Podcast
All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Hosted by Teru Nakashima · EN
Teru Nakashima: A Pioneer in Self-Esteem Psychology
# Teru Nakashima: Leading Voice in Self-Esteem Psychology
Teru Nakashima is a prominent Japanese psychological counselor, author, and public speaker who developed "Natural Psychology," an approach to enhancing self-acceptance and transforming lives. After overcoming severe personal struggles, including a decade as a hikikomori (social recluse) and multiple suicide attempts, he independently studied psychology and therapy, developing methods that led to his own recovery and eventually helping others.
## Core Theory and Methodology
Nakashima's theory of self-acceptance centers on six fundamental elements:
- Sense of Existence: Feeling one's life has value
- Sense of Competence: Believing in one's abilities
- Sense of Belonging: Feeling accepted in society
- Sense of Security: Having a safe space
- Self-Trust: Being reliable and dependable
- Self-Esteem: Recognizing one's inherent worth
His methodology follows three key steps:
1. Self-Recognition: Acknowledging all aspects of oneself
2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing one's complete self
3. Self-Affirmation: Recognizing one's inherent value
## Impact and Work
Nakashima has authored several bestselling books, including "Three Steps to Enhance Self-Acceptance" and "How to Love Yourself." He conducts training sessions nationwide for corporations, educational institutions, and hospitals. His YouTube channel and daily newsletter provide practical guidance on self-acceptance and personal growth.
His unique contribution includes the concept of "mental brakes" - unconscious blocks formed from past trauma and negative thought patterns. He teaches that true self-acceptance isn't about forced positivity but embracing one's authentic self completely. Nakashima also introduces "fudoshin" (immovable mind) as the ultimate state of self-acceptance - maintaining inner stability regardless of external circumstances.
His work particularly resonates in Japanese society, where issues of self-worth and social pressure are prevalent. Through seminars, books, digital content, and counseling sessions, Nakashima continues to provide hope and practical guidance to those struggling with self-acceptance, while his principles are increasingly applied in organizational development to improve workplace relationships and employee well-being.
20episodes
Episodes
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The Power of Kanjo: Japanese Grit Meets Self-Affirmation
Mar 9, 202500:20:23Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailExploring the fascinating Japanese concept of kanjo (often translated as "grit") and how it intersects with self-affirmation techniques to create sustainable resilience without burnout.• Kanjo encompasses perseverance, willpower, and drive to push through challenges toward achieving goals• Traditional kanjo can create immense pressure when taken to extremes• Nakashima's mountain climbing analogy: self-efficacy is believing you can climb; self-affirmation is figuring out how to climb when the path seems impossible• The six senses of self-affirmation: self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-efficacy, self-trust, self-determination, and sense of usefulness• Practical techniques include reframing negative thoughts, the four good things exercise, if-then planning, and small timeline visualization• Self-affirmation acts as a counterbalance to kanjo, preventing burnout while maintaining determination• Finding balance between striving for goals and honoring personal needs creates sustainable resilience• The wabi-sabi spirit of embracing imperfection frees us from perfectionism while still pursuing growthWhat does kanjo mean to you, and how can self-affirmation empower you to embrace that spirit in a way that feels authentic, balanced and fulfilling?Description 2The ancient Japanese concept of kanjo captures something deeper than the English word "grit" can convey. This powerful cultural value encompasses perseverance, inner strength, and unwavering determination—qualities that have helped generations navigate life's harshest storms.But what happens when we apply this traditional wisdom to our modern, often overwhelming world? Drawing from the groundbreaking work of Japanese psychologist Teru Nakashima, we discover how self-affirmation techniques can transform kanjo from a potentially exhausting demand for perfection into a sustainable source of resilience and growth.Through Nakashima's mountain climbing analogy, we distinguish between merely believing we can overcome obstacles (self-efficacy) and developing the adaptability to find our path even when it seems impossible (self-affirmation). His framework of six senses—self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-efficacy, self-trust, self-determination, and a sense of usefulness—provides a balanced foundation for cultivating inner strength without burning out.We explore practical techniques like reframing negative thoughts, practicing daily gratitude through the "four good things" exercise, implementing if-then planning, and breaking down daunting goals through small timeline visualization. These tools help us maintain our kanjo spirit while honoring our humanity and limitations.The true power emerges when we blend traditional kanjo with modern self-affirmation—creating resilience that doesn't require sacrificing our wellbeing. Like the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi (finding beauty in imperfection), this approach frees us from the pressure of perfectionism while still encouraging continuous growth.What might your life look like if you embraced both the unwavering determination of kanjo and the compassionate self-awareness of Nakashima's teachings? How might you face challenges differently, with both strength and self-kindness as your companions?Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
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The Tree of Self-Affirmation: Nurturing Growth During School Refusal
Mar 9, 202500:22:37Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailFutoko in Japan represents a protective response rather than a problem, with over 240,000 students absent from school for 30 days or more as they instinctively conserve energy when overwhelmed.• School refusal often stems from overactivity in the amygdala, causing students to constantly perceive threats others might not notice• Speaker Nakashima's "Tree of Self-Affirmation" illustrates how futoko relates to weakened self-esteem and self-acceptance• Creating supportive environments involves shifting from "rescuing" to "accompanying" students through their healing journey• Fathers can provide structural support by creating "self-determination zones" giving children 30% control over their space• Mothers are encouraged to focus on affirming their child's existence rather than achievements• Simple activities like observing the sky together can activate the prefrontal cortex and support emotional regulation• Parents should resist forcing solutions and instead create environments where healing can happen naturally• The experience of futoko can be reframed as a necessary transformation, similar to a caterpillar in a cocoon• Success doesn't have to follow a linear path—sometimes detours lead to more authentic and fulfilling journeysFutoko—Japan's phenomenon of school refusal—affects over 240,000 students annually, but what if we've been looking at it all wrong? This fascinating deep dive challenges traditional perspectives by exploring how futoko may actually represent a protective response rather than defiance or laziness.Drawing from expert insights, we examine the neuroscience behind this phenomenon. Students experiencing futoko often display overactivity in their amygdala, essentially perceiving threats that others might not notice. Like a bird in a cage that eventually becomes still to preserve energy, these children aren't giving up—they're protecting themselves from overwhelming environments.Through Speaker Nakashima's powerful "Tree of Self-Affirmation" analogy, we explore how futoko often stems from weakened self-esteem and self-acceptance. This remarkable framework illustrates the journey from basic self-esteem (roots) through to self-worth (fruit), offering a roadmap for supporting children through this challenging period.The most transformative aspect of this exploration is the shift from "rescuing" to "accompanying"—recognizing that like trees in winter, apparent dormancy often masks profound internal growth. Parents are encouraged to create supportive environments where healing can happen naturally, with specific guidance for both mothers and fathers. From establishing "self-determination zones" that give children partial control over their space to simple activities like sky-watching that activate the prefrontal cortex, these practical strategies build resilience without forcing solutions.By reframing futoko as a necessary transformation—like a caterpillar in a cocoon—we discover that these apparent detours might lead to more authentic and fulfilling paths. For anyone supporting a child through school refusal or interested in alternative perspectives on education and mental health, this episode offers profound insights into nurturing growth during life's challenging transitions.Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
Transcribe →Embracing Authentic Self-Acceptance: Lessons from Teru Nakashima
Mar 7, 202500:20:13Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailTeru Nakashima's refreshing approach to personal development cuts through typical self-help clichés with nuanced wisdom about our minds and potential. Unlike gurus who deal in absolutes, Nakashima embraces life's complexities with practical insights that feel both revolutionary and deeply intuitive.His perspective on intuition as a double-edged sword challenges us to be discerning about our gut feelings, recognizing when emotions might be clouding our judgment. Rather than pursuing a singular "true self," Nakashima liberates us with the concept of multiple authentic selves – acknowledging that we naturally adapt to different contexts while remaining genuinely ourselves.The "rewriting the failure script" technique offers a powerful way to transform how past disappointments affect us. Through visualization practices borrowed from sports psychology, we can shift our emotional responses to past events without denying reality. This pairs beautifully with his radical self-acceptance philosophy, which distinguishes between liking all parts of ourselves and simply acknowledging them as aspects of our whole being.What truly sets Nakashima apart is his counterintuitive wisdom about confidence – that it typically follows action rather than preceding it. This perspective serves as an antidote to perfectionism and imposter syndrome, encouraging us to begin despite uncertainty. His seven-step goal achievement framework provides a structured approach while emphasizing self-awareness, specific actions, and continuous reflection.Throughout his teachings, Nakashima weaves together practical techniques with profound insights about our inherent worth and interconnectedness with others. He reminds us that even individual achievements rest on a foundation of support from family, friends, mentors, and broader societal systems.Whether you're feeling stuck in negative thought patterns, wrestling with self-doubt, or simply seeking a more authentic approach to personal growth, Nakashima's wisdom offers a refreshing alternative to one-size-fits-all self-improvement formulas. His message is clear: embrace your complexity, take action despite uncertainty, and trust that the universe responds when you commit to your path.Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
Transcribe →Self-Acceptance is the Rocket Fuel for Your Success
Mar 7, 202500:15:28Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailTeru Nakashima delivers a powerful, transformative lecture on the profound connection between self-acceptance and achievement. As founder of Japan's Self-Acceptance Academy, Nakashima vulnerably shares how he emerged from spending a decade as a hikikomori (in severe social withdrawal) to discover universal principles of success rooted in authentic self-acceptance.The lecture dismantles common misconceptions about authenticity, revealing that your true self isn't singular but multifaceted—you can be analytical professionally, playful with children, and contemplative spiritually without compromising authenticity. Using the vivid metaphor of a tree, Nakashima illustrates six essential elements of self-acceptance: self-worth (roots), self-acceptance (trunk), self-efficacy (branches), self-reliance (leaves), self-determination (flowers), and self-usefulness (fruits).Delving into success psychology, Nakashima presents three critical principles: harnessing intuition as your inner compass, understanding that action precedes confidence (not vice versa), and learning from failure without letting it define your identity. These principles come alive through compelling examples including a professional golfer who improved dramatically by trusting her intuition, Edison's 10,000 attempts, and a figure skater who overcame trauma through visualization. Most practically, Nakashima shares his seven-step framework for achievement and introduces the powerful technique of using present perfect tense affirmations ("I have done it") to create completion images that propel you toward success.Whether you're seeking to achieve specific goals, solve persistent problems, explore possibilities, or create systematic growth, this lecture offers actionable strategies grounded in the understanding that your inherent worth exists simply because you exist. The most successful people aren't those who never experience doubt—they're those who continue taking action despite challenges, guided by genuine self-acceptance and clear vision.Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
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How Self-Worth Shapes Your Anger Responses
Mar 7, 202500:11:57Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailDiscover the profound relationship between self-affirmation and anger management in our latest episode. Drawing on the expertise of Teru Nakashima, a celebrated Japanese psychological counselor, we explore how recognizing your inherent worth can transform your emotional landscape. You're invited to delve into the valuable strategies Nakashima provides to help manage anger effectively and cultivate a strong foundation of self-affirmation.Throughout the episode, we uncover the fascinating six-second rule for anger—an essential pause that allows you to choose your responses more thoughtfully. Anger can be physically draining and detrimental to your health, but with Nakashima's insights, you can turn these moments of frustration into growth opportunities. We also discuss how often unresolved anger leads to passive-aggressive behaviors that can damage relationships. Nakashima teaches us the importance of open communication and understanding, emphasizing the need to move from criticism to collaboration for healthier interactions. Every small step we take toward nurturing resilience and emotional literacy can lead to significant shifts in our lives.Join us to learn how building self-worth and effectively managing anger can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling existence. Tune in and embrace the journey of emotional mastery as we share practical tips, inspiring insights, and a holistic approach to overall well-being. Don't forget to subscribe, share your thoughts, and engage with us as we continue this exploration into emotional health!Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
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Embracing Imperfection: The Journey of Self-Acceptance
Mar 6, 202500:15:41Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailReady to explore the transformative power of self-acceptance? In this engaging episode, we dive deep into the insights of Japanese psychotherapist Teru Nakashima, who emphasizes the vital role that self-acceptance plays in our emotional health and resilience. Learn how our childhood experiences lay the groundwork for our self-perception and understand why embracing both our strengths and weaknesses is key to building a compassionate relationship with ourselves.We share practical strategies for cultivating self-acceptance, such as accepting negative emotions and employing “if-then planning” to preemptively manage challenges. The conversation further explores the importance of setting healthy boundaries by separating tasks, ultimately empowering ourselves to focus on what we can control.Discover how self-acceptance not only enhances our resilience but also frees mental energy for greater productivity and satisfaction in life. This episode is packed with actionable insights and personal reflections that will inspire you to treat yourself with kindness and to embrace your whole self. Expect to learn about the ripple effects self-acceptance can have in your relationships, decision-making, and overall happiness.Join us on this enlightening journey of self-discovery, and consider how you can start practicing self-acceptance as you navigate your life's challenges. Let’s embrace all parts of ourselves together!Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
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Be True to Yourself: The Wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson in Modern Life
Mar 6, 202500:18:04Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailIntroduction Hello and welcome to today's podcast. I'm Teru Nakashima, a psychological counselor and educator from "Japan", and I'm delighted to be speaking with you today about a philosophy that has profoundly shaped my, approach to life and my work with clients.Today, we're exploring one of the most powerful concepts from the American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson – the idea of "being true to yourself." In his seminal essay "Self-Reliance," Emerson wrote, "To be yourself, in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." These words, written in the 19th century, carry perhaps even more significance in our modern world.Ralph Waldo Emerson was a leading voice in American transcendentalism, a philosophical movement that emphasized individual intuition, the divinity of nature, and the importance of self-reliance. His ideas have influenced countless thinkers, writers, civil rights activists, and even modern business leaders. Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, was deeply influenced by Emerson's ideas on individualism. In Japan, Yukichi Fukuzawa, who helped modernize Japan during the Meiji Era, drew inspiration from Emerson's emphasis on independent thinking. And in recent times, President Barack Obama has repeatedly referenced Emerson's philosophy in his speeches about American resilience and self-determination.In the next 30 minutes, we'll explore what it truly means to be faithful to yourself, why this concept remains vital in our modern world, and how we can practically apply Emerson's wisdom to create lives of genuine fulfillment and purpose.Part 1: Emerson's Philosophy of Self-RelianceLet's begin by understanding the core of Emerson's philosophy. What does it actually mean to "be true to yourself"?In his essay "Self-Reliance," published in 1841, Emerson argued against conformity and for the supreme importance of trusting one's own instincts and ideas. He wrote, "What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think." This statement reflects his belief that we must follow our own internal compass rather than being guided by public opinion or societal expectations.Emerson further emphasized, "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind." For him, the greatest sin was not some external transgression but betraying your own authentic nature – what he called "self-betrayal." He believed that each individual has unique insights and gifts to offer the world, but these can only emerge when we have the courage to trust ourselves.Perhaps his most famous line from "Self-Reliance" captures this perfectly: "Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string." Emerson believed that deep within each of us is an intuitive knowledge of our own path – what he called the "aboriginal Self" or the "gleam of light" that shines through us. When we honor this inner knowing, we access our greatest power and authenticity.But Emerson was not advocating for mere selfishness or isolation. Rather, he believed that by being true to ourselves, we make our greatest contribution to humanity. As he wrote, "A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace." In other words, our truest joy and peace come from expressing our authentic nature in service to the world. Emerson also acknowledged how difficult this path can be. "For nonconformity, the world whips you with its displeasure," he warned. Yet he insisted that the rewards of self-trust far outweigh the temporary discomfort of standing apart from the crowd. "To be great is to be misunderstood," he famously wrote, suggesting that truly original thinkers and authentic individuals will alwayTeru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
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The Art of Self-Reliance: Lessons from Emerson
Mar 6, 202500:21:12Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailAre you navigating the challenging waters of self-doubt while trying to stay true to yourself? This episode delves into the profound wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson, a beacon for authenticity in a world often dominated by expectations. We explore the core principles of his philosophy, particularly the concept of self-reliance, emphasizing the power of trusting your instincts over conforming to societal norms. In today's society, where social media pressures us to conform, Emerson’s insight urges us to reconnect with our inner voice and pursue our true passions.Through engaging discussion, practical steps are offered to cultivate self-trust, such as daily reflections and acting on personal convictions. Real-world examples, including leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Steve Jobs who embodied these principles, illustrate how self-trust can lead not only to personal fulfillment but also to societal change. Join us as we embark on a journey of self-discovery that connects historical wisdom to modern life challenges, encouraging you to take meaningful steps toward authenticity. Trust yourself; the journey toward your true self begins here. Remember to subscribe, share, and connect with us for ongoing inspiration on self-trust and authentic living.Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
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The Happiness Within: Teru Nakashima's Path to Self-Affirmation and Joy
Mar 4, 202500:11:09Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailDiscovering Your Innate Happiness Through Self-Acceptance and Positive FocusThis document compiles key themes and ideas from psychological counselor Teru Nakashima's teachings on enhancing self-affirmation to achieve happiness. Nakashima asserts that by accepting, loving, and affirming oneself, one's perception of the world transforms and happiness increases. He teaches that humans are inherently happy and possess goodness from birth, and that by focusing on present happiness rather than pursuing satisfaction, we can live richer lives. The document also introduces specific exercises to cultivate personal happiness.Key Themes and Ideas:The Importance of Self-Affirmation: Loving yourself means understanding and acknowledging your various aspects. It's the feeling of "Wow, I really have so many different sides to me. That's amazing." Consider that all aspects of yourself, both good and bad, have value."When you affirm yourself, you can affirm the entire world around you." Self-affirmation leads to affirming others, trust, and love.Inherent Happiness: Humans are born happy and possess goodness at their core. "Humans are born with a good heart and are innately moving forward." Regardless of painful past events, it's important to believe firmly that "I am inherently happy."Focus on Present Happiness: Walk through life thinking "I am already sufficiently happy." It's essential to savor current happiness rather than feeling a sense of "lacking" something. Learn to think "both this and that" were good, rather than "either this or that."Change in Worldview: When you come to like yourself, your view of the world changes, and the surrounding world also begins to appear happier. "When you become happy, it's not so much that people around you become happy, but rather that those around you 'appear happier' to you." Your sensitivity to happiness increases, allowing you to be more tolerant even toward negative people or those you don't get along with.Emotional Control (Emotional Discipline): Rather than focusing on deficiencies like "I couldn't do it" or "I failed again," direct your attention to present happiness with thoughts like "I managed to do this much" or "Because I failed, I was able to learn."Exercises to Make Yourself Happy:Value Yourself: "By loving yourself, you'll begin to see the goodness in others." Practice the "Three Good Things" exercise explained in Nakashima's book "Self-Affirmation Notebook."Find and Utilize Your Strengths: "When you can utilize your strengths, you can enjoy each day more." Write down 30 wishes and identify those that align with both excitement and your strengths.Continue Making Small Challenges: "By continuing to challenge small things without fear of failure, your possibilities expand." Visualize your current situation, identify specific actions, and set challenge goals every 10 days.Important Quotes:"It's not about simply liking yourself and praising yourself more and more, but rather the feeling of 'Wow, I really have so many different sides to me. That's amazing.'""When you affirm yourself, you can affirm the entire world around you.""Humans are born with a good heart and are innately moving forward.""I hope you proceed through life thinking 'I am already sufficiently happy.'""When you become happy, it's not so much that people around you become happy, but rather that those around you 'appear happier' to you."Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
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The Happiness Blueprint: Teru Nakashima's Guide to Self-Affirmation and Fulfillment
Mar 4, 202500:13:02Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailTransforming Regret into Motivation and Discovering Happiness in Daily LifeOverview:This document compiles brief messages from psychological counselor Teru Nakashima on positive psychology and self-affirmation. The main themes include embracing regret, the importance of autonomy, discovering happiness, and methods to enhance self-determination. Through these messages, readers are provided with insights to boost their self-esteem and lead more fulfilling lives.Key Themes and Ideas:Embracing Regret: Regret should be viewed as evidence of passion rather than something to be denied. "Feeling regret means that your desires were strong. Regret is, in essence, proof of your remarkable passion."By learning from regret and transforming thoughts like "That was frustrating" into "Next time I'll do this," you can discover seeds of future happiness.The Importance of Autonomy: Living life autonomously is key to personal growth and realizing your true dreams. "When you live autonomously, you can control your own life. Following your own values and focusing on what's important allows you to achieve results more efficiently."By repeatedly taking autonomous actions and even experiencing failures, your confidence and self-affirmation grow.Discovering Happiness: Happiness doesn't depend on external factors but can be found by noticing small joys and moments of gratitude in daily life. "I believe happiness is something you 'notice.'""Try to focus on the small joys and moments of gratitude in your everyday life. Happiness isn't something you obtain by seeking it, but something you discover for yourself."Enhancing Self-Determination: Many feelings of dissatisfaction and regret stem from a lack of self-determination. Increasing self-determination improves performance and positively affects both mind and body. "The main cause of negative emotions like dissatisfaction and regret is the inability to maintain self-determination in a given situation."To enhance self-determination, you need confidence and the courage to make decisions.A "Lucky Memo" is an effective method to recognize your positive aspects and elevate your self-image.Key Facts and Ideas:Regret is an expression of passion and can be a catalyst for self-affirmation.Autonomy enables life control, personal growth, and self-realization.Happiness is hidden in everyday life and amplifies when you notice it.Self-determination influences mental health and performance.The Lucky Memo is a concrete tool for boosting self-esteem.Conclusion:Teru Nakashima's messages provide practical advice for enhancing self-affirmation and leading a more positive life. By embracing regret, maintaining autonomy, noticing daily happiness, and increasing self-determination, readers can walk a more fulfilling life path. Using specific tools like the Lucky Memo makes it easier to incorporate these concepts into daily life.Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
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