Podcast Summary: "Niko Case Looked Back At Her Childhood In Order To Move Forward"
All Of It is a captivating episode of WNYC’s culture-focused podcast, ALL OF IT, hosted by Alison Stewart. In this deeply personal and insightful conversation, musician and author Nico Case delves into her tumultuous upbringing, her journey through music and writing, and the profound experiences that shaped her memoir, The Harder I Fight, the More I Love You. The episode, released on January 28, 2025, offers listeners an intimate look into Nico’s life, blending themes of resilience, creativity, and healing.
Introduction to Nico Case and Her Memoir
The episode opens with Alison Stewart introducing Nico Case, highlighting her unique musical talents and the compelling nature of her memoir:
Alison Stewart [00:00]: “Musician Nico Case got her start playing drums, then learned guitar. But the instrument you probably know her from is her voice. It's clear and fierce and imposing, and you combine it with her lyrical and enigmatic songwriting.”
Nico Case’s memoir, The Harder I Fight, the More I Love You, is described as a raw and honest exploration of her challenging childhood and the transformative power of music.
Connection Between Memoir and Music
Alison inquires about the relationship between the memoir's title and Nico’s 2013 album:
Alison Stewart [01:58]: “The title of your memoir recalls the title of your 2013 album, The Worse Things Get, the Harder I Fight, the More I Love You. Is there a connection between the memoir and that record?”
Nico confirms the connection, explaining the collaborative decision with her editor:
Nico Case [02:10]: “In a way, yes... Colin Dickerman, who is my main editor at Grand Central in Hechet, he said that he thought it would be a good idea... I was like, you know what? I concur. You're right. That's the right title.”
Navigating a Difficult Childhood
Nico opens up about her upbringing, marked by emotional neglect and instability:
Nico Case [03:11]: “I usually describe it as pretty difficult. There was lots of joy, too. But, you know, raising yourself as a kid is not preferable.”
She discusses the lack of parental support and the isolation she felt as a child, emphasizing the impact of having teenage parents who were largely disinterested in parenting.
Developing Coping Mechanisms and Self-Understanding
The conversation shifts to Nico’s realization of her loneliness and her path to self-expression through music:
Nico Case [04:23]: “I can describe it pretty accurately... I've been talking to my dear friends about it for a really long time. So, you know, that combined with years of therapy...”
She reflects on how writing the memoir served as a way to organize her thoughts, even if it didn't bring immediate revelations:
Nico Case [04:27]: “I can put the brick on the shelf like a hard drive. And so now that information is right there where I need it, but it doesn't have to be floating around in my brain.”
Complex Relationship with Her Parents
Nico candidly discusses her strained relationship with her parents, particularly her mother:
Nico Case [05:27]: “My dad was incredibly sad, pretty much really depressed.”
Nico Case [05:36]: “I would describe my mom as a grifter.”
She elaborates on the manipulative and calculating nature of her mother, leading to a complete severance of ties:
Nico Case [06:14]: “I haven't had a relationship with my mom in years and years and years. Like, I cut off ties a long time ago.”
Revelation of Her Mother’s Faked Death
A significant and shocking revelation in the memoir is discussed, with Nico confirming the faked death of her mother:
Nico Case [07:25]: “Yes. Spoiler coming up. Turn away.”
Alison steers the conversation to this pivotal moment:
Alison Stewart [07:25]: “In the book, we learn that your mother has faked her death.”
Nico recounts the emotional turmoil of discovering her mother’s deceit:
Nico Case [07:50]: “...she didn't want me so badly that she decided to, you know, just end her current life and go elsewhere, which she did.”
Exploring the Theme of Forgiveness
Nico challenges conventional notions of forgiveness, arguing that it shouldn’t be seen as an obligatory act:
Nico Case [09:41]: “Forgiveness is something that people really encourage us to do when we have been traumatized by someone... But if you can't find it in yourself to forgive someone, it's not your job to work at it to forgive them.”
She expresses skepticism about societal pressures to forgive abusers, emphasizing authentic and organic forgiveness when it truly happens.
Journey Through Music and Education
The discussion moves to Nico’s pursuit of music amidst societal expectations:
Nico Case [11:37]: “I would never let myself have that lightning bolt. It would kind of... I grew up a female in America in the 70s and 80s and nobody expected anything of us.”
Nico shares her struggle with ADHD and the profound impact its diagnosis had on her academic and professional life:
Nico Case [14:50]: “At 19, I was diagnosed with ADHD and I was put on Ritalin, and I was in junior college at that time... I can describe it pretty accurately.”
Dealing with Loss and Rebuilding
Nico opens up about the devastating house fire in 2017 and the subsequent challenges in rebuilding her life:
Nico Case [15:56]: “I'm obsessed. And that is a very normal trait for kids who've had a lot of trauma in their childhood... My house burned down in 2017.”
She discusses the emotional and logistical hurdles she faces, including dealing with depression and the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic:
Nico Case [17:12]: “There's always goodness and there's always light... nobody was hurt.”
Nico offers heartfelt advice to others facing similar disasters, emphasizing the importance of community and self-compassion.
Humor Amidst Hardship
Despite the heavy themes, Nico highlights the humor found in her past experiences, making her story relatable and multifaceted:
Nico Case [21:21]: “There's so much to find funny that I still laugh about now... like, my friend Nate, he's like, yeah, I had a house that only had three walls and the fourth wall was a sheet.”
Influence of Other Artists and Creative Processes
Nico expresses admiration for fellow musicians and authors, citing Ricky Lee Jones as an inspiration:
Nico Case [22:15]: “She's such an incredible writer... her memoir reads like a novel. You can't put it down.”
She contrasts songwriting with memoir writing, noting the differences in creative expression:
Nico Case [23:18]: “I didn't set out to write a memoir. I've been working on a book of fiction for years... talking about myself is weird.”
Upcoming Projects and Musical Endeavors
The conversation touches on Nico’s current and future projects, including her involvement in a musical adaptation of Thelma and Louise:
Nico Case [25:36]: “Yes. Callie is writing the story, and I'm writing the songs for a musical version of Thelma and Louise.”
She also reveals details about her upcoming album, emphasizing her commitment to authentic sound through live instrumentation:
Nico Case [26:11]: “I hired an orchestra. I wanted it to be as much live human being sounds as possible... I found it very moving.”
Nico explains her dedication to preserving the integrity of live music, contrasting it with modern trends that often prioritize digital sounds over genuine live performances.
Conclusion and Upcoming Events
Alison Stewart wraps up the episode by promoting Nico’s upcoming conversation with author Emma Straub at a Brooklyn venue and highlights Nico's website for more information:
Alison Stewart [28:18]: “She'll be in conversation tonight with Emma Straub at 7pm at the First Unitarian Congregational Society in Brooklyn. Nico, thank you for joining us.”
Nico expresses gratitude and enthusiasm for her continued artistic journey:
Nico Case [28:32]: “Thank you so much for having me.”
Final Thoughts
This episode of ALL OF IT masterfully intertwines Nico Case’s personal history with her creative pursuits, offering listeners a profound understanding of how her early life challenges fueled her artistic endeavors. Through candid storytelling and reflective insights, Nico Case not only shares her struggles but also her triumphs, providing inspiration and solace to those navigating similar paths. The inclusion of notable quotes with timestamps enhances the narrative, allowing listeners to engage deeply with the pivotal moments of Nico’s story.
For more information about Nico Case and her projects, visit nicocase.com.