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Adam Carolla
Well, in this episode, comedian Ryan Sickler joins us, comedian Gary Cannon joins us and Alicia Krause has the news. We'll do all that right after this. The Ace man's back in Boston at the Wilbur theater on Thursday, November 6, then Friday, November 7 in Buffalo, New York at Electric City on Saturday. He's down in Duluth, Georgia appearing with Megyn Kelly at Gas South Arena. Get tickets for these shows and more at adam adam carolla.com bad online hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Football season is in full swing. So is the NBA. They're off to a run and start. There's no better place to get in on the action than BetOnline, your number one source for all things sports and casino. Betonline gives you more ways to play with with the latest odds, breaking news, live scores and in game betting so you never miss a moment. From every NFL and college matchup, NBA tip off to the excitement of the UFC fights and NHL futures. It's all there. Betonline keeps you locked in to the action all year long. And when it's time to switch gears, dive into Betonline Casino packed with hundreds of the hottest slots, club classic table games, live dealers with massive jackpots, plus don't forget our VIP program with exclusive level up bonuses, weekly cash boosts and rewards designed for serious players. Head to BetOnline today. That's BetOnline. The game starts here. Strawberry Me let's talk careers for a second. We all gotta have a job, but what you really want is a career. Something that makes you feel like you're actually building something, not just clocking in and clocking out. I talked to Vincent over at Strawberry. Great guy by the way. First rate people over there. Super nice, smart, and they actually care about helping you move forward. I know that firsthand because I talked to Vincent over there. Strawberry Me helps you go from stuck at work to feeling good about what you do. They'll match you with a career coach who gets your goals. You take a quick quiz and bam, you're on your way. They'll help you figure out what you want, what you're worth and how to get there. Whether that's negotiating better pay, finding a new gig, or finally moving into something you you care about. Head to Strawberry Me ACS to get 50% off your first week. It's your career. Take care of it. That's Strawberry Me acs. Stop settling. Start building the career you actually want. From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla show Adam's guest today, comedians Ryan Sickler and Gary Cannon. Plus the news with Alicia Crouse. And now he's about to snap about all the liberals whining about snap. Adam Carolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get on. No choice. We're gonna mandate you get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. Ryan Sickler, back on the show, he's got tour dates, he's got a special, he's got a podcast. He's got it all. And I think you should go. The special is called Live and Alive, and that's out. So we speak to YouTube on YouTube podcasts, the Honeydew, and then also live dates. You go to ryancickler.com for all the live stuff.
Gary Cannon
Thank you, brother. It's good to be back.
Adam Carolla
Good to see you.
Gary Cannon
You've done all the shows, actually, the way back as well. You've done. You had a great one about growing up in the Valley.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I just ran into my old foreman boss partner guy, Tom Johnson. Came out to a comedy show I did the other night.
Gary Cannon
Did you know he was coming?
Adam Carolla
No, no. I'm glad I didn't. I mean, not that I, you know, I wouldn't get jittery, but I was more pleasantly surprised just to run into him in the lobby and sort of hearken back to those days. It's also interesting how people remember stuff.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, I find that weird, too. Like there are people. I have a very good memory, at least I think so, compared to when I sit across and people are like, how do you remember that from your childhood? I feel like you have that as well. But there will be people. I just connected with an old friend of mine, Aileen Anderson, known her since kindergarten. She and her husband, boys.
Adam Carolla
Eileen.
Gary Cannon
Aileen, Aileen.
Adam Carolla
Oh, because when you go Alien Anderson, it sounds like that's a nickname, like she had big ears or something. Like it sounds like saying Alien Anderson.
Alicia Krause
Alien.
Gary Cannon
And she said, do you remember when you're. So at this time, my parents are gone. And she's like, do you remember when you and your brother used to come over to our house?
Adam Carolla
Your parents are gone at what age?
Gary Cannon
Well, my, my mom split from the family earlier, but my dad's gone at 16. So 16 died. Yeah, he's dead. My mom's gone. So it's just us, the three of us.
Adam Carolla
But your mom's alive.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, she's just gone.
Adam Carolla
If you go, your parents are gone, one of them's dead and one's alive. We're going to think they're both dead or both alive.
Gary Cannon
I mean, they might as well be dead. She left and literally didn't want us. Like, one was like, I don't want my kids, you know?
Adam Carolla
How old were you when that happened?
Gary Cannon
Officially, once it all got down, 16. Yeah, it all happened.
Adam Carolla
But before that, she'd made it clear.
Gary Cannon
Oh, she made it clear since I was in grade school.
Adam Carolla
Is that a drug addict or. That's something severely. Here's what I will say. Men can do this and not be severely impaired when women walk away from their kids. That's a big deal in a world where we keep saying, you know, gender affirmed at birth or assigned at birth, or there's no difference between men and women. There's a fuckload of difference between men and women. And if you show me a dad that moved to Florida and married a secretary when this kid was, you know, 11, I'll go, all right, I get it. But I get.
Gary Cannon
Still makes up.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but when the. When the mom does it, I go, oh, that mom was fucked up. Because moms don't do that.
Gary Cannon
Yeah. So we reconnected when my daughter was too. This is about.
Adam Carolla
But not drugs.
Gary Cannon
No, that's the thing. And I even said to her, I never wanted to give you credit for anything, but you gotta tell me, like, it was never an addiction. Gambling, drugs, alcohol. And she said, nope, just. Just put friends before family. She's one of those people still.
Adam Carolla
Was she. Was she abused? I mean, was there trauma? Because it's like neither drugs or trauma to get to this place.
Gary Cannon
Some of the trauma that I know of was her sister. Her name was Geraldine. She had married a guy in the service, and they were having a child in a military hospital, I want to say, in Virginia. And there were complications, and her sister died. And she said she remembers her mom, my other grandmom, just screaming, you animals. Like in that hospital. You killed my baby. You killed my baby.
Adam Carolla
My baby.
Gary Cannon
So then she and her mother did not have a great relationship, but when you also don't know someone, that's as much as I know, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Gary Cannon
So, yes, there was. What was her problem? That's.
Adam Carolla
My mom wasn't a fan of her kids either. So we've. We have that in common.
Gary Cannon
She didn't have one that she was like, this one's. All right, listen. None of us were.
Adam Carolla
She only had two to choose. No one were loved. She only had two to choose from. And she wasn't. Wasn't a fan of either one, but. And I guess we moved out when we were about 13 or something. So we have, you know, some of the same trajectory, but mom really abandoned your mom, moved away.
Gary Cannon
Here's the other thing. When we say moved away, three miles away, right? Like, it always blows me away. It's mostly as you said. You hear the dads do this, but, like, you're gonna leave the whole wing cost, right? You're gonna leave the whole fucking family, and you're just gonna move a mile away. Like, we could see you at the grocery store. That's not. Like you said a dad went to Florida, not a county over.
Adam Carolla
Did she visit?
Gary Cannon
No.
Adam Carolla
No contact, nothing. All right, so that's a severely traumatized person, I'm gonna say. Did she start a new family?
Gary Cannon
No, no new family. She did get remarried to a guy. He passed away, and then she was long term with another gentleman who also passed away.
Adam Carolla
Did.
Gary Cannon
Three of them killed?
Adam Carolla
Three. Did. Did she. Did the guy sort of go, hey, man, you got your kids, you know, three miles away as the crow flies. Why don't you swing by and say hi, get him a teddy bear for Christmas or something? The guys, you think try to sort of move her toward the light? No.
Gary Cannon
The second guy was a Vietnam vet who ended up dying from complications to, you know, whatever happened over there later on. Cancers, all these things. So she. He stayed with her. And just recently, I guess his. His illegitimate daughter reached out to me. So I'm like, why is my mom's bullshit showing up to my show in Portland, Oregon, right now? You know what I mean? And she's like, that guy was this and this. And I'm like, okay, so he was a shitty dad. So it makes sense to me that a shitty dad will be cool with a shitty.
Adam Carolla
So your mom abandoned you and who else?
Gary Cannon
Two brothers.
Adam Carolla
Two brothers, yes. And, you know, the moms cut deeper than the dads. They just do. So that's trauma. That's an issue. But it also speaks to who your mom was. And again, minus the substance part, it really speaks to.
Gary Cannon
It's more disturbing.
Adam Carolla
I would say it is more. I would say it is more disturbing. So. But you reunite at some point.
Gary Cannon
Yes. I was saying Aileen Anderson said. Remember when my mom used to make.
Adam Carolla
You have to say Eileen Anderson. You can't go Aileen Anderson, because it sounds like Aileen Anderson. Sorry. Aileen Paws Anderson used to say.
Gary Cannon
Aileen Anderson used to come over Christmas and help us in our spaceship.
Adam Carolla
She'd beam your mom up, and then they'd do anal probe, and then she'd beam her back down into a cornfield. And then they'd make a crop circle.
Gary Cannon
I don't remember any of it.
Adam Carolla
Aileen.
Gary Cannon
Aileen said my mom used to make you guys lasagna. And you'd come over two Christmases and you helped decorate our tree. And I was like, man, I have a great memory. I definitely must have been going through it at that, because I don't remember that. She's pretty sure we have a picture of that. So, you know, back to your point. Like, I remember a lot, but there was definitely something going on there because, you know, it's a. It's a wild time, too.
Adam Carolla
We're.
Gary Cannon
We're twins, so I'm 16, my brother's 16, my younger brother's 13. And we're just living in this little apartment by ourselves.
Adam Carolla
How's your dad doing? Is he keeping it together? He was.
Gary Cannon
I mean, he died when he was 42, but he was working doubles. He's driving from Baltimore to Washington. Back then it was National Airports. Ronald Reagan. Now he's working for Pan Am. He's a crew Chief for Pan Am.
Adam Carolla
42.
Gary Cannon
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Why so young?
Gary Cannon
Well, a few things. His wife is cheating on him. He's getting a divorce.
Adam Carolla
His wife is your mom?
Gary Cannon
Yeah, yeah, my mom's cheating on him.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Gary Cannon
He's getting a divorce now and then he has a heart attack. And this is all stress and everything's going. And then what he doesn't know that I find out at 42 is that I've got this genetic blood disease that he had that they didn't know. And that's actually what killed him. The clots and everything killed him.
Adam Carolla
Well, I heard you just had a semi recent scare with clots.
Gary Cannon
It was a couple years ago, but it's what my special live and alive is about. Like, I went in for a simple back surgery. I'm fully aware that I have this blood disease. I tell them, please don't let me lay still without moving me or doing something. And they don't listen. And the day they tell me I can go home, I'm in there about five or six days. I stand up and I clot. I collapse on the bed. When I wake up, they tell me I'm lucky to be alive. And the clots have gone through my heart. Now my heart's twice its size. And then they tell me the next 48 hours are touch and go. I have to call my daughter's mother and tell her I might die. I called my business manager and we were just joking. I was like, remember we were joking, Joking about this this shit's real. And because of the blood disease, they can't do the procedure where they go through your groin and vacuum the clots out. They tell me because of that, I could brain bleed and be a vegetable. So I've got to go the old school route, which is IV blood thinner. Once my body can take that, they'll give me a needle. Once my body can take that, it's a oral pill. And then I can go home. So I'm three weeks in there.
Adam Carolla
Three weeks.
Gary Cannon
Three weeks waiting for my body to, first of all, thank God I live and then adjust to this medicine and I can go home with this pill now.
Adam Carolla
Oh, wow.
Gary Cannon
Yeah. So it's all never knew, but my dad never knew. I find that out at 42 because I clotted at 42 the first time. That's why I'm armed with this information going in here like, hey, this happened to me and I know I'm not going to make it. If I have another one, I'm not going to make it. And they tell me you have a genetic blood disease called Factor 5. Now you have to tell your brothers and everyone in the family, get tested. And they all get tested, my mom included, and none of them have it. So I get it from my dad. His mom dies at 69 and she had it as well. We're figuring it all out. So I'm the first person to figure out what you know. When you died at 42 in the 80s, they just ruled it heart disease. They didn't know. And now they're telling me that with all the knowledge and equipment and the, you know, ever changing world, that they probably misdiagnosed. A lot of young deaths may have been clots.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Gary Cannon
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
That's interesting. If I was the doctor, I'd be like, look, we did a genetic test. You did test positive for Factor 5, the clotting disease. And your family owns slaves. Maybe I should have separated those two, but I don't really have a great bedside manner. And we did a full check on you and your family and we went all the way down the tree and we found this clotting thing, but also slave ownership. And as a matter of fact, your great great grandfather would have owned more slaves if he had not died on his 39th birthday because of the clotting. It is kind of connected. So Those are the two things you need to know.
Gary Cannon
Thank you, Dr. Perot.
Adam Carolla
We can do something about the clotting. Yeah, the whole slave thing, which I'll carry. You gotta make your peace with that. That we don't really have an injection or nothing. There's no catheter for that. That's what I'm saying. I wish there was. And God willing, one day we'll live in a place where there will be. But as of now, we can only do the blood clot thing. We can't do the slave.
Gary Cannon
All right, well, I appreciate anything you can do here. Now I'm on my deathbed.
Adam Carolla
I'm just going ahead and mark your door accordingly, because I went the night nurse, who was a woman of color. I want her to know that there's the clotting situation and then obviously the slave history as well. Okay? So I'm just gonna put that. My family. I realized I don't know whose family was more fucked up, but I haven't told this story in a million years. But it was a crazy. It was a crazy story, and it really shows how fucked up my family was, which is my mom was sort of like your mom, and she wasn't a fan of her mom. And her mom went to the hospital when she was very old. And my mom told me story when she was alive probably, I don't know, five, eight years before my mom died. But she said, look, when I go into the hospital or whatever, when it's it, you gotta make sure and put the do not resuscitate on the door of the hospital room that I'm in because I don't want to be resuscitated. And I was like, done and done. Your Volvo wagon's gonna be on ebay while you're still. Technically still alive. Your body's gonna be warm, but the wagon's gonna be up on ebay while you're still warm. So I'm like, all right. And so she was like, I. And by the way, you can't put the do not resuscitate sort of in the room on the thing, because if you flatline, they'll just come busting in and resuscitate. You got to put it on the door before they come in. They know dnr. So I go, yeah, okay. She goes, let's not let happen what happened to Mom. My grandmother, her mom, she had the do not resuscitate thing, too, but they didn't put it on the door. They put it in the room. And then she was visiting her, and she went downstairs to get a cup of coffee, and Mom, Grandma flatlined, but they didn't see it. So they burst in and they resuscitated her. So she goes. So I came back with my coffee. And she was still alive. And I'm like, that's your hard luck. That's your hard luck story.
Gary Cannon
That's what happened to you.
Adam Carolla
You went down to Starbucks and 20 minutes later you came back and your mom was still alive. And she's like, let's not go through that again. Because that was tough on all of us. And I said, yeah. So it's also. I mean, it's brutal when you're taking.
Gary Cannon
That because you know she's about to check out, and then you come back, like, what happened?
Adam Carolla
Oh, you gotta sue the hospital. When I left, this bitch was alive when I came back, you, Honor, still alive.
Gary Cannon
Imagine being angry about that.
Adam Carolla
It was the part where she used it as a cautionary tale for me.
Gary Cannon
How old are you at the time, too?
Adam Carolla
I was. Yeah, I was probably like 50. And I was like, so you mean I could leave and then come back and you'd still be alive? And that would be a major issue with this family? That was the weirdest.
Gary Cannon
That is wild to say to somebody. Like, let's make sure. When I'm dead, I'm dead and I stay dead.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I just want to stay dead.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, I just want to stay dead.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. When you flatline. When I flatline.
Gary Cannon
How long did your grandma live after they brought her back? Please say like, 10 more years to 106.
Adam Carolla
She. I don't. I don't know. A year. I don't know.
Gary Cannon
I'm like, listen, I'm dead to anything.
Adam Carolla
I told my mom, when you flatline, I don't care how many people come in here. I'm not pulling that pillow off your head. I will not. It'll take 80 guys to get me.
Gary Cannon
To get that pillow off your face.
Adam Carolla
I promise you. I brought an extra pillow. Yeah, I don't. I should figure out my grandmother made it to like 92 or 93 or something. She made it for a while. I don't know how much longer. I don't know if she got home from the hospital. I just. I just like that my mom thought this was a teachable moment in terms of family. And you gotta make sure that DNR's on that door. Cause they will miss it if they just come in. And it's on the paperwork stuff to. Anyway, Yeah, I was doing a comedy show. I ran in my old foreman partner, guy I used to work with, like swinging a hammer. Interesting. Kind of nice.
Gary Cannon
What's he do now?
Adam Carolla
He swings a hammer.
Gary Cannon
Is he running a show or is he still swinging out there?
Adam Carolla
Oh, he's running something. I mean all the guys, trades guys, you know, I'm trying to think guys, lawyers move around, they go from job. He's a producer now or whatever. He has a potter. Construction guys are just doing more construction.
Gary Cannon
I just mean he's probably aged out of it if he was your foreman when you were young.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he was only a few years older than me. Wasn't that much older than me. And we met on a job and he just sort of cherry picked me and then it was just me and him sort of driving the highways and the byways in his van, out working and he taught me a lot of stuff. So I was sort of happy. I was sort of grateful to see him and it was nice. Yeah. And I think, I don't know, I think there's something to it. It's nice for him because he remembers me sitting in his van, you know, fucking around the whole time. But also was like, I took it seriously. Like I was like, I want to learn, you know, stuff. I'd like to be a better carpenter. I want you to teach me stuff. He always took the time, you know, and sort of went, here's how you do it kind of thing. Lots of tricks, lots of, you know, I wouldn't call them shortcuts but like sort of ways to get it done cleaner and faster and that kind of stuff. And it stuck with me and I appreciated it.
Gary Cannon
What's the first thing you built for yourself? Where you were like, fuck yeah. I mean, before shows and all that stuff. What's the first thing you did for yourself? Did you ever build a shed or anything like that for yourself? Work anything?
Adam Carolla
I have this weird memory of having this yearning to build myself a bookshelf. When I lived in my dad's garage when I was like 18 and I just had this thought, like, I'm going to build a bookshelf. And I went down to the lumber yard and I bought one by 12, knotty pine and pegs and stuff and drill bits. And I got it all home and I started in on it and then I kind of realized I don't know how to build anything. I hit the ground with a lot of momentum, you know, and I was like, pretty cocksure and I was like, I'm going to build myself this thing. And then I realized I didn't know how to build. And it was weird. It was kind of a weird sobering moment where like you really want. You have this yearning to do this. It's kind of, if you are a builder, it kind of Is like when you're 13, but you really don't start your masturbation career until you're 15. But you find yourself staring at Playboys, just kind of staring at them, and you don't really know what you're doing. You're just staring real hard at them. But you're not masturbating like nothing's happening. You just like, that's the beginning. That's the dream. I guess it was that way for building. Like, I wanted to build. Like, I wanted to build. I just didn't have tools or skills or anything. And then, you know, then I walked onto a job site and then, you know, pretty soon. But there were, like, lots of tricks and lots of stuff to learn and digest and stuff like that. And he was always keen to teach me all that stuff.
Gary Cannon
And I learned a lot of them. I watched these guys get up on roofs, and they're like, can you just simply do this? And I'm like, stuff simple. And they dropped that piece of wood there, and then they cut it. I'm like, God damn, that is perfect.
Adam Carolla
It's good.
Gary Cannon
It's some good stuff out there. Some shitty stuff out there, too. My brother had a similar thing.
Adam Carolla
He bought a project called Twin.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, my twin brother, he bought a project car. He bought a. I want to say it was a. It was a white Dodge 68 challenger, which nowadays he's mad at himself because his things fixed up or. Yeah, but this was every day after school. Again, we have no parents, so we're the spot. Everybody goes. So it's just.
Adam Carolla
Your dad's out about.
Gary Cannon
He's. No, he's dead.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he's dead by then.
Gary Cannon
Dead. And we just got this little gravel driveway, and it's just parked there. And every day these clowns are trying to get this thing just to turn over. It won't even turn over. And our entertainment is just sitting on the porch with some beers, watching these yahoos try to get this thing started. And they're. They're pouring gas in the carburetor. I mean, it's shooting up out of them. Like, you guys are never getting this thing started. And I mean, after months, one day, boom. And I mean, I shot up out of my chair. Like, no way. The whole neighborhood heard it. And it's. It sounds so good. I'm like, oh, my God, you guys got it started. So we're all pushing it now. We want to get this thing out. The neighbors are coming over. Everybody's excited. We go push it up. All those My things that and it never started.
Adam Carolla
That was it.
Gary Cannon
They turned it over. Yeah, that was it. They got it once.
Adam Carolla
You know, it's kind of weird, all the hours and hours and hours spent wrenching, trying to get stuff to work. Frustration, putting stuff back together, tearing down, rebuilding. Like I think about the months, the hours, the years. Like I got into that myself. Like your brother just didn't have the skill, didn't have the tools.
Gary Cannon
But a lot of will either. If you had YouTube, you could put that thing right up and get that thing started.
Adam Carolla
No, but. But in Sego, I guess it was a waste of time. But on the other hand, I was learning something through mostly error than trial.
Gary Cannon
Also staying off the street, you know, they're just for hours. They're there working on that car.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Gary Cannon
What do you know about drift racing? I sponsor. My stepson started drift racing. I sponsor his car. We got a honeydew race car out there on the tracks.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Gary Cannon
Yeah. And I'm new to drifting. I didn't. I know, I know. Racing as against the clock or against a competitor.
Adam Carolla
He got a 240sx or what's he drifting?
Gary Cannon
He did. He just. He traded that in for a BMW and I don't know what that is.
Adam Carolla
Series probably.
Gary Cannon
I think it is a 3 series.
Adam Carolla
The 240sX was the sort of weapon of drifter choice back in the day. And now it's open to Mustangs and like they opened it up to everything now.
Gary Cannon
Everything. There's cars out. There's a guy that's got an old cop car out there.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Gary Cannon
Yeah. And he put a manual in it. So he's out there practicing a manual transmission in this old.
Adam Carolla
The drifting. I'm not a drifting expert. I will tell you this. I did win the Toyota grand prix celebrity race once because I was talking to a guy who was in the pro division and he was fast. He was a drift guy. Tanner Fouse, he was a off road guy. But anyway, good guy. And I said to him, where's a good place to pass or how can I win this race? And he goes, well, at the end of the back, straight into the turn 11 or whatever it was, he goes. The day before they have the drifting competition and that, that's where they go. They go right around there, they go down that straight, then they drift around that corner and then they whip it back the other way and then they end up at Shoreline. But he goes, all those drifting guys are going on Friday and then you're racing Saturday morning and they're gonna Leave a lot of rubber on that corner. Cause they're spinning their tires, and they're gonna leave a lot of rubber. And that means that corner's sticky on the inside. So he said, while other guys are braking and setting up and getting ready to do their turn, you stay on it. You break real deep, and you go inside, and you'll get the grip because they just laid down all that rubber from the day before. And I said, okay. And I won the race. And that's where I passed the guys.
Gary Cannon
Is that right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, because there's that part of life. Just like Tom Johnson told me how to rip plywood.
Gary Cannon
That's what I learned, too, about this. This damn sport here is how much tires are. And I didn't know. I'm like, wait, we're going through how many tires on this damn thing? And then I just realized, you know, I always thought I grew up. You got a race car. That's your car. These are just a chassis, and they're replaced. You know, bang, bang. These are meant. They're falling apart out there.
Adam Carolla
So you're sponsoring this drift car?
Gary Cannon
Yeah. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And your nephew's driving it.
Gary Cannon
My stepson, my daughter's brother. They share a mom, so he's out there driving.
Adam Carolla
Oh, wait a minute.
Gary Cannon
So I have a daughter.
Adam Carolla
Your daughter's brother.
Gary Cannon
They share a mom.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay. Wait a minute. Your daughter's brothers. Your son, right?
Gary Cannon
My stepson.
Adam Carolla
Your stepson. Okay. Your stepson.
Gary Cannon
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Okay. Your daughter's brother. But anyway, your stepson is drifting.
Gary Cannon
Yes. And this looks like a video of it right here.
Adam Carolla
I'm gonna maybe have a video of it. How much can you win drifting these days, man?
Gary Cannon
If. If you're good, you can win a lot. He's.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he's got a Z car.
Gary Cannon
Oh, Z. That's right. He had a Z. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Right.
Gary Cannon
And he's. He's pretty damn good at it.
Adam Carolla
Does he? And it's points. Right.
Gary Cannon
So that's what I don't like about this. It's very much like boxing, where it's.
Adam Carolla
Olympic boxing to a.
Gary Cannon
Well, boxing in general, it's left up to a judge.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. But in. In professional boxing, you knock someone out.
Gary Cannon
You can.
Adam Carolla
And you can in Olympics as well. But Olympics is more points, and it's not as satisfying because the guy didn't do any damage, but he threw a lot of jabs.
Gary Cannon
Yeah. So I'm watching this, and I'm like, why aren't you picking?
Adam Carolla
Pass.
Gary Cannon
And then he explained it to me. The. You go two laps, I'm gonna go first, this guy's gonna go second. The guy in second's job is to mirror the guy in first and follow him and sort of dance his dance as best he can. Then we're gonna switch and then the guy in first is supposed to hit these corners like you're seeing. And there's white lines on the out edge of these tracks. And the goal is to put your tires or ass end as, as much as you right there in that white when you go.
Adam Carolla
Are you up at Willow Springs, by the way?
Gary Cannon
This was Willow Springs. Yes sir.
Adam Carolla
And you're on the streets of Willow. Not the big track, but the streets, which is up above the big track, which is pretty cool.
Gary Cannon
Believe so. Yes.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I know so.
Gary Cannon
And, yeah, and, and then this, this is first time out there. So you know, they're getting banged up. But then at the end of it, these guys decide who won the race. You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
It's the judges decide.
Gary Cannon
Yes. That's what I don't like. It's like.
Adam Carolla
Right, but not the drivers, the judges.
Gary Cannon
Right, yeah.
Adam Carolla
That's interesting.
Gary Cannon
So it's different for me because I'm like a clock or clear. Head to head is the winner. But they're like, nah, this one's more of a, a different kind of thing. Yeah, I'll go along with that, you know.
Adam Carolla
And listen, any thing that's motorsports, I'm.
Gary Cannon
Dude, I loved it. I'm out there watching these guys, you know us is really cool. Is there. Even though these guys is entry level guys, they're. They're competing against one another, but as soon as one of them has a problem, they all run over and help. They're just gearheads, you know what I mean? They love to work on the cars and fix the problems. Here's a crazy small world story. So there's this little BMW, it's a, it's a 3 series out there. It's got this big American flag flying on or a white one. He's just tear assing all around the track. And I tell a friend of mine who I've known since 9th grade, he just coincidentally works for GE, but he lives in Temecula and he has for a while. And now our daughters are best friends. We go back to children as best friends. And I'm telling him, he knows my stepson, his name's Derek. And I'm telling my buddy Jim about Derek doing this drifting. And he goes, what's that racing you told me about? I go, drifting? He goes, yeah, man. The guy who. What who dog sits for us, has a roommate and he's got one of those cars. And I was like, really? And he takes a picture of it and I go, you're not gonna fucking believe this. I go, I think that's the guy that I was telling you about in the BMW. So he says to him, do you know Derek? And he's like, oh, yeah, I just helped him work on his car. And I'm like, your dog sitter's roommate and my stepson know each other from the drift world. Like, the drift world is this big. The odds of that happening to two people like that, I'm like, that's crazy. And they're like, yeah, what's up? How you doing? I'm. That's wild to me.
Adam Carolla
That's wild to me. Well, the great magnet works in mysterious ways. All right, so drifting aside, I got a clip because I don't know, something's going on. But Kamala Harris is out making the rounds, and for some reason, people are now asking her follow up questions. I feel like the press is, I don't want to say emboldened, but they got caught. They're basically like an umpire that got caught calling a game for their son who was pitching and he was bouncing balls to the home plate. They're going, see rack three. And that went on for a decade.
Gary Cannon
That's what I'm worried about with these judges in the damn drift racing, it's going to be that result.
Adam Carolla
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Gary Cannon
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Adam Carolla
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Andrew
I want to come back to the book and the purpose of the book.
Interviewer/Reporter
So this is the last question. We're at time you got to go.
Adam Carolla
Sorry.
Andrew
Yep. Well, that's almost a first, not an absolute first, but to have a member of staff of the former vice president of the United States actually speak up during the interview to say that we were going too long, I didn't expect that. But coming back to the interview itself, it seems to me at its very heart there is a reluctance on the part of Kamala Harris to actually spell out and talk about the issues that Joe Biden had as president. Was it Joe Biden's decision, his failure to recognise his own frailties in that position that put you in the position that made it almost impossible to win that race?
Interviewer/Reporter
He was not frail as president of.
Andrew
The United States, but he had frailties. We all saw the debate. I'm just wondering, is there a reason why you won't go to that prolonged frailty question? We saw the debate. We saw the difficulty he had marshalling his thoughts.
Interviewer/Reporter
I have answered that question. I do not believe.
Andrew
I think it's just hard watching the debate to see how there could not be a problem long term with someone who can't marshal their thoughts. I'm not saying his acuity wasn't present.
Interviewer/Reporter
I said that in the book.
Andrew
It's in the book. But it seems to me she doesn't want to say it on camera. I asked her that. She denied it. But I think there is still a reluctance there to criticize Joe Biden, which makes her current pivot a really difficult one because she's Joe Biden's vice president. It seems she's still not prepared to completely condemn him. But she's got to be a character in her own right without Joe Biden attached in order to have a chance to run again.
Adam Carolla
You can stop there, Andrew. I think I liked it, but there's a clip of just it, uninterrupted, sort of unedited, where she just sort of asked the question. And it's weird because it's so strange to see these people asked a follow up question because we haven't seen it in so long. And I guess there's something about Australia because Australia 60 Minutes is a lot harder hitting and sort of down the middle vs Australia vs 60 minutes United States, which is more left leaning, which is kind of interesting. They'll get into stuff and you'll go, what? That's 60 minutes? And they go, that's Australia 60 minutes. So there's something going on with Australia and their news agencies that are different than than our own. But this is the actual long form question. But she just says in the middle of it, she goes, you didn't answer my question. Which you scream at the TV set all day long for the last decade, but nobody's being interviewed. The interviewers don't, but here it is.
Andrew
Wasn't Joe Biden then to put it on him, Wasn't his refusal to recognize his own frailties the reason that you faced a nearly impossible task?
Interviewer/Reporter
I ran against Donald Trump for president and Donald Trump ran on a platform that was in large part, I believe, misrepresenting his intentions to the American people. I do believe that there are a fair number of people that voted for Donald Trump who believed him when he told them that his first priority on day one is going to be to bring down prices. And he didn't. And you combine that misrepresentation of intention with also what was at play in terms of massive amounts of mis and.
Andrew
Disinformation, forgive me, and a diluted calendar in terms of the clock. Yes, I want to interrupt you because that is a world class pivot, but it is not the question that I asked you.
Adam Carolla
All right, pause it. You'll never see. See, that's never been said. That's Never been said in the United States to a Democrat ever. They could have brought up to Joe Biden. They could have brought it up to her. They could have brought up Gavin Newsom, could have brought up Kamala Harris. All of them, for the last five years. That has never. No one has ever went, excuse me, that's not what I asked. That's all. You're fucking journalists. We gotta go overseas to get this kind of journalism overseas.
Gary Cannon
You gotta go all the way down to Australia.
Adam Carolla
You gotta go down. You need a 26 hour flight in order to find some decent journalism. Everybody, they're waking up a little bit, but yes, Kamala Harris. Ms. Word salad, Ms. Talk out the clock, go into the four corner, stall it out, run out. The game is finally having someone stop her and go, that's not the question I asked. Which is very interesting. You just never see it. Now, I would argue Kamala will never go back and have another interview with this person. And that's why they do it. It's a tacit agreement. They go, we want them to come back. So we're gonna ask nothing. But if everyone just did it, then they would have to come back because everyone would be doing it. All right, well, we'll go back 10 seconds just to hear her do it.
Interviewer/Reporter
Again, which is fun calendar.
Andrew
In terms of the clock, I want to interrupt you because that is a world class pivot, but it is not the question that I asked you, which is about Joe Biden's failure to recognize his own frailties and what that did to you. The question is about Joe Biden. Are you still reluctant to criticize the former president?
Interviewer/Reporter
In what regard, please?
Andrew
Well, just in terms of that question. So you went on exactly what you like to ask.
Interviewer/Reporter
Why don't you be more specific?
Adam Carolla
She's angry now.
Andrew
Was it Joe Biden's decision, his failure to recognize his own frailties in that position that put you in the position that made it almost impossible to win that race?
Interviewer/Reporter
He was not frail as President of.
Andrew
The United States, but he had frailties. We all saw the debate.
Interviewer/Reporter
I do believe that Joe Biden had the capacity to be President of the United States. And I have never doubted that he had the capacity to be President of the United States. If you want to talk about whether he had the ability to endure what a race for President of the United States would require in that political environment in 2024, as I've said in the book, I had concerns.
Andrew
I'm just wondering, is there a reason why you won't go to that prolonged Frailty question. We saw the debate, we saw the difficulty he had marshaling his thoughts.
Interviewer/Reporter
I have answered that question. I do not believe that.
Andrew
I think it's just hard watching the debate to see how there could not be a problem long term with someone who can't marshal their thoughts. I'm not saying his acuity wasn't present.
Interviewer/Reporter
I'm not talking about that in the book. And I also mentioned the context in which that debate occurred. And you'll probably remember how I talked about that in terms of what his travel schedule had been, what he had been enduring. In terms of the timing of that debate.
Adam Carolla
I talked about it posit there what he endured as it pertained to the timing of it. Was it 6 o' clock Eastern? What do you mean the timing? Nobody woke him up at 4am and said it's debate time bro.
Gary Cannon
Like, okay, but you're also saying that the entire time you had no issue with him or did you not believe he was frail or incompetent or unable to do the job up until what, two months before? Like what are you talking about?
Adam Carolla
He went to Camp David and prepared for like two weeks, literally. And Air Force One has a full sized, probably a California king in the back of it. I mean Air Force One has a bedroom. You can sleep all the way from D.C. to wherever it was. And this thing of like he went to Europe 14 days earlier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But by the way, everyone has this fucking schedule. You know what I mean? Like it's the craziest. I'm going, I'm doing the Wilbur Theater in Boston. I just want to say it on a Thursday.
Gary Cannon
He is not as frail. Listen, Joe Biden's no idiot. When he saw that bullet hit Trump's ear, he was like, fuck this, I'm right. That was it. That was it. It wasn't the anything else. He was like, oh okay, well, never mind. You all can have that shit.
Adam Carolla
The what I'm saying is, is honestly, I'm doing the Wilbur Theater on Thursday in Boston. It's a 7:30 show. I'm not leaving three days earlier and getting acclimated to the time zone and the food, spending time in a hyperbaric chamber or anything. I leave LAX on an 8:30 flight on Thursday and then I land at like 5:30 and then I get my shit together and get to the theater and walk out on stage for an hour and a half. I you can do it. You can get your shit together.
Gary Cannon
It's pretty telling us that he just had this grueling schedule and that's why he's sort of off of his game. Is you telling us that he's not able to do the job because that's the job. Yeah, that's the job. That's part of the job.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's a good, very good point. It's like saying this guy can't coach a football team because of the long hours. It's like, well, that's.
Gary Cannon
Well, they got to go to Detroit on a Thursday and then they're back over here on a Monday. What are you talking about?
Adam Carolla
That's.
Gary Cannon
That's the job. That's the job.
Adam Carolla
Well, also go back 20 seconds, but I mean, he literally went to Camp David and rehearsed and practiced for like two weeks and called it a night at 8 o' clock every night. Like, what's the part where he was so depleted that he couldn't. I mean, this is basically. Let me explain what this is. Like back in the day when you'd hear that the lead singer of Blur had to cancel the concert series because of dehydration. The guy's 26. That ain't dehydration, bro. That's something. He canceled the next 10 dates because. Go fucking pound a Pedialyte in the wings and you'll be back. And by the way, you cannot dehydrate a 26 year old. The point is, you have all the greatest medicine and the medical staff and all the beds and all the. Everything you need. You can just get a good night's sleep the night before, get up that day and go out and do a debate. But we'll hear it. Let's see, let's hear what he. Let's hear what he.
Andrew
With someone who can't marshal their thoughts. I'm not saying his acuity wasn't present.
Interviewer/Reporter
I mentioned that in the book. And I also mentioned the context in which that debate occurred. And you'll probably remember how I talked about that in terms of what his travel schedule had been, what he had been enduring in terms of the timing of that debate. I talk about it extensively. What's the book? I'm not shying away from that. So I wrote it in the book because I do know it's a question people had.
Adam Carolla
Okay, the travel schedule was. I'm going to Camp David for two weeks and then the timing was, I don't know, whatever time in the evening.
Gary Cannon
That's. That's Camp Davidson, Maryland.
Adam Carolla
It's right there.
Gary Cannon
What's that? A 15 minute flight?
Adam Carolla
What is. You know, I can tell you from flying Private a little bit. When you're in the lap of luxury, time isn't even a thing. Like it doesn't matter if it's a five hour flight or a 90 minute flight. It doesn't matter.
Gary Cannon
And we're not flying on Air Force Ones either.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, if I had a bedroom and.
Gary Cannon
A shower in the back.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Right, Andrew, you say Google AI has an overview result of this question, which I would get. Let's see. These are the results in the six days leading up to the June 27, 2024 debate with Joe Biden intensely preparing at Camp David, which included reviewing policy, mock debates, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But this debate prep was impacted by travel fatigue from two prior European trips. Ryan's 1000% correct.
Gary Cannon
That's the job.
Adam Carolla
If you go to Europe and you come back and you're fucked up because of the time change for the next seven months, you cannot be the leader of the fucking free world. And by the way, does it affect Trump at all? Trump does.
Gary Cannon
Everyone who's ever been the president before him, it's affected.
Adam Carolla
Trump is in Malaysia like one weekend and he's in Perth the next weekend, he's in China the following weekend and then he comes back and does a five hour presser. So. Yeah, but anyway, his travel to Europe several weeks earlier threw him off.
Gary Cannon
Two trips, Adam, two trips.
Adam Carolla
Two trips where you can sleep on a king sized bed in the back of the world.
Gary Cannon
You're not flying from California to Europe. You're going just across the pod. It's a cross country flight, right?
Adam Carolla
All right, Anyway, Kamala's done and there's going to be no more of this. And it's a new world order. And whatever the bullshit, I'll tell you.
Gary Cannon
When I turn the debate off, when both of these men up there started to argue, because I am just, I'm down the middle and I can't stand either fucking side. When they started arguing who was the better golfer, I was like, I'm done. And so are we. As a.
Alicia Krause
So are we.
Adam Carolla
I was.
Gary Cannon
You're. I could out drive you. What the fuck are you talking about right now?
Adam Carolla
I do love that.
Gary Cannon
And he wasn't too tired to sit up there and talk about his golf game, though.
Adam Carolla
I'll tell you the I do. I. In a weird way, I kind of like that moment. Even though I realize, like how look again. I don't often say the terrorists are right, but in this particular case, they make certain points. They're out there looking for clean water, dealing with ethnic cleansing, living underground and we're like, I got a better handicap than you. They're literally talking about their golf.
Gary Cannon
White guys are talking about the golf handicap. And we're all hanging in the balance over here. Like, what do you got? What?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I wonder if that. Yeah, that isn't. That's the thing. That was it for me.
Gary Cannon
I was like, I'm done, I'm done.
Adam Carolla
I also Glamour magazine in the UK put nine men on the COVID It was kind of interesting. So people kept tweeting me this and I was looking at Glamour magazine from the UK and it was 5 trans on the COVID and I was looking at it and they just look like attractive women to me. But they started off as dudes. And the thing that was funny, it says the dolls. Glamour dolls. It says Women of the year or whatever. I don't know Women of the Year. And so I was looking at it and I was going, how come there's no fat women on here? Because if you do women these days and you get nine models together, one has to be a plus size model. Like, that's the new world order. If you're Woke magazine, one has to be fat. Maybe two or three need to be Lizzo sized models, but these are all dudes. And so you don't need the plus size he she model. Because we're already covered in the Woke department because their junk is tucked between their legs. So we're covered. But I didn't know it was he she because it just says dolls. The dolls Women of the year. And I looked and I was like, oh, I thought it was refreshing that you didn't have to represent with a fat chick on the COVID of the magazine. And then I realized you're all dudes. And then I was back to reality, which is, oh, of course, of course we are. But I will ask you, Ryan Sickler, and this bolsters and proves my point. Whenever they do women, and even if they do the Victoria's Secret angel walk, wings, whatever, whatever, they need plus size. They need representation for some plus size dude. Models do not have any fat dude representation. There's no Artie Lang in his underpants walking the catwalk. It doesn't.
Gary Cannon
Plus size is muscle. Like steroid dudes.
Adam Carolla
It doesn't really exist. We just get the best looking dudes or the skinniest dudes we can find. So we don't have that representation, which is interesting. I kind of wish we did. I mean, why not open it up, the plus sized dude?
Gary Cannon
Well, you would have the husky section back. And what was it JCPenney or Sears. Sears had Husky, but I don't think. I don't ever recall looking through a Sears catalog and hitting the husky kids section as a fat kid.
Adam Carolla
No, we still have the best. We put the best looking dude models we can out there and with no plus size representation. But these are all dudes who are saying they're chicks, but they still don't get the plus size because that's how stringent we are about this. So are those all trans men? And I guess, and I don't know, are you with me? That we need the pre op and the post op designation? Yes, we used to have that when I was young, right? It'd go, that's a pre op transsexual. And that's a post op. Cause that's a big deal at the bar, you know.
Gary Cannon
It's a very big deal. I used to work at a hotel. It was called Kimpton Hotel. It was the corner of Pico and Beverwills. This little tiny little street right there. It's like. I don't know what it is. It might be a Lowe's now, but anyway, that the seventh floor floor, there was a plastic surgery recovery floor. So we would see everyone coming in for everything. And I would have conversations with them about these things, what they're doing and stuff. And look, you gotta have it. You gotta have. Look, I get this all the time too. Trans women are real women. Okay, fine, you can say what you want to say, but if a trans woman was a real woman, you wouldn't need the disclaimer trans the same way. A step parent. I am a step parent. I'm not that kid's real parent. Don't care how much I identify as his real parent. I don't care how much I've done for that kid all his life. Don't care that he calls me whatever. I'm a step parent to a drifter. To a drifter, for Christ's sake. So it's okay. Identify however you want. But you got to fucking be clear about it. Got to be weird, because also, the game is getting better. The first time I thought, I'll tell you.
Alicia Krause
Can.
Gary Cannon
Can we bring up the Poison? Look what the cat dragged in Album cover. When I walked into a record store the first time and I saw that from a distance, I was like, who are these pretty ladies?
Adam Carolla
You thought Poison was Vixen.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, Vixen. That's right.
Adam Carolla
Thank you for remembering. I'm like this lead afford avenue out.
Gary Cannon
That you walk in from across the distance. I'm like, look at these four girls. Yeah. And then you get closer and you're like, oh, my God, these are fucking guys. These are actually guys.
Adam Carolla
Jesus Christ. We went from the fucking Ohio Players to this bullshit. And that's Ohio Players all ass and tits. Back then the brothers knew how to do it. In the 70s, I didn't even know what any of the Ohio Players looked like because their album covers were just tits and ass the whole time. And now we got this shit.
Gary Cannon
So, yeah, you got to have disclaimers. You got to have it. You gotta have it.
Adam Carolla
I agree.
Gary Cannon
You can't just. The game is getting way better also. The game is getting way better.
Adam Carolla
The voices. You mean? The mannerisms.
Gary Cannon
Not just that, the surgeries, the. The. The makeup these days, the hair. I mean, you could take a woman and make her a bald lady and have her look like something completely different. You know what I mean? So you gotta change the. You gotta tell us.
Adam Carolla
I'm looking at the Ohio Players. The Ohio Players are funny because we show their normal record covers. It's just hot chicks, right? So the Ohio players were like, first off, some world class afros going on on those brothers. But give me the typical Ohio Player record cover. But the Ohio Players are funny. Cause it was all. It was always hot chicks on the covers. But I guess at some point they.
Gary Cannon
Went, there's one in a bikini over here.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, they got the one with the fire hose and the titties and everything. That's where we used to go, you know, we didn't have porn, but we had the Ohio Players. But the Ohio Players are funny because at some point they did do a cover with all of the Ohio Players on it. But they're still like, we need a nude chick. And they're like, we're doing an album with us on it. Yeah, I know. And a nude chick.
Gary Cannon
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
No, but she's not in the band. No, I know. We need a nude chick sitting on top of piano.
Gary Cannon
Sydney's coming here to squeeze her titties.
Adam Carolla
In between the Ohio players. And they're like, no, no, the label just wants the Ohio players.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, it's fine. They'll be.
Adam Carolla
And titties. It's like they can't do it. And then, I mean, like, their managers, like, you know the band. Paul Revere and the Raiders. Yeah. You know who's on the COVID of their album? Who? Paul Revere and the Raiders. And not a naked chick, just them. And they're like, but we're the fucking Ohio Players.
Gary Cannon
They are.
Adam Carolla
And we need titties. And that's what we're putting on our record cover, Mr. Mean. So when did.
Gary Cannon
Well, you know, going back to here.
Adam Carolla
I miss old black folk.
Gary Cannon
What if you want trans women? You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
If you want one.
Gary Cannon
If I'm a guy that wants a trans lady. Tell me you're a trans. What if you. You know what I mean? Tell me you're a trans lady. I want the disclaimer.
Adam Carolla
Are there guys who are the guys who want the trans lady?
Gary Cannon
I think a lot of guys.
Adam Carolla
You do?
Gary Cannon
Yeah, I think a lot of guys.
Adam Carolla
Lot meaning.
Gary Cannon
Well, I mean, not percentage wise stuff you take. We talking about global here? Are we talking about United States?
Andrew
Are we.
Adam Carolla
What do we think of those guys? Like, is there. Or do we have thoughts about those guys? Like, they go, look, I'm straight, dude. I just like a trans lady.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, you're not straight.
Adam Carolla
Okay, so that's. Those are thoughts. You're not Ohio players.
Gary Cannon
You are not an Ohio player.
Adam Carolla
You are not the straightest guys in the world. So you're not straight. If that's what you want. Yeah, I don't trust that. But I'm also. I'm also trying to figure out, where do you go? Like, what about the guys that like stuff in their ass? Where are we with them?
Gary Cannon
Well, what kind of stuff? Like, men. Men.
Adam Carolla
I don't know, like, getting pegged. You know what I mean? Like, they're.
Gary Cannon
That's definitely gay. It's definitely gay.
Adam Carolla
Even if it's a beautiful woman who's donning a strap on.
Gary Cannon
Well, she's back there to pound town. You. She's back there into it.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, for sure.
Gary Cannon
Finger, whatever.
Adam Carolla
I.
Gary Cannon
That's not. We're exploring. We're exploring. We're, you know, even a little toy. But if you're, like, I'm gonna get pegged. If you want to be on all fours, if you want to be in the submissive position and have a woman fucking take it from you, like, good for you. But also, it's definitely gay vibes. Find me a gay guy that would argue that.
Adam Carolla
What if I said, listen, I got this really hot chick. She was on the COVID of the Ohio players album in 1977. I don't know if you remember that. She's in her early 70s. No, she was young at the time, maybe even underage. She's 74. But the point is, she's held up nicely. She's hot. And I'm not into the peg scene, but this is a dream for her. So I'M not into it, so don't blame me. She's. Pardon the pun, riding out a fantasy here. So now, little less judgment for me.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, sure. But it's not. I'm not. Listen, first of all, I'm not judging. No, I would say I'm clarifying. Clarifying that it leans gay. It's a. You know, it's not. I'm not judging you. Go take it to Pound Town. Like, if that's what gets you there, get you there. If that's what you're into, that's what you're into. I don't care about what anybody does with themselves. But we got to just stop saying everything is this. No, it's not. It's okay to be different when the did it. When did different become the same? Supposed to celebrate differences.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Gary Cannon
That's what makes us who the we are. We're not all the same. And also the you should do motivational speaking.
Adam Carolla
You should get in front of, like, special needs kids and be like, hey, we're all fucking different. And that's fucking good. Okay, bro? Because that's who the fuck we are.
Gary Cannon
Celebrate your differences, man.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You want to get a good Pagan from an Ohio player? That's your fucking business.
Gary Cannon
That's your business, bro. That is your business.
Adam Carolla
Any Ohio. How many Ohio players are still alive? And here's. This is smart. There's one really shrewd move the black performers of the 70s do, which is they got these pictures of these guys. Huge afros, pork chop sideburns, wearing tuxedos with ruffles. When they show up at a casino in modern times, who's to say if that's an actual Ohio player or not? Cause now the guy's got short cropped hair and he shops at Old Navy. And we don't fucking know. Nobody's yelling. That's not. You get to go on in perpetuity. Like the Coasters. The Coasters had hits in the 50s.
Gary Cannon
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
They're playing somewhere this weekend. And the guy playing the bass is 31. They can just go on, you know what I'm saying? Because they just need another brother and maybe one original guy. But I don't even know if they need the original. Original guy anymore. Are the Ohio players. There's two surviving three. Three, According to the website, they have three of the original members. James Diamond Williams on drums. That's right. Billy Beck on the keyboard. And Clarence Willis. Clarence Willis on lead guitar. And I think the fourth and original member died in a fire. Stuff they hear coming from his Hotel room, so. And are they playing? Do they got. Do they got performing? There's 10 dudes in the band right now. There's 10 dudes in the Ohio Players. Yeah, I swear to God. There's bands, like I said, the Coasters, like from the early 50s. Still booked this weekend.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, it's crazy.
Adam Carolla
Too bad we can't do that with our rockers.
Gary Cannon
Or the rockers are not holding together. Well, I think I just saw a clip of the guy from the Scorpions. Seen this one now. I mean, he looked like he was medicated and out of it, just mumbling.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Gary Cannon
We wrap it up or just get a new singer. It's okay if the library's still good. Yeah, go get a new sing. Journey did it.
Adam Carolla
I think David Lee Roth is getting going down that road a little.
Gary Cannon
Just happened as well. For a minute now, he's like, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, he's going to. Well, I mean, it's bound to happen.
Gary Cannon
How can it not? You're living. They're 60s and 70s rock and roll, drugs, you name it. Of course it's going to have David.
Adam Carolla
Lee Roth now looks like a pair of leather pants.
Gary Cannon
Yeah, he does. He really does.
Adam Carolla
But it's also. You realize that here's. That here's the deal too. If you're going to pick songs like Jump and these kinds of, you know, ain't talking about love and stuff like that. That ain't like Old Man River. Like Old man river, you can do until your 90s, you know, you just go that Old man river. You can do like, you can do a sort of Pat Boone version of a career and a Bing Crosby, like. And you can ride that shit into your 90s, no doubt. If you're doing the high octave, front ball kicks, high pitch, whatever, then you come out and you try it. You can't pull it off at 70. You could pull it off at 26. It's too tall. In order. So you have to start. Like, when you're in a rock band and you get into your mid-30s, you have to start thinking about, like, we need some hits that I could sing when I'm 75 that aren't going to be. You know. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not going Ronnie James Dio at 75.
Gary Cannon
You know, it's the comedian that used to have the flip as their closer is like, right, let's see if you're doing that in your 40s, brother.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Gary Cannon
Get a new closer.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Gary Cannon
Yeah. You can't be singing Jamie's crying right. In your 80s, right?
Adam Carolla
You're going to have to figure something out. But there are these. All these. You know, if you're Neil Sadaka, you can have him up, baby. You can fucking pull that shit off two days after you're dead, right? Do not resuscitate. Ryan, let me give you a plug over here. The special. It is called Ryan Sickler, Live and Alive. And of course, the podcast and the live dates. RyanCickler.com is where you go. Take a quick break. Be right back right after this. Home Title Lock. If you're a homeowner in America, you need to hear this. There's a new kind of real estate fraud going around. It's called title theft. The FBI has been warning about it. Yeah, you've heard about it. Your home, your equity. That's the target. Here's how it works. Criminals forge your signature, use a fake notary, file one document with the county, and on paper, they now own your home. They can take out loans against your equity, even sell your property. And you don't find out until notices start showing up in the mail. That's why I partnered with Home Title Lock. They can help protect your equity and tell you today, if you're already a victim, don't wait until it's too late. It's Home Title Lock. Right, Dawson? Use our promo code, Adam, @hometitlelock.com and you'll get a free title history report and a free trial of their million dollar triple lock protection. That's 247 monitoring of your title records, urgent alerts to any changes, and if fraud occurs, their US based restoration team will spend up to $1 million to fix it. Find out why we trust Home Title Lock. That's Home Title Lock promo code, Adam O'Reilly Auto Parts. You know these guys that keep your car on the road? It's all they do. And you don't need a guy stuck on the shoulder looking like a dope, steam coming out from under the hood. Friendly, helpful service people that actually know their stuff. Not just some kid who'd rather be on his phone. I go to O'Reilly. Been to O'Reilly. I was getting my car prepped for a race a few months ago. I was going to O'Reilly. They got a bunch of them. I go whatever. I go the Glendale one, I'd go the one up on Foothill in La Crescenta. Thousands of parts and accessories stocked in store and online so you don't have to panic when the check engine light appears. Need wiper swap brake lights out These pros will help you. They'll get what you need. Or they can hook you up with a local shop if you're not a DIY type. But why not work on it? So whether you're a gearhead or you don't know a lug nut from a donut, they'll walk you through it. No attitude, just real help. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Hey, Adam. This is Donnie Lee Berriger. When are you ever gonna get off your ass and check out the flat earth, all right? It's the mother of all conspiracies. It's the big lie, you know, with a globe. All right, it's time to wake up. People are already seeing it. It's time for you Hollywood folks start bringing it to full attention. Because once this is out there, everything changes. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Yeah, buddy. Gary Cannon is in studio. Gary's a very funny stand up. Comedians got dates all over the place. Website garycannon.com is where you can go. I've seen Gary perform many times. Also been overseas with the truth.
Alicia Krause
Yes.
Adam Carolla
And does the world's greatest gig, which is audience warmup.
Alicia Krause
I just worked this new season of the Masked Singer is up and filming right now. So we're filming it these last couple weeks. We're almost done.
Adam Carolla
It's good.
Alicia Krause
It's a great gig. It's a little chaotic over there. Yeah, it takes a little while to film those shows and they require a ton of energy from that audience. But at the end of the day, it's a great gig. And I get to be home at 10 o' clock at night and sleep in my own bed. It's the best.
Adam Carolla
It's a funny. I mean, it's an interesting gig for a comedian because it's literally you're up there and you go, look, let me tell you story. And then you get into it and then you go. And then my dad from his deathbed looked up to me and he said, gary, we gotta go. And then you go, okay, here we go now. Lot of energy. And you just walk off the stage. Like it's such the opposite of being a comedian in a weird way because you can be in the middle of a joke, middle of a story, you can be talking about losing your border collie to aids. And at the very End before you get to the part where you drove to the vet to be to say goodbye for the last time. Someone just winds their finger, goes, here we go.
Alicia Krause
The bell goes off.
Adam Carolla
You just walk, you a lot of energy and you walk.
Alicia Krause
I also have to be careful because as a comic I have to watch myself because I've worked on shows, daytime shows, where they give stuff away to the audience. And then as a comic, I instinctively start to make fun of the giveaway, right? So we gave away one time a, a $100 gift card to Breeze Airlines. And I didn't know what that was, was a new airline. And I started making fun of the gift card after we gave it away. And I said, you guys better book something quickly before they go out of business. I said, the CEO of Breeze wanted to be here, but they couldn't find a flight. So all of a sudden I get a text message from the show. Meet us in the control booth after the show. And apparently the people from Breeze were there and they don't like it when you're making fun of a product that they're donating to help pay the bills for the show. They frown upon that. So as much as you want to, as a comic to make fun of that stuff, you have to pull back and say, okay, this is what's paying their bills. And paying my bills.
Adam Carolla
Well, as I've said many times, it was my dream to be an audience warmup guy. And as a matter of fact, you know, I think when you, when you enter show business or when, when you enter anything, but you have some notion about working in a, in a field, you know, like I wanted to be a boxing coach and I was for a while, but I didn't have dreams of owning a chain of boxing gyms. I just my sort of as high as I got as I would teach class and have a couple of private students. And I did, but that's kind of where the bar was for me. And when I started thinking about comedy and show business as a way to make a living, I looked at it as a way to make a living. I did not look at it. I wasn't going to be Vin Dapona and I wasn't going to be George Carlin. I wasn't going to be a big producer. I wasn't going to have a high rise office with a corner view. I was just like, I want to just make a living doing comedy or some form of entertainment or something. It was all good for me. Good enough. And about as high as my bar got set Was audience warm up. Guy. I knew Jim o'. Doherty. I knew he. Guy worked at Acme with guy, did all the warmups for, you know, American Gladiator and foul ups, bloops and Blunders or whatever. I knew how much money he was making. Sure. And I was like, oh my God. Also, there's a kind of a math. You do a little bit of a poor person's math. But sorry. But it's like I remember when Molly Ringwald, who I was friends with as a kid, was making all her movies and doing all this kind of stuff. I was friends with her family and at some point the banks were paying like 10% on a T bill or whatever it was. This is mid-80s, late-80s, whatever it is. And I was like, molly Ringwald has a million dollars in the bank and she's getting 10%. So she makes $100,000 a year off of interest. She never has to work again. She's done, she's done. I was making $9,000 a year. My dad made $21,000. I was like, you're making $100,000 a year, you're done. You never have to work. It's kind of a poor person's math. When I heard about guys making 1,500 bucks a week or 1800 bucks a week or whatever doing audience warmup, I'm like, done. You, you would never have to work. That would be it. That'd be your job.
Alicia Krause
Well, it's interesting because every show that I do is different. I think for me, my favorite show that I ever got to do warm up for was Conan. Because I was such a fan of Conan for years. I literally would show up at 4 o'.
Gary Cannon
Clock.
Alicia Krause
I'd start the warm up at 4:15. Show would start at 4:30. I could be walking to my car at 4:33. The problem with that show was it's a comedy show. So if they aren't laughing and they're not ready to laugh, when Conan gets out there, it's on me. Daytime is a lot different because they don't have to be laughing. It's more of a feel good show. So as long as they're applauding, smiling, having a good time, the pressure's off of me.
Adam Carolla
Well, oh, Jim, the guy who did Married with Children. That was the one.
Alicia Krause
See, I would think that that show, because it was so crazy high energy that it was almost like a mass singer vibe where they would want that show at 110 miles per hour the entire show.
Adam Carolla
Well, I will tell you There is a almost religious, like, following that, that audience warm up. Guys get by the producers. Where we need this guy. We need this guy. And I'm like, who cares? Get anybody or get nobody? Like, oh, no, no, no, we need this guy. Some of it's, like, almost superstitious. Like, I did a pilot with this guy, and it went. Then I did another pilot, and it got picked up. We're in season five, so we got to get this guy. But either way, I always looked at it as the greatest gig ever, because it was like, show business, but not totally show business, but like a job which show business isn't, but you get paid. I just. It's consistent. Always I was that my dream was audience warm.
Alicia Krause
And think about this, too, Adam, talking about these producers that always use the same guy. Chuck Lorre has used mark sweet for 30 years on every show, and Chuck always has a show in production. I think he's the only guy, the only producer right now that has maybe three sitcoms that are actually running on air. So, I mean, Mark is consistently working. And I think there is that kind of preconceived notion that if Mark's not with us.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
Alicia Krause
The show's gonna go in the toilet. It's.
Adam Carolla
It's. Well, there's. There's. Like I said, some of it's practical and some it's a little superstitious, but good luck jar.
Alicia Krause
And. And here's the other thing, too, which I always found interesting. You would try to get into a sitcom that maybe was using the same guy over and over again. So a producer would call you up and they would try and get you in. Maybe you knew the producer. So the problem would become, let's say they hire me and it goes poorly. Well, then the show is going to go back to that producer that hired me and say, why'd you hire this guy?
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Alicia Krause
If it doesn't go well for a guy like Mark Sweet. Well, he's tested. They know him. It's not going to be blamed on him.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Alicia Krause
He's a commodity to that show. So it's harder for them to justify.
Adam Carolla
But it's like, it's a gig. It's a gig like being a caddy to a professional golfer who's on the tour for 20 years. It's like, you're not a professional golfer. He gets the credit, but you get paid real well. And it's still a better job than 99.9% of people. And you're on a golf course.
Alicia Krause
Right.
Adam Carolla
With professionals all day. Even though you're not in the tournament, but you're getting paid, but you don't have the pressure of the guy who's playing. It's just a. I was gonna go for. It's the showbiz version of being a caddie. And as a caddie, you have to be good at golf. Like, you have to know the game. You have. There's a skill to it.
Alicia Krause
I used to love when Conan would take the show on the road and we'd go to New York or we would go to San Diego. And I just knew every crew member was there at 7 in the morning, setting up, getting everything ready, and I would breeze in at 4 o', clock, having slept in. I drank the night before hungover. And I could just show up and just because I knew the format, knew how to do it so quickly and efficiently, and I would get there and you could see the resentment on the other people's faces. Oh, yeah, this guy's just showing up. He's asking us to bring his box of T shirts down. He's looking for something to eat. Like, they were just so annoyed at me that I was showing up last minute. But, you know, again, it is a. A different skill set that a lot of comics can't do it because there's a lot of moving parts that people think they can do it and they can't.
Adam Carolla
Well, Gary's very fast on his feet. He's open for me quite a few times doing standup, and I can hear him. I can feel the skill of, like a good magician isn't a warlock. They have a skill, and it looks as if they're a warlock, but they're so good with their hands that you don't realize what really they're doing. But that's only from lots of repetition and lots of skill. All right, this is interesting. I'm interested in this. So I was at the Home Depot last week on Friday, and I was heading to the Home Depot, as I'm apt to do. We'll go there a lot. I've been there a lot. I don't know. There's not many Americans that have been to Home Depot more than me who don't work at a Home Depot. And I bet I have many ex employees beat as well, because they may have only worked at a Home Depot for two and a half years, whereas I've been going nonstop for 35 years to home Depots. When I was a carpenter, I was going to the Home Depot. And then later on, I built my own houses and did my own projects. But I was always at the Home Depot and so I was going over there and Andrew, who does our vlogs and other things around here, Andrew said, well, if you're going to the Home Depot, why don't I just grab my gimbal lipstick camera? I don't know, lollipop camera, I don't know what it is, but there's these new great cameras. You just hold them up like a stick. Osmo. The OSMO, it sits 8 inches tall, it's the size of a broom handle. That's eight inches. And you just hold it and you can film everything. And the good news is you don't really draw any attention. Cause it's not a big rig on your shoulder with battery packs and cables and stuff. He just follows me around and I just make my way through the Home Depot and we get a fun little kind of man on the street, he kind of logged and I know the subject, so he just grabs his OSMO and he follows me around. So we walked through the Home Depot, I got my stuff, we were doing our thing and then we got to the checkout counter. Now they have the self checkout. But for me the self checkout takes longer than the non self checkout because I don't know what I'm doing. And it's also not a good deal for Home Depot cause it's always three employees trying to help me do the self checkout. Every time they go to the airport now and they have the kiosk, it's like self checkout. It's always somebody has to come around from the back, stand next to me, rub stuff, then go. I don't know why the barcode's not working. Before you know it, it's much more work than if she just stood behind the counter and I just paid her. But anyway, I'm checking out and Andrew and I are standing there. We're not filming per se, but I noticed something. I noticed there's a woman in front of us. Now she's not dressed in any particular way. She's a middle aged woman, white woman, she's got shorts, like jeans cut off. She's got tape measure on her belt which suggests something. Tape on the belt, it's a thing. And I'm just looking at what she bought. And what she bought is dowels and plywood, but the plywood was cut. And I was just looking at it and I said this isn't going to work to Andrew. And Andrew said, what do you mean it's not going to work? And I Said, whatever's going on in front of us here with this, this cart and this woman, whatever she's doing, it's not gonna work. It's not gonna work. And then Andrew, who doesn't know anything about building or really anything actually. Well, okay, movies, stuff, video games, I guess, but whatever. He knows stuff about stuff, but not stuff that other people need to know. But he said, he goes, he kept saying to me like, what are you saying? And I go, I am telling you what's going on. On this cart in front of me with this piece of plywood, she had a piece of three quarter ply. It was like shop grade, I don't know, birch or something. It was plywood, three quarter ply. She had it cut in the back and then she had a couple of shelves cut out of it, like one by, you know, like one foot by like four foot or something. And I just looked at it and I kept saying, this is not going to work. Whatever she's doing, it's not going to work. Now I don't know why I said that because I've never said that. I've been to Home Depot 7,000 times. I've never said. I've had a million people in front of me, behind me, they're buying pvc, they're buying fittings. Sometimes people are just buying water and toilet paper. Like people go there for provisions, you know, I've never made the comment it's not going to work. But I kept saying, it's not gonna work.
Alicia Krause
Something bothered you about this cart?
Adam Carolla
Something I was putting a composite of sort of her. Although it was not like she was wearing high heels and clamp on earrings or anything. She was just kind of middle aged woman and looked like a DIY kind of person. But I just said, this isn't gonna work, this isn't gonna work. And Andrew just kept looking at me going, all right. And I go, film the cart, film the cart. And Andrew's like, I don't. Okay. But he didn't want to get caught eavesdropping, you know, filming. No, my apprehension wasn't filming the cart. My apprehension was being with you at a Home Depot, filming a woman we don't know. That was what I was trying to avoid. He's very sensitive. Andrew is. Oh, he's respectful. He loves his mommy, I mean his mom. He's respectful. The point is, I kept shoving him going, film, film the cart. And he was like filming me and I was like, turn around, film the cart. And he was like, ah, yeah. He was worried that the optics of it were gonna seem weird also, by the way, I was filming the cart. I was filming you to. I was filming you with the cart in the background. Because the osmo shoots on 4k, so I can blow up that image.
Gary Cannon
So that way I'm not just going.
Adam Carolla
Up to this stranger and filming her cart kind of blowing the operation.
Alicia Krause
Is this woman in front of you aware that there's this kind of mumbling behind her?
Adam Carolla
No.
Alicia Krause
No.
Adam Carolla
To the best of my knowledge. She doesn't know. No. And she wasn't aware because I wasn't.
Gary Cannon
Going up to her cart and just filming it.
Adam Carolla
No, I was. I was. You know, when you want to film somebody or something, you have to go out and pretend like you're looking at something else, you know? And then at some point, you come around as if you're surveying the landscape, but there's George Clooney with his dog. You know what I mean? But you're just filming the horizon. I. You know, it was that he's got. He's. Andrew's got a lot of K. So that was good. So I knew he was able to sort of get. I just didn't. I wanted him to get it before she pushed it off. And I don't know why it was important. Andrew, we've done this a few times. I've never yelled at you to film anyone's cart, right? And. No, no. And what was I saying? Was I just saying it's. Whatever she's doing, it's not going to work. You were saying, it's not going to work.
Gary Cannon
She doesn't know what she's going to do.
Adam Carolla
She doesn't know. It's not going to fit into whatever closet she's trying to fix. And whatever she's making, it's going to fall apart. And so I kept saying, she doesn't know what she's doing. It's not gonna work. That's all. I don't know why. So then we finished up our business at the counter, and she goes and pushes off into the parking lot. And then I yell, andrew, follow her. Cause something's gonna be. We're gonna find something. And then I said to Andrew, as we're walking out in the parking lot, I go, we gotta find her. Cause she's gonna be trying to get this into a 93 Saab, and it's not gonna fit, right? And Andrew again was like, I don't know what we're doing, but we're doing it. So we. We start heading out in the parking lot. And then sure enough, we get to her car, and she's got a VW like Jetta, which is not gonna accommodate three quarters of a sheet of plywood. It's not gonna fit. And so I'm going. And I. Turns out I'm parked right across from her. So I'm going, andrew, shoot her. Shoot. She's trying to get the plywood and the bed. Andrew's like, he didn't want to be made. You know what I mean? So I get it. So at some point, we got in the car. We got in the car and we. I said, we're just gonna circle. We're gonna circle past her. She's not gonna get the dick. I was like, film out the window. Film out the window. And. Okay, we got it. Sorry. This is me backing out. Oh, you think we're going out this exit? We are not. We're going on a victory lap. We are going on a victory lap. Get your window down. So Andrew's filming me, but I'm going her way.
Alicia Krause
That's her Mini Cooper.
Adam Carolla
Or you'll see. Okay? She's got a piece of ply that's nowhere near going to fit to the back of her car. And she's not there because she's inside her car on the telephone. She's having to call somebody with a truck or some service to come get her out of the parking lot of the Home Depot. And then I just declared victory. I just said, andrew, I told you this wasn't gonna work. I told you it wasn't gonna work. From inside the store, I had no idea what she was driving. Also, I wouldn't assumed that someone would pick up a big piece of plywood driving a Jetta. But I knew something was wrong. I knew some. I'm like a cop, you know what I mean, who shows up at a bar and I'm sniffing things out. And I just got a feeling. I had this feeling, and I kept saying it to Andrew, something's wrong. And it's not. It's not going to work. Like, you know what I was like in the movie Predator? Remember the Indian guy? He was just like, he didn't know the Predator. He didn't know the alien. He didn't know. He knew something was wrong. He just kept saying something was wrong. He was spooked. I was like that Indian guy. I took my shirt off. I took a hunting knife, and I just dragged it across my chest. And I stood there in a log waiting for her to come out of the Jeddah. She never came out.
Alicia Krause
You think she's still there.
Adam Carolla
She's still there.
Alicia Krause
Andrew followed her home.
Adam Carolla
She had to call somebody to pick up her piece of ply. So yeah, what can you do?
Alicia Krause
I mean, because you've been there enough times. What can you do in a situation like that? I mean, there are people in the parking lot with pickup trucks that will obviously transport it, right?
Adam Carolla
You got two, you got three choices. You can call somebody, you know, with a pickup truck to come help you out, but that could be a minute. Cuz who knows where they are and they're not gonna drop everything. You could drag your sheet of ply back in, go to the panel saw which is in the back where they cut her shelves in the first place and tell the guy, just rip this shit in half. Now she probably has a plan for the plywood at home which doesn't involve two pieces, so she probably doesn't want to do that. But you can walk it back in, go find the guy and tell him just to rip it. And he'll probably just rip it in half or whatever so it'll fit. There's that. That was me, Billy, Billy the Indian on a log, just standing there with a bowie knife dragged across my chest at the Home Depot. You could drag it in, you could have it cut. Okay, you could go back in and buy yourself some tie downs or something. Not really bungee cords, but like tie downs and like throw it on the roof of the Jetta and strap the thing around and then do the.
Alicia Krause
Like a Christmas tree?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, like a Christmas tree where you give that classy move, which is. Then you drive with your left hand out of the. I would like to. You know what, I'd like some sort of graph. How many miles have you driven with your hand out the window, hanging onto a mattress or box spring or piece of plywood or Christmas tree versus how successful you are. I would argue the more miles you've covered with one hand out hanging onto a sofa, the bigger the loser you are. And if there was a cigarette in that hand, you are the winner. You have won. Cuz I would bet like if you took the winners in life, like, let's just think, I'll bet you Elon Musk hasn't traveled one foot with his hand out the window of a car. I had to own a car for like three years. I literally have probably pushed cars further than a lot of people have driven cars in the first three years of driving. Like I bump started. I had cars ride to bump start them, constantly pushed. I pushed tons of cars and motorcycles in my in my life.
Alicia Krause
But by the way, if you're holding the mattress right, if you can, like, what are you going to do if it starts slipping? There's nothing. It's just a matter of you feeling it that you.
Adam Carolla
It's the equivalent to you got the kid sitting next to you in the passenger seat. You got a bench seat on a truck and you slam the brakes on. You just put your arm out like it doesn't stop. He's going through the windshield. Your arm is not going to stop or impede a real thing. And yeah, if that plywood or that box spring is coming off the roof of the jet, your hand is not going to do it. But there's something emotional to it.
Alicia Krause
You feel like you're doing something.
Adam Carolla
It's also kind of a. It's an extra 20% that maybe you need just to get it. But she's gonna have to go with the tie down. Maybe a ratcheting strap, go back in and cut it or call somebody. Now, I dropped Andrew off here and then I circled back and I said, I gotta go back.
Alicia Krause
No.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yes, I did.
Alicia Krause
How far from here is the Home Depot?
Adam Carolla
Five minutes maybe.
Alicia Krause
Oh, close.
Adam Carolla
I'm going close.
Alicia Krause
Okay.
Adam Carolla
So I said, I'm going back. Now, Andrew. Now. You guys are mildly amused by this. But Andrew was blown away because Andrew stood there in line while I kept saying, something's wrong, something's wrong. It's not going to work. It's not going to work. You guys hear it secondhand and you go, yeah, that's a weird. But if you're there, Andrew's walking around with a 5,000 yard stare. The whole rest of the day. It was like I was Ethan Hawke and you were Denzel Washington and this was Training Day. Opening my eyes to a whole new world. Yes, yes. And you had. That's when you learned that the shaman type magic, that is the ace man, right? Like, Andrew just couldn't get it out. He could not get it out of his head.
Alicia Krause
But two things. Just a thought, right? If she were to get it tied down to the roof, would somebody at Home Depot help her do that? Or is there a charge or a tip? Something like that. And secondly, could she have hired somebody in the parking lot to drive it to where she needed to go for $50 or whatever the cost would have been?
Adam Carolla
Well, Andrew was explaining, and again, the kids with the apps, there's a thing called lug. Oh, and you, you call lug. And lug, I guess, meets you in the parking lot of the Ikea and takes that furniture set that you thought you could get into your V Volvo, but you couldn't. So, like, lug is just dudes with trucks. I mean, if you got a truck and you speak some English, you got an app and a phone, you make a living just driving around. Cause there's tons of people need stuff moved around, and they pay the coffee table brought from this place to that place or whatever. So Andrew says you can call a place called Luggage, and they'll show up with their. Is it. Will they show up, like, in 20 minutes? Is it. Ooh, it's not Uber speed, is it? Like, There's a guy seven minutes away.
Gary Cannon
It's not Uber.
Adam Carolla
It's like, 30 minutes. I know, because I one time bought a piece of plywood.
Gary Cannon
No, I'm just kidding.
Adam Carolla
It was from a couch that I was moving, but it took about 30 to 40 minutes. But it was great. What do they charge? Is it. I mean, how much more than, like, let's say, an Uber. Is it? Oh, it was, I think, like, 60. 60 bucks.
Gary Cannon
70 bucks.
Adam Carolla
But it was worth it to move it. How far? Angelino Heights to Toluca Lake. No one knows what that is. So 20 minutes. 20 minutes.
Alicia Krause
But is their job ending right when they drop it off at your house, or will they help you bring it in?
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, it ends right when they drop off.
Alicia Krause
Oh. There's no other help, so you got to figure that part out.
Adam Carolla
But they'll help get it into the back of their truck, right? Yeah, they'll help you put it into their truck and take it out and then moving it into your apartment. That's on you. All right. The other thing I was noticing.
Alicia Krause
Wait, you go back to Home Depot?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Not there.
Alicia Krause
She's gone.
Adam Carolla
She's gone.
Alicia Krause
How long of that time from when you left to when you went back, how long would that be?
Adam Carolla
It was only about 10 minutes, so I don't know. She must have had somebody she knew. Maybe. I don't know. I'm getting into too much speculation now.
Alicia Krause
Are you bummed that she's not still there?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I am. I'm upset.
Gary Cannon
She.
Adam Carolla
You know, here's what I'm gonna think. Here's what I think she did now. I think she may have taken the ply and just walked it back into the Home Depot and, like, leaned it in the entry and just went, like, told somebody, I'm just gonna go out and grab my truck or whatever and just got somebody to come back and get it. Cause she was gone. The ply was gone. I walked to the spot. The spot was empty. I got down on a knee and I took my finger and I dragged it on the asphalt. I did what Vin Diesel did in Fast and Furious 5 where he's like. When he was recreating Letty's accident out on the highway. You know, there's that scene. It was a great scene. He could see it all. He went to the highway where Letty. He saw skid marks, and he, like, got down on one knee and he was like, what happened? And then he started envisioning the whole thing with her getting. Swerving and going off the side of the road and the bad guy shooting her in the head and everything. And then he was like, I gotta go kill that guy. But I was like, I don't think that's. You're being fair to the guy, because I don't know where you got all that information by just going down on one knee and looking down. He dragged his finger and I. I tasted it and I was like, synthetic. She's running synthetic. Tastes like. Is that Valvoline? No, it's Castrol. I did. Was it a. Is that a mixed viscosity or is it a 30 weight? That's a 30 weight. Any additive in there? So I was trying to figure out where she was, you know what I mean? Because Vince in Fast and Furious 4 found out where the guy was because he did that thing where he licked his finger again and there was nitromethane in the fuel. And there's only one guy who sells nitromethane in these parts. And he went to pay him a visit.
Alicia Krause
I can just. The vision I have is you pulling in a parking lot, smiling ear to ear, boy. On Christmas Day. And then you get closer, closer, closer. You see she's gone. And that smile goes away.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Alicia Krause
Like you just opened up a crappy gift because you wanted her to be there.
Adam Carolla
I wanted her to be there.
Alicia Krause
She was long at home. I don't think she brought it in. I just think that that would have taken too long.
Adam Carolla
What'd she do with the plywood, smart guy?
Alicia Krause
I don't know. Maybe she hired. That was my thought. She hired somebody for the park.
Adam Carolla
Literally was like eight minutes. Like, she would have really had, like. Listen, nobody's faster flagging Mexicans than this guy. But even that would be a personal best for me. You know what I mean? Cause the guys in the corral that are waiting to work that ice is going after, they don't have a pickup truck there. They're going to jump into Your pickup truck. So you have to find someone who is exiting. And you'd have to do the move we did when we were kids on a Saturday night. Remember when you're 16 and you'd go to the liquor store and wait for the guy to walk in. Can you buy us a beer? Here's some beer. Can you get us a beer?
Gary Cannon
Right.
Adam Carolla
Like you're walking and talking. It's never a good sign when you're talking to someone and they never stop. You got like, you're making your pitch from the parking lot to the front of the liquor store. You know, they're just walking the whole time. And you're just walking with them going, here's 10 bucks. You just Mickey's big mouth. And then you go. And they just walk in.
Alicia Krause
When we were kids, we always knew of a place that was like an hour and a half away that would sell to kids. They would accept your fake id, but you'd also have to buy other things. So the store would make a profit. Yeah, so they would make you buy, like just nonsense. So. But literally the store would be like 90 minutes away from the house.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And there must have been some sort of exchange program because there were kids who lived next to that liquor store, but yet they had to drive 90 minutes your direction. They knew there was no such thing as not driving. Yeah, we had the Asian run liquor store where they're just like, just.
Alicia Krause
They don't care.
Adam Carolla
We don't care. We don't know. And by the way, we can't gauge your age. The white man, round eyes, age. We don't care. Just whatever you are.
Alicia Krause
When I was in high school, there was a guy, and this was just shows you how long ago it was. Now it's probably so much easier that he would make fake IDs. And everybody in our high school had the exact same name on their id. It was a guy named David Mozan. Everybody had his id and he was furious. I don't know how they decided to use his name, but it was like.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he went to your high school?
Alicia Krause
Yeah, he went to our house.
Adam Carolla
I thought he was dead or something.
Alicia Krause
No, everybody had that id. And it was like eight of us that had David Mozan and we all knew his address by heart and his birthday. It was. Was so funny.
Adam Carolla
David McLovin. Mozan.
Alicia Krause
David Mozan.
Adam Carolla
All right, Gary, we're going to say goodbye to you. We'll bring Dawson in, we'll do some news, and we'll give you plugs. This one is attack. Go ahead. Yeah. Throw to Alicia. Alicia. Oh, I. Yeah, I don't. Right. Because we didn't discuss any of this. Was the problem. It is on the rundown, but I didn't know if that was a thing or not. All right, so we got Alicia Crouse doing the news here. Yeah. Correct. Yeah.
Gary Cannon
If you could just retake that.
Adam Carolla
All right. All right, Gary, we're going to bring Alicia Krause in here and do the news. We'll bid adieu to you.
Alicia Krause
Thank you for having me.
Adam Carolla
Always a pleasure, my friend. And we'll do the news and Alicia Krause right after this Stopbox. All right. I've seen Stopbox in action, and I've got to say, it is pretty impressive. No keys, no codes, no batteries. Just this smart mechanical box that opens with a quick hand motion. The design is all about speed and security. You can lock up your firearm but still get it instantly if you need it. It's kind of one of those, why didn't somebody think of this sooner? Ideas, which is always a great means. It's a great idea. The craftsmanship is great. Made right here in the usa. You can feel that solid build quality just by picking it up, you know, like a good tool in your hand. And because it's 100% mechanical, you never have to deal with dead batteries or glitchy electronics. I've seen them tested, handled a demo, and they really deliver secure, simple, and fast. Plus, they're TSA compliant, so it's perfect if you travel with your firearm. It's a great piece of technology. Check it out. Right, Dawson. For a limited time, our listeners get 15 off at Stopbox. When you use Code Adam at checkout, head to stopbox USA.com and use code ADAM for 15 off your entire order. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. This October, fear is free on Pluto tv with horror movie collections from Paranormal Activity, the Ring, you will die in seven days, Scream, and From Dusk till Dawn. This is my kind of place. And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Or the world ending chaos in 28 days later.
Gary Cannon
There's something in the blood.
Adam Carolla
All the scares, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Thanks, man. Just calling to let you know they're remaking your favorite film Cliffhanger, and I'm pretty sure they replace Sylvester Stallone's character with a female lead. Get it on. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Yeah, I get what everyone does now, but they don't have to do it.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Like it's a remake. You don't have to do a fresh sheet of paper on a remake. And you remake Jaws, but don't remake it with a polar bear. Do it with a shark. That's all I'm saying.
Interviewer/Reporter
Do it with like a whale shark instead of a great white.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. They're too docile for the whale sharks. I'm just saying it doesn't, you know, Karate Kid doesn't need a black guy or it doesn't need a woman or doesn't just remake or don't remake and just make something else.
Interviewer/Reporter
You know, the actress that popped into my head when I heard that they were redoing it, that would actually kind of serve that role. Well, Cliffhanger, you don't like her? Charlize Theron.
Adam Carolla
Charlize Theron on Cliffhanger.
Interviewer/Reporter
Cause she does a lot of, like, action roles. She's done those, like Netflix action movies. I mean, what other female lead is like super hardcore action, does a lot of her own stunts? I can't think of anything.
Adam Carolla
It'll be fine. But just make a new movie. That's all I'm saying.
Interviewer/Reporter
I still haven't seen the original. What should that be like Krause House viewing this weekend?
Adam Carolla
You've gotten yourself, you've done lowered yourself down to a zero with that comment. It's one of the greatest films of all time.
Interviewer/Reporter
You knew that about me, though. We had this whole conversation with Stephen Baldwin.
Adam Carolla
I knew about it, but I block it out. I always block it out.
Interviewer/Reporter
All the bad parts of me you just block out.
Adam Carolla
Well, that would take forever, but the main bad parts I block out. Yes. All right, what's going on in the news? Alicia Krause.
Interviewer/Reporter
So it's kind of interesting. I think maybe some Hollywood lefties are coming around to the fact that they were jerks to, I don't know, half Americans for the last 10 plus years that Donald Trump has been on the political scene. Daily show host Jon Stewart mourns the fact that we've lost the ability to love people in different parties. And then we have clips of that in a second. But first, we're going to start with Jennifer Lawrence saying, quote, I don't really know if I should speak out on Trump and politics anymore because she thinks that it's adding fuel to the fire that's ripping America apart.
Adam Carolla
Well, you, if they knew anything they should say something, but they don't really know anything. They think they know the things, though, I. I guess. Is this Jennifer Lawrence?
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah, this is Jennifer Lawrence. She's on a film, you know, doing the press tour for her new movie with what's his face from Twilight, and it's called Die My Love.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, what's his name? All right, we'll listen.
Interviewer/Reporter
Not a bad idea. What do you mean, a revolution? You have been politically outspoken in the past in the first Trump administration. You know, you had a lot to say.
Adam Carolla
I'm curious.
Interviewer/Reporter
How you feel about talking out now. I don't really know if I should. I think, like, the first Trump administration was so wild and just how can we let this stand? I felt like I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. But as we've learned, election after election, celebrities do not make a difference whatsoever on who people vote for. And so then what am I doing? I'm just sharing my opinion on something that's gonna just add fuel to a fire that's ripping the country apart. I mean, we are so divided. I think I'm in a complicated recalibration because I'm also an artist, and I. With this temperature and the way that things can turn out, I don't want to start turning people off to films and to art that could change consciousness or change the world because they don't like my political opinions. I want to protect my.
Adam Carolla
All right, I get it. Look, it's true. You have no impact anymore. And B, there used to be a thing with actors and actresses where they were like, I don't want anyone to know anything about me because when I play the role of this, I don't want people thinking about.
Interviewer/Reporter
I don't want that in the back of their mind.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Gay or straight or where my politics are really anything. I just want to disappear into these roles, and then people won't have to have these preconceived anythings, and. Which is a human thing to do. If you heard a guy killed his wife or you heard a guy's got.
Interviewer/Reporter
A dui, sometimes that happens. Like it affects your.
Adam Carolla
Dui is no.
Interviewer/Reporter
Big deal to you.
Adam Carolla
It's not gonna. It's acting wise. A DUI doesn't draw. It's not one way or the other. It's an actor who went to a party who got drunk and then drove himself home. I don't think of him as a bad person, per se.
Interviewer/Reporter
Like, he made a mistake, but killing your wife is like, a very different type of mistake.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah. So DUI is something that can happen to somebody, but it doesn't make me think you're this way or that way.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
It just. It's a mistake you made, but it's not gonna affect your role in what I think of your acting. But if you were into. If you just announced you were Muslim or into Santeria or something, then I'd be watching you thinking about that.
Interviewer/Reporter
Really?
Adam Carolla
I would.
Interviewer/Reporter
I don't practice Santeria, though.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Like the song. So sublime. Right. All right, my point is this. A little more mystery and a little less history.
Interviewer/Reporter
Got it.
Adam Carolla
That's the way I like to roll.
Interviewer/Reporter
I think she and I might be similar ages. She's married now. She has a kid now. She's doing kind of more, quote, unquote, serious art. You know, where she used to do insane blockbuster movies like the Hunger Games or that one space movie with Chris Pratt. And I think that maybe she's being mature and introspective here. Now, I do take issue with her a little bit of, like, well, what if I'm a part of something that can make a difference? Like art that can make a difference.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I know.
Interviewer/Reporter
And it's like, how much art. I do think that culture is important. I mean, politics is downstream of culture is, you know, something that we talk about on the conservative side of the aisle all the time. But I don't think there's gonna be a sole piece of art that Jennifer Lawrence or anybody else, Steven Spielberg or anybody else is a part of that's going to, quote, unquote, change the minds of Trump voters.
Adam Carolla
Robert Pattinson, by the way.
Interviewer/Reporter
Oh, that's his name.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Now, okay, so here's. I should feel. Okay. The thing that always bothers me about all the blowhard celebrities is when they go, here's the time we're living in and here's what we're dealing with and all that. I always go, but as opposed to what we just got four years of Joe Biden, Joe Biden is sort of asleep at the wheel, kind of along for the ride. I mean, all your stuff that you called cheap fakes and stuff like that, at the time, I said, I don't know what you're even talking about. What is a cheap fake? It's video of him being out of it at a party.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yep.
Adam Carolla
You're calling it a cheap bank. And then you're going, it's just a piece of. You know, because the video, it's just a slice. I had a comedian in here arguing with me, like, it's just a piece of the video.
Interviewer/Reporter
That's how he is all the time.
Adam Carolla
That's what they're going. The video is just a piece. I go, you know the P. Diddy video of him smacking the chick and kicking her in the hallway? That's just a piece of a video.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
There's a video that runs by the elevator 24 7, seven days a week. Most of the time there's nothing going on or family walking to the elevator. Once in a while, P. Diddy kicks the shit out of his old lady and then we cut it and then we look at it and then we judge P. Diddy. And you're saying that's edited. Yes, it is, because otherwise we'd have to watch 700 hours of video to get to the part. So when Joe Biden is brain dead at the Juneteenth party on the lawn. Yes. It's not the entire Chaka Khan concert.
Interviewer/Reporter
Or the G7 summit or going up and down the stairs.
Adam Carolla
It's not the entire thing. It's not the entire thing. It's a film of him falling down the stairs. It's not a film of him sitting on the airplane or sitting in the limousine on the way to the airport. Yes, I got it. It's edited. Yeah, everything is edited so we can see it all. Surveillance. Every piece of ring doorbell footage where somebody steals a package and you put it on the news or tries to set a house on fire and it ends up on the. That's edited from the. Nothing that was happening on the ring doorbell camera before.
Interviewer/Reporter
Whatever. Like the Channel 7 Eyewitness News at night has footage of.
Adam Carolla
So you guys invented something called a cheap fake. Now you had a brain dead corrupt guy in the office for four years, you had a guy who was corrupt, his son was corrupt, cutting deals, enriching himself all over the place, chronic liar, left the border wide open and used the auto pan. And just as underlings run the country. So who are we comparing Trump to?
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah, that's true. Because I think in 2016, leftists like Jennifer Lawrence were freaking out and I think that maybe they're, they're like, oh man, maybe we overreacted to too much. Because if everything, we've talked about this many times before, if everyone and everything is Nazi, then people get. We're just jaded of hearing that all the time so that they'll believe you when you say it.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Interviewer/Reporter
But in 2016, people left, right and center didn't understand or know how he would govern. Now we saw how Trump governed then. We had the horrible for us on the right and most of America think we saw the horrible. Four years of Biden governing and now we have Trump again. And I think that maybe she's like, it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
Adam Carolla
A reasonable person would go with anybody. It could be a president, could be a camp counselor, or you're going, oh, we're not gonna get Hildegard again. But if you got Hildegard once a summer ago and it was okay, then you're gonna have her again. You can kinda go like, all right, I can deal with this. Yeah, that's what a non a person to have Trump derangement syndrome would do. So maybe she's.
Interviewer/Reporter
It's like when you know the drive to LAX is gonna take you an hour and a half, you're dreading it, but you are anticipating it. So it's not as bad. Cuz you can plan for it. You're saying that leftists have planned for Trump number two.
Adam Carolla
I'm saying it's like you going nuts cuz you think it's gonna take 12 hours to get to LAX, but it only takes an hour and 10 minutes.
Interviewer/Reporter
Got it.
Adam Carolla
And then you have another LAX flight two years later and while other people are going, oh my God, you're going to done it. It's longer than I'd like, but we'll make it. Yes.
Interviewer/Reporter
So Jon Stewart, kind of in this same vein on the same day, talked about a similar thing of like, listen, we can't be ostracizing half of the country. Like we need to have real relationships here. Here we go.
Adam Carolla
Jon Stewart, he's a three dimensional human being who has qualities that I really admire things about him and we've lost that. We've lost the ability to love people. Is he talking about Trump? He's talking about litmus. Okay, wait, is there a top of this or just. He's talking about his uncle.
Interviewer/Reporter
The clips are in a weird place.
Adam Carolla
Okay, he's talking about his uncle. There is no top on this. This is a New Yorker paywall. He's talking about his uncle who voted for Trump.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah, he said, okay, but we just.
Adam Carolla
Need to set it up in the clip because otherwise we don't.
Interviewer/Reporter
So he was saying that he, he loves his uncle. He, he talked about this with New Yorker's David Remnick. I love a good argument. I love different points of view.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, we can show the clip. We'll show the clip now. I thought he was talking about Trump. That's my problem. And by the way, I love him, my uncle, he's a three dimensional human being who has qualities that I really admire. Who's my uncle? Things about him. And we've lost that about my uncle. We've lost the ability to love people like my uncle because we litmus test at every point in every single moment. Note the deep leg cross. I love that. Note the. Put it back. Note the double deep leg cross. Both dudes. Yes. I'm a dude and I'm from the left. And so the audience knows I'll go with the deep leg cross. You know, I'm down with the community. And then as the host who's interviewing the guy at the deep leg cross, I shall engage in the deep blade cross. So, you know, this is not gonna be adversarial. It's not gonna be a tough interview. Now my nuts have fallen asleep now. I was thinking about this because people keep tweeting me now.
Interviewer/Reporter
Oh, gosh.
Adam Carolla
Because there's a new thing afoot. Or maybe a nut that the deep lake cross is a thing. There's a physiological thing going on.
Interviewer/Reporter
Really?
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Interviewer/Reporter
Is it changing bone structure and stuff?
Adam Carolla
Progressives, on average, you're like 30 pounds lighter than the Republican dudes. Yeah, Republican dudes are just bigger dudes.
Interviewer/Reporter
Sometimes with fat, sometimes with muscle.
Adam Carolla
Depends on what part of the country are just husky. A little bit of each, but they're built a little differently. Whereas the Democrats are always like waif models. The dudes are always waif models. And so you can't get that deep leg cross if you got some thigh and some gut on you.
Interviewer/Reporter
You're not going to be a hockey player or like footballer.
Adam Carolla
No, but they're all super wavy, so they're able to get the deep leg cross. Now the thing that's probably tough is Pritzker because they got to go, listen, you're such a woke douche, but you're unable to do the deep leg cross because of your girth. So we really gotta get you on a diet so you can signal it's a present. You present to the audience where you're at, that you have a soft, weak, feminine mind.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Not that the feminine mind's weak, but you think like a chick.
Interviewer/Reporter
I know what you meant.
Adam Carolla
Cross your legs like a chick. Pritzker can't do that. Now when you take the, you know, you take the Obamas and I mean take a guy like Obama. Like Obama's like a 63 year old guy. He's unusually. These people are like unusually thin. Like there is no dad bod. Most guys kind of get into a dad bod as they get a little bit older. These guys never go into their dad bod or Beto o' Rourke or like, any the commentators. There's none of them. They're all not just, like, not fat, but, like, really fit. Like no waistline kind of kind of thing.
Interviewer/Reporter
I don't know if that's fit, though.
Adam Carolla
Well, they're just. They're not. They're not like. They're not like, you know, doing, you know, what do they call that? What's the Sport that they. CrossFit. They're not like that.
Interviewer/Reporter
It's trademarked, so you might have to pay for that.
Adam Carolla
Most guys, when you get in your 50s and 60s, you just get a little bit of a waistline on you. And he doesn't. They don't have that. They just have this thing. I'm not saying they're, you know, paragons of fitness. I'm just saying they just. They don't have that weight on them. And like, Justin Trudeau, like, these guys, you know, Gavin Newsom, they don't have that waist, you know, so they can get deep. Jon Stewart, like, the list goes on. There's no husky guys in that group.
Interviewer/Reporter
That's true.
Adam Carolla
So part of it is a physical part. So it's actual. They're able to pull it off.
Interviewer/Reporter
And the other part is the liberal mental state of having to do the signaling with the leg crossing.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Interviewer/Reporter
Okay.
Adam Carolla
And maybe the leg cross also says I'm fit. Like women with long hair, like, throwing their hair around a lot. Like when they're talking, they'll throw. They'll take their finger and do that move. Or they go so hard with this hair. Yeah, they'll throw it around. I don't know. I don't know why we're stopped on this.
Interviewer/Reporter
Oh, this is the next story.
Adam Carolla
Oh, the next story. Oh, that's right. Because we're going to talk about. But anyway, you show me liberals on a stage, I will show you deep leg cross.
Interviewer/Reporter
Oh, liberal men, specifically.
Adam Carolla
I'm sorry, Liberal men. Liberal men.
Interviewer/Reporter
No, I try to do the. I try to do the Princess Kate. Like, ankle tilt.
Alicia Krause
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Side saddle. Like a young lady should.
Interviewer/Reporter
Exactly. Just try to always follow what Princess Kate does, including ignoring Meghan Markle. Did you see her fake slap. Sloppy kiss for Prince Harry after the Dodgers won the World Series.
Adam Carolla
Meghan.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
No.
Interviewer/Reporter
So obnoxious.
Adam Carolla
I. Listen, you. First off, don't come over here from your land of cricket and pretend to know our baseball. That's what I'm saying.
Interviewer/Reporter
All right, soccer. So this according to the Wall Street Journal and this ties into the video here that we're going to play about the Angel City FC captains publicly condemning one of their teammates. But now there's more and more gay people. And by the way, I love how this is like new news to the mainstream media because I've been hearing this for a very long time in la, in conservative circles, but people within the queer community, specifically queer activists, are upset and speaking out against the gender ideology of like trans people and how they've taken over the movement. There's this new book coming out by this guy named Ben Apple and he was saying in his book CIS White Gay the Making of Gender of a Gender Heretic. It comes out next week and he argues that gender ideology is quote, illiberal, repressive and anti gay. As much as the cult that he was raised in, Limbs of Gods was a fundamentalist sect. He says that he and an increasingly vocal group of gay men, lesbians and bisexual people are now rejecting this. By the way, I have to give kudos to like the British lesbians, the ones that took all the way to the UK Supreme Court, you know, protecting women's spaces and women's sports and not transgendering minors. They like shame on lesbian and liberal feminists here in the United States who didn't have the cojones to do the same thing. And kind of talking about what this guy is talking about, it's like you claim to be a part of our coalition, yet everything that you're doing is damaging our coalition.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Interviewer/Reporter
And I think case in point is you have this female, professional female athlete with the Angel City fc, Elizabeth Eddy. This week, she, the veteran midfielder, spoke up about the integrity of women's soccer.
Adam Carolla
This is the Los Angeles soccer team.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yep, yep. So the women's soccer team.
Adam Carolla
Yuck.
Interviewer/Reporter
So she's been in the national Women's soccer league.
Adam Carolla
This is, by the way, three strikes. It's got the word soccer, women and Los Angeles in it. Done. Three strikes and you're out, bitches.
Interviewer/Reporter
You'd like this gal. Elizabeth spoke up this week calling on the National Women's Soccer League to adopt a clear sex based eligibility policy to protect the women's category of sports. And then her frickin team captain went and did this press conference and totally bashed her. Here's the video of that.
Adam Carolla
I love that they think it's okay. Number one, let me just say this. If you don't think it's okay for biological men to play with women or you do think it's okay for biological men to play with women? Women. Let's not forget, before anyone cared, I think it was 2019. A Dallas, Texas under 15 high school team beat the women's national team two games in a row. So these are boys not from around the world or from around the United States. Just from Dallas, Texas, one place under 15. That doesn't mean that could be professional.
Interviewer/Reporter
Women because turns out men and women are different.
Adam Carolla
They, by the way, under 15 is under 15. It means there could be 12 year olds on that team. For the dudes now, I'm guessing they were 14 or 15 and under, but there's always a couple of 13 year old ringers out there. They beat the women's national team two games. So that's young guys and the advantage they have over women physically in a game, which is soccer, which is fairly physical but not, certainly not like football or basketball.
Interviewer/Reporter
But if a trans woman is playing a biological woman, you can bet that there's going to be injuries on the soccer field. Yeah, I mean soccer actually, I think, actually I need to google this, but I think that soccer actually has a ton of injuries.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, there'll be injuries and then it'll also be not as competitive because what you're looking for in all sports is parity. All you try to F1 is F1 because they have all these rules and they like add weight and they have all this stuff because they will not let one car have an advantage over the other car. So we'll watch. It'll be very close. All motorsports is that way. Just parody, parody, parody. And if you're gonna have one with an extra 200 horsepower, it's not gonna be good for the sport or the.
Interviewer/Reporter
Reason why people like to watch football, right? It's like, well, this QB has this record and this QB has this record and let's see him go head to head. And it's the interest of that. I don't think that the average American wants to see a 6 foot 2 transgender woman going up against biological women on the Angel City fc.
Adam Carolla
But let's see what this dumb cow has to say.
Interviewer/Reporter
So this lady. Yeah, yeah. It was horrible, like to, to be a part of this team. If I were Elizabeth Eddy, I'd be like, peace, I'm leaving.
Adam Carolla
Let's hear what our teammate has to say.
Interviewer/Reporter
Going into this, I'm a little bit nervous because I think it's a big job to represent your team and speak for your team. And not just that, speak for Others who this will be important to. We've all obviously seen the article that was written in the New York Post earlier this week. So I really want to start off by saying that, that that article does not speak for this team in this locker room. I've had a lot of convos with my teammates in the past few days, and they are hurt and they are harmed by the article. And also.
Adam Carolla
Hold on, how are they harmed? What's the article said?
Interviewer/Reporter
The article stab them in the face.
Adam Carolla
They're hurt and they're harmed as well. But what did the article say?
Interviewer/Reporter
Just say, this is the article from her teammate Elizabeth saying, hey, National Women's Soccer League needs to have a standard on this and adopt a clear standard. She's proposed that one option is that all players must be born with ovaries as the FA requires. Or another option was an SRY gene test like those at the World Athletics.
Adam Carolla
That's hurtful and that's harmful to the.
Interviewer/Reporter
Rest of her teammates.
Adam Carolla
But I love, at some point she'll get to. As a woman of mixed race, I love the narcissism of all of it. But here we go.
Interviewer/Reporter
Things that were said in the article, and it's really important for me to say that. And we don't agree with the things written for a plethora of reasons, but mostly the undertones come across as transphobic and racist as well.
Adam Carolla
The article, I love that they get.
Interviewer/Reporter
Racing on certain players and it has a photo of an African player as a headline, and that's very harmful. And to me, it's inherently racist because to single out the. This community based on them looking or being different is. Is absolutely a problem. And as a mixed woman with a black family, I'm devastated by the undertones of this article.
Adam Carolla
She's mixed with a black family.
Interviewer/Reporter
She's. I'm assuming that means she's married to a black man, has black kids. Right. So she's.
Adam Carolla
Maybe. You never know. They say, so she's mixed. But I, as a woman, is mixed.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah, I think how. Okay, so I'm assuming that Elizabeth Eddy, you and I, you've written articles before. I've written articles before. Sometimes my editor uses a picture I wouldn't have used. That doesn't mean that Elizabeth Eddy was like, hey, by the way, when I'm asking the National Soccer League to protect women in sports, I'm not saying that we need to genetically test black people. That was not referenced anywhere in the article.
Adam Carolla
No, they just, they just throw it in there. They tack it onto everything. All the time. And maybe it's their own thing because you have to have black representation. So if you're gonna show a picture of a soccer player, maybe they just show reflexively, like a black soccer player now. Cause I don't know why there's a black soccer player in the thing. But obviously it has nothing to do with the author. And that's not what they're talking about. But she had to do the racing. Cause it's weak. But also they do this thing where they go, obviously, we disagree with much of what's in the article. Hey, bitch, spit it out. Tell us what you disagree with. Tell us specifically what you disagree with. And then we could have a discussion about it.
Interviewer/Reporter
It's also like, is she kind of dumb? Because I think when she refers to the genetic testing, it's like, it's testing, that is Sex eligibility test. It's not, are you Zambian or Ugandan or Southern Californian? It is, like, specifically to figure out if you are having to play a potentially dangerous interactive sport against a biological male.
Adam Carolla
Well, then she's got her Dumbo white counterpart who's gonna say something. Which I like, too, because she doesn't have anything to say.
Gary Cannon
Family.
Interviewer/Reporter
I'm devastated. For me personally, when I think of.
Adam Carolla
Me personally, this is the problem. For me personally, for me personally, for me personally. But everybody, Everybody's. For me personally, hey, let's just stick to the facts. But anyway, for her personally, what's the problem?
Interviewer/Reporter
City. I think of a place that was founded upon inclusivity and love for all people. That's what our locker room is.
Adam Carolla
That's our staff is. That's what our fan base is.
Interviewer/Reporter
Angel City is a place for everyone. It always will be. That's how it was from the beginning. That's how it always will be, period.
Adam Carolla
And I think, all right, hold on. This bitch can't think of stuff to sell.
Interviewer/Reporter
She's reading her notes. She has her phone out.
Adam Carolla
What we have right now is a place in Angel City. It's also the name of a brewery, I think, in San Diego. It was founded on the promise of fairness for everyone. And that's what it is, and that's what it's gonna be, and that's what it'll always be. And for me personally, Angel City's oasis of fairness, founded on a bedrock of fairness.
Interviewer/Reporter
Does she not know the history of la, like, of City of Angels, AKA Catholic priests who came here and tried to convert?
Adam Carolla
Well, how long has the soccer team been around? 200 years, or, like, 18 months.
Interviewer/Reporter
But she says, like the city of Los Angeles. Like, she's implying that the history of LA is totally perfect towards, you know, the oppressive.
Adam Carolla
We're here for fairness. So like our concession stands or whatever you can afford.
Interviewer/Reporter
Oh, that'd be nice. And tickets.
Adam Carolla
Tickets could be $80, but if you only have $2, then it'll be $2 and a T shirt and a hoodie, which are normally 49.95. It's just whatever you can afford because we're built on fairness here in Angel City. Yeah. Let's watch her one more time because she has zero to say. She wrote it down, too.
Interviewer/Reporter
See her looking at her notes on the phone.
Adam Carolla
I didn't even see her looking at her phone. Maybe she's been involved with too many headers. Sorry. Let's hear it.
Interviewer/Reporter
For me, personally, when I think of LA and I think of Angel City.
Adam Carolla
And stuff, I think of a place.
Interviewer/Reporter
That was founded upon inclusivity and love for all people. That's what our locker room is.
Adam Carolla
That's what our staff is.
Interviewer/Reporter
That's what our fan base is.
Adam Carolla
It's been around since 2020.
Interviewer/Reporter
Angel City is a place for everyone. It always will be.
Adam Carolla
That's how it was from the beginning. That's how it always will be. Now on the beginning, and I think this situation.
Interviewer/Reporter
Lisa, you kind of touched on it. There's an element of timing to it.
Adam Carolla
Where it's always bad timing.
Interviewer/Reporter
This feels like another really big challenge that we have to go through as a team on top of an already really challenging year.
Adam Carolla
These guys from Texas, and it's definitely not the pubes, kicked our ass that.
Interviewer/Reporter
We as a group want to end on. And so.
Andrew
So I just want everyone to know.
Adam Carolla
That probably we scored more, but their moms in the locker room.
Interviewer/Reporter
To preserve respect and belonging on this.
Adam Carolla
Team, we need a sense of. We look forward to ending the season.
Interviewer/Reporter
On as positive of a note as possible.
Adam Carolla
It's built on love by throwing our other teammate under the bus, Dumbo.
Interviewer/Reporter
So Elizabeth Eddy. Apparently people even before this were rumoring, rumors were flying that her contract, that it expires, I guess, this Sunday, and that it won't be renewed by the team.
Adam Carolla
You have a press conference to throw your room, your teammate, under the bus.
Interviewer/Reporter
Teammate who's likely representing, I think the majority, not. Not only the majority of the viewers and the American voters, but maybe the majority of other women in other locker rooms all over the country that don't want to have to share that space or be, you know, people don't want.
Adam Carolla
To play Women's sports with a dude. That's it. That's all. That's all there is. That's it. You can make as much as you want about race or about gender, about exclusivity or inclusivity. You can do whatever you want normal people don't want to do on the girls team. That's all.
Interviewer/Reporter
And part of her.
Gary Cannon
I don't.
Adam Carolla
Or in the bathroom or in the locker room. That's all.
Interviewer/Reporter
I don't understand how we're, like, supposed to be yay, women in sports and then lambast a woman in sports who said, quote, just as we built a new space for women to complete compete in the largest arenas, now we must honor that commitment and make sure that the National Women's Soccer League stays for women.
Adam Carolla
They're a grievance. They're grievance people. By the way, it was 2000. I said 2019. It was 2017. When the women's team lost 5 to 2 to the dudes without pubes.
Interviewer/Reporter
I think Ben Shapiro likes to use.
Adam Carolla
That reference, dudes without pubes.
Interviewer/Reporter
No, Ben would never. I mean, the example, the soccer example of just the difference, the physiological, biological difference of, like, men and women.
Adam Carolla
I'm pretty sure an under 15 team could beat the women's Olympic basketball team as well. And I'll say this. There are literally hundreds of thousands of millions of dudes who at age 15 in this country can dunk a basketball. There's probably three women in the world who can dunk a basketball. And so they can play above the rim.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And if you can play. You can either play above the rim.
Interviewer/Reporter
Or you can beat the average wnba.
Adam Carolla
If you can play above the rim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know. There's probably been a couple of dunks in WNBA history, and those are kind of weak. And they're not kind of highlight dunks. They're sort of technically.
Interviewer/Reporter
But they're highlighted and shown all over social media because they're so excited.
Adam Carolla
Well, how many. Look it up, Dawson. How many women in the NBA can dunk a basketball? And I would. I would argue that there are some high school teams, like in the inner city and stuff, where everyone can dunk, but that's high school. That's not 15, but definitely the height, because high school all stars are LeBron James at 17 or 18 and Kobe Bryant at 17 or 18. Like, these guys are world class at 17 or 18.
Interviewer/Reporter
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
They list about four players who can, but they say that. But there are fewer than 30 dunks recorded in the league's history since its inception in 1997.
Interviewer/Reporter
Oh, wow.
Adam Carolla
As of 2025, eight women have dunked in a WA NBA game, whereas there's eight dunks per quarter in a professional male game. But I would argue that when you watch the, like, McDonald's all star team, the high school McDonald's basketball team, those guys can dunk all of them. Like, it's crazy. So there's absolutely. The high school McDonald's All Star team would be the all star team of the WNBA. The question is, could the before 15, 15 and younger. And I would go, yes. And because of that, there's a difference. And also, there doesn't need to be anything attached to it. It's just guys excel at this thing. And so you don't want the guys with the women because it's unfair to the women.
Interviewer/Reporter
It's unfair to the women. And as we've seen in a lot of examples, it's physically unsafe to the women as well.
Adam Carolla
Mm. All right.
Interviewer/Reporter
That's just the case.
Gary Cannon
All right.
Adam Carolla
We good?
Interviewer/Reporter
I think so.
Adam Carolla
All right, me see, I'm gonna be in Boston to Wilbur theater coming up Thursday and then off to Electric city in New York. Let's not forget that I'm at Cap City November 12, and. God, who's on there with me? Oh, Brian Callum. Yeah. Is gonna be. Is gonna be out with me. Yeah. Brian Callum. Sorry. Screwed that up. I was looking the wrong direction. Had a little brain fart there. You can go to ampcroll.com for all the live dates. Until next time, Sam for Alicia Krause or op ed at the Washington Examiner. And I want to thank Ryan Sickler and Gary Cannon. Until next time, Adam Carollis saying, mahalo. Pick your phone. Leave us a voicemail. The number is 888-634-1744. And then get tickets to see Adam Corolla and more@adam corolla.com this October, Fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from paranormal activity, the ring, you will die in seven days scream. And from dusk till end the on, this is my kind of place. And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later. Something in the blood, all the scares, all for free. Pluto TV Stream now pay never. This October, fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from paranormal Activity, the ring, you will die in seven days scream. And from dusk till dawn this is my kind of place. And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later. Something in the blood. All the scares all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Date: November 4, 2025
Host: Adam Carolla
Guests: Ryan Sickler (comedian, podcaster), Gary Cannon (comedian, audience warmup veteran), Alicia Krause (news), and Andrew (producer/cameraman)
This episode is classic Adam Carolla: wide-ranging, unfiltered, and heavy on shared trauma, dark humor, deep dives into show business mechanics, and cultural commentary. Joined by comedians Ryan Sickler and Gary Cannon, Adam explores their difficult upbringings, health scares, the unique skill set of being a TV warmup comic, and a robust discussion on gender, media, and sports controversies. The show also features trademark improvisation and detours from Carolla, with Alicia Krause joining for topical news conversation.
The episode crackles with Adam Carolla’s signature blend of sarcastic cultural critique, comedic banter, and blue-collar wisdom. There’s real pathos underlying much of the humor: both Ryan and Gary bring deeply personal stories of adversity, and Adam dishes out plenty of self-deprecation and world-weary insight. The show skewers political hypocrisy (especially around media softball interviewing), “grievance culture,” and the contradictions of modern gender activism—all while celebrating the dignity of skilled trades and the oddities of showbiz life.
Fans will recognize the wit and breadth of discussion but appreciate the vulnerability and specificity in the guests’ stories. Newcomers will find a blend of irreverence and substance, and plenty of sharp lines worth quoting.
| Time | Topic / Segment | |------------|------------------------------------------------------| | 05:31–08:30| Childhood abandonment, trauma, and dark humor | | 12:44–13:50| Factor V genetic disease, near-fatal health crisis | | 19:01–20:00| Adam’s DNR story—family dysfunction in black comedy | | 22:28–24:18| Learning the trades, building, and humility | | 28:53 | Carolla’s racing tip—life lessons in drift culture | | 36:48–46:03| Kamala Harris gets tough questions (finally) | | 53:30–55:57| Trans/cis semantics, step-parenting, comedy | | 71:02–76:36| The life and grind of a TV warm-up comic | | 90:24–99:04| Home Depot “man on the street” saga | | 126:30–137:08| Soccer, gender, and the politics of inclusion | | 120:44–123:50| The “deep leg cross” as liberal signaling |