Do You Ever Like to Dine Solo?

Summary

Podcast Summary: All Of It – "Do You Ever Like to Dine Solo?"

Episode Details:

• Title: Do You Ever Like to Dine Solo?
• Host: Alison Stewart
• Release Date: April 7, 2025
• Duration: Approximately 24 minutes

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Introduction to Solo Dining Trend

In this episode of ALL OF IT, host Alison Stewart delves into the rising trend of solo dining in America. Stemming from a recent article by Priya Krishna in the New York Times, the discussion explores why dining alone has become increasingly common yet remains socially stigmatized.

Quote:

"Solo dining is on the rise. That's according to new reporting from Priya Krishna in the New York Times." (00:37) – Alison Stewart

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Challenges of Solo Dining: Social and Economic Factors

Priya Krishna outlines the multifaceted challenges that solo diners face. Socially, diners often fear judgment and unwanted attention from staff and other patrons. Economically, restaurants grapple with the viability of seating single patrons, especially in high-end establishments where single tables represent lost revenue opportunities.

Quote:

"There is like the judgmental eye of other diners... economically it is very difficult for a restaurant to justify giving a table for two to one person." (01:43) – Priya Krishna

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Listeners' Experiences and Perspectives

The show invites listeners to share their personal experiences with solo dining. Multiple callers contribute diverse viewpoints, highlighting both the anxiety and liberation associated with eating alone.

• Griselda from Brooklyn shares her liberating experience of dining solo during Valentine's Day, emphasizing personal growth and reduced reliance on external validation. (06:04)

  "It's very liberating... I encourage anyone that's listening to try to eat alone at least once in their life." (06:24) – Griselda

• Nick from Red Hook discusses how solo dining serves as a form of self-discovery and personal dates, mentioning positive interactions that sometimes lead to spontaneous conversations. (07:07)

  "It's just another form of getting to know myself a bit more." (07:52) – Nick

• Marianne highlights the joy of choosing her own dining spots without compromise, using solo dining as a means to read, people-watch, and enjoy uninterrupted time. (10:41)

  "I love eating solo... It's great for people watching." (10:43) – Marianne

• Jerry from Jackson Heights recounts his experiences feeling less respected as a solo diner and how certain restaurants discriminate against single patrons to maintain a particular ambiance. (11:57)

  "They put me by the kitchen by myself... that's a huge difference than when I came in here with a group of people." (12:05) – Jerry

• Sheila from Hoboken reminisces about her positive solo dining experiences in Italy, highlighting cultural differences where solo diners received exceptional service without judgment. (14:45)

  "I got absolutely incredible special attention and service." (15:54) – Sheila

• Jack from Kearney, New Jersey praises restaurants that accommodate solo diners with dedicated seating, enhancing the comfort and convenience of dining alone. (20:06)

  "My favorite Mexican restaurant... they have two single tops just for walk-ins." (20:14) – Jack

• Carol from Brisbane, Australia shares a heartfelt story of connection and comfort found through a kind maitre d at a diner, underscoring the emotional value of solo dining. (22:38)

  "He would just come and talk to me and put his arm around me and comfort me." (22:38) – Carol

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Data and Statistics on Solo Dining

Priya Krishna presents compelling data illustrating the surge in solo dining:

• OpenTable Data: Solo dining reservations increased by 64% since 2019.
• Resy Data: Solo dining reservations rose from 21% in 2022 to 2023.

She emphasizes that actual solo dining rates are likely higher, considering walk-in diners are not always recorded in reservations.

Quote:

"Solo dining reservations have risen by 64% since 2019... solo dining reservations have risen from 21% from 2022 to 2023." (08:27) – Priya Krishna

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Correlation Between Single Demographics and Solo Dining

The episode explores the link between increasing singlehood and solo dining trends. With 46% of American adults being single as per 2022 census data, there's a significant correlation driving the rise in solo dining.

Quote:

"We are becoming more comfortable with solitary activities... people who are comfortable doing activities alone are confident." (09:18) – Priya Krishna

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Cultural Perspectives and Comparisons

Priya Krishna compares the American solo dining experience with that of other cultures, particularly Japan and Italy. While Japan has a normalized and welcoming approach to solo diners, the American context often stigmatizes it, though experiences vary globally.

Quote:

"People either love to solo dine or they hate to solo dine... dining alone is not the norm in America." (16:37) – Priya Krishna

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Impact of Gender, Age, and Race on Solo Dining

The discussion highlights how solo dining experiences can differ based on gender, age, and race. Women, in particular, often report feeling uncomfortable due to unsolicited attention, while older individuals may find meaningful connections through solo dining.

Quote:

"Gender, age, and race all play a role... women get unnecessary attention from men." (17:51) – Priya Krishna

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Conclusion and Insights

The episode concludes by reinforcing that solo dining is a growing and multifaceted trend influenced by societal changes. While challenges persist, particularly in high-end and socially-driven restaurants, many find solo dining to be a rewarding and empowering experience. Priya Krishna underscores the importance of recognizing and celebrating the confidence and independence that comes with dining alone.

Final Thoughts:

"Solo dining just generally has become such a divisive issue in this country... we live in a country where dining alone is not the norm." (13:41) – Priya Krishna

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Key Takeaways:

• Rising Trend: Solo dining has significantly increased in recent years, driven by changing social dynamics and demographics.
• Social Stigma: Despite its growth, solo dining often carries a stigma fueled by societal expectations and economic considerations within the restaurant industry.
• Diverse Experiences: Personal stories reveal a spectrum of experiences, from anxiety and judgment to liberation and self-discovery.
• Cultural Differences: Attitudes towards solo dining vary globally, with some cultures embracing it more readily than others.
• Demographic Influences: Gender, age, and race can profoundly affect solo dining experiences, highlighting the need for more inclusive practices.
• Economic Factors: Restaurants balance the profitability of seating single diners against creating welcoming environments for all patrons.

This episode of ALL OF IT provides a comprehensive exploration of solo dining, blending data, personal narratives, and cultural analysis to illuminate the complexities of this evolving social phenomenon.

Transcript

[Alison Stewart]

All of it is supported by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. Listener supported WNYC Studios.

[Priya Krishna]

This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. Solo dining is on the rise. That's according to new reporting from Priya Krishna in the New York Times. Many of us, in theory, enjoy a table for one at our favorite restaurant, but we may also fear the dreaded question from the host or waiter, something that Steve Martin's character in the 1984 movie The Lonely Guy faces.

[Alison Stewart]

Yes, all right. Do you have a table for dinner? How many in your I'm alone, alone.

[Priya Krishna]

Alone queue and awkward silence. The entire restaurant turns and stares at disbelief at Steve Martin. He's under a spotlight. He's daring to eat out alone. Eating out solo can cause a lot of anxiety about being judged. However, as you'll hear, Americans are spending more and more time at restaurants alone. Pri Krishna is a reporter and video host for the New York Times Food Section. Her article is called why Is Dining Alone so Difficult? Hi, Priya.

[Griselda]

Hi.

[Priya Krishna]

So why is dining alone so difficult?

[Griselda]

You know, what I found is that a lot of people really love the idea of dining alone in theory. But in practice, there are all these things that are making it really hard. One, there is like the judgmental eye of other diners. There are this servers who presume that you're waiting for another person, which automatically makes you feel like, oh, well, I should be here with someone else. And then there's the fact that economically it is very difficult for a restaurant to justify giving a table for two to one person. And so maybe squirreling away the parties of one at the bar, or if they don't have a bar, having to make that calculus. Do we seat this, this party of one? You know, one person brought up the really good point that servers are so reliant on tips and because tables for one obviously are going to have lower check costs, that they're they're just less attentive. So it's like a combination of social and economic factors.

[Priya Krishna]

Listeners, we want your calls. Are you someone who likes to eat solo at a table for one? Maybe you're scared to dine solo out of fear of being judged. Why do you think there's a stigma around dialing solo 212-433-WNYC 212-43396. Or if you do like eating out alone, what is your favorite place to grab a table? Shout it out. Now, what do you enjoy about the experience of eating alone? 2124-3396-9221-2433. WNYC. You can call in, join us on air, or you can text to us at that number. 212-433-9692. Now, you write in your piece that you're one of those people who has sort of anxiety about eating alone. You're someone who works in the food industry. What gives you so much hesitation about eating alone?

[Griselda]

Yeah, I mean, as a restaurant critic, I'm constantly asked, are you eating alone? And for me, dining with someone or a group of people is like one of the pleasures of being alone. And I have this fear that like dining alone would force me to just like contend with my own thoughts that, you know, I would over order and you know, I can't finish all of the food, that I would just get bored with myself as my only company that people around me would be like, why is she eating alone? Doesn't she have any friends? I feel like there's just like a million things running through my mind. I need to get better at it.

[Priya Krishna]

I love eating alone. I have to tell you, I'm such a big fan of it.

[Griselda]

I'm so, I'm thrilled for you. I'm so jealous and thrilled for all the people who love dining alone because I really, I want to get better at it. I want to be a better solo diner.

[Priya Krishna]

You did talk about the economics of it, though. What did restaurant owners tell you about their reason for limiting tables?

[Griselda]

For one, it's, it's just purely a financial choice. You know, running a restaurant is more expensive than ever. The operating costs are super high. If they give a table for two to one person, then the restaurant is losing money because they could have made money on that seat. And that's especially true for fine dining restaurants where it's a prefix. Say it's a 250 per person dinner. If you know there's an open seat, then they're losing out on that $250. So you know, another restaurateur who Simon Kim, who owns Cote, told me interestingly that some restaurants are just not meant to, to accommodate parties of one, that his restaurants are about social dining. You know, there's, the menus are all meant for sharing. And so it doesn't quite work for a solo diner to be eating a fried chicken. Feast by themselves. Although I feel like that sounds like it might be great for some people.

[Priya Krishna]

Is that what you mean when a restaurant itself can kind of be exclusionary in terms of their menu?

[Griselda]

I think so, yeah. I think there are, like, a couple of trends, particularly this idea of shared small plates or this idea of, like a, you know, $60 per person feast for the table. That kind of assumes. Assume dining to be a social activity and don't, don't assume that solo diners are going to be coming in.

[Priya Krishna]

Let's take a couple of calls. We've got Griselda calling in from Brooklyn. Hi, Griselda. Thank you so much for calling all of it. You're on the air.

[Alison Stewart]

Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for this segment. It's really, it's important, it's humorous. But I'm really happy to hear this information. I'm one of the brave souls that solo dines occasionally and one of the braver souls that actually dined alone during a Valentine's Day. So y'all can imagine how potentially awkward that was. And yes, the servers initially kept asking if I was waiting for anyone, and I just had to repeat myself. No, but it was very liberating. I think those experiences help us to become less dependent on, like, outside sources for validation of how great of people we are individually. But they're also great social experiments because I got a lot of stares. But I am so happy that I did it. And I encourage anyone that's listening to try to eat alone at least once in their life.

[Priya Krishna]

Thank you so much for calling Griselda. Let's talk to Nick from Red Hook. Hey, Nick, thanks for calling in.

[Alison Stewart]

Yeah, thanks for having me.

[Priya Krishna]

So you like eating alone?

[Alison Stewart]

I do. I actually do it quite often, so the initial awkwardness has since faded. But I kind of look at it as a way of getting to know myself. And I kind of take myself out on dates and I'll go to places that I, whether that's with someone or not or more regularly. I'll go to, like, a local restaurant in my neighborhood. And you're still surrounded by other people. And there's been so many times where I'll meet new people and then end up sharing a meal with someone else out of curiosity or happenstance. But, yeah, it's just another form of getting to know myself a bit more, Nick.

[Priya Krishna]

Wow.

[Griselda]

I love that.

[Alison Stewart]

Yeah.

[Priya Krishna]

Thanks for calling in. My guest is Priya Krishna. We're speaking about her recent article for the New York Times. Why is dining alone so difficult? We are taking your calls Are you someone who likes to eat out alone, or do you not really care for it a whole lot? Or maybe you do and you want to shout at a place that you like, like 2124-3396-9221-2433 wnyc. You include data from OpenTable and Resy in regards to solo dining trends. What did you learn? What do the numbers say?

[Griselda]

So the numbers are pretty, pretty surprising. Open table data said that solo dining reservations have risen by 64% since 2019. And the RESI data said that solo dining reservations have risen from 21% from 2022 to 2023. But I think what's important to note here is that that's just reservations for solo diners. So the increase in dining alone is probably way higher given that a lot of solo diners are just walking in.

[Priya Krishna]

There's been a lot of reporting on how Americans are spending more time alone. And you cite one statistic. According to a 2022 census data, 4.2, 46% of Americans are single. American adults are single. How much correlation do you think there is between that and solo dining?

[Griselda]

I think that there is a high correlation. One of the people I spoke to, Bella De Paolo, who's a social psychologist, talked about how we are doing more things alone, whether it is simply being single or being in a couple, but sleeping separately or even living separately, that, like, we are becoming more comfortable with solitary activities and that there is sort of this, this broad social sense that being alone is bad, that being alone is pitiable. But she sort of flipped the script. She was like, people who are comfortable doing activities alone are confident. Why? Why shouldn't we be admiring that?

[Priya Krishna]

We're talking about, why is dining alone so difficult? Or maybe you don't think so. Our guest is Priya Krishna from the New York Times. We'll have more after a quick break. This is all of it. You're listening to all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. My guest is Priya Krishna, reporter and video host for the New York Times Food section and NYT Cooking. We're speaking about her recent article, why Is Dining Alone so Difficult? And we are taking your calls. Let's talk to Marianne. Hi, Marianne. Thanks for calling all of It.

[Alison Stewart]

Hi, how are you?

[Priya Krishna]

I'm doing okay.

[Alison Stewart]

Good to hear you. Good. I think dining alone is fantastic. I really enjoy it. You can just choose where you want to go. You don't like compromise with other people. You can bring. I usually bring a notebook and a book. I don't spend a lot of time reading, but I. I like to do that. It's great people watching. It's also great eavesdropping. And Italy is great for dining alone. They're very nice. They don't have a problem with, you know, just being one person. And the food's really good. And it's a great place to also people watch because there's so much going on there. There's the market part and all the restaurants. So I think it's great. I will say the correlation of being single and that maybe that's it. I'm single, and so I'm alone.

[Priya Krishna]

Thanks for calling in. This says I feel I get less respect from servers as a solo woman. I think men get more respect, but maybe things have changed in the last few years. Let's talk to Jerry from Jackson Heights. Hi, Jerry. Thank you so much for calling all of it.

[Alison Stewart]

Hey, there. I hate to disagree with the New York Times, my favorite paper, but I've been.

[Priya Krishna]

Hey, Jerry, I want to hear you finish that sentence. Are you there? Are you dropped? Oh, well, Jerry was saying his place was a place where people could come and they could feel respected. But I do want to talk to you about that, Priya, because restaurants can either make you feel welcome or they can make you feel less than welcome. I went to one of my favorite restaurants, which shall remain. I won't say it. And a large group of people. We used to go have a great time. And I went solo once, and they put me by the kitchen by myself, and I thought, that's a huge difference than when I came in here with a group of people.

[Griselda]

Yeah, I think that that is a real issue that a lot of solo diners describe to me. I think sometimes I don't even think it's intentional on the restaurant's part. They're just trying to make their space look appealing, especially for people who are walking in off the street. One bartender I spoke to told me he used to work at, I think it was a Thai restaurant where they knew that they were about to be reviewed by, like, a major paper. And so they just didn't accept solo diners because they didn't want a potential critic to walk in and see a table with just one person. They thought that would look bad.

[Priya Krishna]

As you're reporting this piece, you asked readers to share their thoughts, and you heard from 2000 readers in the first 24 hours. Why has this topic elicited such a response?

[Griselda]

I think that one, people either love to solo dine or they hate to solo dine. And I feel like there's very little in between. And second, I think that solo dining just generally has become such a, such a divisive issue in the United States, in this country that really seems to value group activities or assume that socializing can never happen as one person. And I think it is linked totally to the rise in single people as well. But like, I just think we, we, we live in a country where dining alone is not, is not the norm. And I think people have a lot of feelings about that.

[Priya Krishna]

Let's talk to Sheila from Hoboken, I believe. Hi, Sheila, thanks for calling all of it.

[Alison Stewart]

Hi, Alison. So, yeah, I'm not a particularly self conscious, self confident or unselfconscious person, but I love eating solo ever since I was a kid. Maybe because people watching and eavesdropping are two of my favorite things to do. But I had over the top great experiences in Italy in the 90s where I traveled solo a lot. And I got absolutely incredible special attention. They. And service. They all felt sorry for me. What was a woman doing eating by herself? That didn't happen in Italy. Nobody ate by themselves. They were always gangs of people. But I got the best service and attention. That, yeah, that's what was my favorite thing about eating alone at that time.

[Priya Krishna]

Thanks, Sheila. I want to ask you, Priya, is this like an American problem?

[Griselda]

This is a question that I asked a lot of people and some people said yes. They were like, look at a country like Japan where it's totally normal to see someone sitting at an omakase restaurant or a ramen bar and eating alone. But some people just like the person who just called in said that there's a stigma against being alone no matter where you are in the world. So the jury's kind of still out on that one. But I do think that there is something very American about assuming that dining out has to be a social activity.

[Priya Krishna]

Yeah. To your point, we got a text from Joan in Brooklyn. I've always found Japanese restaurants to be more comfortable for women dining alone. Not sure why I always found them welcoming. Another text says, I eat alone all the time. The Smith at Lincoln center and the Hudson Garden Grill at New York Botanical Garden are fantastic places. I eat alone all the time. I'm always made to feel welcome and given great service. I always tip well, knowing it's a bit of a sacrifice for the servers. That's an interesting point.

[Griselda]

That's. I mean, and I think a lot of, a lot of solo diners, I, when I talked to service workers, they noted that solo diners are more aware diners, they are more engaged, they are more, they're more likely to tip well because they're sort of entrenched in the restaurant's rhythm. So I think that's really interesting. I also think another interesting thing that is coming up in these calls is the gender part of it all. I heard from so many women who said, as a woman, it's very uncomfortable to dine alone because you get unnecessary attention from men. You know, you have servers asking if there's a date coming. So I can't help but think that gender, age and race all play a role.

[Priya Krishna]

Let's talk to Christine, who is calling in from Cornwell, N.Y. used to be, used to be a server, right, Christine?

[Alison Stewart]

Yeah, that's right. I was, I used to be at a fairly high end steakhouse in the city. And my experience, I'm also, I've been in a domestic partner relationship for 10 years. So I kind of lean on that single side. And I was single well into my 40s. So. With that said, I used to always think about restaurant week. You know, you get a lot of solo diners during restaurant week, especially at the lunchtime hour. And also I always solo dine. And why Notice the first thing that I would do when I walk into a restaurant is to cut that mystery right out of the gate. As soon as I walk in, I just look at them, I'm like, table for one. And a lot of times I'll sit at the bar or I'll sit in the bar area, but if they don't have a bar, they, I have never experienced any weird feeling. They will sit me at a four top. Usually I or two tops. They have it. I'm pretty quick. And with everything that everybody else has said is also true. I also tip a little bit more. And when I say a little bit more, I tip like if I'm solo, I'll probably add an additional five bucks onto my tip. And I already tip 20, maybe 50% when I'm by myself. And that's not a lie. I really do. If my meal is under 20 bucks or $20 are anywhere between 20 and 21, we even for a couple or myself, I always tip $10. That's just me. And my other favorite thing to do is everybody has mentioned this Asian restaurant. I love ramen. And that's their culture. Their culture to get ramen is you sit there, you don't talk, you eat and you leave. So that's one of the best places to go if anybody is nervous about solo. And you bring a book, they respect it. That's what I have to say. I said, don't be scared. And oh, my gosh, if you bring a book, sometimes somebody will look over, they'll go, I was just reading that book.

[Priya Krishna]

So there's so many ways. There are so many different ways. Thank you so much. Your. Your call. I love that you eat, you get out. Let's talk to Jack from Kearney, New Jersey. Hi, Jack. Thanks for calling, all of it.

[Alison Stewart]

Yeah, thank you, Alison. Great show. Listen, my favorite Mexican restaurant, Meat Poplitos, they have two single tops just for walk ins, people that want to sit down. And people don't know, like, my wife doesn't like Mexican food. So I just walk up, go to meet Pablitos, have it. I don't take up a lot of room. I have. I take the single top that he has. Even lets me read the newspaper there.

[Priya Krishna]

All right, that sounds like my kind of place. My guest is Priya Krishna, reporter and video host for the New York Times food section. We're speaking about her recent article, why is Dining alone so Difficult? One interesting fact from your piece, Priya, is that diners feel less pressure about dining solo at casual chain restaurants. So what do we mean when we're saying casual chain restaurants?

[Griselda]

We're talking Olive Gardens or Applebee's. There's actually an entire genre of TikTok videos of people eating alone at Olive Garden. I think there's just something about a restaurant that is, you know, predictable. There are locations all across the country where they know exactly what they're getting themselves into, where the price point is such that you, as a diner, know that, you know, you feel less guilty that you're taking up space. And these, these restaurants are just designed to cater to solo diners. At Applebee's, for example, the restaurants are literally designed with the bar at the center to make solo diners feel comfortable because they know this is a huge chunk of their customers.

[Priya Krishna]

Oh, that's so interesting. With the bar at the center, that makes a lot of sense. This one says, I hate dining alone, but it's mostly my life. I have often wondered why there couldn't be a section where solo diners could share a table. Think of the adventure of randomly meeting some new people who are open to conversation. Have you seen that?

[Griselda]

I have heard about this. And I gotta say, I got. I got mixed stories. I had stories where someone solo dined with someone else and it was a lovely experience and they made a new friend. But then also experiences where someone solo dined with someone else. And it was horribly awkward. One of my friends, she was in Brazil and she was paired with a solo diner at her table who did not speak any English. And she said they just spoke their language to each other and neither of them understood what they were saying, but they still felt like they connected.

[Priya Krishna]

Let's talk to Carol. She's calling in from Brisbane, Australia. Carol, you've got about a minute?

[Alison Stewart]

Okay. In September 2023, I was staying at the New York Athletic Club. My beloved husband Ian had died and I was on my own, visiting friends and visiting people in places that we knew and loved all around the world. And at the Carnegie Diner, the wonderful maitre d Athanasis was just wonderful to me. I'd come just occasionally and have an early dinner with soup, and I'd be sitting outside if it was nice. And he would just come and talk to me and put his arm around me and comfort me and just be so wonderful. And I had 30 years of living in New York. My late husband Ian had 40 years of living in New York. Now I'm 80 and I'm on my own. And it is still one of my happiest memories. And I have the most beautiful photograph that I'm looking at of me I the Carnegie Diner.

[Priya Krishna]

We're so. Thank you so much for calling in and sharing your story. We really appreciate it. Priya Krishna, she's been my guest. Hey, Priya, thanks for joining us.

[Griselda]

Thank you so much for having me. This is such a fun topic to discuss.

[Alison Stewart]

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[Griselda]

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[Alison Stewart]

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[Priya Krishna]

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[Griselda]

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[Priya Krishna]

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[Alison Stewart]

Since WNYC's first broadcast in 1924, we've been dedicated to creating the kind of content we know the world needs. Since then, New York Public Radio's rigorous journalism has gone on to win a Peabody Award and a Dupont Columbia Award, among others. In addition to this award winning reporting, your sponsorship also supports inspiring storytelling and extraordinary music that is free and accessible to all. To get in touch and find out more, visit sponsorship.wnyc.org.