm always like, how nuts are you?

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah. If you can have all these numbers and information in your head. This guy seems capable. Cleaned up to get a job.

[Adam Carolla]

He didn't go like, say to me, how much money do you get from San Francisco?

[Alicia Krause]

How much money do you get from the city of San Francisco?

[Adam Carolla]

It's either 600 or 6 kajillion. I don't know, man. Are you gonna finish that cigarette? That's what real insane. He goes 620, 200. Footsteps. He's prattling off numbers.

[Alicia Krause]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's do it one more time. Let's see. Go back. Back for a second. Let's see. I know. I feel like he's employable if he had to be.

[Alicia Krause]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Also, he has exotic facial hair, which seems tough to maintain on the street, but go ahead. Maybe that's why they're locking up the razors. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

When you said that San Francisco pays

[Adam Carolla]

people to be homeless, what did you mean by that? You mean that literally? Yeah, I mean, I get 620 bucks a month, dude.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

General assistance, or would you.

[Adam Carolla]

How was that hard to get? Phone call, bro.

[Podcast Host/Interviewer]

Phone call, 200 food stamps, and 620

[Adam Carolla]

bucks cash a month. Wow. Forget about it. Why wouldn't I do? You know, it's free money, dude. This right now is. Is literally by choice. Literally by choice. Like, why would I want to pay rent? I'm not doing. I got a cell phone that I have Amazon prime and Netflix on. Told us this morning, like, oh, it'd be easier if you guys packed up in the morning. We wouldn't have to come out here. And I'm like, what are you talking about? He's like, oh, okay. And then went on, I should have interviewed him. You got Netflix? Yeah. Watch that Kevin Hart roast.

[Alicia Krause]

I wrote one of those jokes, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, Jeff Ross. Come on, he's a roast man. Look him up. Yeah. Jesus Christ. We've. We've crossed a Rubicon.

[Alicia Krause]

That guy watches more Netflix and Amazon prime than you and I have time to.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we gotta pay taxes, you know, so we gotta work real hard, you know.

[Alicia Krause]

He doesn't gotta pay for that expensive diesel here in the state of California to pay taxes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Diesel, man. People used that. My stepdad had a diesel Oldsmobile because diesel was cheaper back in the day.

[Alicia Krause]

Not anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

And it. And it got a little better gas mileage, too. Although it was weird driving a Diesel in the 80s. Although my uncle Vince Bruno and his wife Pat had a Diesel Rabbit. Like, you want to talk about the slowest car 0 to 60 ever created a diesel Rabbit. They must have. Volkswagen must have made a diesel Rabbit for like four years or six years. It was weird. And then no mocks. No. And they were real winter couple. You know, when you're a kid, everything's kind of normal, but then you get older and you go, what the fuck? They were a middle aged couple that just shared a car. They had one car. They're middle aged couple who just had one car. And it'd be like, hey, Vince, why don't you come out to North Hollywood? Yeah, Pat's got the car. Car.

[Alicia Krause]

Were they cheap?

[Adam Carolla]

You're 57. Everyone in my family was exquisitely cheap and had no concept.

[Alicia Krause]

Like, so even if that were to happen today and you were like, hey, come to my show, North Hollywood. He wouldn't take an Uber. Where is he still alive?

[Adam Carolla]

Like, no, he was that cheap.

[Alicia Krause]

So it was a, it was a financial decision.

[Adam Carolla]

They were weird, controlling. They were weirdo cheap. And they didn't recognize any. Like, even later I would talk to my dad. Like, Vince Bruno never had a career, you know, didn't really have a job. What do you mean he didn't have a job? He worked at the Moose Lodge. He dealt peanut on Saturday nights. Yeah, that's not dad, that's not a career. He had a job. He worked for.

[Alicia Krause]

I thought Vince would have liked that. 220 bucks a month.

[Adam Carolla]

Worked at the Moose Lodge dealing cards on Saturday night. But that's. My dad didn't understand that wasn't a career. That's why you have one diesel Rabbit. Because he doesn't have a job.

[Alicia Krause]

By that standard, my 12 year old has a career.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Elan Pinochle at the Moose Lodge. All right, this Sunday, Costa Mesa, Westwood coast is where I'm gonna be doing two shows. Then there's June 12th, Oklahoma City. And then there's June 13th, Oklahoma City. Oh, sorry, Tulsa. Sorry, Oklahoma. But Tulsa. Both at Bricktown Comedy Club. Club Santa Ana. We're doing the Kroc. We're doing the Kroc screening at the Family Classic Cars over there. What do you got? Alicia Crouse.

[Alicia Krause]

Oh, just check me out on your TV and Instagram and over at the Daily Wire.

[Adam Carolla]

So till next time, Adam Kroll for Timmy, no breaks. And Rudy and Alicia Krause saying mahalo.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Pick up your phone and leave us

[Adam Carolla]

a voicemail at 888-634 and get your tickets to see Adam Corolla at AdamCorola.com. At first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free.

[Alicia Krause]

Truth, isn't it?

[Adam Carolla]

It's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe Arrow, the 100 and the X Files May cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV Stream now pay.

[Alicia Krause]

Never get a jump on next summer

[Adam Carolla]

with vrbo's early booking deals. Don't wait to claim your dream summer spot, whether that includes a good porch swing or a poolside lounge.

[Alicia Krause]

Lounger.

[Timmy no Breaks]

When you book early, you get the

[Alicia Krause]

best places at the best prices. But back to poolside loungers.

[Adam Carolla]

With vrbo, you don't have to reserve any loungers.

[Alicia Krause]

They're all yours.

[Timmy no Breaks]

In fact, the whole private home is yours. Book with early booking deals and you can lounge around all summer long.

[Adam Carolla]

However you please.

[Timmy no Breaks]

Book with vrbo.

[Adam Carolla]

At first I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free. The truth is that it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe Arrow, the 100 and the X Files May cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV Stream Now Pay Never.