Bridal Confessions: Wedding Rules and Do's & Don'ts for the Big Day

Summary

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Always Here Podcast Summary

Episode: Bridal Confessions: Wedding Rules and Do's & Don'ts for the Big Day

Hosts: Abby Howard & Abby Howard (with Addie)

Date: May 1, 2026
Produced by: Daylight Media

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Overview

This lively, genuine, and humor-filled episode centers on all things wedding! Sister-in-laws and co-hosts Abby & Abby (joined by Addie) share their personal wedding experiences, reflect on listener submissions of "wedding regrets," and break down their own do’s and don’ts for brides, grooms, and wedding guests. The conversation blends practical advice, heartfelt stories, and plenty of laughs, creating an engaging seasonally appropriate guide as wedding season kicks off. The episode also squeezes in a pop culture reality TV roundup, vibrant book club chat, and special community moments.

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Episode Highlights & Key Discussion Points

1. Personal Updates & Warm-Up (01:39–13:20)

• Disney Trip Debrief:
  • B and her family went to Disney, juggling chaotic hotel switches and exhausted kids.
  • Pregnancy update: B is showing at 24 weeks, leading to strangers confidently asking when she’s due—furthering the running joke, “If there’s one thing men got, it’s the audacity.” (03:06, B)
• Forbes 30 Under 30 Recap:
  • A attended the summit, listing inspiring speakers (Dwayne Wade, Michael Phelps, Ashley Graham) but notes it felt like “a sorority business school event—business casual everywhere!” (06:55, A)
  • Sweet fan moment: A listener’s husband recognized Abby from the podcast at the event.
• Book Club Tease:
  • May’s pick is "The Correspondent," and there’s talk about book club format changes.

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2. Hope & Hard: Heartfelt Life Updates (08:45–15:28)

• Feeling Known:
  • B shares a meaningful moment: husband Matt ran upstairs, excited that new research may have solved the Roanoke Colony mystery—a sweet example of feeling deeply known in marriage. (09:09–10:45)
• Patreon Announcement:
  • Big news: Always Here is launching a Patreon soon for deeper community, more interactive book chats, bonus content, and a free newsletter.
    • “Our focus has always been to grow deeper...this is a really cool way to do that.” (16:20, B)

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3. Health Milestone & Reflections (18:00–22:29)

• MFM Graduation:
  • B celebrates graduating from maternal fetal medicine, signaling a healthy pregnancy and relief from $900+ appointment bills. Expresses sadness for parents who can’t afford such care. (19:39)
• Motherhood & May Energy:
  • Anticipation for a packed, event-filled May.
  • Emotional honesty—B admits to feeling drained after recording a grief podcast, and shares her struggle with emotional transparency, especially around in-laws. (23:04–24:36)

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4. Wedding Regrets: Listener Confessions (43:23–56:39)

Format: The hosts read listener submissions, laughing, empathizing, and offering commentary.

Notable Submissions:

• Regrets Not Having a Day-of Coordinator:
  • “Type A and type B: get your coordinator so your day actually happens.” (43:54, C)
• Wearing Uncomfortable Dresses or Heels:
  • “Got to be comfortable.” (45:10, B)
• Didn’t Eat Cake:
  • “We ate six cupcakes that night on our bed after.” (45:38, A)
• No Professional Videographer:
  • Phone footage isn’t the same; in-laws stepped in to capture memories.
• Obligatory Invites & Bridesmaids:
  • Don’t invite people or include bridesmaids out of guilt.
• Left Wedding Early:
  • “We waited for marriage...so you partied, just different.” (50:07, A)
• Not Getting Photos with Grandparents, Letting Mom Control Everything, Misjudging Wedding Budget.

Memorable Moment:

• “I regret marrying my husband.” –Grace (49:37, B)
  • The hosts react with sympathy and humor, underscoring the variety of submissions.

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5. Essential Do’s and Don’ts for Guests & Couples (57:03–77:40)

For Wedding Guests

• DO:

  • Take lots of candid photos and videos for the couple—share them after! (57:10, A)
  • Arrive early—never be late. A memorable host anecdote: accidentally locking eyes with the bride as she walked down the aisle after arriving two minutes late. (61:02, A)
  • Attend both the ceremony and the reception if possible.
  • Give a gift—mail it if possible. If no shower attendance, cash in a card is always a blessing. (62:24, B; 63:00, A)
  • Be FUN on the dance floor! “Please be fun ... try to participate ... get sweaty. It made my wedding so fun.” (65:59, B)

• DON’T:

  • Don’t wear white (unless it’s a themed dress code). Funny confession: A once wore a white dress with blue flowers by mistake. (63:36, A)
  • Don’t say goodbye to the couple during their dance party. “Don’t stop their dance party...just sneak out!” (67:07, A)
  • Don’t make wedding speeches too long or crude. Four minutes max, keep it clean. (68:08, B)
  • Don’t show up just for the fun (skip the ceremony), or vice versa—respect the full event.

For Brides/Grooms

• DO:

  • Consider a late-night snack for guests (i.e., a food truck or fun buffet). (69:22, A)
  • Have a packed, stacked registry at varying price points (80:11, B)
  • Sit at dinner, hold hands, and take in the room—appreciate the unique gathering of loved ones. (71:28, A)
  • Record a private video right after the wedding to yourselves or your future kids. It’s been powerful to revisit in hard times. (72:53, B)
  • Write thank you notes for gifts—split the work between spouses. (81:27, B)

• DON’T:

  • Don’t overdo your makeup. “If you’ve never done a smokey eye in your life, your wedding is not the time!” (71:02, A)
  • Don’t have too many speeches at the wedding—save open mics for the rehearsal dinner, which can be more intimate and memorable. (75:06, A)
  • Don’t do a "first look" if you value the emotional weight of the ceremony entrance. (80:24, A)
  • Don’t just ask for cash—some guests love picking gifts, especially older family. (77:29, B)

Memorable Quote:

• “You should definitely have a packed, stacked registry with a multitude of price ranges.” (80:11, B)
• “Don’t feel obliged to do anything.” (54:40, A)

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6. Pop Culture Segment: Reality TV Roundup (27:50–40:43)

• Addie highlights Hulu’s new reality shows, “Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: Orange County” and a “Dancing with the Stars” pro spinoff.
• Quick discussions about influencer participation controversy and reality TV drama (“Taylor Frankie Paul” and “Dakota” on Alex Cooper’s show), with the hosts debating fairness and double standards.
• Notable Pop Culture Quotes:
  • “[Dance world] is very intense, you guys.” (35:56, A)
  • “Can I just throw something a hot ... this is a hot topic.” (36:33, A)

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7. Book Club: "Just Friends" by Haley Pham (85:14–96:09)

• All three hostesses review the debut novel by YouTuber Haley Pham.
  • Praise for the sweet, wholesome YA tone, relatable coming-of-age journey, and gentle handling of grief.
  • The group reflects on how vulnerable it is to publish fiction with so many eyes on you.
• Quote:
  • “Fiction writing might be one of the most vulnerable things to release to the vastness of the internet.” (85:42, B)
• Recommendation: Great choice for young readers, mothers & daughters, or a light pool read with surprising emotional depth.

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8. Voicemail Q&A & Community (96:17–102:48)

Q1: How do you know how many kids to have?

• Hosts advise new mom to give it time, as parenting a baby is very different from having older kids, and “your capacity grows” with time and experience. (98:29, B)

Q2: Screen Time and Social Media Discipline

• Rotating answers: scrolling is mostly confined to the toilet or bedtime, and most have app timers. Motherhood has increased the desire to steward time better.
• “My relationship with screen time comes from motherhood more than posting online.” (100:20, B)

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9. Always Hungry: Favorite Recipes (102:52–104:39)

• Blueberry Lemon Sweet Rolls (from Ambitious Kitchen) – described as decadent, sweet, perfect for brunch or a treat. (102:53, A)
• Breakfast Burritos (batch prepped and frozen; raw tortillas make all the difference; TikTok inspired). (103:21, B)

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “If there’s one thing men got, it’s the audacity.” — B (03:06)
• “Take lots of videos and pictures for them...I wasn’t on my phone because I wanted to be in the moment.” — A (57:10)
• “Please be fun on the dance floor. Try to participate...get sweaty. It made my wedding so fun.” — B (65:59)
• “If you’ve never done a smokey eye in your life, your wedding is not the time!” — A (71:02)
• “There’s never again a time in your life where...all your friends, all your family are going to be there together just to celebrate you.” — A (71:57)
• “Fiction writing might be one of the most vulnerable things...to the vastness of the internet.” — B (85:42)
• “Your capacity [as a parent] will shift. I fully believe your capacity grows and you will amaze yourself.” — B (98:29)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [08:45] — The “Hope & Hard” segment: Feeling known in marriage, Roanoke mystery story
• [16:20] — Patreon Announcement and community focus
• [18:00] — Health updates and medical care commentary
• [43:23] — Wedding regret audience submissions begin
• [57:03] — Do’s & Don’ts for Guests and Couples
• [65:59] — Dance Floor Participation Pep Talk
• [80:24] — "No first look" hot take for brides
• [85:14] — Book Club Segment: "Just Friends" Review
• [96:17] — Voicemail Q&A

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Tone & Style

Warm, supportive, humorous, occasionally irreverent, and always relatable. The hosts blend practical wisdom (“Don’t overdo the makeup!”), emotional authenticity, and pop-culture savvy, while never taking themselves too seriously.

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Closing & Community

The episode closes with gratitude to listeners, encouragement to join Patreon, and an open invitation to participate further by calling the show. The authentic, banter-driven dynamic makes it great for longtime fans and new listeners alike—especially anyone in wedding season or who loves a good relationship heart-to-heart.

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For further details and extended hot takes, check out the full episode and the Patreon community launch!

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I wish Nikki loved me more than anyone in the entire world.

[A]

Who you wish for. Obsession is 96% fresh on rotten Tomatoes. I love you so, so, so, so much. It's blood soaked nightmare fuel. Brooke's bullet you put on her. You have been warned. Obsession. Rated R under 17. Animated without parent only theaters May 15th with special engagements in Dolby. We ate six cupcakes that night on our bed after.

[B]

You're a weirdo,

[C]

didn't we?

[A]

Together. We ate our cupcakes. Ew. E. If your thing is a smokey eye, do a smokey eye. If you've never done a smokey eye in your life, your wedding is not the time to do a smokey eye. You should definitely have a packed, stacked

[B]

registry with a multitude of price ranges.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Sometimes I open someone's register, I'm like, okay, this is all Crate and Barrel and I don't really know you that well.

[A]

Give climbing in.

[B]

Welcome back to Always here. We're your hosts, Abbey Howard and Abbey Howard. We are back. We never usually record on Fridays. No.

[A]

It feels a little weird.

[C]

It does feel weird. I'm like, guys, it's the end of the work week today.

[A]

Yeah. What are we doing? I don't know. What are we doing? You were at Disney.

[B]

Yeah, we were in Disney.

[A]

Yeah. I want to hear about it.

[B]

It was fun. We love Disney, so we're always gonna have a good time. It was chaotic because we switched hotels every night, which really sent us for a spiral.

[A]

Yeah. How was that?

[B]

Because the kids couldn't nap, so they were really tired. I started to feel really bad for them. I was like, this is supposed to be fun. And they were, like, exhausted, like, all right, buck up. They're not the kind of kids that nap on a stroller. They're not the kind of kids that show signs of getting tired other than, like, getting really wound up and then, like, falling off the cliff.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

So I felt sad. Like there was some. There were some tear. Teary moments.

[A]

Like you just felt guilty.

[B]

Well, I wasn't crying.

[A]

Oh. That's what it made it seem like, no.

[B]

The kids were crying, and so. And they're pretty resilient guys. I was like, we really pushed them too hard, but they had a really fun time. They hated leaving.

[A]

It was good.

[B]

It was the first time in public where strangers were like, when are you due?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So I was like, wow, I'm having a big bump. Because I feel like at 24 weeks, it's kind of early for strangers to, like, feel that confident. But it was usually men.

[A]

They're always confident.

[B]

They've always got the audacity.

[A]

If there's one thing men got is the audacity. I love that quote.

[B]

I like it, though. I like it so much. Especially after, like, having a loss. I'm like, I love that I am showing and that I. You feel very confident that I am pregnant. And so that was really sweet. And, yeah, like, I was, like, waiting for coffee, and this, like, older man, he's like, when are you due? I was like, you're so sweet.

[A]

I honestly love that.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

I'm like, ask me.

[B]

That's, like, a problem now because it's like, everyone's super cautious because, like, I know lo and behold, you could say it and someone's not.

[A]

That did happen to me the other day.

[B]

Oh, it's okay.

[A]

I wasn't offended.

[B]

Oh, it happened to you?

[A]

Yes. A lady goes, when do you do? And I. Well, I just had a baby seven months ago.

[B]

Abigail. What?

[A]

No, I didn't even. She was old. It's okay.

[C]

Where did this happen?

[A]

You were like, yeah, I know. No, I know. It just happens. But I wasn't upset about it. I was like, she's old. She's senile.

[B]

She's blind.

[A]

She actually probably can't see me. We were like, it's this far from each other.

[B]

You look so skinny. I don't even actually get that at all. I thought you were talking about you as somebody else. No.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Have you done that, though?

[A]

Probably. Honestly, I kind of like that.

[B]

No, I'm like, it's. We've gotten too careful now in a way where it's like, I. I even feel myself, but now I'm like, no, people want to talk about it.

[A]

Like, they. Yeah.

[B]

But anyway, it was sweet that, like, men were asking. I felt like I was like, yeah.

[A]

Validated.

[B]

Yeah. I was like, it is a lot of work. I kept pulling that car with Matt because he was like, I'm so tired. I was like, I'm so tired, and I'm 24 weeks.

[A]

I'm just gonna keep One up and.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I was like. I did it twice. And I was like, okay. I. I said it as a joke.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And he didn't laugh. So I was like. I was like. I was being sarcastic. I'm like, not complaining. I'm so happy.

[A]

Right. Do I need to run it back? No. I'm pregnant.

[B]

You had a business event.

[A]

We did, which was really fun. You guys were supposed to go. You played hooky. It's fine. I didn't tell anybody.

[B]

It was good.

[A]

We. We went to the Forbes 30 under 30 summit, which was cool to be invited to it. And some people traveled in for it, so. A lot of people traveled in. I was talking to Caleb. It's the first time. Well, Caleb was with me, so. Which was also fun because we just had the whole day together.

[B]

Wait, did Dave go?

[A]

I invited him, but he didn't. I don't.

[B]

Told me he was gonna go.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't see him there. I didn't check in though.

[B]

Dave is Val's husband.

[A]

Yeah, Val, Our weekly shout out.

[B]

Shout out. We not talked about Val nearly enough recently.

[A]

We need to bring her guys.

[C]

She was at the event. If you were there, might have seen her.

[A]

It's true. I'm actually going to her house tonight. I'll see you later, Val. I ever call her that.

[B]

Valley, Valley, Valley.

[A]

I'm going to call her that. It was really fun being in a business setting like that again. I just haven't done that since I had the clothing store and maybe since we even lived in Kansas City. It was just. It feels inspiring and motivating and it's fun to learn and hear from cool people. I didn't get the most out of it, to be honest. It was really geared towards founders startup vibes. But it's still interesting just to listen to these people, their stories and their interview questions. They had some cool speakers like Dwayne Wade, Michael Phelps, Ashley Graham. Yeah. And then amazing. Like some awesome people in the tech space too, so it's cool. Oh, the guy, he's a tick tocker. His name's Jack. He's a chef. He did like, he talked to creators. His. His talk was really cool. You've probably seen his stuff. But yeah, they had. I mean, it was like a lot of good speakers and stuff. It was fun. It was a full packed day. That's all I really have to say about it.

[B]

That's awesome. Did you think it was more so geared towards creators or what do you think?

[A]

No, it was more towards, I think

[B]

tech startup, but did you think it was for creators?

[A]

No, I didn't really know. I just thought it was, like, business people in business. And it was interesting. I. What I was going to say and then I lost my train of thought was that I was telling Caleb, it feels like I'm back in college at a sorority business school event. Because I hadn't been around that many people my age in, like, business casual dress in such a long time. I literally felt like I was back in college.

[B]

You're like, here we go.

[A]

I'm like, okay.

[C]

Career fair.

[A]

I never went to a career fair.

[B]

I was gonna say, neither did I.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. No, that was Addie's bread and butterfair.

[C]

And then I also was a recruiter, so I worked them all the time.

[A]

I know. I never went. I was like, I'm gonna be my own boss.

[C]

I did.

[A]

I know I would.

[B]

You gone to recruiter. I'm gonna be a mom.

[A]

And I'm the other way.

[C]

I'm like, I'll work for someone.

[B]

I went to science fairs.

[C]

Like.

[B]

Like, you would go to, like, stem? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Elementary school. Like, kids.

[A]

That's cute. So that was great. It was really fun to be there. Thank you, Forbes, for the invite. I was honored.

[B]

Yeah. That's really cool.

[A]

A husband. A man stopped me and introduced and said, my wife loves your podcast. And he recognized me from being on their TV at their house. I was like, that is so cool. I know, I know. So we got a picture. So shout out if that was your husband. He was lovely, and wish I got to meet you too, but it was really cool.

[B]

That's really cool.

[C]

That makes me think. I'm like, would Blake if I would say my, like, favorite influencers. They're not even influencers. Is chicks in the office. I'm like, if he saw them, would he stop and say hi for me?

[B]

That's so in my head, I'm like, that is like, that's just exactly my love language, though. Like, when someone knows, like, the details of your life. Like, I've heard before, like, couples, like, giving, like, their spouse, like, a syllabus of themselves, like, up to date. Like, these are the podcasts I like. These are the books I like. These are the shows I like. So then you guys, like, can know each other so well. I was like, I need to do that for Matt. But I do feel really known by Matt recently, actually. This was my. Wow, that's crazy. I'm jumping ahead, but we can go

[A]

back to Hope and hard.

[B]

You guys, this was so good last night. I am out of the shower.

[C]

I've been Texting this at 9:51pm in ALL CAPS. I. I have a. Wow, that's crazy.

[A]

It was from Matt Howard.

[B]

It was from Matt Howard. It's not. Something is niche. Okay, first of all, let me paint the picture, but don't think about it too graphically. I had just gotten out of the shower.

[A]

So let me paint the picture.

[B]

But don't paint it.

[A]

But don't paint it.

[B]

Getting out of the shower. I'm in a vulnerable state and I'm like, getting into the suitcase. And Matt goes, abby, you're never going to believe it. He's so enthusiastic. He was running up the stairs. He goes, they found out what happened to the lost colony of Roanoke. What? We just talked about this. I said, wait a minute, are you kidding? I am literally. I'm. I'm. I'm just beside myself. I'm like, what now? Colony? I said, this just happened. He's like, this. Suggest released his YouTube video explaining about it. And like, researchers are commenting like that. It was pretty accurate to, like, their findings. Anyway, I can tell you what happened.

[A]

Tell us.

[B]

Well, from what I understand, I still need to watch the whole video because, gosh, it was 10pm I got a lot of things.

[A]

How long was it?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Long enough.

[B]

Okay, from what I understand, this isn't science, but apparently they must have assimilated with an indigenous tribe around them because they studied, like some of the people's mitochondrias in their area and they found that they married in and started. They just assimilated what. Which I was like, what a beautiful ending to that. Literally, my brain was just a puzzle for context. You guys, we were talking about Roman empires a couple episodes ago. I was talking about how my Roman empire since second grade has been the lost colony of Roanoke. Which ever said I would just like, think about it. And I now I just feel like

[A]

there's puzzle pieces just like, oh, yeah, they're just. Oh, beautiful.

[B]

But I was still skeptical because I was like, I need a lot more evidence than that. But I'm gonna watch the whole video.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If it's enough for researchers, it should be enough for me. Sure. So you put that piece in that

[A]

puzzle, you mod podge it and hang it on your wall. Abby.

[B]

I told Matt, I said, you know, I just talked about this on the podcast a couple episodes ago. He goes, no. I said, you just knew that I. He goes, abby, you've talked about this all the time. He goes, in fact, I think you brought it up on one of our very first dates. You were like, yeah, whatever happened to those guys? I'm just trying to play it off

[A]

on one of our first dates.

[B]

Like, it's not something that really consumes my mind, like, oh, you know, the lost colony around.

[A]

I. Garrett, never.

[B]

What happened to those guys?

[A]

Whenever there's a long conversation with strangers, you go, so you heard of the lost colony of Roanoke?

[B]

He's like, abby, you talk about. He said, I remember you bringing this up on one of our very first dates. I was like, wow, this is.

[A]

This really has plagued you for a long time.

[B]

It's not been light for me. It's not been casual.

[A]

Don't let me.

[B]

Let me convince you that it's been casual but beautiful. It's beautiful. They assimilated What a great. Could they have all done that a little bit better?

[A]

Like, at least they didn't all die. That what they were thinking? Yeah, that was one of the theories.

[B]

There was a lot of illness that spread through those colonies. They didn't really know how germs worked.

[A]

Yeah, no, I, I. You know, we still struggle with.

[B]

I'm actually reading a book that takes place, like, in that time period right now, and the woman is a midwife. And I'm like, I was not meant

[A]

to have babies at that point. Wow. No, I think about it all the time. Definitely not you for sure would have not you.

[B]

Wouldn't have sauce.

[A]

Definitely not you.

[B]

Not you.

[A]

Wait, why? They would have gotten. They get stuck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You be walking around with a bent hip. Speaking of books, we have book club today. It's gonna be at the end of the episode, so don't click off if you're waiting for that, because it's the end of the month.

[B]

End of the month.

[A]

Do you have a new book for May?

[B]

I have a lot of books I've been wanting to read I could just throw out there.

[A]

Yeah, throw them out there. Someone left a comment and was like, can we rotate who picks books? I'm just gonna tell you. I'm never gonna pick the book.

[C]

I also.

[B]

Recommendations of what I should do. No, you guys pick. I'm always dominating.

[A]

No, I don't even know what books.

[B]

No, they're like, I just picks her.

[A]

I don't even know.

[B]

I've been really wanting to read the Correspondent. What is that about?

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

It's all letters. Like, letters between two people.

[C]

Oh, I would like that.

[A]

That's fun.

[B]

And it's a very popular book right now. I'M like, most people have probably already read it too. So if someone has, like, already read it, they could hop in too, and hear the discussion. I don't know. I was just throwing that out there.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

There was also something I was gonna bring up.

[C]

It's so easy. We're like, yeah, go through.

[B]

I feel like it would be fast paced with it just being letters. Yeah. I don't know.

[A]

Should we also, did you say you wanted to say one more thing about One more thing? No.

[B]

No. This was about Disney. I was really reminded about how deep in the boy world I am because we spent our whole time at the Avengers campus and Star wars and Cars Land and our friends that brought a girl were, like, doing the princess thing the whole time. I was like, we are deep in this. We are committed to.

[A]

Committed to the boy bit. Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, nothing really makes you realize the difference and, like, raising little boys and little girls with, like, typical little boy and little girl interests other than being in Disney, really. I was like, we never saw them. Like, they were doing completely other things. I was like, you go, she's wearing a princess dress. We're literally trying to keep our kids from killing strangers with their lightsabers.

[A]

Right? I'm like, they're going to Bibbidi Bobby Boutique. You are going to.

[B]

Their daughter stays with them. Our kids walk away. And she was so sweet. It was my friend Ashley. She was like, well, because they know that you're. You're always going to be there. I was like, thanks for taking that. That's kind. I was like, they really think they don't need us. They just will walk. They see something fun, they own it.

[C]

They're like, I know where I'm going.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're like, this is actually. And they'll talk to anyone. They'll be like, hey, can I get on this? Am I tall enough? Like, they will, like, talk to random people all the time. I'm like, perfect. What am I here for?

[A]

Could have pulled that bear and sneakers.

[B]

They're very independent. But I was like, wow. I'm so reminded of the boy world that goes. He goes, wow. This is like. He's like, we are so deep in this. He's like, do you ever, like, think about, like, how it'd be so different? I was like, I can't even fathom. Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique. I can't fathom it.

[A]

I don't think she'd go, honestly, she'd be outnumbered.

[B]

If we have a girl, then everything's gonna stop for them.

[A]

Oh, turn down. You're like boys. You've had your time.

[C]

You've had your time. If we did a family trip, we'd have to.

[A]

What up? Yeah, we would.

[B]

Like, what would we do?

[A]

What would we do?

[B]

Oh, gosh. They gotta find some comic books.

[C]

No, they can go to Bippity Boppity Boutique and become princes.

[B]

I'm pretty sure. Okay.

[C]

They can get a little.

[B]

I know they'd be wanting some glitter.

[A]

I'll give you, like, shimmer, please. They both would.

[B]

I feel like they would both be so into it.

[A]

They'd be into it. I don't really have anything else to share for hope and a heart.

[B]

Oh, I actually have a good hope.

[A]

Okay, well, let's do our announcement, and then we'll go to Open Heart.

[B]

What's our announcement?

[A]

Patreon. Sorry, we're doing a Patreon.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

That is.

[A]

Yeah, that's how all of our big announcements are going to come. In song. Yeah, we're launching a Patreon this coming month. Yeah. We've been trying to figure out where we want to move this platform and have a really, like, interactive place where we can chat with you guys a little bit more. So personally, because it's kind of hard in the comment section and, like, I don't know, sometimes the book club segment feels a little long on here. I don't know. Just we're trying to figure it out, and we want to deepen our community with you guys. So we've had a lot of fun things planned for this Patreon. We're really, really excited about it. There's going to be a free monthly newsletter that I'm currently writing. It's not AI, it's me. So just know that there will be a lot of. A lot of grammar mistakes there. But I'm excited about it.

[B]

I'm really excited. I feel like this. We've been talking a lot about, like, what's next? Like, where do we move from here? And this feels so aligned with, like, all of our goals from the very beginning as, like, in a sense of, like, going deeper with our audience, not necessarily wider. We would love to welcome more people to our audience. Of course.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

But our focus has always been to grow deeper, and so I feel like this is, like, a really cool way to do that. You want to say everything that's offered.

[A]

Yes. So we're going to have the free newsletter that's open to everybody and anybody, and then we're going to have our exclusive page that is going to be. It's $5 a month. And we're going to have the book club over there. We're going to have book club chats. So it's going to be way more interactive. Like we said, we're going to have extended bonus content on every episode, which is really fun. We're going to have different chats for always hungry. Recipes, video footage. I mean, we're just going to really deck it out.

[B]

Make it worth your time.

[A]

We are going to make it.

[B]

I also feel like a lot of the things that we might end up trimming from these episodes for any reason under the sun, we'll probably find it under there, too, and that'll be fun. People that get it will get it.

[A]

Yep. We're gonna do bonus, like, we're gonna make the podcast or the book club segment a whole extra episode on Patreon, which would be fun. So I don't know. I just.

[B]

It's gonna be. I'm just really excited for it to be excited about. No pressure, obviously. But for those of you that have wanted more, this feels like a really accessible way to, like, make it accessible for those that want more. And those are like this plenty right here.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

Stay right here. But definitely check out the newsletter.

[A]

Yes. I'm so excited. Yeah, I know. Our main episodes are our main thing, baby. We're keeping these amazing, but we're also gonna have extra amazing stuff over there, so. Yeah, that's exciting. And we'll have more information on that in the description box.

[B]

So the next book club will be there.

[A]

Yes. And it's the book the Commuter. What is it?

[B]

The correspondence.

[A]

The correspondence.

[B]

The COVID has, like, two birds on it.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

I feel weird because I feel like now I'm nervous because I have different taste in books than you guys.

[A]

Listen, I'm gonna read what I'm told to read.

[B]

Have to read it. Homework is stupid.

[C]

Yeah, we've been pretty good so far.

[B]

Okay, good, good, good, good. That's good. I mean, I haven't read it, so I can't yell. Any of the books that I have read, I have not read. I also don't like knowing much about a book before reading it.

[A]

It's okay if the books don't align with our values. It's okay.

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

Something could happen. There's everything. There are going to be things.

[B]

Something could happen.

[A]

We're just gonna read it. It's fine.

[B]

We're just gonna read it. It's for entertainment.

[A]

It's fine. Okay. We have hope in a heart.

[B]

My hope was that I had a doctor's appointment this morning and I'm officially graduated from the maternal fetal medicine.

[A]

Doctor.

[B]

Oh my gosh. You didn't say that.

[A]

I'm so excited.

[B]

Thank goodness. Woohoo. Yeah. For the biggest reason that I'm excited to be graduated from that is obviously because the baby looks. There's no more reason for concern. Concern. They did like a really long. They did an echocardiogram today and there was really no. They even asked me. They're like, why are they having to do this? I was like, really? It's all just because we have some unknowns with a late term loss. And they were like, okay, because everything like, looks fine. So I was like, that's great. The other thing that's good about that is that that appointment cost $902. Every time I go, it's about that much.

[A]

Yeah, they love to charge.

[B]

It's so insane. And that just honestly makes me so, so sad because like, I'm like, medical care should not cost that much. Like, that is insane.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I'm so glad that they have like. Like, I was also thinking about this. They were looking at this tiny baby that's not even two pounds, the veins going into his lungs. They're looking at the veins that are like paper thin. And I'm like, it is amazing that they can do this at Dr. United and they have this technology, but gosh, it feels like it should be a little bit more accessible than that. And I'm so grateful that that's not like a huge concern. But it does make me really sad for other parents are like, this simply would not be an option. Like, because it's just. That's what I had to pay just to walk in the office.

[A]

I know.

[B]

$902.

[A]

I know. I had that with. Cause CJ was high risk and he had some things when I was growing him in my belly that they had concerned about. And so then with Vivian, they automatically wanted me to go to the mfm. And I went in and they're like, that's gonna be $600 out of pocket every time. Every time. And I was like, hey, you know what, I actually can't afford that right now. And I kind of had to go back and forth with my main doctor because they're like, well, we don't want to see you because of these concerns. We want you to go there. So I was like, hey, I'm not doing it. Like, I just can't. And if you tell me there's a problem, I'M gonna go. But just for, like, preventative. It was like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was just scary to think that because we weren't prepared, we hadn't budgeted that, that we were a little nervous for that.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah, it is. It's hard if it's not accessible at the time, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, what an exciting hope.

[B]

And also, this baby, this has never happened to me before, is measuring to the day.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So he is exactly 50%, which I'm like, this is a great possibility now for a potential VBAC, because also, the placenta is now, like, almost 4 centimeters away, so it's not even a concern anymore that they're following up on.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So I'm like, I never thought that I'd actually be a candidate, but now I am a candidate, potentially, so it would be cool.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

But I didn't even know you were thinking. I, like, asked the doctor. I was like, what's the odds of the baby, like, just jumping up? And they're like, we wouldn't. Anything normal would be maximum 15%, like, percentile jump, which are, like, 65 even. Feel so small.

[A]

Yeah, totally. You're like, we were talking 99. Yeah.

[B]

Like, I was like, no, they were both, like, 90. And so I was like. Or Auggie was. And so I was like, well, this is great. And they're like, the only reason it would jump is if, like, there was something wrong. Yeah. So I was like, well, we've done a lot of tests, so we're just going to buckle down and hope for the best. But, yeah, so I was, like, surprising, but I was, like, very glad. I was like, I've never experienced 50 percentile.

[A]

Yeah. Wow. Feels so great, but a different world. So tiny little boy. Yeah. Well, that's so exciting, Abby. Wow. A lot of big things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Those are great hopes. Well, my hope is May. I'm excited for May. I love the month of May.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And we're. Is this in May when this is Posted?

[C]

Yeah, it's May 1st.

[A]

This is a great month. This is my hope and my heart actually, is that May is a overwhelmingly packed month. And I know you feel the same way. Like, it's going to be a lot, so that's a little bit hard. But there's so many fun things happening in May. I'm not going to list them off right now because you'll hear them throughout the next couple of weeks. But I'm very excited to be in this month.

[B]

My heart is. I'm emotionally drained because I did another podcast this morning, and I cried my eyes out. So I'm like, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was a grief podcast, so.

[A]

Oh, you were a guest on it?

[B]

Yeah, I was a guest on it. And I'm just like, well, good. How does she do that as her whole podcast every day? Whenever we've had guests that have hard stories too, I'm drained for them too. So I'm like, how is this what you do every week?

[A]

She must just become numb to it,

[B]

you know, she was crying with me.

[A]

Oh, that's sweet.

[B]

So that's why I look like I've been crying, is because I have.

[A]

Oh, I didn't think you'd look like it.

[B]

Oh, I did touch up my makeup, but it was bad. Matt walked in, he goes, oh. Because he knew that I. He was like, this is. He knew it was gonna be hard, but, yeah. So nothing to be concerned about. Nothing's actually currently wrong. I just am drained.

[A]

Well, it'll be a blessing to others.

[B]

I also don't hide how I'm feeling emotionally very well. Like, I always concerned. Like, it concerns her in laws a lot. If I don't feel like talking, I don't talk. It's just a common theme that I have.

[A]

Does freak people out.

[B]

It does freak people out. That's a weird thing about me. I'm, like, not trying to be rude. Like, does it come across as rude?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I'm used to it.

[C]

Okay. I'm not gonna bother her right now. I can tell.

[A]

Yeah. I'm just so used to it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Such a mess.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

I don't, like, really put it on very well. Like, if I'm, like, tired or, like, I'm just not feeling social, I just don't participate.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I'm like, I hope I didn't make other people uncomfortable. I just didn't want to talk.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

So I didn't talk?

[A]

No, I think it's fine.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Sometimes I announce. I'm like, sorry, I'm tired. I'm just not gonna talk.

[B]

Just so everyone knows everything's fine. I just actually just don't feel like opening my mouth. Shocker. Cause it's usually open.

[A]

I know. That's why it's always so jarring.

[B]

It's like, what's wrong? What's this silence?

[A]

And then all of a sudden, like,

[B]

they always think I have a headache or something, and I'm like, physically feel fine. Emotionally, I'm actually fine too. I just chose not to talk.

[A]

Yeah, it's good. It's good. No, no. You're not rude. No.

[B]

But I am going to talk on this because this is a podcast.

[A]

The minute we. Minute we stop, she going, shut up.

[B]

I just shut up. Walk away.

[A]

Just kidding.

[B]

I'm excited to talk with you guys.

[A]

Yeah, we are excited. Let's jump into our top. Oh, wait. You know, while it's crazy she did

[C]

hers, we don't have to do what you want to. You want to.

[B]

Well, what is.

[A]

Addy had a fun idea we've been talking about. We're moving some of this over to Patreon, so it's okay. We're gonna.

[C]

This is your last long episode, though.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you to Cash App for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Abigail, what is one money lesson you wish you would have learned earlier?

[A]

I wish I would have learned how to budget my money because Caleb and I had a hard conversation right when we got married and yeah, it was a little bit of a root awakening.

[B]

I'm glad that you were able to figure it out. I feel like us and budgets too have always had contention for all the parents out there with teenagers. We know you're already trying to have a lot of those money conversations and how to keep a million different things under control. Cash App is here, and they help make sure your teen's money and their spending isn't adding to all of that craziness.

[A]

Cash App is designed to meet teens age 13 to 17 where they are with intuitive educational tools available through sponsorship by an eligible parent or guardian. And teens gain access to a personalized Cash App card that comes in different colors and patterns to fit their style, and the ability to instantly access money from family and friends.

[B]

Cash App makes managing money feel easier and honestly, just cooler than other options out there. The platform also has tools that can help teens develop real world financial habits in a space that's safe and easy to navigate, all with your oversight and approval.

[A]

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and for a limited time. New Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use code Family10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member FDIC Direct deposit and promotions provided by Cash App blocking brand. Visit Cash app LegalPodcast for full disclosures. Wow, that's crazy.

[A]

Wow, that's crazy.

[B]

That's crazy.

[C]

Hulu just had their Get Real event and they announced a lot of reality TV shows, which you guys know. This is my favorite.

[A]

This is Addy's.

[B]

Addy loves.

[A]

She does. It's good. We need.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

You keep us rolling.

[C]

Well, we have to talk about the first one, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Orange County.

[A]

I don't know if I'm gonna watch.

[C]

Oh, I will be watching.

[A]

I watch the first episode with you. Addy.

[B]

What's the consensus in the reality TV environment? I only knew about this because you guys texted me.

[A]

Yeah, Hello.

[C]

As soon as I sent it, I said, ah. Should have saved this for a while to announce it to you. I feel like the consensus right now is they're not Mormon.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And they weren't a friend group before the show, like Secret Lives and Mormon Lives. This should just have been its own spin off of, like, Secret Lives of Young Wives or TikTok Wives or Influencer Wives. Something in that world.

[B]

A rebrand would have been better.

[A]

Yeah, I think it. Yeah, I think so.

[B]

So they probably hoped for that as well.

[A]

Probably.

[B]

They're like, I'm not morbid.

[A]

Yeah. They're like, well, this is confusing.

[C]

And some of them. A lot of them not wives.

[A]

That's true, too. A lot of them are divorced.

[C]

Aspen Ova is not a wife. Bobby Altoff is not a wife. I think the rest of them may be wives, but those two for sure.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So a title change.

[C]

A title change would have been good. I think a lot of people are gonna. It seems like an interesting mix of cast.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Mates.

[A]

It will be.

[C]

And did you know Macy's? Macy from Secret Lives and Mormon Wives? Her sister is on the Orange County.

[A]

No. Which one's her sister?

[C]

The one who looks just like her.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Look at the pictures and you'll be like, oh, that's me. Well, that's cool. Yeah. So her sister is on that one.

[A]

She is Mormon, so.

[C]

Yes. So I think there are a couple Mormons.

[B]

I know Madison is.

[C]

Did you guys know about Dancing with the Stars, the next pro spinoff?

[A]

That's that.

[B]

My mom told me about that.

[C]

So it's a new show hosted by Robert Irwin.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. These people all.

[B]

Get your bag.

[C]

This is so exciting. And they're picking who is going to be a competition series to see who's the next prince pro on Dance with the Stars and the next season of

[A]

Dance with the Stars. That's a good concept because a competition

[B]

amongst the stars now. And so there's already enough. But I feel like I would be more apt to honestly watch a competition show of like, to get like. I like that concept a lot. And obviously everyone loves Robert.

[C]

Yes. I think it's gonna be great. I think a lot of people, like, if you're in the dance world, you kind of know that so youo Think youk Can Dance does have, like, a walkway into Dancing with the Stars. A lot of the people on there have been on so youo Think youk Can Dance. So I think this is an interesting, like, step in between to, like, vet people out.

[B]

So wait, they're picking the stars or the dancers?

[A]

The dancers like the pros.

[C]

A lot of them have been on so youo Think youk Can Dance before they became pros on the show. Like Jenna and Whitney, those girls. But Mark Ballas mom is gonna be one of the judges on there, and she's, like, very well known she in the dance industry. She does say you think you can dance in another country.

[A]

Oh, cool. Or that's kind of strictly.

[B]

But isn't it like, they're staying in a house? It's also like a real.

[C]

I don't. I didn't.

[B]

Oh, that's what my mom said. She said it was like Big Brother style.

[C]

Oh, that'd be cool.

[B]

Like staying in a house.

[C]

I didn't watch the video.

[B]

My mom is not necessarily of one to.

[C]

I feel like she has.

[A]

Probably knows the dancing. Probably.

[B]

I like it too, because it's. It feels separate from Dancing with the Stars. Like, it's not just a dance, not just a show. Like, you're kind of seeing them, how they interact.

[A]

Well, I also like that because I feel like a lot of people love the pros and you like their personalities and stuff. So you get to know their personalities before. That's a great concept. Yeah.

[C]

And people like, you know, as they've introduced new pros, people have had their opinions of, like, Riley being Able to just become a pro or Ezra just becoming a pro versus these. You're watching them win a competition and then they get to be a pro. I think it's a good. A good format that is good for them. So.

[A]

Wow, that's cool. So will that come on air in between seasons of Dancing with the Stars?

[C]

It's before the four dances.

[A]

Oh. And then you'll get to watch them on Dancing with the. Did they announce the Dancing with the Stars cast?

[C]

There are two that they announced. It is in a house, by the way. I'm really excited they are going to be together. Dancing with the Stars. They've announced two. Maura Higgins. Do you know who that is?

[A]

I don't think so.

[C]

She was on Love Island. She's like a very well known Love Island UK girl. And then she's hosted Love island and she was just on the last season of Traders. She was the second. She lost to Rob, who was the winner. And she got a Birkin out of it.

[B]

So.

[C]

Whoa, A Birkin bag for. She was like, if you're lying to me, you have to buy me a Birkin. And he did.

[A]

Oh, well, we love a man of the word.

[C]

Yeah. So with the money that he won.

[B]

So more like Birkin be like, I

[A]

will lie and give you a Birkin.

[B]

How much are these bags?

[C]

They are expensive.

[B]

They are expensive. How much are they?

[A]

You can't just buy a Birkin. No.

[C]

You also cannot just buy a Birkin. You have to be invited something smaller for like you have to work your way up to being able to buy.

[A]

You have to work up your reputation with Hermes to get. Be invited to buy a Birkin.

[B]

That's so dumb.

[A]

The funny thing, I love it. I love watching these. These girlies on TikTok.

[C]

I learned all of that from this situation.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Because he got helped by Lisa Rinna to be able to go. Lisa Rena is a housewife.

[A]

She helped him buy the Birkin.

[C]

Yeah. Because he obviously didn't have a reputation with then.

[A]

Yeah, I. That's. That's the side of tick tock I'm on. I'm on like Hermes shopping hall trying to get my Birkin. No, I will never be that gal. But I love watching other people.

[C]

It's like you can't buy. Is it a Rolex or there's like a certain watch that you can't buy. Like you can't buy that brand. You have to like work your way up to be able to buy.

[A]

I don't think it's Rolex, but I know A different.

[C]

One of the different types of brands. And then Sierra Miller, you probably don't

[A]

know who that is.

[C]

She's from Summer House. Long story short, she was dating a guy. They broke up, but she still really likes him. In this show, her best friend, her name's Amanda, she was married, they just got a divorce. And Amanda is Sierra's best friend. And Sierra tells Amanda all about what's happening with her and the guy she was dating, which is West. Amanda is now dating West. Big deal.

[B]

In the reality TV world, I got real.

[A]

I know. I also got lost. But I'm sure other people know what you're talking about.

[C]

Yeah, people, if you're in the reality TV world.

[B]

Wait, her friends are dating her. Her ex husband.

[C]

No, other way around.

[A]

So her ex husband started dating her friend.

[B]

This how rumors get started.

[C]

Her friend started dating her ex boyfriend. Basically as soon as she got divorced, she started dating her friend's boyfriend, which. Or her friend's ex, which she is like, still has feelings for. And she knows that very well. Yeah.

[B]

As soon. Yeah. Just pull out that there's plenty of fish in the sea.

[C]

So my guess is Sarah wouldn't have made it on Dancing with the Stars if this hadn't happened to her.

[B]

So she's on Dancing with the Stars now.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The girl that got her heart broken.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, we love. We love a comeback.

[C]

So I don't think she would have been on Dancing for the Stars if this hadn't happened.

[A]

Oh, hey, no press.

[B]

Bad press. Okay.

[A]

I just say at least she gets to be on Dancing with the Stars.

[C]

And then the only other one that I feel like you guys might care about a little bit is Project Runway is back.

[A]

I loved. Oh, come on, give it to me. What's the name?

[B]

What's the name?

[C]

Season 22, Hile Klum returns to hosts. It'll feature 22 Designers, the most in show's history. It premieres on July 9th on Hulu Disney and Freeform with two episode season premiere.

[A]

22 Designers feels like a lot. Sometimes more is not better. I don't know. That seems a little like a lot of contestants.

[C]

It does.

[B]

What's typical for the show?

[A]

Like 15 maybe.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

I don't know. That's a good question. I used to sit on my parents. I have vivid memories just brain rotting. Watching full seasons of Project One Way all day long on like a weekend and just being glued to the tv.

[C]

Sixteen Typical.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

For them to start with. So that's going to be a lot. But Dancing with the Star is The Next Pro that airs on July 13th.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Fun. I would watch the next pro.

[C]

Did you know there's a Dance with Stars Khan, Like a conference?

[A]

No, the dance world is very intense, you guys. Like, from a young age when you hear these, like, many famous dancers, like

[B]

the dance competition world.

[A]

Dance competition world is extreme. Yeah. It's like its own little Dancing with the Stars.

[B]

Well, I feel like ballroom's totally separate.

[C]

Oh, it is a whole separate world.

[B]

And, like, dance mom, like, solo. Yeah.

[C]

Like in, like, group competition versus that. But the dancer of the stars con is, like, for fans to come and, like, all the pros will be. There'll be different panels, different things.

[B]

They're really thriving.

[A]

Can I just throw something a hot. Something kind of a hot. This is a hot topic.

[B]

Throw something a hot out.

[A]

You know, everyone, like, obviously Frankie, Taylor, Frankie Paul got in trouble, you know?

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

Why is Dakota on Alex Cooper's unwell game show? Why is she canceled and he not also canceled?

[C]

Can I add another take on top of that?

[B]

There's another.

[C]

I think this out. This Alex Earl thing. She's trying to take the heat off of that and be like, oh, like she. Because she's never addressed having Dakota. That's weird. They both have criminal backgrounds.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

On this. On their show.

[B]

You know, Dakota.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Alex Cooper is having an unwell game show. What is it like? What's unwell? Unwell. Her network.

[B]

No, her podcast is Call her daddy.

[A]

No, she has the unwell network. So she has podcast. She's basically creating a media company.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Brilliant. Okay. She's having an unwell game show called Unwell Winter Games, and she has all these contestants. She's had many of the secret lives and Mormon wives girls on her show. Taylor, Frankie Paul included. Jesse. And obviously with all this stuff going on with Taylor, Frankie Paul and Dakota and their fight and her getting arrested and them having, like, domestic violence between them. She put Dakota on her Winter Games. Can I just publicly say that's so wrong. Like, that's wrong. I think that's wrong her.

[C]

If Taylor, Frankie Paul's season of the Bachelorette is getting canceled, why is he

[A]

now being put on a pedestal and being put on this unwell Games? I think that's wrong.

[C]

I agree. And I think I haven't heard the general public also agrees with you.

[A]

Oh, people are talking about that.

[C]

People are very much talking about it. So.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You just might not be on that side. I got you people.

[A]

Not a hot take then. Good. Okay, good, good. I'M glad you're on the top.

[C]

Well, here's the other thing, Taylor. Frankie Paul was also supposed to be on Dance with the Stars. Like, there was a whole. There was a whole episode in the Bachelorette about, like, leading up to that announcement.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

So now she's not.

[A]

All right, we should.

[C]

That is my pop culture segment.

[B]

I can't even get through Love on the Spectrum, season four.

[A]

No, you have to finish it. It was beautiful.

[B]

No, I'm trying. I'm really trying. I'm on my way.

[A]

Me and Caleb almost had tears in his eyes. It was beautiful.

[B]

It's the sweetest show that exists.

[A]

It does. It does.

[B]

I love it so much.

[A]

That is reality tv, baby. That's reality tv. Making Stand behind.

[B]

That's the only one I'm gonna care about. I honestly don't even watch any of those, but I would love to hear what you guys think about them. Thank you to Merit Beauty for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. If your makeup routine takes longer than roughly five minutes, it's simply.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

yeah, I mean, I think it's fun to talk about reality tv. Even though I don't watch a lot

[B]

of it, I still like to know. You watch Mormon wives. You watched, you know, the Kardashians.

[A]

Yes, I do.

[B]

You know, some.

[A]

That's true. Yeah. I'm not fully out of the.

[B]

I'm. I feel like I'm pretty out. But I do love love on the spectrum and I love that there's. I just. I'm so. I'll talk about it forever. I love that their family, their siblings are so sweet to them and their parents seem like awesome people, and I'm just so happy for them.

[A]

Caleb's getting served a lot of love on the spectrum reels and tick tocks and he keeps saying them to me and I'm like, the fact that you're getting served all this, like, love on the spectrum content is amazing.

[B]

We love this green flag.

[A]

It's such a green flag. He's like, this is so sweet. Did you see this? Look at this, look at this. Well, we're talking today about weddings, do's and don'ts. It's May, it's the spring. It is wedding. Wedding season is in full effect, which is such a fun season.

[B]

I have a little sadness around weddings. Not sadness. I love weddings. I'm so excited. I shouldn't say sadness. I feel a little FOMO sometimes because I got married really young. Then I moved to an island.

[A]

The island of Hawaii? No, literally an island Hawaii.

[B]

Literally moved to Hawaii. And then all my friends started getting married, and I became friends with only married people. So there's a whole season where I didn't. I missed all the weddings.

[A]

That is a bummer. There was one year Caleb and I went to, I think maybe 14 weddings one year. It made me feel fun.

[B]

It made me feel sad. And then when some of my other friends started getting married, my own brother got married. I was popping out babies.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Couldn't go to them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we had. So I was like, gosh dang it.

[A]

Well, here's the circle of life. It'll come back around with our sons.

[B]

There we go. Gotta wait for the next batch.

[C]

I guess I feel the same way. The year that we moved here, all of our friends got married, and we're like, I can't go to all of them. So we went for one week. We caught a Wedding at the beginning on that weekend before and a wedding at the end. And then we're like catch two nights before we are. We're gonna miss this summer.

[B]

I'm so sad about missing all those.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Such a bummer. I mean, I was supposed to be in a couple.

[A]

Yeah, valid. That's valid.

[B]

Well, bad friend.

[A]

Even though you missed a lot of weddings, we've obviously had our own wedding and we have been to a lot of weddings and so we're gonna do bride and groom wedding do's and don'ts and guest do's and don'ts.

[B]

Yes, I'm a little. Please take mine with a grain of salt, everyone. They're not just for fun. Why would you even value my opinion on weddings? Please don't. If you did some of these that I said don't. Hey, no big deal. No, literally, it's really not that big deal. But it's just fun.

[A]

It's been so fun. We also got married seven years ago.

[B]

Girly.

[C]

I know.

[B]

It's completely changed. We are aged.

[A]

We did ask you guys, should we do ours first and then the audience.

[C]

I was thinking in the audience.

[B]

Yeah, do the audience first.

[A]

Okay. We asked you what your guys wedding regrets are cuz we thought those would be really entertaining and you guys came through with some good.

[B]

So many responses. Okay, so should we just tear through these?

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[B]

Oh my gosh. The first one is off to a bad start.

[A]

She said wedding regret.

[B]

Inviting my father in law.

[A]

I'm sorry. Off the list. There's no context to that, but I can assume it was no good.

[B]

Maybe it was a bad idea.

[A]

Maybe it was a bad idea. I'm taking your word for it. The next one. She said 1,000 out of 10 loved our wedding. But not having a day of coordinator was a bad move for this type A girl.

[C]

I completely agree. Completely agree. Have a wedding planner.

[A]

Yeah. Type A and type B. Type A, get your coordinator so that you don't have to worry. And type B. Get it. So that your day actually happens.

[B]

Did you have one?

[A]

Oh, of course.

[B]

This is so bad. I don't even know if I had one. I think I did.

[C]

You. I feel like you wasn't your aunt. I was not there. I feel like you. Someone has a venue.

[B]

It was your aunt.

[C]

Oh, did she do it?

[B]

I think so. She did do it. She was your aunt. It was my aunt.

[C]

She helped me. Your aunt helped me with a bunch of stuff because I had a day of coronary. But I didn't have A planner beforehand. So I did all the planning and then I had the day of coordinator that just like did it, which was my friend. So your aunt helped me write all the stuff out that I needed to have.

[B]

My aunt is a wedding planner?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I just remember I never felt more stupid in my life because I showed up to her house to like, talk about my expectations for the wedding, and she's like asking me all these questions. I was like, oh, whatever you think is best.

[A]

These are good thoughts.

[B]

I didn't think about that, honestly. And then I didn't have an answer for, like, any of them. I didn't even know what those categories were.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

She said so. People really took care of me. I'm so blessed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Same Ann Marie says also getting a dress. I had to diet slash workout to fit in. I loved the dress, but was uncomfy all day. That is so had.

[A]

That is hard. That'd be hard.

[B]

Got to be comfortable.

[A]

That's a good think about that. That's good advice. I regret not taking leftover cake home. I didn't even eat it because I was so nervous. We also didn't have time to eat cake at our wedding. And we did cupcakes. And this was really sweet. Our mom or our day of coordinator put a bunch of them in a box and we brought them to the. We were supposed to save them for the year. We ate six cupcakes that night on our bed after.

[B]

You're a weirdo. I hate that. I didn't mean to go there.

[A]

It's just inevitable after, you know, so not necessary.

[B]

Anyway. Did you say that I missed that part? I mean, it just kind of kept going and going.

[A]

Well, we ate our cupcake.

[B]

Ew.

[A]

Ew. I don't want to know the context.

[B]

No, we ate them normal just after, you know.

[A]

And then we stayed up and ate them.

[B]

We saved the top of our cake and froze it and ate it for our first wedding anniversary.

[A]

It was big bags. Never gonna do it.

[C]

We didn't want it. Good.

[B]

I'm gonna eat all that is still good. They saved it at the wedding venue for. For us. And they had a dinner for us at our one year wedding anniversary. It's really beautiful. I did not eat cake at the wedding either. I don't think I really ate much of anything. I was just partying. Sorry. Not weird, but.

[A]

Or not gross, but yeah, it was unnecessary. Laura said wearing heels. I was so scared I was gonna fall walking down the aisle.

[B]

Kind of gotta wear heels though, I feel like.

[A]

Yeah, well, I. My Dress was really long. I had to wear heels or I was gonna trip. Did you wear heels?

[B]

Yep. Yeah, Little tiny ones. Like one inch.

[A]

You know, mine were big and I did. My feet did hurt, but I also had pain is game.

[B]

So mine were from Amazon. They were literally like 19.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

No one saw them.

[A]

Yeah, they don't.

[B]

Laurel says drank a little too much. Nothing bad, but wish I was more present.

[A]

That's a good show. Yeah, it's good show. Trinity said I regret not doing a courthouse wedding and a longer honeymoon. Oh, a long honeymoon is the play. Caleb and ice was two weeks. It was the best time of my life.

[B]

Kelly says not hiring a professional videographer. Had a phone on tripod. Not the same.

[A]

Oh, we talked about this. Yeah.

[C]

I should ask who recorded your brother in law. Your guys brother Josh recorded it for you guys. I don't have that video.

[B]

He said he recorded your wedding.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's sweet. He probably still has it.

[B]

I've seen it.

[A]

That's something that our in laws are so good about. They're so good about taking. Taking videos and photos in the moment

[B]

and knowing how to access them later on. Yes.

[A]

Because they. They filmed our ceremony too. Because we didn't have a videographer or anything. And I'm so glad that we have the ceremony recorded.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I was like, we have no video footage of the day. And I. I'm just glad we have that. At least the main part. That's, you know, pictures capture the rest. But the ceremony is beautiful and important. Isaiah said not eloping like I wanted to. We compromised on a micro wedding. It's kind of cool. I've never heard of a micro wedding. I'm sure it's beautiful.

[B]

Someone said a strapless dress. I dropped ten pounds after my last fitting and my dress wouldn't stay up. Whoa. You know what I always say? I was never gonna get a strapless dress and I had a strapless dress.

[C]

How did that work? Did it stay up?

[B]

Pretty good. I was very.

[A]

They tightened that thing.

[B]

It was honestly just the neckline was the most flattering for me. It was really, at that time, but I didn't think I would ever want one. Also, my wedding dress was. It was in the basement of this bridal shop. So I wasn't like. I was like necessarily picking from like my dress. It was just that one. That one was on clearance.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I got it and it was $200.

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[B]

But they did. It was like. I think it was like three or four sizes too big. So then they Just took it all down and then they made it the right height and everything.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah, there's a little belt to it. It was so. But yeah, I never thought I'd get a strapless dress, but I was like, well, this one's the one. I have a really. I am. This is something. I have noticed a pattern. The first thing I try on I really like. So my ring, my dress and my husband.

[A]

Yeah, they're the first good decision making.

[B]

They're the first I ever had. And I was like, great.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

It's amazing.

[A]

You know what you like, you know what you like.

[B]

Very decisive.

[A]

Uh oh, we got another one. Grace said, I regret marrying my husband. Oh no, Grace, Grace, I'm sorry, girl. I don't know where to go.

[B]

I need more.

[A]

Sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't regret it.

[B]

Not still married.

[A]

You just learn from it and move on. Right.

[B]

Unless you're still married.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. That's why I was like, I need a little more context.

[B]

Kaylee says we left early and didn't party. We also waited for marriage though, so.

[A]

So you partied. Just different.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

I like a lot and got it on one day.

[C]

Definitely party. You're gonna get to do the rest of the stuff. Your whole marriage.

[A]

Yeah. Enjoy your wedding.

[C]

Enjoy your wedding.

[A]

Oh, what were you saying?

[B]

Leave at 9. That's plenty late at night. Yeah, I actually think I left my wedding at night.

[C]

I think mine ended at night.

[A]

You guys stayed the whole time because you had fireworks.

[B]

We stayed till the end, but the end was at 9. Whereas like some weddings I've been to, I feel like they were like 10 usually or way later.

[C]

You know, my wedding started at like 4:30, so mine was like early. So we ended at like 9 or 9:30.

[A]

Mine started kind of late cause it was a Friday. I didn't get photos with the grandparents individually and I did photos with them together. Yeah. That would write out your photos list before so that you have it all thought through and check it twice.

[B]

Have a vocal photographer too. Because that is the hardest thing is organizing everyone. And you don't want to be the one as the bride being like, hey, you're in this, you're not in this. Like I appreciated that our photo, our photographer was more like like soft spoken. But she had someone with her that was like collecting everyone.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So that was nice.

[A]

That is nice. I mean I'm a fan of a megaphone. I know it's a little tacky maybe, but megaphone.

[B]

This One says not getting a tan before.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta. It's. I mean, you're wearing fans, you're wearing white. Stacy said not paying more for a better hair and makeup stylist. Don't like my wedding picture, sadly.

[B]

Oh, that's a common regret. I feel like.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good, good advice.

[B]

Not. My mom even talked about her hair, makeup still from her wedding. I feel like she's like, it was the style. I'm like, yeah, the 90s. Anything goes, man. This one says not being more assertive in what I wanted and trying to make everyone happy.

[A]

I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that. I didn't really have, like, a strong vision for my wedding day.

[B]

Me neither. I just want to get married.

[A]

I mean, I kind of did, but I was just like, hey, here's my inspo pictures. You know, go do your job.

[B]

I was too young. I hadn't been to other weddings. I literally. I had no opinions.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like I knew, like, visually what I wanted, but I didn't really care how it was executed. Like, I was like, this is the inspo, and I'm hiring you to do it. So I'm gonna trust you to do your job. And if it doesn't turn out, it's okay. Yeah, that's kind of my attitude. Mallory said, I just got married in January. I regret not going. I regret not going around to my guest tables to say hi to everyone. That's really sweet.

[B]

I will say, think ahead how you want to address everyone in a way that's, like, efficient, but then you still feel like you get to see. See everyone. Yeah, we saw, like, we saw everyone. We dismissed everyone from the ceremony, so we got to see everyone. Like, as they were, like, leaving this.

[C]

We did the same thing.

[A]

That's. Yeah, I was going to say I've been to weddings to do that, and it's really efficient, and it's nice, and you don't have to worry about the rest of the night.

[B]

Yeah. We did walk around the tables at the reception, too, which was fun. I was just having fun, though. That's not for everyone.

[A]

I don't remember what we did.

[B]

This one says, letting my mom have her way with most of everything.

[A]

You regret that.

[B]

I feel like that's what my mom.

[A]

That's what we did.

[B]

Great times.

[A]

It was a great time, but, yeah, my mom threw a great wedding.

[B]

Yeah. It probably depends on your relationship with your mom.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Or maybe how your mom. Her vision for things.

[A]

Totally. Hannah said, not just paying for the Limo. We ended up with a strip stripper bus. It's okay, girl. We go Caleb's 1991 Camry. So. Hey, yo, baby.

[B]

Hey, yo. I think they're talking about with the wedding party. Oh.

[C]

I feel like a party bus could be fun. A lot of people do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not getting a hotel night of. Not getting a hotel night up. We just went back home, which was still special, but. Yeah, I get that.

[A]

I. I get that. Yeah. You want to feel like a different. Yes.

[C]

We had someone. If you're not wanting to spend money on it. We had someone gift it to us, which was really nice. So that's something you could, like, ask for or even, like, put on your registry. Just, like, a money fund or something.

[A]

Yeah, totally. We. This girl said Miss Piggy. Having my hair pulled back.

[B]

Yeah. I liked having my hair up.

[A]

She regrets having her hair up. Oh.

[B]

Having my hair. Oh. Pulled back.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I liked having my hair pulled up.

[A]

Mine was.

[B]

You get so sweaty. Yeah.

[A]

I actually didn't love my hair the day of, just because I. There was a different hairspray we use, and my curls fell, which made me a little bummed. But I don't look. I don't look back.

[C]

I had a weird thing where I was like, I did it for all the proms and my wedding. I was like, if I have a formal event, my hair has to be up in an updo because I never do it. And so I was like, I need to do that for my wedding.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I did it for prom.

[A]

I like some sort of updo, too. Yeah.

[B]

I think it's my chubby cheeks. It makes me feel a little more O.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Obligatory invites and bridesmaids. Yeah.

[A]

Don't feel obliged to do anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We did our invites on vistaprint and got them really inexpensive.

[C]

I think we did the same.

[A]

Yeah. You don't have to do them expensive. No, no.

[B]

I think she means, like, inviting people she didn't want to invite and having bridesmaids.

[A]

I think you're right. You do have to send an invite of some sort. People have to know the information.

[B]

I think she means, like, she felt obligated to invite someone that she didn't want to invite, and she's regretting that.

[A]

Oh, I.

[B]

That's how I take it. At least I thought that a little bit.

[A]

Like, I remember we had a tight guest list, and it was kind of hard sometimes because obviously, like, our parents. My parents paid for it, so they obviously want to invite their friends. And so I. I think I kind of had to Come to understanding. I'm like, there are just some people that are going to be invited that I don't know. And it's. That's none of my business. And it's okay.

[B]

The regretting having bridesmaids is kind of sad.

[A]

It is.

[B]

There was like a quintessential part for me.

[A]

Yeah. Girlhood.

[B]

You know, Kelsey says having to get to the airport by 6am the next day for a honeymoon. Don't do that.

[A]

Don't do that.

[C]

Well, the day after that. If you want to do it right after.

[A]

Exactly. You need to put. You need to build the day in there.

[B]

Too many people make that mistake. They do get too excited. It's not going to feel fun that day.

[A]

No. You want to sleep in. This person said using the photographer that came in the venue package. Oh, I'm sorry.

[C]

Would you have to. You probably.

[A]

They regretted that. No. Like, they probably haven't. You have someone that comes with the venue. Probably not going to capture the vision. Yeah. Your picture in.

[B]

Not the artsy ones.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Being so busy, I didn't have time to visit with everyone that came.

[A]

Yeah. Cassidy said, spending too much time taking pics. Too much time taking pics.

[B]

I hated taking pictures at the wedding. If I'm.

[A]

I love.

[B]

I want to get back to the party.

[A]

I didn't really care about the party. I was like, just get me kissing in the vineyard with my. With my smoochie.

[B]

I did not. I just didn't want to take pictures. I just wanted to go have fun. I was like, let's dance.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

This one says spending close to 100k instead of saving it for a down payment on a house. There's a fine balance.

[A]

It's a balance.

[B]

100k feels like a hefty budget, especially

[A]

if you're paying for it yourself. I get that. I get it, too. And then in hindsight, you're like, you know, 10 years down the road, you think, how I could have bought a killer. That's a lot of that.

[B]

Yeah, It's a lot of money.

[A]

Totally. Totally. Well, those are great, you guys. Thanks for saying those in. I feel like that's good advice to people. It's always. I feel like that's so interesting. When I was engaged, I just wanted to hear all the things like, what did you want to do differently? You know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we had some of our. Our do's and don'ts for. Let's start with the brides.

[B]

I feel like we should start with the guests, don't you think?

[A]

Let's start with the guests.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Okay, sure. Here's my first one for the guests. Do take lots of videos of the bride and groom to send to them and just send them all the videos and footage after. Because we, like I said, we didn't have a videographer. So my memories and clips that I have are just from what people sent me. And it feels so special. And I wish I took more. More pictures and videos, getting ready, hanging with my girlfriends. Like, I don't. I didn't. I wasn't on my phone because I wanted to be in the moment. And I really wish maybe more so that maybe that my friends took more pictures and videos for me. But, you know, I just, like, have someone or have your. So if you're a guest, take lots

[B]

of videos and pictures for them. I feel like I've seen a trend, though, where brides are like, please do not record.

[A]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[B]

I didn't want their smartphones out.

[A]

I want the smartphones out.

[B]

You want the videos?

[A]

Yeah. And I will break that rule at your wedding. No, I'm just kidding. I won't.

[C]

I won't.

[B]

If they specifically asked. That feels crazy. But, yeah, I think that's good advice. Yeah, I do have some like. Like, I know, like on my Google Drive, Google photos, or like, pictures people just randomly took and sent me. It was the boomerang season, so I

[A]

have a lot of boomerangs.

[B]

I also got married a lot of boomerang. So I got a lot of boomerangs for my wedding, which is pretty funny and special.

[C]

Yeah, I went to a wedding. They had a QR code on the table that had a joint Google album. So if you took photos and videos, you can just add it to that Google album. So then you get them all at the same place. People aren't texting you photos, doing, you know, you make sure you get them all.

[B]

Wait, people still do wedding hashtags? No.

[A]

And guess what? That felt like the burden of my life trying to think of a hashtag.

[C]

Did you have one?

[A]

Yeah, I can't remember what it was. Here comes the Howard. Something really generic. Something like that.

[B]

What if that was mine? It should have been. No, I don't remember what mine was, but people used to do hashtags so you could go on the hashtag and find everyone like the pictures. It was a simpler time on social media, but I actually do. This isn't my advice, but, like, on, like, along those same lines, we had a family member that wasn't like a close. Like, I'm not I'm saying, yeah, cousin, that recorded on a camera for us. And then in hindsight, we edited all that. Like, Matt edited all that footage and put it together. And that is a. It's very budget friendly because that's like her gift to us is that she recorded during the wedding.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then we had so much footage. And it also just felt so personal that Matt put it together also. That's very niche because most husbands aren't

[A]

gonna know how to edit. Right.

[B]

But I feel like you could slice and dice a video together. It's just a matter of having the footage. Right.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

And then you have a camera, which is also something you're gonna want for your life. So I actually like that that's how.

[A]

That.

[B]

That wasn't necessarily all thought out intentionally, but it worked out really well in his. Good for the guests. Okay, this is just so obvious. Don't be late. And this is really for people like me. Like, don't be walking in.

[A]

My other ones do get there early. I have a story.

[B]

Don't be late. This is what I said. Okay, that was a small one. This one says, I don't just show up for the ceremony or don't just show up for the reception. I do think that there is a temptation to just come for the fun part, but like the meal and the party. If. If you.

[A]

If.

[B]

Unless you have like a. Like a legitimate reason, go to go to the ceremony beforehand because that's the purpose of the wedding.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know people did that.

[B]

Oh, I know a lot of people just go to reception.

[A]

Really?

[C]

I know people who do the opposite. They'll go to a ceremony and not the reception.

[B]

Do that. If you're gonna go swing away. Tell them you don't want a meal.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Tell them you're not coming.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because you don't want to have just like a bunch of unclaimed paid for meals.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But a lot of people just like, for the. Like, it's not. We want you to witness the vows. Right. That's what it's here for.

[A]

Right? Yep. That's good. That's really good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I said, do get there early. I actually had a wedding where we were running tight. We. I. This is the one place where I'm like 15 minutes early every time we have to. And we were. We walked in two minutes early, and I was like, phew, okay. We still made it. In town.

[B]

You never also know what parking is going to look like.

[A]

You never know. And you might have a little bit of a walk to the Venue. I walk in, I make eye contact with the bride as she's walking down the aisle. She went down the aisle two minutes early. That was a horrible moment for me. I was like, you look beautiful, like, waving her down. That's horrible. That's horrible.

[B]

Reverse that.

[A]

I was like, we gotta go.

[C]

As someone who has coordinated a wedding,

[A]

if you are late, don't go in.

[C]

Don't go in. It draws attention to you. It disrupts. Especially if it's a small venue that has, like, just one door. My venue for my wedding was on the. When you walk in the front door, you can go around until you get to the. So if someone walked in late, you couldn't tell there was no doors opening. It was big enough. There's a really small venue in Springfield that a lot of people have their weddings at. You open that door. Everyone goes so loud and echoey in there. Like, don't come in. I texted my friend who was late to one. I was like, don't come in. I love you. They want you to be here. Please don't walk in.

[A]

I know. It's so distracting. So. Yeah. That's a tough one. That's a tough one.

[C]

They'll never know.

[A]

They'll never know. Wait, did you do a don't?

[B]

I did a don't. That was bad. What are we doing?

[A]

Are we okay?

[B]

No, I'm just gonna go.

[C]

We didn't have our planning meeting this week.

[B]

I'm just gonna go through it randomly.

[A]

Okay. Just go through it.

[B]

I'm doing a do now.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do give them a gift.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

But send it to their house if it's an option. Because I feel like now this is an option that wasn't, like, available, like, for our parents, but if they have a place where you can just send it to. You don't even have to worry about wrapping. It's better for you. You don't have to worry about wrapping. It goes where they want it, and then they don't have to worry about collecting everything at the end. But, yeah, I would say get as obviously as your budget allows. Get a nice gift. If they're, like, providing drinks, dinner, like, this nice evening that I feel like that's just transaction. That is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Worthy of that.

[A]

Totally. Also, if you're not invited to a shower and you're not going to bring a gift to a shower, I would say just bring money because. And bring it in an envelope and put it in their little letter box there. That was such a blessing to us. I mean, we had some very generous Family and friends that gave us letters with a lot of cash. And it was. I mean, it just sets you up on such a nice foot for your wedding and starting your life together. So, you know. Yeah. If you're not going to a shower and. Or you don't want to cart a big gift. Yeah. Bring an envelope. Cash. That's a nice one. Okay.

[C]

My.

[A]

Don't. I did both my dues. Yeah. This one. Don't wear white.

[B]

I did that.

[A]

I did that. I did make a mistake.

[B]

I remember you talking about this.

[A]

I didn't realize it until my friend Kenzie, she's really. She loves weddings. She's a wedding coordinator, and she asked me if she could borrow a dress. And I pulled out all my dresses, and in my head, this dress was blue.

[B]

How do you confuse that?

[A]

Well, it had blue flowers all over it.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

But I was like, this is a blue dress. She was, abby, that's a white dress. I said, this is not a white dress. This is a blue dress. She said, abby, that dress is white with blue flowers. That's a white dress. And I look back at it. I did wear this white dress with blue flowers with white heels to a wedding. So, Hannah, I apologize. Don't make that mistake.

[B]

She probably didn't think of it.

[A]

She didn't think anything of it. But I am embarrassed in hindsight.

[C]

Unless you're supposed to wear white, then wear white. Some people are doing that these days.

[A]

Oh, like a white wedding. It's kind of fun.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[A]

Okay.

[B]

Please be fun on the dance floor. Like when people are all just sitting back when everyone's trying to dance. Like, I feel like I've been to a lot of weddings where it's like the bride and the groom and they're like wedding partiers, like trying which is that that's our job to try to make it fun. Maybe I care too much about the dance party, but I really care about this and I feel like it made my wedding so. Like, I loved this part of my wedding so much. Like, try to be fun. Try to participate. Don't just be sitting back. Get sweaty.

[A]

Get sweaty.

[B]

Do the cheesy dances. Like, have fun. I don't like. I like. Something I loved about our wedding is that it wasn't even just the young people on the dance floor. There was like older couple. Like everyone was having fun on the dance floor and it just made it so fun for Matt and I.

[A]

That was really fun. I have some strong opinions on this and advice that I want to share on our Patreon extended episode because this unlocks something that I feel strongly about.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I have a strong opinion that I will also. Good idea. I'm going to save it for.

[A]

Okay, I'm going to save for the Patreon because these opinions are strong.

[B]

This one could be crazy.

[A]

Okay. My last dope for guests. Yeah. Don't say bye to the groom and bride at the end of the wedding.

[B]

1. They don't.

[A]

Caleb always wants to go say bye out of like respect and be like, thank you for the wedding. It was beautiful. Congratulations. I. I'm like, do not stop their dance party to go say bye because then it's sad. Like I remember feeling sad when people said Bye. Because the night was ending. I was like, this is such a special day.

[B]

You guys don't stay till the end.

[A]

Well, it was late. No, not always. Not in the last couple years. We don't always stay till the end. But I'm like, you know, I don't know. Just don't say bye. I'm like, let's just sneak out and not draw attention to the fact that we're leaving their party, you know?

[B]

Yeah, it's a bummer.

[A]

It's a bummer. You can say bye to the parents. Don't say bye to the bride and groom.

[B]

Don't do a long speech. And this is my personal opinion, don't cuss in your speech at a wedding. Come on. There's all types of people. It's a classy, formal event. This has happened many times. I will say. I've been. I'm like, this is going really long. I think this sweet spot, four minutes is beautiful. Great amount of time for a speech. If you're going over 10, someone's gotta take the mic.

[A]

You gotta cut it.

[B]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And also keep it. Keep it clean and don't share things that are going. Like. We can have a joke for the reception, but let's not make it messy for everyone.

[A]

I love a roast. I love a roast, personally. Like a roast at the reception. Yeah. What are you talking about?

[B]

Sometimes it gets a little casual at ceremony. Sometimes. Which is what I was gonna bring it up. Speeches at ceremonies, not a speech. I'm talking about. This is a separate thing that I was talking about for the brides.

[A]

Okay, I'm confused.

[B]

Like, if the officiant is, like, trying to be funny, the main character.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we don't like that. You're like, just give me my. Just tell me what to say. Keep my vow. Yeah, you should.

[B]

But also, I think just. Yeah. You can make, like, Make a tasteful joke. Yeah, Tasteful joke.

[A]

I think it can be funny and, like, kind of mean, but I think it should be shameful also.

[B]

Just know that people are all kinds of people are there, like, from their, you know, grandparents to their children, grandparents, friends, like, keep a, like, awareness there going on.

[A]

I would agree.

[B]

I've seen some that are going really, really low. And I'm like, well, nice. This is a nice formal event.

[A]

Yes, yes, I agree. I agree. Should we go to bride?

[B]

Let's do the brides. These are fun.

[A]

This is really fun. I've been to a couple weddings. I've done this. If your budget allows, do a late Night, dance floor, dinner. Like a second dinner. Whether it's inexpensive, maybe it's French fries and chicken strips and burgers, or you have a food truck come or something. Something to where after the party's going and the dancing's been had and you're hungry again, you have something fun for your guests to go eat and chow. Or maybe they want to take a break from dancing and go eat. It's so fun. It's such a good idea. I've loved the weddings that have had that.

[B]

That's fun.

[A]

Yeah. It makes it feel like. I don't know, it makes it feel like a full night thing, even if it's not later into the night, you know, that's fun.

[B]

I've never been to a wedding with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just kidding. Did we have something at ours?

[A]

Yeah, maybe they have or something.

[C]

I feel you guys, I was not there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

For some reason. Why do I feel like you guys did feel like.

[B]

I feel like we did have something.

[A]

Like, something passed around or like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A little bag to go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For the bride, I would say, once again, these are just my opinions. I said, don't overdo your makeup. Because I feel like there's been certain times where I will see someone's wedding photos or, like, just like, I'm like, oh, they're not actually necessarily recognizable. Like, I wouldn't. I want to look like. I was really glad I looked like myself.

[A]

I would agree. Yeah.

[B]

Like, and I feel like also a lot of things with, like, big, like, over the top makeup, it does tend to sway towards a trend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you're like, okay, you'll look at your photos later on. You're like, why did I do, like, trends that'll come and go, like, extreme contour or thick eyeliner or those big lashes, like, fake lashes. Like, you might be like, I just kind of wish I did something that felt more like me and I looked like myself for these.

[A]

Totally. If your thing is a smokey eye, do a smokey eye.

[B]

Yeah. Do a.

[A]

If you've never done a smoky eye in your life, your wedding is not the time to do a smokey eye.

[B]

You're also just. It's more risky because you're more likely to dislike it down the line because you're like, that's not what I normally look like. Totally thick brow or, like, really dark brows. If you don't normally fill them in that much. Like, let's just don't do it. Do something that makes you feel elevated, but, like, do something that feels like. Like, you like your face looks like your face.

[A]

Totally. I agree. That's a really good one. Yeah. I'm grateful I did mine really natural. Just like enhance your natural beauty.

[B]

Your makeup looks so good.

[A]

Thanks. Yeah, Aurora, she did a great job. This is something that Caleb had us do in the moment. That was really sweet. And he tells this advice to a lot of people. I think he told you guys this, but at dinner, sit down, take a deep breath, hold hands with your husband, and just like, slowly take in all the people there in the room. There's not many other times in your life, maybe your funeral, where like everyone

[B]

you love, that's not in your life.

[A]

You're right. So there's never again a time in your life where every single person in your room, all your friends, all your family are going to be there together just to celebrate you and be excited and happy and you're going to get to experience. Experience it, too. And so just sit there and look around and just take in that moment. That's like a very memorable moment from our wedding too, because you're just. You're rushing around, you're stressed, you're going. There's so much happening. It's exciting. And then you just get there and it's like, let's just pause and just like, recognize where we are. And it was really sweet.

[B]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Caleb did that to us on the dance floor. It was sweet. I remember that.

[A]

That's sweet.

[C]

Do.

[B]

I don't know that I would have thought to do this. I didn't. Definitely didn't plan this in advance. It's one of those things that just kind of happened and I'm so grateful it did. This is Matt and I, when we got married. We didn't do any type of social media, but the night of the wedding, when we got back to our hotel room, I'm like, still in the dress. He's still in his suit.

[A]

The we.

[B]

I don't know why Matt thought to do this. I feel like their family is like good documenters. All sorts of stuff all over me. It's because I just had to help a kid. And it came at the cost of, like, peanut butter slobber. I don't know what that is, but you guys know, it's fine.

[A]

It's pretty gay.

[B]

And we sat down and we kind of just made a video talking to ourselves as we were married. Like, say, like, we're like, just remember how you feel right now. Like, how in love you feel. How many people just came to witness your wedding. And I feel like we unintentionally made it for, like, hard times in marriage. Like, for. It's like, so if we're, like, mad at each other or it feels like, oh, we're just, like, in a roommate state or, I don't know, whatever it can be. Because these times will happen. We both will watch that video together. And it's just for us. No one else has literally ever seen this video. It's never been posted, certainly. But it's so sweet because we're like, that's still us. Yeah. Like, that is us. The people that we got that chose to get married that were so in love and so giddy that day. Like, I don't know, something about that video just makes it so easy to tap into that again. You're like, this silly argument that we're in is really not that important because this is what we entered into. And remember how we were like when we were entered into this. It's obviously, you're gonna change and evolve, and your marriage is going to, like, grow both of you in certain ways that change you as individuals and as a couple. But having that was. I love that. Yeah. And I've told a couple random people, do it, and they were like, it's so fun. Like, we're just, like, mad. We're like, should we watch the video?

[A]

It's kind of fun.

[B]

It's just a quick video of, like,

[A]

dang, I wish you would have done that.

[B]

And it's also. We also kind of made it for our kids in the future, too. Like, we talked to our kids in that little video, too.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. I wish we would have done that. That's really sweet. That's really good advice. That should have been your number one.

[B]

It was my number one, dude.

[A]

Oh, perfect. I love that. Okay, mine. I'm moving on to my don'ts. While you're going positive, I'm going negative.

[B]

I'm all over the place.

[A]

I also said, don't have too many speeches, and I think this can go. I'll turn this into a doom. Do have open mic at your rehearsal dinner.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Let that be the time.

[A]

So don't have long speeches at your wedding because it's painful for the guests. I mean, I have a couple. Have your main, but not too many. Don't have any more than, like, your maid of honor, groom, and dad.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like, my dad didn't even do it.

[A]

Your husband, Madden Art, just, you know, keep it small at the wedding, but at your rehearsal dinner, have an open mic where people can just go up and just shower you with love and praises and words of encouragement and words of advice. I have gone to so many rehearsal dinners where they do that, and it is.

[B]

It's.

[A]

Sometimes I love those nights more than the wedding sometimes because it's so intimate, it's so special, and it's just truly memorable. And you do want to be like, people should shower you with words. And so I sometimes. Yeah, I don't always think the reception is the place to do that, but, like, there should be a place. And that's the rehearsal dinner. So make sure you make your dinner. So I don't know, just intentional. Don't brush over your rehearsal dinner because it's a beautiful night.

[C]

I agree there. And my sister, she and her husband, they're, like, a little more on the shyer side, and they didn't want to do any speeches at the wedding, and so. And they didn't have an open mic at the rehearsal dinner either, but they let the maid of honor and the best man do speeches at the rehearsal dinner. So I did my speech there. And I think that also, even if you're like, I don't want speakers. Speeches, let. Give them that opportunity to. To love on you guys and, like, say some things to you guys because they have thoughts about you guys and want to shower you, and so, like, totally let them do that for you.

[A]

I. I love. I love wedding speeches. Don't get me wrong. I love, like, those main ones because I do think it's important to, like, share positive things with the couple. Just not too many of them.

[B]

My best friend growing up, and she's still, like, one of my really dear friends. Her siblings prepared a whole song, and it sounds so cheesy, but it was. It was. But it was so well done. And they changed the whole lyrics of the song to be specific to her and her fiance. And I was like, what a cool way to incorporate this.

[A]

Yeah, they had.

[B]

I'm sure, like, they had so many exchanges, but, like, at the. It was at the wedding, and it was so cool. That's obviously very niche for, like, a musically inclined artistic family, right? It was so good and so cute. You have to watch it.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

I have a whole video. It was so good.

[A]

I think you showed it to me. It was Morgan's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To Hamilton.

[A]

So special.

[B]

So cute. I think about that one a lot. Only you can only do it at the wedding if it's in musical number, as far as I'm concerned.

[A]

Just kidding.

[B]

Okay. Well, I guess I'll bring. I'll do a don't Now. I was talking about this with my mom, and she brought this one up, and I was like, honestly, that is kind of a good one. Don't just ask for cash. I feel like this is kind of where we're swinging now, where it's like, it's so practical, right? You're like, I'll get what I need as I need it, and, like, I can just use cash on anything. I think everyone knows they have that option already if they want to give cash. I think as some guests, especially probably your older guests, really want to give you a specific gift attached to Addy's, like, nodding because she's a. She's a gift. Like, she feels like she's a gift.

[C]

I loved my gifts.

[A]

And so.

[B]

And I do think that it is special for, like, people to know that they're, like, what? Like, what they're giving you. And I don't know, it's kind of a nice thing, but also, you are getting the gift, so it's nice both ways. I think everyone knows that they can give you cash if you want, or they can write a check, but to have some gift options for people to buy off your registry, I think that's meaningful to people. And I know what you got me for my wedding.

[A]

Me?

[B]

Yeah. You and your mom. This was just for my bridal shower, but you and your mom got me that salad bowl and tongs I use, like, every Sunday.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I have the same one. Same bowl.

[B]

You get the scout. I love that bowl. Yeah. And it's kind of fun for me, too. Now I know, like, what you guys, what people got me. And I think about people, like, a lot, and so it might spread seem like, impractical, but it is. I think it's a nice thing to do.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think also with the cash thing, at least for me, if someone gives me cash, even for my birthday or Christmas or my wedding, it just kind of got spit on. What it. Like, it didn't go towards. I don't remember what I spent it on. Like, and I probably just kept it and used it on date night so it wouldn't go in the budget versus, like, buying the rest of the things on our registry. Or I might have even just put it in the bank account and put it towards savings. Like, instead of someone being like, here's this gift, and it being that money put towards those things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good. Different trains of thought. Love it.

[B]

Abby's like, just ask for cash.

[C]

Give me money.

[A]

No, I wanted. I mean, all the gifts. I had a lot of showers, though, so people got basically all of our gifts off of our registry for our showers. And so, like, the actual wedding day came, and we. People were just really generous with their cash, which was. I think, at the end of the night, I felt so overwhelmed. I was like, whoa, people are so generous. And so maybe it's like a different form of generosity that I felt, you know, it was like a gift, I don't know, versus, like.

[B]

But, like, you had a registry.

[A]

Yeah, I did. Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's what I like to have, a registry. Like, have an option where they could get you a gift that's not just a random gift, too, because that will also happen.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You should definitely, definitely have a packed,

[B]

stacked registry with a multitude of price ranges.

[A]

Yes, agree.

[B]

Sometimes I open someone's registry, I'm like, okay, Barrel, I don't really know you that well.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

Literally. Okay.

[A]

My next. Don't. This is a hot take. This is. Don't have a first look. And this. There's a lot of schools of thoughts on this, and I understand logistically why people do first looks and so they could do pictures beforehand. But the other most memorable part of our wedding was the anticipation of. Of them opening the doors and me locking eyes with Caleb for the first time that day.

[B]

I was sobbing.

[A]

I ugly cried, Which. You know what? I love those pictures because it was the most memorable moment of both of our lives. And it was just truly so incredible. It felt like they're opening heaven's gates, you know, My.

[B]

Did you do a first look at you?

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

None of us did a first look.

[A]

Yeah. And I know it's. That's not common. And it did have longer pictures and, like, a longer cocktail hour to, like, you know, get all of our pictures in, which that's not always the most fun for guests, but who cares? Like, the. It is so special seeing, like. Oh, man. I just can't even put into words how beautiful and amazing it was. The anticipation. Unreal.

[B]

Okay. This is a dude that I don't. I wish I didn't have to say this. I wish I didn't have. I wish it wasn't the case. I wish it wasn't reality. I wish it wasn't. There just wasn't a thing. But I do think that you need to write thank you cards. Yeah.

[A]

For your wedding. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But with a caveat. I do think your husband needs to write thank you cards as well. It's a shared responsibility. But I will say I personally Am one that I'm like. There's very few things where I'm like, I think you should write a thank you card for. In which case, I honestly think wedding might be the only thing that I'm like. Because sometimes if, especially in this modern era, like I said, you send the gifts directly to their house. You don't even know if they got it or not. Right. And so I hate to say it because I hated writing them.

[A]

I know. It took me a year. It took me a year to write them all.

[B]

And I do think it should be a shared responsibility.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you both have to. I think you should do it. I think you should.

[A]

I know. I felt like for my showers, it was my responsibility.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I did them all for the shower. One for mine too. I think I, I his family.

[C]

I made Blake do those ones. Like anyone who was invited from his side of the family. He wrote those.

[A]

Yeah. This is a great gift. If you're throwing someone a bridal shower, have the people, when they walk in, write their. Their envelope with their name and address on it and have stamps there. And that's like a really amazing shower gesture to do for your brides. Because that was the hardest part, honestly, was addressing all the envelopes.

[B]

That's what our mother in law did.

[A]

Teresa did all those.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For her friend shower.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. I think that's maybe where I got the idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a huge blessing because.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just.

[B]

It's one of those things. It's just. Yeah.

[A]

It's hard, but it's important. It is hard because you are grateful and people spend a lot of money.

[B]

Yeah. And it's just. It's one of those things. It's just a wedding. You're only gonna do it one time.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Maybe. Hopefully. Hopefully.

[A]

Yeah. I have some more that I think will probably. We're gonna move the rest of the pan. Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna keep my more out of pocket ones. Okay.

[A]

My ideas about the pocket list. I feel like these ones are going to, like, these are practical and good and like, I think people will actually get value from these ones. The other ones are like, funny hot.

[B]

This is just my personal opinion.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't mind me.

[A]

Right. Exactly. Yeah. We'll continue the rest of this conversation over on Patreon and we'll give us some more fledged out of our list. And we're going to pick back up here with book club voicemails and always hungry. Thank you. Better help for supporting this portion of today's episode.

[B]

May is mental health awareness. Month and a time to open up the conversation and prioritize teaching, taking care of our mental well being. It's also a reminder that you don't have to go through anything alone because with today's sponsor, Better Help, there's someone who's always with you, someone who's trained to listen. And for me personally, I feel like things really changed for me when I became a mom. I felt much more of this responsibility to make sure I'm showing up as the best version of myself every day. A lot of that started with unpacking so many things that I never thought carried weight that were carrying weight. It's also great just to have that accountability and that check in with like, what's going on, what needs to change, what areas do I need to grow in? I've seen a lot of benefits from it personally.

[A]

Also, having a third party person who doesn't know you, doesn't always know the situation can give you unbiased help. Better help makes therapy accessible wherever you are, whether online or through the app. Take the quiz and get matched with a licensed therapist quickly. You can switch anytime at no extra cost if it's not the right fit. 82% of clients recommend their therapist, which is really awesome.

[B]

I love how accessible it is because. Because sometimes it's just not realistic to get in person to therapy.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And this works for you on your schedule at your own home. You really can't beat that. So click the link in the description or go to betterhelp.com always to get 10 off your first month of therapy because no one should have to go through anything alone. BetterHelp is here with you. Okay, book club time.

[A]

We read Just Friends by Haley Pham, her first book. She's a YouTuber. You've followed her for such a long time, huh?

[B]

I have.

[A]

I mean, I'm big fans of her husband Ryan Trey Hinn. And I think they're a sweet couple. So I was excited to support her

[B]

and her first book Journey before she became a book YouTuber.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's really cool.

[B]

Yes. And as I was reading this book, I was like, how often do you read an author's debut novel?

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't think I've ever read anyone's debut novel.

[A]

I don't think I have either.

[B]

Especially like to publish your day. I feel like a lot of people write a lot. And then, you know, and I just kept thinking like how I literally was like, fiction writing might be one of the most vulnerable things to release to the, to the, you know, the Vastness of the Internet in the world.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because fiction is just, like, purely coming from your imagination and like your own. Your own voice in a way, through another character. Like, it just feels like. You would think sharing your own life feels personal, but for me, like, it feels vulnerable. But I would feel more vulnerable sharing, like, something that I, like, created.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is a personal thing, maybe, but something I created. I'm like, this is, like, this is. I don't know. It's so new too. It's hard to do a new thing and to do it at such a big public scale. So I have so much respect for her for, like, releasing this when she already had, like, so many eyes on her. Yeah. And I know just from following your journey, it, like, did not come easily. Like, you don't just write a whole chapter book when it's like, oh, done.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, especially because I feel like she was so deeply involved in the process. Whereas, like, I don't. I heard there's like, I'm sure there's ways around actually writing your own book. Actually writing your own book.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't think that was her process.

[A]

No.

[B]

And so she documented so much of it. And so, like, I just have, like, major props to her for this whole project.

[A]

Agreed. I was thinking about that.

[B]

Can I get my book? My copy of it?

[A]

Yeah, go get it. Go get it. Sorry.

[B]

Cute. And I have it in my always here book bag. I love it. So cute. Abigail got me this for Christmas.

[A]

Shout out. Carly.

[B]

This is the book. Yay. Sorry, what were you going to say?

[A]

Like, anytime you're. You venture into something new and you're so public about it, you're just so open to opinion. Like, it's so vulnerable. And. And so I just read it with a lot of admiration of her. Like, wow, this is really brave and really, really impressive. I genuinely enjoyed reading the story. For her first book. I was like, wow, this is. She's got. She's got so much potential. Like, so talented. I thought the storyline was really cute. I actually enjoyed that, their relationship. Like, I feel like sometimes when you're reading a book and like, when two people break apart and they get back together, it's kind of like one big moment and then they're back together. I actually liked in the story how you saw in Blair's mind, like, how she kind of struggled with getting back and like, some. The process of them getting back together. I love that she drew that out. I don't read that very often in many books.

[B]

Yeah. I think the whole story was Very wholesome and sweet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Spoiler alert. I love that they got married. And, like, I love. I also love being, like, having met my husband. We were very young. Like, history, like, growing up together. That aspect, like, same. It brought back a lot of feelings.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love that. But the best part, in my opinion. Did you see the dedication?

[A]

Yes. It was so sweet.

[B]

It's so sweet. It says, for Ryan, who's her husband, who made my life a romance book before I discovered them.

[A]

I read that to Caleb, and I was like, oh, my gosh. Because he's a big Ryan fan.

[B]

Very sweet.

[A]

In the acknowledgments page, she wrote something sweet to him too.

[B]

So sweet.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Yeah. I think the whole book was very wholesome. Like, I feel like it could be great if you have, like, it's great for a wide audience of people. I would say, especially, like, if I would have read this, like, as a new reader, like, a new adult reader or even, like, in high school, I think this would be a great book. Yeah. It's so cute.

[A]

Look at that. Yeah. Agreed.

[B]

And all the illustrations at the front of the covers were really cute.

[A]

This would be a really cute book if you wanted to read something with your daughter and, like, she's a young adult in high school. This is, like, a great book that you can read together. It's a quick read, quick read, entertaining, sweet, wholesome.

[B]

The coffee shop element is very sweet as well.

[A]

Yep. I want to go to this town, Seabrook.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I want to see the cottage.

[B]

I know. Is it a real cottage?

[A]

No, I don't think so.

[C]

Oh, you want to go to this town that she made up?

[A]

Yeah, I want to go to this big town in California.

[B]

I think it's based off.

[C]

Off of a real place.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

I thought it was really cute, and

[B]

it's made up, but it's based off of, like.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. What you.

[C]

No, I thought it was really cute. Easy to read. I thought it was, like, not too heavy either way. Like, the. The highs weren't super high and the lows weren't super low, so I felt like it was, like. It's not making you go deep into those, like, trenches. That's why I think it's really good for, like, new readers or, like, teachers. Teenagers would probably be. And it's not, like, too spicy or anything like that.

[B]

It's not spicy at all.

[C]

It's not spicy at all. I thought it was really good.

[B]

I will say, too, I. I think that I feel like she did touch on some heavier Topics, but in a way that's not like, it's not going to like, evoked strong emotion out of you. Like you're worried about that. But, like, she does talk about grief in a way that I was like, that's very profound. And like, that did like, there's times where she's like, talking about how, like. Because the character in the book, which also there. There's aspects too, like if you're maybe come from like an immigrant family, which I think that.

[A]

I think she is.

[B]

Yes. And so that was an interesting, like, dynamic in the book too, to read about.

[A]

Sure it was.

[B]

But also, like, she does touch on grief a lot. That's a heavy, like, subplot or not subplot, but, like, I think it's main.

[A]

Main plot.

[B]

It's a trope in it. I don't know.

[A]

I don't know what terms are.

[B]

But she talks about grief in a way that I thought was really cool. Something that stood out to me in the conversation about grief is when she's about talking. Talking about the character loses her great aunt. That is very pivotal to her life. She talks about how there was a period of time where she was feeling angry towards her friends and how they were. She felt like they weren't handling her grief well. Then she talked about the character coming to this realization that it is her responsibility to invite people in on that, which I think was something I haven't heard a lot like, that thought. And I was like, that's actually very like. That was a really interesting way to think about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think that's very gracious to, like, friends in your life and a great way to view it too. And then you could see that the friends did want to be a part of, like, her life. They just didn't really know how important this person was to her. And like, also, like, the thought of, like, her changing her life trajectory completely, like she wanted. She had these high hopes of being this author in New York City and then, like, slowing down and like, changing things and like, how her life looks different. That is like a really cool, I guess, like, coming of age element of the book too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, yeah, I think it was a really sweet book that also had some deeper.

[A]

It had depth.

[B]

It had some depth to it too.

[A]

It did. Hearing her speak about, like, grief and her emotions. I think I relate a lot to the character in that sometimes I just don't want to share my emotion. And so hearing her process, like, why it's important to share her emotions with people and like, how it benefits the other person. I actually was like, wow, this is really good for me to read. I'm getting a lot of this. So just on your aspect of that, like, I really enjoyed it.

[B]

That stood out to me, too.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And then also when she was talking about grief, she was something else that stood out was. And she was talking about how it was so weird after she had just lost her aunt. It was so weird that people were like, I don't remember exactly how she said it, but we're, like, just going to the grocery store and just, like, going and doing their life. And I think there is, like, a jarring moment when something so tragic happens to you. You're like, how are you just going about your life, like, doing these. These light, everyday tasks? And like, my whole life just got, like, upended. And I think she talked about it in a way that was like. That was like. It felt really real.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so that was. It wasn't just like. Like, overall, this book, I would say, is very safe to pick up if you're, like, by the pool and you're just, like, picking it up on a vacation. But there are also. There's some depth to it that will, like, connect you to the characters. Yeah. That makes you care about them. And so I also just realized on the back that Mari McFarlane wrote a review, and that's, like, one of her favorite authors, so that's probably really cool for her.

[A]

Whoa. That's really cool.

[B]

And Lynn Painter, who's one of her, like, her. That author, made her want to, like, fall in love with reading and want. So I'm like, that's.

[A]

Oh, gosh. That's really. I didn't know. I've never heard any of that. That's amazing.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm like, that's just really, really sweet for her. And I just feel like, as another creator, like, I just. I commend her so much for doing something. Like, I don't know that I would be that brave to put something out there like this. Like, it's just. There's a lot on the line. Like, you can't just, like, try something. And, like, there's a lot of opinions, like, a tip, like, if some. Yeah. There's just so much. You're already diving into the deep end of the pool. Like, you don't even get a chance to learn to swim, you know? And so I just think that this is, like, absolutely something to be praised.

[A]

Agree. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Something specific about books like this or there's a part of this book that I'm like, it angers me in other books when you can tell Declan loves her.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And she's like, I can't. I don't think.

[A]

I don't know. I'm like, wake up, sister.

[C]

Come on. I'm like, I can tell.

[B]

I'm not even there.

[C]

Like, books like that. I'm like, come on.

[A]

So. Right, Addie. I love Declan. I was like, I love Declan. Savannah.

[C]

Okay, wait.

[B]

He's a good man, Savannah.

[C]

Okay, I have. I'm. Spoiler. I'm 85% of the way through.

[B]

That's okay, Addie. You didn't need to admit that.

[C]

Dude. Did this other guy ever come back in the picture? The tall guy at the coffee shop?

[A]

No. That's a good thought. Addie.

[C]

Never. That she gave her number to. He never texted her.

[A]

He never. Yeah, that was kind of left in the dust, wasn't it?

[C]

Do you remember? Did anything happen?

[B]

No, he didn't come back.

[A]

No, he doesn't.

[C]

Ms.

[A]

The mother in law plot. Story was interesting. When you get there, Addie, we'll have to talk about it.

[C]

Oh, the end.

[A]

No, the mother in law.

[C]

Oh, I'm there.

[A]

She's not a mother in law.

[C]

I'm there.

[A]

Oh, Gwen. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah. She, like, pulled her aside.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And they have another conversation.

[B]

They have a redemption.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Redemption arc.

[B]

Redemption arc. Yeah.

[C]

I think the friends were right. Giving crazy mother in law behavior.

[A]

It totally was.

[C]

But also, I'm like, just be honest with him. That your mom did just say something to me. Like, that's what I wish she would have done.

[A]

Like, yeah, your mom.

[C]

Did you say something?

[B]

I do hate miscommunication. Yeah.

[A]

It's hard to read. Yeah.

[B]

Hard to read unless it's done, like, super, super well. Because, like, really good irony. Like, you know, think about, like, Shakespeare. Like, when you know something that the characters don't know. Like, yeah, it's so good. But sometimes when it's just like, this is such a good fix this so easy. Like, you're like, ah, years. Years lost.

[A]

Dang it. So true.

[B]

But, yeah, no, it was really sweet.

[C]

Okay, we're going to do voicemails. We're running out of time. We're going to do one voicemail.

[B]

Okay, we'll do one voicemail.

[C]

This is an interesting one.

[A]

Ask, ask, ask.

[B]

Abby.

[A]

Hi. I just had my first kid. He is four months old and perfect. And I was wondering how you guys navigate the conversation of how many kids is right for your family. I feel like I want to have just him and also 18 children. At the same time, any advice would be great. Thankfully.

[B]

That sounds like four months.

[A]

That does sound like four months. He'll be fine. Just give yourself like a year. You'll be good.

[B]

I just said I just had my first kid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like people are like, baby.

[A]

And I believe he is perfect. He's so perfect.

[B]

Seriously, congratulations. What would you say?

[A]

You know what? I feel like we've kind of started with a number in our head and we're gonna work towards that. It's kind of like a thing where it's like, hey, we have an end goal in sight and no matter how hard it gets in between, we've just committed to that. And if we can't get there, we'll be, you know, we'll. We'll take that when it comes. But in our head, we're just going to keep saying our number over and over and over again until we get there. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. And there, there does feel like there's like a rushing period that happens at like four, six months where like, for me, at least, where I was like, I need to make another one right now. I've never felt that. No, I felt like I just was like. Because I think it was. Cause it was all I could think about. So I was like, I want my brain back. Like, I need to get to this number. Because I'm like, I was like, all I could think about was like being a mom and two babies and like, I couldn't. So I will say being a parent to a four month old, as you know, you already know this, but like, I just am going to reiterate is so different from being a parent to a two year old, which is different. Being different from like a parent of a three year old. I think if you just give it some time and like let the dust settle, it'll become clear in conversation with your husband, like what feels right for your family. And I feel like I'm really grateful for this perspective. I can see a difference. I already can, like now see into the future more like how it's gonna change more like your capacity will shift. That's the other thing too. I fully believe, like, your capacity grows and you will amaze yourself.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Like, I feel like my capacity with two kids is already. I'm like, I have some wiggle room, so we're gonna definitely be able to get this third kid. Like, I feel like it just keeps spreading a little bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which I'm so grateful for because at the beginning I couldn't even fathom Taking care of my one baby.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And it will just.

[C]

It just.

[B]

It just. You spread yourself and you grow and

[A]

you figure it out.

[B]

You figure it out.

[A]

Totally. I would agree.

[B]

Give yourself time.

[A]

Give yourself time. You'll figure it out. And I feel like, even with Vivian, I'm like, I feel satisfied, but I don't feel complete. And I feel like there'll become a time where I stop feeling satisfied, you know? And it's like, okay, I'm ready for another one. So, I don't know, you'll handle those conversations as they come and go. Hey, Abby. And Abby and Addie, this is Anna. I know you gals are prevalent on the Internet and have your social media presences. Love it. And I'm wondering if you try to limit your screen time, otherwise, what's your. Your relationship to, like, scrolling and consuming media? Do you give yourself, like, a time limit?

[B]

What's that look like for you?

[A]

Because sometimes I just be on the phone all day. Yeah. Anyways, love to you all, really enjoy listening, love laughing with you, and keep up the go. Aloha. Sweet.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

It's a good question. I feel like I've kind of been playing around with this. I feel like I don't scroll during the day. I really try not to. I'm not perfect, obviously. Some days I do, but I'm like, okay, I'm okay scrolling on the toilet. I scroll in the toilet and I scroll before bed. And those are kind of my times. The other times I try not to. When CJ and Vivian are awake, I try not to scroll.

[B]

Yeah. I think my relationship with, like, screen time and, like, limits for myself comes more from motherhood than from being, like, posting online myself. Because it does just like. Just like you just like anybody listening, like, it hurts your productivity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it also, for me, like, it would hurt my mental health. Like, at times where I'm like, I feel like I'm doing all these things, but I'm really just wasted a bunch of time. And that would get down on myself as, like, a bad cycle. I'm not perfect at it, but I have my. I don't have TikTok or other social medias on my phone, but I have. I have YouTube. I have YouTube and Instagram. I have it on for 30 minutes for Instagram, because that's the one that I'm more likely to, like, scroll a bunch.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But usually I end up having to extend that at some point. And because even just to get, like, necessary work tasks, it'll take more than 30 minutes.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But I think if I didn't have work online, 30 minutes would be great for, like, scrolling and getting whatever you want. But yeah, it's just also maybe, yeah, it's just personal thing, but it is something like, as a mom, I felt more like, okay, I need to be a better steward of my time, and I don't. It's so easy to bring it out when you're around the kids. It's hard to contain it. So it's like, I can tame it to an amount of time. You can take it to, like, a setting. And I think both of those can work.

[A]

Yep, totally. It's good.

[B]

It's good that you're thinking about that.

[C]

Mine's different. I'm like, if I'm not reading my book like a book, then I know I'm scrolling more often. Like, I'll scroll before bed rather than reading my book before bed. And so I pertain it to. I'm like, oh, I'm reading my book so I'm not scrolling as much.

[B]

We never scroll before bed.

[A]

I do because Caleb goes to bed so early. So I'm just like, ugh, what do I do with my time? I could sleep, but what would I do?

[B]

Why don't you go to bed?

[C]

Blake and I will watch a show because we go to bed at different times because I go to bed way before him.

[B]

We'll watch a show every night. You go to bed by yourself?

[A]

Yeah, same.

[C]

I watch a. We watch a show. The show ends, I go to bed. I read my book.

[B]

Matt would love that.

[C]

Blake just scrolls on his phone until he's tired and then goes to bed.

[B]

I get so sad.

[A]

It is a little. I mean, I got over it quickly, but I didn't want to go to bed that early. So, you know, it's my cross to bear.

[B]

It's hard for me sometimes.

[C]

Matt will be.

[B]

Matt will lay down with me until I fall asleep. Sleep sometimes. And then he'll leave. But then the whole time, I'm like, he's gonna leave.

[A]

Caleb doesn't care about that. He's just like, I'll go to bed.

[C]

Neither do I. I'm just like, see you in the morning.

[B]

Yeah, that was good. Okay, quickly. We'll wrap up with always hungry.

[A]

I have the best recipe.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

It is blueberry lemon sweet rolls from ambitious kitchen. I made these, like, five. Have I made these for you?

[B]

No, but I've seen you make them.

[A]

Okay. I'll have to make them for, like, Sunday.

[B]

They're double rise, though. Huh?

[A]

They Are so they take a little bit of time. I know it's something that you have to do the night before and then finish in the morning if you want them for like the day. But they are a lemony dough and then a homemade blueberry jam filling inside and then a lemon cream cheese frosting.

[B]

Yum.

[A]

And they are decadent.

[B]

I want that.

[A]

They're very good. They're fluffy, they're light, they're sweet, they're springy. Add it to your list.

[B]

I am going to do breakfast burritos. This was not a recipe I created. It was from a bodybuilder on TikTok that my brother in law sent me and give him credit.

[A]

Yeah, good job. Goodbye, Josh.

[B]

Josh made them and I was like, I need that recipe.

[A]

When he made those for Christmas, I ate one every day.

[B]

I will say they are labor intensive, especially if you get the raw tort. Raw tortillas, which I really recommend because it really the tortilla makes or breaks the burrito. They're labor intensive. But you will be thankful because you batch create a bunch of them and just throw them in the freezer and then you microwave them in the morning. And whenever I was stocked on those, it was so great. I really wish I would have the energy to redo that. For those of you that leave a review or subscribe like rate, we're very thankful for you and we want to shout out Lainey Liberty. That's really smart. I see what you did there. Roll with the homie. She gave Always Here five stars. It says this podcast is such a needed sense of community for for every phase and transition of womanhood. If you're looking for a dose of girl talk, sympathy, giggles and inspo to end your week, this is the place. Honestly, my only complaint is that the show is too new to binge old episodes yet. Thanks for being always here.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[B]

Nice. So thoughtful.

[A]

Seriously, if you guys want to call in and leave a voicemail or a question and be a part of the show, you guys can call 602-456-9690. We love the voicemails. Thank you guys for participating and being a part of the always here community.

[B]

Yeah. And for those that submitted into like, we basically have started doing these weekly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Our question box is so fun.

[A]

It is so fun. It helps us kind of get into the groove. I feel like it, like loosens me up a little bit.

[B]

Yeah. I get to the king salad.

[A]

Some of them stay right, guys, go check out our Patreon. Join us over there. It's gonna be a whole always here party. And I think that's it.

[B]

Yeah. Until next time.

[A]

Remember, we're always here. You can't reason with the sun. Trust us. We've tried. This summer, it's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omnishade technology is engineered to protect you from the sun's harsh rays that can burn and damage your skin. The sun is relentless, but so is our gear. Level up your [e-mail] to spend more time outside and less time slathering on aloe lotion. You're welcome, Columbia. Engineered for whatever

[C]

spring just slid into your DMs.

[A]

Grab that boho.

[C]

Look for that rooftop dinner, those sandals

[A]

that can keep up with you. And hang some string lights to give your patio a glow.

[C]

Up. Spring's calling, Ross.

[A]

Work your magic.