Episode Overview

Episode: EP. 317: ADHD, Addiction, and Advocacy: Jennifer’s Inspiring Story
Podcast: ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka
Release Date: January 29, 2025
Guest: Jennifer Nicole Schmitz

This episode focuses on the intersection of ADHD, addiction, generational trauma, and recovery, as seen through the personal lens of guest Jennifer Nicole Schmitz. Tracy and Jennifer explore how undiagnosed ADHD can contribute to addiction, the nuanced experience of women with ADHD, and the importance of self-compassion, advocacy, and community. Jennifer tells her raw and uplifting story, aiming to inspire and guide others facing similar struggles.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. ADHD Diagnosis and Early Signs

• Jennifer’s Journey to Diagnosis (04:05–05:34)
  • Always struggled with attention and self-regulation ("what's wrong with me?")
  • Family history: Sister diagnosed with ADHD; early hyperactivity and fidgeting ("bit my fingernails to bloody nubs")
  • Podcast and self-education led to her own self-recognition and diagnosis as an adult

“The same thing came out of my mouth that has come out of my mouth all my life is, what's wrong with me?”
—Jennifer (04:33)

2. Childhood Adversity & Family Trauma

• Impact of Mother’s Car Accident (06:26–09:17)
  • At eight, Jennifer’s mother suffered traumatic brain injury, resulting in sudden responsibility and pressure on Jennifer
  • Began people-pleasing, overachieving in school as a coping mechanism
  • Early exposure to substance use as a normal part of family culture

3. Substance Use and Escapism

• Started using alcohol at 12, escalating to other substances (07:47 onward)
• Drugs/alcohol used to manage overwhelm, boredom, and emotional pain (07:59–08:28)
• Environment reinforced substance use for both celebration and coping with negative emotions

“If there was something to celebrate, you use substances. If there was something to mourn, you use substances. If you’re bored ... that was a huge one for me.”
—Jennifer (07:59)

4. Generational Trauma and Misdiagnosis

• Mother misdiagnosed as "low IQ" and was likely undiagnosed ADHD; learned helplessness as a family legacy (09:34–11:30)
• Internalized negative messaging and self-limiting beliefs
• Jennifer’s own diagnoses of depression and bipolar disorder—a common pattern of ADHD symptoms mistaken as other mental health conditions (37:10–37:40)

“Women are often misdiagnosed as low IQ ... My mom was on disability and all kinds of stuff, and she had this meager income from that, and she was able to budget it. ... I just don’t believe it.”
—Jennifer (10:24)

5. Marriage, Addiction, and Hitting Rock Bottom

• Married at 15 to escape home environment and access drugs (14:49–16:11)
• Multiple episodes of substance abuse, legal trouble, near-fatal car accident, and continued spiral until hospitalization and recovery (17:35–20:20)

“The only thing I understood is that guy had methamphetamines, and I wanted methamphetamines. Just to be perfectly blunt and honest about it.”
—Jennifer (15:01)

6. Recovery and Self-Awareness

• Recovery required both physical and psychological support (25:47–26:53)
• Importance of joining recovery and coaching communities; practical strategies for managing thoughts and emotions
• Learning to manage nervous system regulation through externalizing thoughts (talking to someone, brain dumps) and physical activity

“I’m allowed to feel stuff, you know.”
—Jennifer (26:46)

“Talking out loud to somebody else that I trust ... even if I think it sounds crazy.”
—Jennifer (27:21)

7. Reframing Negative Thoughts

• Moving from shame-based internal dialogue (“what's wrong with me?”) to self-compassion (“there’s nothing wrong here”)
• Recognizing and challenging internalized narratives, especially about perfectionism and social expectations (30:16–31:52)

“My big one: ‘Of course I’m having anxiety.’ ... It’s because I haven’t eaten in seven hours or I chugged too much coffee.”
—Jennifer (30:16)

8. ADHD Traits and Personal Strengths

• Jennifer’s “squirrel brain” metaphor for mental energy and distractibility (33:54–34:48)
• Successes in school linked to interest and engagement; struggles with boredom and memory, common in ADHD (35:02–36:24)
• History as a challenge unless personally meaningful or stimulating

9. Stigma, Shame, and Rejection Sensitivity

• Deep shame delays seeking help and perpetuates substance abuse (23:19–24:07)
• Experience with "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria"—misdiagnosed as depression and bipolar (37:10–37:40)
• Example of workplace dismissal and its lasting impact on self-worth (39:28–39:44)

“That’s the kind of stuff that makes ... me make myself smaller and smaller.”
—Jennifer (39:44)

10. Advocacy and Future Plans

• Emphasis on self-efficacy rather than just self-esteem as the turning point in recovery (41:51–43:29)
• Plans to work as a coach and, ultimately, in psychology or psychiatry—focused on helping others see their value and learn coping strategies tailored for ADHD (45:09–46:28)

“Nothing changed for me ... until I started breaking down the messaging ... and actually developed some real self-efficacy.”
—Jennifer (41:51)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Marriage at 15 due to addiction: “The only thing I understood is that guy had methamphetamines, and I wanted methamphetamines. Just to be perfectly blunt and honest about it.” (15:01)
• Squirrel brain metaphor: “Sometimes it’ll be a few ... delicately hopping ... sometimes it’s like a free-for-all and they’re just scrambling everywhere.” (33:54)
• On self-compassion: “There’s nothing wrong here ... Of course I’m feeling this way. ... Sometimes if I say ‘Of course I’m feeling this way,’ then it’s like my brain goes into figuring out, well, why?” (30:16)
• On the shame cycle: “Then I’m like, what’s wrong with me? How did I let it get to this point? ... Then there’s shame in that.” (23:30)
• Message to women with ADHD and addiction: “Work on your self-efficacy … not just thinking I’m a good person, but knowing that I’m capable of handling difficult situations, of handling big emotions …” (41:51)

Practical Strategies & Takeaways

• Managing Emotional Overwhelm:
  • Talk openly with trusted others or do “brain dumps” to get thoughts out of the head (27:21)
  • Use physical movement to manage nervous system activation (brisk walk, dance, jumping jacks) (27:21–29:00)
  • Adjust ADHD "tools" and systems regularly when they get stale (color-coding approaches with calendars, etc.) (46:34–47:31)
• Reframing Internal Narratives:
  • Challenge negative self-talk: replace “What’s wrong with me?” with “There’s nothing wrong here” or “Of course I’m feeling this way” (30:16–30:49)
  • Prioritize self-efficacy and personal meaning over societal or inherited expectations (43:29–44:22)
• Community & Support:
  • The importance of finding connection in recovery or coaching communities (25:47–26:53)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Topic/Insight | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------------------|------------------| | Jennifer’s ADHD signs and diagnosis | 04:05–05:34 | | Childhood trauma, mother’s TBI | 06:26–09:17 | | Early substance use, coping mechanisms | 07:47–08:28 | | Generational trauma, IQ misdiagnosis | 09:34–11:30 | | Marriage at 15 & substance abuse | 14:49–17:11 | | Spiral, legal trouble, recovery onset | 17:35–20:20 | | Turning point and recovery strategies | 25:47–26:53 | | Coping tools—expressing and moving feelings | 27:21–29:00 | | Reframing negative thoughts | 30:16–31:52 | | Squirrel brain, working memory issues | 33:54–35:28 | | Misdiagnosis and rejection sensitivity | 37:10–39:44 | | Advocacy & advice for women with ADHD/addiction | 41:51–44:22 | | Future plans: coaching & psychology | 45:09–46:28 |

Resources & How to Connect

• Find Jennifer on Facebook: facebook.com/jennifer.in.schmitz (47:38)
• Jennifer welcomes messages or connections—especially from listeners seeking support or understanding (48:01)

Closing Note

Jennifer’s story is a testament to resilience, self-advocacy, and the power of reframing the ADHD narrative. Her hope, as echoed by Tracy, is that by sharing her journey, fewer women will have to struggle in silence and more will recognize both the vulnerabilities and the gifts of the ADHD brain.

“You are just going to be such a good coach. ... Because you have had these experiences firsthand.”
—Tracy Otsuka (21:01)