What if the goal of parenting isn’t raising kids who always listen…but raising kids who feel safe being fully themselves? In this episode, Kristin shares a realization that stopped her in her tracks: so much of her life has been shaped by the quiet pressure to be liked. To be the nice one. The agreeable one. The one everyone walks away from thinking, “Wow, she’s so kind.” From friendships to everyday interactions with strangers, that instinct to make sure everyone feels good about her has been deeply ingrained, and incredibly exhausting.

And that realization led to a bigger parenting question: how often do kids learn to people-please because they feel their acceptance depends on it? Many of us grew up believing the highest compliment a child could receive was being called a “good kid.” The obedient one. The easy one. The one who doesn’t push back, question, or cause problems. But what if that expectation quietly teaches kids something we never intended, that their job is to make adults happy?

In this episode, we unpack the hidden pressure behind being the “good kid” and why prioritizing obedience above all else can sometimes make it harder for kids to develop confidence, boundaries, and trust in their own voice.

Kristin talks about:

Why the idea of the “obedient child” can be misleading
How kids internalize the need for approval from the adults around them
The subtle ways people-pleasing starts in childhood
The difference between respect and compliance
Why it’s actually healthy for kids to disagree, push back, and express who they really are
How we can create homes where kids feel safe showing up authentically...even when that’s messy

Because here’s the truth: our kids are going to grow up in a world where not everyone will like them. And while that’s uncomfortable, it’s also part of being human. The goal isn’t raising kids who never disappoint anyone. The goal is raising kids who trust themselves enough to be who they are, even when it means not everyone approves. And when kids know they’re loved exactly as they are, they don’t have to spend their lives shrinking themselves to earn it.

This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.

Bobbie - Head to hibobbie.com to find the formula trusted by parents and loved by their babies–700k and counting.

Hiya Health - Receive 50% off your first order of Hiya’s best selling children’s vitamin. Head to hiyahealth.com/BLF.

Peloton - Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread+ at onepeloton.com

Skims - Shop our favorite bras and underwear at skims.com. #skimspartner

Square - Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/BLF. #squarepod

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stop Raising Obedient Kids