Botox, Beauty Standards, and Things I Said I’d Never Do (But Did Anyway)

Summary

Always Here Podcast – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Botox, Beauty Standards, and Things I Said I’d Never Do (But Did Anyway)
Hosts: Abby Howard & Abby Howard (Daylight Media)
Release Date: March 20, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this candid, lively, and down-to-earth episode, sisters-in-law Abby & Abby Howard explore the evolving terrain of beauty standards, cosmetic procedures (especially Botox and fillers), and the many ways they've changed their minds about things they swore they'd never do. The discussion weaves together the duo's personal experiences, reflections on cultural trends, the influence of motherhood, and their signature humor and vulnerability. Listeners are both challenged and encouraged to think deeply about contentment, self-image, and that universal human trait: hypocrisy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recent Life & Travel Updates (03:01–09:20)

• The Abys share stories from a whirlwind work trip to Rhode Island, bonding over long flights, reading, and pizza.
• Book club chatter centers on Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid, leading to an impromptu discussion about planets and interest in space (04:22–05:02).

2. Gloomy Weather & Pizzeria Hijinks (07:01–08:44)

• Joyful digression about eating at Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix, food hype, and managing expectations (07:06–08:44).

3. Vulnerability in Beauty Routines (09:24–15:14)

• The hosts recount the vulnerable experience of getting a spray tan as moms with “more womanly, more mature” bodies, comparing their pre- and post-kids selves.
• Laughter and relatability abound in confessions about body image and feeling exposed.

4. Non-Invasive "Anti-Aging": Frownies (13:06–16:10)

• Introduction to “frownies” (Kraft paper skin patches for wrinkle prevention).
• Discussion about their effectiveness and motivation: “I’m not insecure about my wrinkles, but if there’s something I can do now that’s natural and lowkey, why not?” (Abby, 14:47)

5. Botox & Fillers: Stats, Trends, and Personal Experiences (16:10–41:32)

Demographics & Trends (16:16–18:02)

• Surprising stat: 24% of botox clients are aged 19–34 (16:16).
• Shock over how normalization extends to young women.

The Hosts’ Personal Botox Stories (18:02–23:16)

• Abby’s single early experience at age 24 (“the lady said minimum, I’m gonna put 30 units in your forehead... that really rubbed me the wrong way.” – 19:26).
• Discuss the marketing of "preventative" Botox to young women and industry profit motives.

Where’s the Line: Beauty Maintenance vs. Chasing Insecurity (23:46–27:28)

• The complexity of self-maintenance vs. changing fundamental features due to lack of confidence.
• "I get my hair highlighted. I have a spray tan. I wear makeup every day...so, where do you draw the line?” (Abby, 23:46)

The Psychological Toll & Role Models (27:37–34:38)

• Difference between maintenance and altering features out of insecurity.
• The example set for daughters: “What if my kids think they need to change their nose too?” (Abby, 33:26).
• Caution about influencers not disclosing cosmetic work, creating unrealistic expectations for followers (29:32).

The Filler Debate (41:51–44:13)

• Hot take: “Botox is one thing, filler is a totally different thing... Filler follows body trends. That goal post is always changing.” (Abby, 41:56)

6. Owning Hypocrisy & Changing Your Mind (47:14–66:13)

• The hosts transition into a segment on personal hypocrisy, confessing ways their views and choices have changed.
• Notable confessions include:
  • Planning for breast augmentation after children, despite previously swearing "never" (48:56).
  • Formerly judging people who went blonde, only to do it herself (55:04).
  • Ironies in parenting: making all meals from scratch morphs into chicken nuggets for months (63:13).

Notable Quote:

“Nothing, honestly, has revealed my own hypocrisy more to me than being a parent.” (Abby, 61:12)

7. Listener Hypocrisy Stories (68:35–80:07)

• Replies to followers’ hilarious and relatable calls about what they vowed never to do (e.g., toy rooms, homesteading, Crocs, having a house cleaner).

8. Voicemail Q&A (80:52–87:52)

• What meal would you eat for the rest of your life? (81:09)
  • The Abys choose: eggs & protein waffles, massive cinnamon rolls, Chipotle tacos, sandwich paninis, steak, and soup.
• What makes your house feel homey? (83:54–85:25)
  • Sentimental art and atmospheric, cozy spaces.

Notable Quote:

“[This painting] just feels set apart, something deeper. The rest feels like home decor; that feels like a memory.” (Abby, 85:19)

• How to cope with motherhood anxiety around sickness:
  • Exposure therapy, reminders they know what to do, and trusting their support network (86:35–87:52).

9. Always Hungry: Recipe Swap (88:03–91:28)

• Abby’s Roasted Parmesan Potatoes side dish and protein (ish) balls with oats, honey, peanut butter, and Cadbury eggs for a sweet treat.

10. Appreciating the Community (91:33–92:16)

• Podcast gratitude, encouragement to rate/review/share the show, and tease for an upcoming live event.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On vulnerability and beauty:
  “It’s vulnerable... I just describe my body before kids vs. after as ‘maybe more womanly, more mature.’ Things are different.” — Abby (09:52)
• On the normalization of preventative Botox:
  “It almost felt that... of course I’ll eventually do Botox — that it was just almost the norm, the expectation.” — Abby (18:02)
• Transparency from public figures:
  “I really do think there’s some kind of moral duty if you’re in the public eye to be transparent about some of those things.” — Abby (29:32)
• Changing your mind over time:
  “Your life — you live it, you get new experiences, then your once-held opinions might change. And that’s good and healthy.” — Abby (47:19)
• On motherhood and hypocrisy:
  “Nothing, honestly, has revealed my own hypocrisy more to me than being a parent.” — Abby (61:12)
• Listener Hypocrisy Confessions:
  “I swore I’d never pay for a tan, now I’m desperate for self-tan.” — Listener (71:24) “Swore I would never get a house cleaner once a month – yet here we are.” — Listener (79:50)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Book Club, Planets & Space: 04:22–05:02
• Body Image & Spray Tans: 09:24–15:14
• Botox/Frownies Discussion: 13:06–16:10
• Industry Trends & Early Experiences: 16:10–23:16
• Drawing the Line on Beauty Maintenance: 23:46–27:28
• Beauty Standards & Parental Influence: 32:39–34:38
• Influencers’ Moral Duty: 29:32–30:46
• Filler vs. Botox: 41:42–44:13
• Hypocrisy Segment: 47:14–66:13
• Listener Hypocrisy Stories: 68:35–80:07
• Voicemail Q&A (meals, homeiness, sick kid anxiety): 80:52–87:52
• Always Hungry: Recipe Swap: 88:03–91:28

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Flow & Tone

The episode flows as a blend of vulnerable confessions, lively storytelling, gentle debates, and warm sisterly banter. The hosts maintain a self-deprecating tone and openly wrestle with double standards, making the conversation honest and reassuring. They invite listeners into both the hard and humorous parts of womanhood and motherhood, and create space for disagreement, self-growth, and laughter.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Always Here is an authentic and humorous look at contemporary beauty pressures, changing views, parenting, and the admission that, yes, everyone is a hypocrite sometimes. Whether listeners are considering Botox, wrestling with self-image, or simply laughing at past convictions, this episode offers both camaraderie and clarity — always served with heart.

Transcript

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[Abby Howard]

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Is it true that Botox can help with headaches?

I think that is true.

[Addy]

I've heard that, yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Maybe I'll use that as my excuse. Yeah.

My migraines are so bad. I've never had a migraine in my life.

There is some type of moral duty if you're in the public eye to be transparent about some of those things. Yeah, I will be getting my breast. I don't want my nipples to be cross eyed. Nothing, honestly, has revealed my own hypocrisy. More to me than being a parent.

I'm gonna make them everything from scratch. No preservatives, nothing processed. There was like a seven month period where I made that kid frozen chicken nuggets with shake parmesan cheese on them every single night.

Welcome back to Always Here. We're your host, Abby Howard.

And Abby Howard.

And wow.

Wow.

Life is speeding up fast.

It's crazy.

I know. I'm glad. I like a fast pace.

I know. I feel like you've been on the move, on the go.

Really? Yeah.

All your trips went to Rhode Island.

I guess that's true. That felt like a fever dream. Addy and I went to Rhode island

[Addy]

for like 48 hours.

[Abby Howard]

For like 48. Not even really fully.

[Addy]

Most of it was airplane.

[Abby Howard]

Airplane. Lots of airplane.

That's a long flight from Arizona.

Well, they flew us to Boston and then we had to drive like it was like an hour.

I've been to Boston one time and had amazing pizza with my dad. And so good so that my dad asked the owner if he could ship it to our house. And they said no.

Oh, yeah. Was that embarrassing for you?

No, because I was like, dad, we gotta get this pizza in St. Louis.

Ship it. Yeah, there's a service that does that. Like, they'll send you pizza from New York, like your favorite place.

Wow, that's a good idea.

But I mean, I think the restaurant has to be like a collaborator.

Yeah, of course. Be in on it. They have to pick up, cook pizza.

They're not like gonna just doordash it. But yeah, we went for just a quick work trip with CVS and there and back.

Was that your first work trip? Kind of like that?

[Addy]

That was.

[Abby Howard]

And other ones, like, that was kind

of different, I feel like. But same general thing. Yeah, I wouldn't say it was the first. They're all kind of just different like that.

[Addy]

What I've noticed is that I bet this is my second time going with you on Mostly. It's mostly work that we're doing. And our downtime is reading our Kindles.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, we did that.

[Addy]

We're just those girlies that we just. We went and got pedicures and read our kids for kids.

[Abby Howard]

You don't get a time. Time to read. That's actually the thing that I mourn

the most after reading.

Reading. I know.

[Addy]

You get the whole plane ride.

[Abby Howard]

Whole plane ride. Almost read our whole book club book.

Hey, good. Can I borrow it?

Yeah. I have 30 more pages.

Okay.

[Addy]

Abby, tell everyone what happened to your book club book.

[Abby Howard]

My book club book is soaked in water also. It's still wet.

I'll take it wet.

That's fine. Yeah, I read it. The whole thing's ready.

I'll read it outside.

They're all, like sitting here. My water bottle was undone in my bag and I had a pool, like standing water.

[Addy]

She took everything out and then went and d it in the.

[Abby Howard]

That's the worst feeling.

It's a river.

A river.

[Addy]

It was.

[Abby Howard]

It was so dumb. Like, I didn't even. I didn't close this thing.

Oh. I mean, it happens. It happens.

Maybe the turbulence or not the turbulence, air pressure.

Benefit of the doubt. I mean, on the airplane, if you have your hydro jug lid closed and it starts shooting out, it's got to lose that pressure.

Seriously.

[Addy]

Let's also say Abby talks about her attention Spanish a lot, but this was a five hour flight. Abby read that book all five hours.

[Abby Howard]

So it's a good book.

[Addy]

Not a minute taken away on scrolling on her phone. There was WI fi on the plane. She just kept. Kept reading.

[Abby Howard]

Wow.

[Addy]

Right?

[Abby Howard]

I think I fell Asleep for a minute.

I'm ready for that time length. I have. That's my. My attention span is.

I think it's good.

I think it's a good book.

Entertained, also. I am just entertained. Yeah, that's me. Entertained. Happy.

Well, our book club book, if you guys are curious, is Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid. So when are we talking about that?

Two weeks? Three weeks?

I probably don't have as much time as I need, so my audiobook.

[Addy]

This.

[Abby Howard]

Don't worry, you guys. I will finish it.

It got me really interested in space. This is the second space book I've read recently.

Nice.

And I didn't think I was interested in space. Now I am.

Yeah. I was trying to teach CJ the planets the other day, and I learned that I don't remember the planets. So Mercury. Neptune was the one that I was forgetting.

Oh, that one's a forgettable planet.

That was forgetful.

Literally, as I'm reading this book, I'm like, which one of us three is the most likely if we're given the opportun to go on a rocket ship to space?

100%. You. You. Yes.

[Addy]

Who were you gonna see?

[Abby Howard]

Turbulence.

[Addy]

Oh, Abby was getting scared. I could tell. She closed your book.

[Abby Howard]

One point she was like, yeah, but

you're down for a ride. Like you.

So I'm skydive.

I would.

[Addy]

You would just go and do it.

[Abby Howard]

You would never skydive.

Oh, I have a fear of heights, so I feel like the rocket telling you.

It's a different fear up there. I was not afraid of the height aspect. What were you afraid of? The plane. It was duct taped.

No, multiple.

It was covered in duct tape.

[Addy]

We actually did talk about that too, on our way to the airport. We were talk. And Abby convinced me, I don't want to go skydiving.

[Abby Howard]

I'm actually more afraid of skydiving after having sex.

After doing it, it doesn't seem like something that would give me a happy thrill feeling. I think I would get down and throw up.

It does. I did get that. But I also couldn't breathe the whole free fall.

Yeah.

Because the wind is blowing your face so much. I was literally like, I'm gonna pass out.

I'm gonna pass out.

I'm pass out. Cause I, like, couldn't get a breath of air. And it's really sad. The person I was attached to. Cause you have to tie your first time. Has since passed. Skydiving.

I know.

He said that. He. He, like.

He said he was gonna die going out that way.

Wow. Well, he kept Going crazier and, like, doing more risky, risky jumps. It wasn't just a normal. By the way, I don't think skydiving is really that dangerous, but when you just.

Were they doing BASE jumping?

He was. Yeah. Doing squirrel jumping, BASE jumping, stuff like that. Yeah. Anyway, enough about me. My book is soaking wet, but it. And it's also now, because it dried, it can't close all the way. So it's like, honestly, that's for the best.

I probably need it to be just a little ajar so that I'm like, I'll get in there and I'll read it.

It's open already.

It's already open.

I just got to go read it. No, yeah, it was. It was a good trip. We just. We made it fun.

[Addy]

Yeah, we did.

[Abby Howard]

And we got to meet some fun people, too.

[Addy]

Good.

[Abby Howard]

It was good.

Got to see the east coast for a bit. It's very gloomy.

[Addy]

Gloomy and cold. It was good to come back. It makes you appreciate it more here.

[Abby Howard]

Appreciate the sunshine.

I could see that. I mean, there's so much sunset here, sunshine here. Sometimes I'm like, the gloomy days feel.

It was sweet and cozy. Yeah.

Like, oh, it's amazing.

[Addy]

I was like, I'm wearing a sweatshirt today. You know, it was gloomy.

[Abby Howard]

Well, on Sunday. Have you guys been to Pizzeria Bianca?

[Addy]

No.

[Abby Howard]

I can't remember if I've been or if I've just heard you talk about it.

I talk about it all the time. It's so good.

It looks so good.

The. The Chef Bianco. I'm forgetting his first name. Wait, really? Yeah, it's Chef Bianco. He has a show, like an episode on Chef's Table on Netflix, and it was the first episode, and Caleb was on a plane from somewhere, and the lady was coming to Phoenix just to try his restaurant after watching that. So we watched it, and they. He really hypes up his food in this episode. So I feel like whenever something. Something is really hyped up, naturally I think it's not going to be that good because I'm like. It's just the expectations are so high.

You were just like, matt.

Yeah. I think it's. Maybe it's a middle child thing.

Like, his expectations can completely make or break an experience. Like, if he has low expectations and it surprises him. Amazing experience. If he has really high expectations and it disappoints him. No, actually, I'm not like that.

I don't think I'm like that. No. No. But Caleb is like, that. And that's why I think he likes to properly. He has to, like, properly prepare for something before he goes.

Okay.

Because he has to adjust his expectations.

Okay.

Yeah, I. But I just think when it comes to food, a lot of times I'm like, yeah, it's good, but it's not this incredible experience. Yeah, his food is incredible. And it's so simple and so flavorful. So if you guys are coming to Phoenix, you have to stop at Pizzeria Bianco's. You have to go. It's. Yeah. Every time I go, the quality is the same. It's amazing. So we went there on Sunday with my parents, and then my parents left to go back home, which was sad. Yeah. My mom's gonna come back a little bit in a couple weeks, but my parents snowbird thing has come to an end.

Is she gonna make it to our live event?

She will be back in town for that, I do believe. But I also do believe I'll be putting her to work that day. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah.

It should be there for setting up and all that.

She's coming. I think so. Yay. Yeah. Wait, that's also. I think she's on launch of our plug.

[Addy]

Oh, wait, did you. Did I hear that right? We have a live event. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

We're going to be doing a local live event. I don't know how much details we're going to release right now because we're still in the works, but it's happening in April. Yeah, it's going to be for the Arizona girlies. There'll be a sign up in advance. It'll be really fun.

Yeah, I'm excited. I feel like this will be something that hopefully we can replicate or, you know, learn about setting up events because we're kind of doing it a little. We're doing a little. We're doing it a little Biggie.

Yeah.

A little bigger than what we've done in the past, so be fun. I'm really excited.

Excited to meet y' all that are able to come. Did you still want to do a hope in our r today?

I feel like that was my hope in a heart. Good pizza, sad parents leaving.

My hope is I got a spray tan and it really uplifts my spirits.

That is my heart. You're looking glowy.

Thank you. My heart is also that I got a spray tan. I had to be naked. Simultaneous. Poor, cute, little, tiny, sweet girl has no children. And I don't know. I tell that I'm ashamed of my body. I'm so. I'm not that at all. But it is just like. It's.

It's vulnerable.

It's vulnerable. And I just describe, like, my body before kids versus my body after kids. I just describe it as maybe more womanly, more mature. Things are different. And I'm just like. Sometimes I'm like, I don't know if I would have. If you would have just like. If I would have stood naked before myself before kids, after kids, I would have been like, wow, okay, things have changed. This is different. I feel like she's used to this, probably, but also, all of the girls she spray tans are just very cute little young people.

I know. It's like, I don't think anything of it. And then I'm exposed to someone, and I'm like, well, you know what? I'm thinking about it now.

And it was so cold. The sprayer is cold. I was like, ah, things are happening to my. Like, this is so vulnerable.

Oh, my gosh.

I kept my underwear on. I was like, we are not. Those are brown now. I was like, these are sacrifice.

These are going in the garbage.

Do you guys. Do you.

I've actually never had a person spray

T. Have you had a spray?

[Addy]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I go naked, you take it off.

[Addy]

In my book, they do this for a living.

[Abby Howard]

Like, they've seen you're.

[Addy]

No, I mean, you're not like that open. I was doing poses, but they're not getting down there.

[Abby Howard]

I was doing this.

I didn't feel like everything's tan. Except that I didn't feel like it was that.

Surely they got a tan.

[Addy]

No, I didn't feel like it was that invasive. I don't know what I.

[Abby Howard]

What puzzles I did, but you are negative that someone has a sprayer.

[Addy]

She does it for a living. It's like my gynecologist. Like, they do it for a living. The spray taters do it for a living. Come on.

[Abby Howard]

I mean, yeah. I don't think things.

I think more once you undress, it's better. Like, me, like, I'm taking my clothes off and I'm, like, trying to make conversation.

Oh, she stays in the room, I guess. Yeah. Why would she leave?

She did stay.

I think about that when I get massages. I'm like, oh, I'm so exposed, literally under a sheet. This feels weird. They know I'm naked under here. Rub it on my back, you know, like, it just feels vulnerable.

It is a vulnerable experience. Thank you to Flamingo for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

I don't know if you guys have Ever thought about it? But having a good razor is extremely important. And why is it kind of hard to come by?

It really is, especially in the female space.

For the last three years, I use Caleb's razors because five blades sharp and they move so well.

We might be feminine, but give me

a man's razor, baby.

We need a good shave.

We need a good shave and we

need a durable razor. We do.

We do. And that is where Flamingo has come in to save the day.

The women who helped build Harry's found themselves rolling their eyes when other companies were just shrinking men's razors and making them pink. So they decided to shake things up. Flamingo was born to give women shaving solutions made with their bodies in mind.

Their starter set has everything that you could need, whether it's time for an everything shower or even if you just need to shape up your brow line.

They have facial razors, they have body razors. I love that they have the thing too where you can suction it to your shower so your razor is not just like soaking. Getting rusty.

Getting rusty feels much more hygienic. I agree.

And they're cute too. And we still feel girly. Agreed. Love it. And their branding is also super cute. For a limited time, our listeners can get the Flamingo starter set for only $7 at ShopFlam. Flamingo.com Abby this set includes the Flamingo Original Razor, one 5 blade cartridge, 1 ounce foaming shave gel and a shower holder.

Just head to shopflamingo.com Abby to claim this offer and after you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. So please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Oh, I started trying frownies. Oh, yeah.

Okay.

I started doing these because, hey, I think it.

I. I was watching your video. Your skin was really looking great.

It's really looking great. Thanks. I've only done it five times.

How much are they? Are they expensive?

It's 25 a box and I think

the box they're one time use types of things.

Yeah, it's almost like. Okay, so if you're not sure what frownies are, they're basically kraft paper stickers with glue on the back. This is like not exactly how it is, but you wet it and then you put on your forehead and you have to make like almost like a cast on your face and it hardens and you do it while you sleep. So then your face, it's like controlling your muscles and freezing them for a long, extended period of time. So you have to stay consistent with It. I was reading a lot of the reviews, and people say, you know, you do them, it wears off after like an hour. But if you continue to use for like 30 days and then 90 days, you don't have to wear them all night. Like, your face will stay longer the more often you do them. Does that make sense?

I guess. Like, what's happening?

I don't know.

You said they stink you to wear them all night.

They smell bad. Yeah, it's just the glue that smells. I sleep in them. Yeah.

Is it uncomfortable?

No.

Really?

I mean, it's like, yeah, you can't. But you're not talking or making facial expressions and it's wondering. It's glued to your head.

Bother me, though. But maybe I'll try it.

Well, I sleep on my back. I'm not a stomach sleeper or really a side sleeper, so I don't notice them all. Sometimes I'm on my side, but kind

of on my stomach if I'm totally honest.

Okay. So I'm hearing different things, but my

face isn't in my pillow.

Okay.

It's turned to the side like this.

Yeah, I think it'd be fine.

Okay.

Yeah. And I mean, I'm 29, and I think with pregnancy and postpartum, my skin is so dry. I just look in the mirror and I'm like, dang, I'm aging ag. So I wanted to do something like a fine wine. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I just, I look. And not that I feel insecure about my wrinkles, but I'm like, hey, if there's something I can do now that's natural and low key, whatever, why not take care of my skin and try to extend that? And I've never been opposed to Botox, but it's just not something I want to do right now. So I'm like, well, let's just try this in the meantime.

That's great. And hey, probably way cheaper. Less invasive.

Way cheaper.

[Addy]

I see. Who? Alexa Penavega posts about those all the time. That's how I knew about them. Yeah, she uses them a lot.

[Abby Howard]

And you can get them for different parts of your face, like forehead. They have them for the eyes. I'm just doing my forehead right now.

I just can't wait for. I have really chubby cheeks. It's just a fact of life. And I feel like. Like there's some perks to that with aging.

Yeah.

But also, I just feel like they're gonna sag. They're gonna hang.

No, I doubt it.

No, it's fine.

We all get It.

This is honestly a great segue into our topic.

Yeah.

Today.

Thank you. This is. That's why I said it. Okay.

Well, I was actually gonna ask about your findings because I saw you use it in a video and I heard you say they were stinky.

Yeah, they kind of smell, but not enough to make me not use them. It's just when they get wet, it's like the glue.

The price of beauty.

It is.

So today we are talking about Botox and fillers.

We are.

I want to know the stats.

Well, I read a crazy. Well, when I was doing these frownies, I was just thinking about it. I feel like, you know, I'm 29, and I've just seen so many girls my age and way younger than me start with injectables. I looked up the stat. It said, while the average age for treatment is 43, 24% of clients are aged 19 to 34. And I was pretty shocked by that. By a quarter of botox clients are 19 or 34. I feel like the 30s makes sense, but like, young 20s and stuff. I just was really surprised by that. And I definitely feel like that's the way that culture has gone and what I just almost feel like has become the norm within beauty. But I have some thoughts on it that I, like, definitely want to share.

Yeah, I honestly, like, bringing this up, like, we were, like, talking about. I'm so interested in the conversation of Botox and fillers. It's something I've personally explored, but it's something. Something I've been like. I've just never really had to collect my thoughts personally on it. Right. And so when I knew we were gonna talk about it, I knew that Sadie Robertson and her mom had a conversation on it. So I listened to that because I

was like, it was so good.

I don't have, like, well developed thoughts on this. And I just kind of like, wanted, like, some perspective too. You hear so much in the media too. You also see Botox, like, done really well. You see people that look amazing, that are, like, old. You're like, what? Why does. You're like, probably they're doing something right. And so I just feel like there's just like, so much out there. And like, I also have a lot of friends that are, like, talking about doing it. So I'm just like, I'm interested to have this conversation. And as, like, I'm like, now nearing the end of my 20s myself, like, entering there. Honestly, I feel like when you have kids, it's like you get a couple extra rings on your tree, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, we know.

And so I'm like, it's definitely been something on my mind more. And I'm like, I don't know what my personal opinion opinion is on this.

Yeah, I feel like it's something. And this is where I almost had to stop to question. I'm like, it almost felt that I said, of course I'll eventually do Botox. Like, it was just almost like that's the norm. That's the expectation. And I then I was like, wait, that's kind of crazy that the expectation I have is that I'm going to go spend thousands of dollars on something to try to achieve a standard. And I'm not saying I'm never going to do it. Like, I. I feel like I probably will eventually at some point. And I actually have done it in

the past talk about it.

I did it once when I was 24 and I won a gift card and to a med spa. And I went and got it done. And I had actually previously gone to my friend, did social media in Kansas City, and she brought me to one of her events there. And I got a consultation at this salon event. And the lady was like, hey, you're 24, you're really young. You barely have wrinkles. But if you wanted to do something preventative, I would maybe do like 11 units on your forehead.

So is that 11 syringes?

No, I don't really know what the difference between. Between a unit and a syringes is that like. Yeah, I'll have you can fact check that one. But usually it's like $10 a unit maybe, or $10 a syringe. that time, that's what it was. So roughly, it was gonna cost $110. So in my head, I had that number. I was like, okay, that's not what I want to spend right now. Do you have a fact?

[Addy]

Yeah, a syringe is 100 units. So like a full syringe is 100 units.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, okay.

That's. Yeah.

[Addy]

So it wasn't very much.

[Abby Howard]

I wasn't getting any of that. I was gonna attend to that.

Okay.

So, yeah, 10, 11 units. So I had that in my head. So then when I won this gift card, it was 200. I went to this med spa and the lady said, minimum, I'm gonna put 30 units in your forehead. And I said, whoa, that's like a lot more than I was expecting because I previously been told this. And she said, well, I wouldn't even do anything less than 20 units on your 11s. So I had a 200 gift card that I spent fully just right here in between my eyebrows, that I wasn't even concerned about my eyebrows. I wanted like my forehead wrinkles. And that really rubbed me the wrong way. I felt like she kind of took advantage of me. Like, I mean, I had a consultation. So that's where, like, I feel like a lot of my thoughts on this come in is that I feel like when girls are young, they've been selling this idea of preventative Botox. And that's been the. The conversation. Like micro Botox. Preventative Botox. Start now, while you're young, so you don't have as many wrinkles later and it's not as expensive. But if you're still going and spending 100 to $300 when you're 22 and it metabolizes in three to six months, like, that's so much money in like these people's pockets that really I'm like, it wasn't beneficial. Like, I feel like when you're that young, we are in our fountain of youth, you know, like 40 year olds are trying to look like what we naturally look like in our 20s. And so that was kind of like, I was like, this is not really something that I think I should be keeping up at this point. And also just like the financial aspect wasn't in the. It wasn't even the conversation, but I was like, dang, this is really kind of an interesting marketing tactic. I think it was like preying on our fear. Like my fear of getting older and like aging at such a young age when I was like, I'm actually. My skin is perfect. My skin producing collagen amazingly. You know what I mean?

Yeah, no, that's a good point.

[Addy]

I just found this thing that says, how much Botox do I need? And it shows each segment. So for your 11s, it says it's typically 10 to 30 units. So the fact that she wanted to start with 20 is kind of.

[Abby Howard]

I know. And I didn't even have wrinkles in

[Addy]

my 11, so these are just interesting.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, yeah. I just felt really taken advantage of in that appointment.

Did you like the results?

You know what the. It's kind of funny how they kicked in because it takes two weeks for it to fully settle and work. And I remember the one day my eyebrow like had fully froze and I was making videos when I had my clothing store at the time. And my one eyebrow in the one video is like not moving and the other eyebrows moving. I'm like, this is kind of scary. Hopefully it doesn't stay like this.

Oh, I hate that feeling when you get dental work done and then your mouth ain't moving. Can't take a drink of my straw.

To be honest, I didn't really notice the big difference.

Okay.

Yeah. I was so young, I just didn't really have any wrinkles.

Well, okay. On the other side of things, when people I see that have, like. I'm like, oh, wow. Their skin is, like, really looks really great. The friend. My friends are, like, very transparent. They're like, oh, it's because I get Botox.

I know. They look amazing.

Like, it's really shiny and, like, smooth. And I thought it was like. I was like, what exfoliator are you using? I wouldn't have necessarily attributed that to Botox. I would have attributed that to some type of skin care. Some serum, some type of, like, I don't know, maybe red light. I was like, what is it? And then they're like, honestly, I just keep getting Botox, and they said, it makes your makeup lay on, like, go on really nicely.

I believe that.

And so I was like, oh, that's awesome. But it's never something I've, like, seriously considered. I feel like it's one of those things where I'm like, once you start, it feels like another thing to do. It's like, I already get my hair done. I get my nails done. I'm like, it's just another thing to add on regularly the maintenance of being a woman that grooms herself. And so I'm like, gosh, I got a spray tan. Heck. And so I guess that opens up the conversation of, where do you draw the line? Because in my head, I'm like, okay,

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It's really important to be content and confident in, like, who you are naturally. But then also, like me saying that I wear makeup basically every day. I get my hair highlighted. I have a spray tan right now. I get my nails done. I wear clothes that flatter my body, like I try to. And so things like that, I'M like, where does the line draw? Where does it become, like, an issue? Where does it become too far? And so that's, like, what I've been thinking about, like, and preparing for this, like, the line for me. I got my teeth done, for heaven's sakes. And so that's like a big. That's permanent. And so, yeah, like, navigating that. Like, where does it become a problem? Because I think we can all agree that it can become a problem and it can become a thing where it's just one more. Another thing, another thing, another thing, right? And the other issue that I find with this type of, like. I don't know what to call it, like, slippery slope, is that the more you hear about these procedures, the more you were like, oh, my gosh. Wait, is that a problem I have? Like, you guys were telling me about procedures with eyelids. I never once thought twice about my eyelids. Yeah, you might, like, chin, foreheads, hairline, like, everything. Just. I'm like, I didn't even. I never thought twice about these things. And it's one thing to hear it. I feel like now as like, a mom of two and, like, 27, and I'm like, okay. I feel like I have, like, a balanced head on my shoulders, or I'm like, okay, this is a little bit. This is a little bit extreme, right? But if you were young and, like, 16, hearing these things, and you're just, like, probably just examining in the mirror, like, okay, what are my eyelids doing? What am I nose? What is like, Right. All these different things. And then I also feel like I'm on a tangent here. They all start looking the same. If we're all getting the same procedures done and these cosmetic surgeons are doing the same things, essentially, like, we're all just starting to look more and more like each other, right? And that's not necessarily how we were designed. So basically, like, where do you draw the line for sure.

I feel like that's always the question. And I guess I. I mean, I have zero judgment towards people that get anything, right? Young, old, whatever.

I'm like, Chiclet teeth right now.

Yeah, I will probably get Botox. Like, it's not anything that I have judgment, but I think it does. The questions need to be asked, like, when is it? When is it damaging? Or when is it okay? Like, I think those are the questions we all need to ask ourselves before we make those decisions to go do it. And sometimes I'm like, when really young people are going in to, like, get injections or filler or different things. I'm like, dang it. Just. I'm like, is your. The. I don't know, just, like, you have such. You have so much longer in your 20s and your 30s to, like, grow in your confidence in yourself. And I feel like at that age, you know, my young 20s, like, there were a lot of things that I felt insecure about, and I was just becoming a woman, you know? And so then to have these messages of, like, oh, you're not pretty enough. You're not young enough. You're not. You don't. You don't look at this. Like, look at that. It's like, I think it's easy then to think, oh, I have to do something to, like, change my appearance to have confidence or be pretty or, like, follow the standards of the world and what they say we should do. And so I just feel like that's a really. Like, I just feel like those are hard messages for young women to hear. Yeah, agreed. And so it's like, if you're trying to go in to make a change because you feel insecure about something, I feel like that is, like, a different question versus, like, oh, I get my hair highlighted because I have gray hairs, and, like, I want to cover, you know, my gray hairs or get my hair cut because it's healthier, you know, Like, I feel like there's a difference between maintenance and then, like, changing something because you feel really insecure about something. Like, those are two different motives, Right?

That is true.

That's a good point. And so none of those motives are bad. I just think that you need to evaluate deeply and, like, think through them really clearly before you make permanent decisions.

Like, maybe by the time you're in your 30s, hopefully your sense of self is more established more. And it's not like, yes. Dependent on these, like, procedures. These, like, external things.

Yeah.

And I guess, like, when I was first, like, talking it over, I kept, like, thinking. I'm like, okay, your confidence can't be reliant on this. And I don't think that was actually the right word. I feel like it really is, like. Like Sadie and her mom were saying, like, it's your contentment. Can't rely on that. Because I can say. Cause I was talking to Matt about this. Matt goes, I got a hair transplant. I feel more confident now. And then I was like, well, I guess that's, like, I do feel, like, a little bit more confident when I'm put together. And, like, that was actually even my advice at one point. I'm like, just do a Little bit of something that gives you, like, a little bit. So it's like, it's not necessarily confidence. I do think that confidence does go much deeper than that. Like, true confidence and, like, identity in yourself goes much deeper than that. But I think there's a certain level, like, if we're like, you can get that shallow threshold of confidence boost from, like, these. Some of these external things. Right. But truly, if it's like your contentment in yourself, like, you feel, like, settled in your own skin with what you have, with how you're showing up for people, like, that can't come from these procedures. Like, that's where I think it becomes a problem. And then people are just continuing to. To spend money and pursue the next thing, the next thing, the next thing. And then. Then you look in the mirror and you don't even recognize yourself anymore.

Yeah.

And I also think, okay, this is another. I don't even know if we're ready to jump to the next. My next thought about this.

Yeah.

As someone that is, like, in the, like, we're people in the quote, unquote, public eye.

Yeah.

This is something that my opinion has changed on. And I used to think, okay, like, even if you're in the public eye, you don't owe anyone anything. Like, you don't have to tell them squat about your life, especially if it's, like, regarding your health or something just like, private in nature. And I do have a caveat now, and I really do think that there is some type of moral duty if you're in the public eye, especially, like, towards other women, to be transparent about some of those things.

Yeah.

And it's not necessarily, like, okay, you don't need to give them the details of your personal life, but if they're, like, looking at your face every day and they're like, why does my face not look like that? Like, gosh, I can buy her makeup, I can buy her skincare. I can buy, like, I can, you know, do the red. Like, I can do these things. It's just not really looking the same. I think there is a more. I think there is a moral duty there.

Yeah.

And, like, it's not shame for anyone that isn't doing it, but I personally feel that. So, like, I don't know.

No, I agree. I think. I think one.

It's.

It's really good. Especially if, like, younger viewers that have these expectations of, like, I want to look a certain way, but they. That I obviously can't achieve that.

Right.

And so, like, what you're saying, I Just, I second that a lot. I really deeply respect people when they do share what they've done, because it is deeply personal and it probably is hard. And it, I think, too, like, when you are public and you start talking about, oh, yeah, I did this to my face, I got this or that, then people are like, oh, she was insecure, she wanted to change. And it does open them up to, like, I think, trolls to really pick on them.

Right.

And so I really respect people when they do share because I'm like, that was hard and probably, like, scary to share. And I think you're right. Especially to the younger viewer, I'm like, I think it is important to know that, like, that's just not. It's okay that that's not natural. And, you know, I think it helps set the bar of expectations for self.

[Addy]

I think since it's getting more normalized, people are sharing more about what they've had done. Different things. Like, Kylie Jenner came out and said exactly what her boobs, how she got them done. And then people are, like, going and getting that exact style. Like, everything and, like, boobs look the same, too. That's the thing. And that's all this whole talk made me think about Pamela Anderson. So she stopped wearing makeup a few years ago to everything. She never wears makeup anymore. And it's different. Like, you see her on a red carpet with no makeup on, and it really just. We're so used to everyone being so glam on those carpets that you're like, whoa. And yes, now you just know her that she's just going to show up and just be herself. And so that's kind of of the opposite of being in the public eye. And she said, she described it as a rebellious move against Hollywood's beauty standards. And that's awesome. Just that aging is natural. Women shouldn't feel forced to hide their aging. And it's been fun and freeing for her.

[Abby Howard]

I think that's really interesting because my mom has never had anything done to her face. My mom has had some intense facials and lasers and things like that. So I'm like, maybe you would consider that, but she's never had Botox or anything. I think she's done a really good job. She has three daughters of, like, setting this example of aging naturally and graciously. We were kind of talking about this. Your mom is the same. Like, I look at our moms and, like. And your mom, too. Like, they're so beautiful and they've aged so well and just shown, like, a really natural progression. Of that as a woman. And I do think it is sad when I think about, oh, yeah, that's just my expectation, like, I'll eventually end up getting Botox. Part of me is, like, a little sad that I'm like, oh, dang, now I have a daughter? And, like, what example is that setting for her? Like, is she gonna look and think, okay, eventually I'm gonna have to make changes to my face or, you know, do some of these more ext. Measures to, like, keep up? And I think that is, like, really something strongly that I think about a lot. Like, I don't know what the right answer is.

That was my other big point that I think about a lot, because I think you also have a specific duty, not just in the public eye, but also as a mom. I think especially to daughters, But I don't. I think the same thing extends to boys as well. Like, when you make permanent alterations to your body, specifically your face. Like, things like genetics that you are. You can probably see, like, mirrored in your children. Yeah. Changing that. Like, I. I can't speak from experience because, like, you said, like, my mom has just. She's never had anything done. Literally anything done, except for dyeing her hair. I. I can't say that from my experience, but I have to. I have to assume that there would be, like, a question opened up in my mind, like, if my mom had. Okay, for instance, I don't, like, love my nose. Let's just put my insecurities out there. I don't love my nose.

Oh, I didn't know that.

We trade. Well, it's fine.

You have a great nose. I've never thought that.

It's fine. And we just trademark it as the Bisbel nose. And I made a name. I get it. And it's just one of those things, and I'm like, man, okay, even if I go. And I. First of all, maybe I'm a hypocrite. I don't see myself changing this ever. You know, it's just how it is. Sure, it's me. It's my nose. But also, what does that implication mean for my children? What if they're like, did my nose look like mom? And then she ended up changing it? Or, like, I just. I just do think it opens up. Like, what's wrong with me, then? Or, like, do I need to get this changed, too? And. Yeah.

Yeah. I'd be curious if people. People leave a comment if your mom did stuff and it made you wonder. Because I genuinely want to know. And I've never talked to Anyone? Like, I would love to read the comments on that and get people's opinions, because I feel like that is, like, I'm just sharing my thoughts.

Like, I don't know from my experience, my friends that have moms that had work done, which I also think that the numbers are, as you're saying, like, the statistics are going up like crazy. So we're gonna have a lot more data for, like, really our kids generation.

Yeah.

But my friends, their moms have more work done. They. They have sought a lot more plastic surgery and, like, permanent.

Totally. I mean, it desensitizes it. You know, it's like, oh, that's just an expectation. My mom did that. Of course I'll do it. I think that's part of it too. It's like the desensitization of it all. I mean, we grew up in the Midwest, where this is still decently taboo. I would say, like, yes, it's just a little bit of a different culture around it. Like, they were there with the Botox moms, you know what I mean? And they were kind of like, I don't know what you mean. Oh, really?

Growing up in a small town is an amazing bubble, because, like, I was saying, like, growing up, I had no idea what Lululemon was. I didn't know what any nice brand was. Everyone shopped at TJ Maxx and Old Navy. Like, everyone's clothes were from there or Walmart or, like, the thrift stores. Like, there was no, like, next level there. No one. Everyone had the same hairdressers. Like, no one. There was no. But I can mark my words, there was, like, literally not one person. I was doing any type of med spa treatment. There was no med spas. And so, like, that was just a thing. And then. And so I don't even remember even a talk of, like, plastic surgery. I just remember my mom and grandma's being like, oh. Like, it was just, like, the ultimate vanity. And so, like. And, like, vanity was, like, really, like, discouraged. Like, highly discouraged, which I think is a good thing. But also it is, like, it opens up the conversation of, like, hypocrisy in a way. Cause, like, where do you draw the line? Because my grandma also, like, love her to death. And I say this, like, in an admiring way, because I do. I think it's womanly and sweet and cute. But she would show up to her water aerobics class with a full face of makeup, her hair curled, and would be so mad if she got splashed.

Right? So it's, like, so mad if she got splashed.

She would literally like complain. She's like this guy in the pool and I have my makeup and my lips.

She would never like let me take

a selfie with her without lipstick on. And so, and so anyway, it does just like, there's just so much conversation, so many like, I have so many untethered thoughts in this area. So many like, same disconnected, hypocritical, potentially like thoughts in this area. And so I just like, yeah, because like you're saying I feel like the Botox thing, I was like, I was like, I would never do that.

Right.

And then the more that you're around it here, I think moving out west also too, we're just around it more. You're just around it?

Oh, yeah. It's not a big deal.

It's like, yeah.

And I guess in my head I'm like, why does it feel different? Why does it feel like that next step? And I think probably the price point of it, like it was always accessible to certain people and not to others. And I think that is maybe why in our head. Because I was thinking the same thing. I'm like, how is it different than like going to the gym and like working out to have a good body or like, like getting your nails done or getting your hair? Like, how is Botox different than these things? I think it's just the price point separated people from it. You know, it's like one was accessible to everyone and Botox wasn't. And so I feel like that is, I'm having a breakdown in my head. These things. I'm like, now it's more accessible to more people, more people know about it. So then does it hold the same weight of like, oh, this is way more vain than other things or is it just more accessible? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, did it only feel really vain to me because it was expensive?

I don't know why. Like, in my head it was just like, because it was a needle and I was like something going in, something going into your body. Like, rather than like on top or like changing your hair.

Yeah, I mean, it does feel more extreme. It's like freezing your muscles Here.

[Addy]

Here's one thing too, is having a daughter. I'm like, I don't see myself getting Botox. Like, I don't see myself doing anything really. Maybe a boob job eventually. Never thought I would say that.

[Abby Howard]

But same.

[Addy]

But like, I'm at that point now.

[Abby Howard]

You start considering all time types of things.

[Addy]

But I think knowing you guys and let's Say you got Botox. You got your teeth done. Let's say you got a nose job. I would feel 100 confident if Brielle wanted to talk to someone about it, her being able to talk to you guys about it, because I know you would have thought through the decision and, like, gone through all the thoughts about it. And so that's why I'm like, if you guys did get work done, I'm like, I know they've thought about it. I know they, like, processed it enough that it's not just. Just, I hate this about myself. I'm gonna change it, you know?

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. I think that's part of the danger when it comes to these things. It's like, I think it's so easy, and it is so accessible. And now this is the flip side of, like, people sharing what they've gotten done. I'm like, dang, now everyone knows about all these things that you can do. And so then it's like, oh, I have the slightest issue with this. Like, I just want to tweak it a little bit, and then it'll be better. And that is like, a really, really. I think you're always having a moving goal post of, like, what your standard. Of what your picture of yourself is beautiful is. Like, the goalpost is always going to move if you're like, the slightest thing I can make perfect. And that is like, I think it goes back to your. What you were talking about contentment. This was really. I. I was really impressed, and I highly respect Jesse from Secret Life of Mormon Wives. She just made a video the past week sharing about. She had some pretty, like, dramatic fat grafting done on her face and some different things. I don't remember what her surgeries were, but she had. She didn't really understand the side effects of what it was going to be and what her outcome was going to be. She just kind of trusted what the doctor said, and she said that she deeply regrets it. And she's like, I hate the way I look. I wish I'd asked more questions. I just went off of what was recommended to me, and I didn't really fully understand what I was getting into, and I wish so badly I could go back and change it. And she was really honest about doing these things out of insecurity, which I'm like, I'm. I just think that's, like, a really amazing example for her to set to young girls. Like, one, it's okay to talk about our insecurities. And, like, I was really impressed with her video on it. But I just think we're gonna see a lot more of that, like, in our day and age of people that are gonna do things and then wish they could go back because it is just so easy to get stuff done.

I think that's really admirable, too. I love how you said, like, you're impressed by her being in the public eye and talking about work that she's had done and insecurities too. This, my thought was, like, kind of incomplete earlier about, like, sharing, like, people in the public eye that have cosmetic procedures done of any kind. Really a good point that Sadie had made is that if your job as an influencer, your job is essentially marketing. And a lot of times you're marketing products that are related to skincare and beauty. And then if you're like, saying, like, if you're maybe if you're not explicitly saying. But the. The message underlying is that, like, I look this way because I'm using said product. And it's like, that's actually can be considered dishonest because it's not telling the full truth. It's like a half truth. It's like, oh, and I also spent thousands of dollars getting Botox and filler. And so it's like there is almost like. That's where it almost feels like this transparency is. Should maybe be. I'm not gonna say mandatory. Cause that surely feels crazy, but, like, morally warranted. I don't know. And so. Cause, like, maybe she is also, like, marketing beauty products. Skincare products, I'm assuming.

Yeah.

Of some sort. And yeah, it's an interesting thought for sure.

I have kind of a hot take, and I want to say this, like, gently, but also it is just like, an opinion that I have. So maybe I'll just share it freely.

Wait, let's just also say this. Let's normalize disagreeing with people, and it's actually okay.

Yeah.

And that's what is making this world spin around.

Yes. And I'm specifically.

I. Okay.

I feel like Botox is, like, one thing. I feel like filler is a totally different thing.

[Addy]

Interesting.

[Abby Howard]

I do. In my head, I'm like, I don't think Botox is severely changing your face, whereas I feel like filler is going in and changing your face. So I feel like that distinction is like, I know confidently I will never get filler in my face personally, because I think filler a lot of times follows body trends. And that goal, that post is always changing.

You're right. It is a trend. Because now I've seen the trend of People getting filler dissolved.

Dissolved, yes. And so I'm like, that.

What does that even mean? I know.

It's.

So what do they do to dissolve it? They just inject.

Painful. Yeah, it's like another chemical you have to put in your body to dissolve it and get it taken out. So I'm like, dang. I just feel like filler, to me, feels like I. There's so many women are just really casually getting filler.

And Are they the same people doing it, though? Because I feel like if you go in for an appointment, I'm just speaking out of my butt here, because I don't actually. I've never been to one of these appointments, but if they're like, oh, well, these kind of, like, this can correct this. And it's like, I don't know, because, like, you went in to just get this done, and, yeah, we need this.

Yeah.

I feel like you could easily be

talked into both because it's so easy. And I think we have to remember that. Med spa people. Hey, I love meds by people. There's nothing against you, but, like, y' all are also salespeople. You know what I mean? Like, we have to remember being sold a product. They're trying to make money. It's a business. And I'm not saying that's in a malicious way. They're trying to do that. Like, I think they genuinely think you're gonna look beautiful at the end of it. And, yeah, their work and their product is great, but, like, they're gonna try to sell you on things that, like, maybe you didn't think that you needed or, like, necessarily needed. So I feel like getting multiple opinions is probably the best way to go. So that's my hot take. I personally am like, ooh, filler just feels like such a intense, slippery slope. That is a body trend. Like, I feel like that's always going to move.

Very hot take.

Okay, good.

Also, this is how your opinions form, right? Like, your own lived life experiences. And then life has a way of giving you new experiences and you change your mind. And that's how that's healthy and good and appropriate. But also, like, I grew up in a, like we said, Midwest, small town. My grandmas and my mom have had, like, literally nothing except for getting their hair done. And my grandmas have, like, beautiful skin. Like, I think about, like, I'm like, okay, maybe I just rely on my genetics here, because, I don't know, I. I just am like, gosh, the upkeep just feels kind of miserable, like, at that Point. Like, I'm like, I don't know.

I know it is. It's a lot.

But I'm also. Here's the other side. Flip side. I love being a woman. Like, I love girly things. I love getting my hair done. I love wearing makeup. I love shopping for clothes. I love doing nails. Like, I love all these, like, girly, fun things. So that's the flip side. I. I also just think it's fun. And if that's the thing that you're like, I just think it's fun and it's really not that serious. And I think that's a great motive. More feminine. I think that's a great.

I think that's a great motive.

I just think it's fun.

Yeah, I think so too.

That's how I feel about, like my finger getting my nails done.

Yeah.

Like, it's just fun.

Yeah. I just love it. I think it's fun. I love that.

Insecure about my toe. Thumb.

Totally. That's why I feel about that.

[Addy]

When did you, like, when did you know. Did your mom know at birth that your thumb look like that?

[Abby Howard]

No one ever told me until.

[Addy]

I want to ask your mom when she realized your thumbs look different.

[Abby Howard]

One of my best friends from high school.

[Addy]

No, I kind of am. I'm like, like these, they look normal.

[Abby Howard]

See, in my head, my thumbs are normal.

Well, you got the tips.

That really helps. They're club thumbs. Okay. And you know what? There's probably a procedure for that when you really think about it. Really?

That'd be.

That's why Megan Fox is my icon. Okay.

I only know one of them.

She kept him natural.

She did. My best friend from high school had that and that was the first person that I knew I had club thumbs. And then you came into my life

and I'm like, I can never win a thumb work.

Or maybe you're really good. It's like really strong.

Sneak out.

No, I think this is a good conversation. Again, there's no judgment on anything that's just like

girly. Like, I just. I like, I like doing my makeup. Yeah. I like, I'm a makeup girl.

Yeah.

And so it's like this. This isn't really that different. I could see where you could make the argument and put this all in the same category.

Yeah. I think I just. Vanity mostly just get upset at, like, young girls that I feel like are preyed on. That's what makes me mad about it. I'm like, I'm not even thinking about 30 year olds, 40 year olds. I'm thinking about like the young 20 year old, 20 year olds that are like, I have to do this and it's preventative Botox. I'm like, no offense, but your body's gonna get used to that in 10 years and you're gonna have to get more. And it's like, I don't even know if that's true.

Is it true that Botox can help with headaches?

I think that is true.

[Addy]

I've heard that. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, maybe I'll use that as my excuse. Yeah.

Hello.

Headaches all the time.

Yeah, my migraines are so bad. I've never had a migraine in my life.

[Addy]

Would you, would you first do Botox versus like the piercing that people say help with headaches?

[Abby Howard]

I actually, I feel like I trust

more Botox more than a person.

I trust Botox more just because the type of headaches I get too are all right here. So I'm like, what would something here do? I don't know, like I get them all in the front of my head.

Sure.

But also right now, as of right now, let's mark my words, it is March of 2026. Sometimes I don't know the year as of March 2026, I'm not in the market for Botox. Probably down the line, I don't know. And here, no, here's what you can do. You can clock me down the line. Here you go, clip me, stitch me. You have my invitation for when I'm getting needles in my head, because here's what you can count on. I will be transferring.

I'm like, I'll tell you guys if it happens.

And so that. Honestly, kind of. Did we say everything you want to say about Botox and fillers?

Yeah.

It kind of naturally moves us on to our next segment in which we talk about ways in which that we are hypocrites.

Hypocrites.

Let's, let's talk about it because like we said, like your life, you live it and you're given new experiences and then your once held opinions might change. And I think that's good and healthy, but also could maybe give us the definition of hypocrite.

Yes. Wendy Williams used to always say, I'm a woman. I can change my mind.

I can change my mind.

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[Abby Howard]

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This is a really natural hypocrisy thing because we were literally just talking about this. This. I am, as of right now, probably out on Botox and fillers. I will be getting breast. My breast.

And here the girls will be.

Don't put any foreign substance in your body. Just silicone.

Boom.

Big old silicone.

[Addy]

Not even big. No.

[Abby Howard]

I actually don't want the big. But yeah. So you really could find. If someone there is for sure. I probably said it multiple times.

I will never get them done.

You know why I said that? It's because I had naturally good boobs, right?

You had the best. The best I've ever seen, to be honest.

Thank you so much. And so I was, like, running my mouth like I would never change anything about myself and then have nurse two babies. Things happen. And you know what? But I'm also just gonna give myself a little bit of a free pass here in a way and say, I have been told that I had the biggest transformation that anyone has ever seen in that department.

That video you made that went super viral about your.

[Addy]

When you were showing the. What, you texted it to Blake or you showed it to Blake. He goes, that's AI.

[Abby Howard]

The fact that that's my brother. I remember.

I remember. I mean, you look amazing. This is not. But I just remember when we were nursing together, like, right after we had C.J. and Augie and we Had. We were, like, in one bedroom, just looking at each other. We're like, this is crazy. And I just remember, like, I was like, wow. How do they fit on her body?

I remember thinking, it was so big. Looking at Augie was not a small baby. No. His head in comparison. I made me think of that audio that people use.

[Addy]

Do you have a Nemo?

[Abby Howard]

I have so many. So many can't be shown. But I think about that audio from Nemo. It's like. Like, there's got to be another way. He's just a boy. And it's like, me, like, try. It was just so.

It's honestly impressive. Like.

Like, that's a flag.

Because that's an amazing story.

It's not what I'm sweating. It was so uncomfortable, so crazy, so shocking. So many stretch marks and veins.

You're such a petite, small person. That's what made it so look extreme.

It's just like, you're so smart.

[Addy]

You have a short torso.

[Abby Howard]

Short torso, short person.

It's like, you're so small. And that's just. I've never seen.

Problem, too, is how hard they were.

Yes.

And so they couldn't squish, so they had to go out. So if you really were to take a stencil of me. And so anyway, all that to say they've been amazing. They've been through some things and they don't. They didn't come out the other side looking the same.

Sure.

They don't recognize themselves. If they were to look in the mirror, they're like, that would never be me. And so I am just saying I would love for that to be a day in which they return to their original state of some sort. Obviously, it's going to be a new version of the original. I'm not going to chase my body before. Like, there's a couple things, like, I know you can change. Like, you can get your C section scar lasered off.

Oh, really?

That I'm like, I don't care about.

No one's seen that except me. No one sees, like, the.

I can't even see it. Right. And then actually, I choose not to look down there. Yeah.

You're like, it's fine.

That is fine. Right. Like, I'm not trying to, like, seek genuinely. I'm not trying to, like, get my body back to what I was before. I'm a totally different person. So obviously my body should reflect those changes.

Right.

That's just one of those things where I'm like, please. It would be fun. Okay.

I know.

I Think it would be a lot of fun. It would be so fun for everybody.

Yeah.

[Addy]

Yeah. I'm curious. Would you get your boobs done?

[Abby Howard]

I like the door's not closed, but like talk to me after my fourth kid, you know what I mean? See if you can anymore. Because after the first I was like, nah, they're fine. I'll keep them the way they are. But you know, every time they grow and they go back and they grow and then they get small and it gets. It looks different every time. So I'm like, I'm not gonna make any decisions until I'm fully done. And by that time maybe I won't care.

[Addy]

I'm not even done breastfeeding. I'm already like, no, I'm gonna need, I'm gonna need stuff.

[Abby Howard]

I don't want my nipples to be cross eyed.

I do some freaky things. Okay. Cold.

No, they're not right now. But I'm just saying like, I don't know what's gonna happen down the line.

No one needs to be seeing what this looks like.

I will wait until I. Until the baby factory is crushed. I will wait until then. And I also have prepped my father already. Yeah, I think that's good.

I'm like, we're just prepping.

Prepping the public because I know that everyone gets vic opinions.

Everyone knows your beautiful and perfect the way you are. But thank you for the mental preparation.

Thank you everybody. I've cut my dad because I know that he's not really.

Every time he's awkward, that's the most awkward one of them all.

I'm like, dad, my dad knows what I've done. Just so you know. No, you gotta prep him because I'm like, I don't want you to be startled.

Right? Don't want you. You just come back one day and he's like, whoa.

Oh my goodness. Yeah, so that is where I'm a major hypocrite. Major hypocrite. And you know, I got really flattered one time though because I did get a call consultation really? And she was like, you don't need a lift.

And I was like, tell me more.

I was like, well, that was so nice.

Oh my God. I didn't know that.

I know. Well, you'll see what happens down the line. I. I'm like, the direction we're heading is south.

So I feel like the scary. I'm like, how do you pick a surgeon for something like that?

Like, whoo.

That feels like a big.

Oh. Recommendation from friends. There's actually One person in this area that has done everyone.

All your friends.

Yeah.

Okay, great. So we know.

[Addy]

We know who to go to.

[Abby Howard]

You know, a guy.

It is a guy. It is a guy. I feel like that.

That doesn't. I don't think they think of that.

It does kind of bother me.

Really?

Yeah. Quick. Yeah, it's cosmetic. If it was like health. I feel like I categorize it as like, oh, it's for health. This is like cosmetic. So I guess. Yeah, yeah.

See that?

I did get a consultation from a woman, though, and she was. I didn't get a vibe.

[Addy]

So I would think men are more gentle with women. I do think so.

[Abby Howard]

Women know how tough we are.

[Addy]

Exactly.

[Abby Howard]

Like, we know that you're tough stuff.

Ain't that the truth.

[Addy]

I said that about my OB too. Yeah. I ended up with the man, the male doctor. And I was so happy about it.

[Abby Howard]

Yes. Okay. Well, I loved. I mean, all the doctors practice are so amazing, but I used to be like, oh, I don't want a male obgyn. And then they came in. You're just like, I don't care. Like, please get this. Help me, help me, help me. Give me answers.

[Addy]

I was like, please admit me.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, Literally. Okay. My first one, I'll go with my. I had one beauty, one that I'll do. I said about three years ago, I will never go blonde again. And yeah, last year I was like, I immediately need to go blonde. It was just like something that triggered me. I was like, I want to just let my hair go natural color and be, you know, look darker, a little bit more ethnic, but you know, like a little bit more exotic, you know, my natural self. And then I got pregnant and I started to feel like I was looking really old. And then I walk in there and I'm like, maybe like young and blonde and bright and beautiful and fun.

Remember the last time I got my hair highlighted? Were you. I think you were there.

What happened?

Our father in law, he was like, one day you're gonna not go blonde anymore. Oh, I didn't remember that. I was like, I'm gonna always need to be bright.

There's just something about going a little lighter that just makes you feel alive.

It's just like, yeah.

I'm like, ooh, I'm just so fun, so fresh. So I said I would never do it again. And I win it again. And I'll probably. I'll go back and forth on that a lot, but that was pretty hypocritical of me. I was so firm. I'M like, I will not.

I would also want to describe you as blonde, but you got your hair highlighted.

I got it highlighted, yeah. And I was like, I'm done with that. And I'm such a hypocrite.

Yeah, I. That's gonna be. That would be hard for me to let go of. It would be really hard.

It's a good one.

I only get it done twice a year. But that.

[Addy]

I've never seen your mom with her natural hair color.

[Abby Howard]

I know. It's dark.

[Addy]

I know.

[Abby Howard]

I will say, I think brunettes have it easier. Blondes to keep up your blonde. And, like, as you get older, your roots get darker, you know, That's a lot of upkeep. It's really low upkeep for me. Me. Cuz once it grows out, I'm like, it just looks like my brown hair. Maybe I'm delusional.

[Addy]

I love your hair color. It's like, caramelly right now.

[Abby Howard]

Thank you. I'm getting it done this month.

Let's take a blast to the past. High school Abby. Middle school Abby. This one's an old one, but Matt reminded me of this. I always. I. Okay, let me just say that this started probably at the root of. My parents would always, like, tease me and say that I would have crushes on guys. I was like, I do not have a crush on them. And like, every dad has to do that and every mom. And so there was like. I had a childhood friend that I, like, grew up with, and my dad would literally always say, like, I had a crush on him. And I really did not. I did not. And so I was like, dad.

I was like, no.

And I said, anyway, I will never marry a theater kid. And I always said that. I was like, I wouldn't because he did theater with me. And I was like, I will never do that. I'm not. I'm not interested. Not my type. All these things. And what'd I do?

What'd you do?

Married a theater kid. The most theater. I shouldn't say the most theater kid. The most theater kid. He, like, loves performing. And so that I. I mean, that was just like a. There's no, like, kind of caves. Like, I did the opposite.

Literal, complete opposite.

Literally opposite.

That's so funny. That's a funny thing to, like, put your stakes in the ground on. I will not marry you.

It was so specific. It was like, I had to break that, of course, because I, like, really dug in.

Why are we setting rules for ourselves? We can't keep.

Gosh, I really Thought I could have relied on that one, too. I was like, that was pretty safe bet. Like, what are the odds? Right?

Of course.

Well, here we are.

Okay. My next one's kind of. This is bad.

Okay. What?

This is going to potentially affect my work. So I talk a lot about budgeting, and, like, it's really important. We preach a lot. I do all these Rocket Money ads, and. Wow, we love that rock. Love Rocket Money. I'm not saying that we love it. We've used it for years. And I'm always like, you need to be financially responsible and, like, have good budget with your husband and, like, be a team with finances. Yeah. I don't think I've ever looked at our budget on my own.

Oh, on your own?

On my own. On my own. Like, Caleb and I will go. We'll have our talks together, but I'm not looking at it independently.

Like, play by play.

Never, ever have I ever opened. Like, my app always unloads, and then I have to reload it when Caleb's like, let's talk about the budget. It just always offloads.

Like, let me.

Wait a minute. Let me log in.

It's in the cloud. It's in the cloud.

I never look at it.

Okay.

That's hypocritical.

Does that bother Caleb?

I think he's gonna find out when this podcast airs. Oh,

well, that means you must not be going over, right?

Well, you know what? I do sometimes.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, I do sometimes.

And he's like, wow, this month was crazy. I'm like, so sorry. The budget, you know, I'm like, oh, I should have been looking.

Like, I'm shocked.

I've never.

[Addy]

I wonder how common that is, though, because I'm the budgeter in our family. Blake does. Blake does not have our app downloaded on his phone that we. We budget through every dollar for Dave Ramsey's.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Addy]

Blake has never logged into it, ever. He wouldn't know how to use it.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Addy]

And I do it all, so I wonder. I wonder if that's normal, actually.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. I'm like, Caleb, I think, looks at it multiple times a week.

[Addy]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

So I'm like, I know.

[Addy]

I use it every single day. I budget everything every day. Every single day I budget. I put the. You can I categorize it all. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

See, Rocket Money automatically categorizes it. So I'm like, we don't have to keep up on top of it. So maybe that's. I'm just giving myself an excuse. We do love the app. Like, I talk about all the time. It's been life changing for our marriage because Caleb does a really good job of keeping track of our money thread. And I'm aware. But yeah, I'm just not individually going and ever looking at it. And that's extremely like. I'm like, do we take this out? Is this. Do we need to cut this?

Keep it in.

Okay.

Snaps to Abby. No, that's right, you hypocritical.

I'm sweating.

I'm just kidding.

Hypocritical.

Another one I have. This is in the category of parenting, which honestly, could probably write a whole book on this. I don't even want to know what I said before I had kids.

Oh, yeah, my next.

Honestly, you should never be allowed to say anything about what you're gonna do when you're a parent until you're in that ship. And also, that goes for, like, don't say it until you're also in that stage. Because, like, I. I'm sure I've said stuff about high school kids, middle school kids, elementary school kids. I need to just shut my trap about.

Totally.

I don't. I don't know.

No, I agree.

I don't know. You don't know until you're living.

I don't know what you're. What you're walking through over there.

Nothing, honestly, has revealed my hypocrite, my own hypocrisy. More to me than being a parent.

No, literally.

It's literally. It's also just so. Just like, slaps you in the face.

I know.

Wait a minute.

I know.

Did I say that? Gosh, so many. You. So I could. Once again, this is just plucking one. But this one's so obvious because I even said it once I had kids, but then it changed. Once I had toddlers, I said, no kids in the bedroom. Oh, we have guests every night. Like, literally every night. It's a very rare day that I wake up and there's just me and

Matt in the room. Of course.

Of course, now at this point, we don't have guests in the bed. But I'm also never gonna say that's never gonna happen. Right. We might get a megabed. Once again, honestly, it's all. It's it's all up for grabs. It's all open. I can't be clocked at saying I'm not doing anything different. It's literally. So, yeah, right now, there's no kids in the bed. There's kids in the room.

Of course.

And that's pretty much the same thing.

Of course.

So, yeah, we have just. And you know what? I gotta say, I actually kind of like it. It's kind of sweet. Morning, Buddy and precious.

Yeah, I always think about it. Sometimes when I'm teaching my toddler, I'm like, okay, cj, sugar's bad for you. One gummy bear for your treat or whatever. And then I'm like, scarfing down a bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce. The minute he goes to bed, I'm like, I am such a hypocrite. But I'm too far gone. So we got to preserve his fresh little body. He gets more than one gummy bear. But, you know, just to be exaggerating my parenting one, this is so. This was so stupid of me. This was so judgmental and so stupid of me.

And I've just been the one I taught. You were in a parent pick.

Oh, in college, I was like, oh, kids, they're just gonna eat what I eat, right? I'm gonna make them everything from scratch. It's gonna be healthy. No preservatives, nothing processed. Just the most precious, cleanest, crunchy food to my baby. And then the minute I had CJ and he just did not want to eat any, there was like a seven month period where I made that kid frozen chicken nuggets with shake Parmesan cheese on him every single night.

Parmesan cheese?

Yeah. It was the only way he'd eat them. Like chicken nuggets with parmesan cheese. And I was like, buddy, thank you for eating this. Thank you, sir, for your service. I'm glad you're filled up tonight. And that was just so dumb. That was so dumb.

I've never been there. I'm the same way. I'm sure I said that too. Actually. I feel like I even remember saying that. Like, I was like, nannying kids and I was like, ugh, they're eating frozen food.

Oh, I used to babysit a kid where they would get hot dogs. And I'm like, trust me, I want to get him a hot dog. I'm like, please eat the hot dog, Buddy. It's a hot dog.

That's a win. That's a win.

He won't eat them, But I'm like, the hot dog.

Oh, he won't eat a am.

I mean, occasionally, but I know. It's just you have all these judges.

Hey, I'm there.

I know, I know. And I'm like. I was humbled.

They'll bring you down to your knees. You're like, don't starve. What are you doing anyway? Honestly, our high health is just doing God's work.

Yeah.

Like, how many.

How many vitamins can you take a day, sir?

Those superfoods packets, greens packets, I like, please actually be brought.

I'm like, is whey protein bad for children? He needs something he's gotta eat. My last one's kind of dumb. Kind of dumb. It's not something that I said I would never do, and I do. It's something that I said I was gonna do. And I'm like, there's ain't no way I'm ever doing that. I was so dead when I was in this phase in college. I was, like, exploring the Internet and I was learning about homesteading and chickens and land. And I was like, I'm going to have chickens and live off the land. Can I tell you something? I never, ever, ever want land or chickens. And that is just. In what world would that ever be me? I got a dog and I was like, no more animals.

I couldn't not see you like that at all.

I know. I was like, how amazing would it be to have chickens and farm fresh eggs? The minute I would hear that chicken squawk, I know immediately I would send it back. Like, there's no way that I would ever enjoy chickens in this season of my life.

Was it Ballerina Forever that made you want to do.

No, this was like, way before all that. I don't even know what I was watching on the Internet. This was like, tasty videos. I was just like, wow, I want to be so clean.

[Addy]

And.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, my gosh, it was probably. Probably stemmed from like an ed. No lie. Probably like, like Loki a little bit. Yeah. I'm like, probably from like a not so healthy thought life about food. And now I'm like, I never want land. I don't want my children to run free on property. Like, that's just not me. It's not my personality. And that was so hypocritical of me to ever say that I would do that.

I. I mean, I didn't even know you thought that. So that just.

It was like a really firm season of my life where I kept saying

that, like, how long?

Like, at least two or three years. Like, end of college to beginning of our marriage. I was like, what if we just live on land? And I'm like, why would I take.

You do, like, to be home a lot, and you kind of like to be alone.

That's true,

that's true.

But at least I have people next to me. You know what I mean?

They know that they're there. Yeah.

Like, at least they're there. I don't, you know, know. It's just not my personality. I love that. People love that. And like, there's. That is for people. But just for me, that I was saying so friendly that I was gonna do that, I'm like, that is just so far from who I actually am.

I feel like everyone through a homesteading phase.

Yeah, the homesteading phase was strong. And now I'm like, I'll never make my own bread.

You could make bread.

No, I just want you to make me bread.

Okay.

[Addy]

That's how I feel.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, I'll make. I need to get. I made two bad loaves of sourdough and. And I just put it in the fridge for a while. It's on. It's in time out.

Do you want to know something? I tried to make from scratch. That was so dumb. Peanut butter.

I was like, I'm gonna buy a ruining blender. It was so gross.

And you have to run your mixer for literally 30, 40 minutes. 30, 40 minutes.

They have really clean peanut butters on the market.

And it's six bucks. You know how much a bag of peanuts is? 14. I'm like, why am I spending more on.

Peanut butter is actually literally just peanuts and salt too.

Yeah, most of them are. That's all I buy is just the clean ones. And I'm like, this is cheaper and less time consuming and way less of a cleanup than making peanut butter from scratch. Let me tell you. I was duping.

I did look up an article of things that weren't worth making from scratch.

Peanut butter was one of them.

No, I don't remember that being one of them. One of them was tortillas. I remember that because I was like, gonna try to make tortillas, but I was like, I guess I already buy the raw ones.

Right.

And so, gosh, there's so little time in the day. So little time in your life.

You made those cheez. Its homemade. And I was like, I remember I used to be so on kill. But be like, like we go to the grocery store and he'd walk the aisles. I say, don't buy that. I can make it. And I would never make it. And cheetahs is one of the ones that I used to say, I'm gonna

be easy to make.

But they just don't make that many of them. I feel like you'd eat them in one sitting.

They're actually way more filling than other cheeses.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

If you ate all them, I'd Be very impressed, Abby.

Known to set records.

They didn't taste quite the same, though.

Gotcha.

Because they're baked, and I feel like cheez. Its are definitely. I mean, they're probably. I don't know. Are they fried?

[Addy]

I feel like they're baked.

[Abby Howard]

I think it's baked.

[Addy]

They are 100% baked. Oh, 100% baked. In a massive oven.

[Abby Howard]

They tasted nothing like the ones I made, honestly. I liked mine better, though, because it tastes like real cheese. Yum. But that's different.

Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Redfin. You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking, maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home with agents who close twice as many deals. When you find the one, you've got a real shot at getting it. Get [e-mail] own the dream.

We're very thankful to you guys too, because you make us feel not so alone in our hypocrisy. Because you so generously, so many of you contributed ways in which you're finding yourself hypocrite as well. And we pulled you on our Instagram, which, by the way, if you're not following us, it's always here podcast on Instagram. Please follow us. And you can also participate in these fun polls and engage in that way. It's really fun and special. So we're gonna go through some of these because they're just so funny. This one is from Lauren. She says, I never let my kids eat snacks after refusing to eat dinner. My bad. Literally. That's us.

Yeah, totally.

Matt is. Every time. He's like, wait, did mommy say, you can have this?

I'm like, oh, there's a lot of meat. Please, please just eat.

He's like, we're doing snacks. He's like, I just brushed their teeth. And I'm like, whoops, sorry.

See you in the morning for another brush.

That's something I just feel so bad about. I'm like, I would never want to go to bed hungry. I know. But then I'm like, you did eat your dinner and a whole cup of milk.

Sometimes cj, like, it just becomes a habit. I know. I'm like, I never want to be like, hey, you can't eat, buddy, because I'm scared he's gonna grow up and be like, my mom would have let me eat my food and send me to bed hungry. Like. Like, I feel like he would turn it into, like, some, like, a trauma

or something, you know?

I'm like, I don't. Whatever.

It was my punishment.

I didn't want him to get mixed messages from this.

Seriously.

Okay, this next one, all about Bri said, scroll for hours. Like, she says not to do that. Then she does it.

Yeah, I do that as well. Honestly, when we went to Rhode Island, I got on my phone a lot more, and then it was like I had to rebreak that.

That's what I should have put on my list. Poor Caleb. Like, anytime he gets home from work immediately and he's looking at his phone, I'm like, caleb, the children. It's like he hasn't been on his phone all day. And I'm at home all day, obviously looking at my phone, doing stuff on it all day from the kids. And Caleb looks at his phone for five seconds, and I'm like, get off your phone.

Get off your phone, buddy.

Your kids are talking to you. And I'm like, I'm sure all day. She just was like, mom, Mom, Mom.

I know.

And I'm like, oh, that's just so hypocritical of me.

This person said that they. I'm assuming that. That. Wait, I don't know this name. Anne McLean. Leonard said, Homeschool my kids.

She would never homeschooler.

She said she would never homeschool.

Is she doing it?

A lot of people have made that switch.

Oh, man. You know, it's so tempting. I say all the time, like, I. I wasn't meant to be a teacher, but now I'm like, should I homeschool? I don't know. Should I just pay someone to homeschool my kids?

[Addy]

I don't know.

[Abby Howard]

That's more so. I'm like, that sounds dip down. No, I think my kids will love school. Okay. Shayla, Ham's mom. Shayla.

Okay.

Shayla said, I always said I would never have a toy room. Now our office is a toy room instead. It just happens.

It'll spill somewhere.

Yeah, they're all around my kitchen table right now. I'm like, wish we had a toy room.

Look underneath our stairs. The clubhouse.

The clubhouse, baby.

Eden says, I swore I'd never pay for a tan. Cause the sun's free now. I'm dead desperate for self tan.

Sometimes I remember when, like in college when you used to get out of college and you start having jobs, I'm like, wait, I just can't lay outside and get a tan all day. I'm pale you know, it's like that adult life happens.

And also, you just realize, like, the

sun is kind of scary for you. Ally, I swore I'd go back to work after having a baby. Now here we are. I feel like I know a lot of people that were like, I. I will never give up my job. And then you get a kid. It's just like. Like, who cares about.

You're getting a kid. I got a kid.

You get one of them and you're like, who needs a job? I want to just stare with my babies.

I know. That is. That is real.

It is so real.

Holly says Crocs sore against them. And now I wear them all the time. Lol.

Lol.

I can't support that, actually.

I know I don't wear. I do. Like, I have some really good Crocs flip flops, but I don't have the slides.

Pro Crocs for kids. For me.

Yes. But you know what? I think they're making CJ's run a little weird. I think they're making his knees.

He's running like an octopus. I know.

I think it's because he's trying to keep his shoes on. I'm like, we're strictly a tennis shoe house for a while.

Until that straight ate it so bad the other day.

Yeah, they're not good running shoes.

He didn't even cry. He just, like, froze.

I know. He's so tough. I think he was like, did this have really just happened to me? And no one acknowledged it.

He fell on both knees from the air. I know. And I'm the one who saw it.

I was like, he was so tough.

And then he just stubbed it.

[Addy]

Froze.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. Froze. Froze.

I was like, I thought that was gonna be a cry for sure.

Yeah. He's a tough kid.

Oh, this one's so real.

Brianna said, using a backpack leash on you, using a backbelly backpack leash on your child in busy places.

Gotta keep them.

There's no judgment.

Once you got them, you gotta keep them.

Yeah, right.

Whatever it takes at all costs. If you have a runner, I also have some friends, kids that are like, literally runners. Like, they just don't. It's just in their blood. They don't turn back.

Right.

And honestly, I don't think my kids are far from that. I don't know how to pronounce Jan. Yeah. Jan says bye from she and her Teemu.

Oh, boo. Don't do it.

Don't do it.

But I get the. I get it. It's so cheap. I get it. Harper Said get married. And to a man 20 years older. Wow, Harper, that's a great one.

Actually, I did. I remember when I was a kid. This can't even be consider because I was a legit child. I told my dad I wasn't gonna have kids because it was the day I learned about periods and childbirth and everything. And it was so much for me to handle.

Why would I do that?

I was like, I'm opting out.

[Addy]

Totally.

[Abby Howard]

Sign me.

I love that she said, I'm not gonna get married. And nod to a man 20 years older. And then look how the cards fell.

[Addy]

Look.

[Abby Howard]

Juliana says, I judge people who think they're cool, but I'm a very cool person. I'm confused.

[Addy]

She's cool, but she judges other people who think they're cool.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. She's like, yeah, but she thinks she's cool.

She's like, I'm very cool. I love that you're swaying on the side of confidence.

Yes. I love that. K said, date my now husband.

Oh, wow.

Wait, I don't get that.

Oh.

She said she would never date him. And now they're married.

Dang it.

He won. He pushed past the friend zone.

He really fought perseverance.

He persevered.

Maddie says, have children. I swore I would be child free. Now I have two, and I want four more.

[Addy]

Wow.

[Abby Howard]

I love when I get messages. People, they're like, you ready to have a kid? I'm ready, and I'm three months postpartum. Like, no, no.

I have a theory that I was telling Addie the three to six month postpartum. There can be. There's something that happens in your hormones that can happen.

Maybe because there's a possibility of.

It's just like, I gotta break another and it eases a little bit.

Yeah.

Like, I don't think I felt that.

I just am more like, I don't want to be pregnant for a long time. Okay. Beautifully refined. Said I sweat. I said, I would never become a cross fake geek. That's a real one.

[Addy]

I feel it. Even with, like, our gym, I like, I used to be like, no, I like working out on my own. I like making my workouts. I like wearing my headphones. There I am.

[Abby Howard]

Same at. I used to be. So, like, why do I need to join group fitness? I work out on my own just fine, and then I join groups and I'm like, it's amazing. I love it. Kaden said, I swore I'd never wear my hair in a slick back.

[Addy]

Ha.

[Abby Howard]

That lasted five minutes.

Honestly, same.

The minute that became a trend. I was like, this was meant for me.

Sh. What is it? I don't know.

Shany. Shanji. Shanji.

Shanji. Surely not.

It.

I have no idea how to.

Shany. Shanny something.

[Addy]

Marie.

[Abby Howard]

Marie.

Shany. You're thinking of Kanye. Shan. Shanji.

I think I'm saying.

It said, give my kids sugar before the age of two.

Yeah, I know. I was like, oh, no screens before the age of three.

Same with screens. I was gonna say, it's like, when you have older siblings, what are you gonna do?

Sorry, honey. You gotta lock yourself in the other room while your brother watches the show.

Like, what are you gonna tell you two? Come out later for three years.

Okay. Kyra said, buy my child character clothing. But he loves it so much. And I do too. Now. It's such a sweet time.

Just let em. Just let him.

It's supposed to be fun.

I've heard that one before. And I was like, why did you even think that you wouldn't do that? All my kids wear is character clothing.

I know, it's cute.

Never. Oh, Macy says, never talk to my in laws again. And then start talking. Talking to them again. Best decision.

Oh, that's a redemptive one. That's sweet. I'm glad they proved you wrong. That's sweet. C. Sully said, wipe my son's boogers off his face with my bare hands. Yeah, you gotta do.

Yeah, let me pick your boogers.

Let me get over there.

Morgie says, let my kids eat dirt, but here we are, and there's no stopping them.

She's rolled over. She's like, you gotta do it.

Our vegetables. And that's where our vegetables grow.

That's a. That's true, Abby. That's. That's some good encouragement.

Probably some good nutrients in there.

They're getting some good iron and stuff in there. Not iron, but. Emma said, I get mad at my hubs for leaving crap all over the house, but it's okay I leave. It's okay if I leave my stuff. So true. I'm like, caleb, you're socked. You look around the house. It's a big stuff. Spice ups everywhere.

Like, well, yours is just rubbing me wrong.

Have you seen that trend online where people are like, my husband, toothbrush. How dare he leave my. His toothbrush out like this. And then he pans over everywhere on the sink.

I know my.

That's my life.

I'm weird because I'm like, if my kitchen in my living room is clean in my dining room, like, my lower level, my it doesn't matter what my upstairs looks like. Yeah. My bathroom closet.

Right. Who cares? Scary. You need one. Chaotic place.

I believe I got more than one.

For sure. Yeah. Mine's right next to my nightstand.

Great.

Yeah.

Right where you need it.

Yeah.

Yeah. Molly says wear thongs now she's wearing thongs.

I felt that before the dark side. They're so comfortable.

[Addy]

I was like, how could that ever be comfortable?

[Abby Howard]

I have a hot tub. I'm wearing less wedgies with thongs.

Same.

[Addy]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I'm always picking my butt when I have to wear my full underwear.

You might not have to wear my full underwear.

[Addy]

Those are. Those are my postpartum underwear. Pregnancy and postpartum underwear is the non thong area.

[Abby Howard]

But I had to put that full panty on. I'm like, ugh, all day.

Especially our generation, though, because I feel like our moms are. Would be like, what in the world do you remember?

When did you start wearing thongs?

Oh, high school, probably. Maybe even junior high.

I think I started at 6th. 6th or 7th grade.

My parents knew that I wasn't talking to boys.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I started wearing volleyball shorts.

For me.

I remember the cool girls were wearing them. So I was like, mom, I need to go buy them.

[Addy]

When I started wearing leggings, and it

[Abby Howard]

was leggings, and I played volleyball, so it was like, I evolution.

[Addy]

Are you guys underwear with your leggings, people?

[Abby Howard]

Absolutely. I am.

[Addy]

Me too.

[Abby Howard]

So shocking to the thought of just putting those on raw.

Dogging it without. Yeah, I know people do that.

I know they do. And you can tell.

You can't tell. Ladies, we can tell.

Unfortunately, we love the female body. But.

But I. There's a time I prefer a smoother look.

Literally, a little drier.

So describe.

Literally. Okay, last one Mrs.

Brandy said. Swore I would never get a house cleaner once a month. Yet here we are. Ms. Brady, why would you ever say that? You would never do that. That is a dream come true.

It is a dream.

It's amazing. That's the goal.

All right, that's great. Thank you guys for sharing. We're all hypocrites. It's. It's. To be human is to be a hypocrite.

I honestly think it is.

So there we go. Integrity is important. Yeah.

Please call me out of a mess as we're. Integrity is so important. Ask, ask, ask Abby.

All right, let's move on to voicemails. Once again, thank you, guys. For those of you that call in.

Oh, yeah. The number is 602-456-96.90. And it's also in our Instagram bio if you missed it. So you guys can give us a call, leave a question or a message. We are so grateful. Yeah.

And honestly, load us up, because I feel like it'd be really fun to do a whole episode of we should

do that in the next couple weeks.

Yeah, that'd be really fun.

So once a quarter.

Load it up.

Hey, y', all, this is Madeline. I was wondering, if you could only eat one breakfast, one lunch, and one dinner every day for the rest of your life, what would it be? Thanks. Great question. Thank you for the question. Hers is it Madison.

[Addy]

Madeline.

[Abby Howard]

Madeline. Thank you for the question. Okay, let's start with breakfast.

I already eat the same breakfast basically every day.

[Addy]

I was gonna say, I can tell you.

[Abby Howard]

What is it? Two hard boiled eggs.

Three. Four.

[Addy]

Okay, three. You're both wrong.

[Abby Howard]

Both wrong. You don't know me.

You don't know me at all.

I eat three eggs seven times. Hard boil, sometimes scramble if I'm feeling crazy and some carb. But usually it's like a protein waffle or two. I'll have two. There's our muffin and coffee every morning.

Beautiful. Okay. This is my dream breakfast every day that I would eat every day for the rest of my life. Yeah. A big old fat cinnamon roll. Ooh, maybe two.

See, I'm a savory girl.

Really? I mean, yeah, I feel better when I start with the savory.

No, I like, like the taste of it better, actually.

Oh, no, I don't like. I never like the taste of savory.

I like sugar.

But, yeah, I would start. I would start with a big old fat cinnamon roll every day.

That's so good. I could do that lunch. I mean, I feel like I always eat leftovers, but I. A good lunch that I honestly don't get sick of is chipotle tacos.

Yes. They're good. They're light.

They're light.

Yeah.

It's not overly full. They're fresh. And I feel like. I just feel good.

Yeah.

When I eat them.

Yep. I could eat for lunch every day a pesto panini sandwich. Yeah. I love a good pesto on a toasty bread. Put a little cheese in there, a little feta, mozzarella. Get some tomatoes. Oh, maybe some rotisserie chicken on that. I'm actually. I have these ingredients at home. I'm gonna make it.

Yeah.

It sounds so good. I could eat that every day.

Dinner, chips. Ooh, I know.

Oh, with chips. Sounds so good right now. Right.

For dinner. I'D say. I honestly, I feel like if I had to eat it every single day, you gotta just taste like steak insides. Like that just feels. I gotta get full. I gotta get full. And I actually really like steak.

Steak is delicious. Yeah, I'm gonna say soup. Soup. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's a safe one. You can make it so many, so many different ways.

But yeah, soup. I pretty much do this already. So super nice.

You're like, I'm actually living this already.

I actually am living my reality.

So are you making soup tonight?

Possibly. Because I don't have chicken thawed and I've forgotten always to cook chicken apparently, so I probably will be putting it

into a soup chicken breast. What do you do other than put it?

Yeah, I'm like, what am I supposed to do with this chicken again? Hi, Abby, this is Anna. I have recently been reviewing my house and I've been listening to the podcast while I've been painting, and I was just wondering, what is something in your house that makes it feel extra cozy or extra homey? Either something you bought or maybe it's a color you've painted a room or something you've added to the house. Yeah. What makes one of your spaces feel extra cozy and homey that you really love? I love that question. You go first.

Mine is like actually kind of emotional. But that painting you got me, Abby and my mother in law got us a really meaningful, like custom painting. And I feel like my house, like my house up to this point has like just kind of feels like anyone's house, I guess. Like there's like, I think it's beautiful and I love my house, but I'm like, it just doesn't feel necessarily personal. And this painting is just so. It's in memory of our daughter and it's so beautiful and so personal. And we put it in a place where I literally, I'm always standing at the sink or like cooking in the kitchen and I just like look at it all the time and I'm like, ugh, it's so sweet. It makes me cry. Like, yeah, it's just, it's a physical thing too that you can like look at and have like, it feels like honoring and like a great memory of her. And I feel like when you gave it to me, I had no reaction because I just like shut down down because I was like, oh, it's a lot of emotions and our whole family is here and I just feel like I never properly, like, told you how grateful I am for that. But, like, that's the first thing that came to my mind. Like, it's so special and so beautiful.

[Addy]

Sweet.

[Abby Howard]

I know.

Your friend did a great job.

Oh, yeah.

I'll shout her out.

Her name's Autumn Matney Design, and she does. She's a really good artist.

Yeah.

I'm glad you like it. It's always risky, like, getting home.

It was funny because you said that to me. You're like.

[Addy]

I was.

[Abby Howard]

I'm glad you like it because it's risky with home decor.

It's like, it doesn't even necessarily really

feel like home decor to me. Like, it feels like. I don't even know how to, like, describe it. Like, I don't know. Something deeper.

Yeah.

The rest of my house stuff feels like everything else on my walls feels like home decor, and that just feels, like, set apart, like, different. Yeah.

Good. I'm glad you like it. Yeah. That was Caleb's idea. Yeah. He was like, we should get him a painting. And then, yeah, we all went in on it together. So I'm glad you. I'm glad you. We were really excited to give it to you guys. So glad. I think our bedroom is, like, my favorite room in our house. It's really cozy, and I think it's because we did paint. Like, our bedroom itself is a smaller square footage, and so I was like, let's make this room feel, like, kind of dungeony and cozy since it's already a little bit smaller. And so we lime wash, painted it a darker color, and we brought up to the ceiling. And I just love it. It feels so cozy and like the little sconces on the wall with the lighting, it's just dim and really relaxing, and I love it in there. Hi, Abby, Abby and Abby. My name is Cali, and I first wanted to say that I love listening to Always Here and Unplanned every week. I just find them so relatable, and they are some of my favorite podcasts. I have three kids under four, and I noticed that ever since becoming a mom, my anxiety surrounding sickness has increased. And I was wondering if any of you wrestled with that and if you do, how do you work through it or what are some tips that you find helpful? Thank you. Oh, yeah, I've felt that a lot. Yeah. Thanks for calling and sharing that, because I've definitely. Especially, like, when. With cj.

Okay.

When CJ was little, I don't think I worried about him getting sick at all. Like, it was just this weird thing where I was like, he's just gonna get sick. And then with Vivian, I feel Like, I've been more anxious about it, and I wonder if it's because, like, you just kind of see how it affects your home when your kids get sick more. It's like, oh, when one goes down, we all go down. And, like, they're so miserable, and it's sad seeing them hurt and stuff. And so I think experiencing it with CJ then I was like, I don't want to have. I don't want, like, Vivian to have to go through that, too. And so I think my anxiety, I would agree, has, like, gotten worse, maybe with the second child. So I've been trying to work through that, too. And I've just started bringing her child care finally. So I don't. I actually don't have an answer for you because I feel like that's something I'm trying to, but maybe a little bit of exposure therapy. I know, like, once she gets sick, it's going to be okay. You know, like, we know what to do and how to handle it and how to take care of them. And I think I just have to remind myself that I'm like, if she does get sick or if she, C.J. does get sick, like, we know what to do. We know how to handle it, and if we don't, we have a great team of doctors that can also handle it. So it's like, obviously, I'm not gonna have her go lick the floor at the mall and, like, be okay with that, but, you know, it's just inevitable when they're around other kids and stuff. It's like, it's better for my kids to be around other kids and to play and socialize and learn that than to, like, keep them in a bubble. And so I just had to remind

myself that that's a good answer. Should we move on wrapping up with Always Eating, Our newest segment, I guess, where we share a recipe for the week.

[Addy]

Someone said we should change it to Always Hungry. And then it's, ah, I did do

[Abby Howard]

that, and I kind of like that.

Okay, it's now Always Hungry.

[Addy]

Guys, we listened to you. Do you see my wall?

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, no.

Your wall looks so good, Addy. I liked Always Hungry too. Cause I saw that comment. I was like, she's so brilliant. We should put her on our marketing team.

So smart. Hire her.

Mine actually isn't a recipe link. It's a recipe that I have created in my own head.

Mine is, too. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. I feel like I probably saw something similar to this, and then I just did.

Recipes isn't it.

I guess similar techniques. No, I. I actually usually follow recipes very literally.

Oh, I never do.

Okay.

So I was like, actually, I don't have a lot of links.

What's yours?

Okay, mine. I make this side dish all the time. It's roasted parmesan potatoes. It's my favorite.

It.

It's my favorite to make. I love it. I'll get those cute. Those little. Sometimes the gold potatoes or the medley potatoes, and I'll have them put them in a bowl all together, and I'll mix them with olive oil. All this is eyeballed. Okay. Olive oil, paprika, salt and pepper, rosemary. Very important. I just do the dried rosemary and maybe sometimes an Italian seasoning. Those are my seasonings things. And you just stir it all up. Mix it up really good. And coated on a sheet pan, not oiled. I will put a bunch of Parmesan cheese down on the pan, and I'll put the potatoes down, face down, and just line them up evenly on the pan. And I'll roast them in the oven at 450 for about 20ish minutes until they're fork tender. And then when you get. They come out and you scrape them off the pan, and the parmesan gets all crusty. And the potatoes are really good and seasoned and salty and rosemary and peppery and kids. So good. And you just dip them in some sour cream or just have them on their own. Or a tzatziki. It Not a tatiki. That would not be good. But any sauce.

It can be bad.

It could be bad. You're right. It's a great side with chicken. Maybe I'll do it tonight because I have potatoes and I have chicken.

There you go.

Yeah. It's so good. And you can't mess up the seasoning. You just got to put it yummy, you know? But it's my favorite.

That sounds good. Mine is like, I call them protein balls. But if I'm totally honest with you, don't add up the macros on this because I don't think they are high in protein. I don't like protein powder in my protein balls. They're fine. I drink a protein shake every day, so I'm like, this really is just like the perfect little bite. This is where, okay, you eat lunch and you're like, I could use a sweet treat, but I can't really. Lunch doesn't necessarily qualify for a dessert in my head. And so I love a little ball. And it's literally just. Just oats, honey, flax seeds, peanut butter. And then you can use chocolate chips or like I've been recently crushing up Cadbury eggs. Tis the season. You could just use any kind of like chocolatey treat. And I'll put the measurements in the description that I use.

Yeah, yeah.

They're not high in protein, but they are very satisfying. Here's the thing. If I'm going to have like a snack or like a sweet treat, like, I really want it to like satisfy. This actually is filling and it. It is very satisfying. It's a really yummy little sweet treat and our whole family likes them. My kids will eat them and yum. I really like them and I feel like they're a good staple. Just put make the balls and throw them in your fridge and just nibble at them throughout the week.

You're really good at cooking seasonally. Seasonally?

Really? Thank you.

I don't like baking seasonally.

I just think it's fun.

Yeah.

Oh, I do like to bake. That's the thing. I wish I like to cook as much as I like to bake. I do really like to cook too, but baking feels more fun. But it's not as is practical.

Yeah, but it needs practicality in their day.

Right?

We don't need that. Well, you guys, thank you so much for following along. We do have a review here from Brooke. She said, love this podcast. 31 year old mom and this is the perfect fun podcast to listen to. And the abbeys are so sweet and fun. 10 out of 10 recommend. Thank you, Brooke, Ashley.

That means so much. Thank you to all of you that engage with the podcast in any way. This is my little plug to encourage you if you haven't already done so like this episode. Share Comment Rate Review it. Do all the things. What can you do? Download, save it. Do the things.

Do all the things.

And we're very grateful to you and as is our entire team.

[Addy]

Yes.

[Abby Howard]

Is that all for today, ladies?

[Addy]

Yeah. And just keep your eye out for our event that's coming up. Details to come later.

[Abby Howard]

I can't wait to announce that. It's gonna be so fun. Well, thank you guys. And remember, we're always here.

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