All Of It: How COVID Changed Relationships
Hosted by Alison Stewart, WNYC
Release Date: March 11, 2025

In this insightful episode of All Of It, host Alison Stewart explores the profound impact the COVID-19 pandemic has had on personal relationships. Joined by Vox senior writer Ali Volpe, who meticulously covered dating and friendship dynamics during the pandemic and is currently penning a book titled Are We Still On?, the conversation delves into how isolation, technological shifts, and accelerated timelines reshaped the way we connect with others.

1. The Resilience and Fraying of Friendships

Ali Volpe begins by dissecting which friendships weathered the storm of the pandemic and which ones began to dissolve. She explains that relationships deeply ingrained in daily routines—such as those with family members, partners, and best friends—tended to remain strong. In contrast, peripheral friendships, like those with acquaintances from social gatherings, often faded away due to reduced interaction and differing priorities during the crisis.

Ali Volpe [02:00]: "Those relationships that were already pretty well established... tended to make it through to the other side."

2. Technology as the Lifeline for Connections

The conversation shifts to the pivotal role technology played in maintaining relationships during lockdowns. Ali reflects on the surge in using platforms like Zoom and Slack, which became indispensable tools for socializing and working remotely.

Ali Volpe [03:08]: "I don't think I had heard of Zoom prior to this day. Five years ago, people were online all day working..."

Initially, these technologies facilitated numerous virtual gatherings—from happy hours to weddings and baby showers. However, as time wore on, the constant screen time led to what became known as "Zoom fatigue," causing a decline in digital interactions.

Ali Volpe [04:33]: "Oh, this is exhausting, and maybe I don't want to do this so much anymore."

3. Listener Stories: Navigating Relationships During COVID

The episode features heartfelt stories from listeners who navigated their relationships amidst the pandemic's challenges:

• Ryan from Brooklyn shares how he and his wife, who co-owned a bar in Bushwick, sustained their relationship through professional and personal hardships brought on by lockdowns.

  Ryan [05:26]: "Our relationship has survived just in sort of determination and, like, we'll get through this."

• Greg from Mountain Lakes, New Jersey recounts meeting his wife online, quickly getting engaged, and maintaining a happy marriage while raising a young child.

  Greg [06:07]: "We hit it off really well and we got engaged and we're still married."

• Chris from Brooklyn describes the expedited commitment in his relationship with Nathan, leading to living together and celebrating anniversaries just five years later.

  Chris [06:23]: "We had to have a really kind of expedited conversation about committing to each other."

4. Accelerated Relationship Timelines

Alison and Ali discuss how the pandemic compelled many to make swift decisions regarding their relationships. The uncertainty and risks associated with COVID-19 fostered a sense of urgency to formalize commitments and strengthen bonds rapidly.

Ali Volpe [07:19]: "People were very intentional with their relationships... It definitely accelerated relationships."

5. The Evolution and Fatigue of Dating Apps

The pandemic significantly altered the landscape of dating, with apps becoming the primary means of meeting new people due to restrictions on social interactions. However, this shift also introduced a more transactional and disposable nature to relationships, leading to widespread "dating app fatigue."

Ali Volpe [09:03]: "Once the pandemic hit, like, that just became the way you met people... It became the predominant form of dating."

Therapists and dating coaches noted an increase in feelings of disposability among users, as the abundance of available matches made connections feel less meaningful.

6. Creative Technological Solutions for Maintaining Friendships

Listeners shared innovative ways they leveraged technology to sustain friendships:

• Marianne from Queens highlights the popularity of Animal Crossing and streaming services that allowed friends to interact virtually through gaming and movie nights.

  Marianne [10:39]: "Animal Crossing had just dropped... It was a really fun way for people to keep in contact."

Ali adds that beyond gaming, platforms like Zoom facilitated unconventional uses such as virtual weddings, allowing couples to celebrate love safely.

Ali Volpe [12:11]: "People were maybe doing backyard weddings and displaying the whole thing on Zoom... It was a safe and distanced way to get married."

7. Building Supportive Online Communities

Beth from Ossining shares her experience of creating a virtual support group using Zoom, connecting with an international community to navigate grief, parenting, and other life challenges during the pandemic.

Beth [14:23]: "We use Zoom... It was really helpful at our age and stage... sharing joys that might happen or those deferred weddings."

8. Reflections on Lasting Changes and Future Directions

As the episode concludes, Ali Volpe reflects on the positive and negative shifts in relationship dynamics caused by the pandemic. She emphasizes the value of intentionality in friendships, advocating for ongoing open conversations that define and strengthen bonds.

Ali Volpe [16:21]: "Let's have these defining the relationship moments... I would love to see that persist more."

Conversely, she urges a move away from prioritizing individual self-care to fostering stronger community connections, promoting a balance between personal well-being and collective support.

Ali Volpe [16:21]: "We should just care a little more about our communities."

This episode of All Of It offers a comprehensive exploration of how COVID-19 reshaped our interpersonal relationships, highlighting both the resilience of certain bonds and the vulnerabilities exposed in others. Through personal anecdotes and expert analysis, Alison Stewart and Ali Volpe paint a nuanced picture of the pandemic's enduring legacy on the fabric of our social lives.