Podcast Summary: "How to Be a Better Gift Giver"

Podcast: All Of It
Host: Alison Stewart (WNYC)
Guest: Maxine Builder, Editor of the Strategist (New York Magazine)
Date: December 8, 2023

Overview

This episode explores the art—and some science—of thoughtful gift giving. Host Alison Stewart welcomes Maxine Builder, editor of the "Strategist" gift guide, to discuss creative, impactful presents just in time for the holiday season. The conversation is enriched by listener call-ins sharing their most thoughtful gifts and advice for challenging recipients, and covers both material gifts and experiences as ways to show appreciation and care.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. What Makes a "Good" Gift?

• A meaningful gift is something the recipient will truly use and love.
• Be a "gift spy": Pay attention to what people like on Instagram or mention in passing.
• Keep notes throughout the year to recall what someone expressed interest in.
  • Quote: "Being a good gift giver is also sometimes being a good spy... if someone mentioned something that they had their eye on, file it away, put it in your little notes app, and save it for later."
    — Maxine Builder (02:40)

2. How to Figure Out What People Want

• Check eBay bidding histories, Amazon wishlists, or other digital breadcrumbs.
• Even a little "sneakiness" adds fun and surprise for the recipient.
  • Quote: "One of them was saying that they have looked at what their spouse has bid on on ebay, for instance, and then tries to outbid them... it can be fun. And I think it adds to that delight and surprise."
    — Maxine Builder (03:11)

3. Categorizing Gift Guides

• The guides are born from real life challenges—teens and tweens top the "hard to shop for" list.
• Talking directly to the target group is crucial for insight.

4. Gift Giving for Romantic Partners

• Opt for useful, desired gifts.
• Experiences (concerts, dinners) are sometimes more valuable than objects.
  • Quote: "I think in some ways you can't discount just spending some quality time with each other, too. And so, you know, thinking of gifts... making a reservation and sharing it with them can be a perfectly nice gift for your significant other."
    — Maxine Builder (04:25)

5. Listener Call-In Highlights

• Book or Movie Recommendations Gift (05:01): Compile friends' recommendations in a creative package—provides lasting enjoyment and insight into your social circle.
• Planting a Tree for Mom (05:42): A willow tree gift changed and grew over a decade—a literal "gift that keeps on giving."
  • Quote: "It's something she can literally see change year after year. And I don't think I will ever top a gift my entire life as much as that one."
    — Judd, caller (06:19)

6. Specific Gift Ideas from the Strategist

• For Home Gardeners:
  • Aero Garden Sprout—a self-watering countertop garden (07:20)
• For Curious or Hotel-Inspired Boyfriends:
  • Tushy bidet, easy to install (08:08)
• For Organization:
  • Hobonichi Techo, a beloved Japanese planner (08:50)
• For Forgetful Friends:
  • Apple AirTags; Maxine recommends making them more personal with cute keychains (09:12)
    • Quote: "For my husband actually, who loses things sometimes, I got him these little strawberry shaped ones."
      — Maxine Builder (09:12)

7. Creative and Personalized Gifts (Listener Calls)

• Commissioning a painting loved by the recipient (10:00)
• Creating custom ornaments referencing family memories (e.g. a Matchbox car family minivan) (10:38)
• Fulfilling a dream experience—a tugboat ride for mom (11:11)

8. Shared Experiences and Activities

• Board games/card games:
  • Dutch Blitz – fast-paced, fun, slightly chaotic (11:42)
  • Wavelength – suitable for groups, encourages collaborative thinking (12:13)
• Book club gifts—gift a book to read and discuss together (13:05)
  • Recent suggestions: "The Guest" by Emma Cline, Britney Spears’ memoir, Walter Isaacson’s biography of Elon Musk, Matthew Perry’s memoir.

9. Low-Cost, High-Impact Gifts

• Flower bulbs such as amaryllis or paperwhite narcissus (14:14)
• Made-for-grandparents presents:
  • "Just Between Us" grandmother & granddaughter journal—encourages storytelling and relationship-building, can be mailed back and forth (14:25)
  • "Grandma and Me in the Kitchen" cookbook—simple recipes for family bonding (15:10)

10. Tech and Photo Gifts

• Digital photo frames—the Aura brand is recommended: easy updating for long-distance sharing (16:04)
• Mention of new tech gadgets, including folding phones as "retro-cool," the new iPhone, and quality headphones (16:48)

11. Other Memorable Listener Gift Ideas

• Personalized photo calendar documenting shared moments (17:26)
• SodaStream-type water carbonators to encourage healthier habits (17:36)
• Experiences like museum memberships (MoMA) (18:32)

12. "Goofy" and Simple Presents

• LEGO sets are fun and engaging for all ages—don't be afraid to choose something a bit whimsical or silly (17:50)
• Best gifts don’t have to be fancy—running shoes, for example, show care and thoughtfulness (18:13)
  • Quote: "It's nothing super fancy, but it was exactly what I wanted... it's showing someone that you've listened to them and you care about them."
    — Maxine Builder (18:13)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "Being a good gift giver is also sometimes being a good spy... file it away, put it in your little notes app, and save it for later."
  — Maxine Builder (02:40)

• "It's something she can literally see change year after year. And I don't think I will ever top a gift my entire life as much as that one."
  — Judd, caller (06:19)

• "For my husband actually, who loses things sometimes, I got him these little strawberry shaped [AirTag holders]."
  — Maxine Builder (09:12)

• "It's nothing super fancy, but it was exactly what I wanted... it's showing someone that you've listened to them and you care about them."
  — Maxine Builder (18:13)

Episode Structure & Major Timestamps

• 00:33 — Opening and setting the stage for the gift giving discussion
• 01:45 — Maxine Builder introduced, listener participation encouraged
• 02:40 — Maxine introduces the "gift spy" concept
• 05:01 — Listener calls: creative book gifting
• 05:42 — Listener calls: gifting a memorable tree
• 07:20 — Discussion: AeroGarden Sprout for indoor gardeners
• 08:08 — Discussion: Tushy bidet as a gift
• 08:50 — Organization & tracking gifts: planners and Apple AirTags
• 10:00 — Listener calls: commissioning a painting
• 10:38 — Listener calls: custom car ornament
• 11:11 — Listener calls: gifting an experience (tugboat ride)
• 11:42 — Game night/experience gifts (Dutch Blitz, Wavelength)
• 13:05 — Book club and memoir gifts
• 14:25 — Grandparent gifts: journals, family cookbooks
• 16:04 — Digital photo frames for long-distance families
• 16:48 — Tech gadgets for 2023
• 17:26 — Listener shares creative photo calendar gift
• 17:50 — Simple or goofy gifts: LEGO, thoughtful sneakers
• 18:32 — Experiences as gifts: museum membership

Final Takeaways

• Personalization is key—a thoughtfully chosen or created gift, big or small, creates lasting memories.
• Experiences and time together often outweigh physical gifts, especially for those who “have everything.”
• Don’t discount whimsy or practicality—well-chosen “everyday” items or fun activities can be the most cherished presents.
• Crowdsourcing ideas from others can uncover creative, meaningful options and strengthen bonds.

Maxine’s Main Advice: Don’t be afraid to lean into the silly or unconventional, and always show that you listen and care.

For more suggestions, check out The Strategist gift guide on New York Magazine’s website.