Affirmations for Black Girls – Ep. 448: "17 Uncomfortable Questions to Ask Yourself Before the Year Ends"

Host: Tyra The Creative
Date: December 22, 2025
Length: ~60 minutes

Episode Overview

In this reflective year-end episode, Tyra The Creative invites listeners on a journey of honest self-assessment with 17 uncomfortable but transformative questions. The intention: to pause, confront avoidance, and do the "shadow work" necessary to step into the new year lighter, empowered, and more authentic. Tyra leans into vulnerability—sharing her experiences in career, relationships, self-talk, boundaries, and dreams—encouraging listeners to join her in real, unfiltered introspection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Honest Self-Reflection (01:02–08:45)

• Tyra opens with the idea that real growth begins by facing the truths we avoid. She notes that while social media has us comparing our highlight reels, it's in the honest, uncurated moments that the real magic happens.
• Affirmation of the Week:
  "Being honest with myself is my top priority."
  Tyra guides listeners through repeating the affirmation, emphasizing it’s a “permission slip to look at ourselves clearly, without excuses” (04:00).
• On Growth:
  “Growth only happens when we face the parts of us that we usually avoid... when we commit to welcoming the truth, even the discomfort, the squirmy, I’d rather suppress this or deal with it later kind of truths. You’re saying yes to the next version of yourself.” (06:09)

2. Shadow Work – What It Is & Why It Matters (09:04–11:30)

• Definition: Shadow work is about “facing the parts of ourselves that we usually avoid. The parts that we keep in the shadows…”—the unspoken habits, thoughts, and feelings that affect how we show up in life.
• Tyra encourages:
  “Shadow work doesn’t have to be super scary or dramatic... it can be as simple as asking yourself tough questions and being honest with the answers.”
  (09:56)
• Invitation:
  Listeners are urged to write down and answer the episode's reflective questions along with Tyra, as part of their own journaling and growth practice.

3. Section 1: Questions About Mindset & Self-Honesty (12:30–25:25)

Sample Questions & Tyra's Candid Answers

• What habits or thought patterns are holding me back from growth? (12:30)
  Tyra admits struggling with asking for help publicly and not wanting to be seen trying and possibly failing in her acting career:
  “I don’t like to ask for help... I have trouble with being seen trying, and that’s something that in 2026 I cannot allow to happen anymore.” (13:25)

• How did I speak to myself in hard moments? (14:50)
  Tyra has learned to comfort herself with love, a major shift since diving into childhood trauma and self-compassion.

• Do I actually believe that I deserve the things I say I want? (15:37) “I don’t believe that I deserve the things that I say I want… And it’s very frustrating for me because I work so hard… but my actions do not align.” (15:42)

  • She contrasts her unwavering support for friends with her own self-doubt, and commits to exploring this further with therapy and faith.

• Where did I surprise myself in a good way this year? (20:16)

  • Tyra highlights getting back into running and embracing her role as a “boss,” noting the endurance she’s built both physically and professionally.

• What lesson do I keep being taught because I haven't learned it yet? (21:42)

  • She speaks openly about her tendency to “date a man's potential” and the importance of setting boundaries, especially as she gets older.

• What version of me am I still trying to prove something to? (24:11)

  • Tyra reflects on living up to expectations set by her 16-year-old self, learning to let go of rigid timelines set in her adolescence.

4. Section 2: Questions on Relationships, Boundaries & Connection (30:37–40:37)

Relationships As Mirrors & Setting Boundaries

• Tyra observes:
  “Relationships… reflect back parts of us we love, parts of us that we ignore, parts of us that we don’t always want to see. And this year, those mirrors felt extra noticeable.” (30:41)
• “Some of the relationships that I was holding onto weren’t holding on to me. It’s fine. I can handle it…” (31:25)
• She underscores the difference between setting boundaries and building walls, describing boundaries as “bridges to healthier love, to clearer communication, to more peaceful relationships, and to a version of you that honors your own emotional capacity.” (32:22)

Sample Questions & Insights

• Which relationships feel one-sided or draining? What would setting a boundary look like?
  Tyra admits struggles setting boundaries in romantic relationships:
  “I need to fall back because that’s just not the man for me… I can’t keep doing that.” (33:12)

• Am I surrounded by people who reflect where I’m going or where I’ve been?
  Tyra craves more connections with mentors and people that inspire her, noting the need for categories in friendships for growth.

• Have I communicated my needs clearly, or just hoped people would figure them out?
  She confesses to “breadcrumbing” uncomfortable needs in relationships, striving to become more direct and honest (36:15).

• Who do I need to forgive to move forward lighter?
  Tyra chooses to sit with this question, noting its depth and complexity.

• Who in my life makes me feel the most seen, and do they know that?
  “I feel the most seen by [my best friend] Bria… I am able to show up in whatever state I’m in to her. And I love that so much.” (39:18)

5. Section 3: Questions for Future Vision & Dreaming (42:56–55:10)

Looking Forward – Intention Over Hustle

• Tyra’s Wisdom:
  “The future does not magically appear. You shape it. One intention, one decision, one prayer, one honest moment at a time.” (43:09)

Sample Questions & Highlights

• What does abundance mean for me beyond money?

  • Tyra defines abundance as “being wealthy in love and family… loving what I do every day… living a life I love waking up for.” (43:30)

• Where do I need more discipline, and where more grace?

  • She desires greater discipline in her spiritual life (wanting more faith-based activities) and more grace with her acting career setbacks.

• What financial habit do I need to leave behind? “Not checking my bank accounts… my personal accounts are always getting overdrawn and I be like, oh, I ain’t got no… okay.” (45:54)

• What am I being called to do that requires more bravery?

  • Tyra feels a need to advocate for herself and “make a little more noise” in her acting career—stop waiting and get proactive.

• What does healthy love look like for me next year, romantically and platonically?

  • In friendships, it's about showing up and supporting during big milestones; romantically, it's choosing herself and requiring that she be prioritized.

• What relationship dynamic am I no longer willing to tolerate? “I’m not accepting any more relationship dynamics where I’m not a priority… or where you don’t want to talk to me every day.”
  Includes examples of “breadcrumbing” or disappearing partners she’s leaving behind. (54:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“You cannot heal what you don't face. So I made a list. A list of questions that I usually sidestep. The ones that hold the mirror up to my habits, my relationships, my fears.” (01:07)

“Being honest with myself is my top priority.” (04:25, Affirmation of the Week)

"Shadow work doesn't have to be super scary or dramatic... it can be as simple as asking yourself tough questions and being honest with the answers." (09:56)

“I don’t believe that I deserve the things that I say I want… And it’s very frustrating for me because I work so hard… but my actions do not align.” (15:42)

"Some of the relationships that I was holding onto weren’t holding on to me. Moments were actually my boundary issues showing up…" (31:25)

“Relationships aren’t just about the connection. They’re about alignment as well. They are about energy. They are about honesty.” (31:10)

“The future does not magically appear. You shape it. One intention, one decision, one prayer, one honest moment at a time.” (43:09)

"Soul work isn’t glamorous. It’s messy. It’s the questions that we avoid asking and answering, the ones that make us squirm or look away. But leaning into it, sitting with the discomfort, I can feel space opening up in our lives." (56:34)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Affirmation of the Week & Opening Thoughts — 01:02–08:45
• Introduction to Shadow Work & Journaling Prompts — 09:04–11:30
• Self-Reflection Questions (Mindset) — 12:30–25:25
• Relationship Reflections & Boundaries — 30:37–40:37
• Vision for The Future / 2026 — 42:56–55:10
• Fun Segment: Naughty or Nice Habits — 56:30–58:22

Closing Segment: “Naughty or Nikes” (56:30–58:22)

Tyra plays a light-hearted holiday segment, putting various habits on her “naughty” or “nice” list. Highlights include:

• Journaling: “Nice, but a little naughty lately, because I’ve been struggling with it.” (56:33)
• Resting: “Nice, baby! I’m trying to be rested.” (57:06)
• Ignoring your budget: “Naughty… Like I said, I don’t really pay attention to my personal finances.” (57:45)
• Muting people on social media: “Nice. I need all of my spaces to be what I need them to be.” (58:13)

Overall Tone

Tyra’s tone is warm, honest, nurturing, and encouraging. She’s candid about her own challenges, celebrates small wins, and makes space for both vulnerability and humor—especially in the closing segment. Listeners are gently prodded to do their own shadow work without shame, but rather in the interest of self-love and clarity.

Action Step

Tyra encourages all listeners to revisit and write down the questions, making the process personal—either alone, with the provided workbook, or just with a journal, to begin uncluttering life and stepping into the new year with intention.

“Soul work isn’t always about rushing or achieving the next thing. Sometimes it’s quiet, sometimes it’s still. Sometimes it’s simply asking the questions, facing the truth, and clearing out the clutter to make room for what is next.” (56:34)

Useful Links

• 2026 New Year New Me Workbook:
  Find the link in the show notes for deeper work and additional questions.

For New Listeners

If you're seeking a compassionate guide to authentic self-improvement—one that feels like a supportive friend in your corner—this episode is a perfect place to begin. Tyra’s approach transforms difficult introspection into a gentle, healing ritual, primed for your own New Year's reset.