All Of It Podcast Summary: Jeff Hiller's New Memoir 'Actress of a Certain Age'

Podcast Information

• Title: All Of It
• Host: Alison Stewart
• Episode: Jeff Hiller's New Memoir 'Actress of a Certain Age'
• Release Date: June 9, 2025
• Description: ALL OF IT is a show about culture and its consumers, engaging thinkers, doers, makers, and creators to explore the what and why of their work within the vibrant tapestry of New York City.

Introduction to Jeff Hiller and His Memoir

[00:31] Alison Stewart:
Alison Stewart welcomes Jeff Hiller, known as the best friend and truth broker Joel from the Peabody Award-winning show Somebody Somewhere. She introduces his memoir, titled Actress of a Certain Age: My 20-Year Trail to Overnight Success. Jeff emphasizes that his memoir diverges from typical celebrity narratives by focusing on humor and authentic insights rather than melodrama or clichés.

Jeff Hiller:
Jeff shares his passion for memoirs, particularly those of famous individuals, highlighting his desire to write a memoir that is both laugh-out-loud funny and deeply honest about his personal experiences, including coming out to his parents and facing health issues.

Avoiding Memoir Clichés and Embracing Authenticity

[02:02] Alison Stewart:
Alison probes into Jeff's approach to writing his memoir, specifically what he chose to exclude to maintain authenticity.

Jeff Hiller:
Jeff explains his deliberate avoidance of common memoir tropes, such as overemphasizing grandparents' histories or using gimmicky anecdotes like rejecting a movie that becomes a blockbuster hit (e.g., Titanic). Instead, he aimed to keep the focus on his personal journey and achievements, stating, “I just want to hear about when you won that big gold statue” ([02:09]).

[02:53] Jeff Hiller:
He further elaborates on his intention to create a memoir that is genuine and humorous, ensuring that each chapter starts with the title of a celebrity memoir and includes a relevant tidbit about the celebrity’s rise to fame. This practice underscores the uniqueness of individual journeys and discourages detrimental comparisons.

Jeff Hiller:
“It’s kind of a lesson of the book and of my life, too, that everybody's story is unique and special. And if you're comparing yourself all the time, you're gonna be despairing, and you start to lose hope and become a little cynical” ([03:51]).

Personal Struggles and Turning Points

[04:31] Alison Stewart:
Alison brings up a pivotal moment in Jeff's life involving a midlife crisis triggered by personal and professional struggles.

Jeff Hiller:
Jeff recounts a low point in 2017, marked by emotional distress and unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overeating cookies. He describes this moment as a wake-up call that ultimately led him to develop a sense of gratitude and resilience.

[06:22] Jeff Hiller:
He discusses how self-help books played a crucial role in his recovery, citing authors like Pema Chödrön, Brené Brown, and Eckhart Tolle as instrumental in fostering vulnerability and honesty in his life.

[07:10] Jeff Hiller:
“When I realized I needed to be grateful for life, just whatever life is” ([06:17]), encapsulating his journey towards embracing gratitude and moving forward.

Early Life and Coming Out

[08:22] Alison Stewart:
Alison transitions to Jeff's upbringing in Texas, exploring his experiences as a profoundly homosexual child in the 1980s.

Jeff Hiller:
He shares insights into his supportive relationship with his mother, who was proactive and compassionate during his coming out process, and his more reserved father, who expressed his acceptance through actions rather than words.

[09:07] Jeff Hiller:
He reflects on the complexities of acceptance within the LGBTQ+ community and society at large, illustrating that relationships and personal acceptance are multifaceted.

Pursuing an Acting Career in New York

[14:22] Alison Stewart:
The conversation shifts to Jeff’s decision to pursue acting in New York City, highlighting the challenges of apartment hunting.

Jeff Hiller:
He humorously describes the competitive and financially demanding nature of securing an apartment in NYC, emphasizing the persistence and passion required to thrive in the city. “And I like you. Even if you live in New Jersey” ([14:47]).

[15:24] Jeff Hiller:
Jeff shares anecdotes about his early struggles, including attending an overcrowded open house and eventually finding his first apartment in Harlem. He nostalgically recalls the vibrant and now more gentrified Harlem neighborhood, illustrating his deep connection to the city.

Auditioning and Embracing the Process

[17:55] Alison Stewart:
Alison asks Jeff to describe a particularly memorable audition experience.

Jeff Hiller:
He narrates a humorous and slightly embarrassing encounter during an audition at the Roundabout Theater Company, where he had to ask director Sam Mendes for bathroom access mid-audition. This story underscores the unpredictability and personal nature of acting careers.

[18:56] Alison Stewart:
Alison references a piece of advice from Jeff’s book about focusing on performance rather than chasing agents.

Jeff Hiller:
Jeff advises aspiring actors to prioritize honing their craft through various avenues like acting classes, web series, and improvisation, rather than fixating solely on securing representation. He emphasizes the importance of longevity and personal fulfillment over transient success: “A career is built on longevity, not on making the top 30 comics under 30 lists” ([19:11]).

Defining Success and Personal Growth

[20:54] Alison Stewart:
Alison inquires about Jeff's perspective on his own success and milestones.

Jeff Hiller:
Jeff identifies his role in Somebody Somewhere as his true breakthrough, highlighting the moment he realized his work was making a meaningful impact on audiences. He cherishes the connections he forms with listeners who express how his performances have influenced their lives.

[21:42] Alison Stewart:
Alison mentions an encounter Jeff describes in his book with Tony nominee Jon Groff.

Jeff Hiller:
He shares the humorous and humbling experience of meeting Jon Groff, which, despite the embarrassment, signifies an important moment in his journey and the realities of public interactions.

Closing Remarks

[22:24] Alison Stewart:
Alison wraps up the conversation by reiterating the book’s title and release details, expressing gratitude for Jeff’s participation.

Jeff Hiller:
He thanks Alison for having him on the show, emphasizing his excitement about the book's release.

Key Takeaways and Insights

• Authenticity Over Clichés: Jeff Hiller’s memoir stands out by avoiding typical celebrity memoir tropes, focusing instead on genuine, humorous, and heartfelt storytelling.

• Personal Struggles Foster Resilience: Jeff’s candid discussion about his midlife crisis and coping mechanisms highlights the importance of vulnerability and self-acceptance in personal growth.

• Embracing Unique Journeys: The memoir underscores that each individual's path to success is unique, discouraging harmful comparisons and promoting self-compassion.

• Focus on Craft: Jeff advocates for dedicating energy to developing one’s skills and passion projects rather than solely pursuing external validation or traditional markers of success.

• Community and Connection: Throughout his journey, Jeff emphasizes the significance of community, whether through supportive family relationships or meaningful interactions with his audience.

Notable Quotes

• Jeff Hiller on Authenticity:
  “Everybody's story is unique and special. And if you're comparing yourself all the time, you're gonna be despairing, and you start to lose hope and become a little cynical.” ([03:51])

• Jeff Hiller on Success:
  “A career is built on longevity, not on making the top 30 comics under 30 lists.” ([19:47])

• Jeff Hiller on Embracing Flaws:
  “You just have to own it. And, you know, what are you gonna do? I can't change it at this point.” ([07:22])

Conclusion

Jeff Hiller's Actress of a Certain Age: My 20-Year Trail to Overnight Success offers a refreshing and honest exploration of an actor’s journey through the competitive landscape of New York City. By blending humor with poignant reflections, Jeff provides valuable insights into personal resilience, the importance of authenticity, and the unique paths individuals navigate toward their definitions of success. This episode of All Of It serves as an inspiring conversation for anyone interested in the intersections of culture, personal growth, and the arts.