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Adhd Rewired Episode 544 Since 2014, this has been the podcast for ADHD adults who have really good intentions and a slightly wandering attention. I'm Eric Tivers. I'm a licensed clinical social worker by training and a coach by design. I'm your host and I have adhd. ADHD Rewired is more than just a podcast. You can learn about our coaching and accountability groups, our our virtual coworking community, and more, all@adhd Rewired.com we are wired for connection and you are not alone. Learn more about our offerings, including our monthly live Q&As. Get additional resources for every episode, including links to any resources we mention on today's show. You can support us on Patreon, sign up for our email newsletter and more, all@adhd Rewired.com and if this is your first time listening, welcome. Don't forget to hit, subscribe or follow on your podcast app so you never miss an episode. We know that starting is the hardest part, so let's get started. Hey everyone, before we get started with today's episode, if you've been wondering when you could start registering for our winter coaching and accountability groups, you can do that now. Head on over to coachingrewired.com to get your name on that interest list. But don't wait, especially if you want to lock in Early Bird Pricing group starts on January 30th. We'll have more info about our coaching groups at the end of today's show. All right, buckle up because we are taking a little road trip together.

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All right, welcome back to another episode of ADHD Rewired. So I'm in the car. I think last time I recorded an episode in the car was about nine years ago. It was episode 47. Call ADHD at 55 miles an hour. I guess we can call this one ADHD at 80 miles an hour because that's how fast I'm going right now. So I am just coming back from an Airbnb. I took four days and just to introvert to reflect. My hope was that I was going to come back and have a really clear vision about the year ahead and I definitely laid some foundation. I did not get everything I was hoping to probably needed another day because when I was there I worked Thursday and Friday while I was there and just thinking that a change of scenery would help with the recharge. Maybe it did a little bit but really I probably needed another day or two as I am really working hard on trying to learn better strategies for sustainability of my energy. It's something that I'm going to be exploring how to take breaks that are really powerfully restorative. So yeah, so I got this little Airbnb. Essentially it was a haunted mansion out in Watseka, Illinois. It was like two hours south of where I live. It was nice when I got there though. The owner had forgotten to turn the heat up before I arrived and it was like super cold and windy. So that was miserable. But I guess it was all part of the adventure. Yes. I did some reflection. I can. I was working on my yearly planning. I do think I'm close to a theme for my year and it's the word that I'm going with right now. I'm not sure if I fully landed on it, but it's something around like sustainability as I'm thinking about my energy in such a more kind of long tail approach or long time horizon because it can't just be daily or weekly energy. I'm really trying to think about this more months and years because these last 10 years I've pushed so hard for so long and as you heard on my last episode that I put out that I just, I got so, so burnt out. So I'm. I am trying to balance like what the needs of the business are, what my needs are. And I'm trying to slow things down and figure out, all right, how do I do that and also have a sustainable business that pays the bills. And so I'm not worried about my, the finances because I really, I really hate when I get myself into that situation, which I did earlier in the year. So what else? I. We just finished our fall coaching season and we had a such an amazing group, much so that there was even discussion about having this group just do the group again. It was a really wonderful group. Everyone who was in there was just so committed and supportive of each other and really pushed themselves and it really showed up and it made really having groups like that just make this, the work that I do, really enjoyable. And I've said this before, it's like when you have adhd, when you're neurodivergent, you have to do work that you love. Not doing a work that you love just makes everything so much harder. And so part of that for me is also really seeing the nuances of the parts of the work that both I love and the parts of the work that I find draining. One of the things that I've come to terms with is that I think building a larger organization that had been my goal for quite some time. I think that it may be more energy depleting for me than it was rewarding. And it's hard to say too, because it was definitely rewarding when, during, especially during COVID when we were filling up, we had five groups. And then when the world opened back up and it would get harder to fill the groups for a lot of different reasons that I've talked about in the past. It just, it became frustrating because I, I love doing the coaching work and I. I don't know, I used to love doing the. All the marketing for it. I think part of it is just wearing too many hats for too long. It hurts my head. It made me think of that, that Shel Silverstein poem, I think in where the Sidewalk Ends, where on one side of the page is the man with 31 hats, then the other side of the page is the man with 31 heads. Felt like the man with 31 hats. And I think after a while it just hurts your head when you are trying to juggle so much. It's. I know that admin type of tasks are not and never will be my strength. And it's not even a goal of mine to make them my strength. Like, I want to be able to have them be well enough. So I'm taking care of the things that need to get taken care of. And so right now I'm in this period where I'm like, do I. Do I want to actually hire another assistant? There's definitely part of me that really feels like I need to. And there's another part of me knows that like that the managing of other people, like, it's. I don't know, at least at this moment right now, I'm just realizing. And part of this is realizing that I'm also autistic, not just adhd. Like, I think that is part of what has been hard. And maybe as I accept and understand and embrace that more, integrate that into kind of who I am, it'll help me come up with other strategies that will make some of the things that I found so challenging a bit easier. I guess I'll have to see about that. You know, it's. I'm definitely in this state of. Of transition and I feel like I have been for a bit. But I will say this, that it's funny, on my way down to this, the Airbnb, I was actually had a therapy appointment and that's why. Which is a phone call while I was driving and I sort of caught myself saying something to my therapist that I honestly have not said it in a long time. And it was. It felt very genuine. And I said, I actually feel right now that I'm in a good place. And, like, the moment that came out of my mouth, I just, like, paused and I was like, oh, shit. Like, I. I do. I am feeling okay. You know, I don't have a complete clarity of vision, but I feel like I am headed in the right direction. I have to merge here, and I don't want to die. So hold on. Will this car let me in? Okay, don't hit me. Truck. Wow, that was a fun merge. Okay, and we're back. Now I'm gonna go around this truck. I had no traffic, and all of a sudden there just got traffic because I'm getting closer to the Chicago area. So where was I? Oh, yeah. So, yeah, I definitely feel like the sort of the fire and smoke from the burnout has sizzled. Is that the right word? Sizzled? I don't think so. Dissipated. Re. Words? Yeah, I don't know. It's out. The fire is. The burnout is out. Does that mean I've rekindled my fire? Okay, What I'm trying to say is that I feel the heaviness of the burnout. I don't feel anymore. So, like, I. I'm feeling optimistic. And it's. It has been a hell of a year, really hell of a year and a half, and if I'm being super honest, a hell of a decade since 2020. But I really feel like I. I know the things that I need to be doing as far as, like in. In theory now it's about making it happen. It's about setting up my schedule, looking at my finances, all those things that I gotta be able to do to manage a business. And with as I've been talking a bit about the discovery of being an Audi hd er, I have actually, I've started the process. I'm getting an evaluation, and I've already done a bunch of the intake paperwork because I. While I've been owning this realization, and I think I mentioned it on a Q and A that I don't think has come out yet, but it was right after the Chad conference that this realization when I was hanging out with a bunch of other Audi H tiers, and this whole kind of year, year and a half, I've been exploring autism. Is it. Can it maybe, I don't know, going back and forth, and then it was really hanging out very intentionally with a bunch of other Audi HDRs. To me, I felt like these are absolutely My people, there's a certain. It's similar to that, like being with other ADHDers and you're like, oh, it feels amazing. And then it's just a bit more nuanced. So, yeah, so for me, I guess it's just the formality of getting the evaluation. I found this company that does them online at a fairly reasonable ish price and they take my insurance. So I think like the full cost of it was like 950. But they do take my insurance. It's called Prosper Health, I think. So I'm not necessarily recommending it yet because I haven't actually gone through the process, but I have started the process. So that will certainly be something that I will be talking about in the year ahead. Let's see what else. So I know that my last episode, which was like a month ago, because it was. I think I put it out right before the Chad conference. I at that time said, all right, I'm gonna come back to an every other week pace on the podcast that every other week has come and it has gone. And I'm actually right now still exploring, like, what is my stuck around it. And I think part of it is the hesitancy to hire a person for it to be to edit the podcast. I've been looking at assistance for from people over in the Philippines because that's apparently a big area for virtual assistants. And I don't know, I'm just kind of. I'm waffling. I'm a little indecisive about it. And part of it is I don't know if I want to start shifting my focus a little bit to audihd. I think that once I get the evaluation and if I get confirmation, I think that I'll feel more confident doing that. So I guess the time will tell. Because, look, I do love having the conversations. I do love getting to share insights and stories with you and helping other adhders share their stories and their experiences. It really is something I enjoy. It's all like the. Those administrative parts of the whole process from after an episode is done, then you got to export that file and then up and drag it over to a Dropbox folder. So it's like I just find those kinds of tax tack taxes tasks super aversive. I think the fact that I'm also like, have listened so much more to my energy and my body and like just being okay. I keep thinking about this idea that, like, I was so driven and committed to weekly episodes every single week, and.