ADHD reWired Ep. 543: Overcoming Burnout – Personal Reflections
Host: Eric Tivers, LCSW, ADHD-CCSP
Date: November 9, 2024
Episode Overview
In this premiere of ADHD reWired’s “season two,” host Eric Tivers returns from a much-needed break to deliver a deeply personal solo episode exploring burnout, especially through the lens of living and working with ADHD. Eric reflects on his own experience, discusses the signs and recovery from burnout, and shares plans for a more sustainable future both for the podcast and his coaching programs.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Understanding Burnout (03:20 - 11:25)
-
The Definition of Burnout:
Eric breaks burnout into three main areas:- Emotional Exhaustion:
- Goes beyond typical tiredness — a sense of depletion that sleep or weekends don’t fix.
- “It’s a deep seated fatigue that impacts your ability to engage with life fully.” (05:20)
- Eric shares how his emotional exhaustion became an “ever present, always there” feeling, which he tried to ignore for too long.
- Depersonalization/Cynicism:
- Detachment from work and people, growing negativity, resistance to tasks that were once enjoyable.
- “There are so many things in my work with ADHD Rewired that I do truly love … I was having so much resistance ... lacking that sort of energy and vitality.” (07:07)
- Reduced Personal Accomplishment:
- Feeling ineffective and unsatisfied, even when putting in effort; productivity plummets and you become indifferent.
- “Not only was my productivity kind of plummeting, I was kind of indifferent to it.” (09:54)
- Emotional Exhaustion:
-
Diagnosing Burnout vs. Other Conditions:
- Burnout’s symptoms overlap with depression and anxiety, but are rooted in chronic stress and workplace factors.
- Therapists can help differentiate and assess these patterns.
Eric’s Personal Burnout Journey (11:26 - 25:35)
- Timeline of Burnout:
- Burnout’s roots started in early 2020, even before the pandemic, tied with impending divorce, business stress, and emotional burdens.
- Eric consciously “pushed down” the signs because “this is not a good time to be burnt out.”
- Metaphor: “It felt like I kept scarring over burnout scars ... you kind of start to feel numb.” (15:42)
- Failed Recharge:
- Vacation trips (e.g., seeing Phish in Mexico) didn’t restore him due to other complications and diminished emotional capacity.
- Impact of Complex PTSD:
- Eric has been undergoing EMDR therapy for over a year, which intersected with his burnout.
- “Even though I have the ability to be emotionally sort of present and hold space, I didn’t have the capacity.” (18:55)
Rediscovering the Need for Solitude (25:36 - 33:50)
- Key Turning Point:
- Solo motorcycle trip to see Phish in Indiana provided deep mental spaciousness.
- “I had this moment where it was this strange yet vaguely familiar feeling … of just layers and layers of stress kind of melting away.” (28:08)
- Realized he needs significant “introvert time” to recharge and function.
- New Routines:
- Eric now protects alone time, is more selective with professional and personal commitments, and “manages energy, not just time.” (32:02)
- “Protecting my alone time is critical. And it’s been a critical part of coming out of this long period of burnout.” (32:22)
Rethinking Work, Coaching & Sustainability (33:51 - 42:20)
- Shifting Work Structure:
- Moving away from back-to-back coaching group seasons, adding more space between them for sustainability.
- “At this point right now in my life, it has just proven to be unsustainable.” (36:09)
- Realizations About Success:
- Questioning the pursuit of “more” for its own sake vs. living sustainably.
- “If the bottom line is the only focus, I’m focusing on the wrong things.” (38:04)
- “This hustle to constantly doing more … I am reevaluating that big time. And that’s a pretty significant shift for me. There is more to life than making money.” (40:18)
Upcoming Changes & Community Announcements (42:21 - End)
- Planning for the Future:
- Next season of coaching groups will likely be January or February; focus now is on current community and quality.
- Yearly Planning Workshops for Adult Study Hall Members:
- Five weekly sessions on planning your year, focusing on values, goals, and all domains of life.
- “Our yearly planning sessions are extremely popular because they are effective.” (45:05)
- Sessions included with Adult Study Hall membership; new annual plan option introduced.
- Podcast Format Changes:
- Potential for more solo episodes; regular episodes may return on an every-other-week schedule.
- Engagement Opportunities:
- Encourages listeners to join the community, leave podcast reviews, participate in live Q&As, and reach out at the upcoming International ADHD Conference (where Eric will be presenting and performing).
Notable Quotes
- “I think we often hear this phrase kind of thrown around: ‘I’m so burnt out.’ But understanding what burnout is, is really important.”
— Eric Tivers (03:12) - “I realized that I … kept scarring over burnout scars, right? So you re-scar the same thing over and over again. You kind of start to feel numb.”
— Eric Tivers (15:42) - “That ride home really crystallized something vital for me: that realization of how much more introverting time I genuinely need.”
— Eric Tivers (29:25) - “You can’t really manage time; you can only manage energy. And that has never really resonated more true for me than it has recently.”
— Eric Tivers (32:02) - “If the bottom line is the only focus, I’m focusing on the wrong things.”
— Eric Tivers (38:04)
Important Timestamps
- Definition & Components of Burnout: 03:20 – 11:25
- Personal Story: Recognizing Burnout: 11:26 – 25:35
- Motorcycle Trip & Recharge Insights: 25:36 – 33:50
- Changing Pace & Sustainability: 33:51 – 42:20
- Announcements: Yearly Planning, Adult Study Hall: 42:21 – 50:15
- Closing Thoughts & Upcoming Events: 50:16 – End
Tone and Style
Eric’s approach is candid, self-reflective, warm, and encouraging. He models vulnerability around mental health while offering practical frameworks and lived experience. His language is conversational, peppered with analogies and metaphors that make complex topics relatable for adults navigating ADHD.
Summary Takeaway
This episode is a raw, honest look into what burnout feels like for someone with ADHD and underscores the importance of understanding, acknowledging, and compassionately addressing the realities of chronic exhaustion. Eric’s experience offers validation and actionable wisdom—making space for rest, rethinking “hustle culture,” and prioritizing both time alone and community connection as central to living well and sustainably with ADHD.