EP. 353: Why Career Clarity Is Non-Negotiable for ADHD Brains with Shell Mendelson

Summary

Podcast Summary:

ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka
Episode 353: Why Career Clarity Is Non-Negotiable for ADHD Brains with Shell Mendelson
Date: October 8, 2025
Host: Tracy Otsuka
Guest: Shell Mendelson, Career Coach & Author

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Overview

This episode explores the critical importance of career clarity for ADHD and neurodivergent adults. Tracy Otsuka welcomes back career coach and author Shell Mendelson to discuss why quick career fixes don't work for ADHD brains, what true alignment in work looks like, how to navigate current workplace trends (including surveillance and the rollback of DEI), and Shell's own experience making bold life changes—including moving to Mexico. The episode balances practical strategies with inspiring personal stories and actionable advice for ADHD professionals seeking more fulfillment in their work.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Shell Mendelson’s ADHD Discovery & Career Journey

• Serendipitous Diagnosis: Shell was diagnosed late in her 50s while feeling deeply unfulfilled as CEO of Kids Art.
  • “I was becoming very dissatisfied in my day to day, which is true for people when they start kind of going off the path… We have to love what we do.” (05:22)
• Ignoring the Signs: She initially ignored an unsolicited ADHD book from a friend, only to turn to it when hitting career rock-bottom.
  • “I put it in the drawer and I forgot about it until the moment when I was at my lowest point… I literally went crawling to the bookshelf, picked the book off, and started reading... and started crying.” (06:55)
• Lesson Learned: Emphasizes the need to recognize misery at work as a sign to reassess fit; “the way you feel is important and to notice how you feel and when you’re starting to feel miserable...that’s when it’s time to take a look at, is this the right fit?” (08:58)

Why Quick Fixes Don’t Work for ADHD Careers

• Assessments Fall Short: Standard career assessments don’t ask the right questions for neurodivergent individuals.
  • “They don’t ask the right questions… the overall perspective that they give in the assessment is not representative of who you are authentically.” (14:15)
• Turning off the Noise: Advocates for a “career bubble” where outside opinions, even from spouses, are put on pause to focus on authentic self-reflection.
  • “This is a time to be 100% self-centered, selfish. It’s all about you…” (16:13)

The Role of Mission, Purpose, and Fulfillment

• ADHD brains need a sense of mission and authentic purpose.
  • “For ADHDers, purpose is everything… as they’re going through any kind of process, that purpose is going to come into play.” (17:16)
• She draws distinction between “mission” (projects with a beginning/middle/end) and “purpose” (core driver), sharing her own current mission to advocate around DEI issues. (18:25)

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Spotting Misalignment in Work for ADHD Brains

• Early Warning Signs: Job hopping, loss of confidence, feeling disconnected, persistent distractions, unsupportive supervisors, or work losing its joy.
  • “The work you’re doing isn’t satisfying anymore… it just needs to be a bigger portion of the day, something that you look forward to.” (20:28)
• Impact on Others: Observes that people who are unhappy at work communicate it to those they serve, sometimes unconsciously.
  • “When another person in their job is impacting the people they’re supposed to be serving, it’s not a good thing.” (23:04)

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The No-Shortcuts, Deep-Dive Career Approach

• Lasting Clarity Requires Work: There are no shortcuts; true clarity about work only comes from a meaningful, reflective process.
  • “There’s no easy way. There’s no simple fix...you’ve got to go through the process of really figuring out who you are, what makes you feel the best.” (24:15)
• Imposter Syndrome on the Right Path: Feeling like an imposter often appears just as people finally align with their true interests.
  • “The imposter syndrome happens… for people when they’re first starting off on the right path, believe it or not.” (26:16)

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The New Reality: DEI, Workplace Surveillance, and Self-Advocacy

Federal DEI Rollbacks & Impact on Neurodivergent Employees

• Increased Fear & Hiding: The loss of DEI initiatives leads to less openness and more fear among neurodivergent employees about requesting accommodations.
  • “People are afraid to speak up… without clarity about that, you can’t have the conversation.” (29:52)
• Right Fit Reduces Need for Accommodation: When in the wrong job, neurodivergent employees often need accommodations. Proper fit largely eliminates this need.
  • “People who need accommodation, I maintain, are people who are in the wrong fit.” (30:06)

Advocacy and Conditions for Success

• Importance of knowing not just what work is right, but also what workplace conditions (culture, environment) are required.
  • “The conditions piece is so important… really understanding what you can actually ask for in an interview.” (34:54)
• Self-advocacy in interviews: Be ready to ask about office layout, remote flexibility, lighting, autonomy, etc.
  • “It may be shocking to an employer to hear somebody ask these questions… but they want more people to know what they want.” (37:19)

The Workplace Surveillance Issue

• Surveillance Erodes Trust: Reports of intense monitoring in many industries deeply impact ADHDers’ well-being and performance.
  • “Employers are tapping in on their computers… Why would they want to actually make it more difficult and challenging for people to get their work done or feel confident?” (44:19)
• Flexibility Is Critical: ADHDers thrive with flexibility and autonomy; micromanagement is particularly harmful.

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Current Workplace Shifts & Navigating AI

• On Remote Work & Connection: Full-time remote work can lead to social isolation, especially for young people, but hybrid approaches may offer the best balance.
  • “Even if you’re working from home, make a date with your co-workers… that is how people meet each other, that is how they create their social networks.” (46:50)
• AI as Friend & Foe: AI can support ADHDers by helping organize thoughts and research, but it’s important to remain relevant and unique as AI automates more roles.
  • “AI can help organize my thoughts… [but] you have to stay unique—it’s going to be really important to have a side thing that’s uniquely you.” (51:31, 53:32)

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Shell’s Big Move: Living in Mexico

• Why Mexico? Drawn by beauty, cultural warmth, and lower cost of living.
  • “I always wanted to live on the beach… it’s paradise.” (58:56)
• The Process: Inspired by a client living in Puerto Vallarta and other Americans who’d made the move; Shell describes her quick pivot to relocate.
• On Community: Warmth, spontaneity, and social connection are stronger than in her former US home:
  • “I met more people here in three weeks than I did in seven years in San Antonio.” (72:22)
• Regrets? None. Even after early challenges (COVID, learning Spanish), she feels deeply at home and safe (“I feel safer here than I’ve ever felt”). (68:24)
• Healthcare & Cost: Finds Mexican healthcare highly accessible and affordable (“the whole thing cost me about $15”). (68:19)

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Practical Tips & Lightning Round (73:20)

• Favorite ADHD Hack:
  • “Having a little bit of a routine, but not scheduling everything. I need wide bursts, a lot of time in between things.” (73:40)
• Last Thing She Lost:
  • “A cup that I really loved coming here… cups, they’re very important.” (74:12)
• One System She’ll Never Give Up:
  • “The one that I use with people. The Career Galaxy.” (75:05)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

“If we’re not fulfilled, it will never be sustainable.” – Shell (27:10)
“This is a time to be 100% self centered, selfish. It’s all about you.” – Shell (16:13)
“When you know what the conditions are that work best for you... you can say all these wonderful things about yourself because you know it’s true.” – Shell (37:19)
“Flexibility is a huge condition that people need with ADHD. It’s a big one.” – Shell (44:56)
“AI… gives us the benefits, right, of organizing and getting all the facts together, then we use our creativity and make it unique, which is what AI can’t do.” – Tracy (53:32)

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Resources & Where to Find Shell Mendelson

• Book: Unlock Your Career Path –
  • Downloadable/updated eBook: UnlockYourCareerPath.com
  • Spiral bound: Search “Shel Mendelsohn” on Amazon
• Masterclass: CareerCoachingwithShell.com
• Connect: All links in show notes

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Final Thoughts & Takeaways

• Quick career solutions rarely work for ADHDers; deep self-reflection, purpose, and clarity are critical.
• Don’t be afraid to prioritize your own needs and self-advocate—both in career exploration and in shaping your work environment.
• The world of work is shifting—surveillance and automation are on the rise, but so is the power of unique strengths, flexibility, and authentic connection.
• Sometimes, bold life changes (even a move to another country!) can yield surprising, positive outcomes—when grounded in self-awareness and aligned with one’s values.

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For more actionable strategies on loving your ADHD brain and finding your unique path, visit adhdforsmartwomen.com or check out Tracy’s patented systems for ADHD women.

Transcript

[A]

Richard Branson, Michael Phelps, Justin Timberlake, James Carville. Wait a minute. Where are the women? Greta Gerwig, Lisa Ling, Audra McDonald, Simone Biles. That sounds like a list of highly successful titans in a variety of industries. They all have adhd, but you don't have to hear much about that, now, do you? You know what else you don't hear about are the 43% of people with ADHD who are in excellent mental health. Why aren't we talking about them and what they're doing right? I'm your host, Tracy Adsuka, and that's exactly what we do here. I'm a lawyer, not a doctor, a lifelong student, and now the author of my new book, ADHD for Smartass Women. I'm also a certified ADHD coach and the creator of youf ADHD Brain is okay. A patented system that helps ADHD women just like you get unstuck and fall in love with their brilliant brains. Here we embrace our too muchness, and we focus on our strengths. My guests and I credit our ADHD for some of our greatest gifts. And to those who still think they're too much, too impulsive, too scattered, too disorganized, I say no one ever made a difference by being too little. This podcast has no sponsors, just free content for ADHD brains like yours. But if you want more, here's how. If your ADHD brain feels like an enemy right now, that's because no one ever taught you how to work with it. But that changes today. Join my you ADHD Brain is a OK Academy. And start making ADHD your advantage. For more information, find the link in the first line of this episode's description. Now let's get on with the show. Hello, I am your host, Tracy Outsuka. Thank you so much for joining me here for another episode of ADHD for Smartass Women. You know, my purpose is always to show you who you are and then inspire you to be it. In the thousands of ADHD women that I've had the privilege of meeting, I have never met one that wasn't truly brilliant at something. Not one. And so, of course, I am just delighted to introduce you to Shel Mendelsohn. For more than 35 years, Shell has been guiding adults and young adults with ADHD toward work that feels meaningful and sustainable. She's the author of Unlock youk Career Path, a book that's been praised for making career choices accessible and ADHD friendly. And she also built Kids Art, an international children's art franchise that continues to thrive today. What makes Shel Especially compelling is her perspective. She was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, so she understands firsthand how overwhelming career decisions can feel to us and how life changing it is to finally find clarity. That lived experience, combined with her background as both a coach and entrepreneur has helped her support hundreds of people in turning years of uncertainty into direction and confidence. Now Shel lives on the beach in Mexico with her two dogs where she's designing new ways to inspire her community or while continuing her lifelong mission of showing people that there is always a path forward. Welcome, Shel. Did I get all of that right?

[B]

Beautifully. Thank you so much. What a wonderful introduction and it's such a pleasure to be here.

[A]

Well, I love having you here again. We were just talking about how long ago was it? And I think it was at least four years. So I am hoping that you would just give us a little snapshot into your ADHD diagnoses because we always talk about that first. It just allows our listeners to connect with our guests. So can you tell us what happened?

[B]

It was very serendipitous because I. It was diagnosed very late in life, very late in my 50s. And it came about because I was doing kids. It was when I was CEO of Kids Art and I had gotten to the point with that company after several years where I realized I was not doing the work I loved anymore. I wasn't even following my own advice that I had been giving people many for many years before I started, you know, developing that company. And I was becoming very dissatisfied in my day to day, which is true for people when they start kind of going off the path and can be very disastrous for people with adhd, neurodivergent people in general. Right. We have to love what we do. My purpose has always been to empower, to educate, to inspire and uplift others basically to find and love the work that they do. And the way that they do it is by being authentic and being self reflective and being very honest with themselves. And that's always been my purpose. I was doing none of that. And I was becoming, it was becoming a day to day disaster for me. Right. So I was going downhill. I was also, I was undiagnosed back then. And so I was working with all neurotypical people and I always felt off as, you know, why do I feel like an outcast? Why am I having so many problems? And it was because I was clearly in the wrong fit at this point in my life. I was not doing the work that I was supposed to be doing. So that's when I got. I realized something was wrong. And years before that, I probably told the story many years ago, but years before that, I had a therapist friend who sent me a book on adhd. And I remember looking at that book and smiling like, why is this being sent to me? This is for kids. It was when I had. I had no idea that adults even had adhd.

[A]

So it was unsolicited.

[B]

It was unsolicited. She just sent it to me. And that's because she has a son who has adhd. And I put it in the drawer and I forgot about it until the moment when I was at my lowest point with kids. Art and I literally went crawling to the bookshelf, picked the book off, and started reading it. I don't know why. It was one of those serendipitous things. You could call it spiritual, you know, some kind of. Somebody said, okay, this is what you've got to look at. Divine intervention. And I literally went cross. I didn't even know where it was on the bookshelf, but I put my hand right on it, opened it up, and started crying. Like, I cannot believe that this exists and that I had the usual epiphany that many of us have when we finally recognize who we are and that we are not alone, but yet we go through, like, almost a grieving process. Because for so many years, I had no clue, but I knew something was off. We all do. We all know that something's off until we get our diagnosis. And so once I got it, it was like, you know, a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could start. I said, I'm going to, you know, leave this company. I found a way to do it. It wasn't pretty. It was terrible, as a matter of fact. And I had to go through a whole process. I probably told that story years ago. But the bottom line is, is that I learned a big lesson that I was able and am currently able to pass on to the people I work with now about how important it is to understand that what you feel in your day to day, your action, the way that you feel, is important and to notice how you feel and when you're starting to feel miserable and when things start going south in your work, it's time to take a look at, is this the right fit? For me, that was basically how I came to that. I learned two lessons. One that I can pass along today, and one that I got my diagnosis. And then I decided to work pretty exclusively with neurodivergent clients. At that point, I Just said to myself, this, we need the help. We need this to be very much a fit for us.

[A]

And so what were your symptoms? What were the things that you really struggled with that got you to that rock bottom place?

[B]

I wasn't getting along with the people anymore. I was being called on the carpet. I was like the founder of the company. I was constantly being called on the carpet by my business partners who were very neurotypical and also were people that I no longer enjoyed working with.

[A]

Did you like the work? It was the environment.

[B]

Well, the environment was fine because I was working from home for the most part. We were all over the country. We work basically a remote operating company. We were based in the town that I was living in in Texas and we had an office there. But I generally work from home for the most part. It was a people, I would say, and it was that I was no longer doing the actual tasks that I enjoyed doing. I wasn't using the skills I enjoyed using anymore. I used to be able to be creative. My creativity wasn't being put into play. All of the things that were important to me were no longer occurring in my role. Because once you get settled and it just becomes a day to day, the startup part of it was great. That was where everything happens. You know that, right? Yeah. That's where the fun, the joy comes from, is in that creative process of getting a startup going. But then when you settle into the day to day, if you're not doing the actual work that you enjoy at that point, then that's when many people today will have a plan B. I didn't have a plan B. I didn't even know I was supposed to have a plan B. I didn't know what a plan B would even look like. So I was just, I felt stuck. I felt like it was an albatross around my neck. It was everything. It was pretty horrible for me at the time. It was pretty horrible. And I really hit a very low point after that for a while before I started working again with doing the career work that I love doing and always had loved doing that I put to the side for so many years. And when I started doing that again, it was like the sea parted, you know, everything started happening and I was, I was in control again with my life, with what I wanted to do. And I then I was, you know, obviously the big epiphany of I'm not doing the work I love anymore. No wonder I'm miserable.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. But that's the thing with entrepreneurship, right? We are great Starters, we're okay middlers, but we positively suck at the follow through.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Once it's all set up, this is boring.

[B]

Yeah. And then you work with also the people you work with, if they're not the kind of people that you can collaborate with effectively and communicate with effectively, then it becomes a real. Even more of an albatross. Right. Because we're creative, we have creative ideas. It's a company like, well, let's maybe. And I knew I could see because we also have this kind of psychic thing going on that we could see, have this 360 degree perspective, the big picture perspective that our brains have. And so I knew that if we didn't make certain changes or do certain things, the company was going to fall apart. As I tried to explain that I was getting no buy in.

[A]

You were probably annoying to them who wanted to keep going the exact same way, right?

[B]

Yeah, I was annoying. I was an annoyance. And I knew, you know, I was. We were working internationally. We had international partners that loved working with me. I love working with them. And they only wanted to work with me. And we had a chance to expand in China. China was our first international franchise in Shanghai. And they came to me and said, can you reduce. We want to build across China. Can you reduce the royalty for us? And I said, of course. And then I went back to my partners and they said, nope. That's when I left at that point is when I said, it's over.

[A]

How did the company do when you left? Are they still around?

[B]

Finally, some of our initial franchisees took over and I think they're doing fine. And they had a real success with the company. And they're from Mississippi. They did fantastic. They worked in the school systems and so they knew basically how to run the company. And I was so happy when they took over. I'm pretty sure they're doing fine. I haven't kept up with it that much because it's been kind of like traumatizing.

[A]

So you say that ADHD and neurodivergent adults, they need a deep dive process to really figure out their career path, which I completely agree with.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Why do you think that quick fixes or just pick something. Why does that approach typically fail for us?

[B]

Because when the quick fix. An example of a quick fix would be assessments. Right? Some of the assessments that people come to me saying, I've gone through all these assessments and none of them worked. And well, the reason they don't work is, number one, they don't ask the right questions in the assessments have you ever noticed that like you're going, okay, I have to pick one of the lesser of two evils here instead of yeah, asking the right question. And then they compare you to basically neurodivergent people who answered similarly to you so that the overall perspective that they give in the assessment is not representative of who you are authentically and what, what is most important to you, what your actual must haves are. Right. So this is what's so important, is for people to really understand what do I need? And the only way they can do that is go by going through a process where they can turn off the noise, turn off the noise of other people coming at them saying, you should try this, you should try that. Have you considered this? Have you considered that eye rolling, side eye, you know, all of that input. That because we're sensitive, a lot of us, we're feelings oriented and our feelings get hurt when people don't respond positively. And we're people pleasers, many of us, not all of us, but many of us are. Right. So when I work with people, we turn off the noise. I say, you aren't allowed to speak with anyone as you're going through this process that's I'm going to put you in what I call the career bubble. Remember that even your spouse is off limits for having a conversation during this process. Sometimes for some people, especially your spouse or your partner. Right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because whatever you decide to do is going to impact them and if they're not comfortable with that, that could impact your decision to do what is right for you. Right. So you really have to be completely selfish. I said this is a time to be 100% self centered, selfish. It's all about you, it's all about me. It's, you know, whatever is important to you is the only thing that matters. And that's tough for a lot of people.

[A]

Well, they've never had to do that before. Right. It's always been about, well, what does everybody else think? Which is part of the problem.

[B]

That's a big part.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I'm curious, Xiao. I also feel like in the women that I work with, we are so mission driven, we can't do a lot of what neurotypicals can do. As far as you pick a career 9 to 5, do it for 30 years, you know, and then retire off into the sunset. Do you find that as well as if we're not connected to it, if there's not intention behind it, it, we're just not going to be good at it. And if we're not good at it. We're not going to enjoy it.

[B]

Well, you know, when I started this, I told you what my purpose is. My purpose is everything. And understanding. That's one of the things we do, is we create a purpose statement that we workshop. We make sure that it really represents who you are. And I just did this last night in a class, and I'm always, like, on the verge of tears when I listen to people talk about their purposes, because it's for. In some cases, it's the first time they're able to say, okay, this is where I need to be and this is what I need to remember every day. And as they're going through any kind of process of, say, pivoting to a new. In a new direction of some kind or taking their first steps, that always the purpose is going to come into play, the overall purpose. And I always. I also talk about mission, and we have missions. I liken to mission impossible. I don't know if you remember that. You know where the team gets together and there's a little tape that says, here's. They describe the mission. Should you accept this mission, the tape will destroy and off you go. Right. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. So a mission and a purpose are different in that way. And that's something I kind of came. That is a revelation I had from being the founder of Kids Art, because I realized that Kids Art, to me was a mission. It was not my purpose. It was aligned. It's now the thing about mission is it's always got to be aligned in some way. So as I do my work, I'm identifying different missions for myself that align with my purpose. And currently mine is about kind of educating and illuminating the DEI issues that are going on now for people, or lack thereof, I should say. And the people being put on PIP programs, 50% of them that I have seen just in my practice, 50% of my clients have been put on PIP programs. Those are performance improvement programs. So we could get into that. But that's my current mission. So it has a beginning and middle and end. But I need to give voice to it because I haven't seen very many people actually speaking up about it. I think people are kind of fearful of speaking up about it. So that's my mission. I've got to find a way to communicate the importance of really understanding the dynamics and seeing if I can impact employers and people to understand in some ways who are going through them that there is a way out. And one of those is to define what you want? Absolutely.

[A]

I'm going to ask you a lot about that because that's when we first were talking about what could this conversation be around that's really relevant and timely for today. So I definitely want to go there. But before we go there, I'd love to wrap up this piece around figuring out their career path and why it's so important. So I want to know from you, what are some early signs that someone is in the wrong career environment, and I should say someone with an ADHD brain.

[B]

People come to me for all kinds of reasons, and usually it's they've been job hopping. They've been trying to figure it out for years. Some people stay in the same job, are able to stay in the same job, but during that time their confidence has been crushed or their ability to really connect to their work. And when it hits, like with kids, art, it gets exciting at first, and then it was just a mission maybe to be doing that kind of work for a while. But then when it gets to the point where it's not working anymore and at some point it just doesn't work. And it shows up in different ways. It shows up by being distracted every day. It shows up by missing deadlines, feeling disconnected with the people that you're working with, having supervisors that don't understand you, and not being able to communicate what you want or need in the workplace. And just the work you're doing isn't satisfying anymore. It's just like, not fun. And it has to have a degree of fulfillment there has. You have to feel joy in what you're doing to some extent. It doesn't have to be 20, you know, or eight or however many hours a day. It just needs to be a bigger portion of the day, something that you look forward to, something that you want to expand in and grow in. All of those things are important to feel on a daily basis. Like, for me personally, I've been doing this for 35 years. One, one real career is being a career coach and counselor. And why? Because it gives me everything I need and I can grow and move, and it's never boring. That's a big one. It's never boring. I can be very creative. I've. I work with so many different types of people with so many different interests, and just the topic of careers is fascinating. Think about all the careers that are out there, that people are doing. So I get to learn about different careers that I had never even imagined. So for me, I've been able to, you know, live that Life, and that's a life I try and be a role model for other people to live in terms of doing the work that they love. That is so important to me. It's my mission and it's my purpose. It really is. You can see people who are discontent in your day to day life when you walk into a store or when you're dealing with people on the phone who are working with you as, even as professionals, you can hear in their voice when they're not satisfied with what they're doing. And I always want to say, I'm a career coach.

[A]

I can help you.

[B]

There was a lady at a grocery store that I said, are you okay? I kept saying, are you okay? And she goes, what makes you say that? And I said, well, your attitude basically is terrible. I mean, I just told her, I said, you clearly don't like what you're doing. I don't do that very often. I mean, this is not the norm for me. But for this lady, she just was so miserable and it made me feel bad about getting my groceries and, you know, so when a other person in their job or their work is impacting the people they're supposed to be serving, it's not a good thing.

[A]

Well, and it's not good for her either, right? She's miserable.

[B]

She's miserable. And I, I probably was a little harsh, but I think part of it was that it, it impacted me and.

[A]

My experience and, and I always think of like, okay, well, you can handle it. But that interaction may be the one thing that makes a difference to whether someone, you know, decides to, I don't know, stay on this earth or not. And that's the kind of stuff that really bothers me, you know, I mean, you just don't know how negative attitude impacts other people. You never know.

[B]

Exactly. And I think people if you just. One of the things with adhd, I know for myself and my own experience is that I am not as in touch with my feelings as I really, I'm more so now. But earlier on I wasn't as in touch with my feelings. Even though I've been through therapy, I have been through everything. I was never really taught. How do you start to recognize your feelings? You hear the word and it becomes kind of cliched. Right. But the whole idea of really being connected to what you're feeling at any given moment, it's just something that we don't identify that much. And when you're going to work every day and you're not connected, you're just miserable. You know, you're not satisfied. You know things you don't want it to get to that tipping point of leaving one more job, getting fired again. Because every time that happens, it just. It's like a confidence crusher. It's a soul crusher. This is another thing I tell people. There's no easy way. There's no simple fix for this. You've got to go through the process of really collecting, really figuring out who you are, what makes you feel the best at all the different areas that are important in your work. There is no easy fix. You can't take a test for it or an assessment for it. You just have to buckle down and just say, I'm going to go through this thing. I'm really going to figure it out and tune out the noise. That's the other thing.

[A]

And it's so satisfying once you understand how your brain works and why you need to do that thing that you probably always knew you had to do, but you didn't have the confidence to just say it out loud. Right? And then it becomes so easy to then pursue it because now you understand why, like, you have to do this.

[B]

Thing and this thing exactly could be. The imposter syndrome comes up when you're so used to doing one kind of work that you really don't love, but you want to think about doing something. You always, in the back of your mind, maybe you're thinking, this would be so fun and you're watching other people doing things that are so cool, but, oh, I can't do that thing. I'll never make any money at it. I'll never bubble all the noise that comes through your head about it. I've got a family, I've got, blah, blah, blah, I have to. And a mortgage and all that stuff. But in the meantime, so what's better? Getting fired from a job that you have that meant where you make a lot of money eventually, or getting to a point where you're so destroyed that you don't even think about doing anything else? Yeah, the imposter syndrome happens, I think, for people when they're first starting off on the right path, believe it or not. Isn't that interesting?

[A]

Talk more about that.

[B]

I think there's a guilt factor, you know, because a lot of people don't, first of all, don't understand that they should be doing certain things that are important to them. They should recognize what those things are and feel good about them. And they haven't had the support to do it. So they. This is where all the Voices come in. This is where all the outside influence comes in. Like I'm supposed to be doing a steady gig where I'm bringing in so much money, I'm da da da da da. What they don't realize is that with our brain wiring again, if we're not fulfilled, it will never be sustainable. Right. So starting off on a new path can feel really awkward. It just feels awkward. It's like, how can I do this? So I'm going to give an example and he'll recognize himself when he hears this. So I'm working with a guy who, in. In one of my classes who is into. Is it hydroponics? I think for him, he's. I don't think he's ever done anything like that, but he's been making money, a little bit of money at it. And now it's like the idea of doing it full time or doing it on a larger scale is scary. Right. It's scary because he has the family and all that, but over and over and over, this is the area that's come up for him. This is like the. This is the thing that. The cream rising to the top, I call it. This is the cream that continues to rise to the top for him. And when you think about it, it's something the world needs, does it not? Especially now when you think about farmers that are not getting, you know, that are going bankrupt and we don't know what the marketplace is going to be like, we don't know what our food is going to be like and to have some control, you know, to start to teach people to grow their own in a way that's really healthy and the whole. And all of that. What an incredible thing that would be. And it's something that he is 100% joyful about. Yeah. I mean, it's so fun to watch. It's fun to watch people, when they start to light up and think, oh, I could maybe do this thing well.

[A]

And especially he's able to make a little money. So if he's able to make a little money, he's probably able to make a lot of money. Right. Because he's in an area of interest.

[B]

And he's spending his time doing something else. So he's not putting all the time in that he could be putting in.

[A]

The big question, how do recent rollbacks on federal DEI efforts affect ADHD and neurodivergent professionals?

[B]

I think it's put people back into hiding even more. People are afraid to speak up, people are afraid to ask for accommodation. People don't even know what to ask for. Again, without clarity about that, you can't have the conversation. And what I've always advocated for is not necessarily revealing your diagnosis. When you know what you want and you have, you know what the best fit is for you, you're going to do a great job at it. So there's really no need for that. People who need accommodation, I maintain, are people who are in the wrong fit. That's a big one. I mean, it's a big statement. But I believe that, that they're just. They're just in the wrong job.

[A]

I totally agree because I believe that there, I've seen it over and over again. There are certain things that you're going to do that are in your area of interest. We call it our sweet spot, where you are going to have none of the executive function challenges that you have in these other areas where you're really not interested. Right. You are going to be the best in those areas where you have that extreme interest. Is that what you're saying?

[B]

You'll be an even better employee and more. The productivity goes up, everything goes up. Anxiety is so. Every person I work with has some form of it.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Every single person. Well. And can you imagine with the end of putting people back into hiding, neurodivergent people, disabled people. I mean, it affects anyone in the disability community. Physical, mental, emotional. It impacts everyone. How many people? What percentage of people out there? I mean, now there's 5 to 10% of the population are neurodivergent, right?

[A]

Yeah, it's probably more like 20 and even.

[B]

And people that are managers are often ADHD or neurodivergent and are in the wrong position because of how they impact other people. And they're undiagnosed, Right. In the wrong position. Often, not. Not always, but often. I think the worst part of it is just not being able to talk about it, feeling like you're not being supported anymore, that there's no desire to support people. So more people end up on PIP programs, more people get fired, more people get displaced. And there's a fear of that because people are getting. I mean, look what happened in the federal government right off the bat. And of course that extends to the private industry. It's my nephew who is adhd, was working for a green company and he walked into work and 20% of the employees were fired, were let go. And eventually he knew it was going to happen to him because it's a green company and all the green energy jobs, there's no More grants anymore. Gone. Right. I mean we could go on about that, but that is, he was smart. He used his brain, he used his connections. I had gone through this process with him when he was a teenager. So he always had these skills. Right. So he quickly started pivoting to talking to people and he found a job. He's now relocated to New Hampshire from Chicago and he's starting a new position. So he's one of the lucky ones. He really is. We have really good self perception skills. We have, we're able to assess things pretty quickly. We have the bigger picture ability. So all of that played into his making the decision to take the steps that he needed to take. So he's a good example of somebody who's doing what he needed to do and it had nothing to do with his adhd. He was in the right field. He's in biotech. I think you have to really understand yourself to be able to start making those connections. Yeah.

[A]

So what I hear you saying is that, yeah, it's not a great time right now. I feel so bad for young people. Right. Who especially neurodivergent young people. But what I'm hearing you say is that if you've got that foundation that you really know who you are and what's important to you and what your workplace needs to look like in order for you to be successful, those are the people that are actually going to survive this and do better than survive. They're going to, they're going to keep moving up in whatever their area of interest is versus those people who are neurodivergent and are just kind of like, I'm just going to try any job. And then they're completely anxious because they are not doing the job well because it's not in their area of expertise or interest. And so those are the neurodivergent people because they don't know what they're supposed to be doing. They don't know what they should do with their life. They're the ones that are really going to struggle.

[B]

Absolutely. Also one of the things is knowing what you want, of course, but it extends also into the kind of conditions that you need to thrive. Okay. So the conditions piece of it is so important. And I have, you know, people go through what's called the self accommodation, really understanding how you can the things that you need and how to articulate those things that you can actually ask for in an interview while you are in the right interview to begin with because you've done enough research to know that this is who you want to interview with. And you're showing up spectacularly because you know what you want and you ask the right questions. So you're not just like what I call a job beggar, where you're going in, I need a job so bad. Just hire me, please, because I can do this work. I can tick all the boxes. No, it's beyond that. I know I want to work for you because. And under these conditions. And you would say what some of those conditions need to be. And they go beyond just physical, they go also into cultural and to diversity, into a lot of different aspects of what I call non physical conditions as well. And you can ask about those things and gauge their response. And so when I work with people, I say, you need to be able to say, thank you very much. This doesn't look like a good fit. If you see the eyes roll, if you see the hesitation to respond, if you ask this question, is the role that I am going to be hired for or will be hired for, should you choose to do so, the one that I will be doing on day one? Or are you going to have me do something else first? Because that's what happens in a lot of situations.

[A]

You're interviewing them as well as them interviewing you.

[B]

You have to be confident enough when you go in to know that I am, this is exactly what you're doing. This is a company I am interviewing them for to bring me on to do this thing that I know I will excel in under these conditions.

[A]

Okay, and so when you say under, under these conditions, give us some examples.

[B]

For example, what does the physical layout of the company look like? Will I be working in a cubicle or will I be. Will I have an office? Because I don't do well. I'm. I get distracted. You know, there are too many distractions. I need to have a certain level of privacy so I can focus on my work. And when I do, I'm going to be the best there is. You can count on me. You can say all these wonderful things about yourself because you know it's true. When you know what the conditions are that work best for you, like if there's fluorescent lighting, if there's natural lighting, you need to get a sense of what that environment looks like and what it feels like. Is there music playing? Is it open? You know, they have these open seating things. Some people thrive in that kind of environment and other people will not. So they need to just. It's. I think it's a reasonable question to ask. So you need to ask something about the physical environment that you'll be working in. And if you have an office, are there windows in the office? If that's important to you, then you need to ask these questions. And it may be shocking to an employer to hear somebody ask these questions. I've talked to employers and they go, please ask these questions. They want more people to know what they want and to be able to articulate what they want. It makes it easier for them to assess whether or not it's a good fit both ways.

[A]

The one thing that I've heard from a lot of young people, I have a, you know, a son who just entered into the workforce that seems to be really important is some ability to work remote.

[B]

Oh, absolutely. That's one of the conditions.

[A]

Yeah. And a lot of times what I notice, and maybe it's. I'm talking about him specifically now, it might be specific to his career, but they will say, okay, well, once you do a certain amount of business, then you get one day a week and then you get to another level and you get two days a week and then you'll get to that level and no one brings it up. You know, it's like, oh, well, no, no, now you need to do this. Like, they keep moving the goalpost. Not in the company he's with now, but it seemed like that in the one before. And I've heard that from other young people. And it's kind of what you were saying, right, where, you know, locking down. Okay, well, wait, when exactly does this happen?

[B]

Yeah, locking it down is a good way to put needs to be locked down and maybe even put in writing.

[A]

Because this is common where promises are made.

[B]

Well, I think one of the things that when you work for somebody else, you are essentially going to be subject to whatever's going on in that company. Like if they can, if they sell to another company, for example, if they downsize, if they change supervisor. I mean, things are happening in companies. Your co workers get other jobs, people you depend on. But there needs to be something, I think, in writing that says these are the things that I need some help with. So I need a person, say, while I'm working on a project to answer the phone for me, you know, to be able to say, well, so I need to focus on this thing and the way I need to do it and to be able to ask for those things. Right. They could be simple fixes, they don't have to be giant fixes, but they need to know that they're able to ask for those things and how the what, what kind of response I get in the interview is going to be very telling.

[A]

Have you found that neurodivergent people, or maybe I should just say adhd, because I'm not sure with the autism component if this would necessarily always be true. But certainly in the thousands of ADHD women that I've had the privilege of meeting, flexibility seems to be really important to us. When we are put in a position where we are, this is the job, this is what we want you to do, and we're gonna let you go do it. Versus the FaceTime and having to be there at specific. You know, it's the lack of flexibility and feeling like someone's got their thumb on you and maybe doesn't trust you and is watching what you're doing that. That seems to really be a problem for us.

[B]

Well, the elephant in the room these days is a surveillance that's going on. I'm working with people that talk about it. I'm shocked at some of the stuff that's going on now that employees are being surveilled a lot of the time and they've got these. Somebody described. It was shocking to me. I was shocked too, when I heard it like this red light, green light thing that happens on their computer when they get up to go to the bathroom, they're taking too long and they're being. Yeah, these aren't just regular jobs, not just like Amazon kind of jobs where they do that with almost everyone. But basically in regular jobs, employers are tapping in on their computers and seeing if they're, you know, sending email. They're doing all kinds of things now.

[A]

So you're just totally breaking the trust is what you're doing there.

[B]

It's very difficult, I think, for, especially with people with ADHD that have, you know, that really need to have a certain level of independence. Yeah, it is breaking the trust. But this is what employers are doing a lot of. Not every single one, but maybe it would be good to know what employers do, that kind of thing and if you're okay with that, because some people would be okay with that and some people would clearly not be okay.

[A]

Well, and Shell, what's so ridiculous about that to me is we know how our brains work, right? When we hyper focus, we lock in and you know, five hours can feel like 15 minutes. So who cares how long someone takes to go to the bathroom or whether or not they're sending a personal email because they need that doctor's appointment or making that call, as long as you're getting the work done? And often we do the work better and faster anyway.

[B]

That's. Well, all of that is 100% true, Tracy. All of it. But that's not the world we're living in right now.

[A]

That is terrifying. I. I can't even imagine working for a company like that.

[B]

Well, many people are on the people that come to me. In fact, I've got my entire class. Each one of them were working with people with companies like that.

[A]

Does that tend to be more in tech or is it specific industries or do you think it's just kind of across the board?

[B]

Well, one person was in marketing. I think it's kind of across the board tech and not just tech. Oh, it's in everything.

[A]

Oh, that's so disheartening.

[B]

It's scary in a lot of ways. I don't know why they need to have this when people are clearly not going to be doing their best work under those conditions. Why would they want to actually make it more difficult and challenging for people to get their work done or feel confident? Because when you're always, I mean, talk about anxiety levels. Why do you think there is so much anxiety?

[A]

You're literally dysregulating your employees nervous system. And then you wonder why they're not as creative, won't be as focused, won't, you know, get the work done right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yikes.

[B]

You know, flexibility is a huge element condition that people need with adhd. It's a big one. Very often doing the hybrid thing is really important. Some people just want to work from home. But sometimes working from home for a large company can have a lot of drawbacks as well. I've never had that experience. I have always worked from home, but I've always been able to regulate myself and be able to do whatever I want, you know, and create the conditions that I need for myself. Which you can do when you're at home. You can create those conditions, but how you are responded to by the company is a whole other thing. And the requirements they put on you is a whole other thing.

[A]

I don't know if this is everybody. I don't even know if this is true. This might just meet my dated view of things. But I remember when I was young I worked as a lawyer and so I worked around a lot of other lawyers. And this not only became work, but I also made a lot of really strong social, you know, friendships.

[B]

It was social connections. Yeah.

[A]

And that connection piece. And so I know for my son, my advice is always like, he likes remote work. That's great. Once or twice A week. But you need to go into the office. I don't want you to be so isolated, you know, I mean he's in New York City, but still you can be in your little concrete box, completely isolated, even though there's millions of people around. And I'm curious how you feel about that with. You know, I get it once you have kids and you know, then you've got all the social structure, you know, built in. But for young people just being by themselves with their computer day after day after day, I just, is that part of, you know, I wonder what's causing a lot of anxiety and depression.

[B]

I think. Yeah, the connection piece even, you know, people are inattentive, people are introverts and they prefer to work on their own. But I do think just for your mental health overall, it's important to connect with people. I mean, I just think find other people that you're working with and have coffee with them or do something where you're connecting human to human physically in some way. Yeah, I think maybe get together after hours. Even if you're working from home, make a date to, with with your co workers. You know, you've got to connect on that level. That's how, that is how people meet each other. That is how they create their social networks. I certainly did when I was a kid, when I just got out of school and I was working for a big corporate. You know, corporations were run differently then. They were very connection oriented. They wanted you to connect so they would make it very easy to do that. Not any. That's not happening anymore.

[A]

You don't need another planner or productivity hack. You need a system that works for your brain. One that helps you stop second guessing and start trusting yourself. My patented six step program, your ADHD brain is a. Ok. Gives you the tools to work with your brain, not against it. So you can finally follow through on what truly matters to you. Click the link in the first line of this episode's description to learn more or book a discovery call. Now let's get back to the show. You know, so. And I keep going back to my son. I, I'm sorry, but that's just kind of on my brain right now. He was in two companies. It was kind of like I was telling you, shell executive recruiting, but for doctors, scientists and lawyers in regulatory affairs. And the first company he was at, well he ended up within a couple months moving to the second company. And the second company they do, I think he goes remote one day a week and they, they won some award like one of the top 10 best places to work in New York City. And they literally, they walk their talk and they do exactly. What you're saying is they make sure that everybody does get together. So they have all these kinds of events and challenges and he's going to the Dominican Republic, I think next week. And they do like after hours kind of social stuff. They bring lunch in. So they really make an effort. Even though not everybody is in the office all the time, they really make an effort to build that community within the company. But my sense is they won one of the best places to work in New York City. They're probably unique. Probably a lot of companies do not do this.

[B]

They are unique. And too bad other companies don't take a lesson because that's exactly the way companies need to be, to do, to really, I think, not just be the best company to work for, but to produce the best products and services and to make, if they want to be profitable, you know, if they just treat people like cattle and hire and fire them at a whim and don't treat them as, as human beings with souls, you know, how is that going to work out in the long run? You know? And I know there's always that little creepy thing of AI coming into it.

[A]

I was just going to ask you about AI. I will tell you personally, AI is literally one of the best things that happened for my brain just because I struggle to order things. So I have all these thoughts and it's very hard for me to kind of put them in an order that would make sense to another brain besides my own. So it has been so helpful with just processing and writing and just communicating. Just give me the draft and then I will make it beautiful. I am curious though, what your experience has been with AI and neurodivergence and friend fo. What do you think?

[B]

For me, I use it the same way you do to help organize my thoughts and sometimes to clean up my language a little bit. To start.

[A]

Right, to start, to start.

[B]

And it does give me, you know, because it researches everything. So it's, it saves a lot of time on doing a lot of research. We use it in the work. I've, I've almost replaced the resources I've, I've had people use with AI to help them figure out different types of work they can do within their interests. Right. Because it's been very helpful for that. But I think as far as taking over other people, other jobs, that's the key. So it's going to become more, more and more. It's Going to destroy jobs. If it hasn't already, it's destroyed jobs. Especially when you think about manufacturing and things like that. You always have to stay relevant. And that's one of the things, that's one of the reasons people need to be doing this self reflective process so they can become unique again. Become unique uniquely themselves and, and not be just try and fit in with the mold. You've got to be able to stand out a little bit and have ways that you can create opportunities for yourself. Right. You have to know yourself enough to be able to see what some of the possibilities are that will make you personally relevant. And I don't know what AI is going to look like in the future. It's getting scarier because it is becoming so easy to substitute human beings and the work that they're doing. So I think it's really going to be important to have like a side kind of thing that you really enjoy doing in some way that is uniquely you. Staying unique is where it's really going to be. And that means tapping into who you are, what you want and what you enjoy. And that's going to keep you more in tune with and I think less susceptible to the AI than other people might be.

[A]

That's exactly what I was just going to going to offer. The way our brains work typically the kind of stuff that AI does is what we're not that great at anyway. So it gives us the benefits, right. Of organizing and getting all the faculty together and then we use our creativity and we make it unique, which is what AI can't do. Right. And I also can't do the soft skills. So I'm curious because that's kind of what I was thinking that. Well, if used correctly actually I think AI may be a benefit to neurodivergent people.

[B]

I think a lot of neurodivergent people use AI now. I do.

[A]

But even in careers, you know, like what they're going to eliminate versus do you feel that way too?

[B]

Yeah, that that's what we use it for. Yeah, we do use it now for that. And it's, it becomes like an instant kind of research tool and it gives you such meaty information that that's what you would spend your time doing rather than trying to figure all this stuff out and getting overwhelmed with like I use Occupational Outlook Handbook and on that those were my standard go to's. I've almost said no, don't even bother with those anymore because you can very specific questions and get real time, real world answers in your area. In Your, where you're located, where your, you know, associations and organizations you want to contact, all of that at the snap of a finger and then spend your time actually contacting those places and doing something more in line with not, you know, spending all your time researching, but just figuring it out whether or not this is the right step for you to take or the right field or the right organization. And AI actually can help with that. And yeah, absolutely. I just want to make sure that people understand that when they, what they're going into, what the possibility of their position being overtaken by AI is. And you know, I think that would be a good question to ask. Can this be automated? You know, how can I remain relevant personally? I mean, things like that are going to be really important in the future when you look at organizing what you want, figuring out what you want, making sure it's the right fit for you. All of those things, all like extra questions that you need to ask. Absolutely.

[A]

So, Shel, I want to talk to you about Mexico because you made the decision to move down there. But before we go there, is there anything else about career that you think we need to know?

[B]

I would say now is the most important time, and I said it before, but I'll say it again, now is the most important time to do a self reflective process. And that's what I've spent my time, my 35 years developing. This has been the only business that I've ever had that besides kids, art obviously, but the one that I've sustained over the years, it's been very sustainable for me. And it's the one that even in the down times, I still, and I've had some down times. Okay. I would never abandon it because I love it so much.

[A]

You just tweaked it, right? To keep your interest.

[B]

You can tweak it. You can do so many different things. And that's how everybody should be looking at the work they do and defining those things down to the last detail, down to the last detail in writing.

[A]

So you don't forget it. Because that's a big problem, right. All of a sudden things free up and you're like, oh, I'm not feeling so bad anymore. And I.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then we forget what we learned about ourselves until the next time we're up against it.

[B]

So if you look in the book I sent you at the back, it's called the Career Galaxy. Yeah. So open up in the back, you'll see the 11 by 17. So that's where everyone documents their must haves. So there it is so you don't forget it. It's right there.

[A]

We have something very similar. I don't work specifically on career. My whole thing is what am I meant to do with my life? Which, of course, touches on career. But yours is career specific.

[B]

Yeah, but it all. You know, they all. Everything overlaps, so.

[A]

Yeah, doesn't it? It absolutely does. Okay. So when I was younger, I would hear about these couples who would, you know, raise their kids. Their kids would go off, and then they would sell their house, and they would move to a place like Mexico. And I remember always thinking that would be so cool, but scary. And now that I think about it, I bet you most of the people that are doing this have adhd. And so I want to know why you decide. Because change, right? We're never scared of change. We're always looking for that next hit of dopamine. I want to know what made you decide to do this and how has it gone? Where are you in Mexico?

[B]

I'm in Puerto Vallarta.

[A]

Oh, okay. I know that place.

[B]

Well. I always wanted to live on the beach. It's paradise. This is paradise. And I live in a community where you walk out the. You walk out your door, and within a block, there's like, five restaurants, coffee houses, music, everything you could imagine. It's just so amazing. It really is. I. I mean, I always would have to go and get in a car to go anywhere, but now.

[A]

Were you in Texas before?

[B]

I was in San Antonio, yeah.

[A]

You were in San Antonio. Okay. So what was the first inkling that we. Why don't we do this?

[B]

Well, one of the things was I had a. I had a client. You know, I do the Zoom class, and I had a client who. She would get on Zoom, and I'd see this incredible background. And I had been to Puerto Vallarta years before, and I'll never forgot it, you know, but it was so remote back in the olden days, before they built it up. It's like a whole different place now. But I said, where are you? And she goes, puerto Vallarta. And I was just mesmerized, and I just. I couldn't get out of it. That was the first thing. I couldn't get it out of my head.

[A]

This was how long ago?

[B]

Probably two to three years ago.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. You moved back quickly.

[B]

No, no, it took a while. I've only been here actually now for a couple of months.

[A]

No, but that's what I mean, that it's only took two to three years to uproot everything. And you are now living in your new place?

[B]

Well, I'm in a rented apartment, but yeah, I've got a year's lease and I still. My place is for sale.

[A]

Okay, so you put your house on the market and then you left.

[B]

And then I left. But. And, and the decision to actually uproot was much quicker than all of that. I took a trip down here in March to just. Just to see if I want what the possibilities were and to talk to some people who were immigrants, you know, from the U.S. i. And I met up with my client, obviously, who she and I hung out and had a great. You know, we went to all these. She said, I never get to see any of this stuff until people come from the United States. You know how it is, you become a tourist with the person that's visiting. Right. That's what we did, all these crazy things. But she introduced me to a couple of other people. Another person from la, and I met other people from the US who had moved down here. So I just got a better sense of what it was like for them. And there was always a I'm never going back factor. That was, that was the thing that did it for me. I mean, it was scary because it's a whole new country, right? I don't speak Spanish. I'm not fluent in Spanish. I decide I'm gonna obviously have to learn Spanish. You've got to take classes. And every time I, I interact with anybody, I try and drop some of my high school Spanish. But I see it's very important if you want to, because I. The local people here are so beautiful. The culture is so beautiful. Everybody is. It's just a heart. There's a heart and soul element to it that I was missing. I was missing. And even before, you know, things started kind of shifting in the US it was starting to feel. I just always felt disconnected. I never felt like I really wanted to do all this stuff. And Santa, get to know Pete, that's just me because I am. I'm an introvert, right? So I'm not one of these people that, you know, I'm going to go out to the clubs or, you know, find different thing ways to meet people. It's just not natural for me to do that. I have family that. My family's there. I've got grandkids. So I, I will be going back, obviously, to see them.

[A]

What did they say when you said this is what we're going to do?

[B]

I think they know me pretty well and I know that it Was hard, but I know they were supportive. My son. I have one son, right. And it was hard for him, but he understood. He knows me and knew that this would be a better option for me. I get emotional thinking about. He took me to the airport. It was very difficult, but it was. It's still something I don't regret at all. I mean, even I thought I would want to go running back right away. But the more I'm here, and it took a while because I got sick. I actually got coveted down here. I never had Covid in my life, and I got it down here. It wasn't bad because, you know, I think I was. My immune system's pretty good, but it just made me tired, you know, did all the stuff that Covid will do to people. And it took a while to sort of get my energy back, But I'm feeling great now, and I've made some really good, you know, a couple really good friends. The weather is pretty hot, so you're not getting out very much because it is. It can creep up on you. Dehydration can creep up on you pretty quickly, but my dogs love it. I don't know what to say. I'm still sort of getting the feel for everything, but it's definitely another country. It's not the United States.

[A]

Are there any regrets at all, or. Everything so far has been like, yep, I made the right decision.

[B]

I think when I look at whether or not it's the right decision, I think more holistically about it than I do, just incrementally, like, yeah, it was easier this to get stuff on Amazon. They have Amazon here, but I haven't used it at all.

[A]

He doesn't need any more of our money.

[B]

He doesn't need anymore. They have great delivery services here, so you really don't. And you can order stuff. I'm still getting used to some of the. To going to the grocery stores and everything, being in Spanish, so I've been ordering stuff online, but they deliver like that, so. So it's been actually easier to get things here, and they don't charge as much. So some of the basic utilities are cheaper. WI Fi is cheaper. You know, the rents are cheaper. Basically, Puerto Vallarta is getting expensive because there's a lot of people from Canada and the U.S. who are building here, building condos, and buying up all the real. You know, it's becoming gentrified here as well. You know, I'm looking out for that. I'm kind of monitoring it, but it's still. Overall, I Would say it's more affordable in many ways, but you could still spend a lot of money. Some things are very equivalent to the US here, so you have to be careful. It's just that I think you can find more ways to save money here if you, you have to.

[A]

Is your plan to buy something there?

[B]

I haven't decided. I probably won't decide for a year or something like that. I need to find out more about what it's like to purchase real estate because of course they want you to buy and prices are going up. So I don't know, it just depends on if I sell my condo. It's. So the real estate market basically tanked when I left. It tanked in San Antonio and nothing was moving at all. So I don't know my. It's how long it's going to take to sell it. But I think when I do sell it, I may consider investing in some way, doing some local investments. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking of more is investing in the community and becoming part of the community, helping the community because you want to, you want to be part of it instead of just somebody taking, taking. I don't, I don't want to be.

[A]

That gentrified high rise where you're never down with the people. So two questions I have for you. So you had Covid, what was your experience with healthcare?

[B]

The healthcare here is amazing. So I went to the doctor before I got diagnosed. So they, the doctor, the clinics there, quite a few of them, you can walk into the clinic and it's on donation. The doctor is there, it's a donation because they're connected to the pharmacies. Right. So between she, she, she diagnosed me, I didn't need, she said, you don't need to get the test. I know the symptom, you know, she said, you have it. So she gave me, she wrote me a prescription. But you know that you need to rest. You know, there's not any medicine you can take. We all know that. Right. So she gave me something, I think for to bring the fever down a little bit. And the whole thing cost me about $15.

[A]

Oh my gosh. Okay. And then the second thing, which I'm sure everybody asks you, what about crime?

[B]

I feel safer here than I've ever felt like. You can walk around, I take my dogs out, pitch dark. And I feel completely safe here. And I don't know why. It's just this feeling you have. You just feel safe and there's petty, you know, I think there's you have to watch your purse and everything. There's definitely petty crime, but I think you don't have to worry about getting attacked or getting randomly. Something happened. Happening. It's. It's not perfect. You know, I don't think it's perfect, but I think this Puerto Vallarta, I think, is the fourth safest city in Mexico. That's what it's been. And I do think cartels are here.

[A]

Believe it or not, that's what I'd be more worried about, getting in the middle of that.

[B]

Well, the only reason you would get in the middle of it if is if you're part of it. So actually they keep the cut. They keep it safe. Safe because they are not going to make a city or make a place unsafe for their relatives and their families and things like that. They are the ones that actually keep it safe. That's my feeling. That's my guess. I don't know. But it's not a problem here. I feel very safe here.

[A]

I love that. And thank you for sharing your experience. It is something I have always thought of since I was a little kid. And it may be something that ultimately we do. I'm certainly going to get out of this area. I just feel like this was a great. I live in the country, great place to raise kids, but way too much upkeep certain times of the year. And what is the point of all this for, you know, my husband, our dogs and me?

[B]

It's. This is. I would say, if you have a chance to. The reason I picked Mexico is because my family. Because I could go back to and see my family a lot. It's a lot. And that's why a lot of people choose Mexico. But Mexico has. What people don't realize is that there. It's as varied as the United States in terms of different regions and different experiences and different cultures even. And there's so much to see here. There's so much to explore. Beautiful cities, gorgeous cities. The fresh fruits and vegetables. I mean, seriously. And fish here. I mean, unbelievable food experiences and everything here. It's just different, you know, And. And it's. It's got more of a heart. It's got the heart.

[A]

Well, culture, right?

[B]

The culture is so beautiful. It really is. Just even the people that deliver, like I would notice in the States, they just didn't seem very happy. They seem kind of miserable. They come up and they're smiling and they go, buenos dias. Everybody says, buenos tardes. Buenos dias. You know, hola. Everybody here, even little kids, I Mean, it's so cute. It's wonderful.

[A]

Well, definitely. So my best friend for years was from Mexico. Their sense of community and I mean, she was just shocked when she got here that she couldn't just call people up and say at 5 o' clock when most of us are like thinking about dinner in Mexico, you know, like, if you've got a bunch of kids, the women will just be like, let's go meet for coffee. And they'll just go off and meet for coffee. And it's. Everything's at the drop of a hat. And she was like, what do you mean I have to schedule this? I have to get an appointment. She used to make fun of me all the time because she'd need an appointment to go, you know, get coffee or go to dinner. She couldn't just last minute and just think that that would be really great because we are not like that here in the United States at all. You do need an appointment for everything.

[B]

Oh, no, you people gather, they get together, they meet. I mean, I met more people here in three weeks than I did in seven years in San Antonio.

[A]

It's probably your people too, right? Because many of those people are people who've done the same thing you've done. Instead of kind of staying in their little whatever that they've been in for how many decades, they're like, what can I explore? What new thing can I try? What can I experience? So it makes sense that you'd be way more around your people. Well, you're, you're really encouraging me to consider this, so thank you.

[B]

Go to the consulate, make sure you have, like, you have to go through the process of getting your temporary residency. So I'm not going to underplay that. You really? Definitely. That takes a little bit of planning. But I would say if you're interested, I'll give you the name of a person who's a facilitator. Get a facilitator. They make everything so much easier.

[A]

Absolutely. Okay, so I'm going to get that facilitator information. A couple things as we wrap up up, let's do a lightning round. What is your favorite ADHD hack?

[B]

How about my life? My life is a hack. Just getting up in the morning.

[A]

Okay, but what do you do that helps with that?

[B]

I think basically having a little bit of a routine, but not scheduling everything. I just, I need wide bursts. I need a lot of time in between things. So I don't schedule things really close together. I would say that would be my, my hack. I like to have Time to have some coffee. You know, just get. I. I need to unwind. That's just me.

[A]

Okay. What's the last thing you lost?

[B]

A really. A cup that I really love coming here. Yeah. There are a few. A few things in moving that I kind of. Because I tried to take the things that were really important to me and a couple of them were lost here. Yeah.

[A]

Hopefully you'll find another. Another cup that you really love because I know what that feels like.

[B]

You know cups, they're very important.

[A]

Yeah. And we are creatures of specificity.

[B]

I've had this cup for 15 years. 15 years. And I dropped it. It. You could. I don't know if you can see the crack here but I dropped it here and I quickly. I got some glue and it's kind of pieced together. I refuse to give this up. I don't care how many times it's cracked. Oh. But I've had this. This is like my. My favorite cup right here.

[A]

So one system that you'll never give up.

[B]

One system. The one that I use with people. The crew. Galaxy. Exactly.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Never give it up. Never ever, ever. And it'll just get better. It'll get. It'll get cleaner and easier and more dynamic.

[A]

Well and I'm certain the way you've built it too. It's something that you can always go back to too. When things aren't feeling right.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Kind of that again that foundation. So Shell, where can people find you? Where can they find your book?

[B]

Book?

[A]

Give us all the links or sources or where we're supposed to go.

[B]

Two ways to find the book. UnlockYourCareerPath.com and I am kind of asking people to because I've made the download the fillable ebook very affordable and it's the mo. It's more updated than the Spiral Bound because you know how you have to do the reprinting for the Spiral Bound. The Spiral bound is available on Amazon and you can find it. You just plug my name in. Shel Mendelsohn. You don't have to put the whole name of it in. Just put my name in and it should come up and then unlock your career path. You can find both the link to get to Amazon there unlockyourcareerpath.com and then my website for my masterclass which is where we use the book and the book comes with the masterclass. We go through it and it's cherry picked with coaching, support and interaction. Building a network of support for yourself that is either passion to career or.

[A]

Careercoachingwithshell.Com okay, so what we will do is we will have all of these links in our show notes Shel, thank you so much for spending time with us here today again.

[B]

Now I know why I wanted to talk to you again. Because you're so delightful. You ask the best questions. You're fantastic.

[A]

Well, but you're really fun to ask questions of. Sometimes it's not quite as good. So I think you're a great interviewee, a great guest. So thank you.

[B]

Thank you very much. Yeah, this has been a pleasure.

[A]

Same here. So that's what we have for you for this week. If you liked this episode with Shel, please let us know by leaving a review. Because our goal is to change the conversation around adhd, helping as many women as we possibly can learn how their ADHD brains work so that they too may discover their amazing strengths. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you here next week. You've been listening to the ADHD for Smartass Women podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Otsuka. Join us at adhdforsmartwomen.com where you can find more information on my new book, ADHD for Smartass Women and my patented you'd ADHD Brain Brain is a OKAY system to help you get unstuck and fall in love with your brilliant brain. Your ADHD brain is not broken. You just don't have the right tools. If you're sick of feeling behind, overwhelmed or like you're always playing catch up, my patented program, your ADHD Brain is a OK Academy will give you the system that you need to finally take control and move forward. It's designed specifically for how our ADHD brains actually work. No forcing, no shame, just a real blueprint that shows you exactly who you are, what truly matters to you, and what you should do next with your life. For more information, find the link in the first line of this episode's description. Look, you already have everything you need. Let me show you how to use it.