Podcast
Adult Child
Hosted by Andrea Ashley · EN
Adult Child dives deep into the lasting effects of growing up in dysfunctional families—unpacking complex and relational trauma, codependency, toxic shame, and addiction patterns with raw vulnerability and unapologetic authenticity.
Hosted by Andrea Ashley, a recovering shitshow with 17 years sober, each episode shares unfiltered insights, expert conversations, and practical tools to heal your nervous system and break free from the cycles that hold you back.
Whether you’re an adult child of alcoholics or from a dysfunctional family, navigating toxic relationships, or healing your inner child, this is your no-BS space for healing. New episodes every Wednesday & Saturday.
And damn the join The Shitshow Healing Community for live support groups and connection with fellow cycle breakers.
103episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
227 - Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers: The Golden Child's Grief w/ Taylor Pearl
Apr 2201:07:11Tap to summarizeThe moment you finally see a parent clearly is the moment the grief begins.Taylor Pearl is a therapist specializing in complex trauma, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and survivors of narcissistic abuse. She grew up as the golden child to her brother's scapegoat in a controlling, image-obsessed home with a narcissistic father. This episode is about what the good daughter has to grieve when she finally stops playing the part: the father she thought she had, the role that kept her loved, and the self she's been rebuilding ever since.✨ What this episode explores▪️ The Golden Child's Specific Grief — Why leaving the parent who "chose" you carries a grief the scapegoat doesn't have to carry.▪️ The Identified Patient vs. the Narcissistic Scapegoat — The difference between being told "there's something pathologically wrong with you" and being told "you are inherently bad."▪️The Grief of Going No Contact — What actually follows cutting off a parent: the relief, the regression, and the grief that doesn't end on any timeline.▪️ The Sibling You Lose When You Heal — Why your closest sibling bonds often crumble the moment you stop playing your role, and why siblings still stuck in the dysfunction can experience your healing as betrayal.▪️ What Real Repair With a Parent Requires — What a parent actually has to acknowledge for the relationship to rebuild, and what it means when they can't.Taylor's IGTaylor TikTok-----------------------🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:▪️ Ep 125 | Healing From Toxic & Narcissistic Parents w/ Jerry Wise▪️Ep 123 | Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents w/ Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson▪️Ep 153 | When Shame Becomes Our Identity: Toxic Shame & Scapegoat Abuse-----------------------⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Shitshow Saturday #200 - The Return of Jenny
Apr 1800:41:35Tap to summarizeJenny's first appearance on the pod - Shitshow Saturday #129⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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226 - Losing Yourself in Love: Why You Become Whoever They Need You to Be w/ Tammy Sollenberger
Apr 1500:52:19Tap to summarizeTammy Sollenberger is an IFS therapist and host of The One Inside podcast, and today she's not holding back. She shares about the sudden loss of her father and a devastating breakup — and how both pulled her back to a wound she's been carrying since before she was born: unwanted.✨ What this episode explores▪️Grieving a Parent You Had a Complicated Relationship With — What it's like to mourn someone who both loved you and failed you.▪️Hiding Yourself to Keep Them — The many ways you disappear to stay in relationship, from losing your voice to hiding the parts of yourself that feel too risky to share.▪️Healthy vs. Unhealthy Reassurance — The difference between co-regulation and handing your whole nervous system over to someone else to manage.▪️The Wound of Being Unwanted — How feeling unwanted as a child becomes the reason you settle for crumbs as an adult▪️Connecting With Preverbal Parts — How to reach the parts of you that formed in utero or infancy, long before you had language for what you were experiencing.-----------------------🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:▪️Ep 190 | The Purpose of Our Pain: IFS Therapy to Heal Complex Trauma w/ Tammy Sollenberger▪️Ep 204 | The Deeper Truth About Fawning: How Survival Turns Into Self-Abandonment w/ Ingrid Clayton▪️Ep 140 | Healing from Emotionally Immature Parents: Grief Behind Anger w/ Morgan Pommells-----------------------⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Shitshow Saturday #199 - The 4 Alarms of Hypervigilance
Apr 1100:31:08Tap to summarize⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.com`Our Sponsors:* Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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225 - The Deepest Wounds, the Darkest Shame: Covert Incest, Relapse & Radical Self-Compassion w/ Paul Gilmartin
Apr 801:26:26Tap to summarizeThe parts of you that carry the most shame are the parts that most need to be seen.Paul Gilmartin, host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour, is back on Adult Child for the third time, and this is the most vulnerable he's ever been. He shares the story of his recent relapse, how the covert incest he survived as a child shaped his sexuality in ways he's been ashamed of for most of his life, and what it took to finally get honest about all of it. This conversation is about what it takes to let people see the parts of you that you've been hiding the hardest.✨ What this episode explores▪️ Sexual Shame After Abuse — How childhood sexual abuse can rewire your arousal patterns so that what turns you on echoes the abuse itself▪️ When Abuse Hides as Care — How to recognize covert incest when there was no single "event" to point to, just a parent whose love always felt like it was taking something from you.▪️ The Inner Critic Is an Inner Abuser — Why your nervous system responds to your own self-talk the same way it would respond to an external threat, and what that means for how you talk to yourself in recovery.▪️ The Corrective Relationship — How to identify whether a partner is loving you in spite of your darkest parts or actually loving all of you, and why that distinction changes everything.▪️ Relapse as a Doorway — How to use a relapse to trace the thread back to the original wound instead of getting stuck in the shame spiral that keeps the cycle going.▪️ Accessing Self-Compassion — What it actually looks like to be gentle with yourself while you're still in the mess, not after you've cleaned it up.-----------------------🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:▪️ Ep 124 | Intimacy Disorders & Childhood Trauma w/ Paul Gilmartin▪️ Ep 160 | Betrayal Bonds, Enmeshment and Sex Addiction w/ Dr. Lara Dye▪️ Ep 163 | Breaking The Shame: Adult Children of Sex Addicts w/ Dr. Kenneth Adams -----------------------⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Shitshow Saturday #198 - The Return of Nate
Apr 400:34:22Tap to summarize⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.com`Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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224 - Scared to Be Seen: Finding Authenticity Through Parts Work w/ Jesse Deal
Apr 101:04:15Tap to summarizeThe moment you finally see yourself is the moment you no longer fear being seen.Jesse Deal is a trauma recovery coach, parts work practitioner, and host of the podcast Trauma Unbound. After a lifetime of playing it small, he walked away from the life he'd been surviving in and started building the one he was actually meant for. This is a conversation about the fear of being seen, finding authenticity through parts work, and what happens when you stop waiting to have it all together and just go.✨ What this episode explores:▪️ Why Being Seen Feels Dangerous — Where the fear of being visible comes from and how to start dismantling the false story it's been telling you▪️ Your Body as a Guide — How somatic awareness shows you what needs to change and points you toward a life that actually fits.▪️ From Learned Helplessness to Hopefulness — How to start building the belief that the world can actually be safe and supportive.▪️ What Parts Work Looks Like in Real Time — What it actually sounds like when someone checks in with a protector mid-conversation and comes out the other side more grounded.▪️ When Authenticity Feels Unsafe — How learning your feelings were "too much" as a kid taught you that being yourself is what gets you hurt.Jesse's Links🔗 Website.| YouTube | IG. | Apple Podcast | Spotify-----------------------🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:▪️Ep 168 | The Fragmented Self: Parts Work & Dissociation w/ Jesse D.▪️Ep 190 | The Purpose of Our Pain: IFS Therapy to Heal Complex Trauma w/ Tammy Sollenberger▪️Ep 145 | The Journey to Emotional Authenticity w/ Kenny Weiss-----------------------⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Shitshow Saturday #197 - Wendy N.
Mar 2800:39:55Tap to summarize⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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223 - Love That Looks Like Rescue: Trauma Bonds & Outgrowing Relationships w/ Marina Triner
Mar 2501:01:23Tap to summarizeWhen the person you're trying to save feels exactly like the parent you couldn't.Marina Triner is a somatic coach and host of the Deep Within podcast who helps people move through deep-rooted patterns of stress, emotional disconnection, and shutdown through nervous system regulation and body-based healing. In today's episode, she shares how outgrowing her marriage allowed her to access deeper truths about her parents, her childhood, and deeply rooted patterns she hadn't seen before. ✨ What this episode explores:▪️What Happens When You Heal and They Don't — Why outgrowing a relationship and the guilt of leaving can feel heavier than the pain of staying. ▪️The Relationships That Keep You From Seeing the Truth — How a partner can block you from from facing what's actually unresolved with your parents, your childhood, and yourself.▪️Why You Can't Stop Trying to Save Them — How the fixer pattern was never about the other person; it was about the child inside you refusing to give up on saving your parent.▪️The Shame of "I Should Be Further Along" — Why years of healing don't make you immune to old patterns, and why falling back in isn't proof you've failed.▪️When Asking for Help Is the Breakthrough — How letting people see you fall apart can be the most radical thing you do for your healing.🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:▪️ Ep 201 | Trauma-Bonded No More — My Journey Through Shame, Regression & Finding My Way Back ▪️ Ep 142 | Terry Real on Relational Trauma, Love Addiction and Shame ▪️ Ep 130 | Addicted to Fear & Chaos: The Adult Child Inner Drug Store w/ Dr. Scott Lyons-----------------------⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Shitshow Saturday #196 - Sarah O.
Mar 2100:49:14Tap to summarize⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Time4Learning: https://www.time4learning.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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