Josh Gondelman (2:54)

Oh, yeah. I mean, I used to do it on the Internet. I would do it on Twitter and it would be late at night. Usually I'd be on the road and I would go, hey, if needs a pep talk, I'm here for five minutes, let me know. And I would get a lot of requests and try to respond as quickly and sincerely to as many people as I could. And it was a lot of fun. And it kind of was a nice wind down from if I was doing a standup show out of town or just if I got home late from something, my wife was already asleep and I was still kind of abuzz from being out. So yeah, it was really nice just to be able to burn off a little of that excess energy and try to do something nice for someone else too.

Kusha Navadar (3:28)

Yeah, doing something nice I think is key too. It is a great value to give somebody a pep talk. And as we wait for calls to come in and I already see some populating, I think it'd be helpful if maybe the first one could be for me. I could use a pep talk. Okay, so some context, Josh. I am on a strict diet for health reasons and it's a weird diet. I have to eat a lot of fiber and not much else and I'm tired of having to think about it all the time. I'm tired of five psyllium fiber husk pills at every meal. I am tired of boiled zucchini. And frankly, nothing I do seems to be working and I'm starting to get fed up, if you can excuse the p. And I really just wanna quit. So keep me going. Tell me it will be worth it.

Josh Gondelman (4:10)

Okay, I have one quick follow up question. Cause first of all, high fiber diet, the immediate pep talk is not to be too explicit, but think about how on time the trains in your tummy will be running. So that I imagine is part of the goal, but is the idea that this diet is permanent or temporary?

Kusha Navadar (4:26)

It is permanent.

Josh Gondelman (4:27)

Wow.

Kusha Navadar (4:27)

It is permanent.

Josh Gondelman (4:28)

So that's tough. Here's what I think is a huge thing to think about. When you're used to eating things that are bad or not flavorful and you wish you could have other stuff, think about how that prepares you for when you're in situations where all the food is bad. Right when you're at an airport and there's so little. And when there is, if you're at like a gathering in some, like the whatever the fifth verse of Rapper's Delight. The macaroni sour, the peas are mush. Chicken tastes like wood, and you're just ready. You can take it on because you're ready for a flavorless life, but also, it will be worth it. This is one of those things where, like, it's so hard to see the future now, right? To think about, like, how the payoff will be, especially if it's taken a while. But, like, thinking about that when you eat your husks is like, you go, oh, I'm not eating this because of the taste. I'm not doing it because I don't want a bag of chips or a scoop of ice cream or a big grilled cheese sandwich. I'm doing it for the future, which is the hardest kind of thing where you're not seeing results. But, like, that you can do it. You can make this work, and you will feel better, and that is worth the sacrifice.

Kusha Navadar (5:48)

You are absolutely right that it is hard to see the future now. And I think hearing that just kind of actually makes me feel a little bit better about being real, because I.

Josh Gondelman (5:56)

Think there's so much stuff that we're supposed to do that we see the results later, and it's miserable. And just to be like, okay, it's okay that this is bad. Like, I don't have to pretend this is good. That's how I feel about, like, you go to the dentist and you're not like, ooh, I love a teeth cleaning necessarily. Maybe some of the listeners are true perverts, but you're like, you go, oh, this feels bad. And that's okay because it is for the greater good. Yeah.

Kusha Navadar (6:23)

Thank you so much for that, listeners. If you want a pep talk from the amazing Josh Gondelman, give us a call. Send us a text. We're at 212-433-9692. Let's go to our first caller, Rachel in Tarrytown, New York. Rachel, hi. Welcome to the show.

Rachel (6:39)

Hello. Hi, everybody. H. How are you?

Kusha Navadar (6:42)

Great. How are you?

Rachel (6:43)

Thank you for. Yeah, thanks for taking my call. I shouldn't be laughing, but I'm laughing because. Am I really the first caller?

Kusha Navadar (6:51)

Save the best for first. Go ahead.

Rachel (6:54)

Okay. Okay. So. Yes. So I'm driving back from New York City and leaving early because I'm so anxious about the weather and getting stuck. Stuck in New York again after Tuesday. So my pep talk as I. When I first called in, I said, it's. It's. I'm feeling actually more anxious above and beyond the whole election campaign. About the weather, because that's something that we really can't control. So, yeah, that's my pep talk. And.

Kusha Navadar (7:31)

And so, Rachel, you want a pep talk about feeling anxious about the weather, Is that right?

Rachel (7:36)

Yeah, just talk me down from the sledge. Because, I don't know, it seems just, you know, the climate change is really kind of up.

Kusha Navadar (7:45)

It's the climate change that's on your mind.

Josh Gondelman (7:47)

Yeah.

Rachel (7:49)

Yeah. And you know, I mean, honestly, I did watch the weather last night to prepare, but it made it worse for me.

Kusha Navadar (7:57)

Got it. Rachel, thank you so much for calling. I'm sure a lot of people can commiserate with you. Josh, what would you say?

Josh Gondelman (8:03)

Yeah, I mean, so the climate stuff is really, really an Excell. Existential need for a pep talk. Right? It's. Cause it's not like, oh, the climate changed today, and now it's all wrong. It's the long term and the past. And I think thinking about ways that you can be a part of making little decisions that are helpful and being part of the bigger movement, I find that always to like, kind of hitch your, you know, to sketch on the back of. To use kind of a dirtbag tween term. Did you have that where you would like. You'd like, hold a bike or a skateboard or something, and you'd be on the back of a car that was moving anyway. Don't do that. But just to the back of a movement. And that I think can be really, really helpful to like, get plugged in and really do what you can to make a difference. Weather anxiety. I fully understand. Last week I was gonna say I was at the airport for 11 hours, but that's not true. I was at both New York airports. Cause I drove from one to the other. I got in a cab to try to make a flight. Cause my flights kept getting canceled and I had to make a work engagement and I missed it. I fully missed it. I was at the airport all day. Missed the work thing, but they made do without me. And I think that is like, so helpful to remember is that like in the face of natural disasters, acts of God or whoever, storm systems, high pressure, low pressure, whatever higher power you believe in, you don't always matter that much. And it's okay if you're late and it's stressful, but you can let that go and it's probably gonna be fine. Or it'll be annoying and then slightly less fine, and then fine. It's hard to see the future. It's hard to see the future. But I do Think sitting in it and going, this is bad, but it doesn't actually matter. And unlike a long term diet, right, this will be over. You're not gonna get stuck waiting for Godot at the airport. You're not Tom Hanks in the terminal. You'll get to where you're going, you'll get out of the city and then you can then kind of. And while you're waiting, if you're stuck in one place, unable to get to the other, you can do a little reading on climate science and how to subvert the oncoming climate apocalypse.

Kusha Navadar (10:08)

So, Rachel, we hope that alleviated your story, stress your anxiety a little bit. Let's go to another caller. We've got Claire in Brooklyn. Claire, you're on with Josh Gondolman. What's up? Hey, Claire, you're there? I think Claire might.

Claire (10:21)

I was muted. Hello?

Kusha Navadar (10:22)

Hey, Claire, how you doing? What's up?

Rachel (10:25)

Hey.

Claire (10:26)

I'm standing next to my roommate Rose, and we are calling in to get a pep talk because we quit smoking about four days ago.

Josh Gondelman (10:32)

Wow, congrats. That's amazing. That's so huge. Four days is like a big piece of time to have quit smoking already. Like, I imagine you have had an irritable four days and hopefully you're coming on the other side of it and that rules. That's like a great thing to quit. And it feels so good. Like, I think there's. We're always encouraged to like, do stuff right, like, oh, do this, do that. That'll make your life better. But if you can not do something that's making your life worse, that is a way to improve things just by sitting still. And that's incredible.

Kusha Navadar (11:08)

Claire, how does that make you feel hearing that? And you and your roommate?

Claire (11:13)

You know, I think that we are really angry and like scaring each other. But that felt good to hear. We're still in the irritable phase. I love that you're not quite long enough to feel good about it.

Josh Gondelman (11:25)

I love that you have each other in a way that is supportive, but also you are both equally at each other's throats. Because I do think two people quitting smoking kind of deserve each other's antagonism so you're not projecting it outward. And I think that's so beautiful that you've given each other the gift of being irritable together during this upsetting time.

Kusha Navadar (11:46)

Claire, thanks so much for that call. Congrats to you and your roommate. We hope that four days goes much further in the future. Here's a text for you On a lighter note, I have started playing softball again after nearly 20 years off. I was pretty good in my 30s. Now I am disappointed and embarrassed by my play and inclined to give up. Josh, can you pet me up?

Josh Gondelman (12:07)

Okay. This is a great place to be because going from not playing to playing is the big step. I'm such a. I used to play a lot of basketball. I was fine. Now I'm horrendous, and it stops me from playing. And so I will. I get my energy up to, like, shoot baskets by myself and hope no teens make fun of my jump shot across the court. And you've crossed the bridge, and now you're doing it. And because you had these skills and maybe you've let them go a little rusty, maybe you're not as fleet of foot or quick of reflexes as you were 20 years ago. These skills will come back, and you're gonna feel that growth, which is the best feeling. Going from like, ooh, I'm not as good as I used to be, to like, oop, it's all coming back to me now. To quote the great Celine Dion. And so I think that you're, like, you're in the part right before it gets good.

Kusha Navadar (13:02)

You're about to hit that growth curve. Just rediscovering what you already have.

Josh Gondelman (13:06)

It's so co. Because you have it in you, and it's gonna start emerging even if you never hit the peak that you hit before. Not everything you do is gonna be the best thing you ever do. Is something I yell at myself in the mirror every day, not Celine Dion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, she's back singing again.

Kusha Navadar (13:24)

She is back singing.

Josh Gondelman (13:25)

Maybe I could pidge it to her. Absolutely. Get Celine on the horn. But I think getting to figuring out the new top of your ability and getting from here to there is going to feel excellent.

Kusha Navadar (13:40)

Thank you so much for that text. Happy softball playing. Let's go to Brian in New Jersey. Hey, Brian. Welcome to the show.

Brian (13:49)

Hi, Josh. Thanks for taking my call. I'm calling on behalf of my wife, whose birthday it happens to be today, and I think she could use a pep talk because she's not feeling connected to her friends and her community.

Josh Gondelman (14:02)

Oh, that's such a difficult feeling. Well, first of all, happy birthday. And, Brian, it's so kind of you to call on her behalf. That's like, a really beautiful impulse to have, is to look out for your partner in that way. That is such a tough feeling to feel adrift. I am a big shoot your shot person. I don't mean for this to be advicey. Cause I don't feel qualified to give advice because I don't know anything. But I do think that it's that when you feel unplugged from a community that you once felt more tapped into, I think you can be that source of change. Like, I think everybody has a little bit of wanting people to reach out to them and to feel that, like, ooh, we can't wait till you're back in the fold. But I think, like, she can do it. And almost never is it that people don't want to hang out with you if they're your friends or don't want to hear from you. It's like they're busy. And I think the idea of other people, people that you love, are glad to hear from you is a nice way to remember that, like, just because you haven't heard from them, like when you haven't talked in a while, that's a two way street and you can drive down that street. In the way you're facing, this metaphor really falls apart. But I do think, like, they want to hear from you probably. Otherwise you wouldn't say, like, friends and community. You'd be estranged from her horrible former friends who, you know, burned our house down after a mahjong incident.

Kusha Navadar (15:38)

And there are actionable steps that you can take.

Josh Gondelman (15:39)

Yeah, I think, like, it's right there in front of you and like it feels bad to fall out of touch and those threads that like, connect us kind of fray and you drift apart from one another. But like, it's always reparable, especially when it's. There hasn't been a blow up and it's just kind of like the ravages of time and the oppression of schedule.

Kusha Navadar (16:02)

Brian, thank you so much for that call. We hope that's helpful. We hope you're pepped up. This is a good text. I feel really sweaty and humid and want to go ride my bike today, but I don't feel it today. Motivate me to go out and ride my bike. Jack in Brooklyn. What do you say to Jack?

Josh Gondelman (16:16)

Jack, you can be sweaty and humid sitting at home or you can be sweaty and humid getting on your bike and getting it done. You're not going to. If you feel bad sitting still, what is there to lose? It's all, all bad. The humidity is 10,000% today. The. The last yesterday it was pouring. This didn't used to be August. We're not used to it. I'm sorry to contribute to. Was it Rachel's climate anxiety that's right. That's right. But go out and do it like it already stinks. Just like, push through the stink. Double down on the stink. The shower will feel incredible.

Kusha Navadar (16:47)

Double down on the stink. Josh Gonzelman. Not Celine Dion.

Josh Gondelman (16:50)

Not Celine Dion. She could sing it. I feel like she could get over with almost any lyric. If she, like, really belted Double on the Stink, people would cry. James Cameron would start writing Titanic 2.

Kusha Navadar (17:04)

Let's go to Linda in Westchester. Linda, what's up?

Linda (17:09)

Hi. I have so many things that I need you to please spell Josh's last name because I'm going to stalk him. Because I need a pep talk every day. Is it Gosselman?

Kusha Navadar (17:19)

Sorry. Go ahead.

Josh Gondelman (17:20)

You gonelman. G O N D E L. Man.

Linda (17:23)

You'Re going to get to know me really well. So my thing today is hopefully not too dark. Okay. But I did something that is irrevocable, that is possibly the biggest regret of my life that I did yesterday. And it's really, really not revocable. And it is gonna hurt someone else. And I don't know how to, like, I've always lived my life to kind of avoid regret. And this one is a big one. And it was totally my screw up, and I could have avoided it and I didn't. And I don't know how to deal with that.

Kusha Navadar (18:05)

And Linda, what would be the thing that you would want to get motivated about? Is it figuring out what that next step is, or is there a specific step you would want to take?

Linda (18:14)

I think how to accept that people screw up. And I don't screw up very often. And so I don't know how to. I don't even know how to ask the question. I don't know how to accept that in myself. And how to move on, I guess.

Josh Gondelman (18:36)

Yeah, I mean, it sounds like you're really doing a good job of, like, feeling where you are and taking accountability for your actions and like, acknowledging that this was something you did and that you can't necessarily turn it around, but you can. You. You can know the impact of your actions and understand how to move forward. And I think this is like a really. Where you're calling from is like a really. A really hard place to feel and a tough place to be, knowing that, like, you're. You're kind of. I mean, I say this, this is me giving advice to me. But, like, when you get into that position, you can really start to flail. But everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has done things that are not fixable. This is not like a unique badness that is intrinsic to you. This is part of the human experience. And I think, like, feeling that and really like allowing yourself the grace of knowing that you're not, like, a uniquely terrible person who failed in a unique and unprecedented way, and that this is part of life and that whatever happens on the other side of this, you. You now have this information and this knowledge of self to hopefully, you know, do better in the future and maybe mend fences once the dust has settled. You know, I don't think even if the thing that happened is irrevocable and immutable, that doesn't mean that everything's bad forever or that you're bad forever, or even that you're a bad person now.

Kusha Navadar (20:18)

And that you're not alone. Right.

Josh Gondelman (20:19)

And that you're not alone. We're talking to you right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's lots. I think there's. And I imagine there are the people in your life. I mean, maybe there's somebody. It sounds like there's somebody that you may have hurt in this situation, but there are other people in your life who love and care about you and understand that mistakes happen, and that just because you make them doesn't mean that. That you need to kind of bear this burden by yourself, walking around solitarily forever.

Kusha Navadar (20:44)

That's a great point, Linda. Thank you so much for calling. Thank you for sharing with us. Thank you for trusting us. We're thinking of you both, Josh and I, and there is a way forward. We've got just a little bit of time left. We got just, like, a minute, so Dominique in Smithtown, I'm gonna come to you. You got 30 seconds. Go ahead.

Dominique (21:04)

Hi, thanks for taking my call. Longtime listener, first time caller type of situation here. But I have a date tonight with a guy that I've liked for a really long time. We've had, like, a friendship for the past, like, four years where we get together some nights and go get drinks and whatnot. He said he wants to go out in Flatiron tonight, and I'm kind of wanting to make him know that, like, I like him and that I want this to be, like, more of, like, a date, more of, like a intimate situation. But. But I'm really nervous, and I always totally flunk the assignment when I get around him.

Kusha Navadar (21:40)

So you want some pep for how to get ready to ask the question? Josh, go ahead.

Josh Gondelman (21:45)

This is great. Okay, so you're in a great situation. You have a friend that you really like spending time with. And the only thing that if you can make this Friendship additive. Right. You could add this romantic element to it or you can shoot your shot and it doesn't go that way. And all you're left with, I feel like just friends is like the wrong term for that because friends are, that's like the best. And so, like, you have a friend and if this person, you and this person have a great relationship, you know, you'll. It'll be a temporary discomfort if it doesn't go the way you want. But it, it, you will maintain, you can maintain this friendship if it is a true and good friendship. And then you'll find romance elsewhere.

Kusha Navadar (22:25)

Dominique, we hope that that is helpful for you. I hope the date goes really well. There are so many more calls and texts that are coming in. I guess that this, this was a good area for us to. One text here that I think a lot of people feel that I just want to read to you, Josh. It just says two words, thank you, and then there's two exclamation points.

Josh Gondelman (22:43)

Oh, that's great.

Kusha Navadar (22:44)

Yeah.

Josh Gondelman (22:44)

Thank you.

Kusha Navadar (22:45)

Thank you so much. Josh Gondelman, for. I'm going to give you a little pep talk for your, your empathy, your kindness, your sharp wit for bringing up Celine Dion. We really appreciate it. We've been talking to Josh Gondelman for. I'm going to give you a little pep talk for your, your empathy, your kindness, your sharp wit for bringing up Celine Dion. We really appreciate it. We've been talking to Josh Gondelman. Go see him in person on August 16th at Young Ethel's in Brooklyn. On August 17th, opening for Natasha Vaynblatt in Union Hall. His latest newsletter is called that's Marvelous. It's about pep talks and general enthusiasm. Josh, thanks so much.

Josh Gondelman (23:17)

Thanks for having me. This is a pleasure.

Uncle (23:20)

I'm gonna put you on, Nephew.

Josh Gondelman (23:21)

All right, Unc. Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order, miss?

Uncle (23:24)

I've been hitting up McDonald's for years. Now it's back. We need snack wraps. What's a snack wrap? It's the return of something. And great.

Josh Gondelman (23:32)

Snack Wrap is back.

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