Unexpected Places for Meet Cutes in 2026

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Unexpected Places for Meet Cutes in 2026"

All Of It with Alison Stewart, WNYC
Original Air Date: March 6, 2026
Guest: Hannah Frischberg (WNYC Gothamist reporter)
Main Theme: Exploring the resurgence and evolution of "meet cutes" (charming first encounters that lead to romance) in real life, propelled by local businesses and a collective fatigue with dating apps.

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Overview

This episode delves into how New Yorkers are finding love away from apps and back out in the world—with a twist. From bars recruiting bartenders as matchmakers to indie bookstores hosting mingling nights, Alison Stewart and guest Hannah Frischberg explore the creative venues and formats helping the city’s singles connect in person. The discussion weaves in cultural shifts post-pandemic, tales from listeners' own love lives, and reflections on why analog romance is back in style.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Dissatisfaction with Dating Apps

• General Mood About Apps
  • "They’re feeling bad. Very bad." (Frischberg, 02:26)
  • Apps are described as gamified, increasingly expensive, commodifying, and largely unsuccessful in helping people find genuine connections.
  • “It’s existentially horrifying...people are using them to no success.” (Frischberg, 02:50)

2. The Rise of Business-Run Matchmaking and Events

• Grassroots Initiatives

  • Bars, cafes, co-ops, and bookstores are launching “flirt nights,” speed dating, and even “matchmaker bartenders.”

  • Examples shared include:

    • Edith's in Park Slope: Bartenders will discreetly relay crushes (03:38)
    • You and Me (bookshop in Chinatown): Hosts mingling nights (04:15)
    • Paul’s in Bed-Stuy: Bartender “arbiter of love” system (06:31)
    • Cuckoo (French language school): Speed dating tied to French-language interest (04:16)
    • Prima's coffee shop in Clinton Hill: Newsletter with personal ads (07:04)

  • Intentionality and Safety

    • Adds consent and reassurance: “We live in this hyper-vigilant world where it adds...a layer of reassurance you’re not gonna overstep boundaries.” (Frischberg, 05:00)
    • It can feel “a little middle school,” reflecting broader social awkwardness post-pandemic. (Frischberg, 05:14)

3. Post-Pandemic Socialization Struggles

• COVID's Social "Hangover"
  • “I think the kids are not all right. Yeah, we need help.” (Frischberg, 05:25)
  • Many feel less adept at in-person socializing and require more structured or mediated experiences to connect.
  • Cites the decline of “third spaces” as a major hurdle for organic connections (Frischberg, 08:15)
  • Tech dependence is also blamed: “People want to stare at their phones.” (Frischberg, 08:28)

4. Professional Matchmaking Perspective

• Amy Van Dorn, Professional Matchmaker
  • Ideal world wouldn’t require matchmakers, but need is rising—possibly popularized by media (“Materialists” movie).
  • “She thinks people are maladjusted and need help finding love.” (Frischberg, 07:34)
  • Clients often arrive with lengthy, sometimes unrealistic, lists of demands (Frischberg, 08:00)

5. The Rise of Creative Social Signal Systems

• Specialty events employ intentional systems—eg. colored bracelets for interest (friendship, romance, or both), providing a semi-structured “rule book” for approaching others (Frischberg, 15:47)

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Listener Stories and Notable Quotes

Caller Highlights

1. Art Gallery Flirtation (Shakti/Marjorie)

• Met future spouse at a Brooklyn art gallery, helped by prior experience with early online dating platforms (09:14)
• “We were both practicing flirting...from the dating sites, but we met and flirted at the gallery.”

2. Subway Serendipity (Jason)

• Missed connections on the train, fate reconvened in a pharmacy thanks to a shared interest (Edgar Cayce book)
• “She comes over to me because I’m reading an Edgar Cayce book.” (10:20)
• Outcome: multiple coincidences, a lunch at a rabbi’s house, now married.

3. Scuba Club Initiative (Ted)

• Connection at a Manhattan scuba diving club, persistence paid off despite not knowing the woman was dating someone else
• “I eventually went over and introduced myself...I was persistent and did it again. And now we’re married with two kids.” (11:25-12:39)

4. Photo Safari Bond (Marjorie in White Plains)

• Love blossomed on a photo safari in Kenya—bonded over sharing camera lenses and scuba diving
• “Participating in an activity you love brings people together. And scuba diving was a great way to meet men too, I should say.” (16:02-16:51)

5. Event-Driven Connections (Rick)

• Met his wife at a WNYC singles event, involved “sneaking” into a younger age bracket and mustering courage at the last moment (13:27-14:44)
• “Every time I would try to get up to speak to her, I walk across the room and she would then go to the opposite side...Finally, I just got the courage and walked up...the rest is history.”

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Contextual and Cultural Reflections

• Shift in dating behavior reflects broader anxiety and a loss of confidence in spontaneous social skills.
• Activities or places built around shared interests (language, books, hobbies) create easy icebreakers and common ground.
• Consent mechanisms and “safe zones” for flirting are more sought after than ever, mirroring shifts in societal norms.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes with Timestamps

• On Dating Apps:
  • “It’s existentially horrifying...people are using them to no success.” – Hannah Frischberg (02:50)
• On Bartender Matchmakers:
  • “It’s like instead of being like, ‘Hey, I saw you from across the bar and I think you're cute,’ now you have the bartender go say that.” – Hannah Frischberg (04:56)
• On Social Awkwardness:
  • “I think the kids are not all right. Yeah, we need help.” – Hannah Frischberg (05:25)
  • “It’s a little middle school. I think that is also reflective perhaps of how we are doing socially as a society.” – Hannah Frischberg (05:14)
• On Shared Activities:
  • “Participating in an activity that you love brings people together. And scuba diving was a great way to meet men too.” – Marjorie (16:47)
• On "Rule Books" for Dating:
  • “Consent is great, but no, I think...that’s part of the problem, right? There’s no rule book for having charisma and finding a mate. So I think these events...lend a certain intentionality that does provide something of a rule book.” – Hannah Frischberg (15:16)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro to Segment/What the Episode’s About: 01:09
• Dissatisfaction with Dating Apps: 02:26–03:32
• Examples of IRL Dating Initiatives: 03:38–04:34
• Socialization Post-COVID & Need for Mediators: 05:12–05:43
• Specific Venue Examples (Paul's, Prima's, etc.): 06:30–07:20
• Professional Matchmaking Perspective: 07:34–08:53
• Discussion of Tech Dependency and Loss of Third Spaces: 08:10–08:53
• Listener Calls and Real-Life Stories:
  • Art Gallery Meet (Shakti/Marjorie): 09:14
  • Subway/Pharmacy Meet (Jason): 09:59–11:05
  • Scuba Club (Ted): 11:25–12:39
  • WNYC Singles Event (Rick): 13:27–14:44
  • Photo Safari (Marjorie): 16:02–16:51
• How to Approach & “Rule Book” Discussion: 15:16–15:47

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Conclusion

The return of meet cutes to unexpected places—spurred on by local businesses and a collective longing for meaning and safety in romantic encounters—signals a cultural pivot away from swipe fatigue and toward renewed social creativity. Whether mediated by a bartender, orchestrated at a co-op, or originating at a scuba club, today’s “IRL” romantic connections weave together intentional structure, personal interests, and the timeless thrill of chance encounters.

Episode Takeaway:
As Alison Stewart and Hannah Frischberg (plus a lively cohort of callers) reflect: the places and ways we meet may be changing, but the search for genuine connection remains as vibrant (and sometimes awkward) as ever.

Transcript

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[Alison Stewart]

This is all of it on wnyc. I'm Alison Stewart. Hey Juliana, can I get a little bit of music for this segment here? I

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I'm so in love with you. Whatever you want to do

[Alison Stewart]

is alright with me. Rather than consistently swiping on apps, some singles have opted to search for romance IRL and local establishments have decided to help. In a recent article, WNYC Gotham is reporter Hannah Frischberg wrote about how your bartender, barista or local bookstore merchant could assist you in finding the right match. Even Brooklyn Food Co Op has a night where members can quote, flirt about produce. There seems to be a lot of interest. A 2024 Eventbrite report shows attendance at dating events grew by 49%. WNYC Gotham's reporter Hannah Fishberg is here with me now in studio. Hi Hannah.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Hi. Thanks for having me.

[Alison Stewart]

Listener. Like to hear your input on this. Are you dating or married to someone you met in real life? Where do the two of you meet? What helped you strike a connection? Our number is 2124-3396-9221-2433 wnyc. So since 2010 there have been just dozens of apps. There's been Hinge, there's been Raya, there's been Tinder, there has been Bumble, Even Facebook has a, has a dating service. From the folks you talk to, how are they feeling about the apps these days?

[Hannah Frischberg]

Bad.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

They're feeling bad.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Very bad. Yeah. No. People find them gamified that they don't work, that they're increasingly expensive and they're not finding love on them.

[Alison Stewart]

So when you talk to them about it, you said I was asking what you felt they. Sorry, I was going to ask you. What are they feeling about them? They're feeling that they are taking advantage of them or do they feel like they're being.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Being sort of commodified?

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yeah, I mean I think we have this for profit institution now in terms of all of these apps that has kind of taken over something that humans have been doing since time immemorial. And it's really disrupted the fabric of what it means to find love. And it's existentially horrifying. And also just, yeah, people are using them to know success.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

How has it changed the analog way of dating dating apps?

[Hannah Frischberg]

It's completely disrupted it, right? I mean, before, you had to rely on your fellow friends and churchgoers and family and whoever, real humans to find love, and now it's like an enormous percentage of Americans are using the apps almost exclusively to be matched up.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So when did you first hear of this trend of businesses getting involved in matchmaking?

[Hannah Frischberg]

My friend Lauren texted me a photo from this bar, Edith's in Park Slope, and they had this thing on the bill where it was like, tell us if you see someone cute at the restaurant, and we'll like, you know, do this process to let them know you have a crush on them. But there's gonna be like, basically the bartender is the third party mediator. And she was like, oh, my God, I keep seeing this at bars.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

She saw it at different bars?

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yeah, yeah. She was seeing it all over the place. She was like, you should do a story.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

And you said, okay, where did you start?

[Hannah Frischberg]

I started at Edith's, and then, yeah, I just kind of, like, put out a call to my friends and a ton of stuff came back. There's a place. There's a bookshop in Chinatown that has Mingles nights.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, you and me. Yeah.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yes, you and me. There's a in Bed Stuy called Paul's that has a thing on Saturdays where the bartender will match you up after you tell them who your crush is. There's a French language school in Manhattan called Cuckoo, which is hosting its own speed dating events. Just all these, like, local entities are having speed dating events.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So the question is, is it the same. Is it the same idea of going to a place where you would be around someone you liked? Only now there's this bonus. This bonus added that the person there is also looking for love. Or is it. I'm trying to tell the difference between just going to a bar versus going to one of these bars.

[Hannah Frischberg]

It's. I mean, it's like almost so obvious that it's confusing.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I know.

[Alison Stewart]

You know what I mean?

[Hannah Frischberg]

It's like instead of being like, hey, I saw you from across the bar and I think you're cute. It's. Now you have the bartender go say that. And to make sure that it's consensual crush or whatever. I mean, we live in this hyper, vigilant world where it adds, I think, a layer of reassurance that you're not gonna overstep somebody's boundaries.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It reminds me of middle school a little bit.

[Hannah Frischberg]

It's a little middle school. I think that is also reflective perhaps of how we are doing socially as a society.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That was interesting. So as I was reading your article, I kept thinking, is this a hangover from COVID 100%.

[Alison Stewart]

Yeah.

[Hannah Frischberg]

I think the kids are not all right. Yeah, we need help.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Explain more.

[Hannah Frischberg]

I think we need assistance socializing. I think we have become increasingly maladjusted as a society in terms of how we interact with each other, especially in the context of something like love, where, you know, there's a lot of emotions going on.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I'm talking to Hannah Frischberg, WNYC Gothamist culture, culture and arts reporter. We're talking about her article. Want to find romance at NYC bookstars, bars and bagel shops. All want to set you up. Listeners, we'd like to get your input on this. Are you dating or married to someone you met in real life? Where did you guys meet? What helped strike that connection? Have you given up on dating apps recently in hope of finding someone you. Your right person? What have you tried so far? Our number is 2124-3396-9221-2433. WNYC. We'd love to take your messages, your texts, or you can call in and join the conversation. I want to go back to that bar in bed. Stuy Paul's. This bartender is designated as the arbiter of love.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yes.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So tell us a little bit about his responsibilities as the arbiter of love.

[Hannah Frischberg]

I think it's one specific bartender named Becca. And the thing you like, write. So if I have a crush on you, I'm gonna write down your name. I'm going to hand it to Becca and then Becca is going to arbit that. And. And it's not like superset rules or anything, but, you know, maybe she'll connect us in a non awkward way or maybe, you know, she'll. She'll let the person know and they'll say, oh, I'm not interested in Hannah. And then I'll go on my merry way and she'll tell me something reassuring.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

How about the coffee shop in Clinton Hills called Prima's? What are they doing?

[Hannah Frischberg]

They've got a newsletter with personals. That's a whole nother story. There's so many personals now, but they publish it monthly. Actually, I think it's bi weekly. And yeah, it's got everything from. I'm reselling a Lamp to. I'm looking for someone between 20 and 30 who's five' five and has piercing brown eyes.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So they used to do on the back of New York magazines once upon a time. You spoke with Amy Van Dorn, a professional New York City based matchmaker for 19 years. What does she make about this trend of people wanting to meet in real life?

[Hannah Frischberg]

She thinks that in an ideal society, her job shouldn't have to exist because we can find each other on our own, but we are not there. And she has noticed an increasing amount of matchmakers actually in recent years. Probably significantly because of the Materialists, which was a movie about matchmakers, became more popular once that came out. Yeah. She thinks people are maladjusted as well and they need help finding love.

[Alison Stewart]

Do people come with their. Come with their, like their list of things they need in a guy or gal?

[Hannah Frischberg]

Oh, yeah, she's got some very high need clients, I'm sure.

[Alison Stewart]

High need?

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yes. They've got a lot of needs. A lot of needs.

[Alison Stewart]

What does she say are the biggest challenges towards meeting people in real life in 2026?

[Hannah Frischberg]

Well, I think we don't have as many third spaces anymore where you can go meet people. And we've also become so tech dependent that we are not necessarily looking for it or open to it.

[Alison Stewart]

Huh.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yeah.

[Alison Stewart]

That people just want to stare at their phones.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Is that the people want to stare at their phones? It's, you know, we're, we are very vigilant, as I said. Like, you know, people are concerned about upsetting somebody and then, you know, maybe I'll. You'll videotape it and you'll put it on the Internet now. All I wanted to do was tell you I had a crush on you and I'm on the Internet. People are just socially awkward. I mean, we got AI, we got Covid. We had a lot of factors that happened and prevented us from flexing our social muscles.

[Alison Stewart]

Ooh, tell me about AI.

[Hannah Frischberg]

AI. I mean, it's coming. It's coming. I've only heard anecdotal stories about people getting truly addicted to AI and using it to compensate for their social life to date, but I can only imagine it's going to get worse.

[Alison Stewart]

Let's take a couple of calls. This is, I think it's. Shakti is calling from Brooklyn. Hi, thanks for calling all of it.

[Caller 1 (Shakti/Marjorie)]

I love your show. Can't believe I'm actually on. I met my husband at an Art Gallery 20 years ago in Brooklyn and we, we both were doing dating sites at the time. Apps didn't exist yet. And I think part of how we were able to meet in public is because we were both practicing flirting because of the, you know, going on some dates, you know, via. What was it at the time? Like, something neat. I can't remember what they were called then, but we met. We murdered. Yeah, we. We flirted at a. At an art gallery. That's how we met.

[Alison Stewart]

And we're still together, like, hearing that story. Let's talk to Jason in Brooklyn. Hey, Jason, thanks for calling, all of it.

[Caller 2 (Jason/Rick)]

Sure.

[Caller 3 (Ted)]

Hi. So my story is. Is very short. My wife had tried to help somebody get home quickly, and he brushed her off. So she walked up a train car. I walked down a train car because, you know, the universe runs the world. And I saw her like, oh, God, I'd like to talk to her. So she gets it off at my train station. I'll talk. She got off. I hid behind a girder, and I was like, I know I promised I was going to talk, you know, And I say, so she disappeared, and I went to a pharmacy, and there she was. I was like, ah, I'll talk to her about pet supplies. So she comes over to me because I'm reading an Edgar Casey book. We start talking about it, and we decided to go to a rabbi's house for a lunch next week. I was like, great. And then we continue talking. I said, would you mind if I walked you home? And she was like, sure. And I had just moved there with my parents, and so my wife to be, lived across the street from me.

[Alison Stewart]

Oh, you got to get your lunch. Thanks for calling in. And you know what? I heard his description. He's got game.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yeah, he's got a little bit of game.

[Alison Stewart]

He was willing to put himself out there and talk to the person he was interested in.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yeah. And the universe helped to put her in the pharmacy.

[Alison Stewart]

Let's talk to Ted in Montclair. Hey, Ted, thanks for calling, all of it.

[Caller 3 (Ted)]

Hi.

[Alison Stewart]

Hi.

[Caller 3 continuation]

So my story was I had been dating somebody for a long time that didn't work out. And so when that was done, I figured I need to catch up. And I started doing a lot of online dating, which ended up in just a lot of meet and greets, but nothing lasting. And then one of my big interests was scuba diving. So there was a club in New York called Ocean Blue Divers, where all the divers in the city who wish they were diving but were landlocked in Manhattan would get together at bars and talk about diving or see some photographers. And there was a woman who was one of the organizers who would always see at these events and she would sign people in and I noticed her, she always seemed to be on her own. So I eventually when I went over and introduced myself and she doesn't remember the first time we met, but I was persistent and did it again. And we're now married with two kids. But what I didn't know was at the time was that she actually was dating somebody but who didn't like big group social events. So who never went. So I never would have gone over because I was not that kind of guy. I wouldn't have barged in, but I didn't know. So it ended up working out.

[Alison Stewart]

That's interesting. Thank you so much for calling. That was something that was talked about in your piece a little bit like these places where people have something in common, they go to a different group and that's a way that they meet.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yeah. Like at you and me or Cuckoo actually is a perfect example. I mean, if you're going to a speed dating event that's being hosted by a French language school, you're going to have almost certainly a shared interest in the French language with everyone else at the event.

[Alison Stewart]

I have to imagine big business has seen this trend and thought like, there's got to be a way we can get in on this.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Yeah, I have seen some kind of odd speed danning events that are like sponsored by a leak proof underwear brand. Yeah, I think it's just an easy way. I, I think it's an easy, safe thing to sponsor, you know.

[Alison Stewart]

Let's take another call. Rick is calling in from Beacon. Hey Rick, thanks for calling all of it.

[Caller 2 (Jason/Rick)]

Hi Allison. First time, long time. I met my wife to be at a WNYC singles event.

[Alison Stewart]

That's so great.

[Caller 2 (Jason/Rick)]

It was at a place in Brooklyn called Galapagos and it was, I guess they were broken up into. Every 10 years would be a different group. And I kind of snuck into the one that was 10 years younger than me. But you know, I got in, you know, so. And there was this girl who I saw and I was attracted to, but every time I would try to get up to speak to her, I walk across the room and she would then go to the opposite side of the room. And this happened for pretty much most of the evening. And then I finally, towards the end of the evening, I just got the courage and walked up and said, you know, I've been trying to meet you all evening, but it's time to go. But you know, hi. And so she, she stopped for a moment and she looked at me and we chatted and the rest is history.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

There you go. Thanks for calling in. This text says, my wife And I met 38 years ago the good old fashioned way. Personal ad in the paper. As we're talking about these different places where people can meet people. People can feel awkward talking to one another. All of these people were raised in a way where they could talk to somebody different. What did you hear from people about the way that people should be talking to somebody, should be trying to meet somebody? Is there a certain way you should introduce your.

[Hannah Frischberg]

I mean, consent is great, but no, I think. I mean, that's part of the problem, right? There's no rule book for having charisma and finding a mate. So I think these events, though, they lend a certain intentionality that does provide something of a rule book. Because if you're going to a singles event, you can assume that other people there are also looking to date. And you can start with that. And also like the youe and Me books one. And I've heard of other events doing this as well. They have colored bracelets that you can wear to signal if you are interested in friendship, love, or both.

[Alison Stewart]

Oh, that's so interesting. Is there anything else in your article you think people should know about?

[Hannah Frischberg]

I don't not know. I don't know.

[Alison Stewart]

All right, we'll take one more call then. Let's talk to Marjorie in White Plains. Marjorie, you've got about a minute?

[Caller 1 (Shakti/Marjorie)]

Hi. Well, I met my husband on a photo safari in Kenya. I went with a friend, a girlfriend. He went with a male friend. And I was a fairly novice of photographer. He was very experienced and I didn't have a lot of lenses. And he kept lending me lenses and giving me tips. And it was a, I don't know, 12, 14 day. And we kept being in the same van together. And so we hit it off. He lived, as I said, Chicago, and I had just learned to scuba dive. So our first date was in Florida, scuba diving. And then we continued long distance. But, you know, just participating in an activity that you love brings people together. And scuba diving was a great way to meet men too, I should say.

[Alison Stewart]

Also, you just liked his lenses. That's what I'm gonna say from now on. I like that man's lenses. I've been speaking with Hannah Frischberg. Her article is called Want to Find Romance in New York City. Bookstores, bars and bagel shops all want to set you up. Thanks for being with us.

[Hannah Frischberg]

Thanks for having me.

[Alison Stewart]

And that is all of it. All of it is produced by Andrea Duncan Mao, Kate Hines, Jordan Loss, Simon Close, Zach Goderer Cohen, El Malik Anderson and Luke Green. Megan Ryan is the head of Live Radio. Our engineer is Juliana Fonda. We had help this week from Irene Trudell and Bill o'. Neill. Luscious Jackson does our music. I'm Alison Stewart. I appreciate you listening and I appreciate you and I will meet you back here next time.

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