445 | Living Far Away From Home: Redefining What “Home” Means When You’ve Outgrown It | Feeling Disconnected This Holiday Season

Summary

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Affirmations for Black Girls

Host: Tyra The Creative
Episode 445: Living Far Away From Home: Redefining What “Home” Means When You’ve Outgrown It | Feeling Disconnected This Holiday Season
Release Date: December 8, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode explores the emotional journey of living far from home, especially during the holiday season. Host Tyra Morrison (AKA Tyra The Creative) reflects on what "home" means after moving away and how it evolves over time. She opens up about nostalgia, guilt, and growth, and offers practical ways to cultivate a feeling of home, even when physically distant from family and familiar traditions. Listeners are encouraged to honor both their roots and their personal evolution, especially if they're feeling disconnected during the holidays.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Outgrowing Home Without Losing It

• Tyra describes her feelings of excitement and fear as she left St. Francisville, Louisiana for college ([03:17]–[04:56]).
• She describes breaking down emotionally before leaving, fearing both failure and being forgotten.
• Tyra highlights a key realization:

  “You can love where you’re from, even outgrow it, and still carry it with you. Home doesn’t have to stay in one place. It lives in your memories, your roots, your traditions, and in your heart wherever you go.” ([05:04]–[05:30])

2. Redefining Home in New Spaces

• The holiday season brings up nostalgia and longing for home, but responsibilities and life changes alter how Tyra experiences it now as an adult living in Los Angeles.
• She explores the tension between who you were "at home" and who you are becoming "away from home."
• Notable insight:

  “Now, there’s this interesting shift that happens when you move away. You start to realize that home is no longer just the place you grew up. It’s also the little things that bring you peace, the moments you intentionally create, and the spaces where you can breathe deeply and fully be yourself.” ([06:26]–[07:10])

3. Affirmation of the Week

• Tyra leads listeners through repeating the affirmation:

  “It is safe for me to outgrow what once felt familiar.”
  ([07:21]–[08:58])

• She reflects on how repeating this lifts a weight from her shoulders and reframes the idea of outgrowing a place as making space for new versions of herself ([09:14]–[09:54]).

4. Creating Home Away from Home

Tyra shares practical, heartfelt ways she maintains her connection to home:

• Cooking Family Recipes: Making her great-grandma’s pies and Louisiana dishes to feel comforted ([13:07]–[14:59]).
• Decorating with Keepsakes: Filling her LA apartment with Louisiana-themed decorations and gifts ([14:59]–[15:39]).
• Music: Curating playlists with songs from home (e.g., Choppa, Jackie Neal) to evoke specific memories ([15:39]–[16:57]).
• Printing and Displaying Photos: Growing her gallery wall with family snapshots and creating physical reminders of her roots ([16:57]–[17:19]).
• Staying Connected Virtually: Frequent FaceTimes with her family, especially grandparents, to nurture bonds at a distance ([17:19]–[18:05]).
• Continuing Holiday Traditions: Playing the Babyface Christmas album while decorating her tree, carrying over rituals from her youth ([18:06]–[20:07]).

5. Guilt, Growth, and Independence

• Tyra discusses feeling guilty for not being present or "plugged in" to family and old traditions as often, but reframes this as natural growth ([25:24]–[27:19]).
• She notes the importance of:
  • Self-Reliance: Learning to cook alone, handle challenges, and be resourceful ([30:05]–[30:50]).
  • Expanding Circles: Building new communities and friendships away from home ([30:50]–[31:13]).
  • Practicing Gratitude and Creating Rituals: Being intentional in identifying and appreciating blessings, turning new spaces into sanctuaries ([31:13]–[32:04]).
  • Strengthening Communication: Increased, intentional communication like video calls and care packages ([32:04]–[32:34]).
  • Embracing and Defining Personal Identity: Seeing herself clearly outside of the expectations from her hometown ([32:37]–[33:10]).

6. Navigating Painful Distance & Loss

• Tyra recounts feeling disconnected after her move, particularly after losing a cousin unexpectedly in 2018, which taught her the value of presence and intentional connection ([36:44]–[39:10]).

  “It just put stuff into perspective for me... life will keep moving and we don’t always get a second chance… to show up not just when it’s convenient but when it matters most, and to do it fully and presently.” ([38:30]–[39:10])

• She advises listeners that outgrowing home is not abandonment, but about choosing what nourishes and letting go of what doesn’t support growth ([39:13]–[40:55]).

7. Questions for Self-Reflection

Tyra encourages listeners to ask themselves:

• What parts of home still feel true to me?
• What do I keep out of guilt or expectation?
• What new “home energy” am I creating?
• How can I honor where I came from while honoring where I’m headed?
• What boundaries do I need to protect my growth without severing love?
  ([40:55]–[41:10])

8. On the Power of Roots and Expansion

• Tyra shares vivid childhood memories, reinforcing that loving your origins doesn’t require physically staying there ([41:45]–[42:39]).
• She affirms:

  "Home can be a chapter and a compass at the same time. Something that shaped you, not something that has to contain you. Growth asks you to stretch, to evolve, to embrace both the discomfort and the freedom that comes with creating your own space in the world while still carrying the essence of where you came from." ([41:10]–[41:45])

• Tyra finds comfort and authenticity in intentionally building "home" through rituals, decor, recipes, and music—reminders that you can always carry "home" within you ([42:39]–[44:26]).
• Closing affirmation:

  “Home is not just a zip code. It can be a chapter, a compass, comfort, but never a cage.” ([44:26]–[44:47])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On outgrowing but honoring home:

  “Outgrowing a place doesn’t mean forgetting it. It just means you’re making space for new experiences, for new versions of yourself, while still keeping the roots that made you.” ([09:54]–[10:26])

• On adapting holiday traditions:

  “Everything that I just mentioned are not replacements for home and for your family, but they are reminders. They are little cues that say your roots are still with you even as you grow beyond them.” ([19:57]–[20:07])

• On perspective from moving away:

  “People who leave home… tend to have this perspective and this depth that only comes from stepping outside of what’s familiar.” ([25:55]–[27:19])

• On redefining connections:

  “Connection doesn’t always have to be physical. It can be thoughtful and it can be intentional through other methods.” ([32:20]–[32:34])

• On honoring your own path:

  “Leaving home isn’t about leaving any love behind, even though it can definitely feel like that. It’s about expanding the version of yourself that love gets to grow with.” ([34:21]–[34:31])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Personal story about leaving home: [03:17]–[05:04]
• Affirmation of the week & reflection: [07:21]–[09:14]
• How Tyra carries home with her: [13:05]–[20:07]
• Navigating guilt and growth: [25:24]–[34:31]
• Self-reflection questions: [40:55]–[41:10]
• Core message on roots and self-expansion: [41:10]–[44:26]
• Host’s closing encouragement: [44:26]–[45:00]

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Fun & Lighthearted Segment: Christmas Movie Bracket

Starting at [44:57], Tyra hosts a playful Christmas movie tournament, revealing her personal favorites and encouraging listeners to make their own traditions, no matter where they are.

• Final winner: How the Grinch Stole Christmas ([50:50]).

Quote:

“If you cannot make it home for the holidays, I truly, truly urge you to make your own holiday, wherever you are.” ([51:22])

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Takeaways

• Living far from home presents both challenges and opportunities for growth.
• Home is a feeling, a set of memories, and can be intentionally recreated wherever you are.
• It’s okay and safe to evolve, to create new traditions, and to carry your roots forward without being confined by them.
• Being intentional with connections, rituals, and self-reflection helps ease feelings of homesickness or disconnection, particularly during the holidays.

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Closing Message:
No matter where you are this season, it’s safe to grow, it’s safe to evolve, and it’s safe to carry home with you in your own way.

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Happy Holidays!

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Transcript

[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

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[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

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[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

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[Host]

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[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

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[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

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[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

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[Host]

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Okay, can I let y' all in on a little secret that you probably already know? I love giving a good gift. And honestly, it is for selfish reasons. But it's because I get excited when I find a gift that feels super personal and perfect for the person that I'm giving it to. Because one thing's for sure, I'm not about to show up empty handed or with something basic. Okay, now let me refresh Yalls memory.

[Tyra Morrison]

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[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

My tracks this time, y', all, as I was perusing on the site, was.

[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

That you can gift to your loved ones.

[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

And all kinds of creative adventures.

[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

Let's take a trip back to 2012 it was my senior year at West Feliciana high school in St. Francisville, Louisiana, and I was on cloud nine. I had all the friends. I had got accepted into my first choice school on a full ride. I was valedictorian of my class and I was looking forward to the future. But fast forward to graduation week and I was terrified. I was afraid to leave home, afraid to be forgotten by the people who had known me my whole life. I was excited for college, for the adventures ahead, but I was shaking in my boots. I I had never spent an extended amount of time away from home, and the thought of it felt both thrilling and impossible. I remember the day that the day before graduation, I was about to take a bath in my mama's bathroom. That was my routine. And the memories just came rushing in. Getting ready for school in the morning, fighting with my little brother multiple times a day, working at Sonny's Pizza, which was my first job, playing sports with my friends. And I just sat on that toilet and broke down, y'. All. I cried for a baby for like 30 minutes. And I realize now that I was just terrified of losing my connection to my hometown. I started to think, what if they forgive me? What if I go out here and I fail? All of the doubtful things that can start to bubble up when you're about to have a big life change.

[Host]

But.

[Tyra Morrison]

But here's what I realized after that and what I still hold onto now.

[Host]

You can love where you're from.

Even.

[Tyra Morrison]

Outgrow it, and still carry with you. Home doesn't have to stay in one place. It lives in your memories, your roots, your traditions, and in your heart. Wherever you go now, the holiday season always brings this mix of nostalgia and longing for me. I crave familiar smells, familiar voices, the comfort of belonging. But distance, responsibilities, and the timing all changes the way that I experience this season, and that's where I am right now. Now, I didn't go home for Thanksgiving this year, but I will make it there for Christmas as always. That ain't gonna change, probably till I get a husband. But if you can't make it to whatever you consider home for the holidays, what does home like right where you are? How do you create it? How do you hold it and still honor the person that you have become in the life that you've built elsewhere?

Happy holidays, beautiful people. You are listening to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves. I am your host, Tyra, the creative actress, content creator and mental health enthusiast, and a Southern girl who is still learning how to make Los Angeles feel just as comforting as a warm Louisiana night. Now, there's this interesting shift that happens when you move away. You start to realize that home is no longer just the place you grew up. It's also the little things that bring you peace, the moments you intentionally create, and the spaces where you can breathe.

[Host]

Deeply and fully be yourself.

[Tyra Morrison]

But before we dive into all of that and dive into our episode, let's go ahead and jump into our affirmation of the week.

This week's affirmation is it is safe for me to outgrow what once felt familiar.

Let's go ahead and drop in, y'. All.

It is safe for me to outgrow what once felt familiar.

It is safe for me to outgrow what once felt familiar.

It is safe for me to outgrow grow what once felt familiar.

It is safe for me to outgrow what once felt familiar.

It is safe for me to outgrow what once felt familiar.

It is safe for me to outgrow what once felt familiar.

Let's go ahead and say it one last time together.

It is safe for me to outgrow what once felt familiar.

Oh, y', all.

When I really say this affirmation out loud that it is safe for me to outgrow what once felt familiar, I kind of feel this weight lift off my shoulders a little bit. It makes me think about all the years that I have carried this idea that leaving my home, leaving my hometown, meant that I was leaving pieces of me behind. But that's not true. Outgrowing a place doesn't mean forgetting it. It just means you're making space for new experiences, for new versions of yourself, while still keeping the roots that made you. And that's exactly what I've been Doing this holiday season, finding ways to create home right where I am, right here in la. Creating comfort and familia, familiarity, even when the old routines aren't accessible. And it's messy and it's different, but it's still home in its own way.

When you move away from the place that you grew up in, there is this strange tug of war between who you were and who you are starting to become. And honestly, it's okay to outgrow your hometown. It's okay if you don't feel as connected to it as you once did. Because growth will do that to you. Life will do that to you. Going home now, I am instantly able to see just how much I've grown, how much life I've had the pleasure of living outside of St. Francisville, Louisiana. Remember, y', all, this place has a population of like 2,000 people. Right. And let me say this. Now, I know I throw out a lot of numbers when I say the population of St. Francisville. I've talked about this a few times, but I literally just looked at a 2022 census, and it said that the population was 1724 people. Yeah. But here is the part about all of this that we don't really talk about. You can outgrow a place and still let it be a part of you. And you can love it, you can.

[Host]

Miss it, and you can still honor.

[Tyra Morrison]

It without needing to return to it in the same way.

[Host]

Right.

[Tyra Morrison]

Being away from Louisiana for over 10 years now has me creating home moments right where I am. Because sometimes home isn't a place that you go back to. It's something that you learn to rebuild inside of yourself. And I was just talking to my best friend Bria. Y' all know Bria. And this was at a time when I was super homesick, and I was wondering if this meant that I should move back home. Like, all types of stuff has been happening in my life lately, and I'm just like, God, is this telling me that I need to go ahead and switch some things up? Like something drastic? But anyways, we were talking about it, and she basically said to me that Louisiana lives in me. And I really took a lot of pride in her saying that, because I used to feel very guilty about not living at home, being close to my family, going off and doing something different, doing, taking the uncharted path, especially when you don't really know how everything is going to turn out. I felt guilty because of that stuff. But when she said that it lives in you. Y' all know that song from Lion King. It lives in me. I took so much pride in that because I love being from the South. I love being from Louisiana. But there's a huge part of me that also knows that in order for me to accomplish my dreams, at least for the time being, I have to.

[Host]

Be elsewhere and make my space feel.

[Tyra Morrison]

As much like home as I can. And that's okay. Now, a few ways that I've been carrying those pieces of home with me are more so recently, I've been doing this stuff very subconsciously. One, I've been creating my grandma's recipes in my own kitchen. You already know my great grandma, Willie Mae. After she passed, I took over making the white potato pie for Christmas. So I've been making her recipes. I also do her sweet potato pie, her buttermilk pie, her pies. Okay. I never personally saw her make her collard greens, but I definitely wish that I did. But I can. I can, you know, infer what her recipe is like. But recreating my grandma's recipes in my own kitchen, I also decorate my space with Louisiana keepsakes. When I went home this past time for my birthday, I. My friend Daria told me about this store called Flirty Girl, and there's a couple of locations in Louisiana, and it's like a. It's a gift shop, right? With all of the novelty things.

[Host]

And I was in hog heaven when.

[Tyra Morrison]

I went and I bought so many things because I was like, I need this in my space in LA to make me feel like I'm still in Louisiana, you know, to really comfort me and give me that hug. I also have, like, Louisiana cutting boards on my walls. I have this alligator photo that I bought on Etsy. I haven't put it up yet. I'm actually, like, on this wall over here by my tv. I am about to put up my gallery wall. Hopefully I can get it done before I go home for the holidays. But I have this alligator photo, and the alligator is just chilling with some sunglasses on and sitting in the bathtub. And I think that's dope. And that definitely speaks to who I am. I have a gumbo plate on the wall. I put some. My mama just bought me a tea towel. I'm about to put that on the wall. Like, I'm not saying that you necessarily have to put everything on the wall, but I also have some appetizer plates that have Louisiana written on them. And I went to look. Let me show you this.

I also. When I went home, I bought a Tony Satch pillow. Y' all like, making Decorating my space to feel like I'm still in Louisiana has really boosted my morale, if you will, with me living away from home for such a long time. Other than that, I also made this playlist that instantly transports me back to Louisiana. Right? So anytime I am feeling, like, homesick or whatever, I've told y' all about this song, but Choppa Style. Well, Chopper Style Choppa has a song called Louisiana, and that is the song that I play anytime I'm feeling a little homesick. But playing those songs instantly transports me. The other day, like, three days ago, I was making pasta Lia. I was meal prepping some pasta lie. Because I really have to make sure that I am, you know, eating foods from home. That also gives me a hug from the inside, right? And I put on some Jackie Neal.

[Host]

Now, if y' all don't know about.

[Tyra Morrison]

Jackie Neal, baby, you. I don't know what she was doing. Okay, recipes, Jackie. But I love her music, and it instantly transports me back to the early 2000s, when we used to have all of these family gatherings and stuff. And her music will be playing, and she's a blues singer, but I play all of these types of songs, and I'll have these playlists for me whenever I really need to take myself back to these. These times in my life. Another thing that I do is I print photos to feel grounded in my own history. So, like I just said, I'm redoing my gallery wall, and one thing that I am certain that I'm gonna do is add in more family photos. I had a picture of me, my mom, and my dad, and my brother for when we were younger on that wall, and I also had pictures of me and my brother. But I want to add in more family photos. And I also have a photo album that I use for all of my, like, Polaroid photos and things. But I make sure to take photos when I go home, so I have a keepsake to bring back here. And I'm not just living in this, like, space of. Well, we all know who Tyra family is, right? And I think a lot of this stems from the fact that when I first moved out to la, a couple of people would say that to me. Oh, I don't know anything about your family.

[Host]

Oh, wow.

[Tyra Morrison]

You never talk about your family. And I was like, I felt offended. Not that they said that, but, like, what? You don't think I love my family? What? Like, that's what I heard. Because I was like, no, I'm a family girl. Like, I love my family, but I wasn't doing things that was like massaging and nurturing those connections while I was living far away. So with that being said, I started FaceTiming my family more. Especially, like my grandparents. I make a point to facetime them. I facetime my papa all the time, y'. All. Me and my papa, my mama, Daddy, if I FaceTime him, we talking about my plants, okay? And every time I tell people that, they get so, like, they. They're excited, and they're like, what y' all be talking about? Gardening. Yes. I wouldn't be a green thumb without my papa, okay?

[Host]

Or his mama.

[Tyra Morrison]

My great Grandma Lily is his mama, and she's still with us. And I remember what was that last year? I went home. Meanwhile, she has a cactus in her front yard, and the prickly pear were growing on her cactus. And I was like, momo, we can eat these. And she was like, what? And my papa was like, we can't eat them. And I was like, papa, come out here and harvest these things with me. And we harvested them, and we took them inside, and we all had a bite. And those types of experiences my heart craves. So even when I'm not home, I FaceTime my papa, I FaceTime all of my grandparents, you know, and I just show them, you know, things that are going on in my life or things that I'm doing because I can't. They always tell me that they ain't coming out here to see me. So the only time I'm seeing is when I go home. So I like to show them and share with them the things that I find exciting in my life and then other things that I'm doing when it comes to the holidays, since we are in a holiday time right now, I'm continuing traditions that I had when I was little. So, as you can see, if you're watching this episode, my Christmas tree is up, baby. And if you've been watching the epis, the podcast for a while, it's been up. So one thing that my mama and daddy would do when we were growing up, on Christmas morning, specifically, they would play Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, but the Babyface version. And throughout the holiday season, we would listen to the whole album. So I turned on that Babyface Christmas album while I was putting up my Christmas tree, and it just instantly brought me back to that little bit of magic that I hold deep in my heart for the holidays. And I want to say that everything that I just mentioned are not replacements for home and for your family, but they are reminders. They are little Cues that say your roots are still with you even as you grow beyond them. Y'.

[Host]

All. Hosting my daddy in LA last week taught me one thing. My apartment was not as holiday ready as I thought it was. Nothing will expose your space faster than hosting a parent.

[Tyra Morrison]

Okay?

[Host]

So I did what any responsible girl would do. I grabbed my laptop and I ran straight to Waiting Fair and baby. They understood the assignment as they always do. Wayfair truly has everything when you're doing that last minute holiday sprucing and trying to finish your gift list at the same time.

[Tyra Morrison]

Amen.

[Host]

I'm talking about bedding and linens for the guest room, functional furniture for the living room, kitchen essentials for hosting dinner storage solutions for seasonal decor, kids room updates.

[Tyra Morrison]

All of it. Y', all.

[Host]

You can shop by vibe, by room, by budget, okay? And I think you'll find something for your every need this season.

[Tyra Morrison]

One of my friends just refreshed her bedroom with a W.E. wayfair headboard and a cozy comforter set.

[Host]

It was fast shipping, it was great quality, and apparently the price was too good to pass up.

[Tyra Morrison]

I need to ask her for the.

[Host]

Details on that, so maybe it might.

[Tyra Morrison]

Be time for me to do a bedroom refresh too. What do y' all think?

[Host]

What do y' all think? Any who get last minute holiday essentials, gifts for your loved ones and decor to celebrate the holidays for way less head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F A I R.com Wayfair every style, every home. The older I get, the more I realize that taking care of my financial health is just as important as taking care of my mental or physical health. And yes y', all, it is that serious with the way things are going in the world right now. And y' all know what I'm talking about. Being financially grounded may be one of the few things that we can control and I can't be the only one who wants tools that make me feel prepared and in control but not stressed. Baby Chime is changing the way people bank. With Chime, there are no monthly fees, no minimum balance requirements, and no overdraft fees. That alone removes so much unnecessary day to day anxiety. You can also get paid up to two days early with direct deposit.

[Tyra Morrison]

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[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

Couple of serious questions.

[Host]

Do your joints feel older than you? And do you really know what's going on inside of your body? Yeah, me either, y'.

[Tyra Morrison]

All.

[Host]

Now y' all know whenever I go home to Louisiana, family time is everything to me. When we're all together, I'm always so.

[Tyra Morrison]

Grateful for that quality time.

[Host]

It always reminds me to take care of myself so that I can keep making memories with the people I love for years to come. And I'm ready to get even more serious about that. So I just learned about True Diagnostic and their True Age plus True Health test, y'.

[Tyra Morrison]

All.

[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

Than 30 years old.

[Host]

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[Tyra Morrison]

One of the biggest lessons that I learned about moving away is that your relationship with home will shift. And that doesn't mean that something is wrong. Leaving the comfort of home challenges you in ways that staying there and staying put never could. And it forces you to see yourself outside of familiar expectations and traditions and even relationships. Relationships. Right. You start to define who you are, not who your hometown or who your family thinks you should be. Like, you know how when we're growing up and we're in high school and we're around all these hometown people, you may hear them say certain things about certain kids, like, oh, that boy going to the league. Oh that girl gonna be a doctor, she gonna make a lot of money. You start to get those things put on you when you are in your hometown. And moving away allows you to figure that out for yourself and that provides you with perspective and it is invaluable. Right. And this is a little bit off topic, but my friend Alexis and I always say that we prefer a man who is from the South. For me, from Louisiana is definitely preferred. But someone who is from the south and has left home for an extended period of time, maybe for college or for a job or just wanted to explore something outside of the South. That's because people who leave home and come back, specifically the south, because I can only attest to that, or they build a life elsewhere, tend to have this perspective and this depth that only comes from stepping outside of what's familiar. They have learned how to navigate the world on their own to figure out who they are and when no one else is watching. And they carry their roots with them without letting those roots keep them complacent and define every part of who they are are.

[Host]

And there's a confidence and self awareness.

[Tyra Morrison]

That comes from that experience. And they tend to know what they value, what traditions are important to them and what they're willing to leave behind for their own personal growth. And that is the same lesson moving away from home teaches all of us. Growth comes when you step beyond comfort. And you can still love where you're from without being tethered to it. But anyways, back to what I was saying. Sometimes we carry guilt around not going back home as often. And I know I still do that. Like, it's very hard to get out of that. I still do this because you don't feel as plugged in or you, or you're not fitting into old traditions the way that you used to. But that's just the evolution of you. And it is good, y'. All. Leaving home gives you space to grow emotionally, spiritually, and even creatively. And you start to learn independence and self reliance and the power of creating your own rituals, traditions, habits that nurture your soul. You learn that comfort doesn't always come from a place specifically. It could come from the life that you build around you. And now I definitely will not lie, because being away from my family and loved ones, especially during the holiday time, can be very hard. Even if being home is, is a little uncomfortable or annoying or whatever it may be, it can still be hard. But it's also okay if this year's homecoming looks a little bit different. It's okay if your hometown doesn't feel like your entire identity anymore. And it's okay if the people you grew up with know an older version of you, a beautiful version, but not your current one. And traditions can grow with you too. Like, I know a lot of us who move away, especially if you move away to like a big town, like a big city like LA or New York or whatever from a smaller town, people will say, oh, hey, Hollywood, oh, you too good for us. All these types of things. I know it comes with that. And that's not really what we're, we're getting into. But those people are trying to identify with you and they only know an older version of you. But like I said, your traditions can also grow with you too. Especially if you are, you know, staying away from family or not, you know, staying away from family. But if you are not spending time with family this holiday season. But there are a lot of practical ways that distance does support your growth. And I think this is what I try to focus on, so I'm not feeling so guilty. The first thing is you learn self reliance. Like I said, cooking your favorite family meals alone, it teaches you patience, it teach you how to cook for one, but it teach you patience and resourcefulness.

[Host]

And you get to create the flavors.

[Tyra Morrison]

And the comfort that you love without needing somebody there to guide you. Even though I love being in the kitchen with my loved ones, especially my daddy or my grandparents, I love, love being in the kitchen with them. It teaches you that self reliance it also. Well, being away from family in a new place also teaches you to expand your circle, right? Living away exposes you to new communities and friendships that broaden your perspective. You see that your sense of belonging isn't fixed to one place on earth. And then we're also able to practice gratitude consciously without the usual distractions of home. Naming what you're thankful for, like your family, your experiences, new experiences, your memories, or even your own growth and how far you've come. It becomes intentional and very grounding. And creating a home away from home space can do the body a lot of good. So decorating, lighting candles, even hanging photos can turn a new apartment or dorm or temporary space into somewhere where you do feel safe and love. I know when I, I first moved out to California, like I told you guys, I lived with this guy and he didn't want to buy nothing for the apartment. That's something that we always fight about. He would go and find furniture on the street. It wouldn't be like, you know, the worst furniture, but it's obviously we. It got, you got it off the street, you got it from back there by the trash can. You know what I mean? But I said after I moved out of that situation, I was like, I am going to make sure that when I walk into my space, I actually feel at home. It doesn't feel cold, it doesn't feel uninviting. It feels like a warm hug. And that's what I have done in this space. I'm starting to make sure that I am taking those extra steps to have the land yap in my house. Like my Christmas tree is up right now because it is the holiday, so I can feel something. You know, all of that stuff is very important to me. It may not be as important to.

[Host]

You, but it's something that's very important to me.

[Tyra Morrison]

Another way being distant from your hometown and your loved ones can help you grow is that it strengthens your communication skills. I have never talked to my family so much. I talk to them way more now than I ever did when I was at home. So video calls, handwritten letters, or sending care packages. I got a lot of care packages, you know, during COVID It helps you nurture relationships from a distance. And you learn that connection doesn't always have to be physical. It can be thoughtful and it can be intentional through other methods.

[Host]

And you also get to embrace independence.

[Tyra Morrison]

Making decisions for yourself without the immediate influence of your hometown or your loved ones that are back home, teaching confidence and trust in your own judgment. And you also get a chance to see yourself clearly away from the familiar expectations and routines. You discover what parts of you are truly yours and weren't just thrown onto you. The habits, your preferences and dreams that are not just shaped from your loved ones. So if you're not going home, maybe this year you're joining your family dinner via FaceTime instead of traveling there. Or you are sending handwritten cards to your cousins or friends that you don't see often. Maybe you are creating a new solo tradition in your own space, like baking a favorite family dish or watching a nostalgic movie, like watching a Grinch that while you're baking you know all of these things, you can create those yourself, and your gratitude list becomes your grounding instead of a packed house. I know it's. You can't really compare the two, but. But being grateful can very much so help you feel safe and loved during this time. And all of these are reminders, right, that home doesn't just have to be a place, it is also a feeling. It is also a connection, and it is also a set of memories that you carry with you. And distance doesn't erase that connection. It just, you know, reshapes it a little bit. And sometimes redefining home is what allows you to actually breathe, to reflect, and to step fully into the person that you're becoming. Leaving home isn't about leaving any love behind, even though it can definitely feel like that. It's about expanding the version of yourself that love gets to grow with.

[Host]

All right, y', all, picture this. It's the end of a long day, your phone is finally on, do not disturb, the lights are low, and you've slipped into that version of yourself who actually prioritizes your rest. Maybe you're doing a little light stretching. Maybe you got your journal open. Maybe you curled up reading a book or listening to an episode of the podcast just fully in your soft girl era, right? The secret to a good nighttime routine is not just the candles and the skin care and writing your journal and all that stuff. It honestly is the mattress that you're ending the night on. And there is nothing quite like my avocado green mattress, y'. All. Avocado helps you turn your bedroom into the cal coziest, healthiest sanctuary possible. Their mattresses, pillows, and bedding are made with certified organic and sustainably sourced materials. So while you're getting that cloud like sleep, you can also feel good about what you're bringing into your home. I've told y' all this in the past. I absolutely love my mattress. I have the plush version of the mattress and it feels like a warm hug. Y' all know I'm single, so I.

[Tyra Morrison]

Don'T really get a lot of hugs from people.

[Host]

So my mattress hugs me in all the right ways and I have not gotten so such good nights of sleep in years.

[Tyra Morrison]

I'm so glad that I got this mattress.

[Host]

It has honestly been the biggest game changer in my sleep health. And if you're hosting this holiday season, your guests will sleep like royalty if you have this in the guest room. So consider this your sign to give them and yourself the gift of restful mornings and slow, cozy nights. And rest peacefully knowing that Avocado has easy financing options through a firm to make it a little more accessible. Because I'm going to be honest, I already know the price tag on these mattresses. But the investment of these mattresses, y', all, it's been worth every penny for me. Prioritize, rest and recharge with Avocado's organic comfort. Head to avocadogreenmattress.com today to create your natural oasis and save big during their holiday sale. Avocado Dream of Better.

[Tyra Morrison]

So there was this moment in time when I felt super disconnected from my family back home. And honestly, it didn't feel too good. This is when I first moved to LA in 2018 and I was trying to make it. I was juggling work in a horrible relationship that you already know about. And I wasn't making the time or the space to nurture the connection with family that I so deeply crave. It was because I was distracted, stressed, and honestly, I was avoiding conversations or moments that felt uncomfortable because I was afraid they would ask me, well, how am I really doing? And I would just cry. You know, because when you move away or you outgrow the place where you were raised, there is this moment where you have to ask yourself, am I disconnected because I don't care or because I need to grow and stretch in this season? And most of the time it is the growth and the stretching. Even if the voices in your head are saying, no, girl, you just don't care about these people no more. But the same growth changes what feels like home, right? Growth stretches you past familiarity. It passed the expectation into alignment with who you are becoming now. And. And here's the truth that most people don't talk about. Growth is not always easy or glamorous. I mean, we know that, but we won't be talking about it. It's not just the exciting new jobs, booking acting gigs, city lights, or, you know, solo adventures. It's the quiet, uncomfortable work. The feelings of guilt when you don't call as much as you should. You know, air quotes. The tension of redefining traditions, the hard conversations about who you are versus who they expect you to to be right. And it's confronting the parts of yourself that still carry fear and shame and old patterns. It's doing that work anyway, even when it feels icky. And a huge wake up call for me was actually in the first year of me living here. It was in 2018. I talked about this on the podcast, and I'll before and I'll keep it brief, but in late 2018, my cousin was. Was taken away from us in a very horrific way. Long story short, I was at my apartment one day and I got a message from him and I was. I don't even remember what I was doing. I was in the the middle of doing something, maybe editing a YouTube video or something like that, and I saw his message and I was like, imma just text him back later. And maybe 10, 20 minutes after that, my my mama gave me a call with some news that I did not want to receive. And it just put stuff into perspective for me. And it was all a reminder that life will keep moving and we don't always get a second chance. That moment did make me stop growing or stop moving forward, but it did remind me to be more intentional with the people and the connections that I do care about. To show up not just when I it's convenient, but when it matters most and to do it fully and presently right. But I want you to hear this clearly. Outgrowing your hometown does not mean you're abandoning it or pushing it to the side. It means you are allowed to take the parts that feel nourishing. The culture, the memories, the inside jokes, the childhood foods, the ch. The memories from your childhood and leave behind whatever. It doesn't support who you're becoming. It means choosing the parts of your past that fuel your growth and letting go of the parts that weigh you down. It's about growth, yes, but it's also about presence, prioritizing what matters, and carrying forward the essence of home in a way that honors both your past and your new present. So I want you to ask yourself what parts of home still feel true to me? What parts do I keep out of guilt or expectation? What new home energy am I trying to create for myself? How can I honor where I came from while honoring where I'm headed? And lastly, what boundaries do I need to set to protect my growth without severing love?

Home can be a chapter and a compass at the same time. Something that shaped you, not something that has to contain you. Growth asks you to stretch, to evolve, to embrace both the discomfort and the freedom that comes with creating your own space in the world while still carrying the essence of where you came from.

At my core, I will always be tyra Morrison from St. Francisville, Louisiana. That small town truly shaped me. The streets I ran down as a kid, having one stoplight in town, going fishing, using cane poles with my pawpaw, riding four wheelers down by the creek with my daddy, getting sand in every crevice of my body. The smells from all of my grandma's and great grandma's kitchens, picking dewberries with my great grandfather father, the endless chatter with my cousins as we play freeze tag in the front yard, the laughter and the arguments with my little brother.

I'm so blessed and those memories will live in me no matter where I go. But over the years, I've learned that loving where you're from does not mean staying there. Moving away, building a life in new spaces, stepping outside of what's familiar.

[Host]

That's where the growth really happens.

[Tyra Morrison]

Happens. Leaving home forces you to define yourself on your own terms, to carry the pieces that nourish you and leave behind what weighs you down. The holiday season was literally built to pull at your heartstrings, and for me, it always brings up nostalgia, longing, and sometimes guilt of being away. And I've been there, feeling disconnected, questioning if I'm doing enough to hold on to my roots, thinking things like, can I really say that I'm from Louisiana anymore? I've been gone for over 10 years, but growing into who I want to be isn't just about new jobs, new cities or new adventures. It's really in the quiet, messy work of being present, being intentional with the people that you love, and creating home for yourself in ways that feel authentic. I carry home with me now in a lot of little ways. My grandma's recipes, cooking on my stove, old school playlists filling my apartment, family photos lining my wall, video calls with my loved ones, my recipe wallpaper that's in my kitchen. And sometimes it is bittersweet and you realize that life does not wait for anybody. Those lessons do sting but they do teach presence and love and the value of intentional connection. Outgrowing home does not mean abandoning means taking the essence of what shaped you, the lessons that you learn, the memories that you hold on to tightly, and using it to fuel the person that you're becoming. Right now, home is not just a zip code. It can be a chapter, a compass, comfort, but never a cage. This season, wherever you are, however you celebrate the holidays, remember, it's safe to grow. It's safe to evolve, and it's safe to carry home with you in your own way.

[Host]

Happy holidays, y'.

[Tyra Morrison]

All.

Oh, y', all, you know what time it is? It is time for our fun closing segment. And today's closing segment, y', all, is super fun. We are doing a Christmas movie bracket tournament thing. Okay? So my team wrote down some matchups. We have six total matchups, and we trying to get to the bottom of which Christmas movie is the best. Now, before I even jump into this, I'm gonna let y' all know I don't really watch too many Christmas movies. It's not because I don't like Christmas movies. It's because I watch the same ones year after year. For real. When do I find one that I really, really like? I just stick to it. I stick to what I know. All right, so with that being said, matchup number one, we're gonna just hop right into it. Oh, gosh. Okay. Matchup number one is Elf versus Jingle Jangle, A Christmas Journey. All right, now, I've seen Jingle Jangle once, but let me say this. I have not seen Elf in its entirety, but I know that it is a classic. But also, Jingle Jangle, I have a friend that's in that movie, and it was good. It was a good little movie. It was. Let's see what I'm gonna choose. I think. Oh, gosh. I don't even know. See this? I can't do this, especially since I'm an actress, and I'd be knowing people that are in Christmas movies now know, like, this is. This is crazy. I'm gonna have to go with Elf, even though I haven't seen it because it's a classic and Will Ferrell is funny, and I do love him. Okay, match number two. We got how the Grinch Stole Christmas versus Charlie Brown Christmas. Y', all. If you don't know me, animations are my favorite type of movie, but this is a hard mashup. See, they shouldn't have did these against each other, because we could have. I'm already looking at the other Ones we could have knocked something else out out. By not putting these two together, they didn't already made it hard. I'm going to have to go with how the Grinch Stole Christmas because that is the one movie that I watch every year faithfully. Okay, I'm have to go with that. But Charlie Brown Christmas is also very, very good. Oh, my gosh. Okay, match number three. We got Home Alone 1 versus this Christmas with Chris Brown.

Can I say I've never seen this Christmas or maybe I have and I just haven't seen in a long time.

[Host]

I just.

[Tyra Morrison]

Y', all, this Christmas is good though. Versus Home Alone though. See, we putting all the classics against these. Oh, I feel like no matter what I do here, somebody gonna be mad. I'm gonna go home alone. I'm gonna go home alone. I'm just, you know, I'm gonna go with it. Home Alone. Oh. Now matchup number four. We got the Polar Express versus Almost Christmas. Oh, gosh. I don't really remember that movie, y'. All. I'm gonna go with the Polar Express because that movie is a complete classic and I absolutely freaking love it. Matchup number five. We got the Santa Claus versus the holiday calendar. I'm sorry, I'm go with the holiday calendar. This movie came out in 2018 and it stars Kat, Graham and that boy. Boy. The diddy boy. Him. I don't know why I can't think of his name right now. Anyways, it stars them. And when I watched that movie for the first time, I absolutely loved it. That's also a movie that I watch every single year. That is one of my favorites. I'm. That's top three for me personally. I love that movie so much. It. It's about this. This girl and this guy. Obviously it's a rom com so they end up falling in love. But it's a holiday calendar like an advent calendar. And different magical things happen each day day leading up to Christmas. And magic number six is the Claymation. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer versus Candy Cane Lane. Oh, my gosh.

[Host]

Candy Cane Lane is with Eddie Murphy.

[Tyra Morrison]

This movie came out in 2023. That movie was good. That movie was good.

[Host]

And anything with Eddie Murphy in it.

[Tyra Morrison]

I love to watch Rudolph versus Candy Cane Lady. Oh, my gosh. I'm only. Let's say this. I'm gonna go. This is how I'm gonna go with it. Candy Cane Lane has not been out that often, but I only watched it once. I did not watch it last year. I watched it in 2023. Rudolph Claymation. I don't watch it every single year, but I've watched it a lot of years. So I'm gonna go with Rudolph.

[Host]

But all these movies is good.

[Tyra Morrison]

I don't like doing stuff like this. Okay, now our second matchup is Elf versus How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Gosh. I'm going with how the green stole Christmas 100%. Mashup number two. Now for the semifinals or whatever. Is this the quarterfinals? I think it's quarterfinals. I don't know. Is Home Alone versus the Polar Express.

Home Alone versus Polar Express.

[Host]

Which one y' all got?

[Tyra Morrison]

Oh, my gosh.

I'm gonna go.

Oh, gosh. They both so good in their classics. I'm gonna go with the Polar Express. There's so much magic in that movie. And that's how I like my Christmases to be. Full of magic. Right? And then match number five. We got the holiday calendar versus Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Y' all already know I have to go with the holiday calendar because that's the one that I like the most. I love that movie. I. Look, this is gonna be hard. I already know what the last few ones gonna be. Okay. Okay, so now we got a three way here. So we're gonna go with the first two. We got how to Grinch Stole Christmas versus the Polar Express. And I'm going with how to Grinch Though Christmas. And now we're going with how to Grinch Stole Christmas versus the holiday calendar. Godly, this is hard. I know what y' all want me to pick. And I know what I want to pick. And it might be the same thing.

[Host]

Thing.

[Tyra Morrison]

Oh, my gosh.

Okay.

The winner is how the Grinch Stole Christmas.

I know I had y' all for a second, but let me tell y', all, all of these movies are good. Candy Cane Lane. That's a really good movie. It just depends on what kind of Christmas you want to have for real. Now. I always watch how to Grin Show Christmas at least with like one family member. I'm child a try to watch it with my brother this year or at least with my mama when I go home. But if you cannot make it home for the holidays, y', all, I truly, truly urge you to.

Make your own holiday, wherever you are. This is a season where we should be with loved ones, whether that is your real family or your chosen family. And I just implore you to go ahead and get that, get that together. Because we've all been there. We've all wanted to be somewhere that we couldn't be. And you know, life takes us in other places, but I truly hope that you guys have a happy holiday and I really hope that your Thanksgiving was great as well. You know, happy Indigenous People's Day for Thanksgiving, you know. And with that being said, I'm gonna go ahead and let you guys go. Thank you so much for watching. If you are listening on your favorite listening platform, please give us a rating and a review. We really, really need them. And share my PODC a friend. Share us with a friend, you guys, our listenership. We could be, we could be doing a little better. I understand that it is the end of the year, you know, all of the things, but I really want to keep this thing going. So share with anyone who you think could benefit from any of the conversations that we have on the show. And if you're watching on YouTube, make.

[Host]

Sure you are subscribed.

[Tyra Morrison]

And if you're not, hit that big red subscribe button down below and make.

[Host]

Sure all your notifications are on so you can get all the alerts anytime we post a Check new episodes. We post a new episode every Monday.

[Tyra Morrison]

And then we have pep talk Wednesdays on some Wednesdays of the year. But thank you guys so much for listening.

[Host]

This is affirmations for black girls.

Love.

Love.

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