Baby Names & Homeschool Debate: Your most chaotic questions answered

Summary

Always Here Podcast Summary

Episode: Baby Names & Homeschool Debate: Your Most Chaotic Questions Answered

Hosts: Abby Howard & Addie (“Abby”) Howard
Date: July 24, 2026

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Overview

In this high-energy, laughter-filled episode, sister-in-laws Abby and Addie Howard tackle a whirlwind of listener voicemails—ranging from baby name dilemmas and homeschooling debates, to beauty tips, marriage advice, and even their thoughts on death row meals. The conversation is a blend of candid stories, relatable mom moments, candid advice, and quick-witted banter, all in alignment with their mission: “sharing the hope and the hard with heart and humor.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Chaos & Real-Life Transitions [(01:10-06:00)]

• Mom Mode Struggles: Both hosts share how flipping from “mom brain” to “podcast host” feels like running in mental circles.
• Late to the Gym: Confessions about always being late, missing warm-ups but not sweating it (“as long as I get there before the workout starts…”), with some gym stories & birthday candle mishaps for their kids and dogs.
• Quote: “If we were awkward at this point, it’s just a little bit of a hard transition in our life, like, when we go from being mom… like, my mom mode. Mom mode.” – Abigail [01:47]
• Humor in Chaos: Reflection on living in a state of chaos and finding joy in sisterhood.

2. Hope & “A Hard” Updates [(05:49-08:45)]

• Hard Moments: Addie shares feeling extra stressed for “little things” and the classic period-on-the-way panic (“might have to free bleed if it happens on the podcast… This is a white chair!”)
• Postpartum Pain: Abigail’s weird back pain, possibly pregnancy related, leads to an honest discussion about discomfort in late pregnancy and prepping for labor.
• Insomnia & “Mom Brain”: Abby struggles with being up from 2-3:30 am and texting her husband, who’s in Turkey.
• Quote: “My brain was dreaming visual beauty and then I woke up and it was thinking about visual beauty.” – Abby [10:40]
• Hopeful Notes: Abby looks forward to “the launch” in two days; Addie’s “hope” is her new mascara that performs and removes easily.

3. Health & Beauty—Listener Q&A [(12:13-38:49)]

Voicemails on Mascara, Gym Confidence, Pelvic Floor, and Beauty Routines

• Mascara Chat: Both rave about their own mascara formula (“buildable, natural or dramatic, all-day wear, easy removal”). Addie recommends Merit & Ilia for natural beauty; Versed for hydrating under-eye concealer.
• Fitness Confidence: Tips for entering gyms as a newbie: bring a friend, stand in the back, remember no one’s really looking, and modify exercises as needed.
  • “No one is actually looking at me when I’m doing this.” – Addie [32:02]
• Postpartum Exercise: Advice for easing back into working out: get new outfits, listen to your body, use free online pelvic floor resources, and trust your instincts.
  • “If it starts to feel weird, don’t do it.” – Abby [38:35]
• Pelvic Floor: Insights on “zipping up” your core, being gentle in postpartum healing.
• Memorable Moment: Multiple references to “free bleeding” on a podcast chair. [06:17, 06:22]
• Timestamp Highlights:
  • Mascara Product Tips [29:20-31:09]
  • Gym Confidence [31:11-35:32]
  • Postpartum Fitness [35:34-38:49]

4. Kids, Family & Baby Names [(38:49-54:59)]

• Naming Dilemmas: Voicemail from a listener with the last name “Stark” prompts a creative brainstorm (advice: steer clear of “Game of Thrones” names, go for strong, multi-syllable options like “Veronica Stark” or “Anderson Stark”).
  • “Stark actually does put you in a difficult spot… It does put the pressure on.” – Abigail [40:27]
• Travel Tips: Listeners with early flights and toddlers get practical advice: let kids sleep in car seats, feed them at the airport, morning flights go smoother than feared.
• Dog + Newborn Transition: Bring home a swaddle with baby’s smell, buy dog toys, and perform introductions on a leash.
• Baby/Toddler Nap Schedules: Advice for events during nap times; flexibility is key, buffer with car naps, and “one good nap is usually enough.”
• Starting a Family (Book vs. Experience Debate):
  • “The more I feel like too much access to information tunes out my personal instincts…” – Abigail [50:32]
  • Recommendations: Build real-life community with fellow parents, audit your own life (financial, marital, emotional, spiritual), trust your intuition, and gather support from friends more than innumerable books.
• Teething Tips: Freeze breast milk or fruit in teether pacifiers, Tylenol only if really needed. “Cold stuff helps.”

5. Dating, Marriage & Adult Life [(55:11-93:11)]

• Community vs. Comfort: Would you trade community for a comfier life? Majority say no, but if you’re pre-kids and adventurous, “try it and come back if needed.”
• First Dance Songs: Trading nostalgia on their wedding first dances (Ed Sheeran & Beyoncé’s “Perfect,” Ben Rector’s “Forever Like That,” “No Matter Where You Are” by Us The Duo).
• Work-Life Rhythms: How to handle a partner with a 60-hour workweek—don’t get bitter, create a welcoming home, hype kids for Dad’s homecoming, set intentional house culture.
  • “We get to set the tone of our house…” – Addie [63:40]
• Crushin’ on the TA: Bold advice for the college caller—bake goods, give a graduation card with your number, or make conversation around grades, but be brave and leave the rest to fate.
  • “You gotta let him know that you’re interested.” – Addie [69:15]
  • Hosts all admit they, at times, made the first move in their own relationships.
• Friendships with Opposite Sex, Dating Edition: Group hangouts are fine; “best friends of the opposite sex” when in a relationship, not so much.
• Engagement Rings: Team “get what you can afford”—moissanite, lab-grown, diamond, or family heirloom, it’s the commitment that matters, not the price or size.

6. Just for Fun & Miscellaneous! [(71:29-98:58)]

• Arizona’s Brick Fences: It’s the sun—wood rots, blocks hold up, plus privacy in tightly packed Phoenix neighborhoods, but it means the yards get extra hot.
• Book Club Segment: Top genres—historical fiction (The Nightingale), romance, thriller, memoirs, and some “not smut.” Newest pick: “Yellowface” by R.F. Kuang.
• Death Row Meals: A riotous debate about what they’d eat if it was their last meal (favorites: sushi—especially salmon nigiri, Lebanese food, Freddy’s burgers, Mexican food from El Maguey and Cocina Madrigal).
  • “If I was on death row, don’t catch me eating. I’ll be throwing up.” – Addie [80:21]
• High School Regrets: Abby wishes she’d “cared less about grades”; Addie and Abby wish they’d been more content single and focused on girlfriends instead of always having boyfriends.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Turns out, wasn’t the best thing because now I know just everything my mom knows.” – Quoting Nate Bargatze (homeschool comedy) [06:46, 28:18]
• “Do you ever just dance in your house? Like, slow dancing?” – Abigail [01:12]; Response: “No, we usually pump it up. You got to pump it up.” – Addie [01:15]
• “If my mom can do it, you can do it… She has zero gym confidence.” – Abby [33:28]
• “I lay awake at night every night thinking about what my future baby name will be.” – Listener [09:07; callback at 39:09]
• “We get to set the tone of our house.” – Addie [63:40]
• “You have to let them know—they can’t read your mind. They don’t know that you’re interested.” – Abby [68:10]
• “I wish I cared less about my grades you guys... Maybe relax. Go to bed.” – Abigail [86:45]
• “It’s the commitment that matters, not the price or size of the ring.” – All, [89:38-92:24]

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Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Start Time | Key Content | |-----------------------------------------------|--------------|------------------------------------------------------| | Opening Chaos & Real Life | 00:31 | Mom brain, late gym stories, daily chaos | | Hope & Hard Updates | 05:49 | Stress, periods, back pain, hopefulness | | Health & Beauty Q&A | 12:13 | Mascara tips, gym confidence, postpartum fitness | | Kids & Family/Baby Naming | 38:49 | Stark name brainstorm, kid travel, dog intros | | Dating & Marriage Advice | 55:11 | Comfort vs. community, wedding songs, work/life | | TA Crush & First Moves | 65:21 | Voicemail Q on asking out a TA, bold move ideas | | Arizona Brick Fences + Local Culture | 71:29 | Random housing Q, local color | | Book Club & Genre Picks | 75:01 | Favorite genres, monthly picks, book chat | | Fun Food Questions | 79:21 | Death row meals, favorite restaurants | | High School/Engagement Ring Reflections | 86:39 | Regrets, labs-vs-diamonds, meaning of a ring | | Book Club Quick Recap | 94:13 | Latest Book, “Listen for the Lie,” reactions | | Always Hungry (Recipe Recommendations) | 96:49 | Easy recipes: Hawaiian Chicken Sheet, Frozen S’mores |

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Tone & Language

Authentic, casual, and unfiltered—the hosts use self-deprecating humor and open up about ordinary struggles. They joke about bodily functions, real marriage woes, motherhood doubts, and pop culture obsessions with tenderness and a dash of sarcasm.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

• This is a “Q&A everything” episode—expect wild pivots from beauty hacks to marriage doubt, book tips to first move advice, levity with depth, and answers that will make you laugh and also think.
• Standout strengths: the warmth of community, practical (not prescriptive) advice, and generous honesty about not always having it together.
• If you’ve ever wondered about baby names, mascara, how to ask out a TA, or where to eat the best Mexican in Phoenix—this is your episode.

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Next Episode Tease:
Book Club picks (“Yellowface”), more listener Q&A, and, as always, an extra helping of chaos and heart.

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Final Word:
"We're always here." – Abby & Addie

Transcript

[Abby Howard]

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[Abigail]

It's all made in our lightweight, stretchy, swift fabric. Throw on these everyday staples after practice and bring an airy feel to your daily moves. Shop the Breezily collection [e-mail] I considered homeschooling.

[Addie]

No, I've never considered that.

[Abigail]

The comedian at Nate Bargetti is like, I was homeschooled. Turns out, wasn't the best thing because now I know just everything my mom knows.

[Addie]

Right?

[Caller]

What your death row means.

[Abigail]

Are these supposed to be, like, your most gluttonous meal? Because if I'm taking this so literally, I don't think I'll be able to eat.

[Addie]

Don't catch me eating. I'll be throwing up.

[Caller]

I lay awake at night every night thinking about what my future baby name will be.

[Abigail]

Do you guys ever just dance in your house? Like, slow dancing?

[Addie]

No. We usually put on, like, don't pump it up. You got to pump it up. Welcome back to Always Here. We're your hosts, Abby Howard and Abby Howard. It's good to see you again. Long time.

[Abigail]

See you every day. Every day of my life.

[Addie]

Literally, like, well, see you later. See you later. See you tomorrow. It's a joy.

[Abigail]

It's a joy and a blessing.

[Addie]

It's a blessing. We're here to share the hope in the heart with heart and humor.

[Abigail]

If we were awkward at this point, it's just a little bit of a hard transition in our life, like, when we go from being mom. Like, for me at least. I'm like, my mom mode. Mom mode.

[Addie]

Mom mode.

[Abigail]

Cameras.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Addie]

Literally.

[Abigail]

Wait. Thoughts that aren't about, I don't know, pee and poop. Like, Like.

[Addie]

Like getting here. I'm, like, running around in my head. Is that sound like, you know that?

[Abigail]

And then, hey,

[Addie]

that's.

[Abigail]

Yeah, yeah, I know what I'm talking about now.

[Addie]

At first, I'm very bad at recreating sounds, but in my head, the whole day is the chaos. Give us a minute to sit.

[Abigail]

And I'm like, oh, adult brain on

[Abby Howard]

and for logistic reasons, we also recorded yesterday. So we've.

[Addie]

Yeah. So most likely. What was I gonna talk about again today? Well, that's all right. That's how we prepare. I didn't prepare, but that's why we do prepare, usually a hope and a hard.

[Abigail]

I want to say that when Abigail walked into the gym today, everyone was doing a wall sit and they're like, clap for her.

[Addie]

I just put my hands. I go, hey.

[Abigail]

Oh,

[Addie]

I was 10 minutes late.

[Abigail]

I was late as well. I gotta put that out there.

[Addie]

But yeah.

[Abigail]

And I'm actually usually late.

[Addie]

Yeah. I feel like as long as I get there before the workout starts, I'm okay with missing the warm up. I'm okay with missing the instruction.

[Abigail]

That's part of the workout, though.

[Addie]

Yeah. But it's all right.

[Abigail]

Actually, you know what? That was actually the bookend.

[Addie]

It was that I missed. Yeah. I was a little too late for my liking today. Yeah, I was. I pushed my. I pushed my own limits. But I went to the early class today, so that's why I like when

[Abby Howard]

you come to the early class.

[Addie]

I know, but it's hard for me to walk, Lewis, because you have to take them so early that I need the mornings.

[Abigail]

I'm a good dog, mom.

[Addie]

Thanks. Well, I'm, you know, turning over a new leaf. I love my dog again. Do you remember Griffin's birthday party when I got a three candle instead of a four?

[Abigail]

No. I literally went to go about that. Candles in the birthday cake because Abigail was like, why do I keep calling you Abigail today?

[Addie]

I don't know. I like it. It's okay.

[Abigail]

Abigail was like, is there anything I

[Addie]

can do to help you?

[Abigail]

I was like, you know what? Actually, yeah, Batteries and candles. If you get batteries for the Rex costume, candles for the cake. Perfect. And I gotta put it in the candles and the cake. And I'm like, it's a three.

[Addie]

It's a three, not a four. He turned four.

[Abigail]

He turned four.

[Addie]

Yes.

[Abigail]

And then I went over to Abby and I was like, thank you so much for getting this three Kindle. You're welcome.

[Addie]

Oh, I was like, you're so welcome. Oh.

[Abigail]

I was like, save that for CJ in a couple weeks.

[Addie]

Good thing I brought back up. I brought a bunch of stick candles.

[Abigail]

Yeah, no, it's great.

[Addie]

The letter or the number was wrong, so I have to be now. I'm glad I got that off my chest.

[Abigail]

We're about to have two three year olds, so.

[Addie]

Yeah, we'll use it. Well, I can share.

[Abigail]

It'll get used.

[Addie]

It'll get used.

[Abigail]

Let me have it after you're done with Perfect. And that sounds good.

[Addie]

Perfect candles.

[Abigail]

That's the thing that they do upcharge a lot on birthday party things.

[Addie]

Candles.

[Abigail]

Like, that candle was probably what I think it was.

[Addie]

Three bucks. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I feel like for those things, it's kind of a hassle and maybe go out of your way, but, like, the dollar tree definitely has that.

[Caller]

It's true.

[Abby Howard]

Or like, birthday party bags or birthday cards, holiday cards. Those are like $6, dude.

[Abigail]

I've spent a lot on cards recently. I don't ever get them at the grocery store. They're like $9.

[Abby Howard]

Trader Joe's does actually have cheaper ones.

[Addie]

I.

[Abigail]

That's a good place to get them if you're gonna get them there.

[Addie]

I just don't. I normally don't put cards in the bag, and I text the person and say, hey, my one that doesn't have a card, and it's in this bag.

[Abigail]

I only get cards for, like, you guys. My mom and Matt. Yeah, I had a lot of hard gift.

[Abby Howard]

Like, if it's like a baby shower, I don't usually do a card.

[Abigail]

No.

[Addie]

Yeah, no. Never usually wrap it. Yeah. I was gonna say, I usually try.

[Abby Howard]

I've never been doing that recently of, like, parties where you don't wrap.

[Addie]

No, it's freeing. It's freeing. Some people love to wrap gifts, and that's their talent. I'm like, let me throw this in a bag. And I never have the bag that fits. Then it's just, like, sticking out. And I'm like, well, I'm not gonna put the tissue in it. Just shuffle it in there in a random.

[Abigail]

I don't like it either.

[Addie]

Yeah, I don't care.

[Abigail]

Do you have a hope in a hard?

[Addie]

Yeah, I think probably my hard is I. I did feel like today was kind of. I felt very stressed this whole morning day. And it's the type of day where the. All the little things that usually you can just throw off your shoulder, like, don't. Are not a big deal, kind of stress you out. I don't know why I don't. I think I am starting my period, which I'm not gonna complain. I'm so grateful I'm healthy. I did forget tampons, so I might have to free bleed if it happens on the podcast.

[Abigail]

This is a white chair.

[Abby Howard]

I'm pretty sure Abby's got some products here.

[Addie]

I don't think any of you do. That's my issue.

[Abigail]

I know our babysitter, our dog Sitter left a tampon.

[Abby Howard]

I saw there was one tampon in the back.

[Addie]

I've been using the discs. I don't even have tampons. So I'm like, well, but it hasn't started yet. So I just feel like it's going to.

[Abby Howard]

I did feel that way when I got my first period back postpartum. I was like, I don't have any problems. Do I want to use a big pad?

[Abigail]

I know.

[Abby Howard]

I guess that's why.

[Addie]

I guess so. Put that diaper on for postpartum. Just kidding. I did not have any of those left over. Used all those up. So, yeah, I just felt stressed. Like Caleb helped me and picked up my groceries from Sam's club and did a pickup order, but he went to the wrong location. Immediately stressed me out because I had to put in like what number he was at, what spot. And then, yeah, he wasn't there to get it. So then he had to go. You know, it was just like a whole thing.

[Abigail]

And I do pick up at Sam's.

[Addie]

Yeah, they do.

[Abigail]

I really wish they did that at Costco.

[Addie]

I think Costco would be too flooded.

[Caller]

Really?

[Addie]

They would probably. I mean, they could make a system of it, but yeah, I'm surprised they don't. Yeah, I've never gone.

[Abby Howard]

Probably because Walmart is associated with Sam's. Correct.

[Addie]

But it's free. I just do it on the app.

[Abby Howard]

I think it's because they already have the systems in place for pickup and stuff like that. I don't know. Costco.

[Abigail]

The Costco app confuses me. I literally don't know how to use it.

[Addie]

I'm not. It's very user friendly. When I go into Sam's, I just use the scan and go. I literally scan and pay in store. I don't even have to go to the checkout line and I just dip.

[Abigail]

Oh, it's always a line.

[Addie]

No, I never have to wait in line. No, it's a hack.

[Abigail]

Okay. Catch me swapping my membership.

[Addie]

Yeah, it's. It's a nice system over there. So, yeah, just like things like that. A lot things. And cj. Yeah, we were just having a hard day, so we made it. We got here.

[Abigail]

Those kids will do that.

[Addie]

Yeah. You know, they take naps when they wake up.

[Abigail]

Better. So neither of my kids are nappy today, so no problem. Hard for me. My back hurts really bad.

[Addie]

Really?

[Abigail]

Like actually really bad. Kind of made me wonder if he's in a sunny side up position because don't people have more back pain?

[Addie]

I don't know. Abby, you were doing hurdles and pike jumps yesterday. So I just kind of. Maybe it's that, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, maybe it's just exercise.

[Abigail]

I need to stop that. But it's weird. That stuff does not hurt me. Well, maybe I just am not thinking about it in those times. But yeah, driving in my car, I'm like, how do I get my back? It hurts. Up high.

[Addie]

Weird.

[Abigail]

Really weird. And sitting and watching a show. I'm standing. I'm standing, you guys.

[Addie]

Oh, no.

[Abigail]

I'm watching Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. Literally stand. Standing on my feet, just hunched over.

[Addie]

No hands on your knees. You're like, yeah.

[Abigail]

Or then I get down on all fours. I was literally around my dad yesterday. I was like, I'm. One second.

[Addie]

Yeah, get on that ball.

[Abigail]

I don't have a ball. I gotta get a ball.

[Addie]

You gotta get a ball. I would give you mine, but mine's way too big.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, I sat on a ball a lot.

[Addie]

I sat on a ball.

[Abigail]

I sat on a ball.

[Addie]

Cuz you can kind of rotate and wiggle and move and get your position right.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Addie]

I felt very bitter towards Caleb at the end of my pregnancy when I. He would be like just sitting on the couch relaxing and I was on the floor doing exercises and bouncing on my ball. I'm like, I'm actually training right now. And you're chilling and it's 10 o'.

[Caller]

Clock.

[Addie]

I'm aggravated.

[Abigail]

I don't know how I'm gonna be towards like the home stretch like that because I feel like people say you're better off just resting because you're about to be so exhausted. To like, what do you mean to all that?

[Addie]

How are you supposed to rest?

[Abigail]

Oh, well, you're doing ball exercises. Yeah.

[Addie]

You're prepping for labor. What do you leave me resting? Like laying on down?

[Abigail]

Yeah, like resting.

[Addie]

No, laying down is just not comfortable at that point. Jealous of Caleb because I wanted to be chilling and I just couldn't.

[Abigail]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Why?

[Addie]

You should get a pregnancy pillow. Maybe that's why your back hurts. You need to support your belly. Maybe it's like pulling on your back.

[Abby Howard]

I. That is. Is what I liked about my pregnancy pillow. Was it being behind me?

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

So you can lean back a little bit more.

[Abigail]

That's the only time I actually feel kind of good though. But maybe you're right. Like it's lingering effects into the next day.

[Addie]

Maybe. I don't know. I don't know.

[Abigail]

Bad.

[Addie]

I'm sorry. It's frustrating.

[Abigail]

It is Frustrating. Actually.

[Abby Howard]

Can I share? Hard. I was up from 2 to 3:30am this morning. For what? No reason.

[Addie]

Oh, insomnia.

[Abby Howard]

I was texting you back. I was texting Matt and he was responding to me. He's like, why are you awake right now?

[Addie]

Yeah, he's in Turkey.

[Abby Howard]

He's in a different time. But I was like, why can't I sleep right now? My brain was dreaming visual beauty. And then I woke up and it was thinking about visual beauty.

[Caller]

Same.

[Abby Howard]

And then I was just, do you

[Abigail]

wanna sleep on the couch?

[Abby Howard]

I was like, maybe.

[Caller]

Maybe.

[Addie]

Oh, my gosh. Well, we are recording this before launch, so we're still before launch.

[Abigail]

Two days.

[Addie]

Is that your hope? What's your hope?

[Abigail]

Yeah, that's my hope.

[Addie]

Am I just giving you a hope? Sorry.

[Abigail]

That's my hope. There's a finish line. There's a finish in two days.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Addie]

That's hopeful.

[Abigail]

Yeah, it is hopeful.

[Addie]

My hopeful was that my lashes, I thought, looked really good.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Are you wearing.

[Addie]

I've been wearing it for three days. I love it, you guys. I love it.

[Abby Howard]

It's so good. And I'm not just saying that.

[Addie]

And the coming off. It's tubing.

[Abigail]

It is. I was scared to, like, promote that a ton because I have never, like, actually, like, when I remove my makeup, I use an oil cleanser. So I'm not like, you know, I mean, like, using the water. And then I didn't do that, but

[Addie]

it just comes off really easy.

[Abigail]

It comes off in little clumps.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And it comes off super easy. When I wear other ones, it would just, like, turn my whole face black. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And it wasn't, like, all coming off. I'd wake up in the morning, I'd be like, under my eyes, this one comes right off.

[Addie]

Yeah. It's so nice.

[Abigail]

And I think also with the tubing quality, it lasts all day better.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. I told you this a while ago too. And I was like, I'm gonna try it out. Because I don't take off my makeup. I was like, I wonder how it's gonna last in the morning. And it was still on. It wasn't like, it didn't or anything like that. So it lasted me all day.

[Abigail]

Great combo of lasting all day and also being easy to remove.

[Addie]

I don't know. So do you guys ever wonder sometimes when something comes out and you're like, why did it take them so long to fix that problem?

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Addie]

Like, why did no one think we

[Abigail]

just made peace with them?

[Addie]

We literally just made peace with the pain. I told the girls the other day, I said, I have a business idea. Turns out it's a bad business idea. But I said we should make a water bottle with two lids, one for the mom and one for the child so that we don't have to swap spit on straws. But I was informed that the germs are just probably in the cup from backwash.

[Caller]

Right.

[Addie]

But in my head I was like, that's a problem that we're just putting up with. So maybe if someone has a way to filter germs, you could make a

[Abigail]

million dollars between you and your child.

[Addie]

Yeah. Giving you an idea. You're an inventor.

[Abigail]

There you go. Take it if you will.

[Addie]

Take it or leave it.

[Abigail]

Yeah, we'll be interested to see how this all does, you know, we'll see. I literally was thinking about it because I went back to my email to when we had a call with some like businessmen and I was like, hey, I have this, like, obviously it's not like, what do you call this? Like I like a genius out of the blue idea. Like people, we've all, we all wear mascara, most of us. But I was like, I just feel like there's like something we're missing. Like I feel like there's a product that we could do it and I think it'd be. I think we could do it really well. And then like these men on this call were like, that's really dumb.

[Addie]

It's never gonna work. Are you serious?

[Abigail]

Yeah, I'm not gonna name them, but they, they were like, that'll never work. So now I'm like, I'm interested to see three years later prove em all.

[Addie]

That's some motivation.

[Abby Howard]

I didn't.

[Addie]

Yeah, that's some motiv that'll drive you. Let me tell ya. I'm excited to see you. Want to take me off? Tell me I can't do it. I know you're like that.

[Abigail]

Like, I was kind of just like, okay, I think you're wrong.

[Addie]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Abigail]

We'll see. I'm like, if anything, I want a better mascara. So. Yeah, I got it.

[Addie]

What do you think makes it better?

[Abigail]

I literally just. Because when I would wear mascara before, I always felt like I had to compromise on something. So like when I had found the mascara that I like loved, I still felt like I needed to wear a primer with it to get the volume and like the length I wanted. I like a little drama with my lashes. Like, I mean, I'll layer it on and I always feel Like, I needed a primer to achieve that. This one is so buildable all on its own. But then also, I feel like when I had found a formula, I was like, okay with a primer. And this one. I really like the way my lashes end up looking. It wouldn't stay that way, first of all. Like, they would get really heavy, so I'd curl my lashes, and then by the end of the day, like, everything was just kind of melting down, mixing with my under eye concealer and just, like, creating a mess by the end of the day, and they just didn't look as good. And so this one really lasts, like, all day. And I think it's really great. Especially, like, we're living. Living in a hot climate.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And I'm really.

[Addie]

If they stay up, they stay up. Yeah. It's so exciting.

[Abigail]

There's always something.

[Addie]

Do you remember in 2016 when people would wear, like, four different mascaras? Like, they layer a lengthening and then a volumizing, and then they do primers, you know, remember when people would do that?

[Abigail]

Oh, I probably did that.

[Addie]

I know.

[Abigail]

You felt like you had to expensive to get what you wanted.

[Addie]

So many tubes of mascara.

[Abigail]

Seriously. And it really is just super long lasting. Yeah. I've used the same tube for a while.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And I wear it every single day.

[Addie]

Yay.

[Abigail]

And last thing, mascara for me is, like, also the one thing my makeup bag that I could wear on its own. And I feel put together and like. Like, I'm like, oh, I feel kind of feminine and ready for my day. Whereas I don't know if there's another singular makeup product that I could wear, like, in isolation, where I'm like, okay, that really did something right there where I feel like. Like, it opens my eyes up so much and, yeah. Gives me my personality. But yeah, I'm really excited.

[Addie]

Yeah. What if guys wear mascara?

[Abby Howard]

I know.

[Abigail]

I keep wanting to put it on my kids because they have amazing lashes.

[Addie]

Literally the best lashes I've ever seen on Augie's lashes are insane.

[Abigail]

That just for several reasons. We're not gonna do that. The temptation is.

[Addie]

That'd be so fun. I love it. Do we have any life updates?

[Abigail]

Well, we kind of do need to circle back because I did leave everyone on a little bit of a hanger saying about date night. My thoughts on the Dr. Mom, do we care?

[Addie]

Is that what the name of the movie is?

[Abby Howard]

Yes.

[Abigail]

Yeah, the name is. The name of the movie is called the Drama.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abigail]

Because in our notes for this, it says, thoughts on the Drama.

[Addie]

Yeah. When I read it, I was like.

[Abigail]

Like, there's some family drama.

[Addie]

I was like, wow, what's happening?

[Abigail]

Literally no drama is happening.

[Addie]

Okay, perfect.

[Abigail]

But this movie, do we care?

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, I care.

[Abigail]

Okay.

[Addie]

Just give it.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Okay, so the movie is the drama with Zendaya and Robert Pattinson. Why do I feel like people say Patterson?

[Addie]

Anytime I hear Patterson, I just think of that. That's a Raven episode where their baby. Remember this one?

[Abby Howard]

No.

[Addie]

No. Okay. It was their Halloween. Never mind. It's okay.

[Abigail]

I probably seen it.

[Addie]

Yeah. It was the babysitter at the Patterson.

[Abigail]

So I was really drawn to the movie because of. I, like, love Zendaya. Then also, why have I never said the way people ask, like, dream guests on a podcast? Like, of course it's gonna be Tom Holland and Zendaya. It's never gonna happen.

[Addie]

Are they still dating? Oh, my God.

[Abigail]

They're like, the cutest couple ever. Abby.

[Abby Howard]

Secretly married. They never posted or said anything.

[Abigail]

They're so low.

[Addie]

Okay, so I don't think it's weird that I don't know that.

[Abigail]

Yeah, well, now people talk together.

[Abby Howard]

Right now. They're in a Spider man movie, too, in the Odyssey.

[Addie]

That's cute. They do all these movies together.

[Abby Howard]

Well, not a lot, but they do

[Abigail]

Spider man when they do it together. It's really sweet.

[Addie]

That's really cute.

[Abigail]

They're really cool. Like, I kind of actually enjoy. I don't really get into, like, behind the scenes of, like, actors and stuff, and I'm like, I really like them.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

I just think she has a great head on her shoulders. Abby, are you getting naked? My shirt was fully tucked into my scatterbrained. I'm so the movie. Though I will say, here's my thoughts in a nutshell.

[Addie]

I

[Abigail]

never want to see it again. I didn't know how to think afterwards. I didn't know how to feel. Matt and I didn't talk to each other because it's really weird. Yeah. So the. The concept of the movie starts off like a rom com, and I was really loving that. And then all of a sudden, it just takes a turn. I'll give you the premise. So there's like a. They're about to get married, and they. Well, they meet, they date. It's really cute. They get engaged, and then they're, like, a week before their wedding, they're trying out wedding or, like, wedding dinner menu items and wines, and they're with another couple that has already been. That already got married, like, a couple years before, and they're like, we did this before our wedding. And it was really good for us. Like, we just confess the worst thing we've ever done to each other. And they're like, let's play it right now. And so they go around the table and it ends on Zendaya's character. And the things people are confessing are actually, like, kind of dark. They're not, like, funny. Like, haha. Like, they're like, kind of dark. And then. But then it gets to Zendaya's character and it's really dark. And it kind of, like, uproots their relationship because, like, she now feels really weird that people weren't, like, shaking it off. And then he's spiraling because he's like, who am I about to, like, marry Mary, spend the rest of my life with? And then it just starts getting more and more twisted. And the movie is very artistic. I would say it's more like an indie film. I don't really know what that means, but it felt like that. Like, very artistic.

[Abby Howard]

It's.

[Abigail]

You're doing a lot of, like, implying, like, I don't know, it's.

[Addie]

Is it considered a psychological thriller?

[Abigail]

No, I don't. What's it considered? Maybe it is.

[Addie]

Maybe a psychological.

[Abigail]

I couldn't put this movie in a box. I'm gonna be so honest with you. I. I got no box for it.

[Addie]

And maybe that's why.

[Abigail]

Maybe I'm just not cultural enough. Cultural artsy enough.

[Addie]

Oh, okay. Okay. You like things to fit in a box in your tv? Yeah, I was like, I kind of

[Abigail]

wanted to either laugh or feel lovey or end on a good note or cry or end or be scared. Scared. Like this one. I literally did not know how to feel interesting. But I respect what they did so much. I was like, it was very well done. Never want to see it again.

[Addie]

It kind of makes me want to watch it. And I don't. Like, maybe you should.

[Abigail]

Maybe you should. I mean, honestly, maybe you should. But I don't know. I can't really say that, you know? Never felt more confused.

[Addie]

What, did you watch it on Netflix?

[Abigail]

It's on Apple tv. But you have to. This is what I meant. You do have to pay for it. Even on. It's on these streaming services, but you do.

[Addie]

Is it new?

[Abby Howard]

It's weird.

[Abigail]

Oh, yeah. It's pretty new.

[Addie]

Yeah. What's it considered? What genre?

[Abby Howard]

Well, it's not giving me. It's saying it's core care. It. The core characteristics are character development, conflict and realism. Sub ones are crime drama, historical drama, romantic drama, and Dramedy.

[Addie]

Okay, so all of them. So drama. Love it when they narrow it down.

[Abby Howard]

Drama is under drama.

[Abigail]

It's drama.

[Addie]

It's a drama. You know what? I love dramaties.

[Abigail]

Like what?

[Addie]

Drama comedies.

[Abby Howard]

Like what?

[Addie]

No, I know. I have no examples.

[Abigail]

I'm like, yeah, I like that.

[Addie]

But what have.

[Abigail]

Yeah, that made me feel really weird. And someone on Patreon too was like, I don't like it was good, but I never want to. I never would recommend it to anybody. I'm like, yeah, I feel that way.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abigail]

It doesn't end in a pleasing way. Like, it doesn't end in a bad way either. It just ends.

[Addie]

And you're like, ah. Yeah. You're like, good, good. Goodness.

[Abigail]

I was scared.

[Addie]

Okay. Perfect. Yeah. I think it is interesting to think about, like, we started dating Matt and Caleb in high school. I didn't have to learn that much about his life beforehand.

[Abigail]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Addie]

So that is, like, interesting. I mean, majority of people meet later in their life, you know, 20s, 30s, 40s. And that's a lot of life you've lived before you start dating your significant other. That's true.

[Abigail]

I think about that a lot because you see those tiktoks, they're like. I'm just realizing that I just, like, married and I was spending my entire life with someone that was once a stranger to me.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And I don't feel that as much because I was like, your prefrontal cortex still had about 10 years to go.

[Addie]

Yeah, we had a long time ago. We actually made dumb decisions together.

[Abigail]

We did that a while. Yeah. I actually. Our husbands were talking at Griffin's birthday party. Like, my prefrontal cortex just finished.

[Addie]

They love talking about that.

[Abigail]

Really reassuring.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

We just have started a whole family and your brain was just, you know,

[Addie]

it was just figuring it out.

[Abigail]

It was ripening. I'm scared.

[Addie]

I think it was out my parents, because they had us later. Like, I think my mom was 35 when she had me, and so I didn't really even know my parents, like, when I was older. I remember them in their 40s the most and their 50s. So I don't even know my parents the first 40 years of their life, really. Whereas CJ, he's gonna know me in my 30s, you know, I don't know. It's just an interesting. I have no idea what my parents just based off what they told me.

[Abigail]

They were fun.

[Addie]

Yeah, they were. But also, I think they're liars, so I don't know. Who knows? I'm learning A lot more now that I'm older. You also saw George Washington.

[Abigail]

Oh, yeah. I cried.

[Addie]

I Fourth of July. I was like, oh, I didn't realize you were such a patriot. You were so fired up from this movie.

[Abigail]

Well, you should know that. I was very fired up. You had to be there, guys. We were in the front row on the 4th of July. Everyone was clapping. I thought I should stand up.

[Addie]

At one point, they started chanting, usa.

[Caller]

No.

[Addie]

No. Okay.

[Abigail]

It was just a very. It was just a very great moment in history. Honestly, I learned a lot. Matt said, maybe we. Because we're trying to decide what. We were literally deciding between that movie and the obsession, which. Have you heard about this one?

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, I want to watch it.

[Abigail]

Yeah. We were deciding between those two. Nothing alike.

[Abby Howard]

No.

[Abigail]

And then we were like, oh, that's the Fourth of July. But Matt goes, but we know what's gonna happen. I said, don't be too sure. I might be surprised by some plot points.

[Addie]

Sure. Anywhere.

[Abigail]

I learned some things.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

I mean, this is before his presidency, so I was learning some things for sure. We always humbled in some ways.

[Addie]

How do they know these things about the George Washington?

[Abigail]

How do they know anything about history? Abigail.

[Abby Howard]

They write it down.

[Abigail]

I think people lied a lot. I was like, how do we trust that they did lie in the movie? There was liars, like in war. Yes.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Anyway, I shed some tears. I was crying.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Addie]

I had some tears.

[Abigail]

And Matt was like, are you okay? I was like, this is beautiful. I was just like, man, people really just sacrifice their life for our country.

[Addie]

That.

[Abigail]

That really impacted me.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Abigail]

It got me in the. On the fourth.

[Addie]

No, it is. That's always.

[Abigail]

I mean, very well done movie. Very well done movie. You're gonna have to learn some things, though.

[Addie]

I would actually like to watch that. I think that's something Caleb and I both agree on. We both enjoy history or war movies.

[Abigail]

It's not graphic, and it's not like some more movies are like, whoa, yeah. No, it's not graphic. I think it was very.

[Addie]

Isn't it crazy? Think they used to fight like that, just in lines, and then they'd walk. Isn't that insane?

[Abigail]

I kind of felt bad for the horses, and I feel bad even saying that.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Addie]

I mean, I felt bad for everyone.

[Abigail]

I feel bad for everyone. I was like, this looks freaking miserable. You're getting sick. It's cold.

[Addie]

Very brave.

[Abigail]

And I also kind of just forgot about the whole French people being here.

[Addie]

They were here.

[Abigail]

Yeah. I mean, they probably. No, we were against them.

[Addie]

Oh, and then they gave us the Statue of Liberty.

[Abigail]

I guess if we're the British, there's just three groups of people in this movie. There was the natives, there was French people, and then the British people here that everyone wanted a piece of this. There was a powerful moment at the end when George Washington comes out in blue because that was the color of Virginia at this point point. Because oh yeah, there's so many quotes. Wait, I'm rambling way too much about this. But he was like, hey, this is not my land is in is across the ocean. He's like, well, this land is our land.

[Addie]

Oh.

[Abigail]

And then he wanted to change uniforms and he to blue because they were wearing red before and that was kind of like what they wore like the British traditional. Like that was like their soldiers uniforms. And he's like, I do have one change I want to make. And. And they come out in blue, which was the color Virginia. And so he's like basically like no longer fighting for this man overseas. Like the king. He is like, now we are like establishing our own. He's like, I'm here to serve you guys, not some king over in the ocean. Across the ocean. And so it was a. It was a very powerful moment. Yeah.

[Addie]

Thank you to Chili Pad for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

[Abigail]

I will talk about Chili Pad until everyone's sick of me. Because it has seriously changed the game for our sleep. And you spend a lot of your day asleep. I mean actually about majority of your life. And getting good quality sleep is really important. Especially as a parent. If you are getting a chance to close your eyes like you want that

[Addie]

you want to stay restful. Yeah.

[Abigail]

Nothing is more annoying than when you're waking up in the night, sweaty, hot and uncomfortable. That will cause the most wake ups for me. Honestly, truthfully, that was pre chilly pad days. I think about my life in pre chili pad, post chili pad.

[Addie]

I think about my mattress pad, pre chili pad yellow sweat stains.

[Abigail]

That is exactly why we want to tell you about the chili pad 2.0 by Sleep Me. It is the most advanced version yet of the bed cooling system built specifically for people who are tired of waking up hot and sweaty. The Chilipad 2.0 actively cools or warms your bed using water. It's basically a thermostat for your bed and water is the key here. Fans just. Just move hot air around. But the chilipad actually uses chilled water to cool the bed, pulling heat away from your body. And it works with your existing mattress.

[Addie]

So no new bed needed visit www.sleep.me always here to get up to $255 off your Chili Pad 2.0 with code always Here. This special offer is available for the Always Here listeners and only for a limited time. So order it today with free shipping and try it out for 30 days. You can return it for free if you don't like it with their sleep trial, visit www.sleep S L eep.me/always here and never wake up hot and tired again. These last two episodes have revealed to me that I do not remember anything.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Addie]

High school.

[Abby Howard]

About history.

[Addie]

That's why I was, like, a little

[Abby Howard]

embarrassed during that conversation. I did not.

[Abigail]

Should we start, like, a little.

[Addie]

We should start a little homeschool for us.

[Abigail]

We hire a tutor for the moms.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Because it's like, we're in charge of. I considered homeschooling.

[Addie]

No, I've never considered that.

[Abigail]

I'm like, actually, wait a minute. That's like a comedian. Not of the calling the comedian at neighbor gets. He's like, I was homeschooled.

[Addie]

He's like.

[Abigail]

He said it turns out wasn't the best thing because now I know just everything my mom knows.

[Addie]

Right.

[Abby Howard]

Turns out that's not enough.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Addie]

He did well for himself.

[Abby Howard]

I could never homeschool. It would have to be blank. I'm dumb.

[Addie]

No, you're not.

[Abby Howard]

I don't retain information.

[Abigail]

I think it'd be a good opportunity for me to also learn.

[Addie]

I honestly be like, wow, that's amazing.

[Abby Howard]

I'd be interested to do math.

[Addie]

Like, running off.

[Abigail]

Literally everything is a shock.

[Addie]

That's so fun.

[Abigail]

Okay, well, this episode, we are letting you guys take the floor.

[Addie]

Yeah, we are.

[Abigail]

We're doing a voicemail only episode.

[Addie]

Exciting.

[Abigail]

Which I love these because it's just really cool to get to hear from you guys. As always, but especially for a whole episode.

[Abby Howard]

I know.

[Addie]

It's fun.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. Okay, we're gonna start with health and beauty. We're gonna start it off hot with this question.

[Addie]

Oh, wait.

[Caller]

Hi, Abby. Abby and Addy. My name is Abby, and I'm from Alberta, Canada. My question for you guys today is, what type of mascara do you guys like to use? And other little makeup products. I want to start using more for myself, but more natural. So if you guys have any recommendations, that'd be awesome. Love listening to you guys. Cake. Bye.

[Abigail]

I love that you asked that question.

[Abby Howard]

No.

[Abigail]

Yeah. I was saying today when I was like, I've always hid my mascara off screen. Doing my makeup videos.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Because I've literally been wearing some form of this formula for a year and a half. So it's cool to like be able to bring it on screen. Oh, but I have been wearing whatever. Like we've, we went through so many different tweaks and edits of the formula. Yeah. But some version of it. I've worn it for like a year and a half at this point.

[Addie]

Yep.

[Abigail]

But and I will say you can make it really natural. Just do one quick coat and it'll look really natural.

[Addie]

So good. I built it up today. I did two coats cuz I wanted it to come up on camera. But I like that you can wear it more natural or you can make it more dramatic. I love that. No, I've been wearing B beauty.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Addie]

That's it, baby.

[Abigail]

Products that are like more natural, that like merit and Ilia I think of as like really great ones even. Well people is a more affordable version that has like clean ingredients.

[Addie]

Oh, cool.

[Abigail]

Yeah, they're sold on Amazon but I also think they're sold in Target.

[Addie]

Nice. I also really like the Versed you can get at Target. I love their under eye concealer. It's really hydrating and I have no idea if it's cleaner ingredients. I think it is but they're available at Target and more affordable too. And I feel like it kind of has the same effect as Ilia where it's really natural looking, looks like my skin but better. But I feel like it has good coverage for my under eyes and it's really hydrating. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Verse, that was the other. One of the other questions was favorite product for your under eyes.

[Addie]

Oh, you just got it perfect.

[Caller]

Hey Abby and Abby, My name is Sydney. I am a local East Valley AZ girlie as well. And I was just calling to ask how you guys walked into the gym for the first time. And it may sound dumb, but it is the scariest thing I've gone to burn. But I just can't get myself to go inside just because of nerves. And you always feel like people are looking at you. So I'm just curious on how you guys just feel able to just do it.

[Abigail]

Bring a friend with you. That'll make it a lot easier. Honestly, I think the first time I went I didn't have a friend going in and I probably felt more nervous doing that. But if you're like, hey, it'd be really fun if we like try out this workout class together. Like it would make it so much easier just to have someone you already know going into that that space. Chances are they'll love it too. And then they'll sign up, and then you can always go with them. Yeah, but I guarantee, like, even after one class, at least with our gym, like, the community is so strong that you. That feeling will go away quickly. Or you're like, I'll always have someone I can wave to or smile at or say hi to when I walk in the gym. Your confidence just grows the more you prove to yourself that you can do it too.

[Addie]

Totally. Well, I like that about burn that they don't. I actually like that they don't have mirrors, because I feel like you're not focused on yourself or other people. You're just focused on the workout. I think that's something that I remind myself a lot because sometimes I wear shorts. This has been happening lately. But wearing these flowy shorts. And I get a little insecure sometimes because they ride up if I'm laying down and I'm like, oh, my gosh, people can see right up my shorts, and I'll hold them and stuff. But then I'm like, I'm never. I can't even look at other people when I'm exercising. Because you're doing your exercise. Like, you're not even able to watch others. So then it kind of helps me relax. Like, no one is actually looking at me when I'm doing this. So I think just reminding yourself that no one is looking at you, and maybe it feels that way. And I think I went and I stood in the back my first time at the gym, like, back. And I was nervous going back after postpartum, too. Just, like, unsure of how things were going to feel. And I knew it was going to be hard. But after about a week, your body gets used to it. You start to feel better, you keep going, your confidence gets better, and it's just pushing through those initial nerves. But also, you can modify anything at any gym you do. You can always modify it to make it as hard or not as hard as you want. And I think knowing that you have that freedom to do that is. Can also help your nerves.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Addie]

Take it.

[Abigail]

If my mom can do it, you can do it. And she would say this, too. I'm not just trying to put her down. She has zero gym confidence. Like, because she. I don't know if she actually did a workout until she was almost 50.

[Abby Howard]

Mm.

[Abigail]

Yeah, I don't know if she did. Yeah. And she showed up, and she's pushing herself out. She even tried to pull up the other day, and that was really outside of her comfort zone.

[Addie]

Wow, that's exciting.

[Abigail]

Saying like, you just gotta think about that.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Think about Lori when you're feeling insecure.

[Abby Howard]

I was gonna say that, too. With Burn specifically, you give. They tell you to give someone a high five at least 10 times every single workout you're there. So you're meeting someone or at least interacting with someone. And I feel like that can make you feel, like, less alone or like, because there are other people just encouraging you around you. I high five people I don't know all the time. Just keep moving on and go through your workout. So I think that. And the. The trainers will know your name. If it's your first time there, they'll ask you and they will probably say your name while you're working out. Like.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

It will make you feel less alone than that. Going to a gym specifically, that, like, not burn is a little. Definitely more intimidating. If you've never been. I would say if you've never been, walk in, go on a treadmill. Just walk on a treadmill. Look around. No one else is looking at you, but you look at them and see what they're doing. Learn from just walking on the treadmill. Look at. Oh, that's how that machine works. Or this. And start, like, familiarizing yourself with what that looks like. And then maybe have a plan of what you're going to. Okay. Next time I'm just going to go do bicep curls so I'm a little closer to the cable so I can see what kind of exercises those people are doing. You're looking at them to learn. You're not looking at them to judge. And that's probably exactly how other people are looking at you.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

So that's good advice.

[Addie]

That's really good advice. Addy, you pull up TikTok.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Addie]

How to do a cable machine. No, seriously, I've done that so many times.

[Caller]

Yeah. Like how?

[Addie]

I'm very, very familiar workout ideas.

[Abby Howard]

I'm very familiar in a. In a typical gym and there are still machines or things that I'm like, how does that. I don't know how that works.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

So it's so normal.

[Addie]

The more you go, the more comfortable you get.

[Caller]

Yeah. Hi, Abby's Maddie. I am nine weeks postpartum, and I just want your advice on going back to working out postpartum, specifically with strengthening your pelvic floor. Every time that I try running, I pee a little. So I need help anyway. Thank you.

[Abigail]

I wear black leggings.

[Addie]

Yeah, Black leggings. I didn't run. I couldn't run until I feel like running. Didn't really feel good until it was at least six months postpartum. Like, I would do it, but it didn't feel good or natural until a little bit farther out. So don't be discouraged by that because, yeah, you're. Everything's still healing up and tightening up, and with time, I think it does get better.

[Abigail]

Well, my advice for getting back into exercise postpartum is to just get yourself a new workout outfit that fits your body right now and one that you really, like, feel good in, and that will excite you. I even recommend getting new tennis shoes. Heck, that is a great. I feel like this was controversial, but I was like, matt, for my push present, I really want an aloe yoga set and new hokas. He's like, well, you're gonna have to

[Addie]

tell people that you gotta clean.

[Abigail]

I was like, I know. I was like, that's just really what I want. And I felt like that, like, really, like, gave me. Because it is a. It's a time where things are not going to feel right. Look right, like. And so just having something new, like, to make it exciting and motivate me. And. Yeah, I've never done, like, a pelvic floor program.

[Abby Howard]

Probably.

[Abigail]

Should I pee a lot?

[Addie]

There are so many good free resources online. Like, if you just go on YouTube and type in, like, pelvic floor, pregnant postpartum pelvic floor exercises, you can do that. And I remember maybe after cj, I would go and just do some stuff. Like, I'd walk, I do a couple strength exercises, and then I would go and I would do a couple pelvic floor things on the floor. I think it's just easing in. You have to remember you still have relaxing in your joints and stuff. So everything feels just loose and stretched out, like, in your joints. I mean, I hurt my knee and my shoulder. So just do what I didn't do and take it easy. Take it.

[Abigail]

I just realized I did do a. What's it called? What's it called when they're, like, a trainer? Like, they do physical therapy.

[Addie]

Oh,

[Abigail]

is that right? I had a private session with someone after having Griffin about, like, how to do movements that wasn't going to, like, hurt my core more. And I think that was specifically because I also had a hernia, and I knew I was gonna have to really adjust to the mesh then after that. And a lot of it is literally, like, just remembering, like, trying to, like, they say, like, zip up from, like, your, like, bladder up. Like, zip up and, like, support all of that, because all of it Is, like, probably still detached. I feel like it takes a long time for that to, like.

[Addie]

I feel like it's just healing for me.

[Abigail]

Yeah. And so, yeah, think about, like, zipping up and, like, take a breath before literally every move, any movement, because it all uses your core. Because it's easy to just like, relax that and then just hurt that gap more.

[Addie]

Hurt your back and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Just trust yourself. I feel like, you know what?

[Addie]

You know, it feels weird.

[Abby Howard]

If it starts to feel weird, don't do it. Wait a little bit longer.

[Addie]

Modify.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. Okay. That's it for health and beauty. So we're gonna go to kids and family. Yay.

[Addie]

I went to the gym postpartum, but I don't think I, like, consistently went until I was at least four months postpartum, where I was, like, back in the routine. Like, I would go, but things didn't feel, like, good, good until. Well, after four months.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. There's a lot of things I didn't do or I modified or.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

A lot of the core days. Gosh. No core.

[Abigail]

Hi, Abby.

[Caller]

Abby and Abby. I lay awake at night every night thinking about what my future baby name will be. My last name is Stark, and it is really important to me to have a really cool name that goes really well with that. So love all your kid names. Any suggestions are welcome. Bye.

[Addie]

That's so fun.

[Abigail]

Her last name is Stark.

[Abby Howard]

Stark.

[Abigail]

Okay, well, my first advice would be to look up the entire Stark family from the Game of Thrones and don't do those.

[Addie]

Don't name your kids that. What are they? What are they?

[Abby Howard]

Arya, We've got Ned, Caitlin, Tully, Rob, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Rick, Ricken.

[Addie]

That's a family.

[Abby Howard]

And Jon Snow. Can't be Jon.

[Abigail]

You just gotta make sure it's none of those. Okay.

[Addie]

Stark is a strong name.

[Abigail]

It is a strong name.

[Addie]

That's a good last name.

[Abigail]

Well, it's hard. I don't know what your brand is, you know? I know.

[Abby Howard]

Does Stark also remind me of Iron Man? Is that.

[Addie]

She said she likes unique, right?

[Abby Howard]

She likes cool.

[Addie]

Cool.

[Abigail]

Okay. I might. I don't know about cool.

[Abby Howard]

Sterling Stark.

[Addie]

Smith Stark. No, I don't like that.

[Abigail]

Stark actually does put you in a difficult spot in a way. It's a great position to be in. But that is a. That is such a strong last name. It does put the pressure on.

[Addie]

Yeah, it does. Okay, let's do one girl name and one boy name.

[Abby Howard]

It.

[Abigail]

It's got to have more than one syllable, right?

[Addie]

Yeah, because, like, Sam. I like Sam. Stark. That sounds kind of cool.

[Abby Howard]

It's not cool.

[Addie]

Oh, that's a one syllable example.

[Abigail]

You know, that feels like a comic book.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, I wasn't even thinking of girls.

[Addie]

I know. It just seems like a boy name, doesn't it? I'm curious what her husband's name is.

[Abigail]

I really think it needs to be like three syllables because you think about like Jocelyn Stark, like it kind of fits more, but Jocelyn isn't like necessarily quote unquote cool. But like, what's a longer? Because Stark feels like punctuation. It's got to have some kind of flow and then boom.

[Addie]

Okay, yes.

[Abigail]

Let's look up three syllable names.

[Addie]

I can't think of a single name.

[Abigail]

I mean, how seriously did you want us to take this

[Addie]

research? Can I look up the Internet on this iPad?

[Abby Howard]

Yes.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abigail]

Okay, well, this is.

[Abby Howard]

How about you guys do that service?

[Addie]

Isabella Stark is a great name.

[Abigail]

It is.

[Addie]

Aurora Stark.

[Abby Howard]

I still feel like those aren't unique. Okay, so I guess not unique.

[Caller]

Cool.

[Abigail]

They sound really good though.

[Addie]

Camille Stark is a good name. Lily Stark is a great name.

[Abby Howard]

I do like that.

[Addie]

Yeah, I like that.

[Abigail]

Sheridan. That's kind of a cute name. Anderson Stark. For a boy maybe. I like the name Anderson.

[Abby Howard]

Our synopsis is three syllables.

[Abigail]

I'm gonna sit on this one and I'm gonna really take this seriously.

[Addie]

Veronica Stark is good.

[Abby Howard]

That's strong.

[Abigail]

Yeah, I like Veronica Stark.

[Addie]

That sounds like a book.

[Abigail]

Like a book that sounds like. What's it called? Riverdale.

[Addie]

I love that. I love Veronica Stark. She's a character I love.

[Abigail]

Do it.

[Addie]

Did you think of a boy? Did you find a boy? One you like?

[Abigail]

Is it Anderson?

[Addie]

Anderson Stark. That's cool. Love that.

[Abigail]

That's so fun.

[Addie]

What a fun question.

[Abigail]

Okay, so do we get to be the godmothers?

[Caller]

Hey, Abby, Eddie and Addie. I am calling because I have a Mexico trip in two weeks with a four year old and a three year old. Usually they wake up at eight, but we'll be waking them up at four. Or for our four and a half hour flight, please give me any tips. I did watch your travel episode. I just wondered if you had anything specific for waking up super early. Thanks.

[Addie]

I actually think the waking him up early is not going to be good plan. Yeah, I don't think it's going to be an issue. I'm flying this weekend and we're doing night flights. I'm scared both ways. No, no, the mornings are going to be good.

[Abigail]

The mornings are great.

[Addie]

I always expect them to fall back asleep when we wake them up at like 4 or 5am for a flight and they never do and they just sleep. They fall asleep for their nap and they're fine.

[Abigail]

And then honestly, I feel like the time zone change will do better. Yeah, you're gonna be just fine. 4 and 3. Gosh. Pop a show on, put them, put

[Addie]

on a movie, get like maybe a donut or something.

[Abigail]

I would say literally just get them dressed and get them in their car seats and then they can eat breakfast at the airport.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And just like something easy. And I don't think it'll be hard at all. No, that's honestly an ideal travel day. Okay. Not ideal because 4am is really early. But I feel like depending on how your kids wake up for me, what we do, if we have to wake them up, we turn off their sound machine first.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And then kind of let them get like in a lighter stage of sleep. Because if I feel like they could be in really deep sleep before and then that can make them really sad when they wake up.

[Addie]

We do that too.

[Abigail]

Turn off the sound machine and then just open the door and then kind of just make some noises. You're packing up the last things.

[Addie]

Yep.

[Abigail]

Just ease them into as much as you can.

[Addie]

Yeah, it'll be great. That's great advice. Exactly.

[Caller]

Hi, Abby's. I am expecting our first little one in October and I know, Abigail, you said that you have a hundred pound doodle. So do I. And I'm a little nervous. He's a really good boy. Of course, doodles are the best. But I'm just curious how you guys like transitioned with a newborn with your dog. If you could give me any advice there, that'd be great. Thanks.

[Addie]

That's a great question. I actually didn't think about it at all and I'm glad the people around me thought about it because I think my mom took a blanket of CJ's when we first got to the hospital, took it like one of his swaddles and brought it back for Lewis to sniff so that he was kind of familiar with the smell of the baby. Because the first baby Lewis wanted to lick constantly. Like cj, he was so excited there was a little tiny human in there. And then Vivian. He could have cared less. He like was used to it so that first maybe they get at least Lewis, it got really excited. So and my mom got him some new toys that he was interested. He had other things to like preoccupy him. So I think bringing the swaddle home, it's really good to get the smell, some new toys for your dog. And then I don't know. What else did you guys do?

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, we. I don't have a 100 pound dog, but I have two 75 pound dogs.

[Abigail]

That's 150 pounds.

[Abby Howard]

A small apartment. We didn't really do anything. The only thing that I can think of that we did for sure was we brought. We took the dogs. We don't have a backyard, so we took the dogs out. I had. I think I had my dad talk, take them out. We brought Brielle into the apartment and got her settled and then brought the dogs back in on their leashes to meet her for the first time. And they were fine. They were really gentle, really kind. They like whenever she would be sleeping in her little, I don't know, in her portable stuff like on our bed, the dogs would lay around her and not bother her or anything. So I didn't really have any issues. I would just say for that first introduction to have them on their leash.

[Addie]

Yeah, that's great advice. They'll be great. They'll adjust quick.

[Abby Howard]

I really think they adapt really quickly. Totally.

[Caller]

Hi, this is Cambria. I'm a longtime listener. Big fan of you guys. I just wanted to call in and ask a little parenting tip. I've got a little nine month old baby girl and I've been having a hard time figuring out naps when we go out to events or church during the day. What do you guys do to prep for events like that? Do you put them to bed before or do you have good ways to keep them entertained while you're out and about just in case?

[Addie]

Cambria Stark could be a really cool name. Still thinking about that.

[Abigail]

That's a good one.

[Addie]

That's a good name.

[Abby Howard]

You're pretty flexible.

[Addie]

I know. I. I think I kind of have an idea. She's really good at taking one nap. So. Vivian's nine months old and I feel like just because she's had to adjust with her brother schedule and like being out, she takes pretty much like a three to four hour long, one long nap a day. So I try not to schedule things around that. If we do, I'll bring stuff to prepare for her to sleep in her car seat and her duna or I can also wrap her. Like I know she feels even if she doesn't fall asleep, she feels comfortable on the wrap. So I'll wear her if I'm out during a nap time. Just doing something to make them feel as comfortable as possible. If they can't have, if they're if your baby's not good at sleeping out on the go, just doing stuff that, you know, makes them feel really comforted. So either holding them close, having pacifiers, maybe an extra bottle, you know, just things that'll make them feel really comfortable.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, I feel like I. I deal with that because our church service starts at her nap time and I'm a scheduled person, so it frustrates me. So I have had to learn to adapt and I. She sleeps really well in the car, so I just pack up an hour early, 45 minutes early, and head there and sit in the parking lot, let her get like a 30 minute nap in, and then she does fine. And then she naps on the way home, and then we just adjust the naps the rest of the day. So I would just say if you can leave buffer time for them to take a short nap in the car, I think if they get a power nap, 20 minutes, they're good to go.

[Addie]

That's a good tip. Yeah. She usually does a power nap and then her long nap in the afternoon. As long as you get one solid good nap, they're fine.

[Abigail]

Hi, Abby.

[Caller]

My name is Maddie and I love listening to your podcast. It's so awesome. And I was just wondering. So me and my husband are excited, but we're thinking about starting our family soon and I was wondering what advice you have before we choose to start our family. I went to the bookstore, got completely overwhelmed with all the different books and all the different information. So I was just wondering if you had any recommendations. Again, love the podcast.

[Addie]

Thanks. Oh, congrats. She's the best, like, personality, bubbly. Yeah. Such good energy.

[Abigail]

I think my advice would be like, don't try. I think the books, it's. You're coming from a good place, but that is not necessarily gonna serve you right now. Yeah, I think there's a time and a place for a book probably, but the best thing that you could probably do is make friends with people that have babies.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And that will be a really good, like, realistic. And also hopefully they're like, very hopeful and encouraging too. Like, and then you'll have built in community as you enter that new season that already has, like kids and they understand, like the schedules and the things that come with it, and then your babies can play together and then you have mom friends together. Yeah.

[Addie]

That's great advice.

[Abigail]

Thanks. Great advice.

[Addie]

Yeah. Seeing it in real life, I feel like that was what was a really good turning point for me was seeing you guys with Griffey and your first you know, just being able to see that life, life on life, example of it made it feel a lot more, I don't know, doable. I. If you don't have that, I don't know. I feel like this could be bad advice if you're not type B. But I feel like sometimes it's really easy to overwhelm yourself with information at the beginning. And I think something that I've experienced both times is that the process of being pregnant, going to the doctors, preparing for your pregnancy and then having your baby in the hospital, going to the pediatrician, every step of that process prepares you for your baby. Like I just felt like our doctors and nurses would told us what we need to know, our community told us what we needed to know. And then if we had questions, the Internet would help us along the way. And so you have so many resources throughout the journey to prepare. So yeah, maybe if you're just trying to get like a realistic example of what that looks like. Yeah. Peers and stuff. But yeah, I don't know if necessarily the books are going to be the best for that.

[Abigail]

I think the longer that I have been a mom, which still isn't that long, I have a 4 year old, but the more I feel like like the access, the over, like the too much access to information tunes out my personal instincts that like at first I was like, yeah, I need. Information's like so important. But I do feel like you are equipped, like you are designed to be able to meet your baby's needs. And of course we have help, we have doctors and pediatricians, all these things. But I just feel like it dulled my, like it made me not trust my instincts as much about things which now more than ever I like really do trust my instincts. So just I caution a little bit of that and I know it's coming from a good place of like I want to be prepared and know what we're doing. But just a little bit of caution. Yes, you're gonna be, you're, you're designed for this, you're made for this. So it's. Don't feel like you need to do a bunch of research beforehand.

[Addie]

I think if anything an audit of maybe a couple areas of your life. How am I, how are we financially? How are we maritally? How am I emotionally? How am I spiritually? Like maybe just do like an overview of those areas and any weak points that you see. It's like, oh, okay. Not that they had to be perfect when you don't have to wait to be perfect to start Your family. But maybe just have a plan going forward. Like, okay, financially, like, we want to start, you know, doing this, so let's just start saving in this area. And then spiritually, we want to have community with our church. So let's join a small group now so that later we have. So, I don't know, just like different areas. Maybe do an audit and have. Make a plan.

[Abigail]

That's great advice. Like, so you can show up.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

As the best version of yourself.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, I feel like. So I am a planner. I am type A. But what I have realized now, I'm. What Brielle's almost 11 months old now is that reading books about parenting or things like that don't just don't apply yet. Like, they don't. Especially if you're not even pregnant yet. Like, you can read it, but it's gonna be so different whenever you have a kid of your own. And so I would say just have fun with it at this point. And this is. I'm going into the conception conversation of like, just have fun right now. Don't worry about all the other things, like the transition of. At least for me, of being intimate with your partner. And like, trying for a baby was just like such a fun transition of like, we definitely are trying not to do that to.

[Addie]

We're trying to make freedom. We're trying to have a baby.

[Abby Howard]

Like, that's so cool. Enjoyed that fun side of. Of that transition that you're in for now. And then obviously not everyone. That doesn't work for everyone. And then there's times where you can talk to people and get advice and read books and help in those areas too. Yeah.

[Addie]

Great advice. Hi, ladies.

[Caller]

I'm Dora and my five month old just started teething, so I'm wondering if you have any tips. Thanks.

[Abigail]

Bye. Nora Stark wouldn't be too bad.

[Addie]

Nora Stark.

[Abigail]

That's so cute.

[Addie]

I love that

[Caller]

teething.

[Addie]

Gosh. To be honest, I never know when they're teething.

[Abigail]

I got away. I got off way too easy with teething.

[Addie]

They never got up until they're like, she didn't get it. Almost a year. Vivian still doesn't have her teeth. She's nine months old.

[Abigail]

My kids got them early. Then they still didn't have brill.

[Abby Howard]

Are you getting a bunch? But it's. It's not affecting her sleep.

[Abigail]

Some kids, it's not painful for, but it's painful.

[Addie]

I just give Tylenol.

[Abigail]

Yeah, well, my kids actually got me four months old, so I wasn't.

[Addie]

Yeah, you weren't gonna Give them that one.

[Abigail]

Yeah, yeah. But I. You. Haaka makes a product where you can freeze breast milk. I remember doing this because I thought it was gonna hurt him, and I. Would. You freeze in this, like, big old pacifier type thing. And so I think more than anything, cold stuff feels really good on it. Like, think about, if you're having tooth pain, like, what would feel good? So I would freeze breast milk because, I mean, they were super young. It was four months old. That's all they could have.

[Addie]

Totally.

[Abigail]

And they would suck on that a lot, and I think that helped. And then also, when they're a little older, I mean, you could give them, like, popsicles, Pedialyte.

[Addie]

Just love those Teether plates.

[Abigail]

Or those. The Haka thing. You can freeze. You can free. We would freeze fruit in it. And then they could suck on that, too. Yeah, yeah. Tylenol.

[Addie]

I've never had to do anything. I've only. I only gave Vivian. I think I gave her ibuprofen once because I thought she was having a lot of teeth pain at night. Woke her up in the middle of the night, she was screaming. So I'm like, I'm not gonna go freeze. I don't have anything frozen. So I just did that. And then for cj, I think I gave medicine once for pain with teething. So, yeah, I feel like I got off kind of easy, too. They would just chew on everything.

[Abigail]

Yeah, I had a lot of chewing nurse then, too.

[Addie]

Yeah, just a lot of chewing things.

[Abby Howard]

Okay.

[Addie]

Sorry.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, I know I don't have much there either. Dating and marriage.

[Addie]

Yay.

[Abby Howard]

We just have a couple questions in this one.

[Caller]

Hey, Abby, my question for you is, would you choose comfort over community? My husband and I live in California, and we're considering moving out of state. To be able to afford a more comfortable life, however, we would have to leave our family and community. If you were in our shoes, what would you do? Thanks.

[Addie]

Love you guys. They want to leave community for a more comfortable life. As in maybe like, a bigger home and stuff. I'm assuming.

[Abigail]

I'm assuming.

[Addie]

No, I would always choose community over that.

[Abigail]

Personally, I've lived without community before, and it was probably the hardest time of my life, so. Yeah, and I don't. I wouldn't have thought of that time as comfortable exactly. Like, I think all those things are secondary to community, at least for me. Like, and I think that you would find. I. I feel confident that you'd probably find that too, especially if you have good community where you're at. If you're like, oh, we're kind of plugged in or kind of like we'd see our family like once or twice a month. Like it's like that might be different. It depends on like how it is. But like. Yeah, I wouldn't trade what we have now for that would take a lot.

[Addie]

I guess too. It depends. Did she say they have kids? She didn't say. If you don't have kids, honestly move away and then come back, it sounds

[Abigail]

like they don't have kids.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Addie]

Cuz I think, I think when that really when you need your village the most is when you start to have kids.

[Abigail]

I agree.

[Addie]

And Caleb and I moved twice away from really solid community, away from our families in St. Louis and then away from. We had a really strong church community in Kansas City to come here and we were able to build amazing community with you guys and with our friends. So it's not impossible to build community. I guess it depends on your personality type. Like are you willing to get involved and put yourself out there and do types of things to like forge away and build community and go to these areas and if it doesn't work, you could always go back. I guess.

[Caller]

I don't know.

[Abigail]

Actually. I agree. I think. Okay, so I said that was like the hardest time of my life. But I do think that season grew me in a way that I couldn't have done within the community that I was in before because I was. I was so comfortable. And so I think it took discomfort and I think that time to do that is before kids.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And I don't think with kids like now at this point. I would not risk that with kids being like with us having a family.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

But I. Yeah, I agree. It sounds like it's just her and her husband because I feel like she would have said our kids too then

[Addie]

actually go for it. Go move. Try something new.

[Abigail]

You convinced me, Abigail.

[Addie]

Be uncomfortable in a comfier home. You know what I mean?

[Abigail]

You might not need to move to the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

[Addie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't go to an island. Maybe. Or maybe. Or maybe, you know, season of growth. You'll feel it out.

[Abigail]

Just see how depression goes.

[Addie]

Yeah, totally.

[Abby Howard]

Abigail tried it out. Work for me.

[Addie]

It didn't stick. So that's a terrible joke I make. Sorry. I don't think. I don't know if we should put that in there.

[Abigail]

I forgot that it's controversial. That's not depression.

[Addie]

Yeah, it's not. It's hormones. I think it's a bad day. It's a bad Day.

[Abby Howard]

Okay, next one.

[Caller]

Hi, Abby. Abby and Addie. I have a question. And first of all, I love your guys's podcast. It's my favorite thing to listen to. I look forward to every Friday and just sitting and listening to you girls. But my question is, what was your guys's first dance song at your wedding? Thank you. Love the podcast.

[Abby Howard]

Thank you.

[Addie]

What was your guys's.

[Abigail]

Did you forget yours right now?

[Addie]

The actual name of the song.

[Abigail]

Ah, yes. What was yours?

[Addie]

It's Ed Sheeran and Beyonce. When we were kids, we just fell in love. What's that song?

[Abby Howard]

Kong.

[Addie]

I went, what it was

[Caller]

this time.

[Addie]

It was so perfect because it spoke to, like, being young and falling in love and then growing old. Ed Sheeran and Beyonce version. Because I was like, we need the boy and girl version of the song.

[Abigail]

That's gonna really annoy me.

[Addie]

That's really gonna bother me too. Especially because that's my first dance song. Ed Sheeran and Beyonce should be the first one that pops up. Oh, I thought you were picking it up.

[Abby Howard]

No, I was looking at my song.

[Abigail]

She forgot hers too. Ours was forever like that by Ben Rector. We love that song.

[Addie]

Thank you. Perfect.

[Abigail]

Perfect.

[Abby Howard]

I liked that song. And then Blake told me that that was your guys song, so we couldn't use it.

[Addie]

Forever.

[Abigail]

Like, that was like our, like, high school song. Cute. And so we're like, that is saved.

[Abby Howard]

Four songs, three songs under our first dance song. So I saved it, and then I found ourselves. Ours is no matter where you are. It's by us, the duo, which is a. I love us, the duo. Yeah.

[Abigail]

They got divorced. Dang it. Shooting forever by then Rector Forever like that.

[Addie]

Oh, sorry. Forever like that.

[Abigail]

I'm do a little bit right now. Yeah, I can play it too. Your rainy day lover. Cute. We, like, listen to it sometimes. If we're, like, mad at each other, it's, like, tense. One of us will be like, turns it up.

[Addie]

Slide it.

[Abigail]

You gotta read the room. You gotta read the room.

[Abby Howard]

I don't think Blake would know.

[Abigail]

Oh, my gosh. Well, this was also, like, our high school. Like, this is our, like, love song. So it's the same one. But it's hard to be mad when you, like, you're like, oh, we're so in love, my rainy day lover.

[Caller]

Right.

[Abigail]

Frick.

[Abby Howard]

Shoot.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abigail]

Yeah, shoot. And then you just have to dance, and then. Yeah. Do you guys ever just dance in your house?

[Addie]

Yeah, but usually it's not to like slow songs.

[Abigail]

That's what I mean. Like, slow dancing.

[Addie]

Oh, no, we usually put on, like, no, pump it up. You got to pump it up. If someone's dancing, it's me dancing for

[Abby Howard]

Brielle and Blake's not there. That's fine.

[Abigail]

If you were to ask them, could we do a slow dance?

[Addie]

Yeah. Kill bl. Yeah, he would.

[Abigail]

Blake wouldn't do it.

[Addie]

Blake would be like, why are you okay?

[Abby Howard]

He hasn't being more affectionate with me, which I appreciate. We have to get into sparks. We get into spits where I'm like, okay, I think we need to be more affectionate with each other during the day.

[Abigail]

I think we need to be a couple again. I feel like you guys are perfect for each other.

[Abby Howard]

We gave each other a hug and you go, oh, affection.

[Abigail]

I saw them hug and I was like, wow.

[Abby Howard]

We hadn't seen each other all day.

[Addie]

I love it.

[Caller]

Hi, my name is Erin. I'm calling from Wisconsin. I actually had a question for Abigail. So my husband, similar to it sounds like yours a little bit, works very often during the week. He's right now doing about 60 hour work weeks. And I would say sometimes it does take a toll overall just on, you know, us wishing we saw him more. And I would love to hear some practical tips maybe that you found that have helped with how much it sounds like Caleb works. Yeah, that would be awesome. Just to hear a little bit about that. Love listening to the podcast, by the way, and yeah, hope to hear from you guys soon. Thank you.

[Addie]

Is she being like, practical tips for during the day or just like in general?

[Abby Howard]

Probably just for your guys's relationship, our relationship, or like, the stress of that.

[Addie]

It can be really hard sometimes when your spouse has gone long stretches. I think sometimes it helps me. I remind myself a lot. I'm like, I cannot get bitter and. Or compare what Caleb and I are doing to each other time wise. I think it can be really easy to be like, oh, he hasn't been here all day. Like, he has no idea what's going on. Like, I wish he was. It'd be so much easier if he was here. You know, obviously, like, think those things. But I have to remind myself, my cubs, he wants to be at home just as badly as, like, I want him to be home. And he loves being home to his family. I think it's been good to not ever make him feel bad about his job because I trust that when he can be home, he prioritizes us to make it to come home. So never making him feel bad about his hours. And I think of trying to, like, hype up the culture of like when he gets home, like have the kids get excited, have CJ get excited. I think it helps Caleb a lot if I can have dinner ready by the time he gets home. So it's like he can just enter into home mode and chill and hang. We can have family time, quality time. And it's easy for him to transition too into then like helping with bath and doing all those things. So yeah, I think it's just figuring out what your rhythm is and within the house, like how you make him feel the most welcome back in and setting like the mood of the home when he's excited to come home and just relax and see his family too. And not making it like a you come home and do this, this, this and this and that type of vibe. Am I answering the question?

[Abigail]

You really good job of that.

[Addie]

Thanks. Actually, I read a book a long time ago, a marriage book, and it was kind of like, there's gonna be. I think our job is like moms and wives is like, we. And this is exciting to me. Like, we get to set the tone of our house. Like, we. Caleb does not care at all about like the day to day things really within the home. He's very much like a big vision of our family and our goals. But like I curate the day to day culture and so am I gonna set a house that feels like stressed and anxious or am I gonna try to make a home environment that feels like, like you're excited to come home too. And so I always wanted to feel for Caleb to feel excited to come home too. And same, you know, vice versa. So yeah, I just think of like the little ways that you can do that because you just. I have to remind myself, my kill shop is so hard. Like, I don't want to. I would never want to do that. So if I was doing that, how would I want to feel when I come home and see my family?

[Abigail]

That's really sweet.

[Abby Howard]

I feel like you've said it before that you're like, this is a season I agreed to.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

That you, that you guys like talked about and agreed upon. And I feel like that must be something you go back to a lot that you're like, I actually agreed to this hard and like, this will be. This is just a season for us, you know?

[Addie]

Totally. Yeah. Thanks, daddy.

[Abby Howard]

That's.

[Addie]

Yeah, that is true. I forgot about that. I mean, his is different because he started a business. So it's like, yeah, I. I had to fully agree to the hours and I'm like, hey, this is like our big vision. We have big vision goals for our future. And so, yeah, if this season right now is really hard, you're working a lot, I'm okay with that. Knowing hopefully in the long run, it's like setting us up for, hopefully this end goal that we want. And so I think it's just keeping your goals in mind. If it felt fruitless, I would get frustrated, but

[Abby Howard]

that's good.

[Addie]

Everything has.

[Abby Howard]

Okay, last one for dating and marriage.

[Caller]

Hey, Abby and Addie. I am calling because I have a crush on my teacher's assistant. He graduates with his master's and this month, and the class also ends this month, and I'm currently in my junior year of undergrad. Please give me some advice, because I really want to try and pursue it. However, I don't know how, and I'm scared of rejection. I really love your podcast, and every Friday I look forward to it. So thank you guys so much.

[Addie]

That's really cute. Oh, my gosh.

[Caller]

Oh.

[Abigail]

I don't know if I have good advice.

[Addie]

I was gonna say you just need to start baking some goods and putting them on his desk.

[Abigail]

Only if you like to bake, because then you can go buying a ridiculous standard. She lured me in with bakery, but she doesn't even cook.

[Addie]

I think that's something you could totally confess later in dating. Like, I'm actually a bad cook. You know, that's just a little something like, oh, I just made extra and thought you might like these. You know, just kind of putting yourself on his radar a little bit.

[Abigail]

Okay.

[Addie]

Easing in. Is that too forward? Certainly.

[Abigail]

She's talked to him before, right? Let me think about this for a little bit. He's a teacher's assistant. I say, here's my tip.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abigail]

Casually make. Do they do any grading?

[Addie]

Probably they do all the grading. The teacher's not around.

[Abigail]

Casually make a joke about giving you a good grade.

[Addie]

Huh.

[Abigail]

And then see if the conversation gauges interest from there. Find something in that conversation that you can kind of latch on to and circle back to the next class, and then just try to keep extending that conversation, because I get it. I feel like maybe I'm just, you know. What's the word? Traditional. I don't like the idea of, like, going and making the first move, but that doesn't feel like a move, Right? That feels like starting conversation. And then give him the opportunity to then make a move.

[Caller]

Move.

[Addie]

That's what I'm saying. Like, bake a tree. Be like, oh, I just had extra.

[Abigail]

That doesn't move, though. Really? Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I feel like I'D move. I'd make the first move. This is what I would do, Okay? I would. It's the last day. You're not going to ever see him again.

[Abigail]

Okay? That's stakes.

[Abby Howard]

You're. He's graduating, so you get him a graduation card. You just give it to him, and you write a nice note. Put your phone number. Your phone number, and then it's on him. And then you never see him again. If not.

[Addie]

And maybe some baked cheese and a baked good.

[Abigail]

I just think the way to a man is, what brand are you? Okay, if you're.

[Abby Howard]

If you're different brands,

[Addie]

some cookies never hurt.

[Abigail]

See, I need more context. See which type of man each person is.

[Abby Howard]

I have to be forward.

[Abigail]

Yeah, you have to be forward.

[Addie]

I don't think giving them a treat or a note is the first move. I think you have to let them know they can't read your mind. They don't know that you're interested.

[Abby Howard]

See, that's why I need more context of, like, are they friends?

[Addie]

Are you already kind of learning, like,

[Abby Howard]

where are we at?

[Addie]

Or have you never spoken to him?

[Abby Howard]

That is a whole different conversation if

[Addie]

you've never spoken to him.

[Abigail]

Didn't do my.

[Addie]

Then you got to do her method. If you have a little ongoing, like, oh, you make eye contact, give him some baked treats, and then give him a card with your number, maybe he ask him for an extra credit assignment, and it's like, it's me on a date. You know what I mean? That's not sexist.

[Abigail]

Allie also was extremely forward with Caleb. She literally was like, all of our friends are going to see this movie. It was just her and Caleb.

[Addie]

Yeah. That was manipulation. It was a bad move. That was bad advice.

[Abby Howard]

Forward.

[Abigail]

You guys were both forward. Wait, in your marriages, who made the. You made the first move.

[Addie]

I did. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Did you? I think I made the first move.

[Addie]

Yeah. But I didn't continue making the first move.

[Abigail]

I had the crush first, but I wouldn't say I made the move. I, like, asked to play cards with him. See?

[Addie]

Yeah, I'm not gonna, like, sit around just with this crush and not let them know that I'm, like, kind of interested. I feel like guys need to be. Let them know that you're interested.

[Abby Howard]

All of our church friends were hanging out every single day for lunch, and Blake wasn't showing up. And so one night at church, I said, why aren't you showing up?

[Addie]

Right?

[Abby Howard]

You gotta start showing up.

[Addie]

You gotta let him know, like, I want you there. Right. I agree with that.

[Abby Howard]

Okay.

[Addie]

Okay. Let it look at you.

[Abigail]

Should he. I'm a coward. I'm a coward.

[Addie]

Please follow up with a voicemail. Let us know in a month how that. How that ended.

[Abby Howard]

Yes.

[Addie]

And if it didn't, nothing happened. That's still an update.

[Abigail]

Also, you should know that I. The fear of rejection is very real, and we all feel that, but you always gain something from that. And so, like, have you ever heard about that thing that's like, the. You're trying to get people to, like, literally. What do they call it? Rejection therapy, where they basically ask a question. It's like, hey, what are the odds that I can get this hotel room for free tonight?

[Addie]

And they say no.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Like you. The goal is to get people to say no to you.

[Abby Howard]

Absolutely not.

[Abigail]

So you, like, get over that fear, and then you, like, learn to have, like, boldness and confidence.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

And then also, people are like, usually, like, you'd be shocked at things that people actually said yes to. They're like, I never thought they would say yes that. I think people are also, like, kind of respect that. Like, that courage, too. So listen to their advice.

[Abby Howard]

I was gonna say, I'm actually personally very invested in this. So. Yeah, send us a voicemail if we don't see it. If you're on our patreon, send us a dm. I'm way more likely to see it if you're on our patreon. If you're not, subscribe and then send us a dm.

[Abigail]

Why do I feel like his name is Connor?

[Abby Howard]

We need names. We need details. We're ready for it. Okay. Fun.

[Abigail]

And here's what you could do. Wait. I have an idea.

[Abby Howard]

Okay. Okay.

[Abigail]

Send him a link to our podcast, and we will shoot your shots for you. We're not afraid of rejection. We have a public podcast. We are. We're putting. We get.

[Addie]

We get rejected. Every day, we reject.

[Abigail]

We've gotten really good at it. So just let us fall in the sword for you.

[Addie]

Yes.

[Abigail]

Connor.

[Addie]

Connor. Mr. Ta.

[Abigail]

Her voice is. Sounds like. She's so sweet. She's very beautiful, like a little doll.

[Addie]

She has a great taste.

[Abby Howard]

Invite us to the wedding.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

I love a wedding.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Okay, now we're going to switch to fun and miscellaneous.

[Abigail]

I really hope something comes of that.

[Abby Howard]

Me too. I really want to know. This is really miscellaneous.

[Caller]

Hi, Abby. Abby and Addie. I just have a random question. I've been watching your podcast since the beginning, and I absolutely love you guys. My random question is, why in Arizona do all of your backyards and your videos and stuff. It seems like you guys have brick fences instead of wooden fences, right? I know. That's so random, but I've noticed that. All right. Thank you, guys.

[Addie]

Yeah. No, it's. Yeah. I wondered the exact same thing when we moved here. I was like, is this a nice area or a not so nice area? Everyone just got cinder block walls. Like, I didn't. I feel like in the Midwest, if you have a cinder block around your house, you're in a bad area.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Addie]

So I hear. I was like, where are the nice people?

[Abigail]

Like, paint murals on them.

[Addie]

Yeah, I know.

[Abigail]

I don't know.

[Addie]

I think it's just wood doesn't really

[Abigail]

survive well out here.

[Addie]

That's true.

[Abby Howard]

That was my.

[Abigail]

You'd have to treat it.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

That wood doesn't like it. Just the sun.

[Abigail]

It's not on.

[Abby Howard]

Houses deteriorate. Yeah.

[Abigail]

If you get, like, a wooden play set for your kids and you don't treat it, it will last one summer.

[Abby Howard]

And if you get a metal fence, it's just so hot.

[Addie]

Yeah. You can't touch metal. And the homes are pretty close to each other, so I feel like privacy, It's.

[Abigail]

It's probably more for privacy than.

[Addie]

Yeah, they. They. They build things close on their lots here.

[Abigail]

We tell them it's for the javelinas.

[Addie]

It's for the. It's the critters.

[Abby Howard]

We're right. Wood quickly rots, warps, cracks underneath. The intense.

[Addie]

The plastic probably would exposure.

[Abigail]

It's intense.

[Addie]

It's low upkeep on the cinder block walls. They do make your backyards extremely warm. So Caleb and I just on tick tock and it was like these. This is the shrubbery to plant around your cinder block walls to not trap the heat in. And one of the plants that they talked about, we had like 10 of those. We moved in and framed them all out. He was like, these are ugly. And now, like, you literally ripped out 10amazing bushes with flowers that keep the heat out.

[Abigail]

Just. He's like, I'd rather just see more raw.

[Addie]

We replaced it with nothing so far, so.

[Abigail]

Dang it.

[Abby Howard]

After the shirt.

[Addie]

No, literally.

[Abigail]

Thank you to merit Beauty for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

[Addie]

Are you thinking that I look naturally beautiful today?

[Abigail]

Every day. You're glowing.

[Addie]

Thank you so much. I attribute that to merit beauty. I love merit beauty. They're some of my favorite makeup products and skincare products. I love, love, love that they follow the EU clean standard of product care. So you know that you're getting cleaner ingredients, really high quality products, and everything that they've made is just very effective.

[Abigail]

The reason why I love it so much is that it's designed for women just like me, just like Abby, probably just like you. That if it's going to take more than maximum five, six minutes.

[Addie]

Right.

[Abigail]

It's simply not going to happen. Their products are designed to make you feel beautiful. Mostly just enhance what you've already got naturally going on. There have so many great products for the skin and for makeup. I've been using their double cleansing face wash recently upon your recommendation. I love that it's a foaming wash. It gets my makeup off super easy at night. For makeup, I mean you love their flesh balm.

[Addie]

I love the flush balm. I love their lipsticks. I love the colors bespoke and everything. That's like my shade. My sister has really sensitive skin. She gets rosacea super easily. The uniform is her favorite product. Her skin looked amazing.

[Abigail]

If it's a no makeup day, no problem. Merit has great skin products. Like their skin serum is all you need. It instantly hydrates and plumps for a fresh dewy look.

[Addie]

I feel like I could talk about merit all day long. So go check them out. Right now Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com that's M E R I T beauty.com to get your free signature makeup bag with your first order meritbeauty.com hi Abby.

[Caller]

Abby and Addie. I'm Katie calling from Tennessee. I was wanting to know what Yalls favorite genre of book is to read. Personally I like Romantasy or mystery slash fantasy. I just finished reading Wicked is the Hollow. It's a two book series. Anyways, it was really good.

[Addie]

I know that you already have a

[Caller]

book picked out for next month, but maybe you should give that one a try.

[Addie]

Anyway, hope you all have a good day.

[Abigail]

Funny that you should mention that because we are talking about book club today. Yay. Which also we should mention book club on every episode just so people if they want to read the book and

[Abby Howard]

keep up with the book is.

[Abigail]

Yeah. Come back to that. That's what I mean. Genres. What would you say?

[Addie]

Well, okay. I think my favorite book I've ever read is the Nightingale. That's a historical fiction. So I really like that. I do like romance. I like like those every summer after ones those books. What's that kind of vibe?

[Abigail]

That's romance.

[Addie]

Yeah. Okay. Sometimes I don't love like the graphicness of the romance, but I love the story.

[Abigail]

That's a whole different category. That's Called Smut.

[Addie]

Okay. I don't like smut.

[Abigail]

Okay.

[Addie]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. And then I actually really liked our murder mystery one. This book this month that kept me going, but it wasn't too scary. It was like, a good mix.

[Abigail]

Mm. I really like historical fiction, and I also feel like my genre taste has changed. I used to really like thriller, but now I really like literary fiction. Like, what is that? Like, basically, like a fiction that's not necessarily romance or thriller. Like a story. Yeah. Like, the correspondence would be a literary fiction.

[Abby Howard]

Okay.

[Addie]

I just started another life by the late life. Yeah. By the girl who wrote the Nightingale.

[Abigail]

You're reading books independently now?

[Addie]

I just had it on my shelf. I was like, well, maybe I should just pick that one up.

[Abigail]

Wow.

[Addie]

Who's that author?

[Abigail]

I like memoirs too.

[Addie]

She also wrote the Woman. What's her author's name?

[Abigail]

That's Kristen Hannah.

[Addie]

That's the author of it.

[Abigail]

Really? I feel like I've read every book by that author.

[Addie]

Another Life. Is that the name of it? I don't even know where I got it. It just showed, I think my mom.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

When did she write this book?

[Addie]

No, I did 23. What? I don't know where it came from. Should we read her next month?

[Abigail]

That's by Kristen Hannah.

[Addie]

I will say there's, like, infertility in it, so I don't know if we want to watch that, but. And infant loss. Well, then let's not.

[Abigail]

I don't have to be postpartum, Right.

[Addie]

I was gonna say, I don't think it's like a. It's not an uplifter so far.

[Abby Howard]

So my favorite are romance and thriller, murder mysteries. So why do those two.

[Abigail]

That sounds like they often go together.

[Abby Howard]

They often do go together.

[Abigail]

High stakes.

[Abby Howard]

I will say one of my favorite book series that I've read probably would get categorized under smut, which I hate that for myself, but it was one of the first ones I read.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abigail]

Love Island Girl.

[Abby Howard]

But I didn't love. Like, that wasn't what I love. Like, you could say this. I'm like, I really love the story. Like, I. It was like the characters and the storyline. It could have done without the smut, and I would still like it because there's a little bit of both.

[Addie]

The way they built it up was good.

[Abby Howard]

It was a love story with crime. Oh, great. Great.

[Addie]

Don't they always say those two go together? Sex and danger.

[Abigail]

That made you sound like a grandma. My. The genres I do not like are sci fi and fantasy. Yeah, fantasy. I just. It's really hard for me. To the world building. I'm like, I don't. I gotta. That's too much. And I hate series and then sci fi. I have no science background, so I. It's just too much education. I read to escape things I don't want to learn. I had to learn a lot to just read Hailman Project. Hail Mary, right? Still haven't seen the movie.

[Abby Howard]

You gotta watch it. I've heard it's so good.

[Abigail]

You know what's messed up about that is that I read the book to watch the movie, and then Matt watched the movie without me.

[Addie]

He did. Do you like it?

[Abigail]

I gave him permission. He really liked it. And then he said, I heard it's exactly like the book. I was like, well, you never read it.

[Addie]

I saw you had the summer turn. Pretty series out there. Can I take those?

[Abigail]

Yeah, sure.

[Addie]

Perfect.

[Abby Howard]

I would want to read those, but I feel like I watched the show and now I'm like, that's why I

[Addie]

want to read them.

[Abigail]

I also don't really like young adult, which I feel like that one is probably young adult. Yeah, I do like young adult.

[Addie]

I like young adult, too.

[Abby Howard]

Okay.

[Addie]

That feels very escapee.

[Caller]

Hey, girlies.

[Addie]

Start it over.

[Abigail]

Start it over.

[Abby Howard]

She said. She said I'm being weird.

[Caller]

Hey, girlies. Sorry. This is weird. I was just wanting to know what your death row meals. I love you guys.

[Abigail]

I want to be her friend. I just want to know what your death row meal is.

[Addie]

I feel like she'd fit in with us. Oh, my gosh.

[Abigail]

That's great. I've done that so many times. I've, like, started doing something weird. I'm like, I can't reel it. I'm in and out. We're here now.

[Addie]

That was awesome.

[Abigail]

Okay.

[Addie]

You got it.

[Abigail]

Death row meal. Are these supposed to be, like, your, like, most gluttonous meal? Because if I'm taking this so literally, I don't think I'm gonna be able to eat.

[Addie]

If I was on death row. Don't catch me eating.

[Abigail]

I'll be throwing up.

[Addie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abigail]

That's also. I do think that this isn't even a real thing. Like, most states will probably just give you whatever they've been giving you.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Took it way too literally.

[Addie]

Okay, but if you say if you had to answer the question as she intended.

[Abby Howard]

Sushi.

[Caller]

Sushi.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, my gosh. I had sushi yesterday.

[Addie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abigail]

Yeah, I'm good.

[Abby Howard]

Sushi is.

[Addie]

It is good.

[Abigail]

Pacifically, you said. Yeah. Salmon nigiri with eel sauce and it is. I know it. Specifically.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abigail]

Sorry.

[Abby Howard]

I was really caught off guard that you.

[Addie]

I know. I think you rushed past it. I was like, she know? Does she know? Okay, Salmon nigiri. Sorry, what'd you say?

[Abigail]

Oh, yeah, like a tuna tataki. One rainbow roll. Dragon roll.

[Addie]

I love a rainbow roll.

[Abigail]

Nothing with crab. I just want salmon.

[Addie]

Oh, I like crab and tuna.

[Abigail]

What's imitation crab?

[Addie]

I still enjoy it. I do still enjoy it.

[Abigail]

You're the one who said to me the other day, tilapia.

[Addie]

That's a fake fish.

[Abigail]

That's a fake fish. I'm like, you ain't eaten artificial crab.

[Abby Howard]

There's something that's like, grown.

[Abigail]

That's what it is. It's a frankenfish. It's not a fake fish. It's a real fish, but it's a frankenfish. Like, it's literally just made to be eaten.

[Addie]

Yes.

[Abigail]

Yeah. It doesn't, like, exists in the wild.

[Abby Howard]

Bothers me. That's so weird.

[Addie]

We want wild caught, not that farm raised. Unless it's imitation crab. Give me that. Fake crab. That's so hypocrite. Yeah. Okay. I would say I have two vibes. It's either a fruit and this is

[Abigail]

what you said after. Afterwards, you said, just so you know, that's what she said. I was like, well, that was actually great macros. As long as you know that's what you said.

[Addie]

Why don't you call me out in the moment? So judgmental.

[Abby Howard]

Really good.

[Abigail]

I'm used to it.

[Abby Howard]

No, just

[Caller]

kidding.

[Abigail]

Oh, my God, that's hilarious.

[Caller]

I'm.

[Addie]

I apologize. But I was right. I'm just kidding. Okay. Freddy's burger with shoestring fries and a big old thing ice cream. That's like one vibe. And then my other vibe. I want Lebanese food and I just want all of it. Specifically grape leaves, meat pies.

[Abigail]

Do you eat food out here?

[Addie]

I haven't found the best stuff. I'm not even trying to say the word, but it's lentils and rice in Jedra. Yeah. I've tried a couple different places. I mean, I just like Middle Eastern food in general. And they usually all have, like, similar stuff, but it's so good.

[Abigail]

Kibbe.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I want El Mague rice. Chicken queso.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

With a side of tortillas and a margarita.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. That's specifically El Maguay.

[Addie]

Specifically. I think that that was something I ate a lot in calls. And I looked at a plate, I was like, this is just a brown meal. It's all brown. It's just white.

[Abby Howard]

Refried beans right there, please.

[Addie]

White chicken and white cheese. And it's incredible. I could not poop for days. But unbelievable meal with a white chip.

[Abby Howard]

It's called arrows compello.

[Addie]

Oh, it's so good. You're right, Addy. That's a no.

[Abigail]

This is chicken and cheese at. At El Maguay or. No, it's at. Oh, gosh.

[Abby Howard]

Pollo con queso.

[Addie]

Oh, yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I mean, it's just chicken and cheese.

[Addie]

There's not. There's. Because Phoenix, I feel like it's just like real Hispanic food that's very different than.

[Abigail]

I can't get that out of here.

[Abby Howard]

So when I go back, that's what I get.

[Addie]

If you're gonna come to Phoenix, you have to eat at. Well, shoot. It's escaping me. What's the Mexican restaurant I'm absolutely obsessed with? It's in South Mountain.

[Abigail]

I can't think of the name.

[Addie]

It's the most unbelievable Mexican food I've ever had. Cocina Madrigal.

[Abigail]

Wait, and why was that lit? Abby? I was thinking that my head. Christina Madrigal. I was like, no, that's encanto. Christina Madrigal.

[Addie]

Know that's in content. That's an unbelievable restaurant.

[Abigail]

It's really good.

[Addie]

It is so good. So if you come to Phoenix, you have to go to Cocina Madrigal.

[Abby Howard]

Okay, next one.

[Addie]

The steak tacos from Christina Madrigal. Be my death row.

[Caller]

My name is Lily, and my question for you is I want to know what your opinion and view is on friendships of the opposite sex in dating. So whether it's like a boyfriend having who are friends or a girlfriend who has guy friends, I would just love to know what your thoughts and opinions on that. Absolutely. Love the podcast. Thanks so much, guys.

[Abigail]

I want to know the story.

[Addie]

Yeah, I'm fine with the friends.

[Abigail]

Friends.

[Addie]

Friends. Yeah. Besties. You're not gonna be bestie with another girl.

[Abigail]

I'm sorry.

[Addie]

No. But you can be friends and hang out and like, with groups now. There's nothing one on one happening. That's for me. Do you know what I mean?

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. I had a couple guy friends that I was pretty close with, and then when I started dating Blake, I realized I didn't need them anymore. So that's my only thought there. Which shows there was also. There was another level to it at that point, so. Yeah. Cause there were other boyfriends I had that I still was friends with those guys. When it came to Blake, for some reason, I was like, I don't need those guys.

[Addie]

Yeah. Anymore.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Addie]

I think friends are fine.

[Abby Howard]

I'd be really sorry you're not off at Blake's. Had it. I think it's a personality type. If Blake had a girl best friend, I'd be so thrown.

[Addie]

Weird.

[Abigail]

Not best friends friends. We had a lot of, like, girl and guy friends that we just hung out in groups with. Most of them were in relationships. And you should have, like, they were talking to Matt more so, and it was like we were just only hanging out in a group.

[Abby Howard]

Right?

[Abigail]

Yeah. Setting friends.

[Addie]

I think that's fine. Yeah. You group friends, you should have friends of the opposite sex because I think it's healthy, but. Yeah. No, no. You're not gonna hang out with them. Like, one on one in it. You know what I mean?

[Abby Howard]

No.

[Addie]

Yeah. Group's great.

[Abby Howard]

The only guys that I ever hung out with one on one were Blake's roommates, mostly because I was waiting for them. Him to get home.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I mean, I'm like, hanging out at his house waiting for him to come. Like, there was never us going to do something.

[Addie]

Yeah. You weren't going to their house to hang out with them.

[Abby Howard]

No.

[Addie]

You were going to hang out, Blake.

[Abby Howard]

Exactly.

[Caller]

Hi, Abby and Abby, my name is Lila. And I was just wondering, what is one thing that you wish you had

[Abigail]

done differently in high school? Gosh, why do I always come back to the same thing? It's not good advice. I wish I cared less about my grades, you guys. Ask my mom. I was a little bit intense.

[Addie]

Okay. Yeah, you were extreme.

[Abigail]

Yeah. Like, I was like, maybe that didn't matter that much. Like, that was. Maybe everyone has different personality types.

[Addie]

Right.

[Abigail]

It's like, maybe relax. Maybe just relax. Maybe just have a little bit more fun. Maybe go to bed. It'll be okay. So. Yeah.

[Addie]

Yeah. I mean, I think that's real.

[Abigail]

I really stressed myself out.

[Addie]

Don't stress out in high school.

[Abigail]

Yeah. And I like, I literally. And it carried on.

[Addie]

Sure.

[Abigail]

I literally only got one B my entire existence through college. Yeah. And it wasn't in college. It was in high school. And I never lived it down. I was like, I'll never do that again. It was a quarter. I got a B. My semester grade was still an A. Yeah. Like, I literally, like, couldn't. It wasn't important. No one's caring. No one's asking what my GPA was ever since I actually got into college. And even then I got into a college that accepts, like, 95 that apply. So, I mean, really, girl, it really was that serious, right? Like, go to bed.

[Addie]

Did you get A good scholarship.

[Abigail]

I got a scholarship.

[Addie]

Yeah. Nice. Okay.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Addie]

To think I wish it would have done differently. It's kind of hard to, like, think back to.

[Abby Howard]

I wish I didn't have as many boyfriends.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Addie]

Honestly. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I just always needed a boy.

[Addie]

Honestly, I'd be same. I think being content being single and. Because I started dating Kayla my senior year and I dated different guys before or always, Like, I had to be, like, talking to a guy, and that's just not really healthy. Like, that's not necessary. So I think maybe just being more content in singleness. And, like, I have. I had amazing girlfriends. Like, we were three really tight girlfriends, and they're still some of my best friends. So just, like, really enjoying my time with them in high school. More so than maybe being sad that I wasn't invited to, like, the bigger things going on.

[Caller]

Hi, ladies. I wondered what your thoughts are for engagement rings. Are you a team real diamond or team lab grown diamond? And what do you think is appropriate to spend on a ring if you're a guy? Love you guys so much. Thanks.

[Abigail]

Mine's moissanite.

[Abby Howard]

Mine is also moissanite.

[Addie]

Mine's real. Oh, my bands are flipped. Mine was a hand me down from the family.

[Abby Howard]

I.

[Addie]

No, I just think get what you can afford.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Addie]

I don't think there should be pressure to do get anything outside of your means. I think the temptation sometimes with the moissanite rings is that people can now afford a bigger rock. I think just get what looks classy and nice on your hand. Don't just go bigger because you think it looks. It's like a thing. I think sometimes a smaller diamond looks really beautiful and classy and nice. So I think go based off what looks best on your hand, not based off of, like, what's the biggest rock I can get, you know, I don't know.

[Abigail]

I'm like, some people have a big old rock. I'm like, that's their personality.

[Addie]

No, but they look amazing. It's, like, good for their hand. You know what I mean?

[Abigail]

Yeah. I literally think it. The look of the ring matters, actually zero percent. And actually the stone inside of it really matters zero percent, too. I think we were kind of, like, told a lot. It's literally just about the meaning of wearing the ring. And so that's why almost my promise ring that Matt gave me in high school matters equally to my wedding ring, if that makes sense. Because, like, at that time, like, we literally knew we were going to get married. So then I was like, this was like, it meant something really special. Like, okay, we can't do it right now because we are literally way too young. But, like, it meant, like, the promise. Like, hat carried that similar weight. Obviously not the same as, like, getting married, but yeah, just for whatever. Just literally whatever you like. It's a big deal.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Addie]

I would say don't get. Oh, sorry, Eddie.

[Abby Howard]

No, I was just gonna say, get what you like.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

And also, if you're wanting to get married young and you need to get a moissanite ring for that to happen, do it. Don't let the price of a ring stop you. Like, I want a diamond ring, so I'm not gonna get married for five years so we can afford it.

[Caller]

Right.

[Abby Howard]

The intention.

[Abigail]

What is that?

[Addie]

You can always upgrade later if you want.

[Abigail]

They need to. You, like, a man needs to spend, like, three months income. That's so.

[Addie]

That's a marketing.

[Abigail]

So stupid.

[Abby Howard]

That still could have been the case because Blake's income was really low.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Addie]

You're like, the extra.

[Abigail]

No, it probably would have done.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

But that's just. That's just dumb. It doesn't matter what they spend on the ring.

[Addie]

No, it doesn't. And I would say, go have fun, like, trying on rings. Go look at them. It's a really fun experience. Get what you like. I would say match your ring to the type of jewelry that you like. I wish I got gold. I only wear gold jewelry. I got white silver or whatever. This is white gold. Because I honestly didn't know that it came in gold at the time. I was like, oh, yeah. Everyone I know has white.

[Abigail]

Everyone at the time was doing white gold.

[Addie]

Yeah. Yeah. I wish I would have gotten gold setting because I only wear gold jewelry. So I don't know, just maybe, like, what's trending?

[Abigail]

Like, that's the thing. Don't. It's just gonna change.

[Addie]

That's what I'm saying. Don't get something trendy. But someone told me they're like, but gold, like, doesn't make your diamond shine as bright or whatever. And I was like, okay, well, I guess I'll get white gold then. Do you know what? I'm happy I never did. I'm glad I never soldered them together.

[Abby Howard]

I didn't do that either.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

I love that mine are soldered together.

[Addie]

Really?

[Abby Howard]

Some people like to wear just the wedding band. And I was like, I'll do that. I literally have never done that in my life.

[Addie]

I wear just my band a lot.

[Abby Howard]

Isn't it weird we've never lost Our wedding rings. It's weird.

[Addie]

Good thing I haven't.

[Abby Howard]

You haven't lost your second one.

[Abigail]

Haven't lost my second one.

[Abby Howard]

But, like, we lose earrings, we lose necklaces, we lose jewelry.

[Addie]

But that's because this has a special place that it goes when I'm not wearing it.

[Abigail]

Here's the thing. I got a trendy one, but I would still. If I lost this one, I'd still try to get this exact same ring. So I just think it's more just about the meaning behind it.

[Addie]

Totally. I've heard the men. She had a question about the men's. I love a man with a fun ring.

[Abby Howard]

Ring.

[Addie]

I love that.

[Abigail]

I wanted to get Matt a ring, and he ordered his own from China.

[Addie]

It wasn't like $5. Remember, he kept $5.

[Abigail]

The shipping was more than the ring. Now he just wears rubber ones. And I want him to wear a real ring.

[Addie]

Caleb. We got like a 75. It's like a nice ring. I think it's aluminum. No. Titanium.

[Abigail]

Probably titanium.

[Addie]

Titanium. And it's got the beveled edge. And it's kind of a brushed look, so it's a little more rugged. It's kind of. And he wears it. I love that he wears it.

[Caller]

Just.

[Addie]

It looks good. And as it's kind of gotten scratched, I think it looks really cool. But I also love when the men get the diamonds.

[Abigail]

I like it when the men have the diamonds.

[Addie]

I love it.

[Abigail]

My grandpa had one. I think that's why I like it.

[Abby Howard]

My dad has diamonds in his.

[Addie]

I love that. So I don't know. Just do what you think is fun.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Honestly Is beautiful. My mom's really. It's like. I can't even describe it. It's gorgeous.

[Abigail]

Like those trendy ones. I'm like, I love them. Whether it's two big stones, but it's like they, like, are not quite touching.

[Caller]

You know what I'm talking about?

[Abby Howard]

I don't.

[Addie]

They kind of like overlap, like, the different shapes.

[Abigail]

I like them.

[Addie]

Yeah. I mean, I think I haven't seen a ring I haven't liked, to be honest.

[Abby Howard]

I have.

[Caller]

Hi. I was actually really curious about you, Addie. I was curious how you began to work for the Howard. How you got the job if it was just your Abby's brother and they needed somebody to help film or what.

[Abigail]

And.

[Caller]

Yeah. And I'm also curious how other Abby and both of the abbeys started. Always here. If it was just an idea and you thought it'd be fun or how that came to be.

[Addie]

Oh, now that's some tea. Let's get the tea. Addie.

[Abby Howard]

About all of it.

[Addie]

Let's spill it over to a Patreon member.

[Abby Howard]

I don't know.

[Addie]

If not, we'll email you the answer.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Addie]

Okay. We'll give you an exclusive picture on link so you can hear your question answered so you can hear it. Okay. Our little book club segment. We did go into much more detail on our Patreon, but we do want to give you guys a little recap. Reread Listen for the Lie by who? Amy Tintera?

[Abby Howard]

Yes.

[Addie]

Okay. They're not even a close name on Patreon. I really enjoyed it. I gave this book A4. I thought it was a super, super fun listen, which I don't normally like listening to books, but this was a really fun to listen to. I was engaged the whole time. I really liked the ending, so I gave it a four. I thought it was a fun book.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, I got it. I gave it a 5. I really liked it. I read it in two days. It got me back into liking, like, I'm like, oh, I need to read thrillers again. Like murder mystery type books, because I really like them.

[Addie]

So this was a book that you said would get you back into reading if you're in a slump.

[Abby Howard]

I was in a slump. Well, I wasn't in a slump. I'm not right now. But I was like, oh, I forgot that I like this genre so much. I was just so into romance.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

I would say it was very entertaining. Also a little forgettable for me, but could have been because I read a similar book right before it, literally a podcast murder mystery. So I think that's why I was like, oh, man, I'm maybe not in the mood for this exact type of read. Right. I'd like to switch it up dramatically between each book I read, but I gave it a three. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but I thought it was entertaining. Like, if someone was already reading, it'd be like, oh, yeah, I read that.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Remind me what happened again.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

But. Yeah.

[Addie]

Did you guys guess the killer?

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Addie]

You did?

[Abby Howard]

At some point.

[Abigail]

I did at some point. Obviously. Like, I wasn't, like, early on.

[Addie]

Yeah. I think towards the end, when they dropped the. When she talked about kissing someone that night, when she remembered that, I think that's when I guessed who it was.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Addie]

So I didn't. I didn't catch on quick. I would say it wasn't quickly.

[Abigail]

You know, it stood out to me about that part was that the boob grab. I was like, that's a little.

[Addie]

That's why I was, like, in the boo grab game.

[Abigail]

A lot of the men in this

[Addie]

book were very forward with their kisses.

[Abby Howard]

There was a lot of.

[Addie]

They were all just kissing her.

[Abby Howard]

I was different. Relationships, cheating on each other. Crazy.

[Addie]

Her ex husband would just kiss her.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Addie]

The podcaster would just kiss her.

[Abby Howard]

She just let it happen.

[Addie]

Her high school best friend would just kiss her. I'm like, honey, I'm so sorry.

[Abigail]

She wanted it.

[Addie]

Not from two of the three.

[Abigail]

That's true.

[Addie]

She needs to stand up for herself.

[Abigail]

Next book, we decided to be Yellow Face by RF Kwan and really are kind of going in a little bit blind. I just knew the synopsis and I was interested, so.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Okay. Always hungry.

[Addie]

Okay, fine. I just made this recipe the other night. Oh, it's the one that you ate.

[Abigail]

I ate.

[Caller]

Was good.

[Abigail]

Yeah, it was really easy.

[Addie]

It was delicious. It's a Hawaiian chicken sheet. So it's just bell peppers, some pineapple, red onion chopped up with some chicken.

[Abigail]

Fresh pineapple.

[Addie]

I did. Yeah. It was really good.

[Abigail]

I think that's what made it better. I don't like canned pineapple.

[Addie]

Yeah, don't. I don't know why canned fruit just in general kind of makes me a little weary. So, yeah, I did fresh pineapple, and you get the bigger chunks and you

[Abigail]

just want to bake it.

[Addie]

Yeah. It's so good. I will say this recipe was a little confusing when I read it. You know, when they have, like, the story about their grandmother and like all the descriptions and stuff.

[Abigail]

Never read that.

[Addie]

I actually am glad I did on this one because there were some tips in that that she didn't include in the instructions below that I think made a big difference in the recipe because I was a little confused reading it. I'm like, wait, when do you make the. She had two different timings of when to make the sauce. So read the description and the instructions on this recipe.

[Abigail]

It tasted like, in a good way, takeout.

[Addie]

Yeah, it did. It was like takeout at home.

[Abigail]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail]

Yummy. I'm just gonna link my frozen s' mores recipe I used because people were asking on my stories for. I used it for the 4th of July party. It's fun. Something else I do want to flag is that the recipe is weird because the. So how you do it, a frozen s' more is you lay down some graham crackers and then in a baking dish, and then you do a chocolate layer, and it's like chocolate pudding, essentially. And then like a cool whip vanilla layer. And then top it with more graham crackers. But when you put the chocolate layer in, it's literally so liquidy that all the graham crackers just floated to the top. And I was like, oh, how do I. I was like, what did I do wrong? I'm reading over this recipe again and I'm like, this is so easy. How did I mess this up? I don't think it's supposed to do that according to the recipe, but I just pushed the graham crackers back down, like, let them sink back to the bottom, freeze the chocolate layer, and then go back and put the Cool Whip layer on. Because it logistically was never going to work. Otherwise there's no way you'd be able to spread it.

[Addie]

Interesting. That makes sense.

[Abigail]

So I'll link that one. It's really fun and easy. Great for summer and especially because we don't really have a way to make s' mores other than, like, we don't have a great way at our house. But this is really fun. Bonus points if you watch the sandlot while you eat them. Felt very appropriate. Yeah.

[Addie]

Well, amazing, you guys. That's so fun. I love the voicemail episode.

[Abigail]

So fun. Sorry if my brain, like, took a vacation during this episode. There's a couple gaps in my head.

[Addie]

Oh, I didn't realize it. I mean, it's a lot of us talking and thinking about, like, responses. So I feel like this was a little bit more of a, you know, we want to be thoughtful in our answers.

[Abigail]

Yes.

[Addie]

So it's okay to take a little brain break. I never noticed though. Do you want to read the review this week? Because I think I read it yesterday.

[Abigail]

This one is from Alexa Boerboom. I love listening. Five stars. I followed Matt and Abby for many years and I always loved seeing Abigail and Addie in their content. When this podcast was announced, I was so excited and listen every week because I'm an early bird. My roommates know that it's my routine to watch the podcast on Saturday mornings before we start our weekend plans. I'm only 20 years old, but I have similar values to you 3. And hearing your stories, advice and opinions makes me excited for the next season of my life, which will hopefully include marriage, children, and continued great friendships.

[Addie]

Aww.

[Abigail]

So sweet. Sounds like we can be great friends.

[Addie]

Yes. Thank you so much for that. That's really sweet.

[Abigail]

Really, seriously, thank you guys so much. I can't say it enough how much it means to have your support and that we get to work with our sister in laws. Like, how cool is that even calling it work is just a little bit wild because obviously there are, like, there's a lot of logistics that go into this, and that's also why your reviews mean so much. But it is really cool that we get to do this, and it's because of you guys. So we're really grateful.

[Addie]

I'm so grateful. I'm so. I love our podcast. Thank you for asking us to do do this. And yes, making this happen.

[Abigail]

Yeah, this episode really came with some backstory, too.

[Addie]

Gosh, I was talking to you for that, not them. I was saying thank you for making this happen, this podcast. Yeah. I love you guys and just love you guys. It's such a joy. Thank you for making it happen. And, ah, we love always here.

[Abigail]

Thanks for being here. And remember, we're always here.