← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
446 | How to Actually Fall in Love With Your Life: The Practical Guide to Romanticizing the Everyday
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WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running.
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Why?
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Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic Mountains to the Rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu. Let's Credit Union. WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running.
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Why?
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Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic Mountains to the Rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu let's Credit Union.
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Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you caught yourself smiling at your own life? Not because of a milestone, not because something big just happened, but simply because you felt good being you? I'll be honest. For me, it has been a little minute. We are constantly fed the aesthetic routines online and we start believing that happiness requires marble countertops, matcha and milk frothers, and a color coded morning routine. But here is the truth that the algorithm won't tell you. Romanticizing your life is not an aesthetic. It is actually a skill. Science tells us that your brain adapts to dopamine hits, meaning the more that you chase excitement, the less excitement you actually will feel. So if that's the case, no wonder your life starts to feel dull, flat and like a routine. The happiest people aren't the ones that are adding more to their daily lives. They are the ones that are just paying better attention. Every day we're presented with dozens of micro moments, tiny windows that can shift our emotional state. And what I've learned from befriending myself and falling in love with the woman that I am becoming is this romance is simply your attention pointed back at your own life. We have been sold the idea that romanticizing your life is all about the aesthetics. But neuroscience literally says otherwise, y'. All. When you slow down enough to savor something, anything, your brain releases oxytocin and serotonin. The Same chemicals tied to bonding and love. Meaning you can literally train your brain to fall in love with your life. And that's exactly what I want to happen to me. I know that the more that I practice being present, the more I'll realize how much beauty I've been stepping over on a day to day basis. I learned that falling in love with your life is not about perfection. It's actually about permission. Permission to enjoy what you have. Permission to welcome softness into your life. Permission to treat your everyday life like it actually matters. So I want you guys to join me and start small. Romanticize the way your candle smells. Your morning playlist. The softness of your bed sheets. Or the softness of your leggings. Okay. Or the way that you talk to yourself when no one is around. These simple moments become the romance scenes in the story of your own becoming. Because the real magic has been here all along. You just need to look a little closer.
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Powerful.
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Few things are as powerful.
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As powerful.
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Few things are as powerful. What is going on, beautiful people? You are listening to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast, where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves. I am your host, Tyra, the creative actress, content creator, and mental health enthusiast. And y', all, today's vocabulary word is romanticize. So what does it really mean to romanticize your life? Romanticizing your life is really about seeing your own story with new eyes. It's about shifting from getting through the day to experiencing your life to its entirety, experiencing it fully. It's recognizing that even the small moments, like your routines or even your environment, your thoughts can feel rich. They can feel meaningful and intentional if you approach them with curiosity and care. And, y', all, the brain is truly an amazing place because this entire idea is less about adding things to your life and more about changing the way that you interact with what's already there, what God is already giving you. Right? It's giving yourself the permission to slow down, to notice, and to feel deeply about your own existence. It's the quiet act of treating your everyday life as something worthy of attention and appreciation and, yes, a little bit of romance. Okay, but before we dive deeper, let's go ahead and jump into our affirmation of the week. This week's affirmation is I deserve a life that feels good. Ooh, let's go ahead and drop in, y'. All. I deserve a life that feels good. I deserve a life that feels good. I deserve a life that feels good. I deserve a life that feels good. I deserve a life that feels good. I deserve a life that feels good. I deserve a life that feels good. I deserve a life that feels good. I deserve a life that feels good. Let's go ahead and say it one last time together and really, really, really mean it. Think about what it looks like for your life to feel good. Think about how that feeling of goodness feels. I deserve a life that feels good. Oh, goodness, Y'. All. This affirmation is so good first and foremost, but it's really about checking in with yourself, right? So what feels good right now in your life? And what is something that doesn't feel good in your life right now? Sometimes the things that bring us joy are small, almost invisible sometimes. And the things that drain us can feel very big and heavy without us even realizing it. And giving yourself permission to notice both the pleasure and the friction in your life is the first step to creating more of what lights you up and letting go of what doesn't. It's in those little moments, the ones that we usually overlook, that life starts to feel richer, to feel softer and feel more like ours. You know, when we tend to talk about romanticizing your life again, it's not truly about money. It's not about trends. It's not about having the perfect aesthetic. It's actually about something much more simple and much more powerful, honestly. It's about slowing down enough to notice your own joy and asking yourself, what does joy look like for me? Because it's different for all of us. The beauty, the magic, the romance. It's all hiding in the mundane or the things that we tend to think are mundane. So your morning coffee, the way that the sun, sunlight hits your kitchen floor at 9am that drive home at sunset, Coming home to a bed that's made up, or folding warm laundry, turning on your Christmas tree either during the day or at night while you're watching one of your favorite Christmas movies. Like I like to watch how the Grinch Stole Christmas. These little moments are rich if we truly let them be. And a big part of this is asking yourself some very honest questions. What moments of your day actually make you feel calm and grounded? Lately, for me, it's been waking up and preparing for the day like I actually got somewhere to go. So doing my full morning routine and doing my hair, putting on some clothes, that little ritual has really boosted my mood so much over the last two weeks. And maybe for you, it's actually savoring your first sip of coffee without scrolling on your phone. Maybe you take your coffee on your balcony, your porch, or your patio, or you enjoy while you're taking a short walk outside or listening to a song that really makes you smile. Where in your routine could you create a pause that allows you to feel that calm or that joy again? Or more often, maybe it's setting aside 5, 10 minutes before you go to bed to light a candle, do some stretching, dive into the word of God, or simply putting on your favorite playlist while you're cooking dinner. I do that so often and it brings me so much joy. Or it could even be taking a breath, closing your eyes and taking a breath before you answer your emails. This tiny pocket of intention can completely shift how our day feels. And I remember a moment where I created pause for me and it completely changed how I viewed taking a deep breath. So this was a few years ago and I was still doing a lot of brand ambassador work. And this one time I had to be at work super early. I would say like 6am I was a greeter at a conference and I had about five minutes between sessions and I decided that I was going to take that entire time to just breathe because I had started feeling a little overwhelmed. I was tired, all the things right, I needed to reset. So I sat at a table with my head down, I closed my eyes. I have on no music, no meditation app, nothing. And I just focused on my deep breathing and I stayed present with every inhale and every exhale. And y', all, I felt so light afterwards, it was almost like I had taken a happy pill or something. And here's why that happens. Deep, intentional breathing actually triggers your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm your body and your mind, and it increases oxygen flow to your brain, which can boost your focus, your clarity, and even your mood. So that simple act of me pausing to breathe gave me more energy, more joy, and it grounded me, but it also gave me more presence than rushing through the day ever could. And it's a small reminder that sometimes the most powerful moments of romance in our day are not grand. They are those tiny intentional breaths that reset us, to make us feel alive again and remind us that we are allowed to feel good right here, right now, no matter what I have going on. Now ask yourself, what parts of your life have you been overlooking? Maybe it's the clean laundry waiting on you that's still in the dryer, a friend that you haven't checked in with in a long time, or that corner of your house that brings you peace when you notice it. And maybe most importantly, where have you been? Too hard on yourself this year, when you stop treating yourself like a problem to solve, you start experiencing life as something to actually savor. And thinking about these questions that I'm asking you isn't indulgent. I think it's very necessary. It's a way of showing yourself the same care and attention and love that we all so freeingly give everybody else. One thing I love to do now is to create micro rituals. So these tiny habits that make ordinary moments in my life feel more cinematic. So the thing is, gratitude is the foundation in all of this. So when you notice even one thing that you're thankful for, your brain starts to recognize the richness in your day. And suddenly the ordinary feels extraordinary, right? So I like to ask myself, if my life were a movie, what scenes would feel good and cinematic for me right now? Right? So maybe it's the quiet hum of your favorite fan on a hot afternoon. See how cinematic that sound? The way that your bookshelf looks when the sunlight spills across it. The sound of rain against your window as you sit in your cozy corner or your prayer closet. Or the first bite of a snack that you have been craving all day long, right? Maybe it's the way that your dog greets you when you come home, or the spritz of your automatic diffuser in the background while you fold that clean laundry. Or maybe it's the small victories that you rarely celebrate, like sending an email that you've been avoiding, finishing a workout, or even just keeping your plants alive, right? And then once I know what I am thankful for, I like to ask myself, okay, Tyra, so now what am I craving more of? Am I craving more rest? Am I craving more excitement? More gentleness, More routine? Do I need more connection? Do I need solitude? I think in this moment right here, I personally crave more connection. So what little gestures or pauses can I give myself to make those cravings more real? I can put myself in new environments. I can call that friend that I haven't talked to in months, that I've been thinking about calling for six months. I can do a low lift hosting session, maybe a game night, or throw a pot of gumbo on the stove and have my closest friends come over in their pajamas and we just sit on the sofa and eat it. It's in noticing these subtle details, these tiny moments of delight, that we start to see ourselves, see our lives as rich and worthy of love. And I think that's the heart of romanticizing your life.
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The older I get, the more I realize that taking care of my financial health is just as important as taking care of my mental or physical health. And yes y', all, it is that ser with the way things are going in the world right now and y' all know what I'm talking about, being financially grounded may be one of the few things that we can control and I can't be the only one who wants tools that make me feel prepared and in control but not stressed. Baby Chime is changing the way people bank. With Chime there are no monthly fees, no minimum balance requirements and no overdraft fees. That alone removes so much unnecessary day to day anxiety. You can also get paid up to two days early with direct deposit and in times like this, having access to your money soon owner can make a real difference in keeping your finances balanced. At a time when everything feels a little all over the place, choosing a banking experience that actually supports your financial wellness and goals isn't just smart, it's necessary. This year I'm choosing stability, I'm choosing tools that help me plan ahead and I'm also choosing habits that bring me peace. Chime is not just smarter banking, it is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.com affirmations that's chime.com affirmations Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking Services to secure Chime, Visa credit card and my pay line of credit provided by the Bancorp Bank, NA or Stride Banking A. My pay eligibility requirements apply in credit limit ranges 20 to 500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com fees info advertise annual percentage yield with Chime+status only. Otherwise 1% APY applies. No minimum balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Y' all Hosting my daddy in LA last week taught me one thing. My apartment was not as holiday ready as I thought it was. Nothing will expose your space faster than hosting a parent. Okay, so I did what any responsible girl would do. I grabbed my laptop and I ran straight to Wayfair and baby. They understood the assignment as they always do. Wayfair truly has everything when you're doing that last minute holiday sprucing and trying to finish your gift list at the same time.
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Amen.
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I'm talking about bedding and linens for the guest room, functional furnit for the living room, kitchen essentials for Hosting dinner, storage solutions for seasonal decor, kids room.
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Updates, all of it, y'.
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All. You can shop by vibe, by room, by budget, okay? And I think you'll find something for your every need this season. One of my friends just refreshed her bedroom with a Wayfair headboard and a cozy comforter set. It was fast shipping, it was great quality, and apparently the price was too good to pass up. I need to ask her for the details on that, so maybe it might.
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Be time for me to do a bedroom refresh too. What do y' all think?
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What do y' all think? Anywho, get last minute holiday essentials, gifts for your loved ones and decor to celebrate the holidays. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. So let me ask you guys a couple of serious questions. Do your joints feel older than you? And do you really know what's going on inside of your body? Yeah, me either, y'.
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All.
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Now y' all know whenever I go home to Louisiana, family time is everything to me. When we're all together, I'm always so grateful for that quality time. It always reminds me to take care of myself so that I can keep making memories with the people I love for years to come. And I'm ready to get even more serious about that. So I just learned about True Diagnostic and their true age plus True health test, y'.
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All.
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This ain't nothing like a grade school test, okay? But the more research I do on it, the more I'm interested. Did you know that a single painless finger prick at home can lead you to over 180 personalized insights into your health and how you're aging? On one hand, Tru Health runs tests to look over 100 biomarkers, which is stuff like your vitamin levels and nutrient balance, your immune system and even stuff like gut and cognitive health. On the other hand, true age goes even deeper, y'.
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All.
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Their test shows your biological age, which is the pace of your aging. And it shows how important organs and systems like your heart, your brain, your liver, liver and your immune system are aging. Which means I'm 30 years old and my biological age could be more than 30 or it can even be less than 30 years old. And this test will help to show me where I'm at. So this is a full snapshot of how your body's really doing on the inside. And with an easy to read report and personalized recommendations. I honestly feel like this is a tool that can help me actually stay on top of my health and put energy into the right habits where I'm not just guessing all the time. So if you want to dig a little deeper, and if you're serious about living healthier and longer, visit true diagnostic.com and use my code affirmations for 20 off your entire order or subscription. That's truediagnostic.com code affirmations for 20 off your future self will thank you.
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You know, social media makes it so easy to look at somebody else's life and think that it is effortlessly romantic or that it's perfect. That brunch picture, that sunset selfie, the perfectly organized closet or refrigerator. It can feel like their whole life is sparkling while yours is just normal. But let me say this. I don't believe that romance happened by accident. I like to believe that it started in their mind first. They decided to see their life that way first. Then they curated it to match the vision. So the lighting, the angle, the details, that stuff that you see on social media, they highlighted what made them feel good about it. And that's the key, y'. All. Romanticizing your life doesn't start with the aesthetics. It can become aesthetic, but it starts in your mind. It starts in the way that you notice and appreciate and frame the moments that you already have. Everything that I just listed at the beginning, mundane things that we all do. So that same morning walk, the same dishes that you got in your sink, tending to your garden that a quiet stretch before bed, we all do that. Any of these moments can feel ordinary or they can feel sacred. It depends on how fully you choose to be present in them. It is up to you to live a life that loves you back. And part of living a life that loves you back is noticing the difference between performing happiness and actually living it right? So performing happiness is about showing the world that you've got it all together, even if on the inside you're drained or you're disconnected from what you're doing. But living happiness is about tuning into what truly brings you joy and pleasure and peace and letting yourself feel it fully without worrying about anyone else. Somebody who I think does this beautifully is this YouTuber that I have been following for a years, very long time, probably like five, six years. Her channel's name is her 86 meter squared. Now. Her channel really centers around slow living, home and garden life and cooking. What she grows right, she tends to her garden, she prepares meals for her family and she cares for her home in ways that could seem mundane because it's the things that we all have to do. But she approaches each moment with attention, with care, and with presence. And it's not performative, it's just deeply intentional, right? And I absolutely, I love all of her videos. They're so romantic. But by treating these simple, everyday tasks as meaningful, she shows us that romance doesn't have to be flashy or external. It can live in the ordinary, in the rhythms of life, fully inhabited. Watching her content reminds me that joy, contentment and fulfillment come from presence, intention, and honoring the small acts that we often overlook. And with that being said, another key to romanticizing your own life is letting go of comparison culture, especially in black spaces where we're often taught to compete or measure ourselves against one another.
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Recognizing that there is actually room for.
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All of us to thrive opens up space for freedom, for gratitude and self compassion. Because last time I checked, what God has for you is for you, right? And one thing that has been really freeing for me with all of this is, and we'll talk about this at the top of the new year, a lot. But ripping up that list of things that I was once saving for when I have another serious boyfriend, I realized that I'd been holding back on small joys, thinking that they were best suited for when I had a future partner. Things. Simple things, y'. All. Things like plating my food in a cute way when I'm eating dinner, dressing up my drinks at home, pulling out my good apron while I cook, wearing my good perfume, right? Wearing my good pajamas, lighting my favorite candle while I read or do things around the house, putting on fresh sheets on the bed just because I feel like you are even writing in my nice notebook just for myself. These are all little acts that can make life feel indulgent, romantic and joyful. And they don't require anyone else to validate them. So how do you start practicing this for yourself? You can look for small gestures that make you feel seen, that make you feel nurtured, and that are playful. And you can ask yourself, where in my day or my week or my month, could I add a little touch of care, a little touch of fun, or a little touch of beauty that I have been saving for someone or something else. What small rituals could I reclaim? Just for me, the real romance is not in the highlight reel. It is in creating a life that loves you back. One that is intentional, one that is mindful. One mindful choice at a time. It's about choosing to notice the beauty already. Around you to feel that gratitude and to allow your own life to feel rich, meaningful and full of joy, even when nobody else is watching. And these small but very deliberate acts are not just habits. They're actually love letters to yourself. Romance can and should live in your routines. A routine is something that you do, but a ritual is something that you feel. It's the difference between going through the motions and moving through your day with care, with intention and being present. So let's take your morning routine for example. It can become a ritual when you light a candle, play music that lifts your spirits. Journal. Instead of doom scrolling first thing in the morning, open the blinds up and let that light hit your face the first thing in the morning. Or brew your coffee like it's a small ceremony that's just for you. Even something like cleaning can feel cozy. Open up the windows, let that sunlight hit the floor. And don't just play your favorite playlist, blast it, put on a cute and comfy cleaning outfit and notice the satisfaction of refreshing your space. It stops being a chore and it becomes a gentle act of care. Because let me say this, I had to start saying this to myself. I was like tyranny. Now, when you was living with that boy when you was out there in Jersey, not the guy that I moved out to LA with, but when you was living with that boy in Jersey, you was glad to wash clothes, you was glad to cook and clean. Okay, you was happy to do that. What is stopping me from doing that for myself? And that's why I say I got to rip up my list. Because a lot of these small intentional things that can add a little romance to my day and say I love you to Tyra, I truly have them categorized as, okay, this is what I'm going to do in our middle relationship and I cannot continue to do that because right now I'm just sitting duck. I'm a 31 year old single sitting duck waiting for a man to come. I can't keep doing it to myself. But anyways, workouts can also feel celebratory. Instead of punishing with every stretch, every lift or walk, it's a reminder that you honor your body, your strength and your presence in this world. You don't have to save that for a rainy day, right? And these micro rituals are more than just to make your life feel pretty or to make your life feel accomplished. Honestly, I think they anchor your your nervous system. They build consistency and give you this sense of emotional safety. Every small intentional act becomes a little love letter to yourself. A reminder that you are worth caring for nobody, no matter who else around, right? And here's the thing. You don't need a big life or flashy experiences to feel like you're living beautifully. It's really about those small moments that we've been talking about that hold. For me, I feel like they hold the most meaning. Moments that you do with attention you do presently, and the ones that you do with care. And I know I'm throwing those words around a lot, but that's the difference between just going through the motions and actually romanticizing your life. So I like to think about it like this. Main character energy versus main character pressure. Main character energy is showing up fully for yourself, enjoying your own story, right? And main character pressure, on the other hand, is trying to force perfection. And especially with the world looking like it's looking right now, y', all, we don't need that extra stress on us. We really don't. Routines can actually be some of the easiest places to practice this morning. Nighttime cooking routines and cleaning, especially since these are things that we do pretty much every day. It can feel nourishing if you just lean in. And don't underestimate the little sensory joys like textures and scents and sounds and even taste. They all matter. Play your favorite music while you work. Light that candle during bath time. Wrap yourself in fresh, soft sheets after a long day. Maybe they're even a little warm. Get yourself a towel warmer. You know, these little touches change the way you experience life. Romance in your life doesn't need to be anything grand or over the top. I mean, that's nice too, but it doesn't have to be all the time. It also lives in these tiny, deliberate choices, these little acts of tenderness that you give yourself every single day. And. And that's how you start falling in love with the life that you already have. Merry Christmas, baby. You can reinvent the way you live at any time. The life that you want might already be right in front of you. It just needs. Needs your full attention. Maybe it's dressing up for no reason. Maybe it's arranging fresh flowers that you got from the farmer's market, savoring a glass of wine that you bought from a black owned winery, you know, or curling up in some satin sheets after a long day. Maybe it's taking a quiet walk, planning your perfect day, having an impromptu picnic for lunch, or even sending a handwritten note to somebody that you love. These small intentional acts add up. They're how you start seeing your own life as rich and meaningful. And full of joy. And I want to say this, I actually decided to create a bingo card for y'. All. I thought this would be super fun, a way that could encourage you to sprinkle in a little more romance into your day. Now, you can find it down below in the show notes of this episode for your free download. And it's filled with 24 ways to romanticize your life in ways that may have never crossed your mind. And I want you to take this download, I want you to print it out, and over the next month, see just how many of these small romantic things you can accomplish. So as we wrap up this year, make sure that you are giving yourself permission to slow down, to take up space and notice yourself in every detail of your life. You are the author, the main character, and the love interest all in one. And if you're ready to start, start the new year with intention and reflection and that little sprinkle of romance. Just like last year. I want you guys to get the Affirmations of Black Girls New Year, New Me workbook, because it is here to help. I also have that link below in the show notes for you to purchase if you purchased it last year. There are a couple of different things that we added for this year to make it a little different, but if you want to just redo the same one, you definitely can. But it's packed with journal prompts, mindset reflections, and vision planning tools to carry this energy of gratitude and presence into 2026. So whether you're believing God and manifesting more peace, more play, more romance, more creativity or self love, this workbook will guide you in doing all of that with intention. So listen closely when I say this. Falling in love with your life isn't just a trend. It needs to be a daily practice. And baby, you absolutely deserve to feel good about where you are right here, right now. All right, y', all, picture this.
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It's the end of a long day, your phone is finally on, do not disturb. The lights are low, and you've slipped into that version of yourself who actually prioritizes your rest. Maybe you're doing a little light stretching. Maybe you got your journal open. Maybe you curled up reading a book or listening to an episode of the podcast just fully in your soft girl era, right? The secret to a good nighttime routine is not just the candles and the skincare and writing your journal and all that stuff. It honestly, honestly is the mattress that you're ending the night on. And there is nothing quite like my avocado green mattress. Y' All Avocado helps you turn your bedroom into the calmest, coziest, healthiest sanctuary possible. Their mattresses, pillows, and bedding are made with certified organic and sustainably sourced materials. So while you're getting that cloud like sleep, you can also feel good about what you're bringing into your home. I've told y' all this in the past. I absolutely love my mattress. I have the plush version of the mat, a warm hug. Y' all know I'm single, so I.
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Don'T really get a lot of hugs from people.
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So my mattress hugs me in all the right ways. And I have not gotten such good nights of sleep in years. I'm so glad that I got this mattress. It has honestly been the biggest game changer in my sleep health. And if you're hosting this holiday season, your guest will sleep like royalty if you have this in the guest room. So consider this your sign to give them and yourself the gift of restful mornings and slow, cozy nights. And rest peacefully. Knowing that Avocado has easy financing, opt a firm to make it a little more accessible. Because I'm going to be honest, I already know the price tag on these mattresses. But the investment of these mattresses, y', all, it's been worth every penny for me. Prioritize, rest and recharge with Avocado's organic comfort. Head to avocadogreen mattress.com today to create your natural oasis and save big during their holiday sale. Avocado Dream of better.
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Oh, y', all, you know what time it is. It is time for our fun closing segments. And, you guys, today's segment is one that I think y' all are growing to love. It is called Solo Dolo. This is where I give you guys a little bit of insight into my dating life. And. And today I got a story for y'. All. This was honestly insane. So I told y' all a few episodes ago that in my last relationship, I actually got ghosted. I didn't talk about it much when it happened because it hurt really bad. But, yeah, I got ghosted, right? And you know, this happens with anyone who gets ghosted, especially after a year of being in a relationship, which is honestly pretty weird. But I was thinking, I was like, oh, my gosh, what did I do? What did I say? What could I have done different? What was it? What. What about me made him want to do this, right? And even though I worked through all of that pain and I was finally accepting of, okay, this relationship is over. And Tyra, we ain't never going Back even after that, for the longest time. And I was not really talking about this, because I was like, why is this happening? I was really trying to figure out why it was happening. I was, like, having dreams about this man. Not about him, like, we getting back together, but he would be in my dreams. And I'm like, what is going on? I haven't seen this man, spoken to this man. I don't really think about this man day to day. What is going on?
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And.
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And so this past Saturday, I woke up from a dream that I had about him. And in that dream, I'm gonna tell y' all the dream. So in that dream, I woke up in what was supposed to be his apartment, and I had never been in this space before. Like, this is all. You know, how dreams. It'll. You'll think that it's stuff, but it's not. I don't know why I'd be feeling like I need to get that detail, but I had never been in this room before. But anyways, I was like, oh, I'm in his apartment. Let me hide in this big old box that was sitting right here so that when he come back, I could ask him why he ghosted me. Child. So I try to get in the box. I open the box. I'm, like, tired. Don't hide in that box. And I started looking around, and I'm like, this actually looks a little empty. So I started going through the closet and stuff, and I'm like, there are no. There's no things here. There are no clothes here. Nothing that belongs to him is here. And literally out loud, I said, tired of that man ain't coming back here. And after I said that, I woke up, y'. All, I kid you not. When I woke up, because I have been in a very bad habit of opening my phone first thing in the morning when I wake up, open my phone, for some reason, opened Instagram, went to my request folder, and I had this message from this girl. I wish I could read y' all the actual messages, but I had this message from this girl, and she was like, hi. Basically, I just want to ask you some questions about this person that we both know. In my head, I'm like, this girl is talking about my ex boyfriend. I know it. There's literally no other reason she would be reaching out to me. Long story short, she was. She was talking about him, and first thing I asked her was, girl, well, how do you know who I am? Because we ain't been together for ages at this point. And to make A long story short, she found a YouTube video that we did together, and she also saw that we went to San Diego for my birthday. How she snooped that far and found that. That is just crazy, because that was literally, like, 2020. That was 2022. Yeah, that was 2022. Anyways, I also commended her. I was like, you know what? I commend you on even having the guts to even reach out to me, because I know we've all been in a situation where we want to ask somebody a question about some guy that we talking to and do it. I don't ever be doing it. But she was brave for doing that. So I did say that. I was like, that's, you know, you being brave. Long story short, she ends up asking me, has I experienced some of the things that she experienced? And one of them was the fact that he will go ghost. And I was like, that's. Yeah, he will go ghost. And what I got from that entire situation was the closure that I didn't know I needed, because subconsciously, he was still taking a space in my mental right. And I was having these dreams from time to time. And I think what I really needed to come to terms with was that. And this might sound bad, but it wasn't. He didn't ghost me because I'm me. That was him and his own doing and a thing that he needs to work through. That's a tendency that he has. It's not because I am who I am, and I think that's what I struggle with the most. I was like, what did I do? Like, why me? Why do you want to ghost me? Like, what did I do? I thought we were actually having a really good relationship. Like, that's crazy. So getting ghosted is never fun. But the fact that it also happened to her, it made me realize that, first of all, okay. But second of all, it made me realize that it wasn't anything that I could have done that that would have stopped that. That is just something that he has to deal with on his own, and I need to wash my hands of the situation completely. So because I had never been ghosted before, and I just couldn't for the life of me understand why somebody wouldn't want to communicate or at least say, hey, I don't want to talk to you no more. That's all you got to say? And one thing that I would always say at the beginning of relationships was, the one thing that I ask of you is, if you don't like me no more, just tell me. I always say that. I always say that. And I know that it stems from my attachment style and all of that, but I said that to him, and then he ain't do it, so I want to punch him in his throat. Because, sir, why didn't you just, hey, Tyra, I don't like you no more. Boom, easy, done, whatever. Granted, who knows what I would have said when it happened. But that's what I asked of you, so eventually I would have been able to, you know, come to. That's neither here nor there. Anyways, y', all, that's what happened. And it gave me the closure that I didn't know that I needed. I thought I had closed that door completely, but. But subconsciously, something was still there. And it made me see that I wasn't the problem. I wasn't the person that caused the ghosting to happen. And that kind of lifted a little bit of a weight off my shoulder. Anyways, y', all, that's my solo dolo. That is all that I have for you guys today. I really hope that you learned something. I really hope that this episode planted a seed and made you want to romanticize your life a little bit more. Like I said, all you do is find the joy in the little things. Whenever you see all of that romanticize your lifestyle content on Instagram and TikTok and all of that, they are doing mundane things. They are cleaning their home. They are pouring tea in a cute dress like baby. We all do those things. It's just the way that we have shifted our mindset about those things to make them a little more romantic and a little more lovely. So again, that's all I have for you guys today. If you are watching on the YouTube channel, please make sure that you are subscribed. Make sure you give this video a like, and make sure your notifications are on so you can get all the alerts anytime we post any new videos, we have videos coming every Monday and then we have pep talk Wednesdays. On some Wednesdays throughout the year, if you are listening on your favorite listening platform. Thank you so much for listening. Make sure you follow the podcast, make sure you rate the show, and leave us a review. I've been seeing more y' all reviews. Y' all be listening. Now. I know who be watching to the end of the episode because y' all the real deal. Holy fields. Okay, y' all is the real ones. But thank you guys so much. Those reviews really, truly help. We're trying to be top 100 again on Apple, but with that being said, make sure you share this podcast with a friend. Anybody who you think can benefit from listening to some of our episodes, please share it. Please, please please please please please please. We want to build this thing up. But that's all I have for you guys today. I will see you guys in the next this is Affirmations for Black Girls.
- [45:14]
A
WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions we're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running.
- [45:22]
B
Why?
- [45:23]
A
Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic Mountains to the Rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu. Let's Credit union. WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running.
- [45:53]
B
Why?
- [45:54]
A
Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic Mountains to the Rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu. Let's Credit Union.