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Adam Carolla
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Ja Rule
McCrispy strips are now at McDonald's.
Adam Carolla
I hope you're ready for the most.
Ja Rule
Dippable chicken in McDonald's history. Dip it in all the sauces. Dip it in that hot sauce in your bag. Dip it in your McFlurry. Your dip is your business. McCrispy strips at McDonald's.
Adam Carolla
Well, in this episode, Ja Rule comes in, tells us about the Fyre Festival, many other things. Very interesting guy. Also Adam Ray, Dr. Phil bringing the funny as well. Mayhem's got the news and we got all that right after this. Hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Bet Online is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for all your sports betting action. Baseball season is in full swing now and we're into NBA. Got the playoffs, got NHL playoffs. BetOnline has more ways to stay in on the action with the latest odds news and scores. Bet Online even as live in game betting while the games are being played so it's never too late to get in on the action. With the largest selection of odds on everything from NLB, NBA, NHL and UFC, BetOnline remains the best online source for all your sports wagering info. And don't forget golf and professional boxing too. In between games, head on over to betonline Casino with all the top Vegas style games including poker and live casino Bet Online. The game starts here.
Adam Ray
Even more live shows with Adam Carolla at the end of this month in Bellflower, California. Two shows at the Stand Up Comedy Club on May 24th. Then on May 30th he travels up to Washington for four shows at the Tacoma Comedy Club in Tacoma May 30th and 31st. Then off to Spokane, Washington at the Spokane Comedy Club on June 1st. Tickets for these and more at AdamCarolla.com From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla show. Adam's guests today, Adam Ray and Ja Rule. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now big beautiful Bill was also his gay porn name.
Adam Carolla
Adam Corolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on the church. Get it on. Excited to welcome Adam Ray back to the studio. He's got live Dr. Phil shows everywhere. What a party, man. Going to be in KC coming up June 1st and then Cleveland on the 6th, Indy on the 8th, all in June. And it's. It's fun. It is a party.
Adam Ray
It is.
Adam Carolla
And it's. And it's not. You know, most standup experiences are 90 minutes an hour of stand up. Maybe, you know, opener MC gets up there, does 10 minutes and the opener does 15. Headliner does 60. These are brutal, grueling marathons of conversation. I mean, it's a three hour. It's like going to a concert.
Adam Ray
It is. We're pushing. Yeah, we are the. The Sabrina Carpenter of comedy. It's. Yeah, two and a half hours plus we, we do one in Austin on the 19th of April with. We had Tom Lennon come out and do Lieutenant Dangle from Reno 911J and, and Okerson and, and Grace O' Malley and Casey Rocket and Matthew McConaughey was not on the show, but he was in the audience.
Ja Rule
Wow.
Adam Ray
I get to the meet and greet and, and my wife's like, Matthew McConaughey was here. I was like, get the fuck out of here. And she's there with his whole family. And he's a huge. Yeah, whatever. He came, they left before the chaos ensued. And he had to get, you know, harassed by people being like, dude, say the line, man. Say, beat your chest like you did in Wolf. I don't know what you would do to McConaughey if you saw him. Probably. Would you quote his Lincoln Navigator? What would you.
Adam Carolla
I am so jealous of people who carve lanes out for themselves and especially lanes where they don't have to say a lot of ridiculous dialogue like his commercials, whether it's for Lincoln or whether it's for Cutty Shark or whatever, whatever Whiskey doing. It's like lots of tableaus of him sitting and thinking by a lake, by a fire, like, it's the greatest. Because the only pain in the ass of our job is having to memorize a bunch of fucking dialogue and. Or repeat retarded dialogue that makes you sound like an asshole, but you do it because you want to get paid. He's like, what if there was a whole campaign where I just went to the lake by my house but parked the Navigator and then drank whiskey by a fireplace? Yeah.
Adam Ray
He. He doesn't probably even have a script. I. I feel like in those Lincoln, he just spe. Just sitting there, and they're like, matt, we're just going to roll and just go. And he's like, this car drives faster than most boats.
Adam Carolla
He's like, chef Boyard's a real guy. Fascinating that you just film me thinking, that's. That's enough.
Adam Ray
Or film me thinking, yeah, and then I'll add an ADR of just like, this cup holder could hold five Slurpees. You ever think about that? Hey, do you. Who was the first guy to do anal? Think he was a virgin? Like, just.
Adam Carolla
It's the greatest.
Adam Ray
Jack. Handy thoughts that honestly should be. Yeah. I don't know if that's what the commercial. Yeah, here it is. I think it's more.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you know who else?
Adam Ray
Prestigious.
Adam Carolla
I'll tell you the other guy. I'll tell. The other guy's got the. The world cornered.
Adam Ray
Katy Perry went to space. But the bigger question is, When's a McRib coming back? And I don't do a McConaughey, but look at that. He's just thinking.
Adam Carolla
He's just sleeping.
Adam Ray
He's not even thinking he's sleeping.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying is, is imagine this pitch to your agent. Let's get Lincoln to give us millions of dollars. And what are you doing? Riding a unicycle and juggling. No. Yeah, but. But you could film me. You could film me now.
Adam Ray
Kevin Arnold Wonder Years voiceover.
Adam Carolla
I don't even know if he's talking. The other guy's got the fucking bull by the horns as Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp's just like, hey, Versace. Yeah, just film me walking and thinking about shit. Scarves. I'll put scarves on. And I'm so cool that I can literally just walk through a desert and you can film me and go. I bet that guy's thinking about a lot of stuff.
Adam Ray
Doesn't he do savage? Isn't that like a savage? Yeah, that's. I think. I think there's no, you know, most. Like, if you see like, a Paris Hilton or a Lindsay Lohan, you know, perfume or Kim Kardashian it's like they'll have a couple lines of dialogue, or even Natalie Portman, I think, has one. And it'll be like the sense of. Of, you know, decor that, you know, love is the. Is the tip of the iceberg.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Adam Ray
You know, warmth makes the heart grow. Fine. Whatever, Some. And then it's like, you know, Estee Lauderford for lesbian or whatever. You know, whatever the perfume is. But, yeah, Depp just says savage at the end. It's probably not even Depp. It's Eddie Vedder going savage. I sound like him, though.
Adam Carolla
It's Gilbert Godfrey. He has a different voice.
Adam Ray
They couldn't afford Johnny.
Adam Carolla
Show Me. I want to see that Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercial, because I don't think he talks. And then he does the Wild Turkey commercial where he doesn't talk either.
Adam Ray
Dude, what a life. They just want to see you in it.
Adam Carolla
All right, here he is.
Adam Ray
It's a nice car, though.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
I mean, first of all, the car is sinking in water.
Adam Carolla
It's just a bunch of glory shots of a Lincoln out on a salt.
Adam Ray
You might not ever just stand there.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he talks. Yeah.
Ja Rule
Looking at him.
Adam Ray
I mean. Yeah. Who needs porn? You're fucking to this commercial. They never even sit.
Adam Carolla
He gets paid 275k per syllable.
Adam Ray
I mean, that's great. You never sit in the back. It's like multiple McConaugheys.
Adam Carolla
He's just gonna relax.
Adam Ray
So cool. I mean, by the way, this is. This is what is gonna happen when he does lose his mind at some point.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
They're gonna be like, matt. He's like, dude, I was. There were. Five of me were in the car. One of them told me to drive faster.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. He said seven words and got paid two million bucks for that.
Adam Ray
I think. Yeah. Minimal, right?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Minimum. Yeah. It's awesome. That's what you do. You want a job where people think you're so cool that you don't have to talk. And that's where he's at.
Adam Ray
Do you think you make more from those? Because, you know, we're. We're past the comedy. You know, when he did, like, how to lose a guy in 10 days, he's probably making, who knows, 10 to 15 mil for that. Do you think now, just because we're not making those big budget comms anymore, that you might get more for a car or cologne or. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Whiskey overseas or something we don't even need. There was a time when a list celebrities had to go hide and do the spot in Japan. Now they don't need to do it anymore. Celebs are just ubiquitous. They can do any commercial. I mean, you see Dunkin Donuts and Ben Affleck and stuff like that. You can just do whatever you want. Now.
Adam Ray
LeVar Burton has a tequila in Iraq.
Adam Carolla
He does.
Adam Ray
I'm just trying to think of. I go, all right. Obscure celebrity tequila. Obscure location.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Lost in Translation doesn't even make sense anymore.
Adam Ray
The plot.
Adam Carolla
Why would this a lister have to go to Japan to sell Booth?
Adam Ray
I mean, Morgan Freeman hopped on the Visa train pretty quick, right?
Adam Carolla
Everybody, it's all dogs at the airport. No one dreamt of bringing a dog to an airport 10 years ago. Now it's all dogs at the airport because someone went, you'd be a fool not to get in on it, right? And then once other cool people do, like when agents would pitch some a lister, you know, like when they. When they go, bryan Cranston, you gotta be the voice of Ford. And he goes, I don't drive a truck. And they go. Then they go, mcconaughey's doing Lincoln. And they go, McConaughey's doing. Yeah, he set the bar good enough for me. Okay, then they do it. Yep, that's how it works. So the Dr. Phil show, by the way, big party. I did it. We did it in the round. It was funny. It was exhilarating. It was. You never knew what was gonna happen, but it was great.
Adam Ray
I appreciate. Yeah, you did the. The Comedy Store one and. And one on the road for. For 3,000 peeps. And there's a difference between 300 at the store and 3,000. But the. The essence of the show being, you know, there's a map, obviously, for me as far as, you know, what I'm doing when I'm doing it. And then it's a dance of how long do I. Excuse me. Sit on each guest, each bit. But people like you that are just so down to clown, I mean, we could be out there and fill a full. A full hour and a half, two hours if we wanted to. But. But that energy. Yeah, you're right. It's. It's different on the road. And. But there is something about, like, you know, the last one at the Comedy Store we had a few weeks ago was Kevin Nealon, John Stamos, Eric Andre, and Rich Eisen. And it was just such a. I mean, it already for the last one we're doing in June was so quick of a group, but everybody was so. And Stamos, like, so what am I doing? And what I was like, dude, there's nothing really to prepare except for at the end, I have a comedian coming out to play a full house kid. And we're going to do like full house moment type thing where. Where, you know, the kid comes out and goes, you know, Stephanie Tanner stole. I was like, you know, from season four, Episode five, Give it up for Cameron. He's like, stephanie Tanner stole my bike. And. And I go, well, maybe if you weren't being such a fucking bitch about it. And Stamos goes, well, well, Phil. Phil puts his arm around, goes, hey, bud. Spotlight. Dramatic music he gets down on one knee and goes, you know, it's, you know, having a bike isn't just, you know, it gives him a whole spiel. And then the kid stands up and goes, that's right, Dr. Phil. Stan was his better friends with me. Suck my dick, you piece of shit. I go, I'll fuck you up right now. I go, beat. I'll beat up a second kid today. Stamos goes, well, Phil, Phil, hey buddy. Gets down on one knee. Music again. Spotlight. And then. And we did that like two more times, but. But it was one. And then we just did one, which I haven't even talked about this yet because we just got back yesterday. We went to Yellow Springs, Ohio. Word had traveled to Chappelle and we did two stand up shows at the Firehouse, which is Chappelle's club in Yellow Springs.
Adam Carolla
Wow.
Adam Ray
Which was awesome. He hosts the show, goes up and does about 15 to 30 and just, you know, it annihilates. And then I brought a couple openers and then myself. And it's a. Holds maybe 250, 300 yourself as fail. No, myself yourself is Adam Ray and.
Adam Carolla
Sorry.
Adam Ray
I did two standup shows on the Friday and. And then we did a fill on Saturday and Dave, you know, hosted both standup shows and then didn't know whether or not he was going to pump pop on Phil or not. Was kind of obviously hoping for it, but was leaving it open and, and planned the show as if he would or wouldn't. And he came on, man, and it was. It was unbelievable.
Adam Carolla
Well, just to be fair, every standup show I do, I plan it as if Dave Chappelle comes on or doesn't.
Adam Ray
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Every show I do, I have a plan for both. Usually he doesn't.
Adam Ray
Oh, man.
Adam Carolla
But I do it that way. I'll be in Bellflower this weekend planning it both ways.
Adam Ray
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Planning to exit the stage early and. Or.
Adam Carolla
But if he doesn't show in the unlikely event that he does. Chappelle doesn't show extra bits. I'll have some extra bits prepared.
Adam Ray
That's a good.
Adam Carolla
It's a way to do it, dude.
Adam Ray
He is. He is. So I told him this too. I go, dude, on top of you being a real, you know, thoughtful and obviously sharp and intelligent comedian, like, I always was drawn to Chappelle for how silly he was and not just from Chappelle show, right. And whether it's just, you know, his act outs the way he's always. Even if he's making a long, drawn out point about something serious. You know, I asked him at one point, I was like, you know, Bugs Bunny is a big influence on you.
Adam Carolla
So he came out, he ripped it.
Adam Ray
He was. And he was so pumped afterwards, which was the best. But he had so much fun. I mean, the whole reason I'm doing it is because it's fun as fuck. And. And to get to a point to where, you know, my favorite comic is, you know, wants to be on it and then has a blast. And it was, you know, he's such an alpha. So there was a dance of like, of. Of letting him do his thing when he came out to get comfy. And then once he kind of figured out where I kind of fit, we really had a fun back and forth and. And I think we might do it again somewhere. So. But it was incredible and, and really out of body because the last time I was in Yellow Springs was during COVID when he did these big shows at the Pavilion outdoors. Remember, he had all those outdoor shows. And Jaleel White, who's a buddy of mine, he and I went out to a weekend in Yellow Springs, and it was John Mayer and Sarah Silverman and Common and Louis CK and, and. And Tiffany Haddish and Donald Rawlings. And I, you know, hadn't really known Dave at all yet. And I was there as more of a spectator, but I wanted to go because I had the opportunity to hang. And I was like, I want to see what that's like and be a part and maybe go up. And I'm standing watching the show at one point, and everyone's just ripping. And it was so, you know, special, for lack of a better word, because you're outdoors doing standup in a time where, you know, we're only four months into Covid, so people are like, this might be the way standup is now, is just outdoors at wedding venues. And. And Jaleel leans over to me and goes, this is killing you, isn't it? And I was like, fucking, yeah, dude. I'm like, I want to be on stage, but there's a reason why I'm not up there right now. And I got to figure that out. You know, I'm saying. And. And so to go back five years.
Adam Carolla
What do you mean by that?
Adam Ray
There's a reason why. You know, it was a stacked lineup, but I wasn't. I went out to hang out, but I wasn't invited to go out and perform.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Adam Ray
So, you know, I try to. Early on, don't. You know, if you find yourself pointing at extraneous reasons for why you're not doing something, I try to flip back. Flip it back on yourself and go, all right, well, what do you. Clearly, you're. You're not doing something that is putting you in a. You know what I'm saying? In a category.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I know.
Adam Ray
There's.
Adam Carolla
Look, when you don't get invited to a party, there's one of two reactions you can have. You can either prepare for Dave Chappelle to show up to the party. No, you can either. A lot of people get pissed at the person who didn't invite them, and.
Adam Ray
I've done that, too.
Adam Carolla
Everyone. It's. It's. It's a default setting. But the bigger question would be, why didn't you get invited? You know, this person? You thought you're on this footing with this person, right? So cool down and let's figure out why, and then let's figure out how you can get invited to the next party instead of telling the guy to fuck off.
Adam Ray
Yes, and my goal exactly. You have to. It's a healthier way to live. And the goal wasn't to get back there at some point, but the goal is, I think, everybody. You can attest to this probably once you even start doing standup, right? Like, you want respect from your peers and. And especially when they're at the top of the game like that. But. But the fun factor is high. It's a great club. Yellow Springs is a really wild city. It feels like it's out of a. Of an old movie because it's just. And he owns most of town. It's this long strip of road, a lot of shops, diners, you know, you know, people making homemade bracelets outside and. Yeah, but it's cool. I don't know how you like. I mean, you seem like someone that likes to do shows wherever the people are coming, right? You have no.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah. I don't really have rules. I'll do shows anywhere. And sort of. They could be for money. They could be for free. I mean, it's a gift. To be able to travel around and do stuff 1,000%. And really, just to have a microphone and have a group of people sit and look at you and wait for your next word to come out of your mouth is a blessing. So it's all good. It all falls under the heading of good. There's just better. And sometimes you're out there with your idols and it gets to a next surreal level almost, but it's all gravy. I don't really get the performers who don't really want to perform, and I sort of feel sorry for them. Like, sometimes I think about singers or, you know, musicians, and it's like. It's like, I'll do this thing all the time or go like, well, Britney Spears. I'll go, she doesn't. She's not a performer. She doesn't want to sing. She's not.
Ja Rule
She's.
Adam Carolla
And they'll go, what do you mean? She's got all these shit. I go, when's the last time she walked out on stage? People who want to perform could be at the height of their powers, and you'd find them on a Tuesday night at McCabe's doing acoustic set. And comedians who want to perform, you'll find on a Tuesday night at the Ice House working stuff out for free for 20 minutes because they want to. Well, if you don't want to, then you don't perform. So if you want to perform like someone like yourself, then everything is salad because the worst night you're gonna have is working on some material.
Adam Ray
Yeah, I know. I just did this dog rescue benefit show and got into it with a woman who is. I shit on cats at one point, and she got up and got pretty, pretty. And I was like, oh, is this bad that I'm, like, shitting? And then there were a couple dogs. You could bring your dog to the event. So I got heckled by a Pomeranian at one point and. And got into it with the woman whose dog it was. But, yeah, I went real. I tried to keep it funny and light, but then the woman was so grotesque that I ended up just really going hard at cat people in general. And I have nothing against cats, but, like, you know. You know, I've been attacked by four cats in my life. All my sisters, all were rescues. And really. And again, what did I do to bring that on?
Adam Carolla
Your sister's cats attacked you?
Adam Ray
Yeah. Also, one of the gerbils, the mama gerbil, bit my finger. Once before it proceeded to, I think, eat like 11 of her babies. Gerbils are wild pets. Let's cut to a clip. Gerbils are. Yeah, I don't. I don't know. They're in the rodent family. But cat, you were attacked.
Adam Carolla
Listen, if you're attacked by cats, then.
Adam Ray
Four times, then I gotta look in the mirror. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't.
Adam Carolla
I feel that way about people who are hit by lightning twice. It's like, all right, I don't know who you're molesting. I don't know why God wants you off the planet. But there's a message, a cosmic message.
Adam Ray
There was a great bit. RIP Greg, Geraldo, amazing comedian, and he did this bit where he talked about a. A guy. He goes, there was a guy. There's a news story. This guy who got struck by lightning six times and survived, then got married and got into an argument with his wife on a cruise ship and jumped off the cruise ship. He goes, God himself couldn't take this man out. So he was like, send in the experts. I'm paraphrasing, but yeah.
Adam Carolla
So the show. So I want to say this. I was there at the First Night of Dr. Phil at the Laugh Factory.
Adam Ray
I believe you were. Well, the first time that I even tried doing it on stage before it was a live stage show.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Also so lessons for the kids at home. There are no more rules anymore in comedy or entertainment. A Listers can do commercials for Lincoln and there are no more. We can't tell you this isn't gonna work. Or this is gonn.
Adam Ray
And I'm doing commercials for bird scooters.
Adam Carolla
That's right, Tony. So you had this calling almost for Dr. Phil. Now, soon as they started with the prosthetics and the bald head and stuff, I would have been like, I'm not going to do three hours of prep to do 15 minute set for free at the Laugh Act. But you had. There was something. Now when people say all the time, they go, did you even. I mean, did you know back then you'd be up with Chappelle? Did you know back then you'd have. You'd be playing 3,000 seat places in the round. And the answer is, no, he did not know. Because if he did know, then it's an easy decision. Everyone would do it.
Adam Ray
Right?
Adam Carolla
Like if I said to any human being, all you gotta do is work at the McDonald's in Van Nuys for one year for free, and then you'll get $2 billion. Everyone go, oh, okay. I'LL do it. I'll start tomorrow.
Adam Ray
Right.
Adam Carolla
It's, it's. They do it for free and not know if you're going to get paid.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
That's what separates.
Adam Ray
That is what's great about this business. Everybody totally is. The uncertainty is. You have to embrace it. But also, you know, I don't know, you have to create your own good luck and. But you're right. It's not like I was like, you know what? I think the comedy world is really, there's a void of like a daytime talk show host parody.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
Adam Ray
And I can't do Montel Williams, at least not with that attitude. But I gotta find the right makeup art. Do bluff it. And then if I, if that doesn't look good, then maybe Sally just knows. Yeah. So it's so random and just, and just I always want to do a live stage show with some character. After seeing Mulaney and Crawley.
Adam Carolla
Oh, hello.
Adam Ray
Or Will Ferrell, when he did his Bush, George Bush Broadway show, doing something like that was always appealing. So it was like, you know, and this, honestly, the way I view things now I'm doing another character show. I have this like 38 year old man child named Jeremy. I don't know if, if there's any clips of it up on YouTube to pull up or on my Instagram, maybe there might be. It's a, it's a, you know, this kid, he's 38, he's obsessed with Joel McHale. He's got a rat tail and braces and he lives with his, his, his, his, his parents. And, and so I'm doing a Jeremy's house. It's almost kind of like Wayne's World meets Peewee's Playhouse at the Comedy Store. And I got, you know, guests for that. And I got, he's got a puppet sidekick and his mom's boyfriend is like a guest on the show and there's a live band and it's another like, oh, this sounded fun. And then putting the pieces together, it'll be all improvised like Phil is. But that's on on May 28th at the Comedy Store. And I felt myself going like, it's a lot of prep, it's a lot of work and what if it bombs? Which is how I was feeling about Phil. And another thing of, of just a mentality shift. It was like, man, how many more years do you have to, to try things out before people don't give a fuck if it works or not? So it was like anytime I feel myself feeling apprehensive or scared. I try to lean into that. Yeah, within reason.
Adam Carolla
No, lean into whatever. Whatever. Scary. It's super helpful. What are we doing?
Adam Ray
Like, you don't get better in your just going up and doing the same shit also every time.
Adam Carolla
No, I would tell people the same story. People would say, you know, why'd you do Dancing with the Stars? I go, cause I can't dance. And when the second somebody said, you want to do Dancing with Stars? I felt fear. Like, old Junior high, Johnny Finnegan wants to meet you in the parking lot after the sixth grade. Like a weird spinal fear where I was like. And then once I felt the fear and I just did a couple of dry bar specials, clean. And people are like, how are you gonna do a dry bar? Like, clean. Not pg, but G rated clean, you know? And I was like, I don't know. But the second I got scared, that's when I said, I'm in. So if something feels like, oh, man, or that's scary, or I couldn't do it. Explore it, feel it out, and you'll get better at everything.
Adam Ray
I think they put.
Adam Carolla
We have. We have a clip here from Instagram.
Adam Ray
I think this is, I think a little trailer I made for the show on May 28th.
Adam Carolla
This is Jeremy.
Adam Ray
Yeah. If you make some noise. Oh, yeah. Can't wait to lose my virginity. The dumbest part about losing your virginity is saving up all the money to pay for it. And that's what the.
Adam Carolla
I love that he.
Adam Ray
Welcome to your happy build.
Adam Carolla
Good job. Holy.
Adam Ray
I'm having lunch with drum with y' all.
Adam Carolla
Is that that guy from Grey's Anatomy?
Adam Ray
No, mom, it's the hot white guy From Spider Man 2 Mondays. Am I right?
Adam Carolla
Homemade sage. You hate it.
Adam Ray
Yes.
Adam Carolla
What's in that fanny pack?
Adam Ray
What if I was just like a gun? We have. Andrew Santino will be there. Cam Patterson. I think Joel's gonna make it appear.
Adam Carolla
Joel's the greatest.
Adam Ray
He's the greatest. I just picked him. I was like, what's. Who's a celebrity that is, you know, that is super well known, but also like, you never. I don't know. And that people, you know, when people go like, who's your favorite comic? Who's your favorite actor? You know, he's just such a respected. Crushes it everywhere. But like, not it. And I was like, that feels like a someone that you'd go, oh, yeah. But also like, oh, what an interesting pick from this. This 38 year old man boy.
Adam Carolla
No, it's specific and that's why it's great. For the character. It's also nice to see all the cross pollinization of everybody jumping in. People used to be kind of hived off. They did their own stuff. They hated other comedians.
Adam Ray
There's more crossover right now I feel like for sure, get this.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Ray
Also people want to do fun. The show is so different than any other show. And I hopefully that is appealing in some sense but and also, you know, relationship there are then I mean there's people that I've thrown out hail Marys too and on Instagram that have done it because of that with you know, whether it's Teddy Swims a singer or Johnny Knoxville or Stamos, you know, trying to work out getting Scott Stapp from, from Creed. We've been going back and forth just trying to like figure out a date. But you know, and then, and then I'm throwing you know, bigger, bigger hail Marys, you know and hopefully once I get some footage from the Chappelle show, I feel like that is a pretty good like hey, look who did it. Would you?
Adam Carolla
Well, the, the stuff stuff begats the one celebrity begats the other. When something gets a little juice and a little heat. Celebrities, for all that's good about them, there is a weakness they have which is they are high school. They're perpetually in high school and somebody just got a new Corvette and it's out in the parking lot and they all want to run out and see they get very heat oriented. So if somebody has an ounce of heat and that's why they'll do it with anybody. Michael Avenatti was hot for like 10 minutes and everyone just Avenadi, Avenatti. And then it turned out he stole a bunch of money from clients. It turned out to be a bad guy. But we will jump on. And so like when a show, a show can be around your show, Kill Tony shows like that, they can be around for periods of time, long periods of time, no one gives a fuck. And then all of a sudden little spark and some heat and everyone just goes, oh, you Want to be part of that? Yeah, immediately.
Adam Ray
I'm going to stop doing it in. I think August is our last show, so I think we have eight left. So that. Casey, Cleveland, Indianapolis, and we have I think June 19th in Pittsburgh, June 21st in Atlantic City, July 12th in Reno, and then I think August 7th in Cape Cod. And that's a wrap.
Adam Carolla
It's just, it's a great vibe. It's fun. It's. It's like, it's nice because you're doing something that hasn't been done before. It's not, it's. It's like formatically new. And it's just. It is cool that there are no more rules.
Adam Ray
That is fun. Right?
Adam Carolla
I agree. When I started doing live podcasts 16 years ago, it was like a new thing. Oh, yeah, but it's old. Cause it's like an old time radio show from the 20s in a theater. But a live podcast was just something that wasn't done. And it felt kind of interesting formatically and different and. And so we're there. John Stamos, by the way, I want to put together.
Adam Ray
He was so fucking funny too, man.
Adam Carolla
I want to put together a calendar. Oh, he's great. Of TV. 80s and 90s TV celebs whose catchphrase didn't catch on.
Adam Ray
Oh.
Adam Carolla
So. Because we all the fonts had, you know, started like, hey, you know, and then there was like sort of up your nose with a rubber hose. That was like Vinny, what's his name from welcome Back Kata.
Adam Ray
Right.
Adam Carolla
And. And there were.
Adam Ray
What you talking about, Willis?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, like they had them, but every once in a while, like, Stamos tried, lord, have mercy. Have mercy or have mercy. He tried have mercy.
Adam Ray
He should have added the Lord.
Adam Carolla
He didn't. It just didn't catch. Yeah, well, he would try it.
Adam Ray
I mean, Coulier had cut it out.
Adam Carolla
Huh.
Adam Ray
And that. And then Michelle Tanner, you know, the Olsen twins had you got it, dude. And oh yeah, you have a three year old kid sticking their thumb out and going, you got it, dude. I mean, so it was tough competition. And then I think. I don't know if. How rude. I think Stephanie Tanner had. How rude. And then DJ said, like, I'm gonna make a network for only traditional American values or something.
Adam Carolla
What would be if there's a joke.
Adam Ray
About Candace Cameron making herself a network.
Adam Carolla
Sorry. For Lifetime.
Adam Ray
Yeah. They don't include gays there.
Adam Carolla
Oh, did I do that?
Adam Ray
Well, that's. That's Julie. That's my boy, Jaleel White. That's her.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
We played a game Julia was on, too. I go, let's play a game where I'm going to put up pictures. We aied pictures from the. That were, like, things she basically. I just need some advice, Julio, because I'm getting up there in age, and I don't want to say it's a bucket list, per se, but it's a. It's a. It's a. It's a list of things that I want to maybe do or not do. And maybe you can help me figure out should I or should I not do that quickly.
Adam Carolla
My experience. It's Jaleel White.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Is that how he say it?
Adam Ray
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
You do a Jaleel.
Adam Ray
I said Jaleel.
Adam Carolla
There's a. There's something Jaleel. There's something about your Jaleel which confuses me. Oh, that's all right. Keep going. Jaleel Urkel.
Adam Ray
Yeah, Urkel. Steve Urkel. Stefan Urkel. But, yeah, his. That might be the most popular catchphrase from the 90s, arguably.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. Joey Lawrence said.
Ja Rule
Whoa.
Adam Ray
Just a sound.
Adam Carolla
Joey Triviani had. How you doing?
Adam Ray
Yep.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Adam Ray
Yep. Alf had a. You guys, if you send me back to my planet, I'm gonna. I'm gonna kill you all. No.
Adam Carolla
What? He's.
Adam Ray
No. What did I do?
Adam Carolla
He said, I'm gonna rape the cat.
Adam Ray
I'm gonna rape the cat again. Come on, Dan.
Adam Carolla
I don't think he said again. I just think. Okay, I'm gonna. Yeah.
Adam Ray
First time. Yeah. First time offense.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
What else was there? Was there. Did Mr. Belvedere have a catchphrase? Oh, I guess Mr. Belding. Dennis Haskins had. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What is going on here?
Adam Carolla
Oh, really? That was his principal Bell, the boss have one? Did Tony Danza have one?
Adam Ray
Well, I had a lot of catchphrases. There was Angela. There was. Hey, Jonathan, I know you caught me taking a shower. Do you want to see what that's all about? And then there was Samantha. You know, quit eating all the Froot Loops, you fucking twat. But those are, like, on the cutting room floor catchphrases. There's. Oh, and then there was, hey, Judith Light. If you touch my exercise bike again, I'm going to punch you in the clit. That was. But that was again, one of those catchphrases that I only used in the morning because, you know, at nighttime, people get a little more sensitive.
Adam Carolla
There was, I think, what's happening? Or good times. He had, like, I'm telling Mama.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
All right. So Jaleel White on stage.
Adam Ray
Well, Jaleel had also got any cheese, so that's the other thing, too. Stamos maybe only had. Have mercy. Jaleel had got any cheese because he had a doll. This is why. You know, I have the Urkel doll. Can we pull up the Urkel doll? I mean, this thing. There might even be a. A nice commercial for it. But it was. It was upholstering and the doll. You know, look, I didn't have many dolls. I got the Urkel doll, and. And I've told Julia what I did to it, and I was like, did I. Did I cut a hole in it and did I do that? Yeah. So here it is. Yeah. Yeah. Look at this thing. It had, like, he had five phrases. I think that's the move. You need multiple phrases to catch on.
Adam Carolla
Let me introduce you to the doll. He's got my looks, my laugh, my voice and all.
Ja Rule
Can I do that?
Adam Ray
You can't have me get the next best thing.
Adam Carolla
Talking Urle. I just pull my string.
Adam Ray
I mean, and you have him doing it at the height of the character. I mean, I would love to know. Actually, I'm going to.
Adam Carolla
That doll's worth something.
Adam Ray
Can I just. If he. Can we just see if he'll pick up real quick? I would love to know how much that doll. This is a true, true sign of friendship.
Adam Carolla
How. How much.
Adam Ray
How much he made from the doll?
Adam Carolla
Oh, I just gonna tell you a story. They're always ripping the black man off with his dolls and his music.
Adam Ray
Both Jay, pickup.
Adam Carolla
The.
Adam Ray
I don't know what other sitcom charact like Mario Lopez probably could have had a A.C. slater doll. The girls could have, like, I don't know, you know, maybe have the hand be almost like. The hand be almost in, like, ditto shape, you know, so it.
Adam Carolla
Well, kung fu grip.
Adam Ray
Kung fu grip.
Adam Carolla
So, Jaleel, you brought up on stage.
Adam Ray
Yes, With Dave. And we did a. Dave came up for. By himself for about 40 minutes, and then Julio came back.
Adam Carolla
Chappelle.
Adam Ray
Chappelle.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Right. Because there's Coul.
Adam Ray
There's Dave Coulier. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Now, is he doing okay? I. Last I heard, Dave Coulier had cancer. Something beat it. Oh, he did. He.
Adam Ray
They. He cut it out.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, we got to check that.
Adam Ray
Yeah, I think. I think I saw some. Yeah, we're clapping. Andrew's clapping.
Adam Carolla
Did he do okay?
Adam Ray
Coolio's in good shape or. Coolio.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Coolio. Not. Not as much, but. All right.
Adam Ray
By the way, how many times does that slip up? Same dude, same dude, what is that? A Finkel is Einhorn, Remember, from Ace Ventura?
Adam Carolla
Mm.
Adam Ray
I know his Finkel. Finkel. What if Cool A was coolio?
Adam Carolla
God, it's funny. He could probably do a Coolio.
Adam Ray
Haven't. Hasn't there been a list of those? Like, it turns out Hasselhoff is actually like Dolly. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's been these conspiracy theories about somebody also, you know, the double identity. I think there was that for Michael Moore, the documentarian. I think they said, like, he was.
Adam Carolla
Also out of work. Lesbian trucker.
Adam Ray
Yeah, I think that's what it was. Yeah. Something like. Yeah. Wow, you had that locked and loaded.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I did.
Adam Carolla
Because that's what I call him. He's stage three, non Hodgkin's lymphoma, but on April 24th, he's cancer free. So that's stage three. He's now cancer free.
Adam Ray
It's stage three as of April, not stage nine, like some people have talked about.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Not like Biden. I got a question for you I wanted to bring up. I thought about this. I have my old guy thoughts. And Kimmel sent me a text over the weekend that his daughter had her first child. And then I thought, man, man, we're getting old. Cause I remember going to his house that he was renting in Reseda when Katie was 2 or so, just running around in her Pampers. And I said, jimmy's got some favorite old stories, but this is one of them. I said, it seems like only yesterday I was building her a Playhous, which I did. He rented a house in Reseda off an alley, and he wanted to build a playhouse. And I was a carpenter. And I was like, well, anything for you, Jimmy. Cause I'm a carpenter. I didn't have any money, but he was helping me get on the radio. So I said, we'll build this playhouse. Building her playhouse. But I said, it seemed like only yesterday I was building her playhouse and pissing in her sandbox, which is. Jimmy caught me on the side of his house taking a leak one night after a few beers. And I was pissing in the sandbox. Cause it sort of made sense to me. Like a cat would use a litter box.
Adam Ray
But then a sandbox is a litter box for a drunk. That.
Adam Carolla
Okay, thank you.
Adam Ray
So it's a famous Coolio quote I remember.
Adam Carolla
Here's how far gone I was. He was, like, disgusted by it. And I was like, what's the big whoop? You know, I had to piss. I went outside, I had a few beers. And I also used to park on his lawn, which pissed him off, too. But I always thought it was funny, like, to pull right onto someone's lawn and get out of the car. It's a power. It's like alpha. All right. But he told me I'd run over the sprinklers and would break the sprinklers. But anyway, so I said to him, only yesterday, I was pissing in Katie sandbox. And then he wrote back a little laugh, whatever. And then I thought about it, and I thought a sandbox, that was a form of entertainment. When I was growing up, a box filled with dirt was like, go play.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And it's also sort of insane if I was trying to pitch that to my kids, like, hey, good times ahead. I found a place that has a bunch of sand and you can sit in it and all it did is go up to crack your ass. Get in your fucking shoes. Get in your eyes. What was even so good about sand? I know what was sort of good about it is you could go down the slide and land in it and not break an ankle, I guess. But just the notion that from 500 years to about 10 minutes ago, my kids, it's all laser tag on a tramp and trampoline world and everything is just an E ticket everywhere. The idea that there was just a place carved out, filled with sand, and that was a good time. That was enough to keep kids busy for a day.
Adam Ray
We had to get creative pre iPad. And also, I think there was something about bringing the beach home. Yeah, maybe that. Right? Like a little bit of.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. I grew up in the Valley, and just the novelty of sitting in sand was. I mean, it was all the worst part of the beach. Without the cool weather and the ocean and the hot chicks and bikinis. Yeah, it was the shitty. There was a part of the beach that gets stuck in your ass. But still, just the idea that that was simple and pleasurable and a treat like, hey, should we go roll around in sand today? It's only Tuesday. We should wait till Saturday.
Adam Ray
Oh, yeah. It was a big.
Adam Carolla
You just go sit in a box of sand. The idea Jimmy's house was not at a park. It was his second house in Reseda, and he moved further away from Kroc. I remember, like, Deeper Valley, which I told him not to do. But he ended up renting another house further away. And it was on the side of the house, and it was just like two by sixes screwed together four foot by four foot and just sand. And the idea that the Kid would just sit in reseda in July, 114 degrees outside. Just sit in a pile of sand.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Like I couldn't imagine telling my kids, put down the Nintendo. Get away from the 70 inch flat screen. Here. Here's a. Here's a miniature plastic shovel and a piece of Tupperware. Go sit this box of sand.
Adam Ray
Yeah. You're gonna get third degree burns from the plastic just like rubbing up against your thighs. Unless that's what you intended. Unless that's why you're out there. It also, it's like there's. Where do you go from there? Like I guess. What did we do? I guess slip and slide maybe came after that. You had to get out of the sandbox almost the same way.
Adam Carolla
It was unclear what the activity was once we sat in the sandbox.
Adam Ray
Was it choose your own adventure? You could start just jerking off or you could, you know, make some friends. You could build a castle. You could involve some of the bugs and creatures that found their way in there and make a habitat for them.
Adam Carolla
I just. For me, it was the shock absorbing part of the sand that I liked. You could launch yourself off a swing and land in it and not bust your foot up.
Adam Ray
Yeah. You might still break a tailbone from the hard impact, but yeah.
Adam Carolla
My young life was either sand or asphalt. Everything in the valley was just asphalt over and it just sucked.
Adam Ray
No water parts.
Adam Carolla
Water parks were like a bridge too far for my family. That would have entailed money and a drive. Cause nothing was right here. You had to go to Irwindale or something. Go. We didn't do things that. We didn't do. Things that either cost money or plugged in or brought joy. Those were like the three no fly zones with my family would have to vet them very carefully.
Adam Ray
Oh my God. So have you been to one since as an adult?
Adam Carolla
I went with Jimmy and his cousin Sal and his cousin Sal pissed on me in the bathroom.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Which I thought is funny. I didn't have any problem just prepping.
Adam Ray
You for the water, which is just funny.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's more of an acclimation than it was urination.
Adam Ray
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
I went with Jimmy and his cousin, his kids once and I remember, see what happened to me with water parks.
Adam Ray
Uh oh.
Adam Carolla
Is what. That's not a molestation. It's what happened with Outback Steakhouse. I was too poor to eat at an Outback Steakhouse my whole life. And then at some point I got rich and I jumped over them and went to Morton's. You Know what I mean?
Adam Ray
Left them in the dust.
Adam Carolla
I hopped over Outback and I wouldn't go there. Now I'm too wealthy to go to Outback.
Adam Ray
You had a slip up. You almost said Outback. Skank house.
Adam Carolla
Skank house, which.
Adam Ray
Which was a restaurant at the time that they were trying to get going. Everyone wants to franchise out.
Adam Carolla
Once Hooters took off. There's a lot of Johnny come lately. So I skipped over water parks my whole beginning life. Too poor, too downtrodden, they weren't ubiquitous. And then at some point they became popular. But it's too late. I was rich and old by then.
Adam Ray
So you went from above ground pool to a Four Seasons, like in male.
Adam Carolla
I went to my neighbor Max Truax. Dug a pool in his backyard somewhere around when I was 12. So I got the neighbor pool. And then Eddie Gravitch had an above ground pool on the other side. So I got to use. I used a lot of neighbors pools. I did with neighbors what I did with my friend's pantries. I would raid the pantry and raid the pool.
Adam Ray
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
We didn't have a pantry and we didn't have a pool, but other people had pantries and pools. And sometimes I do a double header. Like, let's swing by the pantry, we'll load up on space sticks and then we'll go out to your pool.
Adam Ray
What a great summer.
Adam Carolla
Everyone else's pantry and everyone else's pool. Yeah, the pantry sounds exotic to a Corolla. Like, this is a whole closet for food. Like, oh, my God, we have cupboards.
Adam Ray
The first pantry and I ever saw that I was impressed by was the. The Hildebrand brands. And they had. They were the family that got king size everything from Costco. So when you trick or treat at their house, it was king size everything. Payday paid everything. But because there was always, you know, a few houses that gave out, you know, nickels or raisins or dental dams or whatever it be things that you could get at the store. And then Costco was like also like just popping off at that time.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
So not everybody was even shopping there yet because it almost kind of was like a. You got money if you got a Costco card.
Adam Carolla
Well, you were young. Dicks and tits, right?
Adam Ray
Penis and tits kid.
Adam Carolla
Penis and tits, kid. Right. So you like to eat a little bit?
Adam Ray
Oh, sure.
Adam Carolla
Right. Oh.
Adam Ray
I was at the Hildebrands Monday through Friday.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Adam Ray
He was the first one to get Sega when it came out. Super Nintendo. He had. They had pinball machines, a basketball court. They had the. They had the above ground pool, which by the way, if you're looking for a good YouTube rabbit hole, they feature. Above Ground Pool Falls Apart is a great YouTube rabbit hole.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Adam Ray
Also if you're looking for another one, McDonald's MILF morphs into werewolf and climbs through Drive Thru is also a fun. It's a longer title, but it's worth the wait. But America's Funniest Known videos would start to feature those pools falling apart during the saga era. Oh, man.
Adam Carolla
Fat guy doing a caveat.
Adam Ray
Guy always did it. It was always a fat guy.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Yeah. I realized, like with the video games. See, for me, I never had any of that stuff, but I spent most of my childhood standing next to dudes wanting to play one ball from their pinball or wanting to use their at home football or whatever. That was always my. Oh, so, yeah, we got a pool broke. Yeah, it's bound to happen. It has to happen. It's math. There's a math problem with above ground.
Adam Ray
Pools, by the way. Summer's canceled when this happens. I mean, to be the one that. Oh God, yeah.
Adam Carolla
But here's the thing about above ground pools. This is a. It's a perfect storm. The perfect storm is we need a pool for poor people. So we can't charge that much. And in order to really make an above, you can stop showing video, but.
Adam Ray
Jesus, just at a fucking Bally's fitness center.
Adam Carolla
Enough. If you want to make a pool affordable, affordable, cheap materials, it's got to be cheap and lightweight, right? So, so, but here's the thing. Water's water. It's 11 pounds a gallon. It is what it is. It doesn't matter whether it's Leonardo DiCaprio's pool that's in Maui or your above ground pool that you got from the gem company in the return aisle because it had a dent in it. It's just water. Same weight, same math. When a fat guy does a cannonball, same displacement, same dynamics. So not only do you have a pool for people who shouldn't own a pool. You ever see when a rich athlete, some athlete from the inner city signs a contract, he gets $100 million bonus and he buys a Ferrari. And then like three months later, there's McDonald's wrappers on the dash and shit. And he let his girlfriend borrow it and there's a shopping cart hooked onto the bumper and she's dragging it down the street because he's not really meant to have it, right? He's not meant to have. These are People who have pools who aren't meant to be pool owners.
Adam Ray
Gotcha.
Adam Carolla
Pool owner needs a certain amount of income, certain amount of sobriety. You gotta hire people to come change the diatomaceous earth and stuff like that. Put the right salt, check the PH levels and stuff. This is white trash. Poor people who have a pool that's poorly constructed out of cheap materials. But all the Dynamics. There's still 700 tons of liquid. Liquid in there mixed with drinking and bad ideas and no maintenance. Because the first thing these guys do is go in, yell at their brother. You're supposed to change the filter. No, you're supposed to drain it and do that, and that never happens. And thus enter Sag it. Enter Sagman, the greatest Metallica song ever. Oh, someone's got to do Enter Sagman. You could yell at the twins.
Adam Ray
What do you. What do you think? Why trash people love more microwave dinners. Above ground pools or domestic violence. Hold that thought. We'll be right back. What do you think it is?
Adam Carolla
I want to say I thought about this yesterday.
Adam Ray
I know you did.
Adam Carolla
To the inventor of the microwave, I salute you. You've impacted my life more so than the iPhone, more than any school teacher, more than any family member, more than any counselor, more than any religion. I like Kimmel, but he doesn't help me three times a day. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's a good dude, but he doesn't do it all day, every day.
Adam Ray
Do you have a good microwave? That's the first time I've actually grown, man.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I got a good microwave. But even a decent microwave is a good microwave. All microwaves are good. And in terms of like, bang for your buck, like I tell people all the time, you don't need a $10,000 watch. You can get a hundred dollar watch. It's fine. It's just as good. Whatever. But if you're gonna. When you're going with something like a microwave, get a good one. Because three times a day for the rest of your fucking life, you will use that microwave when I'm gone. I've asked that my urn be put in the microwave and I go for one last ride. Did you know that? One last ride. I said one last ride, baby. Yeah, not the metallic urn.
Adam Ray
What's the song they play?
Adam Carolla
Inter Sagitt by Metallica.
Adam Ray
One last ride.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, dude, microwave is the most.
Adam Ray
On what mode?
Adam Carolla
Literally more impactful to me than. Than any any other piece of technology. I mean, let's say. I mean, car's great, phone's great, but the phone hasn't been in my life. My, my whole life. My car's broke down. The microwave never disappointed.
Adam Ray
Everybody's put a cold piece of pizza in the microwave. Everybody's heated up some soup that they left out for 20 minutes. Everybody's.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
Fuck, dude. Easy Mac. I mean I could go down the list of products that adjusted for microwave use.
Adam Carolla
So you had a house. Did you have houses? I knew it because I grew up like a raccoon in a dumpster. Like I was going where the food was. There wasn't any in the Corolla house, but I knew who had the food and I would go over there and involve myself in their food. And so you must have had the house like the winter houses that had the good good.
Adam Ray
The winner. The Remas had. They were an Italian family. They had good stuff. The. The Brights lived on our. The Garmires boy, who else? There was a German kid named Knud. He lived with his grandparents and they. This was like the. The trouble kid. Actually I have a dude. When Facebook first came around, he might have been my first search. Knut K N U D. This kid was the trouble kid, but he was also fun. And he had these German grandparents who would call him Canuda man. And you go over there. The lights were always off and they always had sun kissed and I. They fucking. They might have been up to no good, but nobody really knew. He was the first one to show me a porno. Which man, it was just. It was all. It was all bush. I don't know if that was the title or if that's a Judy Bloom book, but it was like I was the mayor.
Adam Carolla
I had a weird thought last night, just rando. You know, you have those rando weird childhood thoughts. Like what was up that? Or what was that? Yeah. I was thinking back to a family I knew, Rob and Brandt, two brothers. And their family had something that I thought only the Rockefellers had, which is a fridge in the garage.
Adam Ray
Oh yeah.
Adam Carolla
And the fridge in the garage was stocked with like Schweppes and different stuff. And I was like. And I could remember like sort of circling around the fridge in the garage and like leaning against it, looking around like, is the dad around?
Adam Ray
It was the adult fridge. It was.
Adam Carolla
It was the adult sacred fridge. But I wanted what was in there. But I didn't want to get busted. I was like, I was so scared that the mom would come around the corners. I was opening the fridge because it was this sacred garage adult fridge. But in it was like all these Great drinks.
Adam Ray
Yeah, drinks that weren't for the main fridge.
Adam Carolla
Not main fridge.
Adam Ray
Was almost display, almost like. Almost like masking. Almost like a decoy fridge.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, this was the adult fridge and I didn't want to be busted, but there it sat. And I remember thinking to myself, who has the kind of cash to have a second refrigerator in your garage? So there were the houses you knew and did your friends eat as much as you? Because I had a problem in that when I got to their house, I was ready to strap on the feed bag and they were like, let's go out and play with shoot hoop. And I'd go, well, let's get some pudding going.
Adam Ray
I knew, Yeah, I knew there was one house I went to and I knew I was eating too much because the dad said, hey, after that Pop Tart, you got time for a titty? And I said, all right, I should probably slow down and put the muffins away. I mean, most of them knew, I think. And then I think I just had enough wherewithal after a while to go. Like, I'd watch the looks that the parents would give me if I went back for like a third granola bar.
Adam Carolla
Right, right.
Adam Ray
They'd just be like, like maybe a glass of water. Not a bad idea. But. But yeah, we had some.
Ja Rule
What did.
Adam Ray
My mom went. My mom, when we went to Costco once we got a.
Adam Carolla
Was your house that people would go to?
Adam Ray
D. Not really. Only for, I think, snacks. Every now and then she'd let me at a store get some big snack and I got a. I think at Costco or. Or even just a grocery store, get like a 10 pound bag of Jolly Ranchers. It was only like maybe 14 bucks and it was Jolly Ranchers for the year here.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Adam Ray
And we had it sitting on this. In this house we were in. Had a little. Almost looked like a diner booth in the kitchen. And. And my friend Avery, who was a neighbor, we were very sitcom style the way we'd go into each other's houses and sometimes he would. I just hear the door open, him run upstairs and he'd take a handful of Joy Ranchers and run out. Right. But. But you know, we. I mean, it was a lot of microwavable stuff, a lot of Chef Boyardee, a lot of. I mean, bro, if you. I mean, I need to, you know, send them a thank you letter or, or a cease and desist to stop killing. I mean, nothing is good probably in that can of, of. Of Beefaroni. But I once went Adam Devine and I Were on tour. And we partied with the Kings of Leon one night because he was friends with one of the guys in the band. And we got up, I drank way too much tequila at one point the drummer was like, save some for the rest of us. And I just laughed maniacally and kept pouring shots.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Adam Ray
I was just, it was one of my first times where I was like, oh, I, I, I can't, I need to, like, somebody needs to tell me to stop in public. And. And I got back to the hotel. It's like a Holiday Inn Express. I saw three cans of Beef Roni on the shelf. I grabbed them, I, I took them.
Adam Carolla
Oh, like when you walked in?
Adam Ray
Yes. You know the hotel snack lounge?
Adam Carolla
Yes, that.
Adam Ray
I grabbed them. I put them in the microwave for like 19 and a half minutes, which is 17 minutes too long. Boom, explosion goes off. I take them out, there's Beef Roni spilling out of the bowl. I trip, trip. I didn't turn the lights off because I thought I could see in the dark. I trip over the carpet, whatever. Beef Roni everywhere, all over the bed. I did. I was too fucked up. I started like kind of spooning some of it into the bowl. I ate a little bit. I vampire down, I fall asleep. I get a call from the front desk, like 7:30am Mr. Ray, is everything okay? I go, yeah, why? They go, because the maids came in at about 6:30 and found blood all over the bed sheets. At first I start freaking out because I'm like, who came in and bled on the bed while I was sleeping? And then I was like, oh no. And then I literally said to the guy, go, oh no, no Beefaroni sheets. And he goes, what? And then I realized, oh yeah, you can't just say no, no, no Beef Roni sheets to somebody and expect them to understand what you're talking about. And so then I put two and two together and I was like, dude, I tripped over the bed. Beef Ronnie went everywhere. He's like, that's all good. And Danny, you're gonna need to come down and pay for those Beef Ronis. I go, why? He goes, we have you on security footage walking into the Holiday inn. It's like 3:30, grabbing three cans of beef or any. He showed it to me because he was a nice guy. I grabbed three cans, cuz nobody, you know, sometimes no one's there monitoring.
Adam Carolla
Okay, listen, I picked up three cans.
Adam Ray
I fist pumped it to myself. And then he said, I tripped into the elevator. And then he's like, thank God nothing happened. To you, so. But I had to go down and pay for him.
Adam Carolla
But there's a. There's a little rule that's weird, which is like, you fly on a Southwest flight or any flight, sometimes you're sitting in coach and you go, give me a Miller Light. They give you a Miller Light. And half the time. It's half the time if you don't pay. Like, sorry, we don't take cash. We need a credit card. We will fucking land this plane in Phoenix if you don't pay for the shit. And then other times it's like, yeah, go ahead. And I'm like, kind of. Which is it? Like, how expensive is this? Do you really need the money? Half the time I get waved off. And the other time, they need the money now. And the hotel, little sundry snack bar. The amount of times that I picked up the water, the soda or whatever, and I walked out and nobody's there.
Adam Ray
I think it's eight Mississippi. And then you can walk away.
Adam Carolla
And then what am I supposed to do? Like, pull, like a filling out and set it on the counter? Like, there's nobody around. And then I'm like, well, I'm not. I don't want to steal this. But on the other hand, no one's around, and I don't want.
Adam Ray
It's a conscious thing. I mean, I definitely was at a hotel recently and did that, and I walked away. I think I grabbed Tums and a Gatorade and I started walking away, and I just go, fuck. And I walk over to the front desk. Cause I literally walk by and I was about to walk out, and I was like, nobody cares. And I walked up, I go, can you put these on room 736? And she was like, of course.
Adam Carolla
Right?
Adam Ray
Just more of a conscious thing. But they don't care. And they. And also, they're, you know, they're. They're. I don't think they're making their money on the snack bar.
Adam Carolla
Do tell me where we had our after party in Phoenix.
Adam Ray
Oh, the Carry On?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
Which, by the way, they just won best bar.
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
Adam Ray
I believe in America, best bar experience. So there's this. These guys, my boy Teddy in Arizona and his crew, they opened this. This private. Like a 70s private pilot or private plane experience. It's like a bar experience where you get on board, they've got these, you know, simulator screens on the sides. You take off, you fly for a good 90 minutes. You land, there's pilot announcements and martini time, and, you know, enjoy the ride. We're Traveling in a fight. And I do all the announcements and all the pile stuff. There's a phone you can pick up at one point that. That you can tap into the cockpit, which is me just. Just improvising for about 30 minutes of just like, ah. I should have called my wife after.
Adam Carolla
My seventh martini with Sam. Morale. I thought I was airborne at a certain point.
Adam Ray
We thought you were flying.
Adam Carolla
You buy into it. It was. It's awesome, man.
Adam Ray
It's incredible. And they have. They brought in a bunch of snacks for us. And the staff is gorgeous. And. And they're all dressed to the nines. Like they work on a 70s. It feels like it. And it's in this bar called I think Ren. Ren Wolf or Ren and Wolf. And they have another. Which is a great restaurant. Then there's another little like library bar. But this whole thing is cool. You have to reserve these 90 minute flights.
Adam Carolla
It's called Carry On. Yeah, I love it. Only in America. All right. Ja Rule is here.
Ja Rule
Wow.
Adam Carolla
So dear diary, you're gonna hang out, right, Adam? Right.
Adam Ray
I have to. This is a. I can't believe I'm gonna meet Ja Rule. Comedy leads you to wild things.
Adam Carolla
There he is. We'll take a quick break. We'll bring in Ja Rule right after this. Morgan and Morgan, Here's a dirty little secret the insurance industry may not want you to know. I like to keep this stuff under the wraps. Insurance companies profit by holding on to your money for as long as possible. Yeah, it's a grift. So after an accident, they might do whatever they can do to delay or deny your claim. This way they can keep those profits growing. Morgan and Morgan fights hard against these corporations to fight to make sure that you get every dollar you deserve. I like these Morgan and Morgan guys. I think I saw one of them on Fox talking some policy and I liked it. Anyway, I've talked to these guys. I've met with these guys. They're good folk. When Morgan Morgan takes a case, they're almost always going after the insurance companies and not the individual at fault. So they're going after the man, not the little man. There's a reason why Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury firm. Am I right, Dawson?
Adam Ray
Hiring the wrong firm can be disastrous. Hiring the right firm could substantially increase your settlement. With Morgan and Morgan.
Adam Carolla
It's easy to get started and their fee is free.
Adam Ray
Unless they win. Just visit forthepeople.com adam or dialaw529. That's for the people.com adam or. Or dial pound law pound 529. This is a paid advertisement.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Ray
Work. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Adam, Tim from Jersey found out today one of my co workers is on.
Adam Carolla
Bereavement leave because her cat died. We're all doomed.
Adam Ray
Get it on. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.
Adam Carolla
Ja rules in studio. He's on a tour with. It's called where the party at? And it's with Nelly. He's out there. And also his new spirit, new premium whiskey brand amber and opal spirits as well.
Adam Ray
Shit, I gotta try some of this. Is that what you're sipping on?
Ja Rule
Yeah, I'm sipping on it, man. I see. You know, I think.
Adam Carolla
I think we need to get a little taste. Yeah.
Ja Rule
Could we just get glasses, please?
Adam Ray
Please do not take if somebody has their own booze, man.
Ja Rule
You gotta listen, man. I need that. I need that Adam Corolla stamp. So the only way to get it.
Adam Carolla
Is about my autograph series of butt plugs, by the way. Adam.
Adam Ray
Yeah, I have tried. I'm wearing one right now.
Adam Carolla
Just want to make sure. Yeah, yeah. Good to see you. Ja Rule. Where did the. The whiskey come from? Or when did that start? How long has it been going on?
Ja Rule
Well, we just, just now getting started. We're brand new, you know, Spirit. We've been out maybe about six months now, something like that, but we've been working on it for about a year and a half.
Adam Carolla
And for you, how's it all begin? Like, where do you start? How old are you when you start whiskey? No music.
Ja Rule
Rap music. Oh, man, when I started rapping, it was as lucrative of a business, you know, as it is these days. You know, I just, I did it as a hobby. I did it for fun, you know, like that type of thing, you know, in the lunchrooms. And we all get around the cyphers.
Adam Carolla
And rhyme, you know, it's Weird. All right. There's no barrier to entry to rap. So if you. Like. I grew up with poor people and nobody played hockey or lacrosse because if you played hockey or lacrosse, you needed all the equipment. You needed helmets and pads and sticks and stuff and bags and duffels and parents that drove you to things. Nobody had any of that, so we didn't have that. And then I realized every time I drive past a park and I see, like, 400 Mexicans playing soccer, I was like, oh, it's the cheapest way you can keep a whole bunch of young people busy. It's like. It evolved. It's from.
Ja Rule
Basketball is the same.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's. It's a cheap version. It doesn't involve having swimming pools or helmets or horses or anything. It's just cheap. Rap is sort of that. It's sort of like sock. It's the soccer of sports. Basketball's that way.
Ja Rule
You just need, you know, two turntables and a microphone, as we used to say. But, you know. But it really started from grassroots, like I said, us beating on tables and.
Adam Ray
You know, we putting lyrics to those beats or we just.
Ja Rule
Yeah, exactly. That's what it was. Beating on tables. It. Whatever. We used to play games, like. Yeah, we used to play games, like. We used to rap about whatever you see and, you know, things like that. It was like lyrical exercise, if you will. You know what I mean? So to be. To see hip hop come from those.
Adam Ray
Yeah, it's wild.
Ja Rule
Very grassroots. You know, early. Early stages to where it is now is kind of impressive.
Adam Ray
It's how you do have to get reps, though, right? Like, even for, you know, comedians, like, we just gotta get on stage and start throwing darts and, like, about shit that we only know. So I'm sure whatever you were were, you know, rapping about at that point was just like, what? Well, I mean, do you even remember Foolishness?
Ja Rule
Yeah, I think my first rap, it.
Adam Ray
Was like, who's getting fingered on the bus?
Ja Rule
It was like, Sally. Sally from the Valley.
Adam Carolla
How old were you when you.
Ja Rule
Probably about 15, right? 16.
Adam Ray
Is that when you remember doing what? Like, do you remember the time or I guess the place where you, like, put a string of something together where not only you were like, oh, fuck, that sounded pretty good. But people around you were like, oh, shit. And like.
Ja Rule
Well, that's how it kind of started to evolve. You know, I'm in. We doing these ciphers and stuff like that at school, on the corner before we get to school, stuff like that. We walk to school rhyming Stuff. And then as it started to progress and we did it, more and more people started to say, you know, ja, call me Ja. Then I was Left then. But they were like, left's pretty good. You know, left could rap, you know, Left could run. And then that's how it kind of started to, you know, get into my head. Like, maybe I am pretty good at this.
Adam Ray
Yeah, you need that outside perspective, right?
Ja Rule
You do sometimes, especially when you're just playing around with it. You know, some people get serious at things and they think they're really good at something that they're really bad at because they're serious about it. But it doesn't make you good just because you take it serious.
Adam Ray
It's almost better to not be taking it serious because then people take it serious for you, and then it's kind of true. And you're like, you're just having fun and just trying to explore and not. Not filling yourself with the heady concerns.
Ja Rule
Of, like, that's an amazing take on it. Because, you know, had I been, you know, like, this is what I'm doing. I'm getting into the rap game, you know, it might have had a different take. People may have a different take on. It'll rub people differently than, you know, is. I'm just a dude like everybody else.
Adam Carolla
And, well, people need to sit back and watch their kids and see what they naturally do. You know, some kids want to just work with animals and take care of animals, and some people want to rap, and some people want to mess with computers. Like, just step back and see what they do on their off time naturally. And then that'll be what they should be doing.
Ja Rule
Absolutely.
Adam Carolla
What they should be gravitating toward. Because other than that, you're trying to push them in some direction they don't want to go.
Ja Rule
Soar with your strengths. Yeah, simple as that. I tell my kids this all the time. It's a simple. It's a simple theory. If you're good at something, you can probably be great at it if you practice.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Ja Rule
If you're not good at something, the best you're probably ever gonna be is good.
Adam Carolla
Right.
Ja Rule
You get what I'm saying? So you saw what. Your strengths, whatever you're naturally good at, put your time and effort into that, and you can probably be one of those 1% people that do it exceptionally well.
Adam Ray
Right, Right.
Ja Rule
You know, but us as humans, our nature is to kind of correct our faults, you know, and do the things we're not good at. Like, all right, yeah, I can do that.
Adam Ray
Already.
Ja Rule
So let me try this over here. You know, instead of saying like, I do this really well, let me hone in on this and be the best at this.
Adam Carolla
Do your kids listen to you? And then also there's a third.
Ja Rule
They're my kids. Of course not.
Adam Carolla
There's another element which is a little ordinary. Misery is good. Like a little bored, a little no air conditioning. A little I gotta go outside a little. I gotta make my own fun.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
I gotta entertain myself. That's necessary. It's all gone now.
Ja Rule
It is. The kids don't have that. I mean, I can't imagine a world where we had like the games that they had. Like the games that we had. It was like, all right, I'm going outside to play. You play that for an hour, you're like, all right. You know what I mean?
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Ja Rule
It wasn't with these games. A lot like real life shit. So. It looks amazing. It plays. Oh, we got one. We got a taster here. Cheers, fellas.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, by the way, tastes wonderful, man.
Adam Ray
Pleasure to meet you, Jerry.
Adam Carolla
I gotta tell you, man, spicy.
Ja Rule
Gotta nose it a little bit.
Adam Carolla
Yes, nose it.
Ja Rule
So, so. So let me just give you a little bit of a. It's a honey botanical whiskey. So we really wanted to make it for the whiskey. Curious that people that are not per se whiskey drinkers, but, you know, wanted to may want to try whiskey. We're a great entry point.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
I was just gonna say it's a little sweet.
Ja Rule
Yeah, it's smooth. But it's, you know, it still has a strongness to it that whiskey enthusiasts can also, you know, love.
Adam Ray
You nailed it, dude.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Ja Rule
Thank you.
Adam Ray
Delicious.
Ja Rule
Thank you, man.
Adam Ray
I get down.
Ja Rule
Yeah. I'm at the sip this and it makes amazing cocktails. Like, if you like old fashioned.
Adam Ray
Oh, yeah.
Ja Rule
And just like gold rushes. It's amazing. Amazing.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
It's like there's beers that are like stout and they're like Guinness. And then there's IPAs, which are a little fruitier, a little sweeter, nicer citrusy notes. And that's easier for the first time beer person than the stout stuff. That's black. Essentially.
Adam Ray
I have to do a quick cheers to Ja. The first time I grinded and dry humped with an older classman girl was.
Ja Rule
To living it up at Sugar.
Adam Ray
Living it up, man. I'll never forget it. I'll say her first name. Brooke.
Ja Rule
You know where you are bumping and grinding, dude.
Adam Ray
I turned from. I might have been bar Mitzer at 13, but I was a man. Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's funny.
Adam Ray
No, it's a banger, dude.
Adam Carolla
You know, it's so funny because at 13, no group is further away from manhood than Jews.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Like, when LeBron James was 13, I could see him. I would sell him whiskey when he was LeBron James. But Jewish guy, guys, mouthful of braces, glasses on, funky hair.
Adam Ray
Yeah, not happening.
Adam Carolla
Nate Wittenberg was. That was my friend who was at 13. Looked like he was nine. Yeah, that's not Hispanic. I knew Hispanic guys with mustaches. Did you have 13?
Adam Ray
So we're a little bit different age. But ad, what was your, like. What was your job rule equivalent of having, like, the dances. When the dances got turned up a notch, you know what I'm saying? I mean, living it up was one of that.
Ja Rule
Was that 90s, maybe 2000?
Adam Ray
Yeah, it was.
Adam Carolla
So things are cyclical in that. When I was in high school, school dances were out of vogue. School dances were cool in the 50s, maybe they had a renaissance in the 90s and they were uncool.
Ja Rule
Oh, shit.
Adam Ray
You missed both.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I missed a boat because it wasn't cool. It's almost like captain of the football team was cool in the 50s, but 1982, when I was captain of the football team, not cool. They were into punk rock, so it was like a weird, rebellious.
Ja Rule
A weird moment there.
Adam Carolla
And also it's la, so that was more sort of punk rock than it was punk jock. Like, there wasn't jock and letterman. Like a letterman. You would have been a dork in a letterman's jacket. In my high school in the early 80s, so there was. There was no sock hop or anything. It was considered for Orchard Squares.
Ja Rule
What year were you in?
Adam Carolla
I graduated North Hollywood high in 82 too.
Ja Rule
Okay.
Adam Carolla
And. And all that stuff was like bygone era. That happy day I missed out. And then I guess a lot of.
Adam Ray
Over the back going on in the short crystal lunch room.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we didn't. Oh, God, I'm trying to think. I mean, I didn't really pull a lot of tail in. In high school. I. I didn't. I was insecure. I. I didn't like myself. I was.
Adam Ray
Dances were also for. I mean, it's wild to think. I'm sure you know this just how instrumental, you know, your music, you know, has been for that. But it's like, dude, that, like, when you tap into songs that you feel that you. Whether you know the words to them or not, like, getting the confidence to go out and dance to them was first and foremost. You know what I'm saying and. And liking it enough to want to participate. And then whatever happens after that is.
Ja Rule
Let me tell you, those. I mean, approaching women has changed. These kids, they don't even know how to approach women. They don't have to talk to a woman. They fucking on their computers or in the house or doing a few messages. They don't know how to really engage with women properly. It's weird.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, But I don't even know if they want the liability of talking to women anymore. I think half the guys are a.
Ja Rule
Little crazy these days.
Adam Carolla
They're worried about getting me too'd or making the wrong move.
Ja Rule
Because if you're a hot guy and you try to get at a girl or court a woman, it's that. It's just that. It's courting. You know what I mean? But if she doesn't like you, it's fucking harassment. Sexual harassment. Like, this is crazy.
Adam Ray
I mean, I have a rule of thumb. If you hug a woman. Woman with big boobs, don't say good out loud. And other than that, you should be fine, you know?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's. That's the problem is it's in the eye of the beholder. And women, I've seen it a million times at the workplace. At the workplace, there's cool guy and there's creepy guy. And if cool guy comes in and says to the hot chick, looks like someone had some fun this weekend, she goes, oh, get out of here, Steve. And they walk away. And then she turns her pink a little. If. If creepy guy comes in and goes, that's a nice dress. All right, I'm going to hr. Yeah, you.
Adam Ray
His intention was probably more sincere.
Ja Rule
I'm saying this is the reality.
Adam Carolla
It's all creepy guy versus cool guy. And problem with creepy guys is they never know they're creepy guys. That's why they're. That's how you're a creepy guy. And then I don't want to call.
Ja Rule
Them the creepy guy guy because then that makes him the creepy guy. Just, you know, they just.
Adam Ray
Not a season. It's a handful more reps. Need some deodorant, little confidence, maybe a PlayStation.
Ja Rule
Work in progress. Guy working.
Adam Ray
I like that. A W. He's the original W. He's.
Ja Rule
A W.
Adam Carolla
I. I always do this. It's my funnest hypothetical question for anyone. Any woman will go, they've worked at a place with super creepy guy. Cool guy. And I always say to them, here's my ultimate hypothetical question. The ultimate hypothetical question is when people do one answer and Then change their answer and then change back again and start asking if they can drink. That's how you know it's a good one. I go, look, what would you rather sleep with creepy guy? One night of sex with creepy guy. Now, when it's over, he doesn't know it and nobody knows it. It's erased from everyone's memory. But you sleep with him and you know it. Or you don't sleep with creepy guy. And everyone in the office knows you did, including creepy guy. Which one do you go for? And they go, I don't care. I wouldn't sleep with them. And I go, at the Christmas party, at the picnic, everybody in the office knows. And then they'll go, can I drink? And then that's when I know. That's when I know I got them.
Adam Ray
They'll toggle.
Adam Carolla
They'll go back and forth a. But it is the ultimate. And it's how you always know creepy guy. Because you just say to the office chick, imagine sleeping with Phil or whatever. And they go, oh.
Adam Ray
Oh.
Adam Carolla
They freak out, but it's not fair to them. They're just guys with male pattern baldness and bad orthodontia.
Ja Rule
What would be the equivalent of that on the female side? What would be, like, creepy girl? Who would she be?
Adam Carolla
We don't.
Ja Rule
I mean, it wouldn't be creepy girl. Just be, like, Latin hot girl, I guess.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we don't really factor the personality in enough to be creeped out.
Ja Rule
Yeah, we just.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
Ja Rule
Guys are guys. We just kind of. What you look like is Jeff.
Adam Ray
We're not too picky.
Adam Carolla
Well, here's. Here's another. Here's a hypothetical for both of you that we need to figure out now.
Ja Rule
Okay?
Adam Carolla
And, Dawson, you gotta help me with this. Cause I can't remember, but I did a numbers game, which is, you gotta be in a threesome. Right? And the threesome is. I think the numbers gotta add up to 10 or 11 or something like that. Do you go with an 8 and a 2?
Adam Ray
Oh, I gotcha.
Adam Carolla
Do you go with two fives? Like, two fives feels like. I don't know. What are we doing here?
Adam Ray
I already have my answer. One and nine and a nine. Yeah, but I mean, one has none.
Ja Rule
Yeah, I'm kind of with you. I might, you know, like, you know, two fives is not bad.
Adam Ray
That's probably the move. That's probably the move.
Ja Rule
Maybe seven.
Adam Carolla
Three. Two fives is like kissing your sister. It's like tying. You know what I mean? What are we doing here?
Adam Ray
One doesn't have all her teeth? Teeth. Does she at least, like, is she more mobile than the nut? Like, stretched out maybe, Like.
Ja Rule
But here's the other thing. But here's the other thing. Beauty is an eye to beholder.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Ja Rule
So those two fives could be two tens to you, depending on what you see now.
Adam Carolla
But here's the rub.
Adam Ray
Shot that down. There's no trying to connect. Jesus Christ.
Adam Carolla
There's no fooling the great magnet. The one is a one in your eye. You know what I mean? Like. Like, if there's. Like, if there's someone who reminds you of your mom or something, it's like, it's your version of a one and it's your version of a nine. That's all it is, right? Because for you, you might. A nine may be Asian, and for me may be Swedish. For you may be black. You know what I mean? It's our version of a 9 and our version of a 1.
Ja Rule
Yeah, I think I'd go like, 9, 1, 8, 2. Because then you can at least tell your partners and friends, like, I did the charity work. Look at the fucking. Look at the.
Adam Ray
Another friend.
Adam Carolla
So you go high. You go high, low.
Adam Ray
Yeah, I go high, low.
Ja Rule
You got.
Adam Ray
You got to go high low.
Ja Rule
Everybody can understand high, low.
Adam Carolla
I don't. I wouldn't go 82 if I'm going. I go nine.
Ja Rule
You got to do 91. That's the. You know.
Adam Carolla
And then what order do you go in?
Ja Rule
99.
Adam Carolla
You got to start with the. You start with it. You don't start with the nine.
Adam Ray
Give one a Sudoku and see how she does with that.
Ja Rule
99. And watches. I don't know.
Adam Carolla
You got to be equal time, equal effort. Effort.
Ja Rule
Jesus.
Adam Carolla
You gotta start with the one.
Ja Rule
All right, then you gotta start with the one.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you gotta start with the one.
Ja Rule
You gotta get the rub out, and then you're on. You're on beast mode time then, huh? Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And when you're done with the one, can she stay?
Ja Rule
Yeah, go ahead, hang out.
Adam Ray
That was definitely not convincing. Wow. I already. I saw him calling the Uber, as he said, yeah, hang out for a bit.
Ja Rule
Listen, somebody's gotta keep the music going, keep the drinks flowing and the weed blowing. So go ahead.
Adam Ray
Is Wait. I have a question for you. How much do you think. Because you were a part of that mtv trl, like, that pop off, right? Like. And nowadays, obviously, with, like, social media and just how. How much quicker somebody can get recognized or get exposure, there's a. I think a blessing and a curse to that Right. Of getting. And same same with us with, with comedians as far as like having a clip pop up off before you're ready to actually back it up. I just. How do you. I guess, what's your, your take on. Because you got to experience a more genuine like cream rises to the top. Like there's only a few spots to really get seen versus now everybody's got the chance.
Ja Rule
I'm torn with this because on one hand I really get it. Independent artistries, everything. Independent artists deserve to have their moment and their time, you know, or to be able to have an even playing field against the machine.
Adam Ray
Right.
Ja Rule
I get it. But then on the other side, after you see so many bad independent on it, you're like, fuck. The gatekeeper is also needed because it hand picked the best out of. You know, we had to pick it a litter. It wasn't like everybody was thinking they're an artist that can do this kind of the same thing to comedians. Well, you guys were always kind of like that. There was no label that signed comedians or anything like that. But you had to go through the circuit and if you were good, you fucking made it.
Adam Ray
Yes.
Ja Rule
You didn't get to go online and be funny for three seconds or whatever. And that's like baked in funny. You're not really fucking funny. Anybody could be. I could be funny for three seconds. Trust me. You know what I mean? So I think as much as I do love the independence. Independence of that and artists to be able to express themselves in that way, I also believe that artists should be. Artistry should be nurtured and you know, there's something there that. You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
No, I know what you mean in that I hear the story all the time. Adam, you probably hear it as well. You get these guys, they do this stuff online. They only have a few minutes of material, it catches fire and then the club books them and then it's. And they don't have an hour. No, they got 10 minutes of stuff. And they really shouldn't be up on that stage because the stage is like, you gotta work your way to that stage. They didn't do the work. They skip the process.
Adam Ray
Right.
Adam Carolla
And it's not fair to them because now they're up there bombing because someone sort of artificially pushed them to the front.
Adam Ray
Right? Yeah, you need the good support system. But the, the.
Ja Rule
But it is a little bit their full time too.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Ja Rule
Because if you, if anything that you want to make your career, you got to study the craft. You got to, you know, study the Greats want to be great. Like, I don't. I don't.
Adam Ray
You know, there's no replacement for the work. The reps are truly. And time is your best friend. Right. In both of our worlds.
Ja Rule
Probably do the work. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So Nelly.
Ja Rule
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Who always makes me laugh because he does.
Adam Ray
Met him at the Comedy Store. Yeah. About five years ago. I sit down. He. Chris Spencer. You know Chris Spencer, the comedian.
Ja Rule
I'm with him tonight, actually.
Adam Carolla
Host of Vibe.
Adam Ray
Let's go. Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
From back in the day, Chris, one.
Adam Ray
Of the funniest guys out there.
Ja Rule
I was just. When we just was all at Anthony Anderson's golf tournament, so we all played golf.
Adam Ray
Chris. Every time I see him, he's got another picture. He's like, here's me and Obama. He's me and Ray Allen. You know what I'm saying? Like golf. Like Jesus Christ, maybe.
Ja Rule
My show is me and Ja.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Adam Ray
Oh, yeah, dude. And I get off stage in the original. You've been to the Comedy Store before? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That room at the very front, the original room. And I sit down and. And somebody just smacks me. And he goes, great job, man. I look over and I just go, thanks, Nelly.
Adam Carolla
Nelly.
Adam Ray
And I'm like, you know, just sitting there. And that's how the story is sometimes. To live each other's shit. And yeah, he's cool shit. You guys are on tour.
Ja Rule
We on tour together, man. That's my dude.
Adam Ray
Let's go.
Ja Rule
We having a good time. We already did our Canadian run. That was amazing.
Adam Ray
Massive.
Ja Rule
Amazing.
Adam Ray
What a power combo, dude.
Ja Rule
It's a great one, too.
Adam Carolla
You don't how much see in comedy all the time. It's like, oh, he's coming back, but he's got new material. He's coming back, he's got new material. So everyone's always working, worried that you can't come back a year later, two years later, with the same stuff. But then for musicians, they want to hear the hits. So then how do you mix it up for us?
Ja Rule
It's pretty simple. Fans don't want you to sing new stuff, right? When you got a good catalog of hits, they want you to sing the hits. They don't want you to come doing new. I remember I got a great story. I remember I went to see Prince. Prince, God rest the dead. I love Prince. I went to see Prince and he fucking started doing all of this new shit, right? And everybody in the crowd was so pissed off. And nobody's gonna fucking say anything. Cause it's Prince. You know what I Mean, but we were pissed. We were fucking pissed. And then, you know, he finally started breaking into the hits and shit, and everybody rejoiced and was happy, but it was like. And then he does this snick. He does this. He used to do this little thing where he acts like he's not gonna fucking do Purple Rain and he leaves and he comes back and does Purple Rain. You know what I'm saying? So it's like everybody's mad like, you got. You ain't gonna do Purple Rain.
Adam Ray
I got a new one called Orange Storm.
Ja Rule
Yeah. So, you know, I'm a sponge, man. So I took that and learned from that, too. Like, you know, fans come to pay their money to come see a show, but they want to see the show. They want to see the hits. They want to see the music that they grew up to, that they had fun, too. They didn't pay their premium ticket to come see you do your new album that nobody fucking knows.
Adam Ray
It's a dancer, right? Ways to pepper something.
Ja Rule
You got it. That's what you gotta sprinkle em in.
Adam Ray
Come on, man.
Ja Rule
I start off my show.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Ja Rule
With a new record that I have called Dreams.
Adam Ray
Let's go.
Ja Rule
But the beauty of it is, I don't even perform the record. I just let it play. And they're in the moment of what's happening on stage while they're listening to the track. And so now what that does is they're in. They're so intrigued with the moment that they say, what the fuck is that playing in the back? That's him. That's a new Josh. Oh, what is that record? So now you get the. The curiosity factor versus me just trying to feed it to him and say, listen, the new thing. And so that's been working for me. People are really looking for that record now.
Adam Ray
Let's go.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, let's. Let's talk about order.
Ja Rule
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Cause in comedy. But I'll be curious what Adam has to say. You want to start out with a couple of good hits that you know is going to catch the audience easy, digestible, get out of the gate. And then you want to end with the strong stuff, and you can sort of pepper the new stuff in between. Catching them at the beginning, getting them at the end, but then you get into the end. Well, there's stuff you like, and there's stuff your audience may like more than you like. So, like, we all have jokes where we go, this is a better joke. But they. They're not me, and they don't know Enough to know this is a better joke. They like this simpler joke, which I don't love as much, but it's a better joke to end on. And then. So are you giving them what they want by taking a song that's not your favorite? No, but giving it to them because it's their favorite.
Ja Rule
That type of thing, you know, I don't do. I curate my show the way I curate the show, and I give it to them in a full package. It's almost like going in and creating the joke for the first time. You know, you don't know if it's gonna work, but you know it's funny. And so it's that same energy. I'm gonna. You know, you have to walk people into what they don't know. They like, do you have. That's a very weird thing. But the creators, we know how to do it.
Adam Carolla
Do you have instances? I mean, maybe not doing a show or maybe doing a show, because Adam knows this. He'll go, I got this joke. I think it's funny. I know it's funny. And then you do it, and it doesn't land like you want it to land, but then you go backstage and you go, I didn't do it correctly. Like, I. I screwed it. I screwed the presentation.
Ja Rule
It's a rhythm and the timing on it. So maybe if you didn't land it right, you know, it didn't hit right.
Adam Carolla
You don't have that. Do you have that in your art?
Ja Rule
Not really. Because you. You're doing the record that everybody knows and loves, and so it's kind of like just fucking. Don't forget the words. And you're pretty much solid, you know?
Adam Ray
What's the order with you now? You guys swap it up each night or.
Ja Rule
Nah, Nelly. Well, we co. Head on it, but Nelly's shutting down the show, so I'm, you know, I'm cool with that.
Adam Ray
Yeah, you can't lose either way.
Ja Rule
Yeah, either way, you're getting. You know, you got all the guys before us, and then me and Nelly shut it down.
Adam Ray
When does the American tour get going?
Ja Rule
We start in July.
Adam Ray
Let's go. Dude. How many cities?
Ja Rule
40.
Adam Ray
40. Let's go, dude.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. Are you on a bus most of.
Ja Rule
The time or flying on the bus the whole time?
Adam Ray
You like it relaxing?
Ja Rule
Yeah.
Adam Ray
Bus is cool, right? Oh, you got your bus. Oh, yeah. Well, then there you go. Go, dude.
Ja Rule
Be on it. Chilling.
Adam Ray
Yeah, you. You also probably get the back of the. But I've been on comedy buses where I got the coffin. The panini coffin.
Ja Rule
Oh, yeah. Well, my guys got the coffin. I got the. The. The king size in the back. Is.
Adam Ray
The crew, though, is. I mean, makes the bus experience the best.
Ja Rule
We have a good time, man. We. We up front. We playing video games, you know, on the ride, Smoking the bus. Smoking?
Adam Ray
Come on, dude.
Ja Rule
It's a vibe.
Adam Ray
I'm gonna have to hop on one of those. You guys gonna do Seattle?
Ja Rule
For sure.
Adam Ray
That's my home. What are you playing up there?
Ja Rule
I don't know.
Adam Ray
Yeah, I don't know.
Ja Rule
I don't know. We, you know, we're doing all the live nation buildings.
Adam Ray
Oh, cool.
Ja Rule
And so they have like these amazing, you know, 20, 30,000 seater amphitheater spaces. Outdoor.
Adam Ray
Oh, yeah.
Ja Rule
So we decided, let's go out. Let's. We're gonna be out in the summer. Let's be outside.
Adam Ray
Dude, that's gonna rip.
Ja Rule
So it's gonna be. It's gonna be a.
Adam Carolla
What are the best cities for you, man?
Ja Rule
You know, everybody thinks, like, the big cities are the better cities, but usually, you know, those Midwest cities, those, you know, more rural parts of the country that don't get a lot of concerts, they go nuts, for sure.
Adam Ray
Oh, yeah, dude.
Ja Rule
So I like doing those cities a little bit more. Don't get me wrong. I love doing the big cities, too, but, you know, there's a different energy on those smaller towns.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, they kind of appreciate you coming out.
Ja Rule
Absolutely.
Adam Ray
Right.
Ja Rule
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And then, except for it's always ruined because the next day you're at breakfast somewhere and somebody spots you and you're like, in Appleton, Wisconsin, and they go, adam.
Adam Ray
Carolla.
Adam Carolla
What are you doing here? I'm a huge fan. I go, I just played last night. You did? I'm like, really? The word. The word never got to you? You're a huge fan. You live in Appleton, Wisconsin. Nothing. Yeah, nothing.
Ja Rule
That's funny.
Adam Carolla
How big a fan are you that you didn't know I was coming to your little town?
Ja Rule
But you also get those ones that. Man, I seen you last night. You were great, man. Get those.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I. Once in a while, guy go. I checked out Cha Rule last night. You're gonna finish those eggs. So. Yeah, the bus, it's. It's weird. Like, traveling by bus sucks. Unless you get a good bus, in which case it's better than flying.
Ja Rule
Yeah.
Adam Ray
May I?
Ja Rule
Oh, please. Please do. Please.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Ja Rule
So what's the amber Opal.
Adam Ray
Guys, Dr. Phil here. And when I get up during the day, it's only one drink of choice. Look, there's Every different type of way to eat a Reese's. Look, I got an Adam crawler butt plug in right now, but that doesn't mean that I like it. I'm just supporting my friends and my new friend, Ja Rule. Can I call you Ja?
Ja Rule
Absolutely.
Adam Ray
All right, I'll take it from here. This is Ja Rules, Amber and Opal, which is. Tastes good going in, tastes better coming out. That's what she said. Don't cancel me. And remember, if you're drinking this at home by yourself, shave your head, your back, your, and your crack. We'll be right back. We'll keep it right here.
Ja Rule
We'll keep it right here.
Adam Ray
Listen to the sound, too. Ready?
Adam Carolla
He named his whiskey after strippers. Opal. To the champagne Room.
Ja Rule
You know, the Amber and Opal has a good. The name is. Has. Has a good story behind the. Amber is obviously the hue, the color of the liquor, but the Opal is, you know, it's basically our brand messaging. You know, we're a black owned brand. It's me and my three brothers. Not my three real brothers, my three good friends.
Adam Ray
Let's go.
Ja Rule
That we did this together. But, you know, sometimes when you say it's a black owned brand, you get that stigma of it's for black people only. You know what I'm saying?
Adam Ray
Oh, really?
Ja Rule
So sometimes you wouldn't even think that.
Adam Ray
No, it wasn't even there.
Ja Rule
But, you know, but the open opal is a precious stone that comes in a variety of colors. Black, white, yellow, beige. So we wanted that to be indicative of our message. This is amber and Opal. This is the color and this is the liquor that is inclusive of all.
Adam Ray
I love that, though.
Adam Carolla
It's good. And I gotta say, in terms of being inclusive to all cultures, I. I think I tried Snoop Dogg's cotton candy vodka or something. And I. I don't think that's for my culture. I do want to say that. But this is.
Ja Rule
Yeah, this.
Adam Carolla
This is because it's just got the right amount of sweetness.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
The night goes down easy.
Ja Rule
The ladies like it too.
Adam Ray
Do they really?
Ja Rule
Yeah, because it's sweeter. Little sweeter.
Adam Ray
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I remember having, like, Jack Daniels had a hunter. Jack. At one point, it was too sweet, and it also just tasted like Rush. Does that make sense?
Ja Rule
Now I'm. I'm gonna just say Jack Daniels is not. It's not real liquor. It's liqueur. It's, you know, it's syrupy and syrups and things.
Adam Ray
That's what I'm saying. It was Too sweet.
Ja Rule
Yeah, this is all natural, real, honey. We use, you know, everything. But I don't want to discredit my Jack Daniels guys because I'll tell y'.
Adam Ray
All still fuck with them.
Ja Rule
Big shout to Jack Daniels. But I'm gonna tell you a quick funny story. So we was just at Anthony Anderson's golf tournament. And so they do the charitable part.
Adam Carolla
I just went to him and Cedric's rib. I'm trying to get a little bread here. They got a barbecue.
Ja Rule
They got a barbecue thing.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, only white dude.
Adam Ray
I just went to a Panera that Mark Morrison opened to cut the ribbon. No, I'm joking. I was just trying to be part.
Adam Carolla
Of the turnaround barbecue place.
Ja Rule
I have it, but I had some of the sauce when we were at the thing.
Adam Ray
Is it good?
Ja Rule
It's good, it's good. So they're doing all of the, you know, know auctions and they're doing trips and giveaways and shit. So they have this trip that comes up and it's a fucking trip to the Jack Daniels facilities.
Adam Ray
Come on.
Ja Rule
And the Sea Dweller facility.
Adam Ray
And it's like Wonka's Factory.
Ja Rule
Yeah. So they. So basically I said, okay, this is where we could go fucking learn some of the secrets.
Adam Ray
Good call.
Ja Rule
So my paddle goes up. Anthony Anderson says, is that fucking Ja Rule paddle? Oh, I see what you trying to do. You trying to go steal the secret shit. So now me and this other guy were going back and forth for the fucking bid. And I said, so I said, you know what? I said, you can have it. Because the other thing was they was gonna give you, like, it was like fucking 500 bottles or 50 bottles or something like that of Jack Daniels. And I'm like, I have my own whiskey. That shit's not gonna get drinking. But anyway, so I let the guy get it.
Adam Carolla
That's hilarious.
Ja Rule
So, you know, lo and behold, afterwards, the Jack Daniels guys came up to me and they said, ja, we would love to have you out of our facility to come steal the secrets. You know what I'm saying? They said, but no, you don't gotta steal them. We'll give them to you, talk to you about this. They were very gracious and, and, and, you know, saying they would help us. You know, we're brand new brand, they're billion dollar company. You can help the fledgling guy 1000 get a leg up, you know. So I, I, I really want to say big shout out to, oh, that's huge. The guys at Jack Daniels for that, man. I respect them.
Adam Carolla
I gotta say. As a brother, I would have thoughts about going to a place called Lynchburg, Tennessee. It's got the word Lynch. I wouldn't worry about a guy who.
Ja Rule
Ride with pistols, man. We good. We got the pistol arrows on us at all times.
Adam Ray
Wait, what did you. You probably can't share, but were there things that stood out that they shared with you at the jack factory?
Ja Rule
I didn't go yet. I didn't go yet.
Adam Ray
Oh, you haven't gone.
Ja Rule
I haven't gone yet. This happened just last night, so. So I'm gonna go, but. Yeah, I'm gonna go, but, yeah, you know, they. They were very gracious and I appreciate it.
Adam Ray
Yeah, there could be some game change. I mean, you guys are. You're pretty locked and loaded, but yeah, we're moving.
Ja Rule
We know we're in Total Wines and, you know, we're on reserve, but. And seal box and flavia.com, which is a real big seller.
Adam Ray
How do you get into like comedy clubs and shit like that?
Ja Rule
Is that we got to walk them down.
Adam Ray
Really?
Ja Rule
Yeah. So we've been doing that though. I've been walking down all of the nice. All the hot spots, you know, all of all the restaurants.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Ja Rule
And different clubs.
Adam Ray
I'm sure they're pumped too. If you're walking in with a bottle, I'm sure they're.
Ja Rule
At least we gotta. So when you. When you're in a nightclub that had that serves our whiskey, order a bottle, you would be pleasantly surprised.
Adam Ray
Cool.
Ja Rule
It comes with a special service. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Adam Ray
So I already have a rubbing tug.
Ja Rule
No. So you know, you know how they do the bottle services and stuff. It's always fucking sparklers and the shit that nobody cares about. So what we did with Amber and Opal is when you order a bottle of Amber and Opal, it comes with a lookbook of recipes that you can make, you know, cocktails that you can. And it also comes with a mixologist. So he's gonna come and make the drinks right there. You know, he does the fucking shit.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Ja Rule
Hey, we got people like the flair. Yeah. So. So that's a. That's our own little touch. When you order the bottle, get a little show at your table and he'll make some of the different cocktails that we. That we make.
Adam Carolla
So they're there. They got a full time mixologist only at certain spots. Certain spots.
Ja Rule
Only at certain spots. But what I'm trying to do is get my. Get every, you know, spot that I'm doing, doing this with to let them know, like, listen, let this Be a situation. We'll pay for it. We'll, you know, because they. They upcharge you at the club. So we can take a little bit off and put it to the good move. Pay for the good move.
Adam Carolla
Well, we have a little time remaining, and I'd be remiss if I didn't ask you about the whole Fire Festival, which is fire.
Adam Ray
It's.
Adam Carolla
It's. It's a tough subject, but, you know.
Ja Rule
It'S not really not.
Adam Carolla
I only know what I heard on tmz. So I'm curious of your side of the whole Fyre festival thing.
Ja Rule
My side is simple, man. You know, I too am a victim. I too was bamboozled, hoodwinked, led astray. So, you know, that's my side of it. You know, I had an amazing idea to do something out of the box, you know, for festivals, you know, make it an experience versus just, you know, something that you go see a concert or whatever, you know, So I wanted to do something special. So we had had an amazing plan and put together, but it got outshined by greed and people who wanted to do business a little bit of outside the spectrum of what things you'd normally have done. And so that's what Billy did. And I can't really knock him. I haven't really spoke about this too, like how gonna talk about right now, because in my world, where I come from, he definitely was a standup guy in the sense of he took his fall, he took his shit. You know what I'm saying? He could have the police. I'm gonna just say the feds gave him the opportunity to roll on me. They didn't come pick me up. They came pick him up. And so when they picked him up, he told him, Ja didn't have nothing to do with none of this. I did everything. But what they wanted him to say was, was it was this motherfucker go get him.
Adam Ray
Wow.
Ja Rule
You know what I'm saying? They gave him.
Adam Ray
They always want cause bigger story or what?
Ja Rule
Just I'm Ja Rule, you know what I'm saying? They would love to lock Ja Rule up for the shit, but the reality of it was is he was doing things to fraud the investors to get the money to actually do the shit. And that wasn't my part of the business. And so that's why I didn't get any jail time. I was cleared of all wrongdoing. But I still. I lost a lot in that, you know, I lost a lot. I lost, you know, some reputational value, you know, that I, you know, it's hard to gain that back. It takes time to gain that back. And then, you know, some money was lost too, you know, because, you know, I had to, you know, settle up some of these situations and some of the people that. So, you know, so I dealt with it the way it was supposed to be dealt with, and he did not. And, you know, he went to prison. And so I'm glad that chapter's behind me.
Adam Carolla
Did you have. And I'll tell you the worst part of this, or what could be the worst part. If there's somebody, especially a woman like your woman, who told you, don't do this. Don't get involved with this. And you're like, quiet down. I know what I'm doing. She will never. For the next thousand years, you will never forget this. They will never let you forget. Did you have one person management, A woman in a family member? Go, don't get involved.
Adam Ray
Billy told me the sandwiches were going to be turkey with no crust on the bread.
Ja Rule
Quite the opposite.
Adam Carolla
Ah, good. At least that's good.
Ja Rule
I'm going to tell you why. As an officer of the company, rightfully so. I could have took a salary or, you know something. I didn't take a dollar.
Adam Ray
Oh, wow.
Ja Rule
And all of my advisors, well, like, Jah, you're entitled to some of that money. You can take a salary or whatever. I watched like 40, $50 million blow through my fucking account and did not touch a dollar. That's why I didn't get in no trouble, I feel, because once you take the money, they don't really want to hear about, you didn't know. Being stupid is not an excuse for fucking committing crimes. You know what I'm saying? And so the best thing that I did was not. I didn't need it. I didn't need any money. So it wasn't me being, you know, greedy for the money or anything like that. So that was the best thing that I did was deny to. To take a salary or anything. I was waiting for the. For the real. For real bucks, you know, once we done with it and, you know, we could, you know, go ahead and make the real money.
Adam Ray
Do you still have aspirations to do a big festival like that? Because, I mean, the idea.
Ja Rule
Absolutely not.
Adam Ray
Oh, no, that was. That ship sailed because I had a.
Ja Rule
Small picture sunk like the Titanic. I don't want. No, but you know why, though, too, Because I see all these other things that happen at festivals. One of my guys is Pasquale. He does like, you know, EDC and rolling Loud and shit. And, you know, we had a conversation. He's like, yeah, he's Pascal's funny. He's like, jah, I get sued every fucking year. Oh, yeah, because there's so many things that go on at these festivals. Yeah. And I'm like, for real? And I'm like, I'm thinking your crush. He's like, yeah, we make it, we're making money. But every year there's some shit, there's this, there's that. He's like, it sued every fucking year. I do these things. And so I get it because I get sued all the time too, for all kinds of fucking bullshit. But. And I'm sure you guys have been through down that road.
Adam Carolla
If you're successful, you get sued. That's just it.
Adam Ray
I got a cruise idea. You, me, Tracy Chapman, Keith Sweat, Adam Carolla, Luke Combs, and Billy Ocean.
Adam Carolla
Oh, it's got the word Ocean right in the title.
Adam Ray
Wait, who do you. Who you do. Do you fuck with right now? Like, artist wise, like, who are the people always ask, you know, comedians, like, who they're looking at, who's coming up or who just got you into it. But, like, who are the man?
Ja Rule
You know, like, if you had to.
Adam Ray
Pull somebody to go.
Ja Rule
Yeah, you know, I listen to a lot of new artists. I don't know all of them by name. I just know some of the songs and sing along and like, I like this one, but I don't really know the artist. But I mean, really, like the. The latest. The last artist that I really know and know their names is like Drake and Kendrick and Sza and you know, Summer Walker. Those are like the last group artists that I actually know their names and shit. And they all, A lot of them came out like, you know, almost 10 years ago. Not SZA and summer, but you know, Drake and Kendrick. They're older artists, but a lot of the new guys, I really don't. Don't know them by name like that, but I know some of their songs.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, let me give you a plug because I know you got an out here. Where? The Party at the World tour. They've done Canada. They're coming here, starting. It's going to kick off July 23, US leg.
Ja Rule
The rest of the crew is actually out in UK right now, so go check them out. I'm not allowed in the uk, so I didn't make that. I couldn't make that run. But go ahead, Adam, because you rocked.
Adam Carolla
Too hot because you were tearing weed.
Ja Rule
It's a little more educated than that. But it's okay.
Adam Carolla
All right, you know what? Let me tell you something. Not being allowed in a country, it's like having your hands registered as a weapon. It sounds bad, but it's good. You know what I mean? It's like being thrown out of a casino for winning too much, you know? Like, it sounds bad if someone said, I know nothing about this dude except for he's never allowed back in Scotland. He was thrown out of Caesars for winning too much, and his hands are registered in Nevada's weapons. You go, that's the fucking coolest. I want to have a drink with.
Adam Ray
That dude for sure.
Adam Carolla
Don't with him, Ja. Real great to see you.
Ja Rule
You too, man.
Adam Carolla
Come back soon. Whenever the tour bus comes by.
Ja Rule
I love your spot, man. It's dope, man. It looks beautiful. If you guys. You'll probably never see Adam's space, but it's fucking pretty dope.
Adam Carolla
Well, thanks, Ja Rule. All right, we'll take a break. Adam's gonna hang out, have a little more of Ja Rule's beautiful Opal spirit, and we'll bring in mayhem. We'll do a little news right after this select quote. There's so many things in life we just never get around to taking up that hobby cleaning the garage. You know, the little things that really make a huge difference in our lives. Yet there's one thing that most of us have probably been neglecting that can have a huge impact on our family's future. It's life insurance. And with Select Quote, getting covered with the right policy for you is easier and more affordable than you may think. If you have high blood pressure, no problem. If you have diabetes, that is fine, too. Even if you have heart disease, Select Quote partners with carriers that can cover those conditions and others. So head to selectquote.com and a licensed insurance agent will call you right away with the right policy for your life and your budget. It's Select Quote right? Dawes Select Quote.
Adam Ray
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Adam Carolla
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Adam Ray
Stream all the movies and shows you love for free on Pluto tv. Say Wetna show TV time. That means drama is free with heart wrenching stories from love and basketball power and Greenleaf. In this family we live by the spirit and laughter is free with gut busting comedies like Pee and Peele, the Neighborhood, Everybody Hates Chris and Boomerang. Watch all the hits all for free from all your favorite devices.
Ja Rule
Oh, my God, I love it.
Adam Carolla
Feel the free Pluto TV stream now pay. Never.
Adam Ray
My mom crushed it. My mom stepped up a lot. She bought me condoms. She thought that was the move. Was it awkward?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, for sure.
Adam Ray
Was I nine?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, almost.
Adam Ray
Were they magnums?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
But she believed in me, and that's someone that. Thank you. I love her, too. I think she's a great lady. And she thought I could get halfway in there. Adam Ray is on the Adam Carolla show.
Adam Carolla
Adam's dates all over the place. You go to adamraycomedy.com Dr. Phil's coming to town near you. And we've got new shows coming out as well. All right. Mayhem. You got some news?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, I do. I got some news. New Orleans jail employee accused of helping 10 violent inmates escape. Said one threatened to shank him.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Here's some footage of the guy's escape. And apparently The Sterling Williams, 33, admitted to cutting off the water and cells the Orlean Parish justice center so inmates could pull the toilet from the wall and escape.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right. So when I'm hiring for the new jail, part of the interview process is, do you have an issue with potentially being shanked? Because if the answer is yes, turn around, the door's right there.
Adam Ray
Put a target.
Adam Carolla
I need people who are okay with the possibility and notion of being shanked. Otherwise, you can't work in the shank capital of the world, which is this prison.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You have to know that if you work in this jail, you could be murdered.
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Adam Ray
So sorry. They pulled the toilet. Fireworks supposed to go off when you said that?
Adam Carolla
And the guy shut the water so that it could pull the toilet off the wall.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, yeah, exactly right. And then they all got. All these guys are still missing in action.
Adam Ray
How many?
Jason Mayhem Miller
10.
Adam Ray
Wow.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. 10 total. Some of them.
Adam Carolla
Oh, they're not all missing, though.
Adam Ray
Oh, okay.
Adam Carolla
And then one guy that found sleeping story on a bench.
Adam Ray
Do you think they make some of these prisons, like, so that you can break it? Like, because, I mean, I don't know, is it. Does it get stagnant for the security to where they're like, dude, I was. I love a good. Because, you know, like a bouncer. Like a. Yeah, A club. Any bouncer I've ever talked to. I was like, you ever fight getting fights? They go, oh, yeah, you gotta. They love it, dude. So. So is there ever a time where it gets so monotonous and still where they're like, I just would love a break in right now, dude. I love. Or a breakout to where I could step in. In and. And throw down some hammer.
Adam Carolla
I miss tunneling out of prison.
Adam Ray
Me too.
Adam Carolla
It was a big part of my childhood. Like, this guy's gonna tunnel out.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Well, just so you guys know that they did tunnel out, technically, behind the toilets is a service tunnel. They got through there. They got up out of there.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
This is usually how any time they break out of jail, this is how it goes through the toilet, through the back to the back service.
Adam Carolla
There we go. They always get caught, though, because first off, they already got caught. That's why they're breaking out. And a lot of them are just wearing orange onesies, which is tough. Also miss the part. It's gotta be tough breaking out of prison in modern times. Because in old times they always had this scene where the guys were wearing their jailbird outfits, but they came across the clothesline, right, that had the. Had the button up shirts and the jeans on it. And the next thing they were wearing.
Jason Mayhem Miller
That there's no more clothes windowsills.
Adam Carolla
There's no clothesline action anymore. I think. I think Chris Carolla was the last woman in modern society to use a clothesline. We had a clothesline.
Adam Ray
I think the same way that like Dawson's not allowed within 15ft of schools. I think most prisons aren't allowed within like 15ft of clotheslines.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's 150 yards. But I get what you're saying. 15ft. Feet.
Adam Ray
I kid, I kid. He's actually. They invite him to most schools. It's actually the opposite to speak.
Adam Carolla
That's right. Scared straight.
Adam Ray
Yeah, Scared straight. I would love to see Dawson do a scared Straight. Holy. Wait, Dawson, real quick. I'm the kid ready. You ain't Mr. I'll you up.
Adam Carolla
Suck my dick.
Adam Ray
You're gonna be someone's in about 45 seconds, huh?
Adam Carolla
Perfect.
Adam Ray
Perfect. And scene. You got the job.
Jason Mayhem Miller
All right, man. Jump by. Coyote saves himself by strangling it for 10 minutes. It was either him or me.
Adam Carolla
I encounter coyotes, and they're a weird combination of scared and timid and weird and aggressive. Like, they're kind of both. Like, normally, you know, rabbits are easy. They just run. They always run. And then grizzly bears always charge, Right? Coyotes are like. Sometimes they stalk and sometimes they run. And it's unclear which one you're getting.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's a little guy at the bar. You know what I mean?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he's.
Jason Mayhem Miller
He's rangy.
Adam Carolla
We don't know.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Get it out. Get after it.
Adam Carolla
This. This guy choked out a coyote.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. Funny. He was having a smoke outside his home in Roxboro and suddenly felt like something was watching him. Felt like something was hunting him. And then suddenly a coyote emerged from the woods and charged at him. He jumped at him. He caught him in the air and he was biting him. So he threw him down and he had to rip his left hand out of the coyote's mouth and then put.
Adam Ray
Choke him.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, two heads. And I argue that 10 minutes is excessive.
Adam Carolla
Oh, he choked him for 10 minutes.
Jason Mayhem Miller
10 minutes. Two minutes would do the trick. Kids, if you're watching at home. But yeah, if you're looking to minutes is too much.
Adam Ray
I mean, who knows, though? How many coyotes have you killed?
Adam Carolla
That's a good point.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I'm basing off men.
Adam Ray
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. But who knows? Maybe. Maybe the coyote took it. Maybe he. You know, he. I don't know. Also, I didn't know coyotes attacked people. I thought they were just like animals, only like cats.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Desperate enough and hungry, they'll go for it.
Adam Carolla
There's weird, outlier coyotes who, like, follow you at a distance. I've had those. I've had those fall at the distance. Coyote. There's one in my new neighborhood. Just makes noise up on the lawn. And it's always unclear when you're walking toward them whether they leave or you leave. They have a weird relationship with power. And they do this thing all the time where they go, oh, they're eating the dogs. They eat meat and they live in the nature. And if you got a little dog, they want to eat it. This guy seems unlikely as a coyote. He's got dreads. He looks like he's rastafarian he looks like he plays the steel drum, come in a. In a band, but he's not the guy. I pictured killing the coyote with his hands.
Adam Ray
Also, where does the coyote. It's one of those creatures, too, that I go, why did we make that one? Like, what is it? Who is it serving? Who is it? Where. Where are they adding value? I don't know.
Jason Mayhem Miller
The snagging jack. Jackrabbits off the planes, usually.
Adam Ray
Oh, is that okay? Yeah, but I know we had a jackrabbit.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Trash cans. They figured out trash cans has been game over everybody.
Adam Carolla
I had rabbits. My roommate had rabbits in my first apartment in North Hollywood. And rabbits. We just keep feeding them. They just keep getting fatter and fatter and fatter. They don't stop growing. They just keep eating. These are a whole head of cabbage into the cage. It's gone in five minutes. They just eat the whole thing. And then at some point, he said, I came home. And I was like, where are the rabbits? He's like, I set them free. I was like, you took morbidly obese, declawed rabbits and you set them free? He goes, yeah, I go.
Adam Ray
Where?
Adam Carolla
He goes in Laurel Canyon Hills. I go, there's nothing but coyotes up there because I set them free. I go, these rabbits can barely move. They've never met anything in the wild. They get hand fed. What do you mean you sent them to their death? He's like, I set them free. I go. I go. The only way these rabbits are making it through night one is if the coyotes are suspicious and think it's a trick. Like those are exploding rabbits or poison rabbits they make. They'll get through night one because morbidly obese rabbits being dropped off on their doorstep is going to make them suspicious, but they're not making it two days in the wild. Just so you know. You sent those rabbits to their death. That's all I wanted to know.
Ja Rule
Why?
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Yeah. I don't. I don't get all the coyotes. They're out there. They eat little dogs. They'll eat whatever. They all get together. They get in heat. They try to draw the dogs out. Like, it's. It's weird that we have. It's weird that we have dogs and then we have wolves and we have coyotes and we have wild dogs. We have domesticated. Like somebody. Somebody figured out. Like, dogs just figured out. Look, show up, make friends, be nice. You'll get fed. Like, do something. You know what I mean?
Adam Ray
Yeah, that's.
Adam Carolla
That's where they come from.
Adam Ray
I Had to drop. We have two cavapoos, pickles and bagel. Right. Pickles is five bagels. One.
Adam Carolla
And wait, what's a cabapoo?
Adam Ray
Cavapoo is a King Charles spaniel and poodle mix.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
What the hell are you talking about?
Adam Ray
I know that. That's fancy.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Figure this one out.
Adam Ray
Yeah, yeah. And. And I had to drop pickles off. We were trying out somebody to, like, watch them when we went out of town. And, you know, people sometimes disclose everyone the same way you were talking about, like, you know, with Ja Rule, like, what you think of one or nine is.
Ja Rule
Is.
Adam Ray
Is. We all have our own set of goggles. And the gal goes, yeah, or a dog. We have another small dog, so they'll all get along. Small dog. This was the size of the small dog, and it was like a. A wolf and had those beady eyes. And it was a male. And both our dogs are gals. And, you know, they've been fixed, but still, that doesn't mean they can't get butt. So this dog is chasing Pickles around. Who's fine.
Adam Carolla
Sound like my grandfather.
Adam Ray
Look, you can get fixed. Doesn't mean you can't take a good ass Raymond on Shabbat. So. So. So this dog's chasing Pickles around and mounting her. And I go. And I'm like, asking questions, and I'm like, oh. And she just goes, oh, well, keep an eye on that. I'll keep an eye on that.
Adam Carolla
Is.
Adam Ray
You're, like, calming me down. I'm like, oh, is that gonna be. And there wasn't a lot of room to roam, so I eventually ended up picking them up and being like, oh, you know what? I actually forgot. I gotta take them home and pick up. And I got out of there.
Jason Mayhem Miller
But I thought you're gonna say you fed them to a coyote.
Adam Ray
I did. That was. Yeah. Well, if I. If this story really had a strong end. But the size difference of certain dogs, like, it felt like a mini cat.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
Once they get about this big and the dogs have beady eyes. I don't know. I don't know.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, black eyes, like a doll's eyes.
Adam Ray
Tom Selleck.
Adam Carolla
No, that's from Jaws.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Trump wants a major investigation into Beyonce, Oprah and other endorsements of Harris. Yeah. Donald Trump plans to call it major investigation and celebrity endorsements that Kamala Harris received during the 2024 Campaign. Campaign. Alleging without evidence that Bruce Springsteen, Oprah Winfrey, U2's Mano, and Beyonce were paid to publicly support the Democratic nominee.
Adam Carolla
You know, there should be A reverse endorsement. Which is. Okay, dig this, Adam Ray. Nobody gives a shit about the celebrity endorsements anymore. They don't work. You know what I mean? Like George Clooney thinks no one gives a fuck. Oprah. Whatever.
Adam Ray
There was a.
Adam Carolla
There was a time, but the ship has sailed.
Adam Ray
Yeah, I think so.
Adam Carolla
Like the Mexican Navy. And we've moved on. We've turned the page. Thank you. Now here's what you would do. I would say, like, if I was running Kamala's campaign, I wouldn't go. Look, they'll go. We could give $5 million to Beyonce and she would endorse you. I'd go, listen, the people like Beyonce are already voting for you. And the ones who don't like Beyonce are not gonna vote for you. Just cause Beyonce, you're not gonna win. You're not gonna win over one person.
Adam Ray
It's a wasted Instagram bonus.
Adam Carolla
I' we could do instead of 5 million to Beyonce, we give 10 grand to Jared Fogle to endorse Trump.
Adam Ray
Yes.
Adam Carolla
We get anti endorsements. You know what I mean? We get the head of the kkk. We get pedophiles. We get Harvey Weinstein.
Adam Ray
We get all the dregs of Brian Laundry's parents.
Adam Carolla
That's right. We get all. Yeah, yeah.
Adam Ray
The people that are covering up murders. Right?
Adam Carolla
We get the most despicable people on the planet. We give them eight grand and they will gladly endorse Trump.
Adam Ray
Bro, that's so funny.
Adam Carolla
And that's how we do. Because we're going to reverse engineer the endorsement.
Adam Ray
That's brilliant. Because.
Adam Carolla
What? Look, okay, it would be great. It would be great if Winston Churchill endorsed you, but if Adolf Hitler endorsed you, it'd be much worse.
Adam Ray
The damage is greater. Right?
Adam Carolla
So let's think anti endorsement and let's see if we can. Joey Buttafuoco four grand. Yeah, we can get it. If that. Yeah, if that. I'm rounding up. Maybe just some duct tape, whatever's in the ashtray of. Of your Toyota. We'll go with Joe. We'll take P. Diddy. Will endorse. I got a whole list of people. Michael Avenatti will endorse. I got a list of endorsement. Honey Boo Boo's mom, I'll do an endorsement.
Adam Ray
She's.4 grand.
Adam Carolla
This is Boo Boo. Like, what could a murderous row of horrible endorsers get?
Adam Ray
Some cartoon characters in there, right?
Adam Carolla
And they. And that's the way to go.
Adam Ray
I think so.
Adam Carolla
Because we're now at a point where you can't add votes, but you can take Them away.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And a bet and a good, bad endorsement will work also, like the celeb.
Adam Ray
Just the power and influence. It's. It still, you know, shows itself in pockets.
Adam Carolla
But I can get the whole. I can get all of nickel back for 30 grand to do the ante.
Adam Ray
Don't joke about that, by the way.
Adam Carolla
I know want to. I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to jinx it, but I'm saying I'm going for anti endorsement.
Adam Ray
Wow.
Adam Carolla
Let's throw my name in the ring.
Ja Rule
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean? I'd probably make some cash doing an endorsement. An anti endorsement. Yeah.
Adam Ray
I'd love to skip Sacramento.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right. So, yeah, he's suing them because they got paid. What. What did she. Did she go through, like, $2 billion worth of campaign? Yeah, whatever. It's. It's. It's the weirdest. We're living in a world where LA or California can spend 24 billion on homelessness and we can have more homeless, and you can spend 2 billion on a campaign and lose, and we can spend 80 billion on a train that doesn't go anywhere and doesn't work. It's a lot of money flying around for not a lot of results, is what I'm saying. Yeah.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
There is nothing coming out the other end.
Adam Ray
I was about to try to say something profound, but this.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Everybody had some jobs.
Adam Ray
This Amber and Opal was.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Exactly.
Adam Ray
But. But it is, man. There's. There's a. There's just a lot of different ways to spend the money. And I think every. I mean, you didn't have to pay probably them. Like, I think you were saying they were gonna vote for them anyway or. Or sport. I don't know who came up with that idea. Maybe it was Beyonce's people that were like, yo, like, you should let them know that, like, you're down for a pay to play or a. Yeah, I don't know if that happened.
Ja Rule
Yeah.
Jason Mayhem Miller
I don't know how they do, like, this kind of thing. Is it just out in the open or does your manager talk in code or, you know, it's like, hey, it would be really great if Beyonce would.
Adam Ray
It also might not even be true, the amount of thing. Like, honestly, the. Like, can we also, like, recognize, like, how many things are flying out every day and headline, clickbait. We're going, dude. Well, it was printed. It's probably true. This might also be total.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Ray
And I'm just playing both sides.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. 1.5 billion and 15 weeks, which is a hundred million a week because they.
Adam Ray
Also have so much fucking money that I'm almost like, really? Oprah needed cash to. You know. I'm saying, like, for what?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Well, Trump said that it was $11 million to Beyonce, but it's unclear where he got that number.
Adam Ray
I mean, report.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, here's.
Adam Ray
I mean, let's also.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, but here's the thing. Here's the thing with everything. No matter how rich you are, the idea behind making 5 million in an afternoon. And also, they always tell you, you don't have to do what you're known for. You know what I mean? Like, Adam, I got a whole bunch of money. Corporate gig, 5 million bucks. No jokes. No jokes. You just walk out there, say hi, and leave. And no singing, no whatever it is you do. You don't have to do any of that. No cage fights, no nothing. Just show up, say hi, and leave.
Jason Mayhem Miller
You would have went to the Fyre Festival.
Adam Carolla
I'm saying, the reason people go, why does this guy do this thing for this amount of money when he's already got so much money?
Adam Ray
You're addicted to making it if you have that much.
Adam Carolla
Well, you've already done a thing where it's like, you're this many years old and you have $700 million. You cannot spend it in your lifetime. We're already there. Mathematically, there's no reason to get out of bed.
Adam Ray
That's why I'm like, never again. Yeah, what are you doing?
Adam Carolla
Right? Because it's the notion of getting 3 million bucks for an afternoon's work.
Adam Ray
It's the same way that, like, some of these athletes, I guess, ask for a ridiculous amount of money. But it's like, you know, when a certain wide receiver, quarterback, or baseball player gets. Makes a certain amount, another one will ask for this amount. But it's because it's like, well, I want to. Yeah, there's a little confidence boost. Yeah. Measuring. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
It's also. Also the difference. Like, you know, a new Lexus is $59,000, but they will get someone to do something and go, we'll give you a car. Lexus is going to just give you a car. Because if they say to the guy, we'll give you $59,000, the guy go, I could do that, play a theater, do a club, do an arena or whatever. I could make more than that. But if they go, you get a new car for doing half a day's work. Most guys will just do it because it was a weird. It's a weird thing. Like, I remember Once I'll get you.
Adam Ray
Into a Lincoln for 49,000.
Adam Carolla
Oh, Matthew, you will.
Adam Ray
The seats are heated.
Adam Carolla
Wild Turkey.
Adam Ray
There's. I got gushers. There's a gusher container you can open. You know the. I've never seen somebody so excited for a gusher container.
Adam Carolla
I had a guy who's like a regular dude, poor guy kind of guy work for me. And Mike's Hard Lemonade gave me and Jimmy a chop for doing some sort of spot for them a million years ago. And it was like a $19,000, $15,000, $18,000 chopper. This guy could wrap his mind around me getting paid 50 grand an episode to do a TV show and do this and do that and do everything else. But the chopper I got for free, he never got his mind around because he was a dude. They gave me that.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
For an afternoon. For one day. Yeah, one day. One day's work. You get a chopper. Yeah. Normally you get 40 grand. You buy two choppers for one day's work. But it's the symbolism of the chopper that it was there that he couldn't get his mind.
Jason Mayhem Miller
It's beautiful in a way.
Adam Carolla
It couldn't. It's innocent, it's earnest. It's old school. It's a little retarded, but it's very earnest. Like, he just couldn't get around that. The dollars he could figure out or he didn't impress him. And that was kind of. Kind of. It's like, you'll know when you have kids, you go out and you do a bunch of shows and you get tens of thousands of dollars. You come home and you. You come back and you get, you know, I made 50 grand last weekend. Your kids will go like, all right, so what, you come home with, like, 800 bucks cash and just throw it down on the bed and they look at it, they go lose their minds. Well, yeah, they lose their minds. Right? Because it's. That It's. It's tacked out. All right, one more. You got one more?
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah, I got one more. Actually, one in four sunscreens on store.
Adam Carolla
Shelves are safe and effective, so 75% don't work.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah. A fourth of sunscreens on. I'm sorry, a fourth. Store shelves in the United States deliver safe and effective protection against the harmful rays of the sun.
Adam Carolla
There is going to be two syndromes that physicians in the future are going to have to look out for for. It's something called white lung. That's too many moms spraying sunscreen all over the face of their nine year olds and just inhaling all this fucking SP50, you know they're going to have a white lung syndrome. They're sucking it all up, all the face. And there's going to be another syndrome called floating liver syndrome. Waiting in line at TSA when they want your bottle that costs $7 of water. You're like that. You're just chugging two liters of water in the next four feet. I gotta. This all go to my head because I spent $7 for this water, not fucking chucking it. I've chugged. You can't, so you can't throw it away, right?
Adam Ray
Floating liver syndrome. Great band name, Floating liver syndrome, White lung.
Adam Carolla
There's gonna be a lot of frequent flyer kids that have both. Like they're going to Hawaii getting white lung because they're getting the sunscreen sprayed all the place. Over, over. I'm chugging water at the airport.
Adam Ray
When I was playing a New York cop at Universal Studios is the last job I did before I got fired. And there were the, these team.
Adam Carolla
Oh, this wasn't Wolverine.
Adam Ray
No, Wolverine. Yeah. I didn't, I did hang in my claws. I was doing it simultaneously. I was hosting the Fear Factor live show, playing Wolverine and playing a 1940s New York cop, and hosting and hosting, hosting the Fear Factor Live. And, and you know, when I was the New York cop, it was like I wasn't from anything. There was a little chunk of the park that was like York Street. And my boss would always give me a hard time because like at one point there was a multi colored squirt gun that I pulled up and was shooting Asian tourists with. And, and she was like, this isn't from 1940s New York. I go, jenna, with all due respect, a train just drove by with SpongeBob, Curious George and, and Dora the Explorer and blasting the song Ooey ooh ah ching chang walla walla bing bang. I'm not a history buff, but I'm pretty sure that was played during World War II. And so at one point these teen tour groups would come through. Teen tours, a thing where, you know, rich parents pay about, I think 40 grand to have their kids for three weeks. Go Vegas, San Francisco, Louisiana, San Diego. And they go on buses and they go, they go to Universal, they go to Disneyland, they go to Vegas and they're always. There'd be shows at the Hollywood Improv that we've done for these 14, 15 year olds and usually it'd be all these young kids and you'd find the youngest kid and you'd be like, you probably got the biggest dick. And you. It's all crowd work because they can't relate to anything you talk about. I brought this kid up one time, he was rapped in front of all the things. I was like, you're probably gonna fuck one of the counselors. They all went nuts. So at Universal Studios, I'm this New York cop and the teen tour group comes through and I was like, oh, what are you guys doing? You got the teen tour, you guys young kids, you having a good time? And one of the girls is covered in sunscreen and I'm this New York cop and I go, I go, you got a little. You Mrs. Pie, you're covered in sunscreen. And she goes, it's not sunscreen.
Adam Carolla
I go, oh, what is it?
Adam Ray
I'm like trying to do a bit with like these 15 kids. And she goes, it's come what? And I go, okay, that's my cue.
Adam Carolla
I'm gonna go talk to captain in America.
Adam Ray
What the. Dude. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, dude. So anyway, you said sunscreen. I thought of that story. But it just. I mean, dude, hug your kids and try your best because you're. No, no kid is going to be immune from a sunscreen come joke. I mean, the fact also that like they were that age and I was like, that's where your brain's going right now.
Adam Carolla
But it's gone full bukhaki at 15.
Adam Ray
Yeah. Wow. But also, you know, they're on this. It's summer camp on a bus and you're going Vegas, San Diego, San Fran, la. I mean it's, it's almost too much. And the counselors were like all doing their own thing. They were getting fucked up anyway. TeamTour.com for tickets.
Adam Carolla
I like the word bukhaki because it sounds like what it is.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You know, there's certain words that don't sound like. Like there's certain words. Would you rather eat casualty of war? Doesn't sound like you died. It sounds like something casual or whatever.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Garnish.
Adam Carolla
Garnish your wages. But hockey, for a made up word, it's almost sounds like what it is.
Adam Ray
If you didn't know what a bukake was, and I pronounce it bukake if and you had the chance and somebody said, hey, do you want to go to a bukake, a bukake tonight? And you didn't know what it was, would you think it was a. A gang bang where someone's getting cookied on? I don't think that's a real term. I just made that up. This is good liquor. Or do you think it's a Beni Hana type establishment?
Adam Carolla
Yes.
Adam Ray
Right. Or do you think it's a band you're going to see?
Adam Carolla
I would, I would roll the dice. I would say sign me up.
Adam Ray
You're a fun guy.
Adam Carolla
Buk.
Adam Ray
Would you be bummed if you came and you sat down and there was, let's say even it was a. It was a gang bang. But they had the Benihana type place settings. So you sat down. They have a chef, but that's a decoy.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Adam Ray
Or maybe the chef is how the party gets started.
Jason Mayhem Miller
Wait. We all jizz on the stove? I. I don't get it.
Ja Rule
Dude.
Adam Ray
Stay with us, dude.
Adam Carolla
Sorry, guys. You know, sometimes you think of sentences that may have never been uttered in human history. We all jizz on the stove may have never been strung together because brand new sentence. Well, stoves have only been around for 500 years. And then the vernacular jizz has only been around for 20 years. So combining the jizz and we all.
Adam Ray
Yeah, it doesn't add up.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's not like ye olde gents who all jizzed on a stove. It's the not old. It's not old time talk. It's new. That's modern. That may be yours.
Adam Ray
That's yours.
Adam Carolla
We'll have to check the urban dentary after the show. All right, let me give plugs to Adam Ray. You go to Adam Ray comedy dot com. Always funny. The. The Dr. Phil stuff. Just a. Just a joy.
Adam Ray
Eight more shows left.
Adam Carolla
Eight more. Eight more. And then the new characters coming out.
Adam Ray
Yeah. Who knows, man?
Adam Carolla
Also, Joe Rule. Where's the party at? That tour is going to start July 23rd. And then of course, Amber and Opal spirits as well. I recommend it highly. Me, I'll be in Bellflower doing Stand up this Saturday. Two shows. First show sold out, but the second show's got some tickets left at the Stand Up Comedy club. And then Tacoma and Spokane all over the place. Go to AdamCorol.com for all the live shows. Until next time, Adam Kroll, Van Ray and Ja Rule and Mayhem saying Mahala.
Adam Ray
Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail. The phone number is 888-634-1744. And then get tickets to see Adam Carolla at AdamCorola.com. stream all the movies and shows you love for free on Pluto tv.
Ja Rule
Say what now?
Adam Ray
Showtime. That means drama. Drama is free. With heart wrenching stories from love and basketball power and green leaf in this family we live by the spirit and laughter is free with gut busting comedies like Key and Peele the Neighborhood Everybody Hates Chris and Boomerang Watch all the hits all for free from all your favorite devices oh, my God, I love it.
Adam Carolla
Feel the free Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Podcast Summary: The Adam Carolla Show
Episode Title: Trump wants to sue Beyonce + Ja Rule + Comedian Adam Ray
Release Date: May 21, 2025
In this episode of The Adam Carolla Show, host Adam Carolla welcomes guests Ja Rule and comedian Adam Ray for a lively discussion filled with humor, personal anecdotes, and candid conversations. The episode delves into various topics ranging from the challenges of live performances to the intricacies of celebrity endorsements, culminating in insights about the infamous Fyre Festival incident.
Adam Ray shares his experiences touring across the United States, performing at renowned venues like the Stand Up Comedy Club in Bellflower and the Tacoma Comedy Club in Washington. He discusses the demands of managing extended live shows, often lasting over two hours, and the creative processes behind them.
Hard Work and Creativity:
[04:15] Adam Carolla: "And now big beautiful Bill was also his gay porn name."
[04:16] Adam Ray: "It is."
Touring Challenges:
[05:03] Adam Ray: "I get to the meet and greet and, and my wife's like, Matthew McConaughey was here. I was like, get the fuck out of here."
Adam Ray emphasizes the importance of adaptability and preparation during tours, highlighting memorable interactions with celebrities and the balance between maintaining comedic integrity and entertaining diverse audiences.
Ja Rule joins the show to discuss his new premium whiskey brand, Amber and Opal Spirits. He elaborates on the inspiration behind the brand, aiming to create an inclusive product that appeals to both whiskey enthusiasts and newcomers.
Brand Philosophy:
[64:12] Ja Rule: "So the Amber is obviously the hue, the color of the liquor, but the Opal is, you know, it's basically our brand messaging. This is the color and this is the liquor that is inclusive of all."
Marketing Strategies:
[65:13] Ja Rule: "I'm a sponge, man. So I took that and learned from that, too."
Ja Rule discusses the challenges and strategies of launching a new whiskey brand in a competitive market, drawing parallels between his experiences in the music industry and entrepreneurship.
The episode takes a critical turn as Adam Carolla introduces the controversial topic of Trump's allegations regarding celebrity endorsements in Kamala Harris's 2024 campaign. This leads to a discussion about the effectiveness and ethics of celebrity endorsements in political campaigns.
Satirical Commentary on Endorsements:
[120:34] Adam Carolla: "Like the Mexican Navy. And we've moved on. We've turned the page."
Ja Rule's Perspective on Fyre Festival:
[98:48] Ja Rule: "My side is simple, man. I too am a victim. I too was bamboozled, hoodwinked, led astray."
Ja Rule addresses his involvement with the Fyre Festival, expressing his disillusionment with the project's collapse and distancing himself from the fraudulent activities that ensued. The conversation underscores the pitfalls of ambitious projects driven by greed and poor management.
Jason Mayhem Miller delivers a gripping news segment about a recent jailbreak at the Orleans Parish Justice Center, where an employee assisted in the escape of ten violent inmates by compromising cell facilities.
News Highlight:
[109:56] Jason Mayhem Miller: "And Jason Mayhem Miller: We have two cavapoos, Pickles and Bagel."
Discussion on Prison Security:
[110:04] Adam Carolla: "I miss tunneling out of prison."
The segment provides an in-depth look at the vulnerabilities within the prison system, emphasizing the need for enhanced security measures to prevent such incidents in the future.
Throughout the episode, Adam Carolla and his guests engage in humorous exchanges, sharing personal stories and playful banter that entertain the audience while offering glimpses into their lives.
Childhood Anecdotes:
[72:08] Ja Rule: "I'm Ja Rule, you know what I'm saying? They would love to lock Ja Rule up for the shit, but the reality of it was is he was doing things to fraud the investors to get the money to actually do the shit."
Comedic Hypotheticals:
[77:31] Adam Carolla: "They never even sit in the back. It's like multiple McConaugheys."
These lighter moments provide a balance to the episode's more serious topics, showcasing the camaraderie and sharp wit that fans have come to love about The Adam Carolla Show.
As the episode wraps up, Adam Carolla reiterates information about upcoming live shows and encourages listeners to engage with his and Adam Ray's comedy tours. The episode concludes with final humorous exchanges and a brief mention of the next segment, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating future episodes.
Notable Quotes:
Adam Ray on Live Shows:
"It's the Sabrina Carpenter of comedy."
[04:38]
Ja Rule on Brand Inclusivity:
"Amber is obviously the hue, the color of the liquor, but the Opal is... inclusive of all."
[64:12]
Adam Carolla on Celebrity Endorsements:
"Nobody gives a shit about the celebrity endorsements anymore."
[120:30]
Ja Rule on Fyre Festival:
"I too was bamboozled, hoodwinked, led astray."
[98:48]
This episode of The Adam Carolla Show masterfully blends comedy with insightful discussions, offering listeners a blend of laughter and thoughtful commentary on current events and personal experiences.