Podcast Summary: ADHD reWired, Episode 556

Title: Hustle, Flow or Let it Go? Lessons from Burnout and Grief - with Dr. Portia Preston
Host: Eric Tivers, LCSW, ADHD-CCSP
Guest: Dr. Portia Preston
Date: September 15, 2025

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode delves deep into the lived experience of burnout, the pressure of “hustle culture,” and the journey toward sustainable, shame-free wellness, particularly through the lens of neurodivergence (ADHD, autism) and as experienced by Black women. Dr. Portia Preston, author of "Hustle, Flow or Let It Go," joins host Eric Tivers to share personal insights on reframing hustle, defining flow, letting go, and embracing grief as part of a real and meaningful life. The discussion is honest and raw, focusing on authenticity, self-compassion, and the complexity of wellness for people with ADHD.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Dr. Portia Preston’s Origin Story and the Genesis of Her Book

• Motivation for Writing: Dr. Preston wanted to find a blueprint for herself to escape cycles of overwork and shame, stating the book was the exact one she needed.

  “I wanted to find my own way out...I needed to find permission to have a more sustainable rhythm…” (06:07)

• Writing Process: Refined the book obsessively, drawing upon her own hyperfocus, leading to new concepts like the SANE Cycle and a deeper message about wellness.

  “It was my hyper fixation in its crowning glory … I was just trying to make the words sing and pop.” (07:16)

Rethinking Hustle, Flow, & Letting Go

• Hustle: More than just working hard; it’s whatever causes you to overfunction in unsustainable or self-neglecting ways. Not inherently “bad” but needs boundaries and awareness.

  “Whatever is unsustainable, whatever is having a negative impact on what you value most … if it’s having a negative impact, that’s the hustle.” (11:20, Dr. Preston)

• Flow: Expanded from the usual sense of being “in the zone” to include practices or moments, however small, that nourish and replenish you—meditation, mindful breaks, etc.

  “You shouldn’t have to leave the hustle to find flow … you want a menu, a body of practices that meet you where you are.” (13:41, Dr. Preston)

• Let It Go?: Deeply acknowledges how hard letting go is (“there’s a question mark there for a reason”). “Let it go” is about releasing unsustainable elements, even if imperfectly, and understanding this takes time and practice.

  “I want to acknowledge how hard that is … it’s part of the formula, but it’s not something we can hustle through.” (15:13, Dr. Preston)

SANE Model for Sustainable Wellness (Chapter 8)

A four-step, accessible process to interrupt unhealthy cycles:

1. Slow down and reflect
2. Acknowledge your reality (facts vs. fear-based stories)
3. Navigate with intention (anchor decisions in your values)
4. Evaluate and adapt (continuous, flexible adjustments)

“Because I have ADHD, I’m always going to have to pivot or edit a bit … I had to develop a very flexible model.” (16:21, Dr. Preston)

Grief, Burnout & Permission to Rest

• Eric’s Grieving Process: Shares openly about the recent loss of his father and grandmother, describing an ongoing journey through fog, pain, and the importance of not judging oneself.

  “Even when it just sucks, sometimes you gotta sit in the suck.” (20:55, Eric Tivers)

• Connection to Burnout: Both Eric and Dr. Preston discuss how ignoring or “hustling through” hard emotions leads to burnout and why being with discomfort is part of healing.
• Radical Acceptance: Dr. Preston reframes grief not as an inconvenience, but as “the core of life,” something that re-centers us on what matters.

  “Grief is the core of life. So maybe grief is the universe tugging at us and bringing us back to the core of who we are.” (22:57, Dr. Preston)

The “Support Squad” & Community for Neurodivergent Adults

• Solitude vs. Isolation: It’s critical to distinguish between healthy solitude and harmful isolation.
• Building Your Squad: Encouragement to cultivate a circle of support—even if small. This may be deep friends or professional supports, depending on need and context.

  “No matter who you are, even if you’re the introvertiest of introverts, it’s the idea of building the squad that you need … sometimes it’s hard to be everything to ourselves.” (25:47, Dr. Preston)

• Parallel Play & Unconditional Support: Reflections on the healing power of simply “being with” each other, without agenda or shame, even in silence or casual activities.

Intersectionality: Black Women & Neurodivergence

• Unique Presentation of ADHD/Autism: Dr. Preston shares how masking, cultural expectations, and survival strategies affect diagnosis and acceptance.

  “A lot of the hallmarks of autism and ADHD were conditioned out of us at an early age as a matter of survival … So that’s a good example.” (28:56, Dr. Preston)

• Community and Representation: Addresses how mental health stigma, lack of tailored resources, and professional bias are larger barriers for Black neurodivergent women.

Embodying Imperfection & Authenticity

• Letting Go of Performative Productivity: Both speakers underscore the liberation and necessity of dropping the mask of “having it together,” especially as coaches, educators, and public voices.
• Vulnerability as Leadership: Sharing real, messy struggles rather than just “success stories” makes space for others to be authentic and seek support.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Internalizing Hustle:

  “I internalize the hustle as my method to success. So I feel safer embracing it than I do embracing rest.” (17:16, Dr. Preston)

• On Shame and Wellness:

  “May I share something at impromptu? … There were so many days when I wanted to say those words and they would not come out … I want my readers to know and take my mask off and say, me, too, babe. Me too.” (35:43, Dr. Preston)

• On Needing Community:

  “Sometimes it’s hard to be everything to ourselves.” (27:24, Dr. Preston)

• On Permission to Rest:

  “There are some things that I end up letting go … you know what? I am a human being. This is a hyper productive society. You guys have lost your minds.” (09:08, Dr. Preston)

• On Moving Through Grief:

  “My brain doesn’t feel right … even when it just sucks, sometimes you gotta sit in the suck.” (20:55, Eric Tivers)

• On Black Women and Neurodivergence:

  “You would not know it that I’m standing underneath the table with my hands right now because I got used to at an early age unconsciously hiding my stims.” (28:56, Dr. Preston)

Important Segments & Timestamps

• 00:00-01:07 – Dr. Preston reads her Shame Free Wellness Manifesto (later revisited at 34:20)
• 06:07 – Dr. Preston on her impetus for the book
• 13:41 – Redefining "flow" and making it accessible
• 15:21 – Introduction of the SANE model, detailed explanation
• 17:16 – Dr. Preston’s most resonant line: “I internalize the hustle … than I do embracing rest.”
• 21:07-23:33 – Raw conversation on grief, grief as love, and radical acceptance
• 25:25 – Building and relying on a Support Squad
• 27:57 – Navigating intersectionality as a Black neurodivergent woman
• 34:20 – Reading of the Shame Free Wellness Manifesto
• 39:56 – Discussion on the importance of anchors and connection during difficult times
• 46:09 – Turning personal pain into a gift for others
• 47:18 – The myth of consistency and performative productivity

Episode Tone and Closing Thoughts

The tone is intimate, vulnerable, and validating. Eric and Portia move seamlessly between laughter, insight, and deep emotion—demonstrating the messiness and strength of living a neurodivergent life. Both encourage listeners repeatedly to rest, seek support, embrace mess, and unlearn perfectionism.

Resource Links

• Dr. Portia Preston’s Book: "Hustle, Flow or Let It Go"
• Dr. Portia Preston’s Website/Socials: [portiapreston.com | Instagram: @drportiapreston]
• ADHD reWired Coaching & Community: [ADHDreWired.com]
• Virtual Co-working Community: [adultstudyhall.com]

For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode offers a lifeline for anyone trapped in cycles of burnout, shame or grief—especially for those with ADHD or who feel marginalized. Through powerful reframing and honest storytelling, Dr. Preston and Eric Tivers model how sustainable wellness grows not from striving and perfection, but from rest, honest reflection, and courageous connection.