All Of It: Grandparents Are Taking on More Childcare Than Ever. How Do They Feel About That?

Hosted by Alison Stewart, WNYC’s “All Of It” delves into the evolving role of grandparents in modern American families. In this episode, released on May 30, 2025, host David Fuerst engages with Atlantic reporter Faith Hill and New York Times Magazine writer Frances Dodds to explore the increasing trend of grandparents assuming significant childcare responsibilities. Through personal stories, expert insights, and listener contributions, the episode paints a comprehensive picture of the joys and challenges faced by today’s grandparents.

1. The Rise of Grandparents as Caregivers

Faith Hill begins by outlining the societal shifts contributing to more grandparents taking on caregiving roles:

"There has been, it seems, an increase in kind of the care that most grandparents are doing or many grandparents are doing."
(03:19)

Several factors are driving this trend:

• Increased Life Expectancy: More healthy years allow grandparents to be active caregivers.
• Single Parenting and Dual-Income Families: With more single parents and working mothers, the demand for childcare support has surged.
• Rising Childcare Costs: The high expense of formal childcare makes relying on grandparents a more economical choice.
• Lack of Federal Support: Absence of guaranteed paid parental or sick leave exacerbates the need for family-based childcare solutions.
• Intensive Parenting Culture: Modern parenting demands are more time-consuming and involved, increasing reliance on grandparents for both routine and intensive care tasks.

2. Personal Stories and Experiences

Frances Dodds shares her family's experience with grandparents taking full custody of her sister's children due to addiction issues:

"My parents were in their early 60s... they took custody of all four grandkids because my sister struggled with addiction."
(06:10)

Listener Michelle recounts being raised by her grandparents from six days old due to her mother's mental health issues:

"I'm 66 years old and my grandparents took me from the hospital six days old... I really wish I had them longer."
(09:21)

Kathy, a retired grandmother, describes her ongoing role in raising her grandchild:

"I'm in my late 70s and had to return to work... it's very difficult because my grandchild is here with me 24/7."
(16:39)

Roseanne shares a positive outcome of her caregiving experience:

"She’s very successful... it makes me very happy that I did it."
(21:47)

Susan discusses raising her twin grandchildren who have special needs:

"Our grandson has some special needs issues... It's exhausting emotionally and physically, but we have a very, very close bond."
(23:46)

Dandy reflects on caring for her grandmother while growing up:

"It was a totally different era... she was able to redo motherhood differently and better."
(27:12)

3. Historical Context of Multigenerational Living

Faith Hill provides a historical perspective on multigenerational households:

"In early American history, multigenerational living was not as common as people sometimes think... It really changed during the Great Depression."
(14:23)

She explains that while multigenerational living has fluctuated over time, the current surge is influenced by modern economic and social pressures rather than historical norms.

4. Challenges and Limitations

The episode highlights several challenges faced by caregiving grandparents:

• Physical and Emotional Strain: Many grandparents report exhaustion, especially as they age.

"Older adults are retiring later than they were in the 1990s... people are being stretched really thin."
(05:34)

• Unclear Boundaries: Agreements on caregiving roles are often vague, leading to grandparents taking on more responsibilities than anticipated.

"They find themselves... helping with homework, driving kids to extracurriculars... It's just getting really intense."
(04:42)

• Emotional Difficulties: Transitioning from viewing caregiving as temporary to a long-term commitment can be emotionally taxing.

"It's very common for families and grandparents to feel that this is going to be an impermanent solution... and then realize they need to take full responsibility."
(12:00-13:10)

Kathy emphasizes the lack of understanding from peers:

"My grandchild is here with me 24/7... it's not how I envision."
(16:39)

5. Positive Outcomes and Rewards

Despite the challenges, many grandparents find deep fulfillment in their roles:

"They were in my phase of life to give it a try and they did. She has turned around and it's very rewarding."
(22:05)

Faith Hill notes that caregiving can provide grandparents with a sense of purpose and a richer emotional life:

"They did have something that almost felt richer... carrying a lot has been a blessing and a burden simultaneously."
(23:33)

Roseanne shares her satisfaction with her grandchild’s success:

"She's 37 years old now... I'm glad that I did it."
(22:41)

6. Support Systems and Policy Comparisons

Frances Dodds discusses the importance of organizations like Generations United:

"Generations United provides access to local communities and organizations... they've been able to get funding for the kids, different types of therapy."
(25:18)

Faith Hill compares U.S. support systems to those in other countries, highlighting Sweden's effective childcare subsidies:

"They subsidize childcare in a way that we don't... the bonds between family members are really warm and sweet because there was this weight lifted."
(29:53)

She argues that enhancing support for parents would indirectly benefit grandparents by reducing the caregiving burden:

"Support for grandparents directly would be great, but another thing that would help grandparents is support for parents."
(30:09)

7. Conclusion

The episode wraps up by reiterating the dual nature of grandparent caregiving as both a rewarding and challenging experience. Faith Hill and Frances Dodds emphasize the need for greater societal support to alleviate the pressures on grandparents, ensuring that their invaluable contributions are sustainable and enriching for both generations.

"Support for grandparents... it absolutely is a national issue that needs to be addressed."
(30:09)

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on the evolving dynamics of family caregiving and advocate for policies that support multigenerational households.

Key Takeaways:

• Increased Caregiving Role: Economic pressures, higher childcare costs, and societal changes have led to more grandparents taking on significant childcare responsibilities.
• Emotional and Physical Strain: While rewarding, this role can lead to exhaustion and emotional challenges for older adults.
• Historical Shifts: Multigenerational living has varied historically, with current trends influenced by modern economic and social factors.
• Need for Support: Enhanced policies and support systems are crucial to help grandparents manage caregiving roles effectively.
• Personal Fulfillment: Despite challenges, many grandparents find deep meaning and satisfaction in their roles.

This episode of “All Of It” provides a nuanced exploration of the complexities surrounding grandparents as primary caregivers, blending personal narratives with expert analysis to illuminate the multifaceted nature of this social phenomenon.