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ADHD reWired
544 ADHD at 80 Miles an Hour
00:25:43
Eric Tivers continues to reflect on his journey of overcoming burnout and seeking solutions for long-term sustainable energy management. ADHD at 80 MPH is a nod to the last episode recorded in the car about 9 years ago. Episode 47 called . Recording...
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Adhd Rewired Episode 544 Since 2014, this has been the podcast for ADHD adults who have really good intentions and a slightly wandering attention. I'm Eric Tivers. I'm a licensed clinical social worker by training and a coach by design. I'm your host and I have adhd. ADHD Rewired is more than just a podcast. You can learn about our coaching and accountability groups, our our virtual coworking community, and more, all@adhd Rewired.com we are wired for connection and you are not alone. Learn more about our offerings, including our monthly live Q&As. Get additional resources for every episode, including links to any resources we mention on today's show. You can support us on Patreon, sign up for our email newsletter and more, all@adhd Rewired.com and if this is your first time listening, welcome. Don't forget to hit, subscribe or follow on your podcast app so you never miss an episode. We know that starting is the hardest part, so let's get started. Hey everyone, before we get started with today's episode, if you've been wondering when you could start registering for our winter coaching and accountability groups, you can do that now. Head on over to coachingrewired.com to get your name on that interest list. But don't wait, especially if you want to lock in Early Bird Pricing group starts on January 30th. We'll have more info about our coaching groups at the end of today's show. All right, buckle up because we are taking a little road trip together.
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All right, welcome back to another episode of ADHD Rewired. So I'm in the car. I think last time I recorded an episode in the car was about nine years ago. It was episode 47. Call ADHD at 55 miles an hour. I guess we can call this one ADHD at 80 miles an hour because that's how fast I'm going right now. So I am just coming back from an Airbnb. I took four days and just to introvert to reflect. My hope was that I was going to come back and have a really clear vision about the year ahead and I definitely laid some foundation. I did not get everything I was hoping to probably needed another day because when I was there I worked Thursday and Friday while I was there and just thinking that a change of scenery would help with the recharge. Maybe it did a little bit but really I probably needed another day or two as I am really working hard on trying to learn better strategies for sustainability of my energy. It's something that I'm going to be exploring how to take breaks that are really powerfully restorative. So yeah, so I got this little Airbnb. Essentially it was a haunted mansion out in Watseka, Illinois. It was like two hours south of where I live. It was nice when I got there though. The owner had forgotten to turn the heat up before I arrived and it was like super cold and windy. So that was miserable. But I guess it was all part of the adventure. Yes. I did some reflection. I can. I was working on my yearly planning. I do think I'm close to a theme for my year and it's the word that I'm going with right now. I'm not sure if I fully landed on it, but it's something around like sustainability as I'm thinking about my energy in such a more kind of long tail approach or long time horizon because it can't just be daily or weekly energy. I'm really trying to think about this more months and years because these last 10 years I've pushed so hard for so long and as you heard on my last episode that I put out that I just, I got so, so burnt out. So I'm. I am trying to balance like what the needs of the business are, what my needs are. And I'm trying to slow things down and figure out, all right, how do I do that and also have a sustainable business that pays the bills. And so I'm not worried about my, the finances because I really, I really hate when I get myself into that situation, which I did earlier in the year. So what else? I. We just finished our fall coaching season and we had a such an amazing group, much so that there was even discussion about having this group just do the group again. It was a really wonderful group. Everyone who was in there was just so committed and supportive of each other and really pushed themselves and it really showed up and it made really having groups like that just make this, the work that I do, really enjoyable. And I've said this before, it's like when you have adhd, when you're neurodivergent, you have to do work that you love. Not doing a work that you love just makes everything so much harder. And so part of that for me is also really seeing the nuances of the parts of the work that both I love and the parts of the work that I find draining. One of the things that I've come to terms with is that I think building a larger organization that had been my goal for quite some time. I think that it may be more energy depleting for me than it was rewarding. And it's hard to say too, because it was definitely rewarding when, during, especially during COVID when we were filling up, we had five groups. And then when the world opened back up and it would get harder to fill the groups for a lot of different reasons that I've talked about in the past. It just, it became frustrating because I, I love doing the coaching work and I. I don't know, I used to love doing the. All the marketing for it. I think part of it is just wearing too many hats for too long. It hurts my head. It made me think of that, that Shel Silverstein poem, I think in where the Sidewalk Ends, where on one side of the page is the man with 31 hats, then the other side of the page is the man with 31 heads. Felt like the man with 31 hats. And I think after a while it just hurts your head when you are trying to juggle so much. It's. I know that admin type of tasks are not and never will be my strength. And it's not even a goal of mine to make them my strength. Like, I want to be able to have them be well enough. So I'm taking care of the things that need to get taken care of. And so right now I'm in this period where I'm like, do I. Do I want to actually hire another assistant? There's definitely part of me that really feels like I need to. And there's another part of me knows that like that the managing of other people, like, it's. I don't know, at least at this moment right now, I'm just realizing. And part of this is realizing that I'm also autistic, not just adhd. Like, I think that is part of what has been hard. And maybe as I accept and understand and embrace that more, integrate that into kind of who I am, it'll help me come up with other strategies that will make some of the things that I found so challenging a bit easier. I guess I'll have to see about that. You know, it's. I'm definitely in this state of. Of transition and I feel like I have been for a bit. But I will say this, that it's funny, on my way down to this, the Airbnb, I was actually had a therapy appointment and that's why. Which is a phone call while I was driving and I sort of caught myself saying something to my therapist that I honestly have not said it in a long time. And it was. It felt very genuine. And I said, I actually feel right now that I'm in a good place. And, like, the moment that came out of my mouth, I just, like, paused and I was like, oh, shit. Like, I. I do. I am feeling okay. You know, I don't have a complete clarity of vision, but I feel like I am headed in the right direction. I have to merge here, and I don't want to die. So hold on. Will this car let me in? Okay, don't hit me. Truck. Wow, that was a fun merge. Okay, and we're back. Now I'm gonna go around this truck. I had no traffic, and all of a sudden there just got traffic because I'm getting closer to the Chicago area. So where was I? Oh, yeah. So, yeah, I definitely feel like the sort of the fire and smoke from the burnout has sizzled. Is that the right word? Sizzled? I don't think so. Dissipated. Re. Words? Yeah, I don't know. It's out. The fire is. The burnout is out. Does that mean I've rekindled my fire? Okay, What I'm trying to say is that I feel the heaviness of the burnout. I don't feel anymore. So, like, I. I'm feeling optimistic. And it's. It has been a hell of a year, really hell of a year and a half, and if I'm being super honest, a hell of a decade since 2020. But I really feel like I. I know the things that I need to be doing as far as, like in. In theory now it's about making it happen. It's about setting up my schedule, looking at my finances, all those things that I gotta be able to do to manage a business. And with as I've been talking a bit about the discovery of being an Audi hd er, I have actually, I've started the process. I'm getting an evaluation, and I've already done a bunch of the intake paperwork because I. While I've been owning this realization, and I think I mentioned it on a Q and A that I don't think has come out yet, but it was right after the Chad conference that this realization when I was hanging out with a bunch of other Audi H tiers, and this whole kind of year, year and a half, I've been exploring autism. Is it. Can it maybe, I don't know, going back and forth, and then it was really hanging out very intentionally with a bunch of other Audi HDRs. To me, I felt like these are absolutely My people, there's a certain. It's similar to that, like being with other ADHDers and you're like, oh, it feels amazing. And then it's just a bit more nuanced. So, yeah, so for me, I guess it's just the formality of getting the evaluation. I found this company that does them online at a fairly reasonable ish price and they take my insurance. So I think like the full cost of it was like 950. But they do take my insurance. It's called Prosper Health, I think. So I'm not necessarily recommending it yet because I haven't actually gone through the process, but I have started the process. So that will certainly be something that I will be talking about in the year ahead. Let's see what else. So I know that my last episode, which was like a month ago, because it was. I think I put it out right before the Chad conference. I at that time said, all right, I'm gonna come back to an every other week pace on the podcast that every other week has come and it has gone. And I'm actually right now still exploring, like, what is my stuck around it. And I think part of it is the hesitancy to hire a person for it to be to edit the podcast. I've been looking at assistance for from people over in the Philippines because that's apparently a big area for virtual assistants. And I don't know, I'm just kind of. I'm waffling. I'm a little indecisive about it. And part of it is I don't know if I want to start shifting my focus a little bit to audihd. I think that once I get the evaluation and if I get confirmation, I think that I'll feel more confident doing that. So I guess the time will tell. Because, look, I do love having the conversations. I do love getting to share insights and stories with you and helping other adhders share their stories and their experiences. It really is something I enjoy. It's all like the. Those administrative parts of the whole process from after an episode is done, then you got to export that file and then up and drag it over to a Dropbox folder. So it's like I just find those kinds of tax tack taxes tasks super aversive. I think the fact that I'm also like, have listened so much more to my energy and my body and like just being okay. I keep thinking about this idea that, like, I was so driven and committed to weekly episodes every single week, and.
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I did that for 10 years you.
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Know, I think about, oh, it's been a month since I put out an episode. You know what, that's okay. I. I did 10 years of weekly episodes and I'm in this state of transition and I'm exploring my next options. And I do still want to be putting out regular episodes. And I'll even say here, I'm going to try to do it every other week. Will I do that right now? I'd say maybe. I'm not sure though. What I do know is that I will continue to share this process with you and where I'm at as much as I can. I. I think that for a while it was hard for me to really communicate where I was headed because I really didn't know. And that happens to all of us in life that we go through these periods where everything makes sense, we're figuring stuff out, and then things change, whether internally or externally, and it's okay to have to take some time and to not be able. Not have it all figured out right away. I never claimed anyways that I have all my shit figured out. I mean, I always communicated that to my group members to make sure they were really clear that I don't have all my shit figured out because, you know, I'm neurodivergent and I do a lot of shit, I think pretty well. And the stuff that I still struggle with really immensely. So I'm not beating myself up over that. I think that feeling though, of optimism, that's. I think that's the newest sort of where I'm at right now is that I'm just feeling a sense of hope that I am going to identify that path forward in a bigger picture, as well as the strategic stuff from when I'm going to be launching the next group, which I think will be soon. I know that I don't know, I'm not even going to say anything right now. I'm going to, once I get back to my office on Monday, because I'm recording this on a Sunday, I'm going to sit down and hopefully possibly in the release of this, this episode, there will be an announcement.
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Okay. Now that I'm off the road and at my desk, I have an announcement for you regarding our first coaching group for 2025, which will be our 39th season. Winter sessions are here and I am thrilled to share all the details with you. So this season we've fine tuned the format just like last season. Our group sessions are going to now be eight weeks long. This really is the ideal balance for focus Growth and real results. Plus, you'll have access to all of our yearly planning sessions on demand. The winter session runs from January 30 through March 27, with sessions held Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays at 10am Pacific, 1 Eastern. So how do you know if this group is right for you? During our last coaching session of every season, we invite members to share their stories of growth, resilience and transformation. Here is a glimpse into that journey. One member who was talking about discovering strength in vulnerability was really saying that even just the first day was really a revelation. We had one member who didn't want their voice used, but said that seeing how everyone functioned similarly to me, the patience, the understanding, it felt like entering another world. I've never felt this kind of safety before. And it was this shared understanding that became the foundation for so many breakthroughs. We had members like Jessica who decided to join the group because she was.
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Really, really stuck in trying to write my dissertation. I was piddling away my days and I realized I needed some accountability and some change. One of the things I realized was the kind of the freedom within structure and the time tracking was really helpful in finding a system that worked for me on that having the accountability groups to be able to report on your top threes and your weekly one things was really helpful. And wanting to show up to be supportive of my teammates and also to keep the commitments that I had made both to myself and to them. And having the little reminders throughout the day the moments that were most meaningful one was the seeing the camaraderie in the large group when emotions that would come up and the outpouring of support whenever somebody was having a tough time. And then in the A teams, the smaller groups being able to really get to know each other and help one another, ask the questions that helped us get to the roots of certain particular issues that we were trying to work through that was really, really helpful. When I was looking at the schedule of what the things that we were learning, it's like, oh, I know how to make a to do list. Oh, I know how to plan my week out and realizing that yeah, I had a foundation. But the skills that we learned here that were particularly good for ADHD brains really took it to the next level.
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And then there were members like Aaron who shared some similar insights, reflecting on how the group helped him to reshape his inner narrative.
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I did to join the group because I was feeling really overwhelmed with just the things I had to do in my life and I was feeling really frustrated and I Think that there was a sense of fear that, like, I couldn't change or that my situation couldn't improve. But now that I'm looking back on it, it's like, I joined the group, so that doesn't really fully line up. And I think that shows kind of how the group has kind of helped give me awareness to the story I tell myself. Like, even yesterday I was down and I, like, I know the negative thoughts in my head, and I was like, wait. Like, just because I'm having those thoughts doesn't mean they're true. It doesn't mean I have to accept them. And I think that that really helped me just kind of be able to move on and do the things I actually did want to do. And I don't think I expected how important accountability would be or how much it would help me. Like, it was surprising how much easier and more effective it made things. And I think that'll be a game changer moving forward. And I think seeing how everyone ADHD manifested really helped me be kinder to myself. And since it feels like, oh, because I'm not dealing with some huge momentous issue, I shouldn't be getting overwhelmed. But the not shoulding all over myself is also a huge takeaway.
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And these experiences in these eight weeks were not uncommon. Like Dima, who decided to join the.
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Group because of overwhelm lack of initiation, I made so many to do lists, had so much on my plate and would burn out either trying to do it or not be able to get off the couch and start any of it. Had emotional ups and downs and was really beating myself up. And in joining the group, I discovered where a lot of that comes from and just how many others in the group also struggle with these things. I learned that prioritizing and being purposeful with my mornings when I have the most exact executive function is key to actually getting things done and not kicking myself when it's the end of the day and I'm exhausted and I have no motivation to do anything. My team helped me realize that obviously I don't have any motivation. I'm drained because I did the things before the group. I had a lot of rejection sensitivity, especially before I joined this group over the last few months where it was hard for me to even pick up the phone and text friends and make social plans. I knew I needed to reach out to my network and really get into gear in terms of searching for a job, but I had just so much resistance to it and was facing a lot of that overwhelm. So I'm really proud of myself and with the outcomes of the group because going to adult study hall and doing the body doubling and committing to these priorities to do the outreach and sharing how I felt about it and getting the support really helped motivate me and kind of break down some of those fears that I had. Yeah, I'm really proud. Over the course of these two months I was able to reconnect with friends, reach out to a lot of recruiters, conduct informational interviews and gotten into the habit and cadence of doing this and planning my week so that it's more of a habit and a muscle muscle that I'm building and I'm really encouraged for future and continuing to practice this. I realized just how much more compassion I have for myself and more acceptance for adhd. I realized just how far I've come.
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And like the over 1200 alumni who have been through this program over the last 10 years, I can't wait for you to see how far you you can go. To join, go to coachingrewired.com Add your name to the interest list, then watch the pre registration video, complete the quiz and submit your 45 second intro video where you will answer five questions that we provide for you. We're offering an early bird discount rate of only $12.99 if you sign up at our first registration event on Friday, January January 3rd at 11am Pacific 2pm Eastern. Register at the registration events on January 8th or 9th and the rate will be 14.99. After that it will be 15.99. Ready to take that first step? Go to coachingrewired.com and if you can't make our live registration events, no problem. Let me know when you submit your video and all your pre registration materials and we will set something up to make sure you don't miss out. Our live registration events are happening on Friday, January 3rd at 11:00am Pacific 2:00pm Eastern, then Wednesday, January 8th at 12:00pm Pacific 3:00pm Eastern and Thursday, January 9th at 10:00am Pacific 1:00pm Eastern. Missed those dates. Head on over to coachingrewired.com to check availability and to see other ways to register. And with flexible three and six month payment plans, this is an ideal opportunity to invest in yourself. Space is limited so don't wait. Start your 2025 journey today at coaching Rewired.com if you are not on our email list then you maybe missed that we offered our five part series where we walk you through the whole process of planning your year. We offer this in our Adult Study hall membership community. It's not too late to plan your year with us. We have this now on demand. The recordings of those sessions are available inside the Adult Study hall membership community. So come cowork with us, get your year planned and then body double with us as you do the things that you plan to do in that yearly planning. Go to adultstudyhall.com to sign up. And finally, in the spirit of rest and recharging time, this coming week's Patreon Monthly Coaching Call and our monthly Pomodoro Dance Party. We're going to be taking off this week, but we will return to those in January when you can join us for our monthly coaching call on Patreon on January 28th, which is a Tuesday at 3:30pm Central. And we will be doing our monthly Pomodoro dance party on January 24th at 1 1pm Central. The monthly coaching call for our patrons is for patrons who give it $25 a month or more and you can learn more about that at the website or go to ADHD Rewired.com Patreon or patreon.com ADHD Rewired. I think they both get you there. And our Pomodoro Dance Party is for members of our Adele Study hall community and for our alumni and coaching communities. And you can learn more about those at the website adhd rewired.com all right, that's all for this time and we will catch you next time. Thanks for listening.