ADHD reWired – Episode 559

ADHD & AuDHD Burnout: Why Community & Accountability Still Matter
Host: Eric Tivers (with guest ADHD reWired Coach Brian Antler)
Release Date: January 14, 2026

Episode Overview

In this Q&A episode, Eric Tivers and coach Brian Antler discuss personal updates, the experience of ADHD and Autism burnout, the importance of community, unmasking, self-understanding, and the ongoing journey to recovery. Listeners’ questions guide the conversation, touching on grief, emotional regulation, productivity, accountability, and practical strategies to navigate life with ADHD and AuDHD (Autistic + ADHD). The episode highlights the value of structure and support, vulnerability in relationships, and adapting to new self-realizations—plus a little accountability for Eric’s pickleball routine.

1. Personal Updates & Burnout Realizations

[03:05 – 07:36]

• Eric Reflects on Burnout & Diagnosis:

  • Shares that he hasn't released episodes as regularly due to burnout.
  • Quote:
    “I’ve recently come to the realization while I think I’ve sort of stopped digging deeper into the burnout, I’m still kind of figuring out how to re-energize myself because I’m not there yet… I still need more sort of burnout recovery time and it’s inconvenient and frustrating at times, but I have to do what I need to do for my well being.” (Eric, 03:45)
  • Received an autism diagnosis earlier this year and discusses integrating that into his identity.

• Presentation on AudHD:

  • Eric presented at a CHADD conference on AudHD burnout, grief, meltdowns, and communication challenges.
  • Notes how finishing the presentation at the last minute was a return to old habits, but with new boundaries to avoid further burnout.
  • The process led to deeper self-discovery about juggling ADHD and autism.

2. Community as Lifeline

[05:51 – 09:21]

• Brian Antler’s Take:

  • Felt recharged by re-immersing in the ADHD/autism community at the conference.
  • Quote:
    “Community is the bomb that really helps us neurodiverse folks function better in the world.” (Brian, 05:57)
  • Shares he is self-diagnosed autistic, officially diagnosed ADHD, and in the process of seeking a formal autism assessment.

• The Power of Shared Experience:

  • Both Eric and Brian emphasize the necessity of community—especially when navigating burnout and identity.
  • Quote:
    “The power of community cannot be underestimated. And I know that’s not a new thing, but it’s something I had to relearn.” (Brian, 09:21)

3. The Burnout Cycle & Recovery

[07:36 – 09:40]

• Unique Challenges for AudHD:
  • Eric outlines the “AudiHD cycle of burnout,” noting how individuals rush back into productivity as soon as they feel a bit better, often leading to relapse into burnout.
  • Adjusted his working habits to practice self-care and avoid those triggers.
  • Quote:
    “As soon as we start to feel [a bit better], we get a little bit of energy back, we tend to go then full throttle again.” (Eric, 08:03)

4. Unmasking and Navigating Self-Acceptance

[09:40 – 15:24]

• Unmasking After Diagnosis:

  • Eric discusses how, post-diagnosis, masking behaviors became more evident, and new vulnerabilities surfaced (e.g., meltdowns, emotional openness).
  • Quote:
    “Once you sort of have that realization, there’s this new realization of how much masking has actually been going on.” (Eric, 10:50)

• Brian on Vulnerability:

  • Learning to be seen—allowing needs and differences to be visible without apology but with empathy for others.
  • Quote:
    “The real unmasking comes when you allow yourself and your traits to be perceived; when you allow yourself to take up space without apologies… That is the really vulnerable part.” (Brian, 11:47)

• Relationship Challenges:

  • Eric opens up about how periods of retreat impact his partner, and the struggle to communicate during shutdowns.
  • Emphasizes the importance of proactive conversations and rituals to handle inevitable difficult moments.

5. Emotional Awareness & Alexithymia

[18:29 – 19:56]

• Eric on Alexithymia:

  • Despite strong emotional intelligence with others, he struggles to accurately name his own feelings.
  • Quote:
    “I still view myself as a fairly emotionally intelligent person… What I’ve realized is I’m not great at knowing what I’m feeling. And that’s just been this almost shocking realization.” (Eric, 18:29)

• Brian on Hypervigilance:

  • Neurodiverse individuals often become adept at reading others (hypervigilance) out of necessity, sometimes at the expense of their own emotional awareness.
  • Quote:
    “We are very attuned to other people’s emotions, but our own emotions, I think I know, but not always accurate.” (Brian, 19:20)

6. Listener Q&A Highlights

[19:56 – 35:14; resumes at 36:33]

A. What do you wish you’d known before your autism diagnosis?

• The reality and impact of high-masking autism.
• Burnout and mental health consequences are deeper when “masking” is strong.
• Quote:
  “I wish I would have known more about high masking, autism, and how much that actually impacts me.” (Eric, 21:13)

B. Themes from CHADD Presentation

• Importance of understanding masking, patterns, and coping strategies—not just visible traits.

C. Grief, Family & Burnout

[22:08 – 26:04]

• Eric shares the impact of his father's passing, his approach to grief, and how family dynamics intensified personal stress.
• Quote:
  “I allowed myself to really grieve… not at all trying to push myself… and I was not thinking about presentations, you know, for several weeks.” (Eric, 23:40)
• Ongoing grief shows the necessity of being compassionate with oneself and allowing ample recovery time.

D. Signs & Symptoms of Burnout

[26:04 – 29:35]

• Apathy, lack of motivation, regressed skills, the feeling of not operating at previous levels.
• Increased need for downtime and self-attunement.
• Quote:
  “Burnout for me looks like art apathy, art feeling rudderless, knowing I have these things that I need to do and just kind of being like… or it’s the anxiety… and it's having a considerable more need for downtime and recovery time.” (Eric, 26:25)

7. Community Stories: Structure, Accountability & Growth

[30:25 – 35:34]

• Real-life testimonials from coaching group members about the power of structure, support, and shared experience for ADHDers.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “I realized that I'm not bad, I'm not wrong, I'm not defective, and that I just have a condition with my brain that I can learn to work with.” (Group Member 1, 31:00)
  • “I need structure and I need accountability and I need understanding.” (Group Member 2, 31:25)
  • “Success looks like sitting with tension and big emotions and still showing up.” (David, 32:22)

8. AI for ADHD: Tools & Reflections

[36:33 – 44:29]

• Tools in Use:

  • Eric and Brian use ChatGPT for organizing thoughts, brainstorming, managing tasks, and even meal planning.
  • AI assists with theme development and overcoming executive dysfunction.

• Practical Examples:

  • Eric uses ChatGPT for creative prompts and recipes. Brian shared innovative uses such as analyzing photos (to identify mold!) and automating research.
  • Quote:
    “I started adopting AI and ChatGPT later, but I’ve been using it more and more… It’s kind of like pulling stuff from other stuff that was not even part of that conversation at all.” (Brian, 37:28)

• Concerns & Future:

  • Both acknowledge the risks of over-reliance on AI and environmental impacts.
  • Brief mention of advanced AI “agents” and generating music with Suno.

9. Live Accountability Hot Seat: Pickleball & Small Steps

[44:29 – End]

• Listener-Led Accountability:

  • Carrie (listener) puts Eric on the spot, encouraging him to take concrete steps to return to his beloved pickleball routine after burnout.
  • Memorable Moment:
    Eric ends up in the “hot seat” and, with live accountability, promises to call and then actually registers for the pickleball club by the end of the episode. (44:29–47:11)
  • Quote:
    “Thank you, Carrie, thank you for your hard hitting questions. I actually really appreciate that… I did the thing. I went online and I officially became a member. So I did it.” (Eric, 47:12)

• Listener Q: Where to get an autism assessment in Chicago?

  • Eric recommends ProsperHealth.io (for online/insurance-friendly assessments) and books by Devin Price for further understanding, noting Price’s Chicago ties.

• Outro Update:

  • “It’s been a few weeks since the Q&A as I’m editing this… Not only did I sign up, I’ve been going three to four times a week… and I feel back in my groove.” (Eric, outro)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction & Burnout Update: 03:05–07:36
• The Power of Community: 05:51–09:21
• Burnout Patterns Unique to AuDHD: 07:36–09:40
• Unmasking & Vulnerability: 09:40–15:24
• Communicating in Relationships / Emotional Awareness: 15:24–19:56
• Listener Q&A (Diagnosis, Grief, Burnout): 19:56–35:14
• Coaching Group Stories: 30:25–35:34
• AI Tools Discussion: 36:33–44:29
• Live Hot Seat / Pickleball Accountability: 44:29–End

Notable Quotes

• Eric Tivers:

  • “The more we discover, the more we realize we have more to discover.” (03:55)
  • “I’ve yet to find where increased self-awareness was ever like a bad thing.” (09:40)
  • “I think the best thing I could say right now is that I feel I’ve stopped digging deeper into the burnout. But … my theme for the year has to do with attunement… listening more to myself and my nervous system.” (29:10)

• Brian Antler:

  • “Community is the bomb that really helps us neurodiverse folks function better in the world.” (05:51)
  • “The real unmasking comes when you allow yourself and your traits to be perceived, when you allow yourself to take up space without apologies.” (11:47)

• Group Member (on success):

  • “Success looks like sitting with tension and big emotions and still showing up.” (32:22)

The Takeaway

This episode is a lived-in, honest exploration of what it means to navigate ADHD, AuDHD, and burnout—emphasizing the slow, non-linear nature of recovery and the absolute necessity of community and accountability. It also demonstrates, in real time, how support, structure, and even some gentle public nudging can move us forward on the smallest—and most important—steps.

Next live Q&A: March 10th, 12:30 PM Central.