← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
450 | Stop Making Everyone Else a Priority: 2026 Is About YOU | Pep Talk Wednesdays
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Stuck in a dinner rut. We've all been there. Bored with the same takeout options or eaten a bowl of cereal for dinner? Let cookunity handle dinner tonight with ready to heat chef crafted meals delivered straight to your door. New menu drops, weekly recommendations and a thriving community of award winning chefs keep your meal options endlessly delicious. With a team of over 160 culinary innovators creating an ever expanding lineup of small batch dishes, CookUnity serves up more than 400 arid irresistible meals for every craving. Plus you can pause, skip or cancel anytime, making it easy to find a plan that fits your tastes, schedule and lifestyle. Shake up your meal routine. Go to cookunity.com mealtime50 or enter code mealtime50 before checkout for 50% off your first week and 20% off your next three weeks. That's 50% off your first week and twenty percent off your next three weeks at cookunity.com mealtime50 WSECU isn't just one.
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Of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running.
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Why?
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Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu. Let's Credit Union.
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It is time to stop making everyone else a priority. You keep showing up at full price while you're letting people treat you like you're on clearance. All year you have been shrinking, adjusting, bending, watering yourself down just to make other people feel comfortable. And for what? What has that ever gotten you besides disappointment after disappointment and burnout as a dessert? The new year for me at least, is all about alignment, boundaries, self respect that doesn't shake when somebody else has a problem with it. This new year is about finally believing that you are allowed to take up space. 2026 starts tomorrow y'. All. Tomorrow. So before the last day of 2025 is over, I need you to take a cold, hard look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Where have I been dimming my own light? Who have I been prioritizing over my own well being and why? And once you answer, then let that old version of you go. She served a purpose. We're done with her. You don't need her anymore. This next season of Life is about who you are now not who you've been. Powerful things are as powerful. Happy New Year's Eve, beautiful people. Welcome back to another pep Talk Wednesday. I am Tyra the creative, your host and virtual cheerleader for the day, delivering a midweek pick me up that you have been craving. So get ready for some encouraging words and a dose of inspiration to brighten your day. Ready? Okay, I know you don't want to hear this, but let's go ahead and rip the band aid off. You keep abandoning yourself because you're terrified of disappointing other people. But you've been disappointing yourself this whole time. And that is the heartbreak that we never tend to say out loud. So stop making everyone else the main character in your life and calling it being a good person. I know this episode. I may be coming in very hot, y', all, but buckle up because there comes a time when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. We have been stretching, shrinking over, giving, overworking, bending ourselves into shapes that we were always too big to fit in. All to keep the peace for people who don't even show up for us like that, let alone even half of the way we show up for them. And then we sit there and we wonder why we're exhausted. We wonder why we're resentful. We wonder why we pissed off and running on fumes. But here is the kicker. You're not tired because life is so busy and you juggling a lot. You are tired because you have zero boundaries protecting you. And listen, as black women, we are trained from childhood to earn love through labor. To be helpful, nurturing, agreeable, accommodating. To never ask for too much, to never need too much. To never say no without explaining our and I am right in that number with y'. All. But that conditioning will have you performing your way straight into burnout and calling it strength. And here's what is actively changing my life as we speak. The word selfish is not a bad word. Depending on how you twist it, it's a boundary. And boundaries are what keep you from emotionally bleeding out. Your needs are not a burden. Your limits are not disrespectful. Your no does not require a 100 page dissert. And your boundaries are not optional. They're a form of self respect. And if any of this is resonating with you, then you could probably use a few more firm boundaries that you properly communicate to those that you love. Things like saying no, I can't make it without offering a fake excuse or even over explaining why. Or not answering calls from People who only reach out when they need something. Maybe it's letting the text messages sit until you actually have the bandwidth to respond instead of sprinting to reply so nobody gets mad at you. Or. Or maybe you need to stop the habit of dropping everything to fix someone else's crisis when your own life is on fire. Or you just have a lot going on on your own plate. Or maybe it's not entertaining men who only hit you up after 10pm because like my papa said, the only thing that is open at that time is bars and legs. But I digress, because if we're being honest here, half of the pressure that you feel in these situations is not from life itself. It's from the boundaries that you're not enforcing and the repercussions of allowing people to use you and step all over you. And the minute. The minute that you start honoring them, everything starts to shift. Life gets lighter. You can breathe more clearly. You see that that relationship is actually and has always been a situationship and one that made sure that you were getting the short end of the stick. Okay? And the best part, y', all? You stop begging for the bare minimum. Like it's the best you can get. I know you guys have seen that meme when God has the big teddy bear for the little girl behind his back and all he needs her to do is give her the rat or tattered one. Accepting the bare minimum because you are afraid that there isn't anything better out there for you is holding you in hell. And I don't know, y'. All. At 31 years old, I'm just sick and tired of the. Excuse my French, but I really feel so strongly about this as we turn the chapter on a new year. So if you want to walk into 2026 as a better woman, then stop treating your boundaries like they're just suggestions. Stop apologizing for protecting your peace. Stop shrinking so other people can feel comfortable. Choose yourself and choose yourself loudly, consistently, unapologetically. Let it be uncomfortable. Sit in that discomfort. That is how you grow. I want y' all to say it with your chest. I am allowed to choose me. Do not whisper it. Say it loud. Don't say it with guilt. And don't say it like you're waiting for permission to actually choose yourself. Say it like someone who's done living the same year on repeat, because I know that I am, and that's why I feel so strongly about this. Say it like someone who finally understands that the world will never respect the boundaries that you refuse to enforce. You deserve the type of peace that you keep trying to hand out to other people who don't even say thank you. You deserve rest. You deserve boundaries that actually stick. You deserve support not just from strangers, not just from co workers, but from yourself. You deserve the type of peace that you keep trying to hand out to other people who don't even say thank you. You deserve rest. You deserve boundaries that actually stick. You deserve support not just from strangers, not just from co workers, but from yourself as well. You deserve to show up for yourself the way that you've been showing up for everybody else, and you're damn tired of doing it quietly. You deserve to stop overextending for friends who only show up when it benefits them. You deserve to, if necessary, cut off the people, routines and habits that drain you without apology. You deserve mornings and evenings and weekends that are yours, uninterrupted, sacred and guilt free. You deserve to invest in your mental, emotional and spiritual health without shame. You deserve to walk away from men or little boys who only reach out on their schedule, who only want to pretend to be with you, who are emotionally immature, inconsiderate, stuck in their ways, and who are actually lying to themselves and hiding from themselves and refuse to put in the work to truly become the healed version of the man that you deserve to be with. You deserve to confidently let them go and make space for the man who truly sees you. You deserve to unapologetically prioritize your dreams, your finances, your career and your hobbies. And you deserve to celebrate yourself, your wins, your progress, your glow without explaining or minimizing it for anyone. This is all of our seasons to clear space, to make room, to prepare your life for what you want next. So have y' all heard that worship song make room by Jonathan McReynolds? The beginning of the song goes like this and I'm not gonna sing it, but it goes I find space for what I treasure, I make time for what I want. I choose my priorities and Jesus, you are my number one so I will make room for you I will prepare for two so you don't feel that you can't live here. Please live in me now. Of course he's singing that, but this is a great affirmation song and it's perfect for this season of life that so many of us are in right now. And I actually just added this song to the Defeating Doubt playlist that I've share with you guys a lot of times on the show. And that playlist is linked down below in the show notes if you would like to take a listen. I think it's really good to get into that space of making room in your life for the blessings God has for you. But I say all this to say communicating your boundaries confidently is imperative, and the first step to that is knowing what boundaries you need to set. And that varies from person to person. Maybe setting those firm boundaries does mean cutting people off unapologetically. Maybe that means saying no more than you say yes. Maybe it is a full on year of shedding toxic friendships, unequally yolked friendships, draining habits, people who always take and never give. Or maybe this is your year to finally say yes. All right y', all, picture this. It's the end of a long day, your phone is finally on, do not disturb, the lights are low, and you've slipped into that version of yourself who actually prioritize your rest. Maybe you're doing a little light stretching, maybe you got your journal open. Maybe you curled up reading a book or listening to an episode of the podcast just fully in your soft girl era, right? The secret to a good nighttime routine is not just the candles and the skin care and writing in your journal and all that stuff. It honestly is the mattress that you're ending the night on. And there is nothing quite like my Avocado Green mattress, y'. All. Avocado helps you turn your bedroom into the calmest, coziest, healthiest sanct. Their mattresses, pillows and bedding are made with certified organic and sustainably sourced materials. So while you're getting that cloud like sleep, you can also feel good about what you're bringing into your home. I've told y' all this in the past. I absolutely love my mattress. I have the plush version of the mattress and it feels like a warm hug. Y' all know I'm single, so I don't really get a lot of hugs from people. So my mattress hugs me in all the right ways and I have not gotten such good nights of sleep in years. I'm so glad that I got this. Matt Been the biggest game changer in my sleep health. And if you're hosting this holiday season, your guest will sleep like royalty if you have this in the guest room. So consider this your sign to give them and yourself the gift of restful mornings and slow, cozy nights. And rest peacefully knowing that Avocado has easy financing options through a firm to make it a little more accessible. Because I'm going to be honest, I already know the price tag on these mattresses, but the investment of these mattresses y'. All. It's been worth every penny for me. Prioritize, rest and recharge with Avocado's organic comfort. Head to avocadogreenmattress.com today to create your natural oasis and save big during their holiday sale. Avocado Dream of Better so let me ask you guys a couple of serious questions. Do your joints feel older than you and do you really know what's going on inside of your body? Yeah, me either, y'. All. Now y' all know whenever I go home to Louisiana, family time is everything. When we're all together, I'm always so grateful for that quality time. It always reminds me to take care of myself so that I can keep making memories with the people I love for years to come. And I'm ready to get even more serious about that. So I just learned about True Diagnostic and their True Age plus True Health test, y'. All. This ain't nothing like a grade school test, okay? But the more research I do on it, the more I'm interested. Did you know that a single painless fingerprick at home can lead you to over 180 personalized insights into your health and how you're aging? On one hand, Truehealth runs tests to look over 100 biomarkers, which is stuff like your vitamin levels and nutrient balance, your immune system, and even stuff like gut and cognitive health. On the other hand, True Age goes even deeper, y'. All. Their test shows your biological age, which is the pace of your aging. And it shows how important organs and systems like your heart, your brain, your liver, and your immune system are aging. Which means I'm 30 years old and my biological age could be more than 30, or it can even be less than 30 years old. And this test will help to show me where I'm at. So this is a full snapshot of how your body's really doing on the inside. And with an easy to read report and personalized recommendations. I honestly feel like this is a tool that can help me actually stay on top of my health and put energy into the right habits where I'm not just guessing all the time. So if you want to dig a little deeper and if you're serious about living healthier and longer, visit True Diagnostics and use my code affirmations for 20 off your entire order or subscription. That's truediagnostic.com code affirmations for 20 off your future self will thank you.
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WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're the Only Credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running.
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Why?
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Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and surface second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu.
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Let's Credit Union say yes to the things that feed your soul, fuel your growth and spark your joy. Stop waiting for permission to take up space. Stop shrinking for the comfort of others. Stop apologizing for existing on your own terms. Your time, your energy, your body, your mental health are not optional, they are sacred. And it's past time that you treated them that way. So open your mouth y' all, and let yourself and the people around you know what you need and what you cannot tolerate in this season. So I want y' all to take inventory right now. Which relationships are actually lifting you up and which ones are quietly or loudly sucking you dry? Which projects or commitments are energizing you and which ones are keeping you stuck in a cycle of obligation and guilt? Where in your life are you overextending yourself and where could you just breathe for a moment? Saying no or stepping away does not make you a bad person. It makes you self aware and grown honestly. It makes you capable of showing up fully for the things that actually deserve your energy. And yes, it will be uncomfortable, it may feel icky and it takes practice. Yes, some people will get mad or confused or think that this is coming out of left field, but you will finally feel the freedom that comes with protecting your peace. For me, 2025 was a mixed bag of both energy draining chaos and soul fueling wins. I had to be honest with myself about what I could no longer carry. That meant setting boundaries with people who always demanded my time without giving theirs in meaningful way. Right? It meant stopping working on projects that were burning me out with no real gain. And that was a big one for me this year. It meant letting go of routines that kept me small. And you know what? The minute that I did that, I could breathe again. I could start to show up fully and fiercely and not feel guilty about it. That's where I want all of us to live in 2026. So here's your homework. Identify one area in your life that needs a hard boundary. Maybe it's a person, a habit, a commitment. And I'm pretty sure we all can find at Least one. Decide what space for you looks like in that area. Does it mean saying no, skipping something, canceling a recurring obligation, pivoting completely, and never looking back and write it down. That is your boundary. Now, once you do that, I want you to commit to it loudly, unapologetically, and consistently, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Because peace is not a luxury. Joy is not optional in this life. Growth is not passive. Protect your energy like your. Your life depends on it. Because it does, y'. All. This is your year to take up space, to say yes to what feeds you, not to what drains you. And to let the world adjust around the power of your boundaries. Okay, y'. All. Now you know every pep talk Wednesday comes with a challenge of the week. And I already gave you a little bit of homework. Our last section. So first, identify that boundary that we discussed a second ago. And then, especially since this is the top of the the new year, choose one thing that is for you and actually do it. So book that solo dinner day. Block off a self care day on your calendar. Start going to the gym. Take a couple of days to dive into our new year workbook, whatever it is. Commit to showing up for yourself. Get into the habit of making yourself the priority be. 2025 was a year that taught me to put myself first and think bigger. I constantly found myself in situations where I was frustrated because certain situations that I catch myself in, I was saying things like, do you know who I am? I'm dope. And then in the same breath I would think, well, then I need to make sure that I'm acting like it again and again. And I need to embody that big deal energy that we set out to live in at the top of the year. And honestly, we all need to, because we keep talking about the life that we want, the confidence we want, the peace we want, the boundaries we want, the love we want. But we show up like. Like we're scared of our own potential. We tiptoe around our own greatness. Like it is this fragile thing. Like if we make one bold move, the whole thing might crack and crumble. Or you just scared that you might simply get caught trying. No, ma'. Am, Pam. No, ma'. Am. Not next year. Not anymore. Not in 2026. 2026 is the year that we stop shrinking ourselves for comfort. Your comfort, my comfort. People around use comfort, and we start to stretch ourselves for growth. It's the year that we stop performing strength and actually live in truth. It's the year that we stop negotiating with bare Minimum energy from anybody, including ourselves. And listen, let me be crystal clear when I say this. I am talking to myself just as much as I'm talking to y'. All. And I wish that somebody would have talked to me like this a couple of years ago. So that's why I'm doing this. Half of the time that I'm preaching, I'm really talking to the girl in my own mirror. The one who needed this pep talk just as much as y' all did. We already know who we are. You know, you that girl and you been that girl. We just have not been acting like it. So I beg the question. If you don't think you're all that in a bag of chips, then who will? If you don't think you're a big deal, who will? And this isn't about being cocky or conceited. It's about confidence and having healthy high self esteem. So tonight, before the clock strikes midnight, I want us collectively and intentionally to step into the version of ourselves that we've been halfway becoming this year. The version that honors her intuition. The version that protects her peace. The version that doesn't beg for anything she should be walking away from. The version that doesn't second guess her worth because someone else can't see it. The version that does not settle for less. We are walking into 2026 with our shoulders back, our chin high, our chest proud and our boundaries firm. You feel me? With our goals clear and our energy protected, with our spirit grounded and our voices steady. With God at the center of our lives, y', all, we are choosing ourselves this year. Loudly, proudly, and without apology. So here is my send off for all of us this year. May 2026 meet us at the level we're rising to, not the level we're leaving behind. May it reward the courage we show. May it honor the space we make for ourselves. May it stretch us in the best ways. May it bring us peace that stays and joy that multiplies. Happy New Year. Beautiful people. Step into 2026 like the big deal that you are, baby. Because we are done playing small now. I will talk guys again in a few days. We will be taking a very small break at the top of the year. But if this episode resonated with you and you think a friend needs to hear it before the day is up, or whenever you're listening to it, you could be listening to it at another time. Send it to a friend. I think this is a very important episode to share with everyone that you love. But I will see you Guys, back here on the podcast on January 5th, I'm going to enjoy some time with my family. That's when we'll have our first episode of the new year in 2026, y', all, we're all gas, no breaks, baby. And if you have not purchased your new year workbook, you need to get it right now. I have linked it down below in the show notes, and even if you purchased it last year, the 2024 edition or the. No, the 20 in 2024. Look, I'm getting my years mixed up. If you purchased it in 2024 for the 2025 year, this one does have some new things. So you could repurchase it if you like. All right. If you want to just redo the same one, that's totally have some other goodies in there this year that does make this one a little different. And you have to invest in yourself if you truly want to stop prioritizing other people. And if you truly want to have God at the center of your life, if you truly want to walk like you are that girl and know that you are your biggest priority and know that you are all that in a bag of chips, I highly suggest that you do get the workbook and really put pen to paper and get clarity on the things that you need to pour into, on the things that you need to lean into a little bit, on the things that you need to fall back of. You know what I mean? But with that being said, you guys, thank you so, so much for listening. I hope I didn't, you know, do too much in this episode. I hope y' all a feel like I was mad at y' all or nothing, but I really think this is something that I needed to hear. And we're done playing small. I. I'm sick of it. I'm 311 is 2026 now about to be 2026. It's about to be a new year, baby. We have things to do. We have blessings to receive. Amen. So thank you guys so much for listening to this week's pep talk, and I will see you again next year. This is affirmations for black girls.
- [26:55]
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Stuck in a dinner rut. Let cookunity handle dinner with chef crafted meals delivered right to your door. Cookunity makes it easy with new menu drops, weekly recommendations, and a growing community of award winning chef chefs. Plus over 400 flavorful meals for every palate. Shake up your meal routine. Go to cookunity.com mealtime50 or enter code mealtime50 before checkout for 50% off your first week. That's cookunity.com mealtime50 WSECU isn't just one.
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Of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running.
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Why?
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Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do, from the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu. Let's credit union.