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- [00:00]
A
I don't know if this is autism or adhd, but I'm fixated on this idea that I would write a book, right? And for years I would say I was going to do it. Did I ever do it? No, not until I had this very clear structure.
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B
ADHD Rewired Episode 561 Since 2014, this has been the podcast for ADHD adults who have really good intentions and a slightly wandering attention. I'm Eric Tivers. I'm a licensed clinical social worker by training and a coach by design. I'm your host and I'm Audiehd. ADHD Rewired is more than just a podcast. You can learn about our coaching and accountability groups, our virtual co working community, and more all@adhd Rewired.com we are wired for connection and you are not alone. Learn more about our offerings, including our quarterly live Q&As. Get additional resources for every episode, including links to any resources we mention on today's show. You can support us on Patreon, sign up for our email newsletter and more, all@adhd Rewired.com and if this is your first time listening, welcome. Don't forget to hit, subscribe or follow on your podcast app so you never miss an episode. We know the starting is the hardest part, so let's get started. A quick announcement before we get started regarding our Winter Coaching and Accountability groups. The start of group was pushed back two weeks and is now starting February 19th and 20th and go through April 16th and 17th, which means it's not too late. We're hosting registration events on Thursday, February 5th and 12th at 4:30pm Pacific, 7:30 Eastern and Friday, February 6th and 13th at 8:30am Pacific, 11:30am Eastern. Pre registration takes just 20 to 30 minutes. Watch a 15 minute overview video, take a quick quiz and send me a short video. Visit coaching Rewired.com to get started with pre registration. And don't forget, while you're there, add your name to the interest list. That's coaching Rewired.com welcome back to another episode of ADHD Rewired.
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C
Today's guest is Kathryn Muti Driscoll, PhD.
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B
She loves to learn and has a variety of degrees and certifications.
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C
Highlights include Katherine's PhD in education from.
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B
The University of Washington and her coach training from the International ADHD Coach Training center and Impact Parents. Catherine is currently at Walden University studying it to become a mental health counselor. Writing a book has been Catherine's lifelong dream. When she's not working, studying or writing, she enjoys hanging out with her neurodivergent family, one spouse and two sons, drinking.
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C
Coffee and, and with hanging out with.
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B
Friends, dancing to Taylor Swift and reading contemporary romances.
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C
Is that like, it's another way of saying trashy romance novels?
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A
They're not that trashy. There's actually more and more neurodivergent characters in there.
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C
You know, just saying trashy novels.
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A
By the way, it's all, it's all good. I mean, some, you can have more open door and closed door. I'm learning. So I'm, I'm good with the closed door or the open door, but I'm, I'm really more into the. When they do have characters with ADHD and autism or special needs, which there are more and more, more of those characters. But I'm also, I'm, I've come out about my interest in romance because I'm learning that if I share my interest, then I can make friends who have the same interests versus trying to pretend I'm not into romance because people think it's silly.
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C
Well, what you like is what you like and there's nothing silly about that.
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A
Exactly. That's what I think too.
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B
So what we're going to be talking.
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C
About today is how to write a book when you have. So that could apply for adhd, autism. I know we have touched on this topic in the past, but I think it is still one that we can visit from a lot of different angles.
- [04:13]
A
Yeah, totally. Well, I was diagnosed with adhd at age 37, which was in 2018. And I was shocked. I could not believe it when people started flagging my son for having some of the more hyperactive symptoms. He was about 6 or 7 at the time. I know you've all heard this story before from moms who were diagnosed at the same age. You know, I, I was like, well, this couldn't be me. You know, I couldn't be the link here. But as I started reading Driven to Distraction, which was recommended by the folks who diagnosed my son, the more I read his checklist, I was like, oh no, this is it, you know, And I started reading all the books I could find on girls and, and teens with ADHD and stuff started making a lot of sense. So that was diagnosis number one. I as this is also very common for, for women my age to have already seen therapists for depression and anxiety in the past. So I had those co occurring things coming along for the ride. But I did think, you know, it seemed like there was more going on. I was, you know, chatting with various doctors, you Know, trying to, to figure out the best way to treat adhd. And I was, I was talking about my heartfelt feelings, and this one medical provider said, oh, well, I wonder if you could be on the spectrum? And I was, no, no, no, I'm pretty sure I was talking about my other family member, you know, and, but that stuck with me and I started doing the deep dive, reading all the books again. And sure enough, I was, yeah, I think this is me. And so I, I did the whole next round of testing and, and yep, there you have it at 41AUDHD. Yeah, well, I think I was talking a lot about executive function challenges which would match up with adhd, but I think, you know, I thought I was talking about my emotions and struggles and she was hearing executive Fun. Hopefully my mother won't ever listen to this podcast. But I said, I think my mom might have undiagnosed autism. And this provider said, well, could you be on the spectrum? That's what I'm hearing. And I was. What, you know, I, I was, no, I'm not my mother. Right. I'm social. But turns out, yes, I was on the spectrum.
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C
So what do you think, just from your, your experience and with this, this understanding about yourself and rdh, um, that maybe you think people don't always realize or understand is. I. I'm also someone who was sort of in that, that sort of same camp of just kind of realizing now that it's not just adhd, it's. It's also autism.
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A
Yeah. Well, at first thought I couldn't have ADHD because of the male stereotypes that you have to be hyperactive, you have to be bad at school. And I was very good at school. And I, I was, I fidgeted, but I was, I wasn't hyperactive in an obvious way. I think the autism diagnosis was surprising for myself and others since I seem social. But what I've learned is that you can be social in a very particular way and still meet the criteria. For example, I do much better one on one than in groups. I do much better if we're in an area of my interest. That makes it way easier for me to connect. I also do way better if I kind of know what to expect. So when I'm coaching, I know what the roles are. And even though it's slightly different every time. Right. It's. There's enough variety to keep me interested one my ADHD side, but I think there's enough, like, I know how it's going to play out in general, or I like to be with friends where I know what to expect. I think this can be why it can be harder for me with more complex relationships as a parent. Some people I parent are rather hard to predict, so I can struggle with that more. Because thinking on my feet can be tricky. I think so I think those are a few things that I've kind of noticed. It's, it's a good question and kind of tough to say, but I have a feeling that some of my autism helped me get the thing done. It is tricky to separate it out. I think that likely some of my autism helped me get the book done. And. Well, I do think that in a lot of ways the way that the publisher set up this book, writing was really useful. It was very structured and I think that that really helped me in terms of being able to, to get it all finished and get regular feedback, have deadlines that really could, could get me through it.
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B
So what kind of like structure was.
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C
Helpful that the publisher set up for you?
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A
Yeah, well, so it's a, it's a self help book publisher, new harbinger. And they have, they, this is what they do, right? So it's almost a template or a script. So that was really useful. And they, they tell you when they want each of the chapters and they have a feedback process. And so I think in a lot of ways that really helped just having a process that I could trust. So even when I was like, can I even do this thing? You know, who am I to write this? You know, the imposter syndrome, it still felt like, okay, there's this system that I can just keep going through.
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C
This is maybe a different kind of question, but like, why would you want.
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B
To write a book?
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A
Yeah, good, good question. And I've, I've been thinking about that lately as I'm working on book number two. Because, you know, I'm sure people expect me to say, oh, I want to help people, blah, blah, blah, which of course I do in theory. But at the same time, you don't really connect with people by writing directly. You know, in a coaching session, I connect with the person I'm helping much more directly. I think writing does help me think through what I think. You know, I, I still can have anxiety after it's written about whether it sucks. I think I could be more anxious about what I said verbally, what I wrote. I also have always just been really into books, you know, like I. Bookstores are always kind of a refuge. I guess there's a feeling you might find something that you connect with or something that helps you with, you know, relaxing or with learning about yourself or learning about some sort of mental health issue, which are, you know, some of my special interests. So I think for me it's probably just being a part of that whole bookstore information thing.
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C
I've heard before from people who have written books that it was harder than they thought it was going to be and that they never want to do it again. And until they write their next one and then they say the same thing again. So what do you think it is that drives. So for someone who, you know, maybe they, they.
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B
I do think a lot of people.
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C
Have this sort of.
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B
I have a book in me and.
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C
I want to get these ideas out. I'm definitely, I'll put myself into that camp. I think I have probably a few books in me and the thought of writing a book terrifies me because I struggle with writing.
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A
I, I do think that knowing how you work can be really helpful. I think for, for years, and maybe this is, I don't know if this is autism or adhd, but I'm fixated on this idea that I would write a book, right. And for years I would say I was going to do it. Did I ever do it? No, not until I had this very clear structure from the publisher. Not until I wrote a contract and a proposal which was very clear. You know, And I think there's no way I could have done it all without some form of support, structure, deadlines. And I think for me it really made a difference that somebody wanted me to write it. You know, I would love to say that it didn't matter. Right. I was going to passionately write them no matter what, but that was clearly not the case.
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C
You said the publisher is new Harbinger.
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B
Right.
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C
How did they, how did you get.
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B
Their sort of attention to get their interest?
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A
Yes. Well, this, this is funny. So I work at the Hallowell Tadar ADHD center and we were working with the Radical Guide for Women with adhd, which is a, another self help book for women with ADHD by the publisher. And we were, our coaches were using that book and I think the publisher was. What's going on? Are they sort of plagiarizing the book a bit or so? They contacted me and I said, no, you know, we're, we make people buy the book. Okay, we'll change the word radical in the title of our group. You know, it's just a book group. So we worked it out and then, you know, the publisher I think was reading my bio and I actually had said, you know, I've always wanted to write a book and I'm trying to do it, I think, which again, is another vote for being yourself and just putting it out there. Because she saw that and she said, hey, you know, we need someone to write a book about ADHD teen girls. Would you want to do it? And of course I'm, hell, yeah, I want to do it, you know, and, you know, the teen years were tough for me, so that was another reason why, you know, it was a good project because it was an area of interest for me.
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B
And what's the name of that book since you've brought that up?
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A
The ADHD Workbook for Teen Girls. Very, you know, creative title.
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C
You know, sometimes with titles like the. Actually just explaining what it is is the best way to go. Like, clever isn't always the best approach.
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A
Well, I. I definitely can't do clever in five words or less, so I.
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C
Often struggle with that when I'm coming up. I'm trying to think of, like, names for episodes of the podcast. Right. Because we talk about a lot of topics, but how do I. What do we talk about most? And how do I get it to draw someone in?
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A
That is very hard. Yeah.
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C
I always have struggled with the idea of how do we do something short? And what's that quote of? I would have written less if I had more time.
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A
Yes, it's true. Yeah, it's way harder to say it in less words.
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B
And we will be right back. Support for this podcast comes from ADHD Rewired's intensive coaching and accountability groups. Hey, if you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or feeling like ADHD is holding you back from living the life that you want to live, you are not alone. These coaching groups are not light touch coaching. They are intense. Meeting multiple times a week because ADHD life doesn't wait for a weekly check in. What makes it work isn't willpower. It's structure, accountability, and radical acceptance. Here's what some of our members say.
- [15:53]
D
Before this group, I didn't really have a community Eric's podcast. I've only heard it a few times, but it was one of them that helped me accept my diagnosis. Because I think when I got the diagnosis, I was like many people in their journey, not very accepting of it. The secret special sauce is accountability, attention, structure, intention. And this program provides all of that. It's working and it feels good.
- [16:15]
E
Success for me now is more flexible and less the concrete outcomes that I see, like success. Success really looks like to me, like showing up when it's hard success to me. When I first started this group continued to look like there being a concrete outcome and a concrete achievement or a concrete check on my to do list. Whereas now I'm like, success is like sitting with tension and big emotions and still showing up. And before that sounded too frou frou to me.
- [16:38]
A
I was like, I hate that shit.
- [16:39]
E
I'm like no, my brain didn't jive with it, but I'm like oh, I recognize that it is really hard when your brain is telling you to do 500 other things and you continue to show up anyway and learn how to tolerate a lot of feelings and doing it in a community that was really accepting.
- [16:52]
B
If you're ready to stop doing it alone, head to coachingrewired.com with one section in the mornings, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 8:30am Pacific, 11:30 Eastern and another in the evenings Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays for the first six weeks and then Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays the last two weeks both at 4:30pm Pacific 7:30 Eastern. We are working hard to make this season more accessible to busy schedules and even more affordable with enrollment at only $9.99 this season with three and six month payment plans available. Whether you got diagnosed with ADHD as a kid a few years ago yesterday, or you've never received a formal diagnosis but you still identify as adhd, let this be the season where you really get to expedite your growth and find your community. Go to coaching Rewired.com join the interest List, complete pre registration and attend our registration event. We are hosting registration events on Thursdays February 5th and 12th at 4:30pm Pacific, 7:30 Eastern and Fridays February 6th and 13th at 8:30am Pacific 11:30am Eastern. Group begins February 19th and February 20th. We know that starting is the hardest part, so get started by going to coaching Rewired.com and if you're listening to this in the future, after we've started, add your name to the interest list@coachingrewired.com to get updates on future groups and registration events. That's coaching Rewired.com support is also provided by Adult Study Hall. Looking for an ADHD friendly co working community? Come cowork with ADHD Rewired Adult Study Hall. We have both guided and facilitated co working sessions with various themes and areas of focus or drop into our quiet 24.7 room anytime of day or night. Go to adultstudyhall.com to join. It's free to try for the first week and only $19.99 a month after that or save 43% with an annual membership for only 150 for the year. That's adultstudyhall.com ADHD Rewired. Co working, co writing, co planning, co creating, body doubling, community. That's adult study hall.com all right, back to the conversation.
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C
So now that you've written one book, you're in the process of writing another.
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B
What are you doing differently this time?
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A
Well, it, it is kind of a different topic. Rejection sensitive dysphoria. And there isn't much research on it. And it's kind of a hodgepodge of like podcasts and articles and things like that. So it does feel a little bit of a different beast where I would like to get more feedback throughout the process from folks or perhaps even do some, some interviews. But I do think maybe the first time I was pretty isolated, just like in my own head. And this time I'd really like to get some more feedback, not just from the publisher, but from the community in some way throughout. Although it's pretty fast paced, so we'll see how much I can do.
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C
Are you still in that kind of information gathering part right now or you started the writing?
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A
I had to write some sample chapters for the proposal and I've been tweaking those, so. So it sort of feels like all of those processes are happening at once.
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C
Do you know how you're sort of addressing the fact that there isn't a lot of research on rsd?
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A
Well, that's a good question. This publisher is pretty into psychological theories, so I think I'll be using some like, internal family systems stuff to deal with some of the, you know, the issues that people would be facing. But part of me would like to think of a way that's not too hard or effortful to like, hear from folks, what, what do people do? Because I think a lot of us do enjoy hearing from, from others. What do you do to make your RSD better? It's, it's actually a growth edge for me. So that's why it's good that I'm writing this book, because I think I bought, I think I felt like it is one of those stumbling blocks where it does come up in coaching. But I'm like, I'm still dealing with that. I feel like there's some, you know, instances from even growing up that I can remember and I would love to say that I was over them, but I don't know if I am, you know.
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B
So, you know, a lot of people.
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C
I think come to writing books because they write the book that they kind of need themselves. And it sounds like you're sort of on this cusp of like figuring this out for yourself as you're researching it as far as like how you're approaching that evolution, that kind of a working understanding that you're coming on is, you know, with being an Audi HD where you kind of like, you want to know what is, what isn't. Because the nuances is sometimes a challenging space. Any suggestions or things that you are personally doing to help you navigate that space.
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A
I think it is tricky. I think it is helping me again that there is a structured process and they make you write a proposal and they make you write an outline of the chapters, which is very difficult for me to outline. But I think just having to keep trying to do it does help. And I think, you know, in a lot of ways, since it is a self help book, like strategies, it doesn't have to be grounded in like truth or research necessarily. And, and so I'm, I'm trying to, to also like read stuff on internal family systems is what I'm reading right now. And I think that actually does offer a lot of opportunities for myself and others, like thinking about how, you know, many of us grew up and we were very sensitive and some of those parts may still be there and get triggered easily, but we can remember that that's not all of who we are. We're 44 years old. Right. And we don't need that approval to survive necessarily, even if we're caught up in it in the moment.
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C
And just for listeners who might not be familiar with internal family systems or ifs, maybe you've heard of like comp Hearts at work. I think it really needs a rebrand because internal family systems for what it like doesn't make sense.
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A
It's a sort of a bad title too, now that you're saying it right.
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C
Because like the internal family is actually the parts of yourself, like your actual internal. Like think of the characters in your own mind, like the part of yourself that does that. Like all those parts are considered the internal family. So it actually has nothing to do with your family, which is so I don't know why people would be confused by that. But I think it really is. That parts work, I think is really great stuff. I just wanted to make sure because I never want to assume that a listener has that background knowledge, even though I know that my listeners are brilliant and all that kind of stuff. But for those who don't know what.
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B
That is because maybe I'm New to this space or.
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C
I just haven't heard of that. So it's. Schwartz is the. I'm forgetting his first name.
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A
Richard.
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C
Richard. Thank you. Yeah. I'm an audiobook person. Like, I read. I read Fingers. And I couldn't do his books, like, when he reads them because really, like, it was painful. I couldn't do it. The content is great. So, Richard, if you happen to hear this, like, maybe have somebody else record your stuff because you have amazing ideas and so. All right, sidebar there. Tangent coming back. Okay. You're taking this. Ifs Internal Family Systems. Looking at that with rsd, like your life experience with what's out there, what's not out there.
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B
How do you keep yourself from getting.
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C
Completely overwhelmed by the process?
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A
Yeah, well, I. I honestly think. I think it is the structure. It's like magic. And that's why I just keep going back to school, you know, I can do almost anything when it's mapped out. And even though this map is foggier than, like this week, do this assignment that's pre prepared, it's still pretty well mapped that it's. It's the right amount of uncertainty and figuring out, but not too much. You know, it's not. I'm swimming through the abyss, so I think that helps me keep going. Plus, I know, okay, I turned the first draft in, I get some feedback, so then I'll get a chance to, like, try it again or so I think that also helps. Like, I know I get multiple cracks at it in the process. It was harder the first time when I'm like, first time through, but now I kind of have also experienced it once.
- [25:55]
C
For you, anyways, how much time do you put into it? Either a day or a week.
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B
Like, how do you kind of organize.
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C
Your time that way?
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A
Yeah, well, I think I would love to say that I've mapped it out and I know how long all the time tasks take, but I don't, you know, So a lot of times you just get to the weekend and you're coming up on a deadline and you're just sitting there and you're with your laptop, you know, And I have sometimes done the writing retreat, which I recommend for those of us who do well. Just when we don't have distractions, we just take a chunk of time away from things. I've definitely done that in the past. Writing stuff. Just go to an Airbnb, you don't even need that long. Sometimes. Sometimes just a couple days, you. Or even two, you can knock a bunch of stuff out all Right.
- [26:43]
C
So putting yourself in a different environment instead of having also deadlines. So let's say you're trying to write something and you don't have a contract with a publisher. Right. So how would you suggest then that someone who maybe thrives off those deadlines to keep making progress, how would you suggest that someone create those deadlines even.
- [27:04]
B
If they need to be engineered?
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A
Yeah, well, I would say, you know, they could try a class, they could try, you know, also a writing coach. I have worked with writing coaches before, so I think there are some options out there. Like in Seattle we have the Hugo House and they have some year long classes where it sets you up to write a product at the end of it.
- [27:30]
B
Cool.
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C
I know in our co working community Delta study hall, we have once a week a co working session specifically for writing. We call it Write with Me. I know a lot of people, they have these great intentions, but unless they either have someone to do it with or have a deadline where someone's waiting for something from them, it just stays as an intention. And that thing that you constantly think about but don't actually take action on, I almost have to imagine it would be harder to do self publishing for that reason than it would be to actually have a contract of here's what we need, here's what we need it. So you kind of have those benchmarks.
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B
What do you wish you would have.
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C
Known before starting your first book that you now understand?
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A
Now I have gone through getting my one star review and I survived it. When I was on Tracy Atsuka's podcast, I hadn't had it yet and she's like, oh, it's coming, you know, cause she's also written a book, so. And so I, I think that helps, you know, just realizing you can do that. I also think, you know, the first time around you, you know, the publisher says, oh, you should promote the book in this way and that way and you're trying to do all the things. And I think it becomes just easier to say, oh, these things are not worth the energy or these things, you know, kind of suit me better. But also you get more of a sense of not maybe needing to do all the things.
- [28:59]
C
Is there would there be any situation where you would suggest to someone that.
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B
Maybe writing that book isn't a great idea?
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A
Well, I would say it's not as fun as it looks. Unless you're pretty sure that you are a really big nerd about this topic and you've wanted to do this for a long time and you don't care that, like, I still haven't gotten paid for the first one. It's hilarious, right? I guess I'm supposed to get a check in February, but I've actually got an advance for the second one, but nothing for the first one. So it's, it's a labor of love, I guess. Dr. Hallowell in the forward said I wasn't gonna make any money on this book. And I said, well, you just put it in, right? So it's the prophecy, but it is, it is a slog. You do come into contact with a lot of those parts of you that doubt your abilities and think you're full of crap.
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C
You know that Imposter syndrome.
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A
Yeah. But if you, if you want to do it and you think you have something to say, then it, it is a meaningful thing to do, you know?
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C
And yeah, when you had something about like, it not necessarily being fun, it kind of struck me. I was like, well, maybe that's why I haven't started writing my book, because it doesn't actually sound fun. Like the process. I, I would feel proud if I were to write a book. Like, I think it would feel very fulfilling. But I don't think it would be fun. I think that when you said, like, you have to really be passionate about the topic, I mean, I think we have similar conversations about this when it comes to that question of what's the best job for someone with adhd? Well, that there can't answer that in a behind a blanket statement, you know, because it's like it depends what you're interested in. That's because we have an interest based nervous system. So if you're interested in it, like all those prioritizations, those come a lot easier if they're in alignment with what you're interested in. If you're not, good luck.
- [31:03]
A
Yeah. And I think, you know, I've always been somewhat of a writer. I mean, other people might say I'm a good writer. I still would not say that. Right. Because ADHD thing. Right.
- [31:14]
C
What would your therapist say about that comment?
- [31:16]
A
I don't know. She'd kick me out. Failure. But at the same time, I've seen my son really struggle with writing. And so it makes me think in some ways just my willingness to keep going back and trying and this could be like, you know, we can be hard headed with Audi hd. Right. I'm like, I've always loved books. Right. I'm always into books. I've always wanted to write. Sometimes I, I don't know why. Right. And I think like, that's probably why it makes sense for me to do it. I don't, I think other people that they could enjoy being on a YouTube channel or having a podcast or public speaking or. So then they should do that. You know, it's way easier. Well, I don't know that it's way easier. It just depends on who you are.
- [32:04]
C
You know, that's funny when you, when you said we can be kind of hard headed, I just kind of have this, this connection, a little bit of, a little bit of a light bulb, I guess. Years ago I was in a kind of a long term mastermind group and one of the members was not an ADHD group. It was just everyone, everyone in the group was a podcaster in different areas of business. And one of the members of the group said to me once when I was really kind of struggling with hitting a certain goal, but I was really determined to do it. And he goes, eric, there's a difference between being determined to hit a goal and being unhealthily obsessed. And I was kind of thinking about my past through the lens of undiagnosed Audi hd.
- [32:47]
B
I'm like, oh yeah, there were signs.
- [32:48]
C
There have been signs for years. It's all been there.
- [32:52]
A
So.
- [32:52]
C
All right. I was just processing out loud.
- [32:54]
B
Thank you for giving me that.
- [32:55]
A
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And you know, I mean, people might have said that about me along the way. Does my husband want me to write a second book? Maybe not, but does he have veto power? I guess not.
- [33:08]
C
I was going to say, is he there? Could we get him on what his.
- [33:11]
A
Thoughts are on that?
- [33:12]
C
But you know, it's clear that you enjoy the structured process, the getting the ideas out. And it also seems like you have.
- [33:20]
B
To kind of be okay with some.
- [33:22]
C
A realm of sort of uncertainty and murkiness.
- [33:26]
A
I think you do. And I'm not always into that, but I think, I think writing must be the place where for whatever reason, I'm like a dog with a bone on writing and I'm willing to do it even though I don't always love it. So actually. So I don't know if you've heard of Laura McCowan. She has like a sober community and she, she's come up with like some, some statements for sobriety that are sort of like aa, but not. And what she says, like she has a statement about alcohol, like, this is your thing. This will always be your thing, no matter what you do. And I've sometimes felt like that about writing. Like, I don't know why it's my thing. I don't know why I seem to always come back to wanting to do. Annoys me in a lot of ways. I can find it quite painful at times, but it's like I can't not do it.
- [34:25]
C
I think that, you know, as. As my listeners know that I've been kind of going through. Just keep context. I'm recording this on January 30, 2025. I have no idea when this will.
- [34:36]
B
Be released.
- [34:40]
C
But listeners who have been following me during that. This short period of time know that I've experienced some pretty significant burnout and I think is, you know, sort of driven by that. I am driven and sometimes kind of stubborn on hitting goals. I think it's. It has backfired to a degree and to which I've been learning to kind of slow down and do less.
- [35:01]
A
Yeah, Well, I think, you know, it did occur to me that, yeah, lots of people my age, you know, they. They want to have friends. You know, it sounds bad. They want to, like, do hobbies. They want to. And you know what? I don't really care about have having stuff like that. I don't care if I go to the play or, you know, I don't care if I. Yeah, I'm fine with writing on the weekends. I'm fine with going to grad school. I know people will list these things off and be like, either wow or you're crazy. But yeah, I'm okay with. That's what I do on the weekends. And I actually like it. And people have always thought I was weird. Right. And I'm just owning it. So I don't embrace your weird. I don't know. I don't know what the question was.
- [35:57]
C
The question was how do you know when you need to, you know, kind of slow it down or take a break, you know?
- [36:03]
A
Right. Yes. So I think in a lot of ways, I've already, like, passion my life to have the priorities in order. Like, it's all I have capacity for, is my neurodivergent family and, you know, the certain amount of coaching, the certain amount of writing, a certain amount of grad school. Sometimes if it does seem to be too much, then I'll try to dial something down. You know, I listen to a lot of audiobooks, Romance for.
- [36:36]
C
For dad, Circling Back to the Beginning.
- [36:37]
A
Yep, Yep. But I think in. In general, a lot of these things are. Are pretty doable. It's really the family that throws things out of whack. And sometimes I do just have to, like, just accept that oh, we were all sick this week. Which we were. Or. Oh, you know, my. My son wants to stay up all night. I'm pulling all nighter. Yeah, the, you know, thing. And just. Just roll with it and remember that a lot of these things kind of keep me sane. And I know people would think that was weird, right? And I used to pretend that. That I wasn't weird and I was cool, but no one bought it anyway. So now I just say, yeah. Sometimes I'm like, see a family. You're chaotic and messy, and I just want to go do my homework right now for my. For grad school.
- [37:33]
C
I love that you embrace your weird and have thrown that mask down and stomped on it. And like, this is who I am. That's. That's awesome. Let me ask you one more question here. Tips for when you're stuck. When you're writing something and you know that dreaded sort of writer's block.
- [37:49]
A
Yes. Well, I do. If you watched my writing process, you would think it was very odd and interesting and funny. Okay. So sometimes when I can't get started on writing something, like I'm really stuck or it just sounds boring, or I will dictate. I will walk around and dictate my ideas. I have this. This journaling app, day one that you don't need to use it. There's a lot of other apps that you can dictate to, including, like, your Apple Notes. So, you know, I just dictate. And then I can grab that text because it syncs with my computer and pop it in and start editing other things. I do. Are you. I actually sometimes to edit because editing is like my least favor part because it brings up my perfectionism. I know it gets a lot better, but I like the ideas phase much more. So sometimes I will listen to it. A lot of times I print it out and write on it because I'm more tactile that way. But I have to do a lot of things like that to get myself to. To do the different parts. Sometimes if I'm just entering in edits or if it's. It's something that's kind of mindless, I'll watch a show I've watched a lot of times before, just so it's less. Less boring. So just a lot of those regular ADHD tips and tricks of trying to put in movement, try it in a different way, put something in the background, and always coffee, coffee, coffee.
- [39:25]
C
Yeah, lots of coffee.
- [39:28]
A
Even though I know I shouldn't say that since I'm also on stimulants but I never managed to give it up.
- [39:34]
C
I, you know, I tell you, life is too short to give up coffee. That's, that's my, you know, it's also too short to drink bad coffee. Like, you know, I'm not a, like, I don't drink a pot of coffee a day anymore.
- [39:45]
A
Oh, just one.
- [39:46]
B
Yep.
- [39:47]
C
Just one strong. Just one.
- [39:50]
B
Yes.
- [39:50]
C
Otherwise I get, I get anxious.
- [39:52]
A
Well, if you didn't want me to get addicted to caffeine, you should have diagnosed me at as a teen.
- [39:57]
B
All right. Any final thoughts, Katherine, that you would like to share with listeners?
- [40:03]
A
Well, I would just say, you know, if you like to write, that's awesome. If you, if you don't, that's awesome too. I think for us with Audi HD Brains, you know, just however we like to put ourselves out there is great. You know, I would never have a YouTube channel because I would. Wouldn't enjoy that at all with the, oh, how do I look? And the lighting and all the details would be really hard for me. But I think there's a place for all of us. So I hope that whatever your interest is and how you want to put yourself out there, that you, you find that and I'll be cheering you on.
- [40:41]
B
If people want to learn more about you.
- [40:44]
C
Is there a website that you'd like to share?
- [40:48]
A
Yeah, I do have a website. I hope you'll be able to spell it because it's my name, Katherine Beauty Driscoll.com, which I know is. Is terrible, but. But hopefully you'll find it. Luckily there aren't too many other Catherine Beauty Driscolls out there, so we will.
- [41:06]
C
Definitely put a link to that in the episode's show notes. So if you're like, how do you spell that? Don't worry about it. We got you covered. Just open up your. The podcast app you're listening to this on right now and tap on it. You'll see the show notes for the episode. And there you go.
- [41:20]
B
Cousin. Thank you so much. This was a lot of fun.
- [41:21]
C
Appreciate it.
- [41:22]
A
Thank you so much.
- [41:23]
B
Before you go, I just want to leave you with this. You don't have to do creativity, quote unquote, the normal way to count as a real creator. Dictate while you walk. Print it out. Bribe your brain with coffee and a familiar show. Build a weird little system that works for your weird little nervous system. There's room for all of us. And whatever your thing is, it's allowed to be your thing if it matters to you. And you can't not do it. Stop waiting for the motivation. Build the container. Borrow the structure. Let someone else hold the deadline. Starting is the hardest part. But you don't have to start alone. Learn more about everything we do. From our coaching groups to our co working community to our monthly coaching calls for patrons. All at ADHD rewired. Com. And remember, you're not behind. You're not broken. You're not even doing this wrong. You are wired for connection. And you, my friends, are not alone. So stay weird until next time.