← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
440 | Insecurities Don’t Define You. The Beauty of Being Seen. Learning to Love the Parts of Me I Once Hated
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Why is it that as we get older, it feels harder and harder to get our bodies to cooperate? We're out here trying everything, measuring this, avoiding that, eating the yogurts, drinking those sodas, and still not feeling like we've cracked the code. But what if the answer was simpler than we've been making it? Scientists now say the gut is the cornerstone of our health. It affects everything. Our energy, our mood, our sleep, even how we manage our weight. As women who just want to feel our best. I'm happy to say that Bioma takes the guesswork out of gut health with just two little capsules before breakfast. No fuss, no overwhelm, just the good stuff. Your body needs prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics all working together to help you finally feel imbalanced. And that's backed by science, baby. So if you're curious and ready to take the guesswork out of feeling your best, visit gobioma.com affirmations today y'. All. I'm so serious. I want us all walking into this next season feeling strong, clear, and taken care of from the inside out. So again, visit gobioma.com affirmations today. That's G O B I O M A.com affirmations oh Lord Y', all, I simply cannot be stopped. I'm thinking about hosting a few things this season. Of course that is so on brand for me. So to make sure that the vibes are vibing in my apartment, you know, more seating, warmer bedding, fun cookware and pops of color in the kitchen. And y' all know I love a budget friendly glow up. Wayfair already has everything home related like literally everything from sofas and spatulas to home improvement and outdoor decor. But baby, their Black Friday sale, it is dangerous in the best way. We're talking up to 70% off all month long now of course your girl had to peruse and I have been itching to get a new grill for my balcony y' all for a while now. So when I saw the Ninja Sizzle Pro, I had to add to cart immediately. Okay, I'm just excited to finally cook some cozy meals right on my balcony instead of going all the way up to my rooftop where it's cold, it be dark and it's super far away from my apartment. No matter what your style, you can count on Wayfair for pieces that you won't find anywhere else. Plus fast easy delivery even on the big stuff. So before everyone shows up for friendsgiving, Thanksgiving, holiday, game night, whatever, get your home right while the deals are dealing, honey. Ok? So don't miss out on early Black Friday deals. Head to Wayfarer.com now to shop Wayfair's Black Friday deals for up to 70% off. That's W A Y F A I R.com the sale ends December 7th. When I was growing up, one of my biggest insecurities was the most visible thing on my body, my skin tone. Back in the early 2000s, being darker skinned and growing up in the south was basically a guaranteed way to get called names like black or tar baby or to be the butt of someone's joke. And I carried that with me for years, feeling like I wasn't enough, like I would never, ever measure up, like I needed to change something about myself that was an integral part of who. Who I am. And if left unchecked, those early insecurities don't just stay small. They evolve. They start speaking in different voices in your head. You're not good enough. I'll never be this, you'll never be that. You'll never achieve this or that. And just like that, the confidence you start to build can feel fragile. And I'll be honest with y'. All. It wasn't until I heard Brown Skin Girl by Beyonce that something clicked. Hearing about my skin tone being celebrated, it wasn't just a song for me. It was a revelation. And it made me realize that the parts of me that I had criticized for so long deserved attention and care and celebration. The thing about insecurities is that they may never fully disappear. Just when you start to feel confident, to feel cute, feel like, I got this one comment, one photo, one comparison can send you spiraling, but here is the truth. Insecurities are not the enemy. They're just the parts of us that still need love, attention, and a little bit of patience. Powerful. What is going on? Beautiful people? You are listening to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves. I am your host, Tyra, the creative actress, content creator, and mental health enthusiast. And I honestly cannot believe that we have not spoken on this topic before on a podcast. I think about it all the time and I just can't believe I haven't talked about it yet. But if y' all enjoy this episode today, I think I may want to speak on it a little more often. So make sure that you send us an email if you like the episode. I want to say that now because it's going to gauge if I am going to talk about this a Little more. So the first thing I want to do is to pose a question to y'. All. What if every insecurity was actually an invitation to heal that part of you? I want you to think about it. The parts of yourself that you criticize, the things that you cover up or wish that you could change, those are often the same parts that make you human, relatable and real, raw and regular. Okay? They're the cracks that tend to let the light in. And if we can learn to see them as opportunities instead of obstacles, that's where true confidence, self love, and joy start to grow. So before we dive into everything I want to discuss today, we have to jump into our affirmation of the week. This week's affirmation is I am worthy of being seen and celebrated exactly as I am. Let's go ahead and drop in, y'. All. I am worthy of being seen and celebrated exactly as I am. I am worthy of being seen and celebrated exactly as I am. I am worthy of being seen and celebrated exactly as I am. I am worthy of being seen and celebrated exactly as I am. What does being seen feel like? What does being celebrated look like for you? I am worthy of being seen and celebrated exactly as I am. Let's go ahead and say it one last time together. I am worthy of being seen and celebrated exactly as I am, y'. All. I am worthy of being seen and celebrated exactly as I am. I think this is one of my more favorite affirmations that we've said on the show, because being seen isn't just about perfection or having all the answers or checking off everyone else's expectations. It's about showing up fully with all your quirks, with all your scars and your stories. It's about giving yourself permission to be visible, even the parts of you that you used to hide or criticize. So when you say, I am worthy of being seen and celebrated exactly as I am, I think you're telling those critical voices in your own head the you're not enough and the you'll never get their voices that they don't get to run the show anymore. You are choosing to honor yourself unapologetically and to embrace every part of who you are, even the parts that used to feel uncomfortable or unworthy. Because the parts of you that feel the hardest to love are usually the ones with the most magic inside of them, the most depth and the most to give to the world. There are a million and one ways that insecurity shows up in our lives. Insecurities can be loud they can also be quiet. They can be subtle or even obvious. But one thing is for sure, they love to sneak in and make themselves at home. Now I'm going to give you the definition of insecurity. Insecurity is feeling unsure about oneself, one's abilities, appearance, or your worth. Now I think a lot of insecurities can show up as comparison, like scrolling through social media, like why don't I look like her? Or why isn't my life like that? I know I'm dealing with that a lot in my life right now. But insecurities can also show up as self doubt. That little voice that you hear that says you're not enough or you'll never be enough, or you'll never get there. And sometimes insecurities can masquerade themselves as overcompensation, trying to control everything because we're afraid of showing the parts of ourselves that we think are weak. And they even may hide in the silence. And that can look like avoiding opportunities, not speaking up for yourself, or staying in the background because we have a fear of being seen. There are also tons of different insecurities. There's ones like I touched on your skin tone, feeling too dark or too light compared to other people, or wishing you had a more even complexion, or fewer blemishes. Or comparing your skin to different celebrities or social media influencers. Then we have ones about weight and body shape. You feel like you're too big, too small in certain areas, or obsessing over clothes fitting you a certain way, or comparing your body to friends, family or media images. There's even nicknames or different names that people call you. Like feeling embarrassed by a childhood nickname, thinking that your name is unusual or it doesn't really fit your personality, or worrying that people might tease or judge you because of your name. And then we have some that are more personality traits or behaviors. Like you're thinking that you are too quiet, too loud or too weird, feeling socially awkward, or feeling like you're not enough in conversation because you're worrying about your quirks and maybe they aren't lovable or accepted by others. And I'll say this, I dealt with all of these growing up. I used to be hyper aware of my skin tone. Growing up, being darker skinned in the south meant I heard names and jokes and microaggressions that made me question my worth. And something that I struggled with once I got to high school was the fact that there was no drugstore makeup that matched my skin tone. And because I wanted to be cute like all the other girls. But that in itself reinforced the subconscious idea in me that beauty is not for me. I was also thicker than a snicker in high school. Okay. And my height, My height and my weight. My family would say that I was big boneded, which is not a real thing, y'. All. And later on in school, people told me that I was too loud, which then started to make me feel weird about my personality. And I will say that today, I am happy to say that the only insecurity that is still, like, inside of me is my weight. Now, for the most part, I really love how I look, but there are still some things that I want to change naturally. Okay? Naturally when I look in the mirror. So something that helps with that insecurity that I have been dealing with is definitely the mjoi app. I have told y' all about that on the podcast before, and it's a great app for your physical appearance. And I've talked about an exercise that I've done on that app where literally they will tell you to get naked and stand in front of the mirror and only talk about the things you love about yourself. And I do it to this day. Like, I don't even open the app to do it, but I do it to this day. I think that was a great exercise for me because it forced my brain to see all of the good things that I love about my body, and I really did start to see those things over all of the things that I want to change. I do think we live in a world that is hyper connected and it's way easier for our insecurities to scream to the top of their lungs inside of our heads. And that is something that I also keep in mind when I'm thinking about the things that I am insecure about these days. But I'll put the link to the mJoy app down in the show notes of this episode. I have put it down there before, but it's e M J o y the mJoy app, and I think it's available on Android and Apple, but I'm not completely sure I have Apple, so I know that it's available there. But the greatest thing about that is that it just instills confidence in you in all types of ways. There's a lot of stuff that on that app that will help you, like with your relationship to your sexual wellness as well, which is another topic that I think we should talk about on the show in the future. But I really love that app, specifically for the exercises around body insecurity and Stuff. But insecurities, y' all affect us socially, behaviorally and even neurologically. Insecurity is essentially the brain treating social evaluation as a threat, triggering fear, stress and avoidance behaviors. And over time this can rewire our thinking patterns, making us more reactive to judgment and less confident in our abilities, which affects how we show up in relationships, how we show up at work and society. Insecurities shape how we interact with each other. Let's take a look at social withdrawal. People may avoid social situations to prevent judgment or embarrassment. I have definitely been there. It can also cause people pleasing. We have heard about that a lot. So it can show its way in seeking constant approval to feel worthy or accepted. Comparison and envy. Measuring yourself against others can create resentment or lower your confidence. And then also conflict avoidance, the fear of being criticized can make it hard to express opinions or set our boundaries. And we also touched on this one a little earlier. But overcompensation, trying to appear perfect, talented or superior to mask feelings of inadequacy. These behaviors can limit opportunities. They can limit our relationships and even our career growth. Because insecurity often makes people hesitant to take risks. I also know that insecurity can trigger mental patterns in our brain like hypervigilance. That's something that I dealt with when I was in high school. I was constantly scanning for signs of judgment, which can increase your stress or negative self talk. The brain rehearses self critical thoughts repeatedly, which reinforces low self esteem. We can also start to ruminate on things, which means you will replay social interactions that you had, worrying about mistakes or judgment, which is linked to anxiety and depression. And here's why. Insecurities feel so powerful and like so automatic. This is a little bit of the neuroscience behind it. So your amygdala, which is the brain's threat detector, is triggered when we perceive social judgment or rejection. Even mild criticism can feel like danger. And then when it comes to your prefrontal cortex, normally it helps regulate emotions and rational thought. But in insecurity, it can become very overwhelmed, which makes it harder to manage your fear or your self doubt. And then when we look at the part of our brain that has our dopamine and our reward pathways, insecure people may seek approval or validation as a reward. Social likes compliments or reassuring. Temporarily released dopamine, which reinforces that behavior. And there's also this thing where humans naturally mimic and absorb social cues. We see that a lot on social media. So if you are more insecure, you may hyper focus on others reactions, heightening your self consciousness and I wanted to share all of this neuroscience behind all of this, because the biggest thing about it is it shows that you are not broken. It is the science of it all. And a lot of people feel ashamed of their insecurities. But understanding that your brain is wired to respond this way normalizes your experience, and it helps you know that it's biology and it's not a personal flaw. And it also gives you a roadmap to start to change those things. So knowing which areas of your brain is involved, like we talked about, the amygdala, the prefrontal cortex, and also our reward pathways, it can also help you target strategies. So mindfulness or cognitive behavioral techniques like journaling or reframing your negative self talk. And we've talked about these things a lot. And exposure exercises like facing your fears in steps or social exposure can retrain the brain to respond differently. I say all that because insecurity is essentially the brain treating social evaluation, going out and, you know, people criticizing you and all of that stuff as a threat. And it triggers the fear, the stress, and the avoidance behaviors. And over time, this rewires our thinking patterns, which makes us more reactive to judgment and less confident in ourselves, which affects how we show up at work in society and affects our decision making skills. So I want you guys to think about a couple things which insecurities still follow you around today, and how do they influence your choices today? So let me ask you guys a couple of serious questions. Do your joints feel older than you, and do you really know what's going on inside of your body? Yeah, me either. Y'. All. Now y' all know. Whenever I go home to Louisiana, family time is everything to me. When we're all together, I'm always so grateful for that quality time. It always reminds me to take care of myself so that I can keep making memories with the people I love for years to come. And I'm ready to get even more serious about that. So I just learned about True Diagnostic and their true age plus true health test. Y'. All. This ain't nothing like a grade school test, okay? But the more research I do on it, the more I'm interested. Did you know that a single painless finger prick at home can lead you to over 180 personalized insights into your health and how your age, aging. On one hand, Tru Health runs tests to look over 100 biomarkers, which is stuff like your vitamin levels and nutrient balance, your immune system, and even stuff like gut and cognitive health. On the other hand, True age goes even deeper, y'. All. Their test shows your biological age, which is the pace of your aging. And it shows how important organs and systems like your heart, your brain, your liver and your immune system are aging. Which means I'm 30 years old and my biological age could be more more than 30, or it can even be less than 30 years old. And this test will help to show me where I'm at. So this is a full snapshot of how your body's really doing on the inside. And with an easy to read report and personalized recommendations, I honestly feel like this is a tool that can help me actually stay on top of my health and put energy into the right habits where I'm not just guessing all the time. So if you want to dig a little deeper and if you're serious about living healthier and longer, visit True Diagnostic with and use my code affirmations for 20% off your entire order or subscription. That's truediagnostic.com code affirmations for 20% off your future self will. Thank you. Okay y', all, picture this. A candle is lit, your favorite book, and a story that sweeps you completely away. Suddenly you're at a lavish Regency house party surrounded by corsets, champagne and secret. And somehow you've caught the eye of not only one, not two, but three very eligible men. Now what's a girl to do? If that sounds like your kind of chaos, baby, you need to grab His Grace the Duke by New York Times best selling author Emily Rath, who is also known for the Second Son series. Okay, so boom. This book follows Rosalie, someone who is rewriting the rules of high society for herself. It's smart, sexy, and gives you all the emotional payoff. Re releasing with a gorgeous new cover, this deluxe limited edition printing is a stunner. We're talking stenciled edges, exclusive character art, and elegant design elements that'll make it the crown jewel of your bookshelf. Available while supplies last. And y', all, I got mine and baby, I'm keeping it front and center. Okay, now it officially goes on sale on October October 28, 2025. So this is your sign to add it to your fall reading list right now. So if you've been wanting to mix up your reading routine and dive into a new genre that feels rich and romantic, do not sleep on this book. Especially with the series getting a stunning new set of covers with limited edition sprayed edges and character art. His Grace the Duke is on sale October 28th and is available for pre order and purchase wherever books are sold. Okay, can I let y' all in on a little secret that you probably already know? I love giving a good gift. And honestly, it is for selfish reasons. But it's because I get excited when I find a gift that feels super personal and perfect for the person that I'm giving it to. Because one thing's for sure, I'm not about to show up empty handed or with something basic. Okay, now let me refresh y' all's memory on Uncommon Goods before the holiday season arrives because their site is packed with unique gifts that you will not see anywhere else. Now, I love planning ahead, so of course I started bookmarking some things that you would never find in a regular store. But what really stopped me dead in my tracks this time, y', all, as I was perusing on the site, was the fact that Uncommon Goods has experiences that you can gift to your loved ones. I'm talking classes, cooking workshops, crafting tastings, and and all kinds of creative adventures. That's not just a gift. That's a memory. Uncommon Goods has something for literally everybody. From moms and dads to kids and teens, from book lovers, history buffs, and die hard football fans to foodies and avid gardeners, you'll find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else. Plus, every time you shop, you're supporting independent artists and small businesses. And they even give back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice. So shop early, have fun, and cross some names off your list today. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com affirmations that's Uncommon Goods affirmations for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary. I think hate is a little too strong of a word. But there are parts of myself growing up that I didn't love. And it took until my late 20s to start loving. And there is a freedom that comes when you start showing love to the parts of yourself that you used to push away. Your insecurities are not your enemies, y'. All. They are signals. They are thoughts that are really whispering. Hey, this part of me needs some attention and some love and some care. And when you start listening and leaning into soothing those parts of yourself, amazing things can happen. So the catalyst to loving the skin that I'm in was definitely the relationship with the guy that I moved to LA with. I've talked about this all the time, but I told y' all this when he told me that I dressed too manly. That really hurt my feelings. But this is one of those instances where I love the fact that I am more of a solution oriented person. So I was chatting with my therapist and I was telling her about the entire situation. And once I asked her, once I finished, she asked me, well, how do you want to dress? Do you want to dress differently? Do you want to continue dressing like this? And to be clear, neither her or me thought that I dressed masculine. I just loved wearing oversized plaid shirts. And that man was telling me, since I wear plaid shirts, I look like a lumberjack. That's the type of stuff that he would say to me. But I started telling her all of the things that I was interested in doing that I wanted to start wearing heels again, which was something that I stopped because of that man, because he felt inferior because of my height. I was taller than him in heels. I wanted to wear more perfumes that made me feel good and smell good. And I do have a quick story that I want to tell y'. All. So I did mention once in that relationship that I wanted to start wearing, like, more perfumes and stuff. And granted, he listened or whatever, but one day this man came home with an open box perfume. It was Estee Lauder. I don't even remember what it smelled like, but it smelled like everybody's great grandma. Like, that's how it smelled. And it wasn't in a box or in a bag or anything. And he just came in the house and he threw it at me one day and was, like, surprised. Like, he didn't throw it at me, but he, like, tossed it towards me. And I was like, oh, okay, y', all, that perfume stank. Anyways, these are things that I had already started to show that I started to show that I was interested in incorporating into my life a little more. So I was telling her about that. I also told her that I wanted to get my hair done more often and I wanted to fall in love with my self care routine. And when I finished telling her all of this stuff, she was like, so do it. Go ahead and do it. And I was like, you know what? You right, I am going to go ahead and do it. So that day, after I got off the phone with her, I ended up saying, okay, Tyra, we're about to go to Sephora and sniff a bunch of perfumes. And I ended up picking out a perfume that I love. And what ended up coming out of that experience was now I always go into Sephora and I pick out scents or I have like a little perfume date Where I go and sniff things and try it on, see if it matches my body chemistry, all of this type of stuff. And now I'm a perfume girl. I am a scent girl. My collection is extensive. Like, I'm literally looking at it now. It's over here. It's three shelves worth of scents. And I'm just so excited that that is something positive that came out of such a, you know, like a negative time in my life. And what I realized was that this became something on a dopamine menu because it made me so happy. So a practical tool to like getting out of those insecurities are dopamine menus, so you can build a list of small, joyful activities that make you feel good about yourself. It could be dancing in the kitchen, going to sniff those new scents at a perfume shop, or making your favorite coffee, or simply stepping outside for a walk. These small doses of happiness retrain your brain to associate self appreciation with action, which is actually very dope. You can also journal. We talk about journaling all the time. Y' all jot down things that you genuinely love about yourself every day. Even one line counts. And over time, your brain starts noticing what's already beautiful about you instead of only what you need to fix. And that also goes hand in hand with the exercise that I did in the mJoy app, which is amazing. Then there's self affirmations. That's what. That's really one of the reasons this podcast started. So talk to yourself like you talk to a close friend. Say the words you need to hear out loud. Affirmations. I am worthy of love. I am enough. I am worthy of being seen. I am. My quirks are my power and let them sink in. And something that I am still working on. I feel like a lot of us work on this and it just is what it is. But learn how to take a compliment. When someone gives you praise, resist the urge to deflect or downplay it. Simply say thank you and let it land. Every compliment you accept is a small act of self validation. I know something that I am a little. I'm not gonna say insecure cause I'm not insecure about it. But something that I'm a little self conscious about is my smile. And that is one of the biggest compliments I get. So people will say, oh my gosh, you have such a pretty smile. And once they do, I'm like, thank you. I immediately cover my mouth because, long story short, my wisdom teeth have grown in and they're causing my teeth to crowd and since my teeth had started to crowd. One of my teeth. One of my. Yeah, one of my teeth is crooked. Tyra, stop looking at the little things. Don't nobody care about that. You got a pretty set of pearly white teeth. It is. Okay. That's what I have to constantly tell myself, so I'm getting way better at it. The last time somebody complimented my smile, I was just like, thank you. And I left it at that. I know. Another tactic that I will use to deflect is to mirror that same compliment. Like, if somebody says to me, oh my gosh, I love your hair, I'll be like, I love your hair too. It's so cute. That is okay to compliment somebody else, but take a second to really let their compliment land for you. But that's something that I'm working on. Don't forget to celebrate the small wins, even if they're super small. Did you rock your outfit even though you doubted it? Celebrate that, y'. All. I used to be so self conscious about wearing bright colors because they make me look darker. And now every time I put together an outfit that pops, I celebrate on my way out the door because I know how long I have come. Confidence is built in tiny, intentional moments. So for this, I want you guys to think about a couple of things. What parts of you do you now appreciate that you once rejected? And how can small daily actions remind you of your worth? Now, y' all already know that I have been in my cozy hobby era. It's just that time of year that makes you want to slow down, light a candle, and actually learn something new again, right? But between the podcast, my work, and trying to stay social, I wanted a way to grow that still feels fun and relaxing. So the other night, I was watching a masterclass, and let me tell you, by the end of it, I was taking notes like I was back in school. School. But it doesn't feel like school. It's just real people who've mastered their craft showing you exactly how they do it. With masterclass, you get to learn from the best to become your best. With plans starting at just $10 a month billed annually, you get unlimited access to over 200 plus classes taught by the world's best business leaders, writers, chefs, and more. Memberships include downloadable bonus class guides. We love a good guide and a good workbook and content to help you make the most of your learning experience. Lately, I've been really leaning into the cooking ones to get ready for the holidays, and it's honestly been so peaceful to put something educational on while I cook or while I wind down. You learn something new and it kind of feels like self care time. So right now our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership@masterclass.com affirmations that's 15% off@masterclass.com affirmations masterclass.com affirmations learning to be seen when insecurity makes you want to shrink and hide is all about building self awareness, courage and just practicing. The first thing you have to do is acknowledge your insecurity. Literally. Name it y'. All. Be honest about the fear or the self doubt that is holding you back. Like I feel nervous sharing my ideas because I worry people will judge me. I am self conscious about my skin tone because people are always calling me Midnight Awareness is the first step to being seen and you can't grow without seeing what's really happening inside, right? And I will say a lot of times external validation can help with this, but it's important. It's also important to recognize when you rely a little too much on external validation. So I'm talking about compliments, praise and acknowledgement from others. They can feel amazing, but the key is letting them land without making your self worth dependent on that them. That moment when someone says you girl, you look amazing or you did a great job or girl I love that outfit and you actually hear it, believe it and say it. Say to yourself, hell yeah, you know what? That's right. I am dope. That's when external validation can help you strengthen internal recognition. External validation is just to give you an actual definition other people confirming your value. Internal recognition is you owning and affirming your own value whether or not anyone else notices. So leaning into things you love like your hobbies, fashion, beauty routines, creative projects. Let your passion show up in your life unapologetically. And when you do what you love, your energy and your confidence naturally becomes visible. You can also share your authentic self in spaces that feel safe. This could be with your friends, with your family, or even in online communities where your voice is valued. Vulnerability does not make you weak, it makes connection possible. So again, some practical resources to help with this internal recognition the mjoi app. I'm gonna scream that to the rooftops. It's a self love and do the self love exercises and the daily reminders to celebrate yourself. You can also journal use voice memos. I've done that in the past but or podcasting like this. Or vlogging. Some creative ways to express yourself and document your growth so you can go back and look like dang, last year, this is where I was. Look how far I've come. You can also use mentorship or support groups. Communities focused on Black women's self empowerment can amplify your confidence and help you truly full see, feel seen. And you can also tie in your dopamine menus. You can celebrate small wins and visible progress. Whether it is finishing a project or sharing a compliment or posting something brave online. It releases dopamine and reinforces your self confidence. So when was the last time that you truly felt seen? And how can you create more opportunities to be seen both by yourself and by others? And which actions or projects make you feel proud of yourself even if nobody else notices? Insecurities don't define you. They're tricky, complicated and sometimes loud. But they are just a part of your story, not the whole story. Every time you choose to show up for yourself through the doubt, every time you celebrate a small win, journal a thought, or add something joyful to your dopamine menu, you are actively rewriting the narrative. You're teaching your brain that you deserve kindness, especially from yourself. And when I think back to Brown Skin Girl Y', all, that song wasn't just a bop. It was a moment of deep healing for me, y'. All. Representation matters. Growing up, I rarely saw myself celebrated in mainstream media. Seeing your shade, your beauty being affirmed in a song by the Beyonce, it was extremely validating. And for someone like me from Louisiana, where colorism and beauty standards were and still are running rampant, hearing that celebration challenged years of internalized messaging. It was healing for me in so many ways, but it's emotional too. The song was like a mirror and a release for me. You are beautiful, you are seen, you are worthy. After carrying years of doubt and comparison and wondering why my God given skin tone was something seen as less than, that validation hits well, it hit me in the chest. And sometimes, yes, it brings tears to my eyes because the song saw me, it affirmed me, and it celebrated me in a way that the world has not always done and one that I realized in that first moment when I broke down and cried that it was something that I desperately needed in my life at that time. Lyrics like Melanin too dark to throw her shade spoke directly to my experience. It was recognition, it was pride, and it was affirmation all at once. And there's also the communal joy that I felt being a part of a larger celebration of black beauty. It was joy, it was nostalgia and relief that was all rolled up into one moment. And that's what being seen can feel like you're not your insecurities. You are the courage it takes to face them. The patience and the softness that it takes to heal through and the light that shines through those cracks when you stop hiding. So celebrate the parts of yourself that you once rejected. Your skin, your body, your smile, your quirks, your energy. Because that's where confidence and self love and joy truly live. So give yourself permission to be seen, even while you're still figuring out things and even if it feels a little icky. Celebrate the wins. Practice self love. Try new things and make mistakes. And remember that growth isn't about perfection. It's about progress. And you are enough just as you are. Uh oh, y', all, you know what time it is? It is time for our fun closing segment. And today's closing segment is recommendation of the day. I thought this would be a great closing segment for today because we talked about a little bit about insecurities. And like I said, one of my biggest insecurities growing up was my dark complexion, which I absolutely love these days, y'. All. I just really want to reiterate that I love the skin that I'm in. I. Every day I look in the mirror, I'm like, I am such a chocolate girl. I just love how chocolate I am. And it's also one of the biggest compliments I get now because I take care of my skin and I just want it to be glowy and chocolate and baby, when I have an all brown outfit, don't even get me started. But that's not why we're here. We are here to talk about recommendation of the day. So I'm going to show you guys a couple of things that I have been loving ever since I decided that I was going to love on myself a little bit more. Like I said, I go to sniff perfumes all the time. And two of my current faves is the Sol de Janeiro. Don't even know how to pronounce it, but it's the. It's the only perfume that they actually have, but it's their perfume. And it's called Don't Churrosa 62. Absolutely freaking love this, y'. All. This perfume. Let me just say it smells. I don't even. I should have pulled up the notes. I didn't even think about it. Okay, so for the Sol churrosa 62, the notes are. It's in the fragrance family. Warm and spicy. And the scent type is a sweet gourmand, which means, like, kind of like bakery. What does gourmand actually mean, like, food, right? Yes. So for a fragrance, it's a perfume that incorporates scents inspired by edible items such as vanilla, coffee, chocolate, or candy. So, yes, the key notes in this is pistachio, jasmine petals, and salted caramel, y'. All. This is what I will say. Men can't keep their hands off me when I wear this. I'm not even gonna lie. And I will just say that I have had a little while to test it out. And what I will say else is what else I will say is that whenever any of my friends ask me about a scent, like, what scent should I get or what scent should I wear? I'm like, y' all need to get this Sol de Janeiro and thank me later, baby. I have the perfume, I have the body oil, and I also use the body butter. I'm just telling y', all, thank me later. I will link this down below in the show notes, but you need to get this now. They also have a travel size if you want to try it out first. But it is just so warm and yummy. And I'mma just say, all the people that I done wore this around, all the men that I done wore this around, they done loved it. So I'mma just leave that where it's at. That's all I'm going to say about that. And then one of my other favorite scents right now is the Kayali sparkling lychee with keynotes of black currant, sparkling lychee, rose, Damascus, candied violet, sugared amber, and sandalwood. So it's very, like. It just immediately makes my mouth water. It's very fruity or very fruit forward, but it's also very crisp. Like, think about, you know, how they have, like, those scents with, like, apple in it. It's giving that, but doesn't smell like apple. It smells like lychee, honestly. But it's very crisp, just like anything that you get that's very apple, for which I love. It's also a little fresh and a little warm. Just the tiniest bit of warmth. And I think that comes from the sandalwood there. But this is the Eden Sparkling Lychee by Kayali. Love those scents. Down. Okay. And on the flip side of that, since we were also talking about my skin, I will say I've been getting a lot of compliments on my makeup in these videos, so thank you guys so much for that. But here's what I use on the skin. Denissa Myrick's yummy skin. I swear by it. I use 14. I have on 14 now, but I also have 15 for the summer because my skin does get a little more chocolate and deep in the summertime. But I used 14 now. Absolutely love it. I haven't been using foundation lately. It just gives me that nice, even complexion and my skin looks like skin. I swear by Danessa Myricks. Love everything that she has, but this is a skin tint, very lightweight. Love it. And then something that's new to my collection that I wanted to recommend to y'. All, Pat McGrath Labs. This is a cream blush in the color Electric Bloom Glow, y'. All. It's an orange blush. Now, I don't know about y', all, but back in the day, I would have never picked up orange blush. This does my skin right, baby. Okay. I also wear, I like to wear like very orangey or very like purpley blushes. They just look so good on my skin. So I just picked this one up and I actually have it on today and I absolutely love it. So I'm gonna link all of these products down below in the show notes for you guys so y' all can shop till you drop. Because, baby, listen, we are living in a time now where we gonna do the thing we are going to love on ourselves and we're going to give ourselves the things that we desire. Okay? But anyways, with that being said, you guys, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I really wanted to keep it kind of light because navigating insecurity can be such a web. So I wanted to keep it, you know, based on the science and share a couple of my insecurities, but not get in too deep to everything. So if you want to hear more about insecurities or you want to hear that more on the podcast, send me an email. Let me know you enjoyed this episode. And if you're watching on our YouTube channel, give this video a like. And if you're not already subscribed to our channel, make sure you hit that big red subscribe button down below and make sure your notifications are on so you can get all of the alerts. And anytime we post any new episodes of the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast. And if you are listening on your favorite listening platform, thank you so much for listening. Go ahead and leave us a rating and a review. And if you are listening to this, because it's just reminding me I got a review that was not so great on the show and it was about ad placement on my show. So I just want to take a quick second. I probably should put this elsewhere because it's at the very end of the episode. But I got a not so great review on the podcast. And the review said that we had political ads running on the show. There were some Trump ads running on our show. And I will be the first to say this show should not have any political ads running. And I immediately, as soon as I saw it, I immediately talked to our hosting platform and they informed us that maybe the person who ran that ad checked a different box. They're supposed to tell you what kind of ad it is and if it's political or not. And my show has a no political ad policy. So if it snuck through, it's because it was categorized as something outside of it being that. So I just want to say if you guys hear anything on the show that is political, anything that is involving our current president, please let me know. Because I don't get to pick all of those ads unless you hear my voice on the ad. I don't have a say in the exact ad that runs and I don't have a tracker for those things. So if you hear something that you don't think should be on the show because it is political, if you hear any of that stuff, send us an email. Please, please, please, please, please. Because the ads are dynamic, which means the ads that you hear are different from your friends or different from what I would hear. It's not the same ad, no matter who you are. So please, I am counting on you guys if you hear something like that instead of leaving a one star review. I totally understand it though, because you never know. Whatever. But this is not a place for politics. I really want affirmations for black girls to remain a safe haven. We are just here to become the best version of ourselves. Okay? So if you do hear something, you guys, please send us an email because I do want to stay on top of this because I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable. I don't want to talk about politics on the show. Well, I'm not even talking about politics, but I'm rambling now. If you hear something that's political on one of our ads, shoot us an email. So thank you guys so much for listening. And if you listen through that random brain ramble, thank you so much. And with that being said, I'm going to go ahead and get out of here. Thank you again for listening. This is affirmations for black girls. Big news. Wayfair's Black Friday sale is here early. Right now at Wayfair. Get up to 70% off everything you need for the season ahead. Save on kitchen and dining, bedroom furniture and mattresses, holiday decor and way more. Now is the time to score big, from seasonal finds to favorites you'll use all year long. Plus with Wayfair, enjoy fast and easy shipping with delivery in time for the holidays. Save up to 70% off early Black Friday deals. Shop now@wayfair.com Wayfair Every style, every home WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. 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