
Last night saw the finale of "The Golden Bachelor," a show that presented a bachelor over the age of 70 with single women in the 60s and 70s in a bid to find love.
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A
Oh my gosh. Oh, thank you so much for having me, Allison.
B
I love that you were just. I was listening to an episode and you just went on a whole Golden Bachelor tear. And I said, if we do this, we're bringing Jordan in.
A
Absolutely. It's. It's good to come and talk about the golden batch. I don't have time to say Bachelor. I say golden batch. I am a Stanford Gare bearer. That just means a huge fan. I realize the demo. I'm a huge fan of Gary's from Jump. I was like, this guy, he just hooked me and I get what all the hoopla is about. I'd never watched the Bachelor before. I never watched it before. I believe in arranged marriages. I'm kidding. I'd never watched the Bachelor before. And so I was like. I just, you know, I was like, whatever. Maybe this will be Good. I watch it. I'm drawn in. I buy the T shirt. I'm totally, I got the keychain. I'm in. You know what I'm saying? And it's because it's older people. And it should only be this. This is the show.
B
This is it.
A
This is the show. It should only be this. You know, it's fun. You know, you gotta say that about the Bachelor. It's like any other show that's streaming. You're like, give it 29 seasons and they'll catch fire. And they'll catch fire. That's what I'm saying.
B
Listeners, come on. We want to hear from you. Did you watch the Golden Bachelor this season? What did you think about how it portrayed dating in your golden years? What made you watch it this season? And if you're a younger viewer, what impressions did it give you about aging? What did you think of Gary Turner and his final choice? We'll get to that in a minute. 2124-3396-9221-2433 w nyc. Our phone lines are open if you'd like to join us on air. You can also text to us at that number and our social media is available as well. Talking about the golden Bachelor. So, Jordan, you're not alone. You are a 40 something married, father of two children, handsome black man in his 40s, and you are watching this show.
A
Yes.
B
Here's a stat, okay? It has done better in 18 to 14 year old demographic than the last seasons of the regular Bachelor. Are you serious in terms of ratings?
A
Because we want to know what's ahead.
B
Is that what's ahead?
A
We want to know what's going.
B
We want to know what we 18 to 49 demo.
A
Yeah, the demo. That sweet spot. Yeah. But I think we want to know what's ahead. I mean, and it's good to know that, yes, like you still can fall in love at a certain age. Like if you have an AARP card, like your heart doesn't stop yearning for more. I thought that that's what you did in exchange for the card, but apparently not. And let me tell you something, okay, I want to go down a limb here, Scoop.
B
Okay?
A
But there were definitely some. There were some, you know, Mrs. Robinson, as I said, AARP definitely smoke shows happening on that show. I was like, what? People are people moisturize and I'm here to talk about it.
B
There were some great looking people.
A
Yes. Edith. Edith. My money was on Edith. I thought, I was like, she came out the limo. I was like, that's it like, bro, like, stop the competition, get out the golden rose and like, let's do it right now. Not. Not the case. There's more. I thought that, I thought that Leslie was very good looking lady and apparently Prince did too. These are not confirmed.
B
So that was one of those things. Some of these women which I thought was they've lived a lot of life, which is great. Which is great. And I think that had an impact on the way that they behave towards one another.
A
Yes.
B
And the way that they viewed this whole experience. There was a lot of hope.
A
There was a lot of hope. There was a lot of like camaraderie. And that cattiness which turns me off about reality TV was definitely dialed way down. And it was like, it was like, okay, well this is just, this is more entertainment and amusing than like, you know, watching people be toxic towards and divisive towards one another. And there's, there's also pickleball, you know.
B
You knew pickleball was going to be part of it.
A
Yeah. Who knew? Not me. Pickleball is taken all the way over and Sandra's dive, everybody.
B
So there's this very, there's very like the woman who had the Michelle Obama guns.
A
Yes.
B
Black woman in her 70s who just like she is a competitor and they're playing pickleball and all is going well until Sandra's like, I'm going for that ball.
A
Yes, she is. And by the way, she's had two knee replacement surgeries. Black don't crack Gary. It might have been too much for Gary to handle, but. But that's fine. That's fine. And I did like, yeah, it was such a great program. It was awesome.
B
Let me ask you a question about the production aspect of it. Because you're in the business and you're a writer and all, we can say that now. The Bachelor is usually two hours long. The Golden Bachelor was cut down to one hour episodes. What do you think the shorter format did for the show and how did it help it as a piece of entertainment if you think it did well.
A
I think that it just, it made you want to see more. Like, if you watch like, I mean, Bachelor in Paradise, guys, it just goes on and on. You know, these are reality shows that just like put in all these like contrived hangover. Excuse me, cliffhangers. Like, they make you just want to turn the TV off, you know, and you forget what you're watching. I feel like with this it was just like it was shortened and you all the more like, again, we know that, like, this is people in the kind of final seasons of their life. And so, like, you know, it was only an hour long. I was concerned about did everybody have time with Gary, you know, all the contestants. And so it just kept me on the edge of my seat, you know, that's. Yeah, shorten it. Short of sweet.
B
Let's talk about Gary. Gary is the first golden bachelor. Let's hear a bit of him talking from the first episode about why this 72 year old man who had been married to his high school sweetheart, love his life was high school sweetheart. Did I make that up?
A
No, you're right.
B
Yes. Why he would become the bachelor. I yearn for the second chance in life to fall in love again.
A
The person who can lay down beside you at night, not have to say anything and you feel it. That's love. That's what I want. I'm ready for that. And I hope that person's out there.
B
All right, cheesy music aside, Allison, let me just say.
A
Can I say something now?
B
Yeah.
A
Can I say something now? That is like ASMR from a heartbone. Okay, that is too much.
B
Gary's voice, he's so emotional. I mean, when he first is introduced.
A
Yes.
B
It's not. He's not, you know, a finger gun kind of guy. He's really. They show pictures of him with his. His now deceased wife who died suddenly. It was. What did you think about the way they brought him in and introduced him to America?
A
Child, please. When he touched that photograph and then put in his hearing aid and then Cat Stevens played. I called my dad. You know, it was like, it was so crazy, you know, watching him put.
B
In the hearing aid. That was so. I mean, I know that was TV producer manipulation, but it was also very real. He's like, this is what I'm right. They manipulate you on reality tv. But then he put it in and it was just like, this is my life and this is the way it is.
A
Yeah. He put it out there, bare bones. And it was like, this is the love of my life. This is a ghost that no one will ever replace. Try your best. And I loved that from the beginning. It sets the tempo and the plate and I'm in. I'm in. He hooked me.
B
We've already got a text about this. I was gonna get there. What about the Hollywood Reporter article on Jerry's misstate about having girlfriends since his wife died and being a cheapskate? Is he the gold digging bachelor? Wow.
A
First of all, okay, so many questions, so many follow ups, so much Smoke, I have to say. Okay. Leslie and Teresa, during the final. During their fantasy dates and fantasy suites and fantasy nights where they celebrated each other's bodies. At one point, Gary, in all this, asks Theresa what she does for a living. And she's like, I am the Wolf of Wall Street. And then Gare Bear is like. A certain spark goes off in his eyes, because let me tell you something. Security is a beautiful thing. Okay? Security's a beautiful thing. He's got cake with both. But I think she just put the icing on. And I did, like, the gender switch there, because traditionally, I've seen it the other way around. That's what's been presented to me in media. And Gary likes nice things.
B
Yes.
A
Gary can't have nice things, Allison.
B
Gary can have nice things. Gary. So it's. Okay. So it's interesting that sort of. That the piece. You know, it's the 15 minutes of fame he's climbed all the way up. He's America's sweetheart. And then there was this piece that came out, not coincidentally. Right.
A
We're talking about Gary's checkered past.
B
Yes.
A
That he owned a hot dog stand or burger.
B
Yeah. They talked it up that he was a restaurateur.
A
Excuse me. Excuse me.
B
I guess burgers.
A
It's a burger restaurant that is. Qualifies as a restaurant. Right. And if you were in France, you would say restaurateur. Right. So that could be a translation from Paris. I'm just here. I will literally twist myself into pretzels with logic in order to defend this man. Obviously.
B
That's so funny.
A
Obviously. This is a fairy tale, and people are. They have a past that they can't escape. He did love someone for a very long time and wants a new mate. And I am blown away by the vetting process, wherein they will just find someone who, like, went on a couple Tinder dates with Gary and it didn't work out. But, you know, I do think that. Yes, they did. ABC presented him as, like, this kind of, like, paragon of virtue when now we know.
B
Huh?
A
Huh? Okay. We know more. There's facts. What do you think?
B
People are human.
A
People are.
B
People are human. And TV producers are TV producers. I see.
A
People are human, but nobody. But no people are human, but no one is Gary.
B
And Jordan wants Gary to adopt him. Clearly.
A
Yeah. Can we do that? Where's that show?
B
You know, there's a saying among. There's a whole, like, subculture of the Bachelor.
A
Yeah.
B
Like Bachelor Nation. And there are podcasts, and there are. It goes on instagram accounts. And there's this saying about someone being on the show for the wrong reasons. Oh, this person's on for the wrong reasons. Like maybe in the younger Bachelor part of the franchise that they want to be a media influencer, they want to promote a business or promote themselves. Did you get a sense of that for the wrong reasons anywhere?
A
I did not get a sense of that at all. I thought that everyone was there for very virtuous reasons, very real reasons. I mean like, and I was moved by the reasons they were there. There was Ellen who she told her dying friend, like she, you know, calls out to the cosmos like we made it, you know, and like, you don't see that with like a Gen Z 20 year old at all. You know, that's. These people are like. It's the maximum expression of earnestness. You know, that's what really got me. It was people that, you know, that aren't camera ready. And that's been missing, I think, from reality.
B
What did you think about that idea? Because Gary is very earnest. Many of the women were very earnest. That is not a word you usually associate with reality TV being earnest. How did it play for you?
A
I think it played really well. Like I said, I don't watch a lot of reality tv. I'm out here watching Fellow Travelers. I'm out here watching just like that stuff about documentaries only Front Line, you know, things like that, you know, but, but then this cut through because of, because it captured a truth. It really captured a truth which is that we, we don't. We only have this one go round and, and this guy is a bit of a catch and he has all his hair and, and like what, you know, he seemed decent.
B
He seemed very decent.
A
Decent guy and that kind of thing. When you put people in that environment and there's only room for one, you're gonna get some real genuine takes and expressions and performances and not performances, but you're gonna capture something real and you don't find that on television.
B
My guest, Jordan Carlos, comedian, writer and Bachelor fan. We're talking about the Golden Bachelor. We want to hear from you. What did you think of the series the Golden Bachelor? What made you decide to watch this season? If you're a younger viewer, we'd like to hear your impression of the show. 212-433-969-2212-4433 wnyc. Someone texted to us, I haven't watched the Golden Bachelor but I'm crying just listening to your descriptions of the show. Well, there will be more descriptions Also, we have someone who is online, 78, who does not like the show. We'll hear from Charlie after the break. You're listening to all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. We are talking about romance after the age of 50, 60, and 70. We're gonna talk to Francine Russo, who's written a book about it and has some great advice on how to handle dating in your 60s and your 70s. Right now, though, we're talking about the Golden Bachelor has become this cultural phenomenon, this hugely popular based on the Bachelor series, but this time with a bachelor in his 70s and contestants in their 60s and their 70s. Jordan, you were saying. Jordan, Carlos is my guest. You were saying during the break that this show offered you hope.
A
It offers me so much hope, Alison. They go to Costa Rica together. They're in twin bathtubs like it's a dang Cialis commercial.
B
When they get to the final dates.
A
When they get to the final dates, I'm like, that's possible. That's a real thing in the world. I mean, if Gary can do it, I can do it. You know, I'm excited. I've been married 16 years. I would love to do twin bathtubs sometime while looking at a volcano. Yes. That makes me think that there is. It's all laddering up to something and that there is hope in that verse of my life.
B
You know, we have opposing opinions on the calls. We've got a someone who likes the Bachelor this episode a lot and someone who doesn't. Let's talk with Charlie first. Calling in from Connecticut. Charlie, you're 78 years old, and you did not like the Bachelor share with us. Why? Hi, Alice. Hi. Thank you for calling in.
A
It was so degrading for women. 20 women with their boobs hanging out.
B
Please pick me. Please pick me.
A
Give me a rose. I'm dying if I don't get a rose. Allison. I can't even believe he's having this.
B
Guy on, talking about it all like this. I would never let my granddaughter watch.
A
A show like this. It is so degrading to women.
B
Charlie, I'm so glad you called in. Now, this is so funny because you like the show.
A
Charlie's not wrong.
B
You're Jordan. Charlie's not wrong.
A
Charlie's not wrong.
B
The other Jordan in my life, who is our producer on the show, who is our bookish, produces our book series get lit, has had watch parties. She loves this show. Jordan is in her 20s.
A
Jordan is in her 20s. Let me tell you something. My heart is in its 20s. And I hope, Charlie, one day your heart will be there too. Because I have to say that the. Charlie is right. He's right. The dresses were definitely. There was one contestant that is trying to show Gary what he is missing. And oh, boy, you know, it's like things get. It's greater later. I understand. The lady looks great. It's all held up. Wonderful. And I think that, yes, there is a low brow kind of essence to the show, but at the same time, you know, in life, you can't enjoy the peaks. You can't enjoy the works of Edith Wharton unless you've watched Bachelor in Paradise, I feel. So you need a combination of high and low. You know what I mean? And it's kind of. It really was nice to be in tune with what a lot of people or talking about, because often I find myself. I feel like Charles, I feel like Charlie. I do feel as though sometimes I will watch things that are so niche and, you know, so. So British or so, like, you know, inside baseball that I'm not. I'm not expanding out and sometimes it's okay. And you know what? I'm still the same guy.
B
Yeah.
A
You know. Yeah.
B
Hey, I had to be. I. You know what I have had. I have had a great Wall of China on the show about reality tv until this segment.
A
Y.
B
Because I did think it was a bigger cultural phenomenon. There was something really interesting about it. Let's talk to Liz calling in from Short Hills. Hi, Liz. Thanks for calling all of it. Oh, hi. Thanks for having me. I'm listening to your conversation and really enjoying it. And it's so interesting to see the different perspectives on it. I watched the season. I really did enjoy it. I felt, though, there was one thing that stands out among from all the bachelor seasons of the past, and that was this generation of Gary and these women. They were all very respectful, collegial, and kind to each other. And we haven't always seen that in, you know, in the younger generations, there's a little, you know, they're mean girls and there's game playing. And these people, I think, were just. These participants were so. They were always so respectful of each other. And I feel like, you know, that should really be appreciated by the younger generations and noticed because this culture is canceling this generation and they really shouldn't. We still have a lot to learn from them. And I think this was a great example of how not to be petty or, you know, disrespectful, but how to be kind in the circumstance, even if you're competing for the love of one man. Yeah, there's a kind way to do that and respectful, collegial way. Right? Liz, thanks for calling in. We got Brian calling from Ridgewood. Brian, thank you so much for calling in. Yeah, thanks for having me.
A
Yeah, I watched the finale last night.
B
I braved through the commercials instead of.
A
Waiting for on Hulu.
B
But, yeah, oh, my God.
A
Like, it.
B
This was so fun.
A
You know, I'm 31, and we watched.
B
Some dating shows at my house. Like, I'm pretty picky about them. Like, Love is Blind is fun. Like the Queer Ultimatum.
A
If you haven't seen it, Run and.
B
Don't Walk to go watch that.
A
But, yeah, like, I. I loved the show.
B
It was so fun.
A
It was so sweet.
B
I mean, like, the last caller was saying it was just nice seeing, like.
A
All these women just, like, love and.
B
Appreciate and respect each other in ways that, like, I don't know yet. Younger people can get really petty and rude and. Yeah, for, you know, being such a, like, monogamous group of people, it seemed like they were very, like, open and kind with each other. The most drama that happened, I think Kathy was her name.
A
Like, kind of ended up, like, being.
B
Like, Teresa, you're telling me too much.
A
Like, I don't want to hear all.
B
The nitty gritty details about your dates. And that was, like, the most drama. That was, like, the most they could, like, stir up. It was. It was really fun. And that was her just being honest and authentic.
A
Yeah.
B
That was what was sort of interesting. It was like she was like, I just don't want to hear this. It wasn't even like, you're a bad person. It's just like, I don't want to hear about your dates with this man.
A
Right. Because it's like, she knows how to set a boundary. Because for a lot of the people, it's the thousandth time they've had the experience. Not the first time. So there's kind of, I think what the caller was talking about previous to this, the one from Summit, New Jersey. And by the way, congrats on your mall or Shorthills. But I feel as though what this show has taught is grace is grace. Like, there's grace and defeat. Even Leslie was like, I've lost again. Which was really sad, and we wish her well. Anybody that dated Prince is down for good things. So that's all I have to say, you know?
B
You know, there was. The show also dealt with tragedies. There were people talked about death of spouses. One woman left the show because her daughter was having severe postpartum depression.
A
Yes.
B
Things you don't usually get on the regular Bachelor franchise. There was also, you know, sort of the spectrum. I'll put throw the skunk on the table sex, you know?
A
Whoa, whoa. There's a fantasy suit. We call that celebrating other people's bodies. Now, go ahead.
B
They have the fantasy suite.
A
Right. Fantasy suite.
B
Which is usually. It's understood that these people who have made it right down to the end will get an opportunity to have private time. No camera crews around. Jordan's putting his hands over his face.
A
My glasses are fogging up. Go ahead, Allison, you. Yes.
B
It's a funny clip from the show. It's a clip from the show where you can hear host Jesse Palmer.
A
Yes.
B
Who's getting embarrassed. Yes. Talking about sex with the Bachelor. Gary.
A
There's overnight dates. Right. There's fantasy suites. I mean, when you hear that, what comes to mind? Many people will be looking at that, as do people my age still knock boots and have a good time behind closed doors. I mean, your parents. Are you still feeling like mom and dad come down the stairs with a little extra spring in their steps?
B
Tmi.
A
Tmi.
B
I may be having that kind of day.
A
Let's just get this on you, can we?
B
I just love that he said knock boots. That's awesome.
A
Knock boots.
B
And then he turned it back on. On the young gentleman.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, why. Why is this embarrassing to you? Why is this difficult for you to handle? Host man.
A
Exactly. I'd never seen the host ever, like, get flustered like that. And that was such a great moment. And Gary with the. I mean, reaching back into the 90s with knock boots. Okay. Gary came to play, and I love that for him. And it just shows that it gets greater later. It gets greater later. And, yes, we should talk then normalize the conversation around the fact that we expect people, older people, to stop wanting to have sex. You know, And I think that that's. I thought that was such a good moment. I mean, it's one of the reasons that it just kept me watching, you know?
B
Well, I had this moment when I was. When I was watching. I watched the first episode and then the last two, and I had this moment when I realized I'm actually closer in age to these ladies.
A
Impossible.
B
The women who are on the regular Bachelor.
A
First of all, impossible. First of all, no, I'm not. This interview is over. Cannot be.
B
But that's just sort of fun to me.
A
I thought, like, fake news. Yeah. Okay, go ahead.
B
All right. So in three years I'm near the age of one of these women on the Golden Bachelor. How do I feel about this? And then watching them be so friendly to each other and like do each other's hair and it's just. I enjoyed it more than I expected to. I told you I'd only watched one other season of Bachelorette when it was the black Bachelorette I wanted to support. And then I realized after watching it, I was so mad I couldn't get those moments of my life back because I was like not doing this again. But then watching this parts of the season, there was something about it that was affirming.
A
Yes. And I don't think that it was just like a one off. I think they should just start doing this more often.
B
Do you think there's gonna be a golden Bachelorette?
A
I think there's gonna be a golden bachelorette. I wanna see a golden bachelor in paradise, which, I mean, that's literally just. Let's go to a Sandals. Let's go to a. What do they call? Make a cruise all inclusive. Oh, my.
B
A cruise would. Bachelor in Paradise.
A
Yeah. Golden bachelor shuffleboard. You better. I mean, come on the line dancing alone. Let's go.
B
It'll be so, so good. So spoiler alert for anybody who's watched. We kind of spoiled it already. Gary made. You snorted. Gary made his choice. How do you feel about. He chose Teresa, who was a 70 year old grandma Nana. She. Gary charmed her grandchildren. And how are you feeling about that?
A
I felt Gary chose like he's loved well and he also loves wise. So Gary has gone ahead and understood that first of all, retirement is tough. And he saw that house. That house was great. It was in New Jersey, a nice colonial with good siding. And I know he was summoning. I could just see the calculator calculate and he's like, yeah, I could get used to this. So he's doing that. And now I hear just that they're looking at places in South Carolina on the shore, like really nice. So it's like I love the idea.
B
That these people are gonna be happy.
A
They're gonna be really happy.
B
If you're 72 and 70 years old and enjoy the rest of your life together.
A
Yeah, enjoy the rest of your life. I mean, truly. I felt like, I felt with Leslie when we did the home, we. Wow. Listen to me. When they did the hometown with Leslie, her family left a little to be desired and like. And I just felt. I felt with Theresa, it was just more solid and it was like, probably gonna be a better fit because when you marry somebody, you marry their family.
B
Yeah, that's true.
A
Learn that. Yeah. So you just huffed, but no, I.
B
Just was like, I just think, you know, I'm glad we had this conversation.
A
Me too. Me too.
B
I wasn't sure which way it was gonna go. Some people have not liked it. I'm gonna be all honest.
A
Who that?
B
Some people have texted in that they don't want us talking about reality tv.
A
Charlie.
B
But you know what it was. I thought it was an interesting cultural moment.
A
It's an interesting cultural moment. And by the way, you know, it was public television that brought us reality tv. So I mean, if we can just bring it full circle, we have, I mean, public, public media.
B
There you go.
A
We could only blame ourselves. It's all right.
B
We can only blame ourselves. Jordan, Carlos, you should check out anytime. He is performing on stage. And definitely the adulting podcast. Anything else really great coming up.
A
Yes, please watch First Wives Club on Netflix. Really happy about it. It's been in the top five for two weeks now. And I both wrote and acted on season two of that. And it. And to have it get this platform is crazy. So please support black folks doing their thing. Appreciate it. Yeah.
B
Jordan, thanks for coming in.
A
Yes. I'm gonna put you on nephew. All right, unc.
B
Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order, miss?
A
I've been hitting up McDonald's for years. Now it's back. We need snack wraps. What's a snack wrap? It's the return of something great. Snack wrap is back.
B
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Podcast: All Of It
Host: Alison Stewart, WNYC
Guest: Jordan Carlos, comedian and "Bachelor" superfan
Date: December 1, 2023
Episode Focus: Examining the cultural impact and representation of older adults in dating through the lens of reality TV phenomenon "The Golden Bachelor."
This episode delves into how ABC’s “The Golden Bachelor” has disrupted norms around dating and romance for people in their 60s and 70s, providing cultural commentary on aging, sincerity in reality TV, and the collective response from audiences across generations. The discussion is both insightful and lighthearted, punctuated by listener calls expressing both adoration and criticism for the show.
The podcast delivers a textured, often humorous exploration of how "The Golden Bachelor" has upended expectations for romance, aging, and reality television. Through insightful exchanges, listener feedback, and direct confrontation of both criticism and praise, the episode affirms that love, earnestness, and hope are not the exclusive provenance of youth. Rather, they are universal—and worth celebrating at any age.