EP. 368: This Is What Alignment Feels Like with Clare Adams

Summary

Episode Summary

Podcast: ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka

Episode: EP. 368: This Is What Alignment Feels Like with Clare Adams

Date: January 21, 2026

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Overview:

In this episode, Tracy Otsuka sits down with Clare Adams, a British Canadian artist, poet, community builder, and advocate, to discuss the unique journey of discovering and thriving with ADHD, particularly as a woman. Clare shares her late-in-life ADHD diagnosis story, how supportive parenting changed her trajectory, the power of reframing ADHD as a strength, and the process of building a career—and a business—aligned with her values, passions, and natural talents. The conversation delves into authenticity, the transformational impact of connection and community, and actionable ways to fall in love with one’s ADHD brain.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Clare’s ADHD Discovery and Diagnosis

• Late Diagnosis, Family Connection, and Grief
  • Clare wasn’t aware of ADHD in childhood; it wasn’t discussed or recognized. (05:49)
  • Her daughter’s struggles led to assessments that mentioned ADHD, but it wasn’t addressed as a central concern.
  • Discovery expanded as her children became teenagers and research increased, especially via social media.
  • ADHD diagnosis at age 50, after both her children were diagnosed. Tracy: “Did you know it was genetic, Clare, at the time?” / Clare: “I can’t really remember when I really started to pick up, but a lot of my initial awareness ... came from my daughter Tash, being extremely smart and curious herself.” (07:02–07:25)
  • Recognized patterns in her family, particularly in her father.
  • Initially embraced the diagnosis as an explanation—but also grieved lost time and opportunities, feeling vulnerable and self-critical. (09:00–10:00)
  • “As soon as I saw and recognized ADHD... I then started focusing on the negatives, I think, and started doubting myself.” (28:43)

Reframing ADHD: Embracing Strengths over Deficits

• Environment and Support

  • Supportive parenting and school environments were protective factors, allowing Clare to flourish as a “quirky” and “highly spirited” child.
  • “If you have a supportive parent at home who’s on your side, it is literally life-changing.” (20:16)
  • Reflects on how negative support in adulthood—and an unsupportive relationship—amplified ADHD struggles.
  • “One of the ways that I am successful in living with ADHD is actually embracing some of those things and saying, well, it might not be how everybody does it, but I’m really okay with that.” (15:06)

• Strengths as Double-Edged Swords

  • ADHD traits are not merely advantageous or detrimental—they contain both sides.
  • “Every one of those things has a good side and a bad side. That high energy and that passion actually gets me into trouble when I can’t shut up... but equally, the not-super-organized actually means I’m highly flexible.” (11:22)
  • ADHDers thrive in dynamic, high-pressure environments (e.g., airline operations); rigidity is not a necessity for success.

Identity, Authenticity, and Community

• Authenticity as Alignment

  • Clare’s journey illustrates importance of “internal work” to discover who you really are, not just who you were told to be.
  • “It took me back inside of myself… What was different for me about your program [Your ADHD Brain is A-OK] … it was inside out, not outside in.” (35:15)
  • “We’re put into a box… but with A-OK, we’re getting rid of that box.” (37:50)
  • Emotional resonance of “holding hands with your five-year-old self” as a metaphor for rediscovering authentic identity. (65:44)

• The Power of Connection and Community

  • Clare underscores the essential role of supportive community: “You can’t do it alone. Even now, when you have a bad day… If somebody isn’t there going, ‘Hey, just remember last week you did this, this, this…’ Life’s a lot easier.” (31:33)
  • Importance of surrounding oneself with uplifting, understanding people—professionally and personally.

• ADHD and Societal Perfectionism

  • The modern world is “binary” and polarized; pressure to conform stifles nuance and neurodiversity.
  • “If, when we’re rushing toward productivity... and everybody’s like, ‘We’ve all got to fix the problem’... There isn’t room for nuance. We’ve lost all of that.” (46:37)
  • ADHDers as “canaries in the coal mine” recognizing problems in today’s productivity- and status-obsessed culture. (47:42)

Building a Life—and Business—in Alignment

• Non-linear Career Path and Value-Driven Choices

  • Clare’s career defied traditional trajectories: law, business, health, aviation, marketing, and more.
  • Followed her curiosity and what felt purposeful instead of societal definitions of success.
  • “It doesn’t get much more ADHD than that. It served me well... What about you define your own version of success?” (26:17)
  • Impact of “pre-tirement”: intentionally crafting a work-life blend anchored in joy, values, and flexibility, rather than climbing titles.

• Founding Compassion Art Creations

  • Clare’s business evolved from a desire to express empathy, foster connection, support nonprofits, and create meaningful gifts (jewelry, art, poetry, memorials).
  • “If it’s not joyful, we don’t do it.” (55:05)
  • Features innovative offerings like memorial jewelry containing pet/human ashes—a physical token of love and memory. (51:52)
  • Examples of authentic connection (e.g., gifting jewelry to strangers who experienced disrespect) as micro-acts of kindness and validation.

• Purpose and Impact

  • Clare’s “Best Humans of 2025” campaign highlights everyday acts of care, aiming to counter negativity and showcase the ripple effect of kindness. (55:24)
  • “There’s so much power in that... That’s what life’s about, isn’t it? That’s what living is all about.” (57:34)

Living Well with ADHD: Tactics and Takeaways

• Daily ADHD Hacks

  • Reliance on lists, alarms, and micro-rewards; leveraging digital systems for reminders. (63:08)
  • Playful tricks for motivation: “Racing the kettle” (starting a task during the time it takes to boil water, etc.) (64:02)
  • Mini-mantras: “Well, it’s better than it was.” A gentle, positive, progress-focused self-talk. (65:09)
  • Progress over perfection—and emphasizing self-compassion with minor, cumulative improvements.

• Advice for Listeners

  • “You are wonderful as you are… In all of space and time, the fact that you even exist is incredible. That’s enough.” (57:43)
  • The importance of finding community, “your tribe,” and the permission to show up authentically—even on tough days.
  • “We’re not supposed to do this alone.” (57:43)
  • Take the pressure off productivity; focus on meaningful connection and contribution.

• Program Endorsement

  • Clare’s testimony for the A-OK program: “You’ll never regret it. Could be literally life transforming—and not from an outside in, but it will reconnect you with your five-year-old self.” (65:44)
  • Stresses that this is a different, internal, and empowering approach compared to typical self-help or coaching.

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• On ADHD Positives & Trade-offs:

  • “Every one of those things has a good side and a bad side… The not-super-organized actually means I’m highly flexible.”
    — Clare, (11:22)

• On Embracing Authenticity:

  • “It took me back inside of myself... building block by block, and making decisions, not being assessed by somebody else and just getting a result.”
    — Clare, (36:14)

• On Connection:

  • “You can’t do it alone. Even now, when you have a bad day... If somebody isn’t there going, ‘Hey, just remember last week you did this, this, this…’ Life’s a lot easier.”
    — Clare, (31:33)

• On Redefining Success:

  • “If it’s not joyful, we don’t do it.”
    — Clare, (55:05)

• On Self-worth and Existence:

  • “In all of space and time, the fact that you even exist is incredible. That’s enough.”
    — Clare, (57:43)

• On Progress:

  • “Well, it’s better. It’s better than it was.”
    — Clare, (65:09)

• On Empowerment Through Identity Work:

  • “You’ll never regret [the A-OK program]… it will reconnect you with your five-year-old self. …This is from my heart because that’s the kind of impact that you had.”
    — Clare, (65:44)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Clare’s Introduction & “Bonkers” Life Story – 04:58
• ADHD Diagnosis in the Family – 05:49
• Reflecting on Late Diagnosis and Early Life – 13:40
• Environment and Support Effect – 20:16
• Career Trajectory and Defining Success – 21:14, 26:04
• Positive Impact of ADHD—Strengths & Flexibility – 11:22, 46:37
• Discussion of “Your ADHD Brain Is A-OK” Program – 28:43, 35:15
• Founding Compassion Art Creations – 48:55
• Micro-Habits, Hacks and Self-Talk – 63:08
• Advice to Listeners on Self-Compassion & Community – 57:43
• Program Endorsement and Contact Info – 65:44, 67:07

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Where to Find Clare

• Website: compassionartcreations.com / compassionartcreations.ca
• Instagram / Facebook / LinkedIn: Compassion Art Creations
• Open to collaboration, consultation, and authentic connection.

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Episode in a Nutshell

This episode is a vibrant, hopeful, and practical conversation about living—and thriving—authentically with ADHD as a woman. Clare Adams’ story highlights the transformative power of supportive environments, identity work, and self-compassion. By choosing alignment over conformity and contribution over status, she exemplifies how embracing difference becomes a strength—and how joy, connection, and authenticity can be the ultimate measures of success.

Transcript

[A]

Before we start, a quick note. If you've been listening to this podcast and thinking, I need more than insight, I need support, this is for you. Your ADHD brain is not broken. It just never came with a map. That is why I created you'd ADHD Brain is a okay academy. It's my patented step by step framework to help you build a life. And that finally fits how your brain works. Ready to get started? Click the link in the show notes to sign up or book a free discovery call with me now. On with the show. Richard Branson, Michael Phelps, Justin Timberlake, James Carville. Wait a minute. Where are the women? Greta Gerwig, Lisa Ling, Audra McDonald, Simone Biles. That sounds like a list of highly successful titans in a variety of industries. They all have adhd, but you don't hear much about that now, do you? You know what else you don't hear about are the 43% of people with ADHD who are in excellent mental health. Why aren't we talking about them and what they are doing? I'm your host, Tracy Adsuka, and that's exactly what we do here. I'm a lawyer, not a doctor, a lifelong student, and now the author of my new book, ADHD for Smartass Women. I'm also a certified ADHD coach. And the creator of youf ADHD Brain is aok, a patented system that helps ADHD women just like you get unstuck and fall in love with their brilliant brains. Here we embrace our too muchness and we focus on our strengths. My guests and I credit our ADHD for some of our greatest gifts. And to those who still think they're too much, too impulsive, too scattered, too disorganized, I say no one ever made a difference by being too little. Hello, hello, hello. I am your host, Tracy Otsuka. Thank you so much for joining me here for another episode of ADHD for Smartass Women. You know that my personal is always to show you who you are and then inspire you to be it. And in the thousands of ADHD women that I've had the privilege of meeting, I have never met one that wasn't truly brilliant at something. Not one. So of course, I am just delighted to introduce you to Claire Adams. Claire Adams is a British Canadian artist, poet, community builder and humanity advocate. She holds a law degree and an MBA, maintains a devoted Duolingo habit. 1444 day streak and counting. I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds impressive. This sounds even more impressive. And she has moved houses 24 times. Having lived in England, Austria and the Channel Islands. She now calls Kamloops, British Columbia, home, where she's a single mom to two incredible young adult children and two delightful dogs. Claire's career is as varied as her wardrobe is colorful, spanning health service management. Oh my gosh, this list goes on and on. Health service management, airline operations, cancer research, fundraising and marketing, media and pr. A consistent through line, however, has been service, curiosity and the belief that work should be meaningful and enjoyable. She's a firm believer in living a full life in pre tirement. I've never heard that term. I love it. A committed volunteer, Claire has served on charitable boards, organized fundraising events, supported wildfire response efforts, and helped run community crib nights. Today, she's intentionally focusing her energy on business work that aligns with her values, passions, strengths and skills. Diagnosed with adhd at age 50 after both of her children were identified, Claire dove deep into learning and immediately recognized herself in the diagnosis. In 2023, she joined our signature, Your ADHD brain is a okay program which became a transformational catalyst. These are her words, not mine. Setting her on a new path of collaboration, connection and self trust. Welcome, Claire. Did I get all of that right? And oh my gosh, when you hear me saying all that, what do you think? Because this is a lot even by ADHD standards.

[B]

Yeah, I think it sounds kind of bonkers. And 24 moods is, I don't know if it's impress just crazy. I'd like to point out that I think 11 of those were within four years on Jersey and the Channel Islands because it's a very unusual place. It's a tax haven and so people who are not born there are designated non qualys. You could only have non qualys housing and things. And so there's a huge pressure in that market and we could spend an hour talking about that. But it was an interesting time.

[A]

I mean, if you don't know any better, right? If that's just the way it is and everybody else is dealing with it, it's just an opportunity to problem solve.

[B]

There you go. Yeah, very much, absolutely.

[A]

Okay, so what I always want to talk about initially is our guests ADHD diagnoses stories. So would you mind sharing yours?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. I don't really remember any mention of ADHD when I was younger. Like I don't even like not even other friends or anything. It probably started to creep in a bit when I was a young adult or mid-30s when my kids came up, but it really wasn't something I was hugely aware of. And then my Daughter is gifted, super, super smart, but seemed to have some struggles at school and so we got her assessed and it was a broad assessment and it's interesting because I wasn't actually in the room. I was reflecting on that. I wasn't in the room when she was assessed. And so she was diagnosed with anxiety and she was sort of in and amongst gifted and different things. This ADD was in there and nobody really spoke to it. So, you know, we made sure that she. There was a movement piece that was mentioned in terms of being a focus piece, being able to listen to music or being able to like twiddle something. Like, I definitely got into the fidget spinners and. But didn't still really necessarily see that as something that was very specifically adhd and certainly never. No one ever recommended medication for her or anything that was sort of in the background there.

[A]

Did you know it was genetic, Claire, at the time?

[B]

Oh, yes, well. And so I guess again there was. I can't really remember when I sort of really started to pick up, but I feel like an awful lot of my initial awareness and learning and that actually came from my daughter Tash, being extremely smart and curious herself, then did an awful lot of learning. She was on social media as a teenager and sharing lots of reels and clips and hacks things. She taught me so much. I guess in the middle of that as well, in those sorts of conversations, I started reflecting that, yeah, somebody in my family had said that my dad had the least sat upon bottom in Britain and. And that sort of went, oh, yes, wait a minute. I think then I started to see that little bit of a pattern there. But again, I mean, I'm really lucky. It never been framed in a negative. It had never been framed as some sort of a thing that had to be diagnosed. Right. Or an issue. Then my son, when he got into high school, he actually, again, I think by this point way much more awareness, not only in professionals and that, but amongst kids and the population at large. Right. And so he said, I'm struggling a bit with focus. Can I get assessed? Absolutely. And that time I was in the room with him at the doctors and sat going, yeah, yeah, I would have said yes to that too, you know, and just like mentally joining in, going, so as soon as I was done, I was like, can I have an appointment for next week for me, please? And sure enough, by that point was not surprised at all to get the diagnosis. What I find really, really interesting and which is, you know, leads a good segue sort of to the power of what, what you've done for me is that my immediate reaction I think was like, gosh, yes, that explains a lot. If I look back, I can quickly see all these negatives that were caused. I got married at age 20 at university, possibly impulsive, right. I was definitely a risk taker. And so I was like, oh my goodness, what if, you know, I should have found out this years ago, whatever, get me on medication, let's fix the problem. And I do think then that led me, you know, when I look back, I was in a fairly negative, vulnerable place then for a while and I ended up in a what was ultimately quite unhealthy relationship. And then I was, I think my self esteem really got the double whammy. And I think that I then became again defensive and again like I listened to your episode this week on that safety versus being understood. And it resonated so much where all of a sudden like I was in this very, it felt like I was in this very desperate space of like, nobody understands me, nobody, you know, nobody gets me kind of a thing. And you know, I ended up with a stress leap off work. Ultimately I, I did end up losing my job. And I think, you know, when I look back, it's sort of the tail end of that. But right in, that was in a year ago now, 2025. But in 2023, youth came in and gave me another lens that has really had me stop with that kind of fix it mentality. And I think now I'm as passionate as you in terms of saying I don't have, like, it's not a disability, it's just my brain operates differently and like I can't understate the gift that that was from you, like really truly transformative. And if anybody else ever kind of questions, you know, I think that I remember even for myself, like, do you sign up? It's, you know, a good chunk of change kind of, you know, you have all that and if you, you're like me and you've done lots of different courses and self development over the years and that you're like, well, we'll give it a, you know. But it was, it was mind blowingly transformational at such a core level. Right. And so that for me then enabled me to operate from a completely different starting point internally of everything isn't just negative. There's a positive and a negative. And I think for me one of the big things was understanding that it's not a trade off. So I think in my head I'd always thought, well, adhd gives me energy. Right. So like when I was doing my MBA and working full time and a single mom, I could go till 2 in the morning and be up at 6. But then I'm not very organized, say. But now I see that actually it's not one dimensional like that. It's not like, well, I have these things, but I also have these things that are a problem. Every one of those things has a good side and a bad side. Right. That high energy and that passion actually gets me into trouble when I can't shut up because it's the same drive and energy. Right. Coming out. But equally the not super organized actually means I'm highly flexible. And so, you know, when I think back to like how I end up going into airline operations and that, I absolutely love that. Like, oh, we have a heart attack on an inbound aircraft. Right? Go, go, go, go, go. Right. If you're a big planner, I don't think that you're going to thrive in that space. So that's been a fundamental change for me is being able to see that it's not a trade off. It's not like I have to carry all this heavy baggage if I'm going to celebrate this bit of me. Like, we can totally change that paradigm and say there is good and bad to every little bit of us and it's just how we see it and then also how we use that, how we use that to guide it and amplify the good. Yeah.

[A]

And it's all about environment. Right. We have to be in the right place with people that love and support us exactly the way we are. If they're constantly trying to change us and make us who we're not, it's never gonna work.

[B]

So connection is so important for that reason too.

[A]

Yes, yes. We need it. Okay, so I wanna know a little bit more about the diagnoses. Meaning were there things that at the point you were sitting in, you know, the Clin office with your son where you had been struggling and questioning yourself and thinking there's something wrong, or was it just completely out of left field?

[B]

No, I think. And again, I have a feeling this is a really common experience for many of us that are diagnosed later. I labeled myself as quirky. I was definitely different. An aunt of mine, when I talked to her about it, said, you were always a highly spirited child. It's like, that's a very kind way of saying it. Absolutely, absolutely. I think I was aware that I was an outlier and I often use that term still that I'm an outlier in a lot of my opinions or way of thinking or. But I again didn't necessarily see it all as a problem. There were elements for sure. So being a verbal processor and then getting hyper focused means that you start talking and don't shut up. I knew myself well enough in that sense, but again, wouldn't have necessarily sort of seen that as like a clinical problem or something that could be, could be fixed in, in that sense by a medication or anything either. And the other thing then was that is still like one of the major things that I really resonate with today is just yeah, that sort of mental disorganization to some degree. And thank goodness for find my iPhone because you know, we suddenly be aware what other people don't have to use. Find my iPhone on a daily basis between three people who have adhd multi.

[A]

Day basis, they don't even know that it's an option.

[B]

Right, exactly. And again, I think I was really, really fortunate growing up that again I was loved. I wasn't torn apart for that kind of thing. Again, my dad, probably himself I believe they don't recognize that I'm adhd. We don't talk about it at all with them. They're like, don't see it, don't really buy into it, whatever. But dad's definitely got the hyper focus. The amount of, he's an electronics engineer in the amount of times you have a TV or a toaster or something apart for three weeks. So while he's busily fixing it, you know, and all the patients in the world for that where many of us wouldn't. And so I think he had a lot of patience or both my parents had a lot of patience with me. They'll still talk about being on vacation and having to walk up and down the high street to find anywhere that would have tomato soup because I'm such a picky eater, amazingly sensitive on eating and I had lots of nightmares and I always go through and be on the end of their bed and things. So you know, they were all things that you look back and I'm pretty sure that they're associated with adhd, but they were always just seen as sort of quirky character traits and people gave me the grace around that, which I'm super, super thankful for. And I think that again, that's where actually when I got my diagnosis and then sort of saw it, you know, was focused on all the negatives and all the sort of things that I could have done differently had I been diagnosed earlier or something. It was a Time then when I wasn't surrounded by that family, and then I was in a relationship that was quite happy to pick apart the problems of being ADHD and things. And so that's where you're. Again, your episode this week really, really resonated for me is recognizing that. Yeah. Like, what I didn't have at that time was that family really countering it. And I think because my family sort of didn't really buy into it, it was certainly not somebody that I was then really talking those things through with them either. And it's hard long distance. So it was interesting. But for me, yeah, the forgetfulness. Yeah, kind of forgetfulness. I can get involved in something and then just totally forget or like, I'm definitely somebody who cleans in one room and takes something to another room and then starts cleaning in that room. And about three hours later, we'll circle back to this room and go, that's right, I was doing that and finish that off kind of thing. But again, even now, I'm like, that's not a problem, though. For me. That's how I do things. So I recognize that it's incredibly different. But actually, I'd say that's one of the ways that I am successful in living with adhd, is actually embracing some of those things and saying, well, it might not be how everybody does it, but I'm really okay with that. None of us are very good at, like, cleaning it. Thought about cleaning for an hour or whatever, but now it's like, every time I go to the washroom, I'll just. I have a cloth under the sink, and so I'll just wipe off the taps or I'll just wipe one thing. So every time I go, there's a little piece done, and so it's all these little micro pieces. And do I ever actually clean? No. Mentally, in my head, I just went to the bathroom, and I think looking back as well, like, I recognized there was loads of those kind of hacks that I'd naturally done over the years that had served me well.

[A]

You were so lucky, though, that you had a family that although you were quirky, they loved and supported you the way you were. And then it sounds like, on top of that, you were really smart. So you didn't struggle in school. You could do school the way school was made.

[B]

Yes. The only thing on that that I wasn't so smart is that I do think that we kind of almost start to own this. I'm an outlier and take it as a bit of a badge of honor. And I look back at that and think about the times when like. And we can talk more about that. I don't want to just sort of take us down a rabbit hole, but I think a part of that. I was asked in sixth form, A grade, grade 12, it would be here if I wanted to apply to Oxford or Cambridge. And I was like, no, thanks. No, they're creepy old buildings. And now I look back and go, possibly not the smartest, impulsive decision that you could have made. That said, I've never, ever regretted going to University of Huddersfield and getting a law degree. So don't get me wrong, but there are things like that.

[A]

Did your parents, were they part of this discussion or was this just something that someone mentioned it to you at school and you said, nope, not doing.

[B]

It, pretty much as I remember it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember us all getting called into the head of sixth form and, you know, and it was like, no. And again, I'm very grateful. Like, my mum and dad have always been supportive. I'm truly, truly blessed with the parenting that I have received because even when I moved to Vienna, they wanted me to go straight to university, I'm sure, but they were like, well, okay, you can take a year out but like, plan now so that you're coming back kind of thing. And then they let me go and then they never once tried to talk me out of moving to Jersey or moving to Canada. Not once. And now as a parent, I'm like, they must have just been torn up on the inside. Definitely carry some guilt around that. But my goodness, were they amazing parents because they never showed it to me. And, you know, I do believe they love me.

[A]

Yeah, well, and that, you know, your story really illustrates how important supportive parenting is for those of us with ADHD brains. Right. If we have. And you were lucky too, because, you know, the school system played in your favor as well. But even if it didn't, if you have a supportive parent at home who's on your side, it is literally life changing versus you can imagine a child who, you know, is constantly mocked at home. They're never good enough. They're too loud, they're too much, they're too little. And then they go to school and they're experiencing that same thing. Of course that's trauma. Of course that changes your brain.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I am curious though. So you had the parents working for you, you had the school system working for you. What happened once you got into the workforce, Was that the same thing? Was that easy for you? Or was that more Of a struggle?

[B]

No, I'd say again I'm fortunate, I'm naturally very curious and I'm a fast learner and so that has served me very well. So I've typically moved up very quickly and, and succeeded and a lot of my moves in terms of career have been very much around the situation. So when I moved to Jersey and the Channel Islands because I was a non local I was in the health service at that time and loving it but I couldn't work for the health service in Jersey so that forced a change and it's a tax haven so everyone works in finance. So I went and did finance and got into global and again quickly did very well in that space but then had the like this is not really living my values again. I was very, very fortunate in the National Health Service NHS in England Graduate Management Training Scheme that that was the very first time I, I'd have to go back and look I was thinking about this the other love to know who the woman was that came in and did some sort of personal development stuff, right Got us to think about writing a life obituary thinking about where we feel stress in our body. I remember like laying down like I had never been introduced to anything like that in my life before that point that I think really kick started something in me of like always then paying attention and when things don't feel right, like well what is it? What made me feel good today? What didn't make me feel like being. Taking a very analytical approach to that. And so that's kind of the thing that I think then like yeah sure everything's going great at the bank and I was making good money but like that doesn't feed my soul. So that was just a very strange. And again so many happy accidents and. And I think this is where our impulsiveness or foolish fearlessness maybe sometimes serves us very well in many, many ways because I somebody else at the bank said they just started working at the airport on Saturdays so we had our like proper job and I'm like that sounds really fun. So next minute I'm doing the same thing. I was working Saturdays check in at the airport during the week I was a marketing manager, internal communications marketing manager at the bank and again didn't care. Right. Like it's like you know, going and work at 7:11 or something like I don't care about say everybody's everybody. So that humanity piece is really key in that I think for me as well I'm not status driven in that way. And then yeah after a while I'm like, oh this, this is way more fun. And so I took like a half salary cup to go and become a load controller initially and then within six months I was a duty manager.

[A]

Did you ever practice law?

[B]

No, I never actually articled, I never did my post credit. I did my. And so that's the thing, I did my law degree, absolutely loved it. And I was in the debating society and. But I did do business in European law and maybe the fact it was more corporate focused, I mean we did do criminal law and things, but whether I saw that sort of as a dry. And I actually did a week's placement in Manchester with a medical negligence and emergency law firm. Like they'd done like the herald of free enterprise and stuff. That was quite fascinating but so niche. I was like, well that's not very representative. And so I kind of felt like, well, I don't really want to be just doing contracts or commercial law. And. And that didn't. So what happened in parallel to that was that again, student living, trying to pay your way through life. I started doing night duty as a care aide at a nursing home as over there. I didn't need to have licensing or anything, I just got trained. And so I think it was like every Friday and every other Wednesday or something I would work 9pm till 8am with people who were very senior or end of life. There's not palliative necessarily, but like it was a nursing home, not just a seniors living place. And so I saw death, I saw the fragility of life. I got so much out of the connections that I made with people in that space that, you know, you see the difference you can make by just stopping and talking to somebody for a few minutes or remembering to ask about their son or daughter or whatever. And it really touched me. And so a friend of my mum, I've been so lucky. I've been so lucky in life. Friend of my mum's Jean Carter and sadly she's no longer with us, but she was chair of a local of a regional health authority at the time. And mom said, why don't you talk to Jean? And so I kind of posed the question to Jean of like, okay, I got a law degree and I love it, love all the. But I really love this. How do I smush them together? And that's where I ended up successfully applying to the NHS Management Training Program.

[A]

You had no linear thought whatsoever in terms of career trajectory. You basically just went with what felt good, what felt interesting and more mission driven.

[B]

And it doesn't get much more ADHD than that. Right? Yeah, it served me well. It's interesting because for sure, you get the questions. Or, you know, my sister, the complete opposite, she's always been a pharmacist, and she's just gone up as a pharmacist and always worked sort of in the uk. And so you can sometimes feel that brush or sort of friction from not fitting what people see as that definition of success. But again, I've been fortunate. Ali Davies is a coach on Vancouver island who I connected with years and years ago. And again, again, very quickly, kind of like, well, what. What about you define your own version of success? And, you know, so there's these little things over the years that have been very, very serendipitous, really. But I'm very fortuitous in helping me before I knew anything about sort of why this was a natural inclination to do with adhd. Just kind of finding my way through. And I think the curiosity and acting on that curiosity is also a part that naturally then supports you in that. Right. Because you read the books about self development or read the books then about, you know, Ken Robinson and, you know, finding the things that interest you're finding your passions and things. So I think that that is something, you know, that I'm grateful has it. That's the positive and the negative again. Right. Like, a lot of the positive support some of what might otherwise be deemed negatives. But it's been a wonderful journey that I wouldn't have chosen, like, would never have set out to get to here where I am today, sort of intentionally. But I've loved everything along the way, and I've not really ever had a job that I didn't love in one way or another.

[A]

You know, that's how we should all be living our lives. Right. If you don't love it, go find something that you really do love. Because life is too short. And there is so much, especially with our ADHD brains, that we do love, and then it doesn't feel like work.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So before I started prepping for our podcast, I didn't even remember that we were gonna talk about my program. Your ADHD brain is a. Okay. But the timing is coincidentally perfect because we are launching this week, so I am just thrilled to have you here. Everything sounded so good, though. Everything in your life, you know, all the different steps that you took.

[B]

I do wanna call out that I had muddled my way through life and it had kind of turned out okay. But then I, as soon as I saw and recognized ADHD at the time. I then started focusing on the negatives, I think and started doubting myself and started like, well, what if I had chosen to go to Oxford? Maybe my life wouldn't have looked like this. Like it's very easy to start getting into that way of thinking. And as I say at the time I was with somebody as well who was very, very negative overall, I would say. And so that amplifies that, that you're the problem. That was the bit then where your program made such a difference. And I call that out because I think we've said I'm very, very lucky to have had such a positive experience because of everything before that. But many people start life surrounded with that lack of support. Like you know, again, I was away from my family on my own. I separated, divorced my husband who had moved over from England with me and so very isolated in here. Luckily I'm outgoing, I do have people, but it's different. And so I think that that's where a lot of people are throughout a lot of their life and that's a really hard place to be.

[A]

Let's pause here. Have you spent your whole life being told your way is the wrong way? If you try to use systems designed for a neurotypical brain, of course you'll feel like you're failing. But here's the truth. You were never the problem. You just have a different brain, which means you need different systems. That is exactly why I created the A OK Academy. It's my six step patented framework designed to help you reconnect with your intuition and build systems based on your unique strengths. Let me help you reconnect with your intuition, trust yourself again and build a life that actually works for you. You've had the answers all along. I'll help you see them. Look, it's time to stop second guessing and start trusting yourself again. Find the link in the show notes to sign up or book a free discovery call. Now let's get back to it. So are you saying that first of all when you were diagnosed it sounds like you struggled with some grief after the diagnoses because. Was it because everything started to. You just started questioning everything and how things had turned out?

[B]

Yes. And I think you have that discovery at a time where a 20 year marriage has collapsed and you can, you know, you then look at your career in like. Well, I just, I just flip jobs every, you know, like I don't have a path. It's. It's so easy to flip that switch and just have that all negative self talk and Then if you're not, if that's amplified by having people around you who are not supportive or, you know, then it's really hard to turn that around. And that's one of the things I say to people all the time now as well, is if you're surrounded like that, you can't do it alone. You, this is why, again, connection is an authenticity. And that is so important because you off all of us even, even now, if I'm like, I got this, I got this. When you have a bad day, it's very easy. And if somebody else isn't there going, hey, just remember last week you did this, this, this, this, this. So just because you didn'. But it takes an awful lot of energy and intentionality to consciously keep on top of that for ourselves, I think. And so anytime you have other people who can play a role and help with that, life's a lot easier. A lot easier. And so that, that for me. So yes, things were, things were good. But then, yes, no, things were not good.

[A]

And do you think, Claire, that part of it was. Did you tell me you got diagnosed around age 50? Okay, so do you think part of it was the fact that we now know that estrogen modulates dopamine? So were your symptoms getting a lot worse or were there new symptoms that you hadn't had before?

[B]

No, I think the symptoms getting worse probably because I went through very, very early menopause. And then I think for the first time though too, you, you're juggling a lot. Like at that time I was doing full time mba, we had Covid, I was in a new relationship that proved to be not good for me. And even at work I was redeployed because I worked with Intellis Health and demand for virtual care went up. And so all of a sudden I was kind of taken out of my channel marketing role and asked to do lab requisitions. And so you were on shift on the phones, the call time, like completely different. So juggling that and teenage kids who themselves are going through their hormone changes or getting adjusted to their diagnosis and like going to university, that was a struggle. Like, so there was a lot that I think also was just trying to hold on to and hold together whilst trying to process this at the same time without really feeling. I mean, I have some wonderful friends and I need to call that out again. Like, I don't want to sound miserable, but I just think it was more challenging. And again, I think that's why I'm one of the reasons why I'm Very, very passionate now about connecting, being authentic so that we can be there for other people.

[A]

Yeah. And just being more of who you really are. But in order to do that, you have to know who you really are. Right. And I think for many of us with adhd, frankly, most of us with adhd, we don't really know because we've been following society's rules, kind of pushing back sometimes, you know, not pushing back and just doing the learned helplessness thing. But if you don't know who you really are, how are you supposed to know who you're supposed to become more of?

[B]

Right. Absolutely.

[A]

Because that's what makes us happy, being ourselves.

[B]

Absolutely, absolutely. And that was the thing where I think organically I'd been sort of managing to kind of self correct but very much subconsciously. And so that for me was again, the sort of big transformational piece from doing the program was that it took me back inside of myself. And that's one of the things that I would love to just call out is that what was different for me about your program versus sort of a lot of other things that I'd been part of or done is that it was inside out and not outside in. Right. So one thing that I'm a big fan of, the Myers Briggs and I look at that and look at what it means, but you look at that as one questionnaire at one point in time. And although it's multi dimensional, you become this thing. So I'm enfp.

[A]

Most of us are.

[B]

Right. So although we know there's different aspects to that, you just become this one thing and then you're trying to recognize yourself in that. Right. And so I want to call out Psychology Junkie. I get loads of her newsletters and that and find them really helpful of like, oh, okay, yeah, there's like understanding how I fit. What does that. How does that come to life for me when I'm scared? How does that come for life for me when I'm like, so. But you need that and it's not necessarily there and it's this one. Whereas we were building block by block based and. And making decisions, not being assessed by somebody else and just getting a result. Right. Doing that work for ourselves. So it made sense. Building on it so that all of the time it made sense. And then over a period of time, so you could stop and go, I just want to go back there. Did I do I still think the same. Like, I just want to go to. Back to that bit again. And you could do that. And the power of that, and then at the end, bringing it together into something which I still have on my wall today. That, again, is that reminder when we start to feel that, like, something. Okay, let me look at that. This I know, came from me. It's not somebody else judging me. I own it. And if at any point I really felt like it didn't, like, sure, then go and do the steps again or whatever. Right. Like, nothing stopping you. But I think that's extremely, extremely powerful.

[A]

Well, it's that identity work. Right. It's who are you really? And most of the time, we're put into a box. We're this Meyer Briggs, you know, we're this strong inventory type. And so then we're trying to fit our behaviors into this box of what we've been told versus with a. Okay, we're getting rid of that box. We're, you know, flattening all the walls. And it's all about who we are. And it starts internally.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's not who you were told you needed to become.

[B]

No. And I think that's one of the things, like, I really want to emphasize that even though you lead the program, it's not you telling us. Right. That that's the huge difference. And it's really funny, I'm just looking at my notes there because when I was writing it down the other day, I was like, trying to think. It's not like, I feel like if you're in cell a lot of programs, then you're on a tour bus, and you're just on the bus looking at whatever. Right. Like, and you get something out of it or whatever. And then often, like, if you're in books and doing it on your own, which I've done a lot of, I've got tons and tons of books, then it's kind of like, well, somebody just handed you a map and you got a backpack on, and you're just heading into the wilderness and good luck. Right. Like, you're just completely your own, trying to figure it out. And your program is like having a personal guide. Who goes, where do you want to go? What would you like to see? And you're like, oh, I'm really curious about. Right. Oh, let's what, you know, Would you like to ask me something about that? That for me, really kind of distills the difference in how the experience resonated with me, and I'm so grateful.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you. So you've talked a lot about all these different careers. Law, business, healthcare, aviation, fundraising, marketing. What through line do you now see that Maybe wasn't so obvious before.

[B]

Definitely my top value is connection and my desire with that sort of to leverage my empathy and do good, like service piece. A lot of the roles one way or another were very people oriented. I always say, you know, again, long before this I would say I'm a people person. And it's true, but I think it's more than just connecting. I'm not a sales person per se, I'm a people person. Right. And I want to lift others. And I really fundamentally believe we're all humans. And whether you're a CEO, you know, even at Telus, I would email the CEO and say I really liked your last. Because they don't always get that kind of authentic connection from people. They. People put them on a pedestal or whatever. Right. Or if you're a homeless person, then I will make sure I look you in the eye. I can't always help everybody or whatever, but I will see you. And so that for me, realizing that I want to use my passion, my, my connectivity to lift others and, and make a better world became the underlying purpose to my life. And that then has enabled me to. I started just, you know, trying to find the joy and doing some of my fluid art painting. I got some of it on my walls here. But it was then again a little bit happy accident, but leaning into the curiosity and allowing I think a lot more. Just trusting your intuition and gut, like realising that actually I have a lot of power in there. That it's not about conforming to the outside world, not about everybody else's vision of success or productivity. I'm gonna do me. And then with that came like happy accidents in painting that led to jewelry. The hyper focus of like, all I want to do is make jewelry while I listen to Cozy Cottage jazz on Spotify in an evening. And then I would be giving out and then you get that feeling of reward and then it became like using it. I. I remember being in London, drugs on Christmas Eve. And the woman in front of me was a visible minority and it was a young white girl who was serving. It was like 3:30 on Christmas Eve. The poor thing was probably exhausted. Was incredibly rude and dismissive without any awareness. I think without any. She just, you could say she was. And this is where again you're tapping into like, what's my reaction to this? And I got one of my pieces of jewelry out of my pocket because I started, you know, carrying it with. And went and found the woman afterwards in the store and said, I saw how you were treated. I'M really sorry that you had to have that. Doing more of that and seeing one, the impact and two, feeling the impact for the rest of the day of like, like oh, I just built my heart right. Like it's such a little thing. But like that's when it was like okay, this, this is living me. This is, this is what I need to do more of. And so then that's led to setting up Compassion Art Creations, doing that more intentionally and I think at first very much around again donating pieces to causes, donating portions of. I have a relationship with the BCS pca so everything from my animal oriented products or designs, I should say or pet memorial pieces, I'm donating to them. But then I also started getting into my poetry again. I'm like just like full into leaning into myself and being myself and finding the joy and I'd always written poetry and again at work would do you know, review of the year and things like that and then started going okay, well so how can I bring these things together? So that's where it led to journals and that which like I would take pictures of my art and then put my poetry with it and so very much then sort of into finding ways for people if somebody's having a bad day and that like sometimes you don't, like you don't want to give them flowers or you don't want to like sometimes it can be cliched or you just don't know what to say. Like somebody's lost their job. There isn't really a something. So then it kind of really morphed into finding way vehicles and, and ways to kind of give voice to a lot of this real life in the middle that isn't sort of social media life's perfect. We should all have a Mercedes on the driveway and a hat, right? Like, like you're not really realistic. But also the other side of that is often like catastrophizing. And you know how many we, we I see this sort of the, the Gen Z's and that very nihilistic like everything's terrible. The, you know, we can't get past climate change, the world, blah blah, blah. And I'm like there's actually a really big chunk in the middle. And this is, you know, I really passionately believe it's okay to say I'm having a bad day. And when I say that it doesn't mean I'm medication like antidepressants. I don't need a counselor necessarily. Maybe I just need a hug or like being British, just offer me a strong cup of tea. Just have a cup of tea, love, tell me what's wrong, you know, but that's back to that connection and care and humanity. It's hard in the world right now because I think we're very, very productivity focused. And I actually was reflecting on this too and was thinking that I think this makes it harder for people with ADHD because we've become very binary in lots of senses. So, you know, are you an Android or are you a iPhone user? Are you right? Like, are you on the left? Are you on the right? Like, everything's divisive in that sense. But also it's. Then, you know, are you with me or are you against me? Right. Everybody's sort of taking positions. And again, it's like, even in our ADHD world, are you medicated or you're not medicated? And again, I think going back, whether that's politically or in, in socioeconomic groups or whatever, we had so much and we have really, truly become polarized, but not just like how people think of it in sort of political opinion, but truly like the, the people who rich got richer. The other people feel many, many, many different ways, including apparently our use of technology. And whether you have the in thing or you don't have the in thing, you know, we've become very binary. And so that's me sort of pushing back. I think, think when I was thinking about it in the workplace and why this does us such a disservice when we're adhd, is that if, when we're rushing towards productivity so much these days as well, and everybody's like, well, we, we've all got to fix the problem again. It's very kind of fix the problem mindset. Look at the data, find the efficient inefficiency and like plow on.

[A]

We're not even looking at data over here anymore. We just make it up, up.

[B]

Well, yes, there is that, but even in all of that, there isn't room for nuance. We've lost all of that. And the problem then is for us, ADHDers are very good at just trying out something new or being, you know, it actually causes a problem. The one thing I was thinking, like, if you think of a crowded street and everybody's like, we gotta, you know, it's a big crowd, everybody's rushing. If you have somebody on ADHD and think of them as on a bicycle, actually the bicycle is way better. Like that's going to get you out of there faster and is a really good option. There's nothing wrong with that except for the fact that everybody else is just crowded and walking and you're bumping into them and you're the problem. Right. And so I, that's what I see in the world right now is that you have to fit into these groups which, whatever they are, and you're all kind of. And channeled and rushing in one direction and there's actually.

[A]

Well, and Claire, that is what is becoming people's identity instead of who they really are, which is their true identity.

[B]

Right, Absolutely. And any. And so then we all, you know, and again, some. Sometimes when I look at the world now, I feel like those with the ADHD are almost like the canary in the coal mine a little bit because I think these things are just amplified in our world and we react or respond maybe earlier or we see that faster, but it doesn't mean other people are not struggling with a lot of these things. And so I also agree that, you know, I was very excited to hear, you know, you're looking at things for. Or how many things relate to non ADHD people. Right. I think there's this huge benefit and, and that's certainly, again, a lot of what I'm doing. I've learned from everything that I've learned through me, but it's certainly not for me, a specific ADHD audience. I'm seeing the gap in the world for everybody of like. Yeah, you know, it's, it's okay to say this wasn't a great day, but I know tomorrow still could be right.

[A]

That optimism. Yeah, I completely hear you. Okay, so Claire, let's go back to this business that you started. Compassion Art Creations.

[B]

Passion Art. Yes. It's because the art.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what exactly are you doing there and what made you decide that. Okay, this is what I want to do. I want to link it to this pre tirement term because I find that fascinating.

[B]

Yeah. So again, very evolutionary, very much following my instinct. It's very much evolved as people have given me positive feedback. But I very much saw that there was this gap and that people responded to, to my jewelry and liked it. And so I just sort of went from there and very much so grounded in finding how I can help non profits, finding how I can speak. Mental health has been a huge thing, unfortunately dealt with more than, more than three people who have been suicidal or committed suicide and things. So again, that's that space for authenticity, space for showing compassion and care that doesn't, it doesn't have to be medical, it just needs to be that the hug or space for those feelings. That it's okay to have those feelings I think is really important. And so that's where it. I started into creating journals and cards and jewelry and even so these little pieces of jewelry behind me, they all have a little positive message on the back. And so this mostly magical is to live to the fullest, seek joy, connect, contribute and share to make a better world while accepting things can be imperfect. And so, you know, yes, it's just a pair of earrings, but trying to bring that space for feelings and authenticity into the world through what I do. So I was, I've been selling that directly and also going into gift stores if anyone's interested. I would love, you know, still, still early days. And then I've also been doing like custom corporate. So I did ornaments for the BCS PCA and I've done some custom work because again, I think there's so much more that you can do to bringing a brand to life than just sticking a logo on a water cup kind of a thing. So I, you know all about that kind of finding that middle ground, being a lot more authentic or really sort of open with, vulnerable with who we are. So that's where that is today. It's continuing to grow. I'm doing workshops, I'm partnering with more and more non profits. And also a lot of people responded to the Compassion art name and asked me about memorial products. And so that's a big part now as well is I can put the ashes into the paint and I have a couple of memorial.

[A]

Oh, I've never heard that. I mean, I've heard, you know, where you can, I don't know, you give ashes or you give hair and then it turns it into, you know, a diamond. What is that?

[B]

This is just, it's just paint. This is a pendant with my dog's ashes, Storm. So he was my beautiful shepherd and I lost him. So I chose to do mine with his colors and it reminded me of his fur sort of the texture things. But yeah, I have done human memorial pieces and it's based on somebody's favorite color or whatever. So there's various things that I'm doing in that space. And then that's also led me more into some of the sympathy gifts and sympathy cards and things too. And again, just helping create space for some of that in a, in a non trite way, just trying to be a little bit more authentic than that.

[A]

Where do we go like for these memorial gifts or these cards, compassionate creations.com.

[B]

Or cause and also for Anyone who has a small business, I'm on Faire as well. So you can get some of my products through Fair Platform, which is like a wholesale platform. Yeah. And then I'm doing consulting as well at the same time. And so I guess, you know, when you mentioned about pre tirement it again for me has been a big shift in saying I'm not going to go back into full time work. I was let go by Telus eventually with a lot of other people. You know, that's partly the economy right now, but you know, having been there just about 10 years, it's still hard. I went through their sponsored MBA, you know, you're a high performer, whatever. So again that, that was the tail end of this sort of tough period. But I'd already done your program by then and so decided I'm gonna double down on living my value. So I do marketing consulting and small business consulting very much in the pet world. And that enables me still to do partnerships with the BCS PCA or the Ontario SPCA or different people. And that fills my heart and really kind of is a great segue. Like they are distinct but there's, there's a good amount of overlap in terms of my energy and the connections that I make and both really, truly live my values. And it's been very important for me to not look at just going back into something that's going to pull the bank. And it's not easy. Everybody asks you, everybody and bless them, my mum and dad are really senior and so sometimes a bit forgetful. So they'll forget that they have asked you like, did you apply for a job yet? No, I'm not. Remember that. And so I know, I know it's not intended critically but sometimes again it's hard to counter that pressure that, well that's, you know, certainly as a single mom, still have a mortgage or whatever, that's absolutely what I should do. And it's like, no, I, I have a property, I have a suite, so I can rent my suite, I can get some money from consulting. And so again actually also satisfying my need for variety that has been maybe, you know, going after new things now I've got these new things, but they're all centered on what I want, driven by and I always say in compassionate creation, I'm collaborating with a few people now. If it's not joyful, we don't do it.

[A]

Like, I love that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like that you have basically taken a stand and said contribution and meaning matters more to me than titles or traditional success. Right.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And how does that feel?

[B]

Wonderful. Wonderful.

[A]

I love it. I love it.

[B]

Yeah. And I think just. Just the number of amazing encounters and the response from people. We ran a best humans of 2025 little campaign just before the holidays here, and I actually went to an event at the hot market at Christmas market at the hospital and was asking people to nominate. So basically, like, it's not humanitarian for a reason. It's just human because it's like, it doesn't have big, big things, but like. Like, who has made a difference in your life, who shows up? Or it could be for so many different things where. And. And again, this is to counter, like, all this negativity and polarization and the world can feel so heavy, but it's like, there's a lot of us that do see, like, there's lots of good going on every day. Let's celebrate and amplify that. I had people in tears. I had people in tears hugging me now, maybe because it was at the hospital too. But, like, I would ask them to nominate somebody, and then I would just give them a choice of a pendant or a key ring or whatever and say, you now get to give it to that person and tell them that you nominated them. And there was so much power in that. And then we celebrated those people online for all these different ways that. That they showed their humanity, because there's so many different ways. And then ask people and. And it's again, actually one of those things that Georgia, who's been phenomenal, Georgia. Janet, I've been collaborating with for a while. They. We had things coming up before Christmas, and we. We wanted to launch it like, on the 21st or the 22nd, like, and I'm like, remember, if it's not joyful, we're not doing it. So it didn't end up actually sort of launching online until I think it was like the. The 26th or the 27th. But we still did it, right? So again, those small wins focus on the positive. Was it perfect? Was as we had intended it to be? No, maybe not. But, oh, my goodness, did it create joy? Amazing. The impact. And that was just on the people who told us we weren't there necessarily to see the people that. The joy that was then created. So then you think of that ripple effect. And again, I just want. So it's like, yeah, that's what life's about, isn't it? That's what. That's what living is all about.

[A]

So for someone listening who might be where you were a few years ago, what do you Want them to understand.

[B]

About themselves that you are wonderful as you are. I have a poem, the Wonder of Me, and I'll have to maybe share it with you after. But if you think of in all of space and time, the fact that you even exist, right, Is incredible. Like, that you're here right now. All the things that had to happen in your past, all your ancestors had to survive. And for you to be like, that's enough. Right? That is enough. So I understand where productivity and things come from, but, like, I don't think there's a bumblebee getting up in the morning going, like, right, what's on the to do list today? And what must. Right. Like, when we think about it, it's kind of a bit bonkers. And I think it's very, very hard on people like that. It's. There's no surprise that we're seeing stress and burnout and loneliness and all these things, right? Because we're always trying to keep up and the pace is just faster and faster and faster because now we're seeing we have instant access. So it's like, oh, my goodness, like, that's the latest trend. I need to be there. I need to be doing this now. I should be right. And there's so many shins. No. And it's. It's not easy, but when you connect people and join the tribe that get that, it gets a lot easier. And I. That's a huge thing for me now is like, I tell people we're not supposed to do this alone. Like, we're not supposed to try and get through life alone. And I think there's a lot of, like, bravado of like, I'm a super mom. I, you know. You know, I can work and do everything, and I'm just like, throw that out the window. Like, the more that we can just show up and go, you know, I'm knackered today because I didn't sleep well last night on a work call, right? Like, just actually be authentic. There's so much power in that. There's so much power in that. Giving permission to other people and that everybody can then just like, oh, it's okay. It's okay that I'm not, like, on my game today and just like, putting the. The front on, it's like now. And the response I've had, like, so that. That. And I think at first you feel like it brave, and I think it is hard if you don't have good support. So the first thing is definitely finding that support because I think if you try and do it alone and then you fail. It makes it harder, right, to sort of give it a go again. But if you can build that support and give that a go, from my experience, the rewards are unbelievable. Unbelievable.

[A]

Do your kids notice? Oh, this change in you?

[B]

Good question. My daughter's at university. I think the fact that my daughter comes home from university a lot and includes me with her friends. So like if her friends are coming over, she's like, mum, will you join in the game of moose master or will you like, like says a lot, right? I think my relationship with my kids definitely shifted in dynamic once we were all realizing we're doing this together. And I think for me, seeing, you know, seeing that like the positive has to outweigh the negative, right? Like change my parenting there for a while. Like I got better at that kind of thing as well. Of like let the negative go but reinforce the positive and things. So I would hope so. And I have a really, really good relationship with my kids, but I definitely wouldn't want to speak for them. And I'm sure at times they're still like, mother, definitely the whole like inviting people in because I am such a people person. So I invite, you know, wildfire people to stay with us or when we were in Greece, we, there was somebody at a restaurant, I'd love to go to Canada. And I'm like, here's my card if you ever want to come. And both of my kids were like, I think they still have a little bit about that, of that about me. But I, I'm sure that they appreciate the fact that I am absolutely living my life and I know my family do right now as well because I was able to go, you know, I'm able to call my mum and dad every day now that they're older, like pretty much every day. I couldn't do that. I said a full time job. So one of my mantras that I've really leaned on in the last little while is I'm where I'm supposed to be. If I'm having that moment of doubt or whatever, you start overthinking like did it, I'm where I'm supposed to be. And there's been so many times now where like, oh, I should have remembered to do that today or whatever. And then next minute somebody called and says, can you run me to the hospital? And you're like, see, I'm where I'm supposed to be. Because if I'd gone, right? So that's very powerful for me. And I think that Makes a big difference that they, my kids, and, you know, my family see me showing up.

[A]

I think the fact that your kids want to spend time with you says it all. Right. They want to include you with their friends.

[B]

That's all you need to know. Daughter more than son at the minute, but she's older, but that's fine. They still get to be teenagers. They still young adults. Yeah.

[A]

So what would you say is your number one ADHD workaround, Claire?

[B]

I think it's always been lists and then that become, as we moved into the digital age, alarms. And, you know, I've heard it so many times before. Yeah. If you looked at mine, there's probably 25 alarms in there that I use on a regular basis for different things. So I think that's. But I think some of these mantras and that have also become. And I've been more intentional. I think that's the other thing I think I've wondered through a lot. There's now more where I look for the hack. I'm like, somebody must have figured this out. Like, how can I get help, Some body doubling and things like that that I'm aware of. I have always been somebody. I realize that. Like, races the kettle to do the dishwasher. So, like, doing the dishwasher is something loading or unloading. It's something I.

[A]

What does races the kettle mean?

[B]

So I'll put the kettle on to make a drink, and then I will race the kettle. I will do the dishwasher. Oh, yes, yes, the kettle boils.

[A]

Yes, I do that, too.

[B]

Something in the microwave. I have always done that, but it's only now that I'm like, oh, that's why.

[A]

That's why.

[B]

So now I do that kind of thing way more intentionally. And the breaking things down, that micro process one. Another big mantra for me, which I'm happy to share, I feel like everyone should do, is, well, it's better. It's better than it was. Because you kind of have these like, oh, progress over perfection, or imperfectly perfect, but they actually have an inherently negative element still in them. So if you just drop that and go, well, well, it's better. That feels good. I'm telling you. Because again, when I just do the mirror, say, in the bathroom, and the toilet still needs cleaning, or the shower needs, you know, or like, I'm just. It won't go well. It's better. It's better than it was. I've done something. It's forward movement. And that little mantra is really, really powerful. So that's definitely One of my little.

[A]

I love that. I love that. And it's because it's not, it's not big. Right, Right. It's just little.

[B]

But it's still successful and we forget that there's anything lacking in it. It's just progress.

[A]

Right. It's better. I love that.

[B]

Better than it was. I love.

[A]

It's better. One last question and then I'm going to ask you to tell everyone where they can find you. But before that, if someone is listening and they are thinking, hmm, maybe I should look into this. Your ADHD brain is a okay program. What would you recommend? What would you tell people?

[B]

Them you'll never regret. Could be literally life transforming and not from an outside in, but it will reconnect you with your five year old self. So you can. And sometimes I have that almost as a visual, like holding hands with myself. Right. When you feel those moments, that's. Yeah, like, absolutely. If there's. It's one thing. And I'll always be that person vouching for you, Tracy. Like, like, just to be clear, this is not. Like, this is from my heart because that's the kind of impact that you had. And I say, and I say that from having done so many, having got all the, you know, Renee Brown books and big Robin Sharma fan and da, da, da, da. But and I want to call out, Serge Maserandi is a friend of mine. His book as well, 7 Habits. Fantastic. But you are right up there in having made such a meaningful change to my life. I'm making sense of me.

[A]

Yeah. Understanding yourself. Right. It's just all about awareness, why we do what we do.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's very freeing.

[A]

Finally, where can people find you if they want to know more about you? They want to see some of the things that you do. Maybe they want to be, I don't know, they want to buy one of the memorial gifts like, you know me.

[B]

Yes, that'd be oven. So compassionartcreations ca or compassionartcreations.com both will take you to the same place. And it is compassion art. So because of everything that is bringing my compassion to life in the creative sense. So I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook and on LinkedIn as well and have a page there. So I'm all about collaboration. I'm clearly all about meeting people. So anybody that just wants to have a chat about anything and check out which languages I do on Duolingo, I'm happy to connect on there and try out my Ukrainian too.

[A]

Oh my gosh. Ukrainian. Well, I'm even more impressed. Claire, thank you so much for spending time with us here today and just. Just sharing your heart and connecting.

[B]

Right? Oh, thank you. It's been a gift, absolute gift. And yeah, thank you for the opportunity and thank you for all that you're doing for everybody else out there in the broader sense.

[A]

Thank you, Claire. So that's what I have for you for this week. If you liked this episode with Claire, please let us know by leaving a review. You know what our goal is, right? We want to change the conversation around ADHD and help as many women as we possibly can learn how their ADHD brains work so that they too may discover their amazing strengths. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you here next week. You've been listening to the ADHD for Smartass Women podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Otsuka. Join us at adhd for smart women.com where you can find more information on my new book, ADHD for Smartass Women. And my patented you'd ADHD brain is a okay system to help you get unstuck and fall in love with your brilliant brain. Let's pause here. Have you spent your whole life being told your way is the wrong way? If you try to use systems designed for a neurotypical brain, of course you'll feel like you're failing. But here's the truth. You were never the problem. You just have a different brain, which means you need different systems. That is exactly why I created the A OK Academy. It's my six step patented framework designed to help you reconnect with your intuition and build systems based on your unique strengths. Let me help you reconnect with your intuition, trust yourself again, and build a life that actually works for you. You've had the answers all along. I'll help you see them. Look, it's time to stop second guessing and start trusting yourself again. Find the link in the show notes to sign up or book a free discovery call. Now let's get back to it.