'Patrice' Documentary Follows One Jersey Couple's Fight for Nuptial Rights

Summary

All Of It: 'Patrice' Documentary Follows One Jersey Couple's Fight for Nuptial Rights

Host: Alison Stewart
Episode Release Date: December 26, 2024
Streaming Platform: Hulu
Nomination: Independent Spirit Award for Best Documentary Director

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Introduction to 'Patrice'

In this heartfelt episode of All Of It, Alison Stewart delves into the compelling world of independent cinema by spotlighting the documentary 'Patrice'. The film chronicles the lives of Patrice Jeter and her longtime partner Gary, both in their 50s and navigating the complexities of relationships and disability rights in New Jersey.

Meet Patrice Jeter and Gary

Patrice Jeter is introduced as a multifaceted individual—a dedicated school crossing guard, a stylish dresser, a train enthusiast, figure skater, girlfriend, and a passionate advocate for disability rights (00:16). Her partner, Gary, who has cerebral palsy, is affectionately described by Patrice as "a big magnet for people" and "hands down the most famous cross guard in Hamilton Township," likening her popularity to that of Madonna (01:08).

The film portrays their daily lives, highlighting their deep bond as they share meals, go swimming, and bring joy to each other despite living in separate towns approximately 20 minutes apart. Their profound love leads them to dream of marriage, a decision fraught with the risk of losing essential disability benefits like Social Security and Medicaid.

Behind the Scenes: Conversation with the Creators

Alison Stewart sits down with Ted Passin, the writer and producer, and Patrice Jeter, who also co-wrote the film, to explore the origins and development of 'Patrice'.

Ted Passin shares, "The first time I met Patrice, I realized that she was awesome immediately... We discovered that Patrisse is extremely comfortable on camera, which made the collaboration enjoyable and natural" (02:53). The catalyst for the film was Gary's proposal to Patrice, unaware of the implications it would have on their benefits.

Patrice Jeter reflects on her desire to encapsulate her life's stories, stating, "I wanted to put something with all aspects of my life from growing up... I wanted to incorporate those stories in the movie because one day, I'm not going to be here to tell them to people" (04:10). Her intention was to create a comprehensive narrative that includes her mother's perspective, showcasing the events shaping her identity.

Creative Storytelling and Visuals

The documentary employs a unique storytelling technique, featuring recreations of Patrice's life with young actors portraying various roles, including Patrice herself at different ages. Gary explains, "Sometimes they're playing her mom, sometimes they're playing a teacher... Patrice plays herself at various ages as well" (05:25).

Ted Passin elaborates on the creative choices: "We wanted to include Patrice's backstory and her artwork... Patrisse should probably draw the world. It should just be her design" (05:44). By integrating Patrice's artistic vision and utilizing children to portray other characters, the film balances light-heartedness with poignant commentary on systemic challenges.

Themes of Love and Systemic Barriers

A central theme of 'Patrice' is the struggle against a system that hinders personal relationships. Ted Passin emphasizes, "This is people trying to overcome a system that was not built with them in mind... how do they, as a team, do the best they can given the unfair circumstances" (10:30). The documentary challenges traditional narratives in disability cinema by focusing not on overcoming disability but on battling systemic injustices.

Personal Anecdotes and Emotional Depth

Clips from the film reveal intimate moments, such as Gary expressing his frustration about potentially losing benefits if they marry:

Gary (12:15): "For me, personally, I have several palsy. I was born with the Medicare and Medicaid thing. I have to have it Right. I mean, we'd never be able to pay for the bills."

Patrice (12:30): "Well, they don't care. It's just simple as that."

These candid exchanges highlight the emotional toll of navigating love within restrictive legal frameworks.

Misconceptions About Disability

Patrice Jeter addresses common misunderstandings, stating, "One of the major misconceptions is it's not as easy as folks think it is... I'm constantly on this hamster wheel that you can't seem to get off of or get ahead" (13:21). The film sheds light on the daily struggles faced by individuals with disabilities, emphasizing the continuous effort required to maintain financial stability.

Impact and Advocacy

Ted Passin hopes that 'Patrice' will contribute to legislative changes, noting, "I think Patrice and Gary have what everybody wants to find... The idea that these two people who love each other so much would be prevented from getting married... is just maddening" (09:47).

Patrice echoes this sentiment, expressing her aspiration for the film to "help bring change... so that all of my friends will be able to get married and go to everybody's wedding and have a good time" (15:06).

Conclusion

Alison Stewart concludes the episode by emphasizing the significance of 'Patrice' in the landscape of independent film and disability advocacy. She hints at upcoming discussions on other independent films, promising listeners a continued exploration of diverse cultural narratives.

'Patrice' is now available for streaming on Hulu, offering audiences a profound look into the lives of two individuals striving for love and recognition within a system that often overlooks their humanity.

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Key Quotes and Timestamps

• Patrice Jeter (00:42): "I am a totally cool person with a disability who could do most anything with the exception of bungee jumping, pyro technics and uber dangerous stunts..."

• Gary (01:11): "She is hands down the most famous cross guard in Hamilton Township. She might as well be Madonna."

• Patrice Jeter (04:10): "I wanted to put something with all aspects of my life from growing up... I wanted to incorporate those stories in the movie..."

• Ted Passin (10:30): "This is people trying to overcome a system that was not built with them in mind... how do they, as a team, do the best they can given the unfair circumstances..."

• Gary (12:15): "For me, personally, I have several palsy. I was born with the Medicare and Medicaid thing..."

• Patrice Jeter (13:21): "One of the major misconceptions is it's not as easy as folks think it is... I'm constantly on this hamster wheel..."

• Patrice Jeter (15:06): "I'm hoping that this movie will help bring change... so that all of my friends will be able to get married and go to everybody's wedding and have a good time."

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About 'All Of It'

All Of It is a WNYC show dedicated to exploring culture in all its facets. Hosted by Alison Stewart, the show engages creators, thinkers, and community members to discuss the "what and why" behind their work, fostering a diverse and passionate community centered around cultural conversations.

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Transcript

[WNYC Studios]

Listener support, WNYC Studios.

[Alison Stewart]

This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. We're celebrating independent films today on All of it with some of the conversations we've had with the people who made them. Now we'll turn to a documentary titled the Movie. Patrice Jetter is an excellent school crossing guard, a natty dresser, a train collector, figure skater, a girlfriend, and an advocate for disability rights.

[Patrice Jeter]

Hi, my name is Patrice. I am a totally cool person with a disability who could do most anything with the exception of bungee jumping, pyro technics and uber dangerous stunts, because then I need a stunt double for that.

[Gary]

Patrice is a big magnet for people.

She is hands down the most famous cross guard in Hamilton Township. She might as well be Madonna.

[Alison Stewart]

That was Gary, her longtime partner, and he has cerebral palsy. The film shows the couple who are Both in their 50s, in their day to day life. They share meals together, go swimming, make each other laugh all the time. Patrice and Gary spend time together almost every day. However, they live in separate towns about 20 minutes away. That's important because while the couple dreams of getting married, doing so would put them both at risk of losing their disability benefits. This includes Social Security, Medicaid, and help with basic needs. Despite the challenges, the two of them decide to proceed with a commitment ceremony. But roadblocks pop up along the way. The movie is now streaming on Hulu and most recently, it has been nominated for an Independent Spirit Award for Best Documentary director. Writer and producer Ted Passen and the star herself, who is also a writer on the film, Patrice Jeter, joined me to discuss the film a few months ago. I started the conversation by asking how Patrisse met Ted. Take a listen.

[Patrice Jeter]

I was introduced to ted more than 20 years ago by my niece, Kimya Dawson. And Kimya is an awesome musician with the moldy peaches. And she got her big break when she did the soundtrack for the Juno movie.

[Alison Stewart]

I know her from the Way Back machine.

[Gary]

Holy cow. That's really. That's awesome. Ted, when did you realize that Patrisse's story would make a really interesting movie?

[Ted Passin]

Well, you know, the first time I met Patrice, I realized that she was awesome immediately, as I think anyone does and always had it in the back of my head that it'd be great to do something together. We didn't do that until around 2021. I worked on a series for Netflix called Warren Stories that was created by one of our producers on this, Emily Spivak. And we discovered that Patrisse is extremely comfortable on camera, as it turns out, which is not a shocker. And it was so fun working together. And we just kind of felt like, okay, maybe there's just something more to do. Let's talk about it. And as we were kind of thinking about what might be a story worth covering from Patrice's life right at that time, Gary asked her to marry him. And I did not know at the time that if you are disabled and you're collecting benefits and you get married, that you will likely lose those benefits. And so that. That really seemed like, okay, that's. That's the story that we're here to tell, and we should. We should be following that Patrisse.

[Alison Stewart]

When Ted said, okay, we're going to make a movie, what parts of your life that you really wanted to see on screen?

[Patrice Jeter]

I. I wanted to put something with all aspects of my life from growing up, because at the age of 50, I had some pretty interesting stories to tell. So I had started trying to put the stories in a graphic novel, because as outrageous as some of the stories are, you need the pictures to go with them, because then it makes it funnier. Some of the stuff wasn't funny at the time it was going on, but if you know how to tell it, it can make people laugh. And when we started coming together to do this, we wanted to incorporate those stories in the movie, because one day, I'm not going to be here to tell them to people. And we, of course, had to include my mom in. And I wanted it done from all sides, so that it wasn't just from my side, but it was also from my mom's side. And the events that led up to what made me Patrisse today.

[Alison Stewart]

Let's talk about that.

[Gary]

Ted.

[Alison Stewart]

These recreations from Patrisse's life, they feature Patrice, and sometimes they have little kids playing different ages.

[Gary]

Sometimes they're playing her mom, sometimes they're playing a teacher. Patrisse plays herself at various ages as well. When did the idea for recreating these moments come from?

[Ted Passin]

Well, it was, you know, we knew we wanted to include Patrice's backstory, and in trying to figure out how we were going to visualize that, we knew that we also needed to get Patrice's artwork into the film. She's a phenomenal artist, and her aesthetic is so strong, and the film had to see the world in that way. And so at some point, the idea was, well, Patrisse should probably draw the world. It should just be her design. And so we kind of started with the idea of her designing the sets and placing her in that world as herself. And Patrisse also used to have a kids television show on public access years ago for kids, and she loves kids and loves being around them. And, you know, as we were trying to figure out how do we also mimic Patrisse's storytelling style where she can tell you something really dark but keep it funny? We kind of realized that if we had kids playing all of the other parts in this world, that that would allow us to kind of keep it light while at the same time also kind of providing kind of a sneaky gut punch. Because when you kind of hear some of these things in the system coming out of the mouths of children, you really kind of get a stronger emotional sense of how inhumane the system is when you put it up against the innocence of a child.

[Alison Stewart]

Let's let people hear this a little bit. This is from the clip from the movie Patrice, the movie where she's telling a story about her mom. Let's listen.

[Patrice Jeter]

Before I was born, mom always dreamed of being a dancer, but she had to do other jobs instead. Mom used to work in Willowbrook Hospital. It was a notorious institution where they used to keep people with developmental disabilities. And it wasn't a nice place. My mom couldn't take it. She quit. Mom knew that I could end up in one of those places, and she always got worried when I attracted too much attention to myself.

She did what?

And I was good at that.

[Gary]

Patrice, how did not talking about your disability shape how you were treated by teachers and other kids?

[Patrice Jeter]

Well, one of the problems was that no matter how much you tried to hide or mask something, other people pick up on it, and they don't buy it. It's. It's almost like in the. The Christmas special, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, when his dad put that cap on his nose to try to hide it and thought nobody would notice. But eventually, people notice when you're trying to hide something, and it always comes out.

[Gary]

My guests are Patrice Jeter and Ted Pass, and we're talking about Patrice the Movie. It's streaming now on Hulu. A big part of the film is your relationship with Gary. Patrice, how did you and Gary become friends? Just friends first?

[Patrice Jeter]

Well, me and Gary met over 35 years ago in a sheltered workshop for people with disabilities. And our personalities just matched. We just clicked. And we would make each other laugh, even at work. It got to the point that the supervisor would separate us and put us on opposite sides of the room, and we would still make each other laugh.

[Alison Stewart]

Ted when you saw Patrisse and Gary together, what did you want to show about their friendship and also about their relationship?

[Ted Passin]

Well, honestly, I think Patrisse and Gary just love each other so much and so openly and so authentically that, you know, I think they have what I think everybody wants to find. And just being around a relationship like that, honestly, I could even just say for me personally, it kind of fills you with hope that that is possible and it just kind of makes you feel better about the world. And the idea that these two people who love each other so much would be prevented from getting married or even just living together by a system that professes to help them is just maddening.

[Alison Stewart]

Talk a little bit about the benefit situation. It's so. It's frustrating. Two people who love each other so much, they can't even move in together, they can't get married, they might lose their Social Security benefits. How did you think about incorporating that in the film? Because it could become sort of the focus of the film. But it is, but it isn't.

[Ted Passin]

Yeah. I mean, in some ways, I think, like, you know, we consider this film kind of in a. Kind of this like, maybe part of new wave of disability cinema, starting with like Crip camp and I didn't see you there and Coda or, you know, there was a lot of. Lot of tropes in stories about disabled people, especially when non disabled people make the stories where you have a. You usually have a story where somebody is overcoming their disability. And that's not what this is. This is people trying to overcome a system that was not built with them in mind. And so the idea is that, like, you know, this, you know, so much in the system is really just getting in the way of the simple, basic things that they're trying to have in their life, including loving each other, being together, but also just daily survival every single day. And so, you know, we wanted to acknowledge it as. As the heart of the conflict of the story, but at the end of the day, it's about how the two of them deal with it. You know, that's like our main focus. It's like, you know, how do they, as a team, as two people who love each other, do the best they can given the unfair circumstances that they've been thrown into?

[Alison Stewart]

Yeah. Let's listen to this clip from the film. This is Gary sharing his frustrations about potentially losing benefits for getting married. This is from Patrice, the movie.

[Gary]

For me, personally, I have several palsy. I was born with the Medicare and Medicaid thing. I have to have it Right. I mean, we'd never be able to pay for the bills.

[Patrice Jeter]

Well, they don't care. It's just simple as that.

[Gary]

It's just not right. They punish you for feeling feelings that everybody else feels, and it's like, oh, you're disabled. You're not like everybody else.

Patrisse, tell us some major misconceptions that people have about disabled.

[Alison Stewart]

People who want to be together, want.

[Gary]

To have their own rights.

[Patrice Jeter]

Well, one of the major misconceptions is it's not as easy as folks think it is. A lot of folks don't even know what a person like myself goes through on a regular basis.

[Alison Stewart]

They.

[Patrice Jeter]

They don't know that I have restrictions on the amount of money that I'm allowed to make. And you're constantly, always trying to make sure you have enough for living from paycheck to paycheck, and folks don't understand that I'm doing everything that I can, but no matter what I do, because of the cost of living, the amount of utilities, the amount of food, you're already in a negative balance every month, and you're constantly on this hamster wheel that you can't seem to get off of or get ahead.

[Gary]

We're talking about the movie. You can stream it now on Hulu. My guest is Patrice Jeter and the film's director, Ted Passin.

[Alison Stewart]

Ted, and please correct me if I'm wrong. I watched the film, and I'm, you know, I'm not sure Patrisse's disability is mentioned in the film. Was that intentional?

[Ted Passin]

Yeah, so there's actually, you know, it's one. It's not like it's a secret or anything, but the reason we didn't do it is just because there is. There is a new movement in the disability world to just not assume automatic disclosure of one's disability. And so in the spirit of that, we kind of made a decision as we were telling the story of the film that we would only kind of disclose somebody's disability if it was organically related to the story and it was something that was necessary to know. And then if not, then we just. Then we just left it out.

[Alison Stewart]

Patrisse, what are you hoping lawmakers will do to. To make the lives of you and your fellow disabled people to just make their lives easier.

[Patrice Jeter]

I'm hoping that this movie will help bring change, because I know that some of my fellow disabled friends have been trying for years to get this law changed and that maybe this movie will give a boost to help that along. And then not only will we be able to get married? So will all of my friends. And we'll be able to go to everybody's wedding and have a good time.

[Alison Stewart]

That was my conversation with director Ted Passen and Patrisse Jetter about the movie. And that is all of it for this hour. Stay tuned because next hour we'll continue bringing you conversations about some of our favorite independent films released this year. Coming up, we'll talk about the comedy action film Thelma, the SNL origin film Saturday Night and the sci fi thriller I Saw the TV Glow. That's all on the way. This is all of it.

[WNYC Studios]

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