← All Of It with Alison Stewart
All Of It with Alison Stewart
Taking a 'Leap' on Leap Day
00:20:47
If you could take a "leap" in your life on Leap Day today...what would it be?
Loading summary
Transcript90 lines
- [00:00]
Dr. Horton Advertiser
Your new beginning starts now. Dr. Horton has new construction homes available in Ellensburg and throughout the greater Seattle area. With spacious floor plans, flexible living spaces and home technology packages, you can enjoy more cozy moments and sweet memories in your beautiful new home. With new home communities opening in Ellensburg and throughout the Seattle area, Dr. Horton has the ideal home for you. Learn more@drhorton.com.au Dr. Horton, America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder.
- [00:31]
McDonald's Customer
I'mma put you on, nephew.
- [00:33]
Matt Katz
All right, unc. Welcome to McDonald's.
- [00:34]
McDonald's Employee
Can I take your order, miss?
- [00:36]
McDonald's Customer
I've been hitting up McDonald's for years. Now it's back. We need snack wraps. What's a snack wrap? It's the return of something great. Snack wrap is back.
- [00:46]
McDonald's Employee
For 140 years, MultiCare has been in Washington prioritizing long term solutions, partnering with local communities and expanding access to care. Together, we're building a healthier future. Learn more@ multicare.org.
- [01:07]
Narrator/Frasier Crane Voice
Listener support WNYC Studios.
- [01:19]
Matt Katz
You're listening to all of it. I'm Matt Katz in in for Alison Stewart. I'm grateful you're spending part of your day with us. And if you're also a listener supporter, I'm especially grateful today given that it's our pledge drive. Thank you. Coming up on the show today, we'll have live Music in Studio 5. Author Sloan Crosley is here to talk about her new book, grief is for People. And it's Thursday, which means it's time for our Food for Thought series. Joining me are J. Kenji Lopez alt and Deb Pearlman, hosts of the new podcast the Recipe. That's the plan. So let's get this hour started with a conversation about how to spend your leap day. Today is leap day, where once every four years we get an extra 24 hours in February. Now, it is not a holiday, but it can still be a day for some inspiration. If you ever watched Frasier, the hit 90s early 2000s sitcom, you may remember season three, episode 16, when Frasier Crane gets inspired by Leap Day.
- [02:27]
Narrator/Frasier Crane Voice
Oh, dad. This birthday only comes around once every four years. As a matter of fact, this day only comes around once every four years. You know, it's like a free day, a gift. We should do something special. Be bold.
- [02:38]
Matt Katz
It's leap year.
- [02:39]
Narrator/Frasier Crane Voice
Take a leap. You know, I was just about to say the same thing to you.
- [02:46]
Matt Katz
Seattle's favorite radio psychiatrist then goes on the air and encourages his listeners to have the courage to take their own leap.
- [02:55]
Narrator/Frasier Crane Voice
Glorious. Good afternoon, Seattle. This is Dr. Fraser Crane. I'm thinking a lot today about leap year. Today is February 29th, and although it isn't an official holiday, perhaps it could be looked upon as one in a metaphorical sense. Just as Christmas reminds us to be generous of spirit, so leap year reminds us to take a leap in our own lives, to be bold, to try something new. Too often we shrink from doing things we really want to, held back by, oh, appearing foolish.
- [03:25]
Matt Katz
Perhaps.
- [03:26]
Narrator/Frasier Crane Voice
I'm reminded of a quotation by John Greenleaf Whittier for all sad words of tong or pen, the saddest of these it might have been.
- [03:34]
Matt Katz
The episode plays out like this. The show's main characters, encouraged by Frasier, all attempts leaps of their own. But the leaps of Niles, Marty, Roz, and Daphne all end up going horribly wrong. Frazier's leap is to break out of his own routine. Every year during the PBS Winter pledge drive, he sings a fun, easy tune, but this year he tells his listeners he's going to take a leap and sing a really difficult song. But in seeing the other characters leaps fell at the last minute, Frazier backs out. He doesn't take his own advice and sings his usual safe and easy song. What happens, though, as you'll hear, is that he forgets the words on live tv.
- [04:13]
Narrator/Frasier Crane Voice
Maestro, please. East is east and west is west and the wrong one I have chosen. Let's go where you'll keep on wearing those da da da boba dos and things and buttons and buttons and bows. Don't bury me with a flopping pee or something.
- [04:35]
McDonald's Customer
La la.
- [04:37]
Narrator/Frasier Crane Voice
That's all. Go to a taco show and.
- [04:44]
Chris Duffy
This.
- [04:44]
Matt Katz
Is one leap year doctor. Now, Frazier's leaps may not have worked out, but his message can still be true. The leap day can be a fun opportunity to try something new, to be bold, to finally do that thing you've been meaning to do for years, even in the face of fear and hesitation. Fortunately for you, I will not be singing today. But with me now to talk about taking a leap on leap day and take your calls is Chris Duffy, comedian and host of the podcast how to Be a Better Human. He's also kindly joining us while on paternity leave for his new baby. Hi, Chris. Welcome back. Welcome back to wnyc. And congratulations on the baby.
- [05:23]
Chris Duffy
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me on the show.
- [05:25]
Matt Katz
How old?
- [05:25]
Chris Duffy
I'm glad to be here on a real leap of a segment where we're recapping Frazier and then going for it.
- [05:30]
Matt Katz
Exactly right. Tell me how old the baby is.
- [05:33]
Chris Duffy
Before about to be three months. Oh, wow.
- [05:35]
Matt Katz
Oh, you're. You're fresh in it.
- [05:37]
Chris Duffy
Oh, we are. We're taking a leap by even scheduling being awake at any time during the day. You know, that's my leap for today.
- [05:43]
Matt Katz
Good for you nice listeners. Let's hear from you. Inspired by Dr. Frasier Crane, if you could, what kind of leap would you want to take in your life today on leap day or just this leap year? Maybe it's finally getting around to that thing you've been meaning to do for a while or pursuing a new hobby or putting yourself out there in any new way. Call us or text us 212-433-WNYC. That's 2124-3396-9221-2433, 9692. Do you have any traditions you do in the leap year comes around every four years. Were you actually born on February 29? How do you celebrate your birthday when it comes around 212433? WNYC. If you were to break out of your daily routine on Leap Day today, what would you want to do and why? Give us a call. You could also reach out to us on social media at all of it. Wnyc. So Chris, why do you think a leap day can be this opportunity for people to kind of reassess their life a bit or even just do something small that might be a little bit out of their comfort zone and try something new?
- [06:53]
Chris Duffy
Listen, I think it's so easy to get caught in routines and just doing the exact same thing day in and day out. And then next thing you know, you wake up and the month is over and then the year is over and time is just flowing by. So anytime there's something a little special and a little weird, a little different, even though we all know, right, February 29th is just another day, it doesn't feel like another day. It feels like a special little bonus. So that's a, that's a great opportunity to take advantage of that feeling, use it, put, put it towards something. I think that's a real, real fun possibility.
- [07:21]
Matt Katz
And, and there can be like positive effects on your mental and emotional well being, I guess if you try something new in general, anytime, let alone on leap day.
- [07:30]
Chris Duffy
Well, I love the challenge that a psychologist would have to like do a peer reviewed study on that because they would literally have to take 12 years to even get three shots at it. So I don't know how deep the research is on that, but if there's someone out there, bees, I admire your dedication to working only one day a year in academia for every four years that is a true leap of tenure.
- [07:50]
Matt Katz
Well beyond the study. And what do you think the benefits could be by just trying something new and taking that leap?
- [07:59]
Chris Duffy
I think one of the biggest benefits of trying something new and taking a leap is it creates a memory. Right. It's like a signpost in your mind of a time. I think we all know that you remember a trip or your first day in a new apartment or your first date. We remember those so much more than the 13th month that we lived in a place or the 30th meal that we ate with the person. So this is a chance to put one of those signposts in, to create a little marker in your brain and in your memory. And also, I am a big believer that if you let yourself surprise yourself, you might discover that you are not necessarily exactly the person that you've been telling yourself you are. Like a small example is, I am a. I'm colorblind. So I am very hesitant to try and take a fashion statement, because if I put on a color, I often am like, I think this is blue. And then someone goes, well, that is actually purple. And you are making a different statement than you think. And it clashes very hard.
- [08:59]
Matt Katz
Right.
- [08:59]
Chris Duffy
When I do wear. Wear non beige or gray outfits, I actually feel like, wow, this is. Is this me? Maybe this is the new Chris. Maybe he wears bold colors and it's fun. I'm not. I'm not wearing bold colors right now. But you never know. I could be that person someday.
- [09:16]
Matt (Caller)
Right? Right.
- [09:16]
Matt Katz
We got a text from a listener. The leap this listener or. Or she's gonna take is telling that amazing woman in my building that I am crazy about her.
- [09:27]
Chris Duffy
Wow. Wow. A leap that could go either way. I hope it goes well.
- [09:31]
Matt Katz
I mean, I hope it works. And if they were to get married, they would have to get married on leap day four years from now.
- [09:39]
Chris Duffy
You have to have your anniversary be leap day.
- [09:40]
Matt Katz
Oh, listener.
- [09:41]
Chris Duffy
And if it doesn't work and this person is not interested, you know, that is great. You just nod and never bring it up again. And then it will just be a slightly more awkward moment in the elevator for the rest of your time.
- [09:52]
Matt Katz
Right. So you. To move, you might have to take that leap and move to a different building. But if that works out, listener, you got to let us know. That's amazing. Chris and I want to go to the wedding. Listeners, if you could, what kind of leap would you want to take in your life today on leap Day? Break out of your daily routine.
- [10:11]
Matt (Caller)
Why?
- [10:12]
Matt Katz
What would it be? Give us a call 212-433. WNYC 212-433-9692. You can also text us at that number. And maybe you have a tradition when it comes to le year, every four years. Is your birthday today. That would be another great one. Give us a buzz. 212-433-9692. You know, Chris, we all procrastinate about different things, particularly, you know, goals in life are, are there things we always tell ourselves we want to get around to, but we procrastinate and put it off and like indefinitely. And why, why do we do that?
- [10:52]
Chris Duffy
Well, I mean, I know that I do that because it seems like if I put it off another day, it'll be easier and then I'll have more time. I'll be in the perfect headspace. I'll be inspired.
- [11:05]
Matt Katz
Right.
- [11:05]
Chris Duffy
And yet I think we've all had the experience of like checking something off your to do list that's been on there forever. And it feels so incredible. It's an incredible relief. So if you're the person who's been like, you know, I'll do that next year, I'll do that another year. I'll do that on February 29th with Justin come around very often. I think it's, it is one of those things where I think we're, we're kind of bad at predicting what makes us feel good. Like we think that not doing the thing that we're thinking about, oh, it'd be so good to just not. But in fact, doing it, tackling it is a huge sense of relief. So maybe this is, maybe this. We're trying to create a little holiday here where people take those things and actually just do them or take a leap and stop, stop pushing it off till tomorrow because this is a bonus tomorrow.
- [11:47]
Matt Katz
Right. I recently cleaned my oven like the, like the top of the, like took off all the things and cleaned out all the holes where the gas comes out. And it had been on my to do list for like three or four years, honestly. I mean, it was, it was a long time and it felt incredibly good. So maybe that's something, maybe something mundane could be done on leap day and give you that same sort of satisfaction crossing that thing off the to do list, even if it's something.
- [12:15]
Chris Duffy
Oh, absolutely. And also cleaning the top of an oven is it. What a wonderful jaunt down nostalgia of meals past where you get to see like, oh yeah, I ate pasta seven months ago. That's where one of those little pastas went.
- [12:26]
Matt Katz
Absolutely. Taking a leap on leap day. Could mean trying to do something more profound, like repairing a relationship in some way, maybe reach out to a friend you've lost contact with, maybe somebody you haven't spoken to in a while for whatever reason. Is there. Is there any advice you might have about trying to approach that kind of conversation if you wanted to call somebody or shoot somebody, attacks that you might have fallen out with for whatever reason back when?
- [12:58]
Chris Duffy
Yeah, you know, I don't know if it's exactly about people who fallen out with, but someone that you've lost touch with people a couple of times on. On the podcast how to Be a Better Human, we've interviewed psychologists or experts who have cited a number of different studies and research that show that we tend to overestimate how awkward it will be to reach out to someone and tend to underestimate how happy they will be to hear from us. And so one of the really consistent things that I've heard from people about how to improve your day and how to build a bigger network of friends and people who you can reach out to is to just kind of go back in your text messages and find someone that you haven't texted a long time and just say, hey, I was thinking about you. I hope you're having a great day. Or, you know, hey, happy leap day. Hope you're doing something fun with this bonus time. And people think that that kind of thing will not matter to the person who gets it. And yet people love to be thought of. People love to be reached out to, especially when it's not with something in mind, when it's not like an ask. It's just a thought. So I think that that is. I've tried to do this in my own life. I've tried to incorporate that. And I am really amazed by how good I feel just giving someone a quick call and leaving a message saying, hey, I hope you're doing great, or do you have time to talk for two minutes, I'm walking to the grocery store, that kind of thing.
- [14:15]
Matt Katz
And you give somebody else a moment of joy by just doing that. It's. People like to be thought of and they like to get that random text.
- [14:23]
Chris Duffy
Or call, of course. And, you know, I think we've all had this feeling sometimes, especially in such a big, busy city as New York, that you're walking around and you go, just, wow. Like, am I invisible? Like, there's so many people, but no one acknowledges me, and I'm just walking around and not seeing or interacting with people. So when someone actually does see you and call you or say that they're thinking about you. It's just such a positive, validating moment.
- [14:47]
Matt Katz
Right?
- [14:47]
Chris Duffy
Like, no one, no one doesn't like being invited to things, and no one doesn't like being thought of.
- [14:52]
Matt Katz
Totally. Tell us about what leap you might be taking today or this year. Give us a call, shoot us a text. 212-433. WNYC to 12433-9692. Let's go to the phone lines. Matt from Westchester. Hi, Matt.
- [15:10]
Matt (Caller)
Hey, how's it going?
- [15:11]
Matt Katz
Going great. Thanks for calling in. Happy Leap Day to you.
- [15:13]
Matt (Caller)
Yes, sure. Thanks. Thank you so much. Happy Leap Day to you. It's a fun one. Beautiful one, actually. Beautiful and cold.
- [15:20]
Matt Katz
Yes, that's right. Tell us. Tell us your leap day, your leap day story.
- [15:27]
Matt (Caller)
Well, you know, I took a leap of faith eight years ago and got married to my current wife and partner. And, you know, marriage was definitely a really scary thing for me at the time. Was even, like, talking to my therapist about at the time and, you know, but took the leap. And it's been great. We have two children that were two beautiful children. We lived in Queens at the time, have since moved up to Westchester and, you know, are having a really wonderful, wonderful life. So it turned out to be a really good leap. So today is our second anniversary.
- [16:09]
Matt Katz
Oh, congratulations. Great, great.
- [16:13]
Chris Duffy
An amazing anniversary. Your anniversary is Leap Day. What a great leap. I love it that people have twice now interpreted this in this way of like taking a big emotional leap. That's so.
- [16:21]
Matt Katz
That's so beautiful. And Matt, do you. How do you celebrate your anniversary? Do you not celebrate the other three years or do you.
- [16:30]
Matt (Caller)
Well, you know, we kind of. I think we acknowledge it. It's usually, it's always a question of, like, is it February 28th or March? We always kind of think March 1st, but I think it's pretty subdued in other years. And, you know, we also have these young children now, so that also, you know, takes. Sure, you know, it takes something from our time. But, you know, we do try to acknowledge it. But this year, well, you know, our Last one was 2020. Right. And so traveling was not an option at that point because everything shut down a couple weeks later. Right. And so this one, we are actually going to head up to the Mohonk Mountain house and for a little night away, gifting to ourselves. And we are very fortunate to have, you know, my father coming down to some babysitting, take care of our children.
- [17:24]
Matt Katz
Great.
- [17:25]
Matt (Caller)
Yeah. Yeah. So we're gonna, you know, try to enjoy this beautiful day outside Maybe take a hike and try to reflect on, you know, that leap of faith we took eight years ago and two anniversaries ago.
- [17:37]
Matt Katz
I love that. I love that, Matt. Congratulations to you guys. I hope you have a relaxing and romantic weekend.
- [17:44]
Chris Duffy
No. No clearer sign of a long term happily married couple and parents of young children than that the anniversary kind of flexibly exists in time, that it can move between a few days. What day is it ever, really?
- [17:54]
Matt Katz
Yes. Logistics can affect an anniversary celebration when you got little ones at home. Let's go to Sharon in Queens. Hi, Sharon.
- [18:03]
Sharon (Caller)
Hi. I'm taking the time to sit down and write, like, maybe a couple of one pagers to the people who have stood in the gaps for my mom and dad. I lost my mom and dad a while ago, and one of them are my two neighbors. One is 97 on one side of my house and the other one is 96. Wow. And I'm just gonna try to visit them, spend the afternoon, and also just write a couple of letters of two people that are not like telephone people, but I know they read, and it's a lost art to write letters. And I've been trying to get my granddaughters to help me with that.
- [18:48]
Matt Katz
Oh, wow, that's wonderful. Do you want to just tell them that you. That you appreciate them and that you enjoy having them in your life?
- [18:55]
Sharon (Caller)
They've been there just as well. Yeah, well, they've been there just as long as my parents. My neighbors were the first blacks that moved on my block. And when I lost my mom and dad, they would. They were there for me.
- [19:11]
Chris Duffy
Sharon, I love that. I think that's such a beautiful idea, especially to write them a letter. I used to be an elementary school teacher, and one of the really profound things that I learned from a master teacher there was that when you have a tough conversation when something's gone wrong, make a phone call home to the parents. But if something's going really right, write a letter, because then they can keep it and cherish it. And I feel like you're doing the exact same thing there, which is giving them something that they can really hold on to and find that that shows how much you care about them. That's such a beautiful idea.
- [19:41]
Matt Katz
Totally beautiful and inspiring. Sharon, thank you so much for. For calling Lisa and Chelsea. Hi, Lisa. Thanks for calling in. Oh, Lisa's not there. My apologies. Let me ask you a truly. I might have leaped to the wrong phone line there. You know, Chris, you have this baby, and that's like you're on paternity leave. And you're caring for the new baby. And obviously being a father is a leap in and of itself. Is there another leap that you'd like to discuss with us about what you're doing this today or this year?
- [20:16]
Chris Duffy
You're talking about a non parental leap.
- [20:17]
Matt Katz
A non parental leap.
- [20:19]
Chris Duffy
Well, you know something that I think that it's really lovely that so many people who've called have interpreted this in kind of the like big relational emotional leaps. And I think obviously the big relational and emotional leaps that I'm doing are in that parent space. But I think it's also fun to kind of do some like, lower stakes, really small leaps. So for me, one of the things that I'm going to do is I'm going to take a walk today and I'm just going to go into a store or a restaurant or a shop on the block that I've never been in before. I'm just going to say, like, all right, today. I've always walked past that place and it seemed like it had nothing to do with, with any of my interests. But now I'm going to see what's going on in there. What's that weird shop that seems to only sell cowboy boots or something like that? I want to see what the deal is.
- [21:02]
Matt Katz
So nice.
- [21:02]
Chris Duffy
I'm going to take today as a little, a tiny leap to just expand my mental geography of the place where I live.
- [21:08]
Matt Katz
I love that. Lisa, I'm sorry we didn't get to you. We have a little technical issue here. But Lisa did want to tell us, Lisa and Chelsea, that her father in law was a February 29th baby. And we used to groan every year because he said he only had birthdays every four years, which is a four course the joke. But since his passing, they've taken such great joy in the day. This family, Lisa's family has. And today would have been his 24th birthday. So happy birthday to Lisa's father in law. That's. Thank you so much for sharing that story and thank you to the listeners for sharing the story and for. And to Chris Duffy. Really appreciate it. Thanks for coming on all of it and talking about your leaps and leap day. Your podcast is how to be a Better Human. It's wonderful. Everybody should check it out. Thanks so much, Chris.
- [21:57]
Chris Duffy
Thanks for having me.
- [21:58]
McDonald's Customer
I'm gonna put you on, nephew.
- [22:00]
McDonald's Employee
All right, unc, welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order, miss?
- [22:03]
McDonald's Customer
I've been hitting up McDonald's for years. Now it's back. We need snack wraps. What's a snack wrap. It's the return of something great. Snack Wrap is back.
- [22:13]
LifeLock Advertiser
Sometimes an identity threat is a ring of professional hackers. And sometimes it's an overworked accountant who forgot to encrypt their connection while sending bank details.
- [22:22]
Narrator/Frasier Crane Voice
I need a coffee.
- [22:24]
LifeLock Advertiser
And you need Lifelock. Because your info in endless places. It only takes one mistake to expose you to identity theft. Lifelock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it, guaranteed. Or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year at LifeLock. Com. SpecialOffer Terms apply.