Dial-A-Pep Talk with Josh Gondelman

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: All Of It – "Dial-A-Pep Talk with Josh Gondelman"

Release Date: December 20, 2024
Host: Kate Hines (In Place of Alison Stewart)
Guest: Josh Gondelman, Comedian and Author
Duration: Approximately 29 minutes

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Introduction: Setting the Stage for Pep Talks

In this heartwarming episode of All Of It, host Kate Hines welcomes comedian and author Josh Gondelman to discuss the art of giving pep talks. As the holiday season approaches—a time often accompanied by both excitement and anxiety—the episode focuses on spreading positivity and providing support to listeners who might be feeling overwhelmed. Josh shares his unique approach to delivering encouraging words, drawing from his personal experiences and professional endeavors.

Josh Gondelman's Journey into Pep Talks

[00:57] Josh Gondelman:
“Thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure to be here with you. I consider my pep talk knack just I have a sense for telling people what they want to hear.”

Josh explains how his ability to deliver effective pep talks began on an unexpected platform—Twitter. Facing a professional slump, he reached out to his followers seeking encouragement. This interaction inspired him to extend the same support to others, leading to the creation of his weekly newsletter, That's Marvelous, which culminates in personalized pep talks for a diverse audience.

Engaging with Listener Stories: Navigating Family Dynamics

The episode delves into the complexities of family interactions, particularly during holiday gatherings. A listener named Kate shares her apprehensions about hosting a family Yankee Swap, a gift-exchange tradition that previously led to tension.

[03:50] Josh Gondelman:
“It sounds like you've done everything right that you can to try to assure that this will be a smooth and generous and wonderful time for everyone.”
“If it goes off the rails, that's not your fault.”

Josh advises Kate to focus on the positive efforts she's made to foster a harmonious environment, reassuring her that any unforeseen disruptions are beyond her control. He emphasizes the importance of creating a loving atmosphere and trusting in the goodwill of family members.

Handling Unexpected Challenges: The Stomach Bug Scenario

Another listener reaches out with a less emotional but equally pressing concern: dealing with a severe stomach bug that's affecting her preschool.

[05:06] Josh Gondelman:
“Good luck, stay hydrated and barf wisely.”

Balancing humor and empathy, Josh acknowledges the discomfort while offering practical advice. Drawing from his experience as a former preschool teacher, he normalizes the situation and encourages resilience.

Honoring Loss: Supporting Grieving Pet Owners

Linda from Milwaukee shares her grief over the loss of her dog, Matilda, to gallbladder mucilae. Josh connects by recounting the recent passing of his elderly pug, emphasizing the deep emotional bonds between humans and their pets.

[07:05] Josh Gondelman:
“Taking comfort in the good years you spent together... allows you to warm even in times of despair and loss.”

He underscores the importance of cherishing memories and recognizing that grief is a natural response to loss, offering Linda heartfelt sympathy and encouragement to honor her pet's legacy.

The Genesis of Josh's Pep Talk Mission

[08:07] Josh Gondelman:
“It really did help me to say this kind of thing to other people and realize, like, oh, not everything is okay in the moment, but there are ways through or comforts to be found...”

Josh narrates how personal struggles during a canceled gig led him to reach out for support on Twitter. This act of seeking and providing encouragement became the foundation for his ongoing mission to uplift others through pep talks.

Crafting Effective Pep Talks: Key Elements

When asked about the essential components of a good pep talk, Josh highlights the necessity of understanding the individual's unique situation and responding with sincerity.

[09:20] Josh Gondelman:
“Pep talks aren't a one size fits all type of thing. You can't just be like, gonna be fine... hear what people are saying, respond sincerely.”

He shares an anecdote from his experience on the show "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," advising a listener expecting a baby to focus on potential positives rather than dwelling on possible negatives.

Interactive Segment: Live Listener Pep Talks

Throughout the episode, Kate and Josh engage with live callers, offering personalized pep talks tailored to each listener's specific challenges:

1. Retirement and Seeking New Purpose

   • Listener's Concern: Feeling lost post-retirement and contemplating a new job.
   • Josh's Advice:
     “Big change takes time to adjust... fill that time with new routine and new meaning.”
     He emphasizes embracing new opportunities and finding fulfillment beyond traditional work structures.

2. Driving Through a Blistering Winter to Reunite with a Loved One

   • Michael from the Finger Lakes:
     Josh reassures him of the love awaiting at the journey's end, framing the bleak winter landscape as a temporary hurdle.

3. Navigating Singlehood During the Holidays

   • Woman in Her Late 40s:
     Josh encourages focusing on existing meaningful relationships and appreciating personal autonomy, highlighting the value of being content with oneself.

4. Dealing with Sibling Conflicts Post-Election

   • Sally from Basking Ridge, NJ:
     Josh acknowledges the difficulty of reconciling amidst political disagreements, urging patience and continued genuine efforts to mend the relationship.

5. Coping with the Loss of a Life Partner and Business Partner

   • Jerry from Manhattan:
     He offers deep empathy and advises maintaining Lou Stallman's legacy through artistic endeavors, fostering a sense of ongoing connection.

Strategies for Harmonious Family Gatherings

A listener expresses concern about managing annoyance towards a sibling during upcoming family Christmas celebrations, especially after previous disruptions caused by COVID-19.

[23:02] Josh Gondelman:
“It's okay to go well. They have to understand me like you deserve as much understanding as you're trying to extend.”

Josh advocates for mutual understanding and setting personal boundaries, recognizing that while reconciliation is essential, it should not come at the expense of one's well-being.

Looking Ahead: Pep Talks for the Future

In the final segments, Josh offers universal encouragement as listeners prepare to enter 2025.

[27:48] Josh Gondelman:
“Things can always improve... you can always be a part of the solution.”

He motivates listeners to engage in positive actions, whether through volunteering, seeking help, or supporting others, reinforcing the notion that individual efforts contribute to collective betterment.

Closing Thoughts: Reflecting on Encouragement

As the episode concludes, Josh shares a personal anecdote about the best pep talk he ever received—from his wife—highlighting the profound impact of love and support.

[28:38] Josh Gondelman:
“My wife is so encouraging and she's just like the most wonderful, generous person...”

Additional Resources and Farewell

Josh directs listeners to his newsletter, That's Marvelous, and announces his standup show, Frankenstein's Baby. The episode wraps up with warm holiday wishes from both Kate and Josh, leaving listeners with a sense of community and encouragement.

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Notable Quotes:

• Josh Gondelman [00:57]:
  “I have a sense for telling people what they want to hear.”

• Josh Gondelman [03:51]:
  “You've tried to create a loving, warm, gift-giving environment... it's not your fault if things go wrong.”

• Josh Gondelman [08:07]:
  “Not everything is okay in the moment, but there are ways through or comforts to be found.”

• Josh Gondelman [11:38]:
  “A big change takes time to adjust... it's natural to feel out of kilter.”

• Josh Gondelman [17:05]:
  “It's always tough to not be in a situation that you want to be in.”

• Josh Gondelman [27:48]:
  “You can always be a part of the solution, and you can always look for someone to help you solve problems.”

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This episode of All Of It masterfully blends humor, empathy, and practical advice, offering a sanctuary of support during the often tumultuous holiday season. Josh Gondelman's expertise in delivering personalized pep talks provides listeners with valuable insights and emotional comfort, embodying the show's mission to explore and celebrate the multifaceted nature of culture and its consumers.

Transcript

[Josh Gondelman]

Listener support, WNYC Studios.

[Kate Hines]

This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Kate Hines in for Alison Stewart. It's Friday and we're about to enter the last weekend before the holiday season, which can be both exhilarating and nervous making. And so we figured it was a good time to put some good vibes out there and spread some joy, especially if you're having a hard time right now. So if something is weighing on you, share it with us and we'll give you a pep talk. Now, pep talks, motivational speeches are not easy. We love to hear them, but giving them requires insight, empathy, the right words, the right tone, and always the right person. And luckily we have all of that with our guest today, comedian, author, friend of the show and all around really lovely guy, Josh Gondelman. Josh, welcome back to wnyc.

[Josh Gondelman]

Thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure to be here with you. I consider my pep talk knack just I have a sense for telling people what they want to hear.

[Kate Hines]

Well, sometimes that's what you need to get over a little bump.

[Josh Gondelman]

I think so. I think we talk down to yes men, but sometimes you just need to hear yes, and I'm the man for the job.

[Kate Hines]

I want to mention that you write a weekly newsletter that's called that's Marvelous. And it always concludes with a pep talk to whoever or whatever needs them. And I noticed that your most recent one included Yoon Suk Yeol, South Korea's recently impeached president. So you're not just restricting your pep talks to people who are walking the straight and narrow.

[Josh Gondelman]

Nope. Look, I will address anybody that I think needs some pep. I think much like Pitbull, I am bald and worldwide. So the deposed, or, excuse me, impeached president of South Korea is not off limits. And I think he's got all this time now to explore his other interests. Perhaps President Barack Obama, he will start up a production company, hang a shingle, perhaps like impeach President Donald Trump, he will become the leader of the country again. Who knows? But he has the time to refocus. And isn't that a gift? A little paid time off.

[Kate Hines]

It really could be. Listeners, if you are in the mood for a pep talk, if you feel like you've got a lot on your plate, you're nervous about the holidays, you're putting off a task you need to take care of, or maybe you just want to feel better. As the temperature drops and we face our longest night. Give us a call. Give us a call. Give us a quick summary of what's happening and Josh will talk you up. That number is 212-433-9692. That's 212-433-WNYC. You can also text us at that number. Do you have something weighing on your mind that we can help you tackle with a little extra motivation? Or maybe if you hear someone call in and you feel like, gosh, I've been in that situation and I have a pep talk, I can deliver them. Call us 212-433-9692. And remember, we don't love to take calls from people behind the wheel. And if you're using Bluetooth, try not to. The audio quality is better. These are the kinds of talking tos you get when you put a producer in a host chair. I'm really concerned about audio quality. All right, 212-433-9692. Call in for your pep talk. And let's do the first one for me because I could use a little pep talk. Of course, I'm hosting my family Christmas celebration. I do that most years. And every year our gift giving has been channeled through something called Yankee Swap, also known as White Elephant. And it basically has worked well. A couple of years ago, it got completely derailed due to some family dynamics and there were bad feelings. And I'm hoping this year we can all have a more positive experience. We've talked it through. I feel like we're in good shape, but I admit to a little bit of trepidation.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Kate Hines]

So how can I go into the family Yankee Swap feeling okay?

[Josh Gondelman]

I think it's always hard to enter a situation that's been complicated or painful before. Right. Because you worry about what, what problems can reoccur. And that's very natural because sometimes people repeat mistakes, sometimes people repeat on purposes that are destructive. And I think one thing about this is that it sounds like you've done everything right that you can to try to assure that this will be a smooth and generous and wonderful time for everyone. Right. The titular, wonderful Christmas time. If we listen to Sir Paul McCartney.

[Kate Hines]

Please have. Yes. Thank you.

[Josh Gondelman]

So I think that you've done all you can. You've tried to create a loving, warm, gift giving environment other people seem to have. It sounds like they've committed to it. And all that said, it probably will go great. Given that these are people that care about each other and want it to go well. It's in nobody's best interest for it to go badly. And then secondarily, if it goes off the rails. That's not your fault. So these are all things that I think are helpful to know that you didn't somehow screw up if someone gets a little twisted up around it.

[Kate Hines]

We just got a text that says the worst stomach bug in the world is going around my preschool. And today on the last day of class, my stomach is starting to hurt. Tell me what to do to avoid barfing my brains out for the next three days. That sounds less like a pep talk and more like medical advice.

[Josh Gondelman]

But if you have any sense of wisdom, which I am deeply unqualified for, I will say as a former preschool teacher, I feel this one deeply. I taught pre K for several years and it's just unavoidable. You see it coming towards you like a zombie horde, the stomach bug. And sometimes the only way out is through barf. So you may have to barf, but the thing about a stomach bug is that once it bugs you, it's out of ya. And so good luck, stay hydrated and barf wisely.

[Kate Hines]

Listeners, if you have a non medical related pep talk requirement, give us a call. 212-433-9692. You can also text us at that number, 212-433. And now we have Linda in Milwaukee. Hi Linda, welcome to all of it.

[Linda]

Hi, thank you for having me here on all of it to talk with you guys. I love you.

[Kate Hines]

Thank you for joining us. What did you want to say?

[Linda]

Well, I was calling to have a pep talk. I unexpectedly lost my not quite middle aged dog, a blue ticked coonhound, to a disease called gallbladder mucilae. And I just thought she had perhaps.

[Josh Gondelman]

A food poisoning and within two and a half months she was dead and.

[Linda]

Just having problem dealing with it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, that's so painful and I'm so sorry for your loss. I recently said goodbye to my. We had an elderly pug, she was 17 years old, which in pug years is 17 years longer than science says they should live. So we really lucked out. I think in this situation it is, you know, it's not gonna feel good right away. It's not gonna feel okay right away. But taking comfort in the good years you spent together, the good life that you gave this animal companion, and the fact that you did everything you could to make them happy and comfortable in the time you shared together, I think is something you can allow to warm you even in this kind of time of despair and loss. And you know, it is really real. It hits you at weird times and you just kind of have to feel those feelings as they arrive and know and take comfort in the fact that you had so much great time together. And this loss doesn't diminish that and doesn't diminish the memories.

[Kate Hines]

Linda, what was your dog's name?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, you said more. Matilda.

[Kate Hines]

Matilda.

[Josh Gondelman]

Beautiful name.

[Kate Hines]

Linda, thank you so much for calling, and we're really sorry for your loss.

[Linda]

Thank you. And my dog, Matilda, thanks you for making me feel better.

[Kate Hines]

Thank you. Josh, how did you get started giving pep talk?

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, it was a Twitter thing. Back when Twitter was Twitter before it was the other thing. And I just was in kind of a slump professionally. And I needed to hear. Just needed to hear anyone go, hey, it's gonna be fine. It's fine. This is bad. But then bad becomes fine eventually, a lot of the time. And instead of kind of asking to hear that, I thought, you know, if I can put that energy out into the world, I can internalize it myself. So I put out a call kind of late at night after a gig that had gotten canceled because the promoter got there the morning of and the venue was padlocked shut. And I just thought, well, this is really a metaphor for how my career feels. But I put out a call. I said, does anyone need to hear an encouraging word? And I got some requests, including, like, I got these sunglasses I don't know if I can pull off. And I was just like, I don't know. If you think you're pulling them off, you're pulling them off. That's the rule of sunglasses. And so it really did help me to say this kind of thing to other people and realize, like, oh, not everything is okay in the moment, but there are ways through or comforts to be found, even in really difficult situations.

[Kate Hines]

What are the elements of a good pep talk?

[Josh Gondelman]

I think you really have to hear where people are coming from and what the problem is. Right. Pep talks aren't a one size fits all type of thing. You can't just be like, gonna be fine. Cause that's not what everybody needs to hear. And it's not even the reality of all situations. So hear what people are saying, respond sincerely. And do really think. I mean, I recently did. I hope this isn't telling tales out of school, but I recently got to leave one of the voicemail messages as a winner on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me.

[Kate Hines]

Oh, my gosh.

[Josh Gondelman]

For a winner on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me. Which is very thrilling. This is only my second one. I don't get requested that often, but they Asked for a pep talk too. And one thing, they're having a baby in a few months. And one thing to think about is like, all the things that can go right. You know, I think focusing on what can go wrong in a high stakes situation is natural and you want to prevent things from going wrong, whether it's a newborn child or a Yankee swap. But thinking about all the ways things could go right and allowing those possibilities to take up the commensurate amount of space is like a very helpful way to start.

[Kate Hines]

Right. I tend to be a worst case scenario person in real life, so I'm always reminding myself, you know, what if thing, what if it like dreaded event X? What if event X actually goes well, what if something really good happens at event X?

[Josh Gondelman]

It's so helpful. I had something a few weeks ago that I was like, you know, it was a time commitment that I wasn't super looking forward to. It was kind of put on my calendar by someone else. You know, it was like an obligation rather than a choice. And the day of I went, oh, I mean, I'm cranky about this, but like, probably it will be a nice time. You will find people to connect with and you will, you have things in common with some of the folks that are there. And I ended up like going with an open mind to that and having a really lovely time.

[Kate Hines]

We've got a lot of texts coming in, listeners. I also want to remind you, you can call and get encouragement from Josh Gondelman in person. 212-433-9692. That's 212-433, WNYC. Okay. Hi, thank you. I need a pep talk. I retired two weeks ago and feel very lost. I think I need a new job.

[Josh Gondelman]

Ooh, okay, so maybe that's the answer. Certainly I don't know your life as well as you do. I don't wanna say that's not the answer. But a big change takes time to adjust, right? And I think, like, especially when it's drastic and when you're going from something where you feel very engaged and productive to something where you have a lot of wide open time and energy to fill it with, it is easy to think like, you know, I should be doing more. But that is one, a lie that capitalism tells us a lot of the time, right? Is that you should be producing things. And two, like, it's just natural to feel out of kilter or off kilter because you haven't filled up this time with new routine and new meaning yet. And so you can Fill that with whatever you want. And that's really daunting to think, like, what if I don't know how to do? But the 24 hours are gonna pass no matter what you do. And I think soon you will find ways to spend that time meaningfully, whether it's volunteering or, you know, taking up new hobbies or any kind of visiting friends. Like any kind of thing is an appropriate way to fill this time. And you'll figure it out. Or whether it's a new job.

[Kate Hines]

Right. Two ways. I just want to underscore that two weeks is like five minutes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally.

[Kate Hines]

Especially if you've been working for decades.

[Josh Gondelman]

Whenever I finish a project, I'm always like, kicking my own butt over, why don't I have the next idea yet? And it really has. Excuse me. It really has sunk in over the years that I just need a little time to let the stakes sit and let my brain kind of cook all the way through and then start to think about some new ideas.

[Kate Hines]

All right, we are gonna talk to Michael, who is pulled over in the Finger Lakes region.

[Josh Gondelman]

Very nice.

[Kate Hines]

Hi, Michael. Welcome to all of of it.

[Linda]

Hi, Kate. Hi, Josh. Thanks for all you do. Like a lot of people, I'm driving through kind of a bleak winter hellscape. Got hundreds of miles of gray road ahead of me, separating me from the one I love. Hoping you can give a pep talk to all of us who are in that situation at the holidays. One little twist. I think the one I love happens to be sitting next to you in the studio. Josh.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, you will make it here. This is great. You have such a great goal in mind. And the time that you spend in transit in this bleakness is just. It's so small compared to the love that you're carrying with you and the love waiting for you on the other side of this journey. And the bleakness of winter, the kind of gray semi snow that we're experiencing here in New York city, the whatever 33 degree temperatures are a reminder that it's good that our climate hasn't fully cooked yet. So that is whenever I'm outside and pulling a jacket close to me and the winds are whipping around and I'm cursing God or Saturn, as mentioned earlier, I think, oh, thank goodness we can still act in the best interest of our climate and our Earth.

[Kate Hines]

Okay, I just have a couple of words for Michael. Michael, if you feel like you can't drive safely, do not drive. Pull over and ride it out. Look for the local weather forecast and make sure that the snow is gonna stop before you get back on the road and be really safe. But you're driving an all wheel drive car and I have a lot of confidence in you.

[Linda]

Thank you, Kate.

[Josh Gondelman]

Thanks for calling. Michael Pulled over in the Finger Lakes is a great would be the great first line to a song by the Hold Steady.

[Kate Hines]

We will have more with Josh Gondelman right after a quick break. Stay with this is all of it on this radio. Idle hands of the devil's workshop.

[Linda]

Actions speak louder than words.

[Josh Gondelman]

Take a look at some age old wisdom. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. The kind of stuff that's been passed down for centuries. And we ask the early bird is handy with the word.

[Kate Hines]

Is there a lick of truth to any of it?

[Josh Gondelman]

Curiosity killed the adage from Radiolab. Listen wherever you get podcasts.

[Kate Hines]

This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Kate Hines in for Alison Stewart and I'm here with comedian, writer and pep talk giver Josh Gondelman. Josh, we've been getting a ton of texts from people and I want to just circle back to our caller, Linda from I believe Milwaukee earlier, who lost her pet, Someone texted us to say the Animal Medical center in Manhattan offers grief counseling for people who have lost a pet companion. And I highly recommend it. So Linda, if you're still listening, I don't know if the Animal Medical center does this via Zoom, but if they don't, there may be another place in your neighborhood that does and know that a couple of people have reached out to you to share their condolences.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's really beautiful.

[Kate Hines]

All right, we have a text from a listener who would, who would love a pep talk who says, hi, I'm a woman in my late 40s and perpetually single. Bad luck. Haven't found the right person. Holidays are tough, not because of any pressure from my family, but because it marks another year of being on my own and missing this big piece of my life that I'm still hoping for.

[Josh Gondelman]

Sure.

[Kate Hines]

It's a tough one.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, that is tough. It's always tough to not be in a situation that you want to be in. Right. And to be striving for something. I do think, though, and this is like a real kind of Pollyanna ish attitude and I know in the face of like a real feeling of stress and strain personally, but I do think it is also a perfect time. Right. The holidays and single romantically is a really lovely time to take stock of all the fulfilling relationships that are in your life. Yeah. To think about all the people who you love and who love you and who care about you and who are reaching out or who you could reach out to if you wanted conversation or company or support. And do you think of, like, how nice it is to not be in the wrong relationship, even in the lowest stakes version, right, of dating someone and going, you know, this is not it for me. This has run its course. I feel nothing or I feel resentment, or I feel just a desire to walk out the door or even just change the channel on the TV and go, no, I'm gonna do. This is gonna go my way. And I think it's. We talk about romantic partnership as such a focal point of our lives, but there are so many other wonderful, important relationships that fill so much of life and can fill so much of your life. And then again, the wrong relationship. What a dragon, right?

[Kate Hines]

Well, we have a listener on the line who has a different kind of relationship and needs a pep talk about it. Jerry in Manhattan. Hi, Jerry. Welcome to all of it.

[Linda]

Oh, hi, Kate and Josh. I want to tell you my story quickly. I'm a songwriter, and I had a domestic partner and also a music collaborator and business partner named Lou Stallman. He wrote the Here Come the Yankees, official theme song for the Yankees, and he wrote the song It's Gonna Take a Miracle by Laura Nero and the Roylettes and Denise Williams. He passed two years ago in the winter. He was in his 80s, and I have never been the same since because I was left with a lot of financial things to do for his estate. I had some other challenges in life. An elderly mother, and I really missed my friend. And with all I had to do, I couldn't even properly, you know, get PR to the news about this great songwriter passing. He also wrote the song Round and Round, which I don't know if you guys know, but it was Sia's big Christmas song and Target ads back in the Christmas of 2018. And he was alive at that time and so happy and proud that a modern great singer like Sia recorded his song, which was originally done in the 50s by a singer named Perry Como. Talk about a different generation, but two brilliant artists. I really miss my friend. I'm trying hard to live up to his legacy.

[Kate Hines]

Oh, Jerry.

[Linda]

And I need a little bit of a pep talk.

[Kate Hines]

Jerry, before Josh gets started, can you just say your friend's full name again? Because I want to make sure that we say it on the air.

[Linda]

My friend was a Tin Pan Alley songwriter named Lou Stallman. S T A double L, M A N. And he was Very known in the industry. Not a household name, but he had tons of hit records and recordings. People who were, like, big fans of music of the 50s, 60s, and 70s will know his name. He even had a song about kids, problems with their parents, the generation gap called once you understand. And Howard Stern would play that song every year and say, this is the worst song I ever heard.

[Kate Hines]

Okay, Jerry, I'm going to jump in and just let Josh get to work.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, this is such a beautiful remembrance, and I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like Lou's memory is really with you in a way that's really beautiful, but also really painful. And it sounds like you're doing the right things. You know, you had to square away so much logistical stuff, which is just so awful when you're dealing with grief as well, to have to also talk to the bank on the phone, which even under the best circumstances, is dreadful. The worst. And it sounds like you've done such a lovely job keeping Lou's memory alive, both in your own heart and in speaking of him highly calling us. You know, I'm really grateful that you shared it, shared these memories and stories with us. So thank you so much for calling, and I hope that you continue to find ways to feel connected to your friend and his legacy artistically in ways that feel maybe he's still in your heart, but you. Hopefully, as time passes, you'll also be able to feel a little lightness knowing that you've shared his good work and you've shared his legacy.

[Kate Hines]

Someone texted. You can give Jerry my phone number. I'm happy to be his friend as well. I love music, which is such a lovely thing to say.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's really lovely.

[Kate Hines]

All right, we have some family pep talk dynamics. Let me get back to that text. I host my small family for Christmas, and the last four years, our celebrations have been disrupted by Covid, which stunk, but had the upside of allowing me to avoid my only sibling, who pushes all my buttons. Assuming that we're all together this year, I'd appreciate some strategies for keeping myself from spending the whole time being annoyed.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Okay. This is tough, and I think I don't. So. Okay, so here's the difference.

[Kate Hines]

Actually, you know what? Can I jump in? I would love to. Well, before we do that, I want to take a call because there's something slight that we've got a caller who's a little similar. Sally in Basking Ridge, New Jersey. Hi, Sally. Welcome to all of it.

[Linda]

Hi. How are you guys?

[Kate Hines]

Good. So you have a sibling Problem I need.

[Linda]

Yeah, I have a similar problem. I have. I haven't spoken to my sister, who were historically very close, but since the election, I was very upset after the election and we have different opinions on the election, so. And now the holiday's coming and I'd like to reconcile. And I sent a text to her saying that I miss her and I haven't heard back.

[Kate Hines]

Ooh.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Okay.

[Kate Hines]

I bet a lot of people are in your boat, Sally.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm sure of it.

[Linda]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And that's hard. It's hard to be in conflict with someone you love. It's hard to feel like your overtures are being unreciprocated. You know, I think both in both of these situations, in both your call and the text you received just prior, I try not to give too much advice. You know, I try to give more encouragement because frankly, I'm talking to you and not the person you're in conflict with. And so I understand their humanity. But I'm on your side. If they call next, I'm on their side. But what I will say also is that, like, you're doing your best and that means a lot. And if you're giving a good faith effort, there is pain or through not being able to talk with someone you love. But you can't keep banging your head against the wall if your good faith efforts are going unreciprocated. And to our previous texter. Right. All you can do is your best. And then sometimes you're gonna be annoyed. Right. Sometimes people aren't going to respond to your genuineness the way that you hope. And it will feel bad. And then either it will get better or you will learn to live with things being different. You know what I mean? So I think it is all you can do is your best. All you can do is be a kind and, you know, politically thoughtful person and personally thoughtful person. And if the people in your life don't respond accordingly, you can always ask for their side and hear them out. But, like, you can't make this horse drink no matter how close you are to the water, as they say.

[Kate Hines]

Yeah. And again, you know, it's barely been a month since the election. There's a lot of feelings and emotions and things. We just need a little time maybe for things to shake out. And I have to hope that a relationship that has lasted for decades can weather this.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. And I think on both sides, right. Like you can. You've tried to be understanding, but also it's okay to go well. Also, they have to understand me like you deserve as much understanding as you're trying to extend.

[Kate Hines]

We just have a couple minutes left, so I want. I think we can do a truncated pep talk that starts specific, but I feel will be universal to a lot of our listeners.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm ready.

[Kate Hines]

Someone texted. My boyfriend is down in Florida helping his mom move, coming back tomorrow, and he hates the cold weather. And of course it's going to get extra cold tomorrow. Can he get a pep talk?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's horrible. It feels so physically bad to be in the cold, but that's why we built the indoors. And this is a perfect time of year for hunkering down and staying inside and being warm and cozy with people that you love. I think a lot of people don't want to be out in the cold. And, you know, it's a good time to think about unhoused people throughout the city and what they're going through and how we can be helpful. Big picture as well as little picture. But the cold is bad. Get warm again. There is a reason that he will be here instead of in Florida, and it's nice to focus on the reasons that you're here and the ways to ameliorate the horrible winds between the skyscrapers.

[Kate Hines]

Can you give us a pep talk for going into 2025? Yeah, I don't know if I want to give 2025 a pep talk as a number or just give all of us who are about to enter 2025 a pep talk. So take it any way you want it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Things can always improve, and they can always improve by doing your best. Right? There are people that are out there trying to make the world a better place, whether that's, again, volunteering, mutual aid, even just reaching out to people in your life that you know are having a hard time. And you can always be a part of that. It's like, never too late to do something for someone else or to ask for help that you need. So, like, as bad as things may be at any given time, you can always be. You can always start being a part of the solution, and you can always look for someone to help you solve problems that are ailing you. And I think that's, like, even as bad as things get, that's a nice thing for me to remember is that you can start right this instant making things a little bit better through your own effort and listening and diligence.

[Kate Hines]

What's the best pep talk you ever received?

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, my gosh, that is such a good thing.

[Kate Hines]

And you have 10 seconds to tell it to me.

[Josh Gondelman]

My wife is so encouraging and she's just like the most wonderful, generous person and I'm just like so lucky to be the recipient of her love and encouragement, especially around the holidays.

[Kate Hines]

So you have a newsletter called that's Marvelous. How can people sign up for it?

[Josh Gondelman]

JoshGondelman.substack.com is the website or you can find me on social media. Oshgondelman and I'll make sure that you can find it via a link there.

[Kate Hines]

And Josh Gondelman also hosts a standup show called Frankenstein's Baby on the first and third Mondays of the month at Union Hall. Josh Gondelman, thank you so much for coming tonight.

[Josh Gondelman]

Thank you so much for having me. Kate, what a treat. So nice to see you and happy holidays, everyone.

[Kate Hines]

Thank you.

[Josh Gondelman]

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