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Foreign.
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This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. You know, growing up, Jalen Brunson watched his dad work hard as a player on the Knicks and then as an assistant coach for the team. Brunson said that his dad's work ethic expired, inspired his own dedication to the sport, and now Jalen's an NBA champion. This hour we're taking your calls about the best advice and life lessons, lessons you got from your own father figure. Call and tell us what your dad or dad like person taught you. Call 2124-3396-9221-2433. WNYC. You can text us as well, but we'd like to hear your about your dad as well, because dads or dad like people are often they're a good source of advice. It can come as a joke, it can be an experience they had, or it can be solid counsel. I'll go first. While you guys are typing in and calling in, my dad taught me a lesson through a joke he told me. Now, you may have heard this before, but if you haven't, it's a good one. There was a priest at home during a terrible storm. There was an evacuation order set set aside for this seaside town. A police car rolled up to his house, knocked on the door and said, father, it's time to evacuate. And the priest said, I'm fine. My Lord and Savior will take care of me. The storm gets worse. The water has breached his house and flooded the first floor. A fire rescue boat goes by and yells at him, father, get in the boat. We're doing one last rounds of evacuation. There's no hope. And the father says, I'm fine, my son. The Lord and savior will take care of me. The firemen shrug and the boat leaves. Finally, a dam bursts and the father scrambles up to the roof of the house. A Coast Guard helicopter comes and the rescuers scream out, father, this is your last chance. Get in the basket. We can carry you out. The father says, I'm fine. My Lord and savior will take care of me well. The priest drowns, but he goes to heaven because he's a priest and God is showing him around and finally asked, do you have any questions, my son? The father says, well, I'm dead. Why didn't you take care of me? God waits a beat and he says, I sent you a car, a boat and a helicopter. What the hell else do you want from me? The lesson was your opportunity might not look like what you expect. He knew from his experience As a black man born in the 20s, and for me, as a woman of color, your opportunity might not look like some other people's opportunity. Keep your eyes open. Look for the cars, boats and helicopters. That's a lesson that my father taught me. What is the best piece of advice that you got from your father? Our number is 212-433-969-2212, wnyc. Call in. You can join us on the air. You can shout out your dad, too. Or if you want to text us, you can call 212-433-TALL or text 212-433-WNYC. I wanted to get some advice from all of it about what their fathers have taught them. Sasha, for people who don't know you. Hi, Sasha.
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C
Hi, Alison. So happy to be here.
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B
So your dad had an interesting career. Tell us about this.
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C
Yeah, so when I was growing up, my dad was a children's performer who went by the name of Dana Banana. You might have seen him perform at my Uncle Pete's store, Morningside Books on 110th street before it was Book Culture, Shout Out, Montclair Preque. He was a regular there as well. And you can imagine the depth of embarrassment that such a career might provoke an adolescent. He would travel to schools and libraries and do birthday parties. And, yes, that included my school. And he would perform dressed as a latke fairy for his Hanukkah album called Banonica I occasionally, you can check it out. It's a great album. Really great, you know, holiday album for the Jews out there. And, you know, I served as his assistant. I would be a mini latke fairy. And, you know, that was truly mortifying in the moment. But I think with age, I have come to appreciate it. And I'm kind of awed by the fact that he was so completely comfortable being out there in this way, being such a character. He really had no shame about it. There was no sense of embarrassment. And I think as an adult, I'm probably a little bit less plagued by embarrassment than I otherwise would be because of his, you could call it shameless creativity. You know, it was like exposure therapy. He just had a lot of confidence in what he did. He loved writing, performing music. And, you know, at the end of the day, people didn't really judge it. I didn't get shamed. You know, one of my friends actually thought he was, like, world famous. He was like Dana Banana, like the most famous, you know, performer of all time, the biggest musician in the world.
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I love Latke Ferri. I did not expect to hear that this morning. He also taught you about the value of communication through postcards?
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Yes.
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So one other, I feel like very concrete thing that I have carried with me through adulthood is postcards, the value of sending postcards. My dad was huge on postcards. Whenever we went to a restaurant or like a gallery, anywhere that had those free postcards that they give away, he would take a few and give each one to my siblings and me and say, you have to write a letter to a friend. And I would do it to different friends, depending on where I was, depending who I was thinking about. Um, we always had to write one to my grandma, but it was just like he carried stamps in his pockets. Every time there was an opportunity to send a postcard, we would send one. Um, and then I remember at my college library, there was a section like in the archives that had a stacks of free postcards with different sketches of the university buildings. And sometimes when I was procrastinating, I would pick up a little stack of postcards, and instead of writing my essays, I would just send little notes to. To my friends at different schools, back to my parents, sometimes even to friends at the same college, which I think was, like, fun. And people would be like, what do you do? Like, why. Why do you send that to me? You could go knock on my door. And I still send postcards on, like, every trip I take. Whenever I'm at a store or restaurant, I carry stamps with me in my pocket or in my wallet. It's nice, it's easy, and it really. It takes 10 seconds to do. You can, if you're in Colorado. Oh, that. My love for you is as big as these mountains. You can say six words and it'll make someone's day. Way less daunting than letter writing, which I haven't quite delved into with the same passion.
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Those are excellent lessons we're asking you. Thank you. Sasha, what's the best piece of advice that you got from your father? Our number is 2124-3396-9221-2433 wnyc. You can call in and join us on the air. You can shout out your dad too. Or if you want to text us. Our number is 212-433-9692. That's 212-433-WNYC. Let's talk to Alan on line one. Hey, Alan, thanks for calling, all of it.
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Thank you so much. I'm pulling over here and turning off the engine. It's an electric car anyway, my dad would have been 100 two weeks ago, June 4th. He passed away at the age of 90, 10 years ago. And he was a solo practitioner for as long as I've been alive. I'm 74 now. And he seldom gave any kind of explicit advice, either in serious or numerous language. He just did what he did, working hard, being committed to my mom, to us, to his job, to his community as a leader of our synagogue and giving to charity in ways he never bragged about or told about. There are donations that we found out about just when going through papers. After he passed away, he was so modest about his donations. And I'm realizing that he gave us most of his advice just by the way he lived and not by what he said.
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That's a lovely sentiment. Thank you for calling in. This text says, my dad, a father of eight, taught us always go to the funeral. It means to show up for people, especially in their hard times. Another text says, my dad's advice tomorrow is important, but not more important than today. We also have in studio Zach, another member of our team. Hi, Zach.
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Hello.
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So what did your dad teach you?
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Well, first of all, he taught me how to go dad. Like Sasha, you were talking about your. What's Dana Banana?
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Dana Banana. It's like a face palm.
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And my dad was like kind of the mayor of every room that he walked in, like gregarious, like, how's it going? You know? And I just remember growing up and being like dad. And I can only imagine it being a full time performer.
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C
There was a dad element to it.
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It's like a rite of passage. And also I just wanted to bounce off what that caller Allen was saying. We were having a discussion in the sort of in the Olivet slack about like, how did this advice come? And it was hardly ever like, let me sit you down and give you, deliver you on a silver platter this piece of advice. It was so often this leading by example. And one of the things that my dad led by example with is this idea of like, always never be afraid to be like someone's like the silly, goofy, maybe a little cringy part of someone's day. If it's a stranger, if it's someone that you're trying to get to know a little bit better, you can be a little goofy and silly and maybe embarrassing in the way that makes us go dad. And that's going to be a story for someone later on. And that's worth it. Just a lot of, a lot of that kind of stuff.
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Let's talk to Sherry who's calling from Princeton. Hey, Sherry, thanks for calling, all of it. How do you remember your dad? What's the best piece of advice you ever got from him?
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My father always told me, never let dinner spoil a good dessert. Now that can be taken just literally, which is the best I'd ever had taken. In a sense, never let what you have to do spoil your joy.
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Yes, that is good advice. Thank you so much. This text says, I watched my father after he was laid off in the 80s, spend nights pouring over books. He studied to be a nurse at 40. He was the first person in our family to go to community college, and I was the first of his children to go to college. My son just went to college and I've gone to grad school at. At 50 this year. My father taught me I will never be too old to learn. Thank you for sending that text. You're listening to all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart here with Sasha and Zach from team all of It. We are asking you, dear listeners, what's the best piece of advice you got from your father? Our number is 212-433-969-2212, wnyc. You can call in and join us on the air. You can shout out your dad, too, or if you text us. Our number is 212-433-9692. Let's go to Antonio on Staten Island. Hi, Antonio. Thank you so much for taking the time to call.
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All of it. Thank you. My father was a bit of a joker, but he gave me two pieces of advice. I'm 70 years old now that have served me well. And one of them was find the woman you like to sleep with and marry her. And the second piece of advice he gave me was in the 90s, buy as much Apple stock as you can at $5.
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Yeah, those were his priorities. Thank you so much for calling. Antonio. What else did your dad teach you? I'm really curious. I want to have your dad on as a guest, actually.
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I think he'd be pretty.
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He had this list of things and I was like, this is great. This is great. What else did he teach you?
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Sasha? Yeah, he's definitely a pretty idiosyncratic guy. So I had a lot of, like, pinpoints that I could reference. One of the things that we used to do as a kid, I'm not sure if we called it this explicitly, but it was sort of like CD roulette. I'm sure this used to be more common when CDs were more common. But he would take us to the CD area of Barnes and Noble, usually the sales section, and me and my brothers would each get to pick out a CD solely based on the COVID We'd have, like, a listening session in the car on the way home, and we'd listen to it at home, and there was kind of a winner. It's like, who, you know, did the best calculus of what cover would evoke the best music. And I swear, my family got really into Kings of Leonardo, like, years before they were super famous because he picked up a CD and was like, oh, this looks like a cool cover. And it was, like, on our rotation for a long time. And I think thinking about how that influences me, today I have a CD player, and I still do like to buy random CDs just to, like, see what's going on. And, you know, there's so many for really cheap in, like, bins and, you know, thrift stores, whatever. But I think I also take a similar approach to seeing live music and theater. I. I'm pretty down to see anything of any level. You know, the worst case scenario, it's bad. The best case scenario, you're ahead of the curve on something really wonderful. And also sometimes if it's bad, that's a good case too. It's fun to go to something a little weird and get to unpack it. But, yeah, he just had really expansive taste and was always, like, excited to explore different things. He was an opera singer or he's trained as an opera singer. So classical music, all kinds of music.
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B
What else does this guy do? Trained as an opera singer?
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C
Yeah, he was trained as an opera singer before he became a children's musician. So definitely classical music is something that he gave me. I don't know if that's advice, but definitely informed.
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B
Is there something that you like, Zach, that your dad sort of made you hip to
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hip and. Yeah, we're talking about dads here. I was gonna say he taught me a lot about human nature, again, by example. Growing up and young children. I watch them do this with my younger cousins and everything. No smiling on Saturdays. That was like a hard and fast rule with every child he came in across. And no smiling on Saturday. And without fail, they would crack up,
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they would lose it, because that's hilarious.
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Whoever heard of this rule? And that made me. It gave me a sense of what is human nature that makes us do that. His other one of those is, no matter what the time of day, the greeting is good morning. It's like a very, like, I'm staying. Good morning. And I've taken that as well. And it throws people. It throws some people off and some people are down for it. But it changes the dynamic in a way that leaves them open to it.
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It's so odd that it forces connection. Exactly.
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Let's talk to Jane from Glen Rock, New Jersey. Hi Jane, thanks for calling, all of it.
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Hi, Alison. So my father taught me to be fierce and to follow my dreams being an artist and filmmaker. But most of all, most importantly, he taught me that we should always stay on for the second ride on the Cyclone at Palisades Amusement Park.
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That.
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Okay, tell us why that is the absolute most important thing. Because if you stayed on for a second ride, you could really, really have the best time.
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Excellent advice. Thank you so much for calling. This is a really good text. My big best friend's father was a Holocaust survivor. He survived by escaping into the USSR the day Germany invaded Poland. When he drove us around, he would always stop the car, turn on the radio and listen intently to the news. When we asked why, he said, you never know when listening to the news will save your life. This is another one. Shout out to my dad Tom, who looked up to I looked up to my whole life and wanted to believe was the best man in the world. He recently taught me an important lesson. Believe that someone is who they show themselves to be, not who you wish they were. My father's best advice to me was to treat my credit card as a 30 day loan and really try to pay it off in full. Who wants to pay interest and fees on things like clothes and meals out with friends. Save your interest for serious purposes. This is from Luke, one of our team members. Hold on, let me get this up here. Luke says about his dad's advice. My dad really values work and working hard. I had no choice but to get a job job as soon as I was of age. No matter what we were doing, he always tells my sisters and I that if we show up on time and work hard, good things will come. Whether it was sports, school or a job, there are no shortcuts to replace good old fashioned hard work and eventually people will take notice. So I try to apply that to my life. My dad was also a high school principal so I really didn't have a choice. And Malik says the same thing. His dad was a high school principal. He Malik is also on our staff which means I got comfortable roaming around large school buildings and hung out with a lot of teenagers as a young Kid because he knew his students were great people. I participated in so many random after school activities. I once joined an after school boxing club for a week. Now I can't go anywhere without my dad running into his former students. They usually stop him at the mall to say how much he changed their lives.
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Wow.
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Let's talk to Gene on line four. Hey, Jean, thanks for calling, all of it. What did your dad teach you?
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Hi, thanks for taking my call. Great discussion. Two things. One, any man too big for a small job is too small for a big job. And the second one that I thought was real important was whenever you travel internationally, be a good ambassador of your country, be a good representative.
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Both great pieces of advice. Let's talk to Claire from Mahopac, New York. Hi, Claire. Thank you so much for taking the time to call, all of it. You're on the air.
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Hi, can you hear me?
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B
Yeah, I hear you. Great.
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Oh, excellent. So my dad was a firefighter for most of his adult life, and he's beloved by the men he supervised. But he had he spoken slogans. And the one that resonated with me most was the difficult is routine. The impossible takes a little longer. He was a great example of that.
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B
Ah, thank you so much for calling. This says my dad was a Freudian psychoanalyst, but his best advice was only be with people who make you feel good about yourself.
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D
Good advice.
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B
That is good advice. Hey, listeners, for Father's Day, we want to know what advice did your dad tell you about that you took to his took to heart? Your num. Our number is 2124-3396-9221-2433. WNYC. You can call in, you can join us on the air or if you want to text to us. Our number is 2124-3396-9221-2433. WNYC. You know, it's so interesting because I, I was gonna say this for the end of the show, but I'll do it now because we're gonna run out of time shortly is sometime after they pass away. My dad passed away a long time ago, and I was working for NPR at the time and I was guest hosting Weekend Edition. And I went on and it was shortly after my dad had passed away and we were doing sort of a segment like this, but my voice, it caught in my throat and I felt like I had to explain myself to listeners and they understood. I was really moved by that segment. I was saddened by it because it was so close. And then a Listener emailed me after and I have kept this message to this day and it said, alison, I was glad to hear you on the air yesterday. Your dad hired me. It was my second job out of school at the time. He was a board member and I was amazed when he came down to reception to collect me instead of sending an assistant for my first interview with him. He was a gem. I did not know he had died. He set me on a path to help the lives of many, many people. For what it's worth, your dad was one of the most influential people in my. I've watched and admired your career and I know how proud he was of you. Keep up the good works. With kind regards, Jane.
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C
That is so sweet.
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Isn't that lovely? I mean, I always knew in my heart that my dad helped as many people as he could and changed so many lives. But somebody would take the time to write that to me when they could tell that I was like, sort of so caught up in the moment. That was really sweet of her, I thought.
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C
And it's so cool that, yeah, taking the time and like, you know, having these anonymous people, realizing how many people he touched aside from you and your family.
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B
This text is from Diana. She says, my dad always believed everything is possible and every once in a while it proved to be true. So it is a piece of advice I tell my children when they are giving up something that is important to them because you never know. This next text says, my father taught us to look up. We would lay out at night and look at the stars and have such wonderful, deep conversations when we were children into teenage years. I'm so, so grateful for the space he built upwards and onwards.
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D
Beautiful.
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B
Isn't that lovely? Let's talk to Donna from Mount Vernon. Hey Donna, thanks for taking the time to call. All of it. You're on the air.
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A
Thank you. Thank you for taking my call. Yes. What did I learn from my dad? My dad was a young man that grew up on a sharecroppers farm in North Carolina by his grandparents. He didn't come up here till he was about 8 years old. And what I learned from my dad was to respect everyone. He called everyone friend. He ended up having his own business. He was a contractor and he hired people that most people would not hire, to the chagrin of my mom. But his idea was, you know, give everybody a chance, give them an arm up and they'll do better. So I learned from my dad to respect human life, to respect each individual. And he also told me never to leave home without cash.
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B
Oh, yeah. My dad was big on that one, too. Never leave home without cash. A couple nickels in your pocket, he used to say. Let's talk to Alex in Queens. Hey, Alex, thanks for calling, all of it.
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Hi. How are you doing?
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All right.
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So this. This advice my grandfather actually gave me, but I figured it's close enough. Sure. When I was six years old, he caught me trying to steal his moonshot. So he gave me advice on alcohol. That's been working for me my whole life. He said to alcohol, there's only two rules. If I follow those two rules, I will never have a problem with alcohol. It will never control me. I will always control it. And the two rules are very simple. Rule number one, never drink alone. Rule number two, only when you're happy, never when you're sad.
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B
That sounds like a good country song.
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C
Pretty wise.
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B
Thanks so much. This text. This text says, my dad taught me. One, listen to public radio.
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D
Yes.
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B
Two, believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. Also, don't gossip. And three, masculinity doesn't need to look like muscles or guns. Even men who wear purple T shirts and WBGO socks play multiple instruments and love art and math can be real men.
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C
Kind of like the latke fairy.
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B
A little bit. A little bit. Hang on a second. Let's talk to Mike in Queens. Hey, Mike, thanks for calling, all of it. You're on the air.
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A
Thank you. My dad always said he was an entrepreneur, came from Europe as an immigrant. And he always said, if you need a business card, you're in the wrong business.
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D
What was. What was his business?
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He was a cabinet maker. Contractor. Kind of an old school craftsman. Furniture maker, cabinet maker from the out.
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D
Very cool.
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B
Love that. Let's talk to Ginny from Bloomfield, New Jersey. Hey, Ginny, thanks for calling, all of it. What advice did you get from your father?
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A
Oh, wow. I'm so excited. As I told your screener, this may sound negative, but I have to give it a little context. When I was somewhere between 8 and 10, I couldn't go to some fun event because I had a cold. And I said, that's not fair. And my dad said, well, life isn't fair. And he said it as gently as possible. And it was such a revelation to me because up until that point, I had thought that life was fair, that everything worked out, that everything had a happy ending. And it was just so eye opening to me. And he was such a good and kind person. And it must have been hard for him to say that. To me. But I have always appreciated and always thought about it when something isn't fair.
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B
That's really good advice. All advice does not have to be sort of rosy and wonderful, as she just said. As Jeanne just said. That was a really good piece of advice that her dad gave her.
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D
And I think dads in particular, like, have this onus of being able to deliver that. The harder stuff in a gentle and kind and loving way. It's. It's really special to hear.
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B
Let's talk to Eric on Long Island. Hey, Eric, thanks for calling all of it.
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A
How you doing? Really cool to be on.
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B
Love it. What'd your dad teach you?
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A
My dad always taught me to always dance and especially to ask people to dance if you're in a party or an event or even if you're just in your own house. He always taught our siblings you could go out and ask somebody to dance. And it's such a fantastic thing to do between two people, that movement. It's such a fantastic connection. So just wanted to share that. Thank you so much.
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B
That is excellent.
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C
That's really awesome.
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B
I like that advice. Let's talk to Bill from New Jersey. Hey, Bill, thanks for calling, all of it. What did your dad teach you?
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A
Hi. Yeah. Whenever my dad fixed something around the house, he would always make me do it with him, even if I didn't want to. And now I have all his tools. And whenever I pick something around my house, I know why I know how to do it. And when I reach for one of his tools, I act like he's handing it to me and I just say, thanks, Pop.
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B
Oh, that's really sweet. It's funny, I used to go to the. I don't know anybody from this area will know what a channel store was. It was sort of Home Depot before it was Home Depot. It was sort of like all lumber. And my dad had a honey do list on the weekend. You know, honey do this, honey do that. I used to just go with him to the store and I used to get like. He gave me like, 50 cents and I could go over to the. The stationary aisle because they had, like, pencils and pens and all that kind of stuff. And that was a good Saturday.
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C
Oh, yeah, definitely.
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B
You know. Did you spend any days with your dad?
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C
Definitely.
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B
I mean, the latke fairy.
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C
The latke fairy, Yeah. I mean, we spent a lot of time together. I feel like one of the things that sort of like, he showed me and didn't tell me is he's a pretty impulsive guy. A Pretty spontaneous guy is a different lens of looking at it. He would just pull over at like every roadside attraction, like a farm stand, the Button Museum. We were driving through the south. He used to stop at the church where Al Green was a preacher. The giant L.L. bean boot. More often than not. It was a really good time. And I feel like popping in somewhere and getting a little something. Definitely picking up a little swag from the every little spot, including the hardware store, I think was fun. The value of a good pen should never be underestimated.
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B
Never be underestimated. Let's talk to Cheryl on line 10. Hey, Cheryl, thanks for calling, all of it. You're on the air.
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A
Hi. Thanks for having me on. So my father was a World War II Marine, proud vet. He died when he was 97. He worked up till the day he died and he always had these sayings. And I used to, when I was young, I'd always roll my eyes around in my head. But now as I get much older, the three sayings that always stick with me is measure twice, cut once. Yep. The other one is never let a camel get his nose in your tent. And the third
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D
one.
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B
I got that. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Got it.
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A
And the third one is a leopard never changes its spots.
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B
All good pieces of advice. I want to leave you with this one, guys. This is a really good one. Zach and Sasha and everybody listening. It's important to let your kids know that they are loved, which he did. But it's equally important to let them know that they are liked.
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C
Yes.
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B
So that was a really good way to end the sentence. End this segment. Anything you want to share about your dads before we move on to our
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next guest, Just happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. The royal dad, you know, everyone, my dad, your dad, and it's pride. Happy, happy Father's Day to the gay dads and the trans dads and all dads.
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C
Absolutely. Yeah. I love you, dad. I'm sure you'll listen now or listen later. But last thing is, thanks for giving me so much Knicks gear in the years leading up to this year because I felt like a real sort of indoctrinated fan and that served me well in the past few weeks.
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B
Sasha and Zach, thanks so much.
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D
Thanks, Alison.
- [29:41]
C
Thanks, Alison.
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Singer and actor Megan Hilty returns to the Cafe Carlisle for a series of intimate shows running through June 27th. She'll join us to give us a preview. That's next. Fourth of July Savings are happening now at the Home Depot with select appliances starting at $398 plus get free delivery on appliance purchases of $398 or more. No membership required. Upgrade your kitchen with a modern and sleek GE Profile refrigerator featuring hands free autofill for the perfect pour every time and make laundry day easier with 2 in 1 washer dryer combo innovation that completes laundry in about 90 minutes. Shop Top brand appliances now at the Home Depot offer valid June 17th July at the US only C store online for details and now for a bit of breaking news. Between your breaking news with me, the Geico Gecko, here are some things you ought to know today. People who switch their car insurance to geico save about $900 a year. Experts are calling that nice to know. Also, plants can hear when bees buzz. My ficus just heard that. And finally, animal experts have confirmed that goats have regional accents. I'm getting a hint of Irish there. It feels good to get good news. It feels good to gecko.