All Of It — Kris Mohandie, Ph.D., Discusses Stalking Awareness

Podcast: All Of It with Alison Stewart (WNYC)
Episode Date: February 1, 2024

Episode Overview

This episode focuses on stalking awareness with Dr. Kris Mohandie, a renowned forensic psychologist and recognized expert in threat and risk management. The discussion ranges from defining stalking, to practical steps for safety, the complexities of law enforcement involvement, types of stalking behaviors, and how technology is changing the landscape. Listeners also call in to share personal stories, providing real-world context to the issue.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Stalking

• Stalking is not just about threats, but about repeated, unwanted contact that instills fear.

• Three core components:

  • A course of conduct (multiple incidents)
  • Behavior is unwanted
  • Victim experiences fear

  “Stalking involves repeated unwanted contacts or approach behaviors of a target that puts the victim in fear.”
  — Dr. Kris Mohandie [02:37]

• Contact need not be explicitly threatening; context matters.

  “The contact doesn't have to be verbally threatening at all to be stalking. The behavior itself may be perceived as threatening… Verbal threats are not necessary in many or most jurisdictions in order for it to be considered stalking.”
  — Dr. Kris Mohandie [04:55]

• Documentation is crucial for law enforcement and legal proceedings; victims should save evidence even if the instinct is to delete or discard it.

2. Types of Stalkers

• Dr. Mohandie outlines four types:

  • Ex-intimate stalkers (often most dangerous)
  • Acquaintance stalkers (colleagues, clients, etc.)
  • Private stranger stalkers (obsession with someone encountered in daily life)
  • Public figure stalkers (celebrity cases)

  “The average stalking case is going to be an ex boyfriend, ex lover, ex girlfriend pursuing somebody that they've had a prior intimate relationship with. And those cases are frankly… oftentimes the most scary and dangerous.”
  — Dr. Kris Mohandie [12:17]

  “If you've never had a relationship with your victim, that type of stalker typically will have some sort of serious mental illness… But exes often will have personality disorders, narcissism, borderline personality kinds of characteristics… entitlement… want to possess or punish the victim.”
  — Dr. Kris Mohandie [13:47]

3. Real-World Challenges for Victims

• Reporting difficulties:
  Many victims find law enforcement responses inadequate or dismissive, sometimes making the situation more dangerous.

  “A lot of times for women, when they report to the police, it's dismissed and it escalates the violence. And women know this intuitively… that it'll cause escalation.”
  — Angelique, caller [08:19]

  “There is wide variability in the receptivity and skill and appropriateness of law enforcement responses… Even in agencies that have had good stalking programs, you can have a change of personnel… starting from ground zero.”
  — Dr. Kris Mohandie [09:08]

• Self-advocacy is essential:

  • Push for your own case, escalate within agencies if necessary.
  • Develop a personal safety plan; utilize resources like shelters as needed.
  • Use available online and community tools (see resources below).

4. Technology and Stalking

• Stalkers quickly exploit new technologies — from pagers and fax machines to social media and tracking devices.

  “Every single time there's a technological advancement, stalkers will use it… Social media, tracking devices… technology will be abused by stalkers.”
  — Dr. Kris Mohandie [27:21 / 29:37]

  • The rise of influencer and social media culture increases risk, as people share more of their lives and locations online.
  • Stalkers may use innocuous technology (like Bluetooth trackers) to monitor victims.

5. Listener Stories and Diversity of Cases

• Angelique (North Carolina): Shared her hesitation in reporting stalking due to fears of escalation and police inaction [08:19].

• Brian (New Rochelle): As a Black male musician, was stalked by a white female who infiltrated his life, with police repeatedly called but unable to resolve the situation [18:25].

• Chris (Carmel, NY): Received mysterious, disturbing letters and cards for over 40 years, with law enforcement unsuccessful in identifying the stalker [20:24].

• Ann (New Jersey): Ex-husband, an NYPD detective, used police resources and technology to monitor and harass her during and after their marriage [24:42].

  These cases underscore stalking’s varied forms and the limitations of legal processes.

6. Support Resources & Final Advice

• Awareness and Documentation:

  • Document all incidents, save communications, note behavioral changes due to fear.
  • Seek support (mental health, advocacy) to mitigate trauma and feelings of isolation.

  “What I'd like to leave listeners with is there is a lot of variability in terms of law enforcement response… First consideration: Always keep yourself safe… There are resources out there… Don't give up. Get mental health support if you need it.”
  — Dr. Kris Mohandie [31:21–33:04]

• Key Resources:

  • Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center: stalkingawareness.org
  • Stop Stalking Us: stopstalkingus.com
  • Association of Threat Assessment Professionals

Notable Quotes

• “Obsessional followers is what he labeled stalkers… less of a legalistic term and more of a behaviorally informative term. What do these people do? They obsess and they pursue.”
  — Dr. Kris Mohandie [16:41]
• “You push, you advocate for yourself, you get people involved who may take you seriously… This is your life, this is your safety.”
  — Dr. Kris Mohandie [09:08]

Important Timestamps

• Defining stalking: [02:37–04:50]
• Is explicit threat required? [04:50–08:05]
• Types of stalkers: [13:47–16:40]
• Listener Angelique (challenges with reporting): [08:19–11:36]
• Role of technology and social media: [27:21–30:41]
• Caller stories (Brian, Chris, Ann): [18:25–26:48]
• Resources and final advice: [31:21–33:04]

Episode Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is empathetic and matter-of-fact, with a focus on pragmatic advice, acknowledgment of systemic shortcomings, and the reality that stalking affects all genders and backgrounds. Both Dr. Mohandie and Alison Stewart emphasize the need for vigilance, documentation, and persistence, while recognizing the emotional toll on victims.

The episode closes with a hopeful but realistic message: victims are not alone, resources exist, and continued advocacy is essential for change and personal safety.