Breakups, Bankruptcy, and Becoming a Mother - with the Abbys

Summary

Always Here | Episode: Breakups, Bankruptcy, and Becoming a Mother – with the Abbys
Airdate: January 16, 2026 | Hosts: Abby Howard & Abby Howard (Daylight Media)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Always Here, hosted by the dynamic sister-in-law duo Abby Howard and Abby Howard, is an intimate and funny conversation about the major "eras" in each of their lives—breakups, business heartbreak, becoming mothers, and all the hope and hard moments threaded through. With their signature humor and vulnerability, the Abbys swap stories of high school first loves, college mishaps, career pivots, financial challenges, and family-building, inviting listeners to both laugh and reflect. As always, they wrap hope and struggle together, modeling friendship and resilience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Hopes, Hards, and Everyday Life [02:09–12:00]

• Hope Moments:

  • Rose shares her excitement over renovating the family fireplace, despite marketplace quirks:
    “We found one for like 50 bucks off Facebook Marketplace... but it does whistle. Like it's just plugged in and it whistles all the time… almost sounds like a cricket.” [03:37 – Rose]
  • Abby plans a solo Disney trip with her kids while the men have their own Universal adventure:
    “I feel like I'm always talking about Disney, but I really am looking forward to it.” [05:58 – Abby]

• Honest Hards:

  • Abby opens up about ongoing struggles with fear and anxiety in the wake of loss:
    “I'm just struggling with fear recently… I can't really quite get a break from it.” [06:16 – Abby] Rose commends Abby’s emotional processing:
    “I feel like you've done such a really good job and you're so wise when you share things… you have it, you’ve… done a really good job of processing and sorting it in your mind.” [06:50 – Rose]

• Motivation in Fitness:

  • The group discusses post-partum fitness and the humility of rebuilding strength:
    “It's humbling. I'm like, I know I moved… It's gone. It is gone. And we were rebuilding from the ground up.” [09:53 – Rose]

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2. Pop Culture Corner: "The Housemaid" Movie Review [11:39–17:37]

• The Abbys and Addie recount a recent girls’ movie night, diving into both the plot and the movie’s surprising graphic nature.
• Glowing praise for Amanda Seyfried’s performance, with sidetracks onto her career:
  “She is so talented.” [13:59 – Abby]
• Real talk about how explicit scenes can be awkward—especially sitting next to your mother-in-law:
  “I said, I can't watch this next to you.” [14:49 – Addie]
• Mixed recommendations:
  “I recommend it. But also, just know what you're getting into before you… I mean, maybe if it's not your thing. Like, it's not Abby's thing. I like that type of story… good acting. Well done.” [17:14–17:23 – Abby]

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3. Book Chat: Abby’s Cozy Book Corner [17:56–27:17]

Abby reviews her most recent reads:

• The Locked Door by Freida McFadden (5 stars): “It's just like, a good suspenseful thriller… cliffhanger, so you just tear through it.” [19:14 – Abby]
• Turtles All the Way Down by John Green (4 stars): Praised for authentic portrayal of OCD and a compelling reward-driven plot.
• The God of the Woods: Noted for its Taylor Swift-approved buzz and “million characters,” given 3–4 stars.
• Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfield: Enjoyed the workplace setting but disliked COVID and politics themes:
  “I don't want to read about it. We lived it.” [24:13 – Abby]

Book Taste Chat:

• Short vs. long chapters, audiobook merits, and staying motivated after a book club “disbanded.”
• “I told Matt... I could literally sit and read a book cover to cover and I'm so happy… my attention span is really long for reading, but with kids, it's interrupted.” [27:13 – Abby]

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4. Life Eras: Behind the Scenes with the Abbys [27:56–70:51]

A deep-dive, “Eras Tour”–inspired sharing of pivotal seasons from youth to adulthood:

Rose’s Eras:

• Bleachers at Sunset (Volleyball Era):
  Rose’s athletic identity, college volleyball dreams, and the shock of a toxic team dynamic:
  “I remember crying almost every day. Like, I would go in the showers and just cry. And the whole time I was at that school, I was actively transferring to leave…” [30:25 – Rose]

• Red Cubs to Redemption (Party to Faith):
  Partying to Bible study and personal transformation:
  “I had this totally two different worlds of, like, pursuing faith and also pursuing the party… after a couple years of reading the Bible, I was like… I gave up the party girl life.” [39:03 – Rose]

• Stitched from a Daydream (Girl Boss/Entrepreneur era):
  Founding a clothing boutique, moving, facing business debt, and the eventual closure and recovery:
  “I didn't realize at the time when I was 21 and signed up for a credit card that that debt would become my personal debt… it just racked up so fast and it literally… I've never felt like I was drowning so deeply.” [50:49–51:04 – Rose]

• The Comeback Era:
  Post-business closure, social media opportunity, and regaining confidence:
  “Slowly I was able to build my confidence back up. I feel like just day by day, when you just continue to show up… you just slowly start to feel like, okay, we're fighting our way.” [58:14–59:00 – Rose]

Abby’s Eras:

• Passion, Paths, and Friendships (High School):
  Energized activity and first major romance:
  “I actually loved high school… that's why I also am like, I don't—I love that I was able to just, like… try everything.” [33:15 – Abby]

• First Steps in Heartbeats (College):
  Light-hearted fun, church group antics (like dressing up as founding fathers at a frat party!), and “Goop Coop” house memories.

• Newlywed Dreams and Humble Beginnings:
  Married in college, living in subsidized housing, and the eye-opening humility and joy of shared community and tight budgets:
  “Living in this government subsidized housing for the year and a half that we lived there was honestly, I needed it. I really needed this… I had all of my needs met… these kids… their playground was the parking lot.” [53:10–56:52 – Abby]

• Waves of Change (Pandemic/Move to Hawaii):
  Pandemic job loss, YouTube career beginnings, a difficult season in Hawaii, loneliness, and adjusting to a new marriage dynamic:
  “That was just a really, really hard year… it was also mixed with the fact that my husband was living his best life… and so it felt like for a while I was like, I got to just, like, keep doing it because I can't bring him down.” [63:53–67:36 – Abby]

• New Roots and Bright Skies (Moving to Arizona/Family):
  Establishing new community and roots in Arizona, building family, entering adulthood confidence, and finding excitement in the unknown:
  “I have, like, confidence, and that's different than what I had as a young adult… I feel like we're getting to a more comfortable place and just really grateful for where we're at.” [68:33–70:36 – Abby]

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5. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On overcoming business setbacks:
  “I've never felt like I was drowning so deeply… but there's hope. There's light at the end of the tunnel. You can get through it.” [51:04 & 51:38 – Rose]

• On friendship and showing up:
  “You would just come over and help me pack orders… that was one of the most, like, meaningful things ever.” [52:33 – Rose]

• On marital transitions:
  “I had always been, like, so close with friends, and it did put a little bit of me on a weird playing field with my peers because I'm not living on campus. I'm living in an apartment off campus. And I'm married. So, like, my first person to go to is my husband now.” [53:10 – Abby]

• On life's unexpected turns:
  “I feel like I have navigated enough things, like, where I can say, like, now I'm like, okay, I feel like an adult now.” [68:33 – Abby]

• On resilience:
  “You radiate confidence… you come out so confident and strong… I'm amazed at the woman that you are.” [70:37 – Rose, to Abby]

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6. Audience Q&A [72:36–end]

• Finding community as a new mom:

  • Utilize local kid-centered resources and go “first and be weird”:
    “John Deloney says this is go first and be weird… you gotta just, like, throw it out there.” [73:27 – Abby]
  • “No one’s at fault” if there’s a friendship miss—just keep reaching out.

• Toddler tantrum strategies:

  • Distraction and “taking a break” with empathy at young ages.
  • Naming emotions for kids:
    “I want them to know, I'm like, it's okay to be angry. Like, we can't be mean, but it's okay to be angry.” [78:45–79:57 – Abby]

• Tips for college freshmen:

  • Say yes to everything, join clubs, get hands-on.
  • Don’t go into avoidable debt—be disciplined early:
    “Remain disciplined in your finances from the very beginning, because it is just the first time in life that you can make this pitfall…” [81:45 – Abby]

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Timestamps: Important Segments

• 02:09 – Start of hopes/hards/house projects
• 05:58 – Abby on fear and emotional processing
• 11:39 – “Housemaid” movie discussion
• 17:56 – Cozy Book Corner
• 27:56 – Major life “eras” sharing
• 50:49 – Business, bankruptcy, and recovery
• 63:53 – Hawaii "waves of change" era
• 68:33 – Arizona, family, new confidence
• 72:36 – Listener questions: community, tantrums, college advice

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Original Language & Tone

The episode blends humor with gravity—Abby and Rose balance “heart and hope with heart and humor,” as they say. Teasing, laughter, and self-deprecating banter give way to open, sometimes tearful admissions about hardships, loss, and financial fear, all framed within deep, multi-generational family connections.

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Final Takeaway

The Abbys don’t shy away from messy truths—breakups, bankruptcy, hard motherhood days—but wrap each era in hope, honesty, and practical love for each other and their listeners. Whether you’re moving cities for a fresh start, closing a business, or just trying to find your people, you’ll find yourself laughing and tearing up right along with them.

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“Remember, we’re always here.” [82:49 – Rose]

Transcript

[Abby]

The world moves fast. Your workday even faster. Pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 Copilot is your AI assistant for work built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint and other Microsoft 365 apps you use, helping you quickly write, analyze, create and summarize so you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn [e-mail] M365 copilot It's the final.

[Rose]

Chapter of the College Football Playoff.

[Abby]

It comes down to this.

[Rose]

Miami's unmatched grit and tenacity through the postseason has led them home the national title. Now within reach, they are confident they are battle tested. Undefeated Indiana, led by Chris Signetti and Heisman winner Fernando Mendoza, have the chance to take home their first title and claim college football immortality.

[Abby]

The most remarkable turnaround in the history of college football.

[Rose]

The College Football Playoff national championship. Presented by AT&T Monday at 7:30pm Eastern on ESPN and the ESPN app. I've never felt like I was drowning.

[Abby]

And you were like, we're gonna file for bankruptcy.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

And I was like, I was not a part of sorority, but I did go to a frat party dressed as Thomas Jefferson.

[Rose]

I said, I'm gonna break up with my boyfriend for that guy. He cut to the chase, first broke up with me. I was even mad. I was like, sweet. I'm gonna go after Caleb Howard.

[Abby]

I was like the least boy crazy girl.

[Rose]

But I feel like when you tell me stories from high school, you always had like a guy.

[Abby]

I'm just like struggling a lot with fear all the time.

[Rose]

I thought this was gonna be light hearted.

[Abby]

Gosh, 60,000 depression. Can't wait to see what 2026 is.

[Addie]

The snot, the snore.

[Abby]

Always here to share the hope and.

[Rose]

The heart with heart and humor. Welcome back to Always Here. I'm your host, Abby Howard.

[Abby]

And Abby Howard.

[Rose]

And we are here to share the hope in the heart with heart and humor.

[Abby]

Yes. Yes. I feel like we're already starting to get into a flow here.

[Rose]

I do, too. That's way more natural than the first time.

[Abby]

It's getting better every week.

[Rose]

What's it going to be three years from now, Rose?

[Abby]

We're going to fall asleep on camera.

[Rose]

Yeah, the words just fell out of my mouth.

[Abby]

So boring. Okay, what is your hope? Let's start with hope.

[Rose]

My hope. I actually. This is really exciting. So we moved into our house almost a year and a half ago, and we've been slowly doing some house renovations. And there's one in particular I really wanted to do. And Caleb does all of them. It's kind of like a little picky choosy of when he wants to do them and not. We are building out a fireplace.

[Abby]

Yay. I remember you said at Christmas time you were like, can you just get this up here by Christmas?

[Rose]

It was like the day before.

[Abby]

We need a mantle for Christmas.

[Rose]

I'm like, hello, we need some stockings. He wasn't too keen on that. Top timelines. Yeah, he's been watching videos. I finally convinced him and it's happening. Yeah. We've found it was kind of hard to decide what shape we wanted to do. I feel like the long skinny elect we had to do electrics. We don't have gas to our house and we don't have a chimney. The long skinnier ones felt more modern. So we're going with a square. Cuz our house is not that modern. And yeah, we found one for like 50 bucks off Facebook Marketplace. We will see if that is the one that we stick with.

[Abby]

Well, it doesn't even need to produce heat really here in Arizona. It just needs to turn on.

[Rose]

Yeah, I just need to turn on. And it has like a nice looking log. I was like, they're really nice ones at Home Depot that if this doesn't work, we'll go pick one out. But it's kind of a steal. But it does whistle. Like it's just plugged in and it whistles all the time. So if Caleb can't fix that. Oh, we will be going to the department store.

[Abby]

Whistles.

[Rose]

Yeah. Almost sounds like a cricket. Almost like the electric is going into it or something.

[Abby]

Even when it's turned off.

[Rose]

Off and plugged in, it's. That's when it Crickets.

[Abby]

Okay. So I'm excited to see how this turns out.

[Rose]

It's. It's a hope. You know, we're hopeful it's a hope. But I think it's gonna look really good. I'm excited.

[Abby]

That's exciting.

[Rose]

Yeah, it's fun getting to do like house projects.

[Abby]

That's awesome.

[Rose]

Well, it's fun getting to tell Caleb to do the house project.

[Abby]

Right. And you get to experience them when they're done.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Rose]

And exactly.

[Abby]

That's awesome.

[Rose]

That's my home. It's been fun.

[Abby]

I love that he's handy like that.

[Rose]

Oh, I have the best husband ever. Caleb, I love you. Keep doing it.

[Abby]

Keep doing it really quick. I wanted to hop in here to just say we produce this podcast for free to you guys. So I think it would just be a very kind Gesture. If you took the time right now, five seconds to just hit, follow, subscribe heart. Like, it basically just show whatever platform you're on that you enjoy our show and that you intend to come back. We would really, really appreciate that. And ye. Yeah. Here's your five seconds. One, two, three, four, five.

[Rose]

Okay, that's all.

[Abby]

Thank you so, so much. We really, really appreciate it. And thank you in advance. Let's get back to the show. Well, my hope is because. Okay, so Matt's Christmas gift to both of his brothers and his dad was to go to Epic Universe.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby]

That's so fun. Which was funny because when Matt told Caleb, you told me later, you're like, I know Caleb is giving him not a reaction right now, but I know he's just only gonna watch YouTube videos about epic Universe for the next few weeks.

[Rose]

Oh, for sure.

[Abby]

And, like, talk about it the whole time.

[Rose]

He gets.

[Abby]

You know him so well. And no, I think he was excited. And so they're all going. And I was like, well, now I feel like I kind of want to do something fun while you're gone. And so I think I'm gonna take the kids to Disneyland.

[Rose]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abby]

I don't know why. I was literally driving. I was like, that's making me so excited right now. Just, like, planning it. And it's. We're just gonna go for two days. We got passes. And so I'm like, gotta use them. Gotta make them worth it. And so we're gonna go. I think my parents are gonna come with me too. And I'm really excited.

[Rose]

They can't go to Universal and you not go. The competitor like, you Disney know you're still loyal.

[Abby]

I told Griffin and yeah. Because Griffin was like, I want to go with daddy to Epic Universe. And I was like, I understand. I was like, but it's for really big kids and grownups because the rides are crazy. And he's like. And kind of scary. I was like, yeah. He's like, let's go to the kids ride.

[Rose]

Aw, that's sweet.

[Abby]

Yeah. But he does go on the big rides. So anyway, I feel like I'm always talking about Disney, but I really am looking forward to it. And my heart is kind of serious, so I'm switching gears. Okay. I knew that I was gonna laugh when I said my hard this week because it is just really intense. But so just know that it is hard. I just dissociated.

[Rose]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abby]

I'm just struggling with fear recently. So, like, that's. I'm just like struggling a lot with fear all the time. And like, I feel like I can't really quite get a break from it. Like, I feel like I have it during the day and then I have it at nighttime, like when I'm sleeping. And so just trying to get through this season and like try to like address it. Like, I feel like when I was like not acknowledging the fear is when it was like popping up a lot at night. And so then I'm like, I gotta just like acknowledge it and then move on and find a way to do that. But like, that's way easier said than done. So that's my heart.

[Rose]

I feel like you've been so. I've been very impressed with the way that you've processed your emotions, your feelings, the residual feelings of everything after the loss. Like, I feel like you've done such a really good job and you're so wise when you share things. Like, I don't know, I'm just like, wow, you have it. You've. I feel like you've done a really good job of processing and sorting it in your mind. And then when you share it, I'm like, wow, that I wouldn't have expected that. But that makes sense, you know, like the way that you talk about, I'm.

[Abby]

Like, dang, that's really nice.

[Rose]

Yeah, you're very clear headed on these. Yeah. The reality of this.

[Abby]

That's nice. Yeah, that's really nice. Thank you.

[Rose]

Sorry you've been struggling.

[Abby]

Kind of unexpected, you know, but it's not one of those things that's like super quick. And I knew that. And then here we are, like, you're like, oh, it's a few months later, still here, like just in different ways experiencing it. I did think of another hope though too. One more thing that this has also been healing for some of this fear is we're celebrating one of our close friends, Val. So she's probably listening to this. So Shadow Val, her baby shower this weekend. And that has been so, so genuinely fun to plan. And I'm like so excited for it.

[Rose]

I was, you're going all out.

[Abby]

I am really excited about it. I was like telling Matt too. I was like, I know this is like a little excessive, but why is it so fun and so healing to do this too? Because we, we said we were pregnant at the same time and like we had due dates a week apart and I don't know, something about this whole like planning. It has been, it's just been great. So like, that is like a hope for me totally It's Saturday.

[Rose]

That's sweet.

[Abby]

I know.

[Rose]

And you told us that you were pregnant when we were. I was there when you guys. We all found out together.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Rose]

Yeah. So that's fun. I didn't even think about that with you at this party.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

I didn't think about it until I was like, why am I really giving this my haul? I was like, oh, this feels like there might not be a coincidence, but. No, it's been great. It's actually been, like, so incredibly fun to plan so well.

[Rose]

I know you said you're making a million lava cakes.

[Abby]

30 lava.

[Rose]

In the moment.

[Abby]

In the moment. It has to be someone with lava. I, like, told my mom the plan. I was like, okay, so when I give you the signal, we're gonna go get the ramekins and fill them up.

[Rose]

And she's like, okay, you're giving me the signal too.

[Abby]

I'm 5x ing this recipe. Like, 5.

[Addie]

I almost wasn't able to come, and I'm like, I'll be there.

[Rose]

Do you want to bring my KitchenAids? Do you have more KitchenAids to just bring?

[Addie]

I can bring mine.

[Abby]

No, I'm gonna. I'm gonna make it all in advance and then stick it in the fridge. And apparently, if you just cook it for two extra minutes, if from refrigerated, it should be the right. We'll see.

[Rose]

5X ing a recipe in one KitchenAid seems like a lot of.

[Abby]

Oh, I'm gonna do it in different batches because sometimes when you try to do anything past double, it gets funky.

[Rose]

Yeah, the flavor's not right.

[Abby]

Yeah, totally.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abby]

I can't wait. I know. What was your hard. You've been heaven.

[Rose]

I feel so dumb.

[Abby]

Well, I didn't mean. I just dropped a bomb like you. You can have one. That's.

[Rose]

My muscles have been pretty sore.

[Abby]

I forgot that's what it was. I agree, though. Honestly, I have a little.

[Rose]

Walking is a little hard these days.

[Abby]

It's my upper back.

[Rose]

For me, it's the whole vicinity of every limb. It's. It's sore. It's such a good feeling, though. It's so crazy. Like, okay, you work out. I worked out my whole pregnancy. But the difference of modifying moves to now being able to go full full out, it's humbling. I'm like, I know. I moved. Like, I don't think I lost that much strength or that much cardiovascular stamina. It's gone. It is gone. And we were rebuilding from the ground up.

[Addie]

I feel the exact same way. Exact same way.

[Rose]

It's kind of motivating, though. Like, it's really fun feeling soreness again. Because once you get to a certain point, you're going consistently, you don't always feel sore unless it's a very unique exercise. So that feeling has been kind of fun. I'm like, oh, yeah. Like things are working and I'm getting stronger. But yeah, like fresh after the baby and I Fresh. Getting back to the gym, my limbs felt so discombobulated. Like I would try to do a lunge. I'm like, my kneecaps will fall off sideways. Like everything just felt not coordinated or connected at all.

[Abby]

Dang it.

[Rose]

But here's a hope in my heart it's getting better.

[Abby]

I showed up to the gym this morning and both of our moms were outside. Burn. They just looked like they were just spilling some tea.

[Addie]

I worked out with both of your moms this morning.

[Rose]

You were in the group. You're like, I was with the group.

[Addie]

I was with them. We worked out together.

[Abby]

I was like, what are they talking about? And then your mom comes over and she was like, it's a. It's terrible. I was like, I hate leg day. It wasn't fun. But that was. That was cute that they were whole fam is at the gym.

[Addie]

Your mom got to hold Brielle.

[Rose]

She told me she came over and she's like, I got to hold Brielle.

[Addie]

That was sweet. She's like, can I hold her? I'm like, of course.

[Rose]

Oh, she's a good grandma. She loves babies.

[Abby]

That's sweet.

[Rose]

We have some fun switch ups today.

[Abby]

Switch ups.

[Rose]

Yeah. We're not doing well. That's crazy necessarily.

[Abby]

This is what's crazy.

[Rose]

Okay.

[Abby]

The housemaid, first of all.

[Rose]

Oh my God.

[Addie]

I said, this is a. Wow. That's crazy for me.

[Abby]

We invited Abigail. Actually, my mom. My mom invited me. Abby and ab Me.

[Rose]

Okay.

[Abby]

See, I'm even confused.

[Rose]

Come on.

[Abby]

All three of us and her to go see the housemaid together. Abby was out cuz she got too scared.

[Rose]

No, I looked at the trailer and I said, this ain't for me. I said, it looks scary and spicy.

[Addie]

I never saw the trailer. I didn't watch it cuz I read the book.

[Abby]

So I didn't.

[Rose]

I said that it looks scary and spicy and you made a face like. And you go, we have such different tastes.

[Abby]

Look at you.

[Rose]

I was like, okay, we'll see who's right.

[Abby]

She said earlier that I said, Justin, I was like, the album. She liked. That means that I. That you have Bad taste. I was like, did I say that?

[Rose]

I'm sorry. I don't think I'm like, well, that's what she meant.

[Addie]

I did that the other day. And Abby goes, that's not what she said to me. I was repeating something that someone said.

[Abby]

And she goes, that's not what she said.

[Rose]

I was like, well, that's what I heard. Two different things there. Yeah, exactly.

[Abby]

So anyway, we saw the Housemaid, and I had read the book a few years ago, but I remembered it pretty vividly. It's a very memorable story because It's a Frida McFad, and that's the author. She's like the ultimate murder, twisty, quick type of murder book. Honestly, it might be the first one that I read. Yeah.

[Addie]

Like, when I started reading again, I think you recommended it.

[Abby]

Oh, really?

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby]

And the movie was. I think it was very well done. The. Okay, that's what I want to say. The standout actress was Amanda Seafield Seyfried.

[Addie]

Yeah. However you say your last name.

[Abby]

Amanda, who plays the. The wife of the husband.

[Addie]

CFRI S E Y F R I.

[Abby]

E D. The wife who hired the housemaid. She is an amazing actress. Like, the whole time I was just like, she blows me away. And then come to find out, obviously, she's Cozette and Les Mis. Now think about the difference in characters there between the crazy woman in the housemaid to Cosette with an incredible vocal range, too. Then she's in Legally Blonde being hilarious.

[Rose]

She's a Mamma Mia.

[Abby]

She's a mommy blonde.

[Rose]

She.

[Abby]

Mean girls. Mean girls.

[Addie]

Oh, that's what I was thinking.

[Abby]

I was thinking mean Girls and picturing Mean Girl. Because she's Karen, right?

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Like the. She is so talented.

[Rose]

She's so good.

[Abby]

She was the standout in my mind, like, so far. She was amazing. The movie was a lot more. What would you say? Graphic. Rated R. Rated R and graphic than I would have expected. Is it rated rich? It said the F word, so it's.

[Addie]

Probably rated R. Abby came out and goes, there were so many cuss words. I was like, didn't even hear it. That's a weird. I have a. I'm not hearing this. It's rated R. Well, probably because Sydney Sweeney's boobs are just out.

[Abby]

Kind of. Kind of out.

[Addie]

Full boob.

[Abby]

Not full boob.

[Addie]

Just because it was from the side doesn't mean it's not a full boob.

[Abby]

I didn't see her full boobs, but there was a lot.

[Rose]

I'm going to trust. Addie's There was a long.

[Addie]

I felt like I closed my eyes, so maybe I didn't see it once it started.

[Abby]

I said, no, it was long. And we were sitting next to my mom, her mother in law.

[Addie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Rose]

I put my hood up.

[Addie]

I said, I can't watch this next to you.

[Rose]

And I was like, what is the line with these movies? Like, when is it just a movie and when is it porn? Like, that's.

[Abby]

Well, you didn't see anything of him. I actually did see his booty.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Addie]

You didn't see them, man.

[Abby]

Booty is funny.

[Rose]

Yeah. It's not doing nothing. It's just like, oh. But I was like.

[Abby]

It'S like, that's funny.

[Addie]

I always wonder. I'm like, are those their real cheeks?

[Abby]

For sure.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abby]

Oh, my gosh.

[Addie]

It'd be weird to not. Or was it a stunt double? Some stunt double's cheeks, actually.

[Abby]

Maybe. Maybe he's like, I don't want to show up to Christmas and everyone in my family know my cheeks.

[Addie]

Okay. That's another thing. I don't want to get too graphic. Is that Sydney Sweeney's boobs or is that someone else's boobs?

[Abby]

No, that's got to be hers.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Rose]

I feel like I've always wondered, like, impressive.

[Abby]

They're impressive. I like horse.

[Rose]

She's beautiful and amazing. She. I've always. When I was a kid, I used to think that in the movies that they were sex scenes. I'm like, oh, they have, like, full leotards on. It's not real nudity.

[Abby]

I did think about that in this because, I mean, they're both clearly not wearing clothes and they're, like, pressed against each other. I'm like, that is crazy.

[Rose]

A lot to ask of somebody.

[Addie]

That is a lot. I think they have, like, barrier things for the private parts in scenes like that, which is interesting. I don't know where I heard that could be lying.

[Abby]

I. I just also can't stop thinking about, like, at the end of that when they're like, okay, cut.

[Addie]

And you're like, there's an intimacy coordinator.

[Abby]

Yeah. For, like, boundaries and stuff. But, yeah, okay. Honestly, I think the movie was really good. I really liked.

[Addie]

I really, like.

[Abby]

I will not be watching it with Matt.

[Addie]

I want to watch it again. I'll watch it with Blake.

[Rose]

Just because the story was so good.

[Addie]

I really, like. I thought it was really well produced. Like, the whole story was good. And it felt really similar to the book, too.

[Rose]

They.

[Abby]

They nailed it.

[Addie]

Kept my attention the whole time. I was never like, oh, what time is it? Do I need to go home yet? Like, I was.

[Abby]

It was very well done. It was very well done, Amanda. I want to see more.

[Addie]

I feel like. I wonder what it would feel like from someone who doesn't know the story, watching it. Because the whole time I'm like, oh, I know this is going to happen. So I know. This is the feeling I feel about this person.

[Abby]

The only scene I was confused about. I don't know how. In the weeds. We want to go with this, but the scene, probably not too.

[Rose]

In the weeds.

[Abby]

Okay, she's done. She comes in their room, she hears him screaming at night, and then she has a knife. And she's like, no. How do you. They never explained that part away in the movie. Unless I missed it.

[Addie]

So.

[Abby]

That movie was crazy.

[Rose]

Crazy.

[Abby]

I recommend it. But also, just know what you're getting into before you. I mean, maybe if you're. It's not your thing. Like, it's not Abby's thing. I like that type of story.

[Rose]

Yeah. Good story.

[Abby]

Good story, good acting. Well done.

[Rose]

Yeah. But if there are certain things you just want to see, then you should.

[Abby]

Know ahead of time.

[Rose]

You should know ahead of time. And you can get on streaming and skip. That's what I'll do. I'll watch it.

[Abby]

It's really easy. It's really easy to skip that.

[Addie]

You know exactly where it's going to be and then it's over.

[Rose]

Yeah, that's what we like to do in our house. We still watch things. We just skip it. I think that's kind of a fun segue. I thought you're a very passionate book girly. And you changed my year of 2025 by inviting me to be in a book club. And I read 12. No, I'm sorry. I read about 11 books until the club disbanded.

[Addie]

That's awesome.

[Abby]

Disbanded.

[Rose]

I want to turn it into a cookbook.

[Addie]

The group chat is still labeled book club.

[Abby]

I want to turn it into a cookbook club.

[Rose]

That's fun. We just lost focus. Yeah, but I. I enjoyed the books.

[Abby]

Well, people stopped reading the books. And so then I was like, well, I don't think we want to do this anymore.

[Rose]

I kept reading them.

[Addie]

Good.

[Abby]

You did, honestly, a great job.

[Rose]

But now there's no club I'm not reading. So.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Rose]

Tell us what your recent favorite reads are.

[Abby]

Abby's Cozy Book Corner. I'm just going to do my four most recent book books I read.

[Rose]

Okay, yeah, give us a review.

[Abby]

One is on Kindle. I brought them here for everybody. I Was really prepared, honestly. They mentioned us talking about this on the podcast. I was like, put me in, coach. Cause I feel like on plan, they always cut me.

[Addie]

They always cut out books. Can you put it back? I enjoyed it.

[Rose]

I like the book.

[Abby]

Every time I'm like, I talked about on the podcast, they're like, I wasn't on there. I was like, they cut it again. Anyway, so the book I read last was another Frida McFadden. I read the Locked Door. I feel like I like to start the year off with thriller, mystery, just to get the ball rolling, because I read it really fast because I want to know what's gonna happen.

[Rose]

You just want the adrenaline boost at the beginning of the year.

[Abby]

I'm sick of the head, okay. Like, I just like these types of stories. So I read the Locked Door. I read it because I thought they were gonna make a movie of it. There's no plans to make a movie of this one, but, you know, I have it read. And that one I gave five stars.

[Addie]

Whoa.

[Abby]

Yeah. And here's the thing. It's five stars because it's my exact taste in book, and I don't think it's for everybody, but it is just, like, a good suspenseful thriller. I won't give a whole synopsis of it, but it's a thriller mystery. There is. It's the daughter of a serial killer. There's repeat crimes. He had, like, a trademark that he did. Like, some serial killers have, like, a trademark. He had a trademark. And now these crimes are showing up around her. And so she's, like, the main suspect.

[Rose]

Wow.

[Abby]

Because it has the same trademark as her dad's crimes. But she has moved to a different city, has a new name, and she's like, a doctor now. She's a surgeon. And she's, like, trying to just, like, go and live a normal life.

[Rose]

But that's interesting.

[Addie]

I got about 50% of the way through it, and then I started another book, but I need to go back and finish it.

[Rose]

I feel like serial killer stories are so interesting because it is almost psychological where you. It's what is going on in their mind that makes them want to do these horrific things. But I think, as women, too, is like, we want to understand their emotions.

[Abby]

There are not a lot of female serial killers either. So I feel like it's like the feminine desire to, like, put. Protect yourself.

[Rose]

Yeah, Protect yourself. And I would say that's it.

[Abby]

It's just fascinating to add to that. It's fascinating.

[Rose]

It is fascinating.

[Abby]

So that one, if you like Love a good, quick thriller mystery, that one. I mean, if you know Frieda McFadden, you know that it's exactly like all of her other ones. Like, there's always a cliffhanger, so you just tear through it.

[Rose]

Fun.

[Abby]

The next one is Turtles all the Way down by John Green. John Green is the one who did, like, the Fault in Our Stars.

[Rose]

I read that.

[Abby]

Looking for Alaska.

[Rose]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Abby]

So this is like, a high school book.

[Rose]

Yeah, I love those.

[Abby]

I haven't read, like, a young adult book in a long time. And so at first I was like, what am I doing? Like, this feels like. This feels like I'm a little bit old for reading it. But honestly, what drew. Drew me to it is that the main character has ocd, and so you. It's, like, written really cool because it's like her. Like. I don't know if I don't know the proper way of saying it, but, like, her rational thoughts and then her, like, OCD thoughts are in italics, and it's like her internal battle. But I also was really interested because apparently I don't. I'm not gonna give too much context because I'm not sure about all the details, but John Green himself maybe has some, like, OCD tendencies. And so he said it was, like, really difficult for him to write, actually, because it was like he was trying to, like, give an authentic experience, like, to what it's like having this condition. And so I was just really curious, like, about with that, like, element of ocd. But the premise of this book is that a billionaire has gone missing, and there's a reward if anyone can give information to find him. And her and her friend are like, we're poor because her friend works at Chuck E. Cheese, and they're like, we need money. And so, like, there's just this, like, this mystery element that's not. It's not a mystery, but, like. And then her OCD element. It's really interesting, and it was good to read. I liked it.

[Addie]

Cute.

[Abby]

And apparently there's a show on Max about it.

[Rose]

I feel like a lot of the young adult books have shows. Would you agree?

[Addie]

Now I want to read that book. There's a show. I'm, like, excited. I'm like, I want to read it.

[Abby]

It's a quick read. Yeah, there's a show. So someone watch the show and let me know. This one is huge right now.

[Rose]

Thick book.

[Abby]

Well, yeah, it's quick read, though. It really well. Okay. Not, like, quick, but, like, it moves quick. Okay. Everyone is gonna know this one. I Feel like. Because this one got huge because it's called the God of the Woods. Apparently on Taylor Swift's recent something or other that was released, she's listening to an audiobook, and people, like, did. Because people are really obsessed with Taylor Swift. They were like, we have to find out what she's listening to. And it was this book. And so now this book is, like, a million dollars a seller everywhere. Like, it has become. It has blown up. And I didn't know why it had blown up so much, but apparently that might be the reason why, is because everyone found out that Taylor Swift was reading it.

[Addie]

That would make sense.

[Abby]

Yeah. So this one is about. There's a girls summer camp, and it's taking. It's jumping between timelines. It's like middle school age, girls junior high, and a camper goes missing. Everyone's trying to figure out this mystery. There's a lot of history to this camp because the family that owns it has, like, just a suspicious past. There's also another child that had gone missing back in the. In the past. And there's just a lot. This book, I will tell you, there is a million characters.

[Rose]

Oh, boy.

[Abby]

So you got to keep track of them all.

[Rose]

It's not one that you could step away from and then come back to. You'd forget, probably.

[Abby]

Yeah. Maybe just go through it just one time. And also maybe don't do it on audio because there are so many characters that it would be kind of confusing. It is thick. But I will tell you, it reads quickly. Like there's. It's not. Like you're not gonna get stuck on it. I don't think. I thought it was really entertaining. People on Goodreads said they thought it was really slow, but I thought it was really good.

[Rose]

Okay, what do you rate? What do you rate it?

[Abby]

I gave this one, like, I think three or four stars.

[Rose]

Four stars.

[Abby]

I gave Turtles all the Way down four stars, too.

[Rose]

Okay. This one, I didn't like romantic comedy.

[Addie]

Who is it?

[Abby]

Curtis Sittenfield. Sittenfeld. Okay. So I read it because it's one of Reese's Book Clubs.

[Rose]

Okay.

[Abby]

And I honestly think it's a me thing, but I don't like books that have themes that are related to the recent pandemic.

[Rose]

Yeah. I think we're so annoyed of the.

[Abby]

I don't want to read about it. We lived it.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Rose]

It's too early to reminisce.

[Abby]

It's kind of a big part of this book. Okay. So it's called romantic comedy. I love the idea of it. I honestly love the first half of it, I will tell you that. Because it's this lady who's like a writer on snl, but they don't call it snl, but she's a comedy sketch writer in New York City. It's so fun because, like, one of the first parts at the beginning, they literally just give you the rundown of, like, what their schedule is like working at snl, where it's like, okay, they start their sketches on Monday, they stay up all night on Wednesday, they have the guest. Anyway, so the romance is between this comedy sketchwriter and the guest musical, like the host of that week's episode.

[Rose]

Yeah, that's fun.

[Abby]

Anyway, but they talk about COVID and I don't really enjoy reading about that personally. And they also talk about politics a lot. I also want my books to be a relief from politics.

[Rose]

Sure. So it's an escape. Not. Not too real.

[Abby]

Like Reese.

[Rose]

Just Covid in politics.

[Abby]

No, Covid in politics. This isn't an escape. I'm living this life. I was like, oh, my gosh. So, yeah, I think Reese led me astray on that one. Oh, but you know what? Everyone has different tastes. That's my book corner. Thanks for giving me that time. Yes. I'll wrap it up quick. I was telling Abby as a kid, I would. I loved reading as a kid. I've always loved reading. And I would just remember sitting in the car, my mom would be like, okay, see if you can do it quicker. Like me telling a synopsis of books. She's like, this is going on.

[Addie]

I have a brief question about books and your taste in books. Do you like short chapters and lots of chapters or like a normal sized chapter like Frida does? Short chapters, like really short, or does it affect you at all?

[Abby]

Actually, I don't really know if it affects me, really.

[Addie]

I do. When I see on a Kindle and it says 15 minutes versus, like a six minute chapter, I'm like, oh, see, I can read another chapter.

[Abby]

I don't stop on chapters. I just stop wherever I'm at.

[Rose]

Yeah. What do we. What do you guys feel about audiobooks?

[Addie]

Never have.

[Rose]

Yeah, I feel like I would just tune it out.

[Abby]

No, I feel like it has to be the right book for an audiobook, but yeah, I would maybe tune it out.

[Addie]

I could do audiobook if I was, like, driving. But I listen to a podcast, probably.

[Rose]

Yeah, I guess better than books.

[Addie]

Abby's mom does audiobooks.

[Abby]

Yeah. It's for the right person.

[Rose]

Yeah, totally.

[Abby]

Yeah. I could also see myself going on walks and listening to audiobooks, but I can't. Like, I don't think I could do a task and listen to it and, like, focus.

[Rose]

Well, that was a great speed. I didn't fall. I didn't feel sleepy during that.

[Abby]

I thought, are you gonna read any of them?

[Rose]

If you tell me I must, then I must.

[Abby]

Which one would you pick?

[Rose]

I'm still reading that one about the disco girl that you gave me. Oh, the one about Daisy Jones and the six.

[Abby]

That is, like, one of the best of all time.

[Rose]

I know, and I really like it. But I started it right before I had Vivian, and then I didn't pick it up for three months. I feel like I need to start it over.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Rose]

Maybe because I was into it the first 15 pages, and then I was.

[Abby]

Trying to give it to Addy, and then I was like, she's, honestly, you're expired, so you can take it.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Addie]

She said. I said I could have it now.

[Rose]

My library card's like.

[Abby]

I said, she's had it for too long.

[Addie]

She's time to return it to Abby's library so that I can have it. I'll read Turtles Down. Is that what it's.

[Abby]

Turtles all the way down.

[Addie]

Turtles all the way down. I'm in.

[Rose]

Fun.

[Abby]

I told Matt. I was like. Something about me is, like, I could literally sit and read a book cover to cover, and I'm so happy. Like, I'm not gonna be. Like, I need to. I'm getting bored. Like, my attention span is really long for reading, but with kids, it's interrupted. So I'm not able to get through as many books.

[Rose]

Sure.

[Abby]

I mean, I got through those probably in, like, a month.

[Rose]

Well, that's awesome. That's a lot of books in one month. I feel like this is a good segue because you had your. You've always been a book kid, and you had your era. When telling your mom long, long story she didn't care about. I thought it'd be funny. The Taylor Swift docu series just came out where she goes about, like, behind the Scenes of the Eras tour. So I thought we should do our eras and give the audience a little sneak peek behind the scenes of the Abby's lives throughout their life.

[Abby]

Yeah, that's really fun. And that also might be the exact documentary that they talked about that book. Or she was listening to it.

[Rose]

Oh, really?

[Abby]

Maybe I didn't finish it.

[Rose]

I only saw the first two episodes of it. I thought it was really good.

[Abby]

I think you should start with your eras.

[Rose]

Okay. I said, I'VE listed out, like, the big times of my life. And I'm like, well, I probably don't need to start at, like, age 8, so let's move it up a little bit. I thought I would start with my volleyball era, and we thought it'd be kind of cheeky if we put these in the chat GPT and had to create titles for eras that sound like Taylor Swift titles. So this era is called Bleachers at Sunset.

[Abby]

I feel like I need a snap.

[Rose]

Oh, yes.

[Abby]

Bleachers at Sunset.

[Rose]

What if we give a little song Bleachers at Sunset.

[Abby]

Not everything is a cheap.

[Rose]

We give each. Each era course.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Rose]

Volleyball era. When I was in high school, I was a very much into my sport. That was my identity, was being a volleyball girl. And I loved it. I loved being athletic. I. I've talked before. Like, you always thought it was super cool. Like, I had a really small group of friends, and we were all very dedicated to our sport. Yeah. So that was my life for a long time. And I remember I would practice three days a week, go outside, have alone time, and just hit the volleyball against my garage and, like, on my off days and just practice. I'd have private lessons, tournaments on weekends. Like, that was very much what I lived. And I was pretty good. I. Not to toot my own word.

[Abby]

No, I feel like you were. You played in college.

[Rose]

Yeah, yeah. That was my whole goal, was like, I want to get to the collegiate level. And I did. I ended up going to a Division 2 school, a small school in the Midwest. And it just was not what I expected it to be. I feel like my whole life I had built up what college was going to be. And I thought, oh, my team will be like my sorority, and these girls are gonna be my best friends. And we worked so hard for this common goal. And then I got to the college level, and the experience was not at all what I expected it to be. I actually had a pretty bad. That was probably one of the most toxic environments I've ever been a part of. And I don't use the word toxic often, but it really was. I remember, I mean, you're a freshman in college. I was four and a half hours away from home. I didn't know anybody that went to the school, which I was kind of excited about. And I was dating Caleb, so he was at home. We were doing long distance. And I remember crying almost every day. Like, I would go in the showers and just cry. And the whole time I was at that school, I was actively transferring to Leave that school at semester.

[Abby]

Yeah, the whole semester. The whole semester was like, I gotta get out of here. What about it was like, toxic.

[Rose]

It really was the relationship amongst the team. It was a different level of competitiveness. Like, I feel like your team can go one of two ways. It can either be the tightest group of girlfriends that you ever have, and it's this really exciting, like, you're all achieving a goal, motivation, feeling, and then. Or it's the opposite, where everyone is in competition with each other. And college is a different level where the freshmen come in and your. Your spot is never safe. And that's for any sport. And then there's just like a level of caddiness. I think anytime you're in girl sports, to be honest, which is just sometimes how it is. So that was very overwhelming and very. I was like, why am I doing this? You know? And I felt like I had hit my goal, I got to the college level, and after that I was. I was okay with not pursuing it any farther. So that was when I transferred and ended my volleyball girl era. But that was hard. I felt like the identity that I had wrapped up in my sport. Then I was like, now what? So I'll cap my ERA there.

[Abby]

Well, I feel like that, first of all, when you talk about your volleyball, Ira, I don't know why I always think about what you would pack to your games. Because you're like, I would always pack like a jar Nutella. What was it?

[Rose]

We always giggle because I never ate healthy foods. I would start every tournament morning. My mom would take me to the gas station. I'd get a Long John donut.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Rose]

That's what I would eat for breakfast. I'd get through a couple games, and then I'd pull out the double jar of Nutella and a. In a bag of spoons. And I would just. I had multiple plastic spins. I would just eat the Nutella. And then I was obsessed and still am obsessed with fruit snacks. And I would have the big bags of the Kellogg fruit snacks. And I would have like five or six in there for a day. And then at somewhere I would sneak in a turkey sandwich. No fruit, no vegetables, just sugar.

[Abby]

Just turkey on the sandwich and a.

[Rose]

Slice of cheese and some bread.

[Abby]

See, I love. You're fueling up.

[Rose]

I was. I was fueled with my sugars.

[Abby]

Well, I actually started my eras at about the same time. So do you want to kind of just like ping pong back and forth? I started in high school. My eras. Oh, gotta get the name. Gosh, Dang it. I despise the name. I despise that we had to use ChatGPT for this. I was, like, arguing with it. I was like, that's a little too poetic. Can we get some, like, poppy new roots, Bright Skies? Wait a minute. That's the wrong one.

[Rose]

I'm sorry. That doesn't make any sense about high school.

[Addie]

Yeah. I was also wondering.

[Abby]

Passion paths and friendships.

[Rose]

Passion paths and friendships.

[Abby]

It's not good.

[Rose]

It could have been better, but I was trying.

[Abby]

I was really trying. I wasn't feeding it the right stuff. Okay. But anyway, high school. Okay. So I actually loved high school.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

I probably peaked in high school. I had so much fun. I feel like that was the time that I really just. Like, I always say it's like you're throwing spaghetti at the wall and you just see what sticks. Like, I tried everything. I did every activity I was involved in, every group and club that I was interested in at all. I remember going from after school, going to school. I had to pack eight bags because I knew I wasn't gonna be home until 10pm every night. Had so many things going on, and I loved that. I loved going from thing to thing to thing. I feel like I barely slept, and if I slept that much now, I would be a horrible version of myself. But I was just loving. I was so excited, and I feel like I truly was just energized by everyone I was around, so it kept me going. But anyway, I loved that season. And also, I had really good friends. Like, I had some, like, really solid friends, so that made it awesome. Like, I feel like sometimes girls, Groups of girls get a bad rap, but I've always had such good experiences. I like. I'm like, no. I feel like girls can be awesome together, and, like, they're such a special sisterhood. And I'm still friends with, like, a lot of my friends from high school, and it's really special. So I think about that time as just, like, a whirlwind. And that's why I also am like, I don't. I love that I was able to just, like, how unique is it when you're in high school that you get to just, like, do everything and the stakes are low? It's safe to try everything. And I didn't have to worry about a lot of things that, like, you have to worry about when you're an adult, like, paying for things. Like, I got to. It's not like I got to do, like, all these expensive activities, but I didn't have to worry about holding a job. So I worked in the summers. But then the fact that I had the freedom during the school year to just, like, focus on anything that I wanted to, like, pursue as a passion was really cool. I look back at that time so fondly, and I also was raised in a small town, so everything also just felt so safe to just, like, try anything. And I think other people that live in smaller towns maybe experience that differently. But I felt like I had just, like, such a good experience and so many people around in my corner that were so fun and uplifting. And also I was really close with my family, so this was like, such a good time. And also I was dating Matt. And so, like, the last between my junior and senior year is when we started dating. That also just like, added so much fun and excitement to my high school years. I never thought I was gonna date in high school because, Abbie, if you knew me, I was like, the least boy crazy girl.

[Rose]

But I feel like when you tell me stories from high school, you always had, like, a guy.

[Addie]

I will say that is something. You're like, you've never really had a boyfriend before Matt. You've only kissed Matt.

[Rose]

But you boys, you had something to you.

[Abby]

I had, like. Yeah, I don't really know how to explain that, but I never, like, took it seriously or, like, was, like, I wasn't, like, excited about it, if that makes sense.

[Rose]

Totally.

[Abby]

Like, I had dates to dances, and, like, I. I went on dates, but it wasn't like, it wasn't a focus of mine, really. Like, I was just, like, having fun with my friends. And so then it was so weird when I was, like, dating Matt because I was, like, then so boy crazy. Like, so off the deep end in love. But it was really fun. Like, and also we were really serious. Really? Like, even in high school?

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

So I say, like, it sounds crazy, people in high school. Like, I feel like people. Like, I was like, no, but we will get married. Like, I, like, really believed that. And they're like, oh, yeah, you're in high school. Like, you're 17. But I, like, I knew it even then.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Rose]

Because he was the only guy you ever gave attention to. Like, real deep attention. Yeah.

[Abby]

Yeah, totally. It just felt so different. And, like, I actually was, like, I cared about it and I was excited about it. So that was my. What was it? Passion, paths and friendships.

[Rose]

Gosh, isn't it crazy? Did you feel like when you started or, like, saw Matt or started dating him that you knew immediately? I had a moment with Caleb. I walked into math class. And I had another boyfriend at the time. And I laid eyes on Caleb for the first time. And I thought, I'm going to date that man. And I'm going to date that man for a long time. I literally thought that in my head. I said, I'm going to break up with my boyfriend for that guy. I'm going to get cut to the chase. First broke up with me. I was even mad. I was like, sweet. I'm going to go after Caleb Howard.

[Abby]

You're like, he broke up with me first, but. But was even mad. That's funny. Good times.

[Rose]

What a great era.

[Abby]

That was a great era. That was great. I was so sad when it ended.

[Rose]

Yeah, I loved. I mean, I had. I still friends with my high. If you have good friends in high school, I feel like it makes. It makes your experience so great. And I still have. I'm still close to my girls. So I look back on that fondly too. My next era is I put strat to saved and then chat GPT changed it. Red Cubs to redemption.

[Abby]

I love that.

[Rose]

That's our country. Country era.

[Abby]

Someone's gotta write that.

[Rose]

I think maybe our children.

[Abby]

I don't know, maybe your memoir.

[Rose]

So I transferred to Mizzou from this small school play volleyball app. And immediately I was like, I don't have an identity in my sport anymore. I want to be the party girl that I was never allowed to be. Not allowed, but I just wasn't included to be in high school. And I think I always looked at girls that, like, got invited to things in the party and was like, oh, my gosh, that's so cool. I want to be like that. So when I went to college, I was like, I'm going to join a sorority. And that's going to be. My goal is to just go to everything, be invited to everything, and I'm going to be wild. And I was still dating Caleb at this time, so it's so funny because he's never been like a wild guy. But I found a lot of identity and, like, being the life of the party or like, trying to be in some ways. And it got to a point where, you know, you're going out at this point. It was such culture. But I would go out, like, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. So when you say, oh, I thought you were edgy, it's because.

[Addie]

This is.

[Abby]

What I was talking about. This is when I, like, first met me. Really kind of met you.

[Rose]

Totally.

[Abby]

Yeah. It was a party girl.

[Rose]

I was a party girl. Yeah. And just such a I look back on that time and I'm like, I don't think I had a drinking problem, but it's definitely the start of probably what was. But college was such a unique time. I feel like I grew a ton and I was experiencing this whole, like, entertainment scene. But then at the same time, in my sorority, I had joined a Bible study, and that was the first time I had ever read the Bible. And I don't know what, like, drew me to wanting to join this Bible study. I think I just kind of was like, I've. I have a lot of opinions about it, but I've never read it. And so I had this, like, totally two different worlds of, like, pursuing faith and also pursuing the party. And after a couple years of, like, reading the Bible, I was like, okay, this is actually. I do believe that this is true. And I gave up the party girl life. And so that's where, like, the redeemed, saved part of the. The story comes from. But that was like a full 180 of, like, being a little wild to then wanting to live my life in a way that glorifies God.

[Abby]

Experiencing you go through that change in the periphery because we were not close at this time. It was like night and day different. Like, you were night and day different.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

And I just remember I was like, I'm so confused because you and Caleb were both very different, like, after all of this. And so, like, I. It's. I don't know, it was just really cool, just, like, watching this, like, big change. But, like, since we had gone gaps without seeing, it felt like it happened overnight.

[Rose]

But, yeah, I mean, it was a long process. I mean, three years, I'm sure.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Rose]

But then, yeah, once I, like, decided that I do believe, I was like, okay, I do believe that Jesus is real. So I. Okay, here we go. And then I felt like my heart literally changed overnight in a moment, like, the shame was lifted. I didn't feel. I didn't even realize I felt shame. But there are a lot of things that I did in those couple years of college that I did that were shameful. Like getting in fights and being violent. Like, I have deep regrets about that time of my life.

[Addie]

We've talked about that. Because I said on my bucket list is to punch someone in the face.

[Rose]

And I said, don't do it.

[Addie]

And Abigail said, you don't have to do it.

[Rose]

It's not as empowering as you think it would feel.

[Addie]

And what about punching a guy in the face? Would that feel more empowering?

[Rose]

I don't Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if violence is ever the answer.

[Addie]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Rose]

I look back and I'm like, I feel so grateful for the life change and the trajectory that my life turned in college. It was a very pivotal time of my life, and I got to do it alongside Caleb because we were kind of on the same timeline with our faith journey, and it set us up for a really great next era.

[Abby]

That was like, a big, transformative era for you, I feel like.

[Rose]

Yeah, I like that. So we became friends.

[Abby]

Honestly, you're like, we got.

[Rose]

I don't get along with this. We don't have anything at Gobbit.

[Abby]

I just was like, I don't think she's gonna be any interested in anything that I'm interested in. Oh, that's so funny. She's doing some really cool big. And then I'm like, we're, like, pranking our guy friends.

[Rose]

But see, that's so fun when you're going in the party scene. I felt like my nights were the same. They were the same, but different. You know, you're going to the same bars, you're just getting drunk. Like, it's just the same thing over and over again. I didn't have memories of being super goofy and, like, these pranks and just having this really fun, easy girl time. Like, it was always like, oh, let's talk about what we did last night. That was so crazy. You know what I mean? It wasn't ever just this simple. Yeah, fun.

[Abby]

Here's what my version of that era looks like, and it's actually called First Steps in Heartbeats. I don't even know if that was actually what I landed on or if that got autocorrected to Heartbeats, because I know.

[Rose]

First steps to Heartbeats.

[Abby]

First steps in Heartbeats.

[Rose]

I don't like that.

[Abby]

I don't know what that even means exactly. But this was my era in which I was transitioning to college, and I did it. I went to school that was four and a half hours from my hometown. But I also took with me my boyfriend that we were very serious. Matt, my husband and my random boyfriend and my best friend, few close friends from my hometown. So I feel like I kind of cheated a little bit. Like, I had my, like, bubble of comfort with me, and I wasn't too far, right? Like, four and a half hours is, like, enough. But it wasn't like I was. You had to fly to get back and forth from home. So this felt like a really good transition for me. Like, it would have been shocking. We considered schools on the east coast that would have probably shocked me into coming back home immediately. This was a really good, safe transition for me in which I was, like, experiencing independence for the first time and, like, learning. And this. This was the time where I was just, like, goofing off with my girlfriends. This was the first time I had free time. Because in high school, I did not have free time. I still tried a lot of new things in college, but I wasn't, like, super involved in my school, so we just had extra free time. We were pranking people. Like, we were like. We just had fun. And so I was not a part of a sorority, but I did go to a frat party. 11 dressed as Thomas Jefferson.

[Addie]

I was gonna say it. I was like, wait, maybe Abby's gonna say it when she talks about her college era.

[Abby]

So we went really all out for Halloween every year. And this was, like, this was my peak night. Completely sober.

[Rose]

Good. It's more fun that way.

[Abby]

I was totally sober. And we're like, we're dressed up for, like, our church Halloween party full. We were the five founding fathers. And I mean, we went all out, had the wrinkles, the big white wigs, and we. American flags. We had a declaration of independence. And the party, the church party ended. And we're like, we're not done yet. We're like, what's a fraternity? We don't know. And so someone was like, go to Fiji. And so we went. And they wouldn't let our guy friends in because boys aren't allowed in.

[Rose]

I thought they could have let you in because you were a boy.

[Abby]

They. They considered not allowing us.

[Rose]

They're like, oh.

[Abby]

They're like, we allow girls. But.

[Rose]

But what are you.

[Abby]

And everyone was like, this was a two story frat house party. And we went upstairs, and literally, my friend, that was Ben Franklin, her glasses fogged up immediately. Ben Franklin was fogged up. Ben Franklin. We were like, she was like, cleaning up. She was also stuffed with a pillow. Like, it was so funny and everyone was so drunk that when they saw us, they had, like, hilarious reactions. Like, this is the best thing ever. So there's, like, a lot of pictures from that night of, like, the five founding feathers and like, a sexy angel and a sexy. I mean, it was literally so hilarious. We thought we were the funniest people in the world. I love that. And so that just kind of explains my college experience for the first half. Just my classes in college were easier than high school, Just probably depending on, like, what major you choose what school and stuff. So I had a lot of time on my hands. Yeah, I had a great time also. We were working. Yeah. I just learned a lot in this time. But it felt really still safe and, like, really fun and light hearted.

[Rose]

Isn't it fun when you discover free will? You're like, I will. I will be a founding father for Halloween.

[Abby]

We did so many fun things.

[Addie]

I was gonna say. I feel like you guys set the standard for like, a funny Halloween composite costumes. You guys did Oompa Loompas. And then the next year. So I ended up living in the same house that Abby moved out.

[Abby]

Oh, yeah. We should have called this the Goop Coop era. That was the name of.

[Addie]

Because I'm in that era too. Afterwards, Abby moved out, I moved in, and then we dressed up as the Blue man group.

[Rose]

Oh, my gosh, you guys. It's so brilliant.

[Addie]

Fully painted blue. And at the church talent show, we were Backstreet Boys. We learned the whole dance.

[Abby]

Church talent show.

[Addie]

Gosh dang it. We had a fun church.

[Rose]

I remember when I became a Christian, I was like, what do you guys do for fun if you don't drink?

[Addie]

I'm sorry.

[Rose]

And I was like, I actually love it. We eat a lot of chocolate chip cookies.

[Abby]

A lot of cookies. Skillet.

[Rose]

So many cookie skillets. I'm like, I've been missing out. This is life changing. We love the Goop Coop era.

[Abby]

The Goop Coop era. That's the name of our house that we just called ourselves. The Goop Coop.

[Rose]

Is that when you met Blake through being in the Goop Coop?

[Addie]

I met them before I moved in. So we lived across the street and Blake and I were already dating. And then I moved in because I.

[Rose]

Was friends with that friend you met through Hill City.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Rose]

Oh, sorry. You met through church.

[Abby]

You can call it Hill City.

[Rose]

Okay.

[Abby]

I don't want to. Like location.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Addie]

We met through there. And then it was funny moving in because I moved in. I lived with Abby's best friend too, because I was friends with her at that point. And so it was fun living there. And all the memories there was.

[Rose]

Oh, epic.

[Abby]

It's a good house.

[Addie]

Goop Coopera, great. Yeah. And then the boys moved in afterwards. Like, my boys friend groups moved in once we moved out. That's crazy. It turned into a boy house.

[Rose]

Oh, no. Okay. My next era was my girl boss. My girl boss era.

[Abby]

I love that.

[Rose]

Yes. It's so fun. And chat. Called it Stitched from a daydream, which.

[Abby]

Stitched because I had a clothing store I love that. Yeah.

[Rose]

I had always had the dream. From, like 17 years old, I said, I'm going to start an online clothing boutique. At that time, there were not a lot of clothing. Online clothing boutiques, like online shopping just kind of was getting started. So I was like, this is going to be my thing and that. I graduated high school in 2014. So that's when I was. I had that idea. All of college. I just tailored my schooling to starting this business. And then my senior year when I was 21, during spring break was when I launched. I remember January went to market for the first time with my parents. March was when I launched. So I did it really fast. And that just kind of set off this journey of trying to figure out how to run a business out of my house. And it was so challenging, so rewarding, so fun. We did it for five years super fondly. In 2020, Killed came on the team with me full time, which was really, really cool too. And I just like working with him in that capacity was really fun, seeing how his brain worked. Also. Learning our working styles together was hard and fun, but it was just. It was like this young twenties. I'm like, pursuing my dream. And it was really great for a couple years. And then we lived in Kansas City at the time. We ended up deciding to move to Phoenix. That was after like three or four years of the business. No. Yeah, four years of the business. And once we moved here, I don't know what happened. It just. I do know what happened, but the business took a huge turn, a huge downfall, and I just was not equipped and could not. I couldn't figure out how to fix the business. And financially we started to fall into a huge hole. And I didn't realize at the time when I was 21 and signed up for a credit card that that debt would become my personal debt. I'm like, no, I'm an llc. It's on. You know, I'm not responsible for the debt. You are. So we started racking up. Caleb was like, what are we doing? And then led a series of. Just like, pretty hard. A really hard year. This was in 2023. And ended up making the really hard decision to close the business. Then I feel like we got a miracle from the Lord. We were able to sell the business, and within the next year, we were able to pay off all the debt. It was really hard. We were scraping by. We had to move out of our rental house because we couldn't afford it anymore. We ended up having a baby in this time. We Had CJ the whole year. I felt like again, I had just kind of been, like, punched and I was like, I don't know what my next move is. And there was a lot of feeling lost in this season. A lot of grief over my dreams dying and just going from this, like, high, fast paced life of trying to run a company to then, like, I have a baby and I'm a mom and I don't know what my life looks like, honestly. So there were some really high parts and then some hard parts in that era, but it was a very special five years of my life, all of it. I look at it very fondly.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

I'm really proud of what you did with Bolt and it was really cool to watch you do that. And it's gonna be cool to see how you take those skills and launch it into the next thing. I'll never forget. Like, I could. I don't think you, like, really. We didn't have a lot of conversations about how it was, like, getting hard until, like, one time you came over for dinner at our house and you were like, we're gonna file for bankruptcy.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

And I was like, no, yeah, yeah.

[Rose]

You gave us good advice.

[Abby]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I was like, good at giving advice, but I was just like, there's got to be something else.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

And so it just got to a.

[Rose]

Point where we looked at the, the, you know, okay, when you have a business, we had $60,000 of debt at that point on the business and on credit cards. On a credit card. Yeah. And it's like, okay, you could do $30,000 in sales one month. Like, so you think, oh, we can pay this off in a couple months. But then our sales dipped, but our expenses stayed the same. And it just racked up so fast and it literally. I've never felt like I was drowning so deeply. Like, Caleb and I both would wake up in the middle of the night just in sweatshirt and panic. Like, I don't know how we're going to do this. And you think about the effects of bankruptcy. Like, you can't buy a house. You. Your credit is ruined. You know, there are all these big things. And I had sought counsel from someone else that I had know that had closed a business. And she did that and it was really great for her. So I was like, that's our only answer. I don't know how we're going to come up with $60,000. We don't have Jobs like, this is our job, and we're just not making any money. But it was good for us to just, like, slow the brakes. Ended up being able to. We don't get into that, but we were able to pay it off really quickly, which was just such a miracle. And, yeah, it was such a hard. Like, being in financial debt, like, that is. Is so crippling. It's really scary. So I feel for people when they, like, talk about that and. But it. There's hope. There's light at the end of the tunnel. You can get through it.

[Abby]

I feel like a lot of business owners can relate to that because, like, what's the statistics? Like, it's great to, you know, have that drive and passion to start something, but it's hard. It's a hard road. And the fact that you did it for five years is amazing. Thanks.

[Rose]

Yeah, I remember when we closed, you came over and you would help me pack orders, like, on the closing sale. And I'm someone that. I don't always share my emotions outwardly, but that was one of the most, like, meaningful things ever. You just come in because I. I couldn't really talk about it. I was so internally so sad and such a puzzle. I couldn't, like, put to words what it was. And you would just come over and help me pack orders, and you'd bring Griffin and you guys. It was just. It was. It meant so much to me. Yeah. That was a really good way to show up in a time where I.

[Abby]

Knew I enjoyed it. I did. Yeah. That was a big chapter for you.

[Rose]

That was. Yeah. Super formative.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

My next one was called Newlywed Dreams and Humble Beginnings. My first two years of college, I wasn't married. I got married after my sophomore year of college. So then I was a married college student. I found myself in a weird season, super joyful. Like, I mean, the Newlywed bliss was. I mean, imagine what, like, what you imagine. Newlywed blessed to be, but then also, you're 20 years old, and you've also never lived with a man before. Like, never. Like, it was jacked up to, like, 150%. It was amazing. Like, I was literally, like. I remember just, like, going pee in the middle of the night and coming back in my bed, and I was like, we're married. He's in my bed still. Yeah, Literally. Literally. Just, like, so on cloud 11. So happy. And it also feels so fake, too, because we were in college. Like, we would go to class together. I don't know. It was such a unique season to Be in. But it also did pose a couple weird challenges as far as, like, I had always been, like, so close with friends, and it did put a little bit of me on a weird playing field with my peers because I'm not living on campus. I'm living in an apartment off campus. And I'm married. So, like, my first person to go to is my husband now. Whereas, like, it had been my girlfriends. And so I found myself in a weird transition part where I was like, what's my role with my friends now? What they're not thinking to invite me to things. And I have to be more vocal about, like, getting. Being a part of that still, because I still wanted to, like, have the college thing, but just, like, try to figure out how it fit in this new lens. So there were some, like, growing pains with that, for sure. Humble beginnings is because we were looking for apartments when we were engaged. And I remember we were like, man, it's gonna be kind of hard to find a place that, like, fits comfortably within our budget because we can only work part time because we're in school full time. So, like, we're in school full time. And then also trying to, like, make our income, which a lot of people find themselves in that position. But we're like, wow, we gotta be tight with it. And then we found this apartment where, like, rent is so cheap, but we're like, dang it, it is government subsidized. It's for low income. We're like, it's not gonna work. And we're like, wait a minute, we're low income. And so because we were filing taxes differently being married, we were certainly eligible for the low income housing. And so living in this government subsidized housing for the year and a half that we lived there was honestly, I needed it. I really needed this because I had grown up in such a bubble. And like, I had. It's not like we were wealthy by any means, but I had all of my needs met. I was more than comfortable with my family. And then in college, like, we scraped by, but, like, it's so different. Like, you're in college, like, you have the amenities of the university. Like, and if anything really happened, I know I could call my parents and they would have my back. But we became in close community with a lot of people that, like, were finding themselves in a really tough season of their life. Like, and there was people of all ages. There was, like, people that were senior citizens. There was families with, like, little kids. There were. I mean, there was all types of People in this apartment building, and we got to know a lot of them closely. Like, we would have dinner with them a lot. There's days that, like, really broke my heart with living there. And, like, I can still cry thinking about, especially some of the kids. Like, I just. I. Yeah, it was good for me to see this and to, like, learn and experience it. Some of these kids, like, literally didn't ever leave their apartment building. And I had never had a frame of reference for any life like that, any childhood like that. My childhood had been so idyllic and so, like, this. The fact that the. There was no amenities in this building for kids and that this. There was, like, kids that actually never left because they didn't have a vehicle. Like, their playground was the parking lot, and, like, they. That was all they knew was their own unit that was small, like one bedroom and then the parking lot. A lot of people struggling with addiction, struggling with unemployment, and I feel like I just. I needed that so badly to, like, humble myself and, like. Yeah, I think I just. It really changed my perspective on people, and especially people that are finding themselves in a rough patch and also in the juxtaposition of us just, like, being newlyweds and, like, we're like, the happy, go lucky, like, goofballs. Like, nothing could go wrong. And then we're like, oh, my gosh, like, learning people's stories was. It was a really cool season.

[Rose]

You guys are so extroverted. You did such a good job. I feel like in an apartment complex, it can be so easy to just close your door and never know your neighbors. And I feel like you guys knew all your neighbors. You knew all of them. I was so impressed when we visited and just seeing how you guys interact with them all. And they all loved you guys.

[Abby]

Like, thank you.

[Rose]

Like, oh, yeah. We had lunch with them, and they brought us meals, and I took their kids to the store. And, like, I don't know, you just were. You were, like, very intertwined with these people's lives in a really cool way.

[Abby]

Thank you. That's really nice.

[Rose]

It was impressive. I do realize I made a Boo Boo. I did combine my Boss Babe era, Stitch My Daydream with my Prince in the Pauper era. The Prince, Big CJ and the Popper.

[Abby]

Being me, he was the king.

[Rose]

But my last era is the Comeback era. And by my title is the Return was Quiet or not quite because I'm literally on social media. But I feel like I came out of that season my dreams were dead. I meant this new. This new Season of being a mom for the first time had a really hard labor, which we've talked about a ton before. And, like, financially, we're building ourselves back up. And it really felt. Caleb starting a new job, it just really felt like we were rebuilding ourselves from the ground up with not a ton of direction. Like, it was really just like, our palms are open. Lord, wherever you lead us, we will go. Please just bring the opportunities to us. Because I also felt internally so exhausted, like, just coming off the emotionally drained. So I was like, whatever. Just we'll just. I'm just here for. Along for the ride at this point. And slowly I was able to build my confidence back up. I feel like just day by day, when you just continue to show up for yourself, for your kids, for your family, for your spouse, and you just. You just slowly start to feel like, okay, we're fighting our way. And I feel like you guys have kind of put me on, like, a nice little platform with putting me out on planned and sharing, like, my hard labor and some of the hard things of the business that I was able to grow a little bit of a following. And that helped kind of this career into social media, which was really cool. So, yeah, I feel like that is kind of like here to now. And obviously, just like, I feel like Caleb and I have reached this sweet spot where his job is hard still and he's doing hard things, but, like, he's trying to build businesses. And I just feel like we have direction as a family again. And it's been a really sweet season, and I feel like I'm ready to take on. I'm ready to take on opportunities again like this podcast. Like, it was a lot to, like, think about committing to something. After closing the business, I was like, I don't. I lost a little confidence in myself. And so now I'm like, we're doing it. It's the comeback era.

[Abby]

I love that.

[Rose]

Yeah, that's the.

[Abby]

You're coming back.

[Rose]

Coming back, baby.

[Abby]

No, I just. I think it's funny that you call it a comeback era, because I feel like being closely around you during this tough season to now, you still never lost in my eyes your ability to show up for others, your joy, your service towards others. You never lost it through all of it. And I feel like you steward that hardship so well. I knew it was so tough on you, but you never lost your integrity, you never lost your faith, like, all of it. And you just. Just. I. I see why you call it the comeback era, but I feel like we never lost you like, and you kept like, you were so selfless too, with others in that time too, even though it was such a hard season for you, so.

[Rose]

Well, thanks. I appreciate that. I do feel like when you have a faith, like my identity, I did have a lot of identity wrapped up in. In Bolt, but that's not my overall identity. And so I felt like even though I had lost a part of me, I didn't feel like I lost myself. Do you know what I mean?

[Abby]

I totally agree.

[Rose]

Yeah. And so there were aspects of me, like, I felt like I lost a lot of confidence in my decision making skill, things like that that were really hard that I feel like I feel better about. But I really appreciate you saying that. That's sweet. Thanks for. Yeah, you never know, like, what you're presenting yourself as externally. So that's.

[Abby]

Well, I also feel like that's when you. You show up as you truly are is when you're put to it. That's so cheesy and cliche, but, like, that's the truth. Like when you. Your character shines the truest form of itself when you're put through extremely difficult circumstances.

[Rose]

Yeah. And it's like I always think, and it's biblical, but like the trials in our lives shape us and make us better people. And we shouldn't fear hard things in our life because we come out of them stronger and more refined and more resilient and overall better. And like, obviously going through hard things is. It sucks. It's like literally the worst thing ever. But there is purpose at the end of coming through these seasons that. That in the middle of it, we do not see it. And I don't think we should be expected to see it. But then once you're on the other side, you're like, okay, I see the purpose of that and I. I feel that thankfully with those hard seasons with.

[Abby]

Caleb and I, that's really reflective. Yeah.

[Rose]

Thank you.

[Abby]

Does that sound disingenuous?

[Rose]

That. Yeah. No, I didn't.

[Abby]

Oh, I thought that's why you laugh. I was like. No, I mean that I just laugh.

[Rose]

Because I'm not normally reflective.

[Abby]

Oh, okay.

[Rose]

Like, thanks. I've been thinking about it a lot.

[Abby]

I've been working on that. Okay, well, yours just ended on a nice bow. This is where we've actually found myself in my hardest era yet. And I actually mean this. Like, truthfully, this was my hardest season by far. This one's called Waves of Change. Lost our jobs during the pandemic, which. Why are we lost our jobs? We were like no big deal. Like, we'll just figure it out. And so at this point, I had started nannying a lot. Matt had started, started. He's like, you know what? I know how to edit videos. We had our camera from our wedding. He's like, I noticed Abbie watching YouTube videos. Like, I feel like we could do this. And so six months into him. No, no, no. A year almost into him, making nine months into Matt posting on social media is when the pandemic happened. Six months into the pandemic, then is when we were like, this could actually be like a career option for us. Which was really unexpected out of the blue and never something I had truly considered before. So I didn't really take it seriously for a while. But, like, Matt really saw the vision for it. He was, like, very passionate for it. He's a dreamer and he's a doer. So he was like, making it happen. Me, I was still going to class and like, nannying. And then by the end of me, I graduated a semester early. And at that point we were kind of like, okay, we could either dive in head first for this and see what comes of it. We'll never have another time in our life where our life feels so, like, flexible, or we could just completely abandon this. And I was like, it would be a shame to just not ride this out and see where it will take us. And so we commit to doing that. And then we were like, okay, well, heck, we can really live anywhere to do this. So we're like, let's do the craziest place ever. Like, let's move to Hawaii. We'd always dreamed of, like, you know, who doesn't have, like, island dreams? Going somewhere really far. When you've been grown up in this small town in the Midwest, you're like, go far. And so find ourselves in Hawaii. Don't know anybody upon moving there. And this was also my first time where I had never had community. Like, I had all growing up, had so much community. College took my community with me and then built some more there. It was like, amazing. And then all of a sudden it was just me and my husband. And it kind of burst this bubble in my mind. Like, I was like, okay, well, no matter what, I'll have him and he can be everything for me. And then I was like, this was actually never how it was designed to be. He was never supposed to be everything for me. And then I was like, okay, well, for the first time in my life, I found it really, really difficult to make friends and keep friends and to, like, have a community that I could lean on and then I could be a part of and contribute to. So I would not say I was clinically depressed, but if I had talked to a doctor, maybe I would have been. Like, I was really struggling by, like, six months into this season. Like, I think the transition of, like, doing having a career on social media mixed with, like, just, like, the new pressures and everything that that came with, plus feeling so isolated, plus feeling like, the juxtaposition of, like, my life online versus, like, what my reality was. Like, Matt and I were still, like, having an amazing time, but then, like, at the end of the day, there was just this, like, low lying, like, sinking feeling in me. Like, I was just, like, so lost at this point in my life. And it was really a hard time. It's hard for me to even say that because it's like I still recognize I had it so good and things were good, but, like, just like, in my spirit, my soul, I was, like, so lost, so questioning everything. Just feeling like, like, my purpose was so confused. Like, I was like, where? What is the purpose? Purpose? What is. What am I doing? Like, just felt really, really, really lost. I, like, told Matt I was like, I just think I can't live here anymore. And it's not about the place that we were in. It just had everything to do with, like, so many things going on with my personal life at that point. That was the waves of change. We were in Hawaii for a year, and that was just a really, really hard year. And it was also mixed with the fact that, like, my husband was, like, living his best life. Like, he was so thrilled and to be there and, like, loved everything about it and, like, had such. And he was on a high of life at this point. And so it felt like for a while I was like, I got to just, like, keep doing it because I can't, like, bring him down. And then I also don't want to be selfish. Like, we got married to, like, make decisions together, and, like, I got to see this through. And then by the year, like, when our lease was up, I was like, we can't. I can't anymore. Like, we're going back. We were going back, and I felt so selfish. And I honestly, to this day still feel, like, a little bit of guilt because it's like, I knew, like, he loved it so much, but he was so selfless and was like, yeah, like, you're not thriving here. Like, we all go somewhere else. So that's the waves of change era. Like, that just the dogs of position of, like, living in paradise and feeling, like, terrible.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

So. And just, like, so lost. I literally was like, I'm just in the middle of the ocean. Like, I was just confused.

[Rose]

Yeah. It's also too, like, you guys were, I mean, what, two years married at that point.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Rose]

And feeling so not on the same page with your spouse at that point, too, is so hard. You don't know how to navigate those feelings of not being on the same page and then you being so down and him being, like, living the best life. I just imagine that being really, really.

[Abby]

We'd never experienced that before in our relationship, ever.

[Rose]

No.

[Abby]

Like, everything had just been so on par.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Like, we had felt, like, aligned and everything. And then the first time, we were, like, on totally different pages, so. You're right. That was just another thing adding to, like, everything feeling so off and confusing. Next one is called New Roots and Bright Skies. So we moved to sunny Arizona, which was, honestly, everyone's like, what brought you to Arizona? It was pretty random. Like, it was really pretty random. But we had visited a couple times to see friends, and I was like, I always love the sunshine there.

[Rose]

We knew we didn't want to go.

[Abby]

Back to the Midwest. It's not like it'll never happen, but it was just like, we were still really enjoying being in a different part, setting up our own life. And so then family started to move out here. And so that also just made it feel more real, like, more roots being established and then also growing our own family. Like, we're really, like, settling down roots here in Arizona. And, like, in just now the season of, like, growing our family. And, like, so grateful we have community here and, like, amazing community. So, like, so grateful. And it just really feels like we're getting settled. And I feel like I have navigated enough things, like, where I can say, like, now I'm like, okay, I feel like an adult now. I feel like I've entered my seat, like, welcoming adulthood. Like, that's where I feel like I have a different type of confidence since having kids and just, like, honestly, just things I've been through, like, I feel like, a different type of confidence and sense of identity. I feel like we're getting to, like, a more comfortable place and just really grateful for where we're at. And I also just feel like, more than ever, like, I'm in a place where, like, kind of like what you said, like, when, like, challenges, like, also make us stronger. And I know that's, like, so cliche, but I really feel like I would have thought, like, a lot of things that have, like, been hard in my life would have made me feel so fragile, but. And so sometimes people treat me like I'm fragile, which is just honestly, them being sensitive to me and considerate, and I'm not upset about it at all. But I'm like, what you don't know is that very strong. Like, I'm like, no one has to, like, necessarily protect me. And so basically, I feel like I am, like, rooted, and I feel like I have, like, confidence, and that's different than what I had as, like, a young adult and a teenager. And I'm also just, like I said, bright skies. Because I'm also, like, just looking forward to, like, the future. I feel like I could not tell you what my life would look like in five years from now. And that's, like, so good. Like, I, like, love that. And, yeah, I just feel really grateful for the season I'm in and really excited for what's to come.

[Rose]

Yes.

[Abby]

Bright skies.

[Rose]

Bright skies. You definitely. You radiate confidence.

[Abby]

That's so nice.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Rose]

And you're very resilient.

[Abby]

Thank you.

[Rose]

And it's like, you go through these hard things and you. You come out. You come out so confident and strong.

[Abby]

Thank you.

[Rose]

And I'm amazed at the woman that you are.

[Abby]

You're so nice. Feel the same way. Well, that was a long segment, but I also feel like, like, when Abby had this idea for this episode, I was like, I love that for so many reasons, because I also feel like it's a good first. Like, this is our third episode, but one of the first, like, episodes just, like, have a good foundation of, like, where we're coming from. So if you say something that you're like, what the.

[Rose]

You're like, oh, well, that's their viewpoint.

[Abby]

That's where they came from.

[Rose]

Just a little bit.

[Abby]

That's some of their history.

[Rose]

And totally. Yeah, I agree. I thought this was gonna be light hearted. Gosh.

[Abby]

Something about the lights scaring my soul. Your testimony, like, your everything is. I'm sweating.

[Rose]

I'm literally dripping. Look, we're gonna be talking about our eras.

[Abby]

60,000, depression. We get knocked down. That was my song from 2025.

[Rose]

Great one. Oh, my God.

[Abby]

I got knocked down.

[Rose]

I get up again.

[Abby]

I just think about, honestly, like, 2025 wrapped up in a little box would be. Or, like, wrapped up in one snapshot was me and Ashley and Mike in the rage room listening to that song. Smashing stuff. I was like, like, yeah, that's accurate.

[Rose]

Like, this is this year I was.

[Abby]

Like, I can't wait to see what 2026 is.

[Rose]

Not the snot.

[Addie]

The snort, the snot, the snort.

[Abby]

Okay. Gotta watch my sweatshirt.

[Rose]

We could laugh to the pain.

[Abby]

Gosh dang it. I was.

[Rose]

I was up till 2. The heart and the humor.

[Abby]

Heart.

[Rose]

Wait, what is it?

[Abby]

The heart and the heart. Yes, humor.

[Rose]

I know it.

[Abby]

Let's do the voicemails.

[Rose]

Ask, ask, ask. Abby.

[Addie]

Hi.

[Rose]

I love listening to you guys, and.

[Addie]

I'm so excited you're starting a new podcast. I'm a mom of a new baby.

[Abby]

Girl, and my question is, what is.

[Addie]

The best way to find community as.

[Rose]

In this new stage? And how can I find friends in the best way?

[Addie]

Thanks so much.

[Rose]

That's a good question. That's a really good question. I feel like we're still. I feel like we've found a sweet spot at our gym. Like, our gym has free child care, so naturally, just be a lot of moms that gravitate towards that. Little kids. I feel like we've met a lot of friends through that, and they're local. Locally. Yeah.

[Abby]

On a good same schedule. Like, that's totally.

[Rose]

But I understand, like, gyms are expensive, so that's not always. I feel like you talk about the library a lot and just going like. I feel like you've done a good job of finding a lot of child center activities to where there are a lot of other moms and kids. Mm.

[Abby]

I feel like there's a lot of, like, example advice I could grab towards. Like, obviously, yeah, like, find activities in your community. But I think the baseline advice for making friends as adults. John Deloney says this is go first and be weird. Which it. Like, it's. It's really just true. Like, you gotta just, like, throw it out there. And I don't think, like, not everyone has to be your best friend. You can hang out with people and be like, yeah, that's.

[Addie]

It's.

[Abby]

No one's. In the fall, if you just, like, get dinner and you're like, okay, that might be the only time that we do that. No one's at fault for that. Like, it's just like a clicking thing. But, like, I think great way, like, especially when you have kids, is like, why don't you just come over for dinner some night? Because also, it's like, it's personal because they're seeing where you live and your kids can play together, and then you're. It's not that expensive because you're probably gonna make enough for every. I don't know. Like, you can make a little extra food. But yeah, the baseline advice there is just like, go first and be weird. Just throw it out there. Like, yeah, hey, we could take our kids that. We could go to the park or we could go on a walk. And I feel like, honestly, 99% of the time, that person too is also longing for a friendship and would love to do something too. So you're not gonna really get that many misses. But hey, if you do, you shot your shot totally fine. Like, so, yeah, I think, like, wherever you find yourself, just don't be afraid to just set something on the calendar.

[Rose]

That reminds me of in my neighborhood one day, this was a couple months ago, I was walking and across the street I saw a mom with a baby in a stroller walking, and I saw she was wearing a cheap shirt and I yelled across the street, you're a Jeeves fan. And I go, I'm gonna come over and talk to you. I just didn't even give her an opportunity. Got her number, we went on a couple playdates and I loved her. Yeah, she was great. You gotta be weird.

[Abby]

Yeah, you gotta put it. Gotta be weird. It's totally fine. Hi, Abby. My name is Jordan and I am a mom to a two year old girl and a one year old boy. And so I've recently started experiencing the toddler tantrum. What is one tantrum strategy that actually worked for you guys and one that totally didn't? Any help is greatly appreciated.

[Rose]

Thanks.

[Abby]

Bye. Oh, does C.J. throw tantrums?

[Rose]

He does, yeah. Yeah, every kid does.

[Abby]

Also, we were on the parenting category, so that's crazy. Parent experts, we have toddlers, been parents for like a whole total of two years.

[Rose]

Literally. Literally. It's a good question. I feel like I'm still trying to navigate that too. Every kid's gonna be different.

[Abby]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. So what works for one of my kids is not work for one of my other kids, so. Or for my other kid. So one, I always recommend, honestly, when they're really young. Two and one is so young, the art of distraction. I feel like I can distract away a lot of problems. Like, I'm like, this isn't actually like them a behavior I need to, like, punish. They're just having really big feelings and they're confused and they don't fully understand the details of everything in life. So when we're taking them away from something, they don't understand why they can be there. So I'm like, like, let's just distract them. Get Them something else to look forward to. And I feel like that solves a lot of them. Like, honestly, I would say 80% is just distracting away the problem. Another. Whatever. What works better for an older kid, we just call it taking a break. And this is something that he doesn't view as, like, necessarily a consequence. It's really just more like, okay, I'm gonna take him out of the situation that's causing the problem and help him calm down, and then we can talk about it, because I can reason with him once he's calm. And so we just take a break. It's literally like two, three minutes, and we take a deep breath. I'll sit with him a lot of the times during the break because I don't want it to be like, the consequences, like, you're removed from mom and dad. I don't know. It's. It's really just to help him de escalate. And I can. He can still de escalate with us next to him. And sometimes he wants us there, and sometimes he doesn't. But, yeah, we call that take a break. And that helps also just, like, lower the heightened emotions. What do you do with cj?

[Rose]

I feel like he's never been distractible.

[Abby]

Really?

[Rose]

Yeah. The distraction never worked. Like, he was. Oh, he would get fixated, and that would usually be what the tantrum was about. And so he's actually a kid that I can. If I explain it, like, hey, this is why we can't have this right now. It usually kind of de escalates him. But when he does get overly upset and he's like, have these big feelings, I at first would just, like, put him in his room. And not like, I would just be like, hey, you need to come in here and just, like, take some deep breaths. You can read your books. You can play with your toys. I'll open the window. Like, I would do all the things, like just calm down. And then he started telling me when he was not upset, he'd be like, mommy locks me in my room when I'm sad. And I was like, that's not what's happening. And so I was like, maybe that's not benefiting him. So I had to re direct my strategy with that. And I do tell him. I'm like, hey, let's get your books. Books. Let's read. Like, I kind of a little bit of ignoring him because he just can't be reasoned with, but also offering him like, hey, I want you. Here's your books. Here are your things. But I just Kind of let him out in the open and I kind of just ignore him until he calms down. And if he comes to me, I give him a hug. It's like this fine line of, like, comfort, but also not letting him know that that behavior is okay. Like, he's not going to get what he wants in the tantrum, but also, like, giving him space to calm down and like, deep breathe. I don't know. I'm still figuring it out.

[Abby]

Same. Sorry, this is getting kind of long winded. But I also think that the important thing with tantrums for me, like, I did not want them to think that they can't. There's certain emotions that are not safe to come to me with. And so, like, I always try to name it in that moment and it seems so like gentle parenting. I don't know. Like, but if I feel like it's really important because I want them to know, I'm like, are you angry? Like, are you. Are you frustrated? Are you sad? And I feel like I want him to know. I'm like, it's okay to be angry. Like, we can't be mean, but it's okay to be angry. And so I really want to teach them. Like, and I think that in doing this, it's really not that they say it out loud, but it's that they recognize in themselves. Like, my heart is racing. I feel like this type of like, fight or flight response. But I want them to be able to know in themselves, I recognize when they're feeling these, like, what it is that's happening in their body. And so then they can also start to direct themselves better, like in a direction. Like, I think this will take their entire childhood to probably arrive at. But I think at this age, it looks like are you feel.

[Addie]

It's, it's.

[Abby]

You look like you might be angry.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Like, are you feeling angry? Or you look like you might be frustrated or usually it's frustrated angry.

[Rose]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Sometimes it's upset sad. But anyway, all that said, I think it helps to like, kind of get in the habit of naming it. I don't know if that sounds like too woo woo or something.

[Rose]

Yeah. When he said, mommy locks, mommy closes the door. When I'm sad, I was like, me and my parents and Caleb, everyone. I was like, buddy, you don't ever get in trouble for being sad. Like, it's okay to be sad.

[Abby]

Up.

[Rose]

Yeah. I was like, oh, keep the door.

[Abby]

Open, keep the door open. I wanted to ask a question about what are your biggest tips for college? I'm going into college next year, and I love your podcast. Thank you so much. College. Wow. That's so big because there's so many firsts in that season.

[Rose]

You have so many opportunities at your fingertips, and this is your time to try everything. Like, even the smallest of things to the biggest of things. Like, get involved in college, because that's when you form connections. That's when you figure out if it's. If what careers you're actually interested in. I feel like I figured out a lot of my strengths and weaknesses in college just by, like, getting involved in trying different things. And that can be as simple as in my sorority. I was on. I, like, did the secret handshake at the door. But just being more involved in my sorority and having, like, a role, I felt like I got to know people better. I was on. You know, you just. You get more things presented to you when you're deeper in volved in things. Join clubs, get involved, take risks. Try everything.

[Abby]

My advice is don't go into debt. Yeah, you can take out student loans, but try your best. This will be the first time in your life where a company will literally be like, I'll give you a little plastic card and you can just swipe it, and people will give you what you want. And that's the first time that that'll happen. And that will feel like magic. And it's gonna come with real consequences when, honestly just very shortly down the road, that will actually impact the rest of your life. And I say this because I know so many people in college that went into so much debt.

[Rose]

I know.

[Abby]

And it's really. It's hard to have that discipline when there's so many shiny things that you want. You see other people getting big, like, fancy coffees every day or, you know, have the newest tech or, you know, the best clothes. Like, it's so tempting. But remain disciplined in your finances from the very beginning, because it is just the first time in life that you can make this pitfall that will. It's a. It's a trap.

[Rose]

Oh, Abby, that's really good advice. I remember when I was 18, you hear her the number. You're like $20,000. And you're like, well, if you make a hundred thousand dollars a year, what's 20k? But, like, that's a ton of money and it'll grow. And when you come out of college, like, oh, my gosh, starting in a big pool of debt is really overwhelming. It's just like a really hard way to enter adult adulthood. So, yeah, if you can minimize that. The best you can. Do the best you can.

[Abby]

And that's a wrap. Sorry, we were really long winded this week. Some of that might get edited out, and that's okay. But thanks for being here, guys.

[Rose]

Wow.

[Abby]

I feel like they're really getting to know us really quick.

[Rose]

You actually know everything.

[Abby]

That's.

[Rose]

I got nothing else to say. Remember, we're always here.