B (6:18)

We hear from Jessica I decided to join this group because I was stuck in trying to make progress in completing my PhD. I was burnt out and feeling like a failure, frankly. I hadn't made substantial progress on my dissertation in months and was having trouble making myself do any kind of consistent desk work. I realized I needed help to get unstuck and I also realized that I wanted a different type of support and accountability structure than what I could get from my existing family, friends and work and school networks. I just didn't feel comfortable asking for what I needed from those relationships. Before this group, I was fluttering my days away. I was having a really hard time putting down entertainment media, audiobooks, netflix, podcasts, etc. To do the desk work that I needed to do to make progress on my dissertation and with my graduate assistantship. The more I engaged in these kinds of numbing activities, the less I got done and the more I fell behind and the more anxious I became about my progress, the more resistance I felt when I was about attempting to tackle the work and the more tempting it was to engage in those numbing activities. And so while I was getting plenty of sleep, I wasn't getting any regular exercise. I didn't have any consistent routines and I noticed that I was really starting to isolate myself socially because I was embarrassed about the conversations of oh, how well is the PhD going? And when I wasn't able to say that I was making progress, it just became really disheartening. This group has been so helpful and rewarding. The structure of the coaching program really worked well for me. If you're wanting to sign up for this program, be aware that the group is really intensive. In addition to the five plus hours a week that you'll spend in coaching and the accountability team meetings, you'll also want to set aside time for the homework when it's there, practicing and implementing the skills that you're learning, the daily check ins with your small accountability teams, and providing support to the accountability team members and for participating in the online community. The coaching sessions themselves can also be pretty intellectually and emotionally intensive. And even though some of the more intense sessions were some of my favorite sessions, I would often need a break afterwards before I could, you know, think about trying to get back to work. I really benefited from the intensiveness in the program and the depth of the community level of interaction helps to facilitate. It felt honestly like a jumpstart for my life or a re jump start for my life, perhaps helping me to get out of the rut that I was in. In particular, I love being part of an accountability team. It's done more for my motivation than anything I've tried in years. You know, I. I've tried in the past to try to do accountability check ins and things like that with family or supervisors, but there's always been that fear of judgment or letting someone down in a way that is going to really impact your relationship. So being part of an accountability team where their only stake in your performance is wanting to see you do well, has been just invaluable. So it has all the benefits, but without any of the downsides of a lot of other. With the weekly one thing check ins and the daily top three check ins, it gives you practice in prioritizing and other skills that we learned throughout the program. It was really a safe space where we could get curious together about the issues that we, ourselves and our group members were facing. It was so nice to be able to reach out for encouragement or support or check ins. There was really this sense of camaraderie where you're motivated to show up for, for the others in your group and in that process you're showing up for yourself. I can't tell you how many times where I was having a tough day or was having a hard time getting on track. And I had asked earlier in the day for maybe an accountability check in and someone would send me a message on the mighty network saying hey, how is this going? And just that pause to be able to stop and ask yourself questions about if things weren't going so well and what, what could I do to do things better, to get back on track? That was really helpful and also to celebrate when things were going well. My biggest takeaway from the group is probably the importance of weekly planning and time blocking and doing so in a way that was first off, based on data that I had gathered about how long things actually take me as opposed to how long I think they should take. So being realistic instead of judgmental or often overly optimistic about my time and how long things actually take and taking into account in this time, blocking my energy and willpower levels and not trying to squeeze too much really tough stuff into any one particular day or week and giving myself time with large enough blocks to get into a flow state and then being able to judge my expectations for what I can get done in a certain day based on the amount of time that I could spend and being able to tailor the tasks that I would do on certain days to that. I learned a lot more about self care and the importance of that and working on replacing some of my old numbing habits. I've started doing almost daily walks and scheduling dedicated time with friends on a more regular basis. The physical activity really helps me focus and the time with friends helps to stave off the loneliness and recharge my social battery. I've started replacing some of those numbing habits with more productive break activities such as nonfiction podcasts relating to my field of study and listening to those over breakfast as opposed to reaching for a story that I then have trouble putting down. I've also really enjoyed once a week the meditations. Prior to group I had no idea that would be something that I might gravitate towards. I had always thought of meditations as being extremely boring, but I really learned to appreciate it as a tool for emotional regulation and trying to overcome the I don't want us. I'm probably most proud of the work that I put in helping to organize my A team. My role in the group was the quote group leader. So making sure that helping to lead the meetings and then using the skills that I had developed in leading those meetings, I put together a book club for the one thing and being able to use the skills that I had developed in leading our team meetings, in making sure that meeting went smoothly was something I was really proud of. The two most meaningful moments to me were probably the reading of the Dear ADHD letters, the bonding over shared challenges, and also just the outpouring of support from all of the other members just meant so much. Knowing that you're not in it alone and that there are other people out there dealing with similar things and it really helped bring us together. And then also the bucket list conversations and seeing a lot of times opportunities for overlap and thinking about how the relationship and community that we built over this eight weeks can go forward and the having that group of like minded and similar neurodivergent folks that get you and that you could have fun going to a cruise to Iceland with that was a really meaningful experience, to have that community and to have ways of continuing that community past the coaching group. When I think about success now, I'm really trying to think about it in terms of thriving and finding ways to work with instead of fighting against my neurodivergence. I think a big part of that is going to be finding cultivating an environment where that thriving is possible and instead of trying to judge it by what I feel like an academic should be, it's being able to bring my own unique take to that and redefine that role in a place and in a way that works for me and in which I can be fulfilled and happy. If you're thinking about joining this group, in addition to knowing that it is an intensive program and probably should think about trying to treat it like a part time job, being curious and really trying to think about the learner mindset and being willing to suspend your judgments of yourself and instead of asking yourself what's wrong with me? Asking yourself what do I need right now? What's getting in my way? What would help me get beyond this? Who can I reach out to for help? Questions that will move you forward and will open up possibilities and I would strongly recommend this program to anybody with adhd. Thank you so much Eric.

A (17:00)

Thank you Jessica. You know, I hope you were able to hear some of yourself and Jessica's experience and feel that there is good reason for hope. Because if you can do our program, it really does help. Are you Ready to start adhding different differently? Go to coachingrewired.com to get in our interest list so you can start pre registering. Our pre registration process is designed to help you figure out if this program is a good fit for you. You'll have to first watch a quick 15 minute video that explains the whole program. Then you'll take a short quiz about what you just learned and then you'll send me a 45 second video video answering a few questions Now I know some of you see the video requirement and get stuck there. So here's why the video from you matters. It gives me a glimpse of who you are and there's an opportunity to show that you can overcome that vulnerable feeling of putting yourself out there. Because that's what we want in group growth minded ADHDers who aren't afraid to be vulnerable. Ready to take that step? Go to coachingrewired.com to pre register today or click on the pre registration links you've already gotten in your emails from me. Spots are filling up fast and the deadline is coming up this week. Join us Wednesday, January 8th at 12pm Pacific 3 Eastern or Thursday, January 9th if space is still available. And that one is at 10am Pacific 1 Eastern. And that information is all on the website. Enrollment is 14.99 with 3 and 6 month payment plans available now. If those dates have passed because this is a podcast and episodes live on forever, check the website to see if we still have spots left or how you can join us. I am so grateful to have you a part of this community and I can't wait to see some of you you in this next group. In the meantime, if hearing this today was helpful for you in any way, you can let me know that by leaving a review on any podcast app that accepts reviews. And if you think it would be helpful for someone you know, please consider sharing a link to this episode with them. And thank you so much for listening. I hope you all had a really nice holiday season and a happy new Year. More episodes are coming as energy permits. Learn more about all the things we're doing from our coaching groups to our adult study hall coworking community where our yearly planning sessions are available to all members on demand, to our Patreon community, to our live Q&As. Learn about all of it at ADHD Rewired.com Stay beautiful, stay weird, and remember, your value isn't measured by how much you check off to do. List. Together, let's challenge the internalized ableism that tells us we have to fit into a world that wasn't built with us in mind. And let's start creating lives and systems that truly work for us. We'll catch you next time.