Dylan Mulveney's Memoir

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: All Of It

Host: Alison Stewart (WNYC)
Episode: Dylan Mulvaney’s Memoir
Date: December 29, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of All Of It features an in-depth interview with Dylan Mulvaney—actress, trans advocate, and internet personality. The main focus is Dylan’s newly released memoir, Paper Doll: Notes from a Late Bloomer. Alison Stewart and Dylan explore the impact of Dylan’s “Days of Girlhood” series, discuss her journey through gender transition amidst viral fame, the personal and public challenges she faced, her relationship with her family, and the broader context of her coming out story during a time of political tension for trans rights. The episode weaves together themes of vulnerability, humor, evolution, and joy in the face of adversity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Listener-Driven Book Roundup

• [00:17] Alison Stewart introduces the show’s format: Instead of the staff’s favorite cultural highlights, they’re spotlighting books that listeners (Instagram followers) were most passionate about in 2025.
• Dylan Mulvaney is the featured opening guest, followed by other authors later in the hour.

Dylan Mulvaney’s Internet Presence & Early Viral Success

• [02:02] Alison recaps Dylan’s online rise: “Beginning in 2022, Dylan began posting publicly about her gender transition... The videos are funny and vulnerable.”

  • Plays clip from early “Days of Girlhood” (Day 4) [02:02]:
    • Dylan: “The hair, the makeup, the clothes, the high heels, it’s a lot to keep up with. And I need to learn early on that those things do not make me a girl. It’s what’s in here that matters.”

• [02:39-03:37] Alison reviews the Bud Light incident, viral backlash, and how “Beer Gate” took a personal toll, but Dylan returns stronger, with 9 million TikTok followers, a new Off Broadway show, and the memoir.

The Pandemic as Catalyst for Self-Discovery

• [03:37] Dylan on the pandemic’s profound personal effect:
  • “I think of it as the most important moment of my life... I really got to ask myself... who am I without these external characters?”
• She explains the privacy the pandemic afforded was key to experimenting with her gender presentation and thinking about identity.

Childhood, Family, and Reclaiming Identity

• [04:31] Alison asks what Dylan learned about herself:
  • Dylan: “I was reminded of what was always there—which was the fact that I am a woman. I came out to my mom as a girl when I was four years old. I had to tuck that away for many years.”
  • Dylan doesn’t resent her conservative Catholic upbringing, expressing gratitude for her journey: “Once I started going down that path... it was the path that I needed to take. It’s the happiest path for me, and it’s one that I’m so grateful that I went down.”

Writing the Memoir: Innocence and Evolution

• [05:47] Dylan reflects on writing the book in her mid-20s and revisiting those feelings at 28:
  • “A major theme of the book is earnestness and innocence in adults... What serves the greater story is we are constantly evolving—there is no finish line. Isn’t that a beautiful thing?”
• [06:36] Asked what she’d tell her younger self, Dylan emphasizes protecting oneself:
  • “Know who to listen to and when. Don’t read the comments... The parts of you that people are criticizing... are the best parts of yourself. That’s your hyper femininity, your innocence, your camp, your quirks, and my softness.”
  • [Notable Quote, 06:36]
    • “What feels like in 2025 is a world that kind of thrives off pessimism, but I think I would say [to my younger self], protect your softness.”

Revisiting “Day One of Being a Girl” & The Role of Humor

• [07:53] Plays first video from “Days of Girlhood”:
  • Dylan: “Day one of being a girl and I have already cried three times... I ordered dresses online I couldn’t afford... How’d I do, ladies? Good girl power.”
• [08:21] Dylan explains she had done significant private work before making that public video, and chose to embrace humor:
  • “I wanted to find the funny in coming out because usually they’re very intense sort of... you know, crying videos. And yet I was like, I wonder if I can make people laugh, because this is something that some people find uncomfortable.”
• [10:21]
  • “What I ultimately am looking for still is a connection to other women.”

Viral Fame, Community, and the Weight of Representation

• [10:36-11:50] Dylan discusses the rapid growth of her audience:
  • “I had a million followers in less than a month from posting that first video.”
  • The following felt intimate, “like 10 million best friends in my bedroom.” Dylan used her account almost as a diary: “They were my cheerleaders.”
• [11:52] Alison notes Dylan’s early tendency to apologize for mistakes.
  • Dylan explains this hyper-apologetic habit stemmed from nervousness and from not yet understanding the full landscape of trans discourse:
    • “As a comedian, you usually take the luxury of not having to explain every joke. But as a trans person, you don’t always have that luxury.”
  • “What I didn’t know about at the time was TERFs... I wasn’t well versed enough in trans terminology to even know that was going to be a part of the reaction.”

Family Relationships: Grief, Acceptance, and Representation

• [13:13] Dylan describes including her mother in the memoir:
  • “She had to grieve her son and she gained a daughter.”
  • She intentionally presented their dynamic authentically—ups and downs, long journey to acceptance—believing that real stories help others:
    • “It’s more productive for me to share our ups and downs... versus just putting a bow on the family situation.”
  • “This version of life, which is the real version... is ultimately going to hopefully help a lot of other families or folks that don’t know how to accept their trans kids or their co-workers.” [13:17]

Fame, Safety, and Community in 2025

• [14:23] Dylan on her shifting view of fame:

  • “I don’t think of myself as famous still... I will always be grateful because I think right now, as a trans person, we need to take all the allyship we can get... But I don’t feel safe to put out what I did online anymore in the way that I was.”

• [15:20] Memoir’s Release Amidst a Hostile Administration

  • “I didn’t know what administration would be here when I selected this date. ...as frustrating as it is... this book is a piece of trans joy during a time when it feels hard to find it.”
  • “If I’m finding joy, if I’m finding love... if I can put a book out right now, that means that what they’re saying about me isn’t true.” [16:21]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [02:02] Dylan: “Even with your facial hair, you’re a girl. And even though I’m having it removed, women can have facial hair and women can have body hair. And that’s a beautiful thing.”
• [04:35] Dylan: “I was reminded of what was always there — which was the fact that I am a woman. I came out to my mom as a girl when I was four years old.”
• [06:36] Dylan: “What feels like in 2025 is a world that kind of thrives off pessimism, but I think I would say [to my younger self], protect your softness.”
• [10:21] Dylan: “What I ultimately am looking for still is a connection to other women.”
• [13:17] Dylan: “She had to grieve her son and she gained a daughter... I think this version of life, which is the real version... is ultimately going to hopefully help a lot of other families or folks that don’t know how to accept their trans kids or their co-workers.”
• [15:28] Dylan: “This book is a piece of trans joy during a time when it feels hard to find it.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:02]: Clip from early “Days of Girlhood” video ("Day 4 of being a girl")
• [03:37]: How the pandemic enabled Dylan’s self-discovery
• [06:36]: Advice to younger self
• [07:53]: Playback and discussion of “Day One of Being a Girl” video
• [10:36]: Reflections on Internet fame and TikTok’s impact
• [13:13]: Discussion of her relationship with her mother
• [14:23]: Shifting attitudes towards fame and safety as a trans person
• [15:20]: Reflections on releasing the memoir during a hostile administration

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Summary Tone & Intent

The conversation is earnest, transparent, and often humorous. Dylan’s vulnerability is matched by her incisive wit and reflections on both the joys and pains of coming out and being a public trans figure. Alison Stewart maintains a warm and supportive presence, guiding the interview with empathy and curiosity, and giving Dylan the space to elaborate on everything from the deepest family conversations to the bittersweetness of achieving and managing online stardom amid a polarized America.

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This episode offers listeners an intimate glimpse into Dylan Mulvaney’s world—a nuanced journey through transition, family, joy, humor, public scrutiny, and hope for the future. For those seeking to understand the lived reality of a prominent trans woman in 2025, and anyone interested in memoir, creative expression, or the evolution of digital community, this is essential listening.

Transcript

[Alison Stewart]

You're listening to all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. I hope everyone who celebrated had a lovely holiday yesterday. As we start to close out the year, we here at all of it wanted to try something a little different. Usually we spend the next few days presenting a roundup of what our staff thinks were the best cultural moments of the year, from TV to art to theater. But this year, we wanted to let the listeners decide more specifically, our Instagram followers. So we are spending today's show talking about the books that our Instagram followers were the most excited about this year. Later this hour, you'll hear from Ocean Vuong. His heartfelt new novel, the Emperor of Gladness was named one of the best books of the year by Time, NPR and Kirkus Reviews. Plus, actor Jeff Hiller discusses his new memoir, Actress of a certain age, my 20 year trail to overnight success. Jeff also took home an Emmy this year for his work on Somebody Somewhere. That's all coming up. So let's get this hour started with another memoir from Dylan Mulvaney. If you are a person on the Internet, you've likely stumbled across a video of my next guest. Beginning in 2022, Dylan Mulvaney began posting publicly about her gender transition. She called her series Days of Girlhood and now has spent several years documenting her experience of trans womanhood. The videos are funny and vulnerable. Here's an early example. This is day four of being a.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Girl, day four of being a girl. And I am exhausted. The hair, the makeup, the clothes, the high heels, it's a lot to keep up with. And I need to learn early on that those things do not make me a girl. It's what's in here that matters. And I actually didn't shave my face today because I was like, dill, even with your facial hair, you're a girl. And even though I'm having it removed, women can have facial hair and women can have body hair. And that's a beautiful thing. And that that you are still a girl. Dylan. Okay, I don't need all those things. I love you.

[Alison Stewart]

Dylan's videos earned millions of followers. A lot of people were supportive, but some of the response was hateful. Then two years ago, Bud Light ran an advertisement during March Madness featuring Dylan. The ad sparked a massive backlash among people who objected to seeing a trans person working with their favorite beer. There was a boycott. Musician Kid Rock posted a video of himself shooting a case of Bud Light. Dylan took some time out of the public eye, but she's back now. She has 9 million TikTok followers. She's working on a new Off Broadway show titled the Least Problematic Woman in the World. And she has a memoir. It's titled Paper Doll Notes from a Late Bloomer. I began my conversation with Dylan by asking her about the COVID 19 pandemic and how the downtime at home played a role in her journey of self discovery.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Yeah, I think, you know, talking about the pandemic after the fact is sometimes people think it's cringe, but I think of it as the most important moment of my life because I had spent my life playing roles on stage in musicals. And it was the first time that I really got to ask myself since I was a small child, who am I without, you know, these external characters? And I think what it did was it gave me time to not only explore, you know, who it is that I am, but it also gave me privacy to, you know, try to start getting rid of my facial hair and change my pronouns and have hard conversations. And I think for a lot of people, it gave them a chance to hit the refresh button in a beautiful way and do work on themselves that, you know, we might have not done had that not gone down.

[Interviewer/Host]

What did you learn about yourself during that time?

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Well, I think I was reminded of what was always there, which was the fact that I am a woman. I came out to my mom as a girl when I was four years old. I had to tuck that away for many years. And that was something that I think, given that I grew up in a very conservative Catholic family, there weren't a whole lot of options. And I don't resent my family nor, you know, the way that things worked out, because I think everything does happen for a reason. But it was the time when I needed to come back to that. And when I picked up my favorite parts of myself because I had stripped them away for society and to be seen as normal, you know, quote, unquote. And I think I finally was able to see life in color. And once I started going down that path, which was ultimately how I got here now, three years of transitioning, it was the path that I needed to take. It's the happiest path for me, and it's one that I'm so grateful that I went down.

[Interviewer/Host]

It's so hard when you write a book because you write it and you send it to the publisher and then it comes time to publicize it, and.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

It'S like a while later, okay, you're the first person to ask me about this. And I could not Agree more. Because I wrote this, I'm 28 years old now. I started writing it when I was 25 and part of me is like, oh. But I think that a major theme of the book is earnestness and innocence in adults. And I think that was really apparent in my early years of transition and especially the first year in those initial videos. And so I think there's something really sweet about hearing my voice three years ago and how I was feeling. And sure, I feel a little different about certain things, but I think that it serves the greater story, which is we are constantly evolving. There is no finish line. We can constantly surprise ourselves. Isn't that a beautiful thing?

[Interviewer/Host]

What would 28 year old Dylan tell? 25 year old Dylan?

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Oh, honey, I would say to make sure to protect yourself and know who to listen to and when. I would tell her to not listen and read the comments because that's where a lot goes awry. But I would think I would honestly tell her what I would tell my 4 year old self, which is the parts of you that people are criticizing and trying to villainize you for are the best parts of yourself. And that's your hyper femininity, that's your innocence, that is your camp, that is your quirks. And I think. And my softness. I think a lot of people take my, my kind of ease and softness and excitement towards life as infantilizing myself when really I find it to just be constantly being fascinated by the world in a world that kind of thrives off pessimism. What feels like in 2025. But I think I would say that to her.

[Interviewer/Host]

My guest, Dylan Mulvaney, Internet personality, trans advocate, actor, author. We're discussing her new memoir, Paper Doll Notes from a Late Bloomer. Is it okay if we play that first video from Days of Girlhood?

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Oh, I guess. Okay. Day one of being a girl and I have already cried three times. I wrote a scathing email that I did not send. I ordered dresses online that I couldn't afford. And then when someone asked me how I was, I said, I'm fine. When I wasn't fine. How'd I do, ladies? Good girl power.

[Interviewer/Host]

What went through your mind when you first hear that?

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Well, I thought, I hope whoever's listening to this doesn't turn it off. Right. Because I want to be able to explain a few things.

[Interviewer/Host]

Yeah.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

And that was the first day I came out publicly on TikTok and I was doing stand up comedy in Los Angeles and I had been on hormones for a number of months. I've already had the difficult conversations with my family. So I just want to make sure for any listeners out there that they didn't assume that I woke up that day and thought, oh, this would be fun. What a video concept. No, I really had put so much time into my transition personally. And also I had been living my life as non binary for a year and a half prior to that. And so I ultimately knew that I think of my time as a non binary human being to be kind of in Mario Kart, where you're hopping from a cloud to another platform. That was sort of my little cloud for a second. But ultimately womanhood is where I was supposed to go. And that video, I just think I had come out before, you know, as a 14 year old, as gay, 24 is non binary. I was like, okay, I want to find the funny in coming out because usually they're very intense sort of, you know, crying videos or, you know, and it is an emotional thing. It's a very serious thing to come out as a new identity. And yet I was like, I wonder if I can make people laugh, because this is something that some people find uncomfortable. And I really was thinking about, like, my friends and family that already knew me, not the people on the Internet that would see it. And they did. And I think that I then had to do some clearing up after that video because there was a lot of people who supported me on day one and shout out to the OGs. But I think there was a lot of other people, including trans folks, who didn't know what my intentions were in that video.

[Alison Stewart]

Some parts of that video are funny, though.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Thank you. Okay, that is supposed to be a little bit funny, right? Yes, there was humor and there was.

[Alison Stewart]

There is.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

There's poking fun and there is still a sense of earnestness, which is, how'd I do? Because I think that is what I ultimately am looking for still is a connection to other women.

[Alison Stewart]

Your Internet fame grew so quickly.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Crazy, like, kind of well over, it feels overnight. Because TikTok, I think, set this new precedent for people to go viral that didn't really have access to before. You know, we had YouTubers, we've had Instagram. But a lot of the times, even on Instagram, you were following people that you already knew or major, major celebrities. On TikTok, it's pushing out videos of normal human beings living their lives. And. And that's what I think happened with me. I had a million followers in less than a month from posting that first video.

[Alison Stewart]

What did you think to do with.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

All of these followers Oh, I had. I don't think I actually knew what having a platform was until after what I like to call beer gate. But in my mind, I had, you know, 10 million best friends in my bedroom with me. And it was like I always approached everything like a FaceTime call. And so I would tell them about my day, I would tell them about the new things I was trying or what was going on in my transition. And I think that it felt like they became my support system. They were my cheerleaders.

[Interviewer/Host]

Yeah.

[Alison Stewart]

One of the things you did early.

[Interviewer/Host]

On, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that you apologized every time you made a mistake.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Yep.

[Alison Stewart]

Plenty of mistakes. Just like a.

[Interviewer/Host]

A goof. Something you just goofed up. Why did you apologize?

[Dylan Mulvaney]

I'm thinking back to. Even on that second day, I actually made an apology that was like, oh, I'm so sorry if I offended any, you know, women out there. This was meant, you know, this, you know, kind of over explaining the situation. Which I think as a comedian, you know, you usually take the luxury of not having to explain every joke. But I think as a trans person, you don't always have that luxury. You know, there needs to be a very clear boundary set. And what I didn't know about at the time was TERFs, which were trans exclusionary radical feminists who had infiltrated my comments. And yet. So I wasn't well versed enough in trans terminology to even know that that was going to be a part of the reaction. And so I really was speaking to women who weren't gonna have my back, nor currently have my back. But I didn't know that then.

[Interviewer/Host]

My guest is Dilla Mulvaney. She's trans advocate, actor, author, and we're discussing her new memoir, Paper Doll Notes from a Late Bloomer. Throughout the book, you chronicle your relationship with your mom. Yes.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Hi, mom. Hi, Mom.

[Interviewer/Host]

Your mom had some mixed feelings.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Yeah. I think that I like to. I write it in the book as she had to grieve her son and she gained a daughter. And what I thought was really beautiful was when I shared the pages that she was included in and the stories that she was in, which I've kept my family very private off the Internet. And this book felt like the right place to talk about them. And I feel really lucky that when we were having the conversations about what I was putting in the book, that I made it clear to her that it was more productive for me to share our. Our ups and downs and the sort of long journey which ultimately led to acceptance and love versus Just putting a bow on the family situation because I think this version of life, which is the real version and the authentic version of what happened, is ultimately going to hopefully help a lot of other families or folks that don't know how to accept their trans kids or their co workers.

[Alison Stewart]

You know, given all that you've been.

[Interviewer/Host]

Through, how has your relationship to fame changed?

[Dylan Mulvaney]

I don't think of myself as famous still. Like we just went, I have my first billboard in Times Square today and I was walking by and, you know, a few people asked for photos and I still am like, oh, do we. Like, I thought maybe is it a cousin? Or like, I am like, oh, how do I know this person? And then it does hit me. I'm like, oh, they've been watching me online. Or maybe they've enjoyed something I put out there.

[Alison Stewart]

And.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

And I think I will always, always be grateful because I think right now, as a trans person, we need to take all the allyship that we can get in whatever form that comes in. I also, I get a lot of hope because a lot of my followers are Gen Z, you know, their early twenties, late teens, and it gives me hope that we are going to eventually move in the right direction. But I think that I don't feel safe to put out what I did online anymore in the way that I was.

[Interviewer/Host]

This book is coming out during an administration that has been openly anti trans.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Yes.

[Interviewer/Host]

First of all, what has that been like?

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Well, I didn't know I wrote the book. It's been over three years. Yeah, I've been writing it for three years and I had to hit a pause. I think we finally hit the pause button in like April or May, and I of last year. And so I didn't know what administration would be here when I selected this date. And I think that as frustrating as it is that this is what we're working with. I think that this book is a piece of trans joy during a time when it feels hard to find it. And I think we as trans people need to be finding as much joy because it is a direct kind of fight back at what they're saying. Because if I'm finding joy, if I'm finding love success, if I can put a book out right now, that means that what they're saying about me isn't true.

[Alison Stewart]

That was my conversation with trans activist and influencer Dylan Mulvaney about her new memoir, Paper Doll Notes from a Late Bloomer. Up next, another memoir, this one from Emmy winning actor Jeff Hiller. His new book is titled Actress of a certain age. My 20 year trail to overnight success. This is all of it.

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