Our Most Embarrassing Mom Fails, Parenting Hacks, and Frida Mom Scandal

Summary

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Always Here Podcast – Episode Summary

Episode: Our Most Embarrassing Mom Fails, Parenting Hacks, and Frida Mom Scandal
Hosts: Abby Howard & Abby Howard (with Addie)
Date: February 27, 2026
Always Here shares real, honest, and funny relationship moments between sister-in-laws Abby & Abby—exploring the hope and the hard of parenting and life, always with heart and humor.

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

This episode is a spirited blend of personal storytelling, parenting blunders, updates from the hosts’ lives, and a thoughtful group discussion on the controversial Frida Mom marketing scandal. The hosts and their guest Addie candidly share their most embarrassing "mom fails," practical parenting hacks, and crowd-sourced stories from listeners. The trio also dives into a book club segment and answers listener voicemails, rounding out the conversation with warmth, vulnerability, and plenty of laughs.

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EPISODE STRUCTURE & TIMESTAMPS

1. Life Updates & Birthday Fun (02:12–11:02)
2. Discussion: Frida Mom Scandal (11:03–19:33)
3. Mom Fails—Listener Submissions & Host Stories (21:32–42:34)
4. Parenting Hacks & Approaches (45:02–66:14)
5. Listener Voicemails—Q&A (71:18–77:10)
6. Recipe & Book Club Corner (77:11–91:46)

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1. LIFE UPDATES & PERSONAL STORIES

[02:12–11:02]

• Addie’s Birthday & First as a Mom:
  • Addie turns 25, celebrates her first birthday as a mom, and recounts a fun recording day that included an impromptu lie detector session.
  • Memorable moment: “We brought a lie detector in.”—Abby H. [02:47]
• Generational Reflections:
  • Hosts discuss feeling the age gap with people in their early 20s, interaction differences with high school/middle schoolers, and parenting as they approach their late 20s.
• Marriage Conference Takeaways:
  • The Howards attended a marriage conference focusing on budgeting and conflict resolution.
  • Key communication tool: “The story I’m choosing to tell myself is…”—Abby H. [05:29]
  • This phrasing helps partners communicate unmet needs without jumping to negative conclusions.
• Sick Day as a Mom:
  • Abigail describes a “sick day” involving showering both herself and her horse-sized dog Lewis, which leads to stories about family dog grooming mishaps.
• DIY Home Projects:
  • Shout out to Caleb for working long hours, then coming home to fix the disposal, ceiling fan, and sink—“He’s been on a tear.” [09:53]

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2. THE FRIDA MOM SCANDAL

[11:03–19:33]

• Scandal Recap & Brand Background:
  • Frida Mom, a popular baby/maternal products company, is under fire for what many perceive as highly sexualized product marketing and inappropriate social media captions.
  • “Their marketing and their branding on their packaging is very sexual.”—Abigail [12:03]
• Notable Example:
  • A 2020 “rectal thermometer” Instagram post: “The closest your husband will ever get to a threesome.” [12:59] “That’s crazy.”—Abby H.
• Mixed Reactions:
  • Hosts admit they hadn’t previously noticed the sexual branding—“We’re so tired. Who’s looking?”—Abby H. [12:16]
  • The line between bold/cheeky humor and inappropriate marketing—especially with children’s products—is debated.
  • “I just feel like it’s kind of tone deaf.”—Abigail [15:05]
• Comparisons & Ethics:
  • Reference to the Balenciaga scandal: using sexual/controversial themes in campaigns involving kids is a red line.
  • On “canceling” Frida: “If there’s two products … I’ll go with the other brand.”—Abigail [15:25]
  • “I would still give them an opportunity to apologize.”—Abigail [19:20]
• Ethical Marketing Takeaway:
  • The hosts value forgiveness and accountability: “Calling out a company when they have crossed the line is good to point them back.” [19:16]

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3. MOM FAILS: EMBARRASSING PARENTING GONE HUMOROUS

[21:32–42:34]

Listener Submissions

• Clipping the binky to the baby’s skin.
• Regretting the purchase of iPads for young kids.
• Feeding a 9-month-old cayenne pepper to “get him used to spice,” resulting in trauma.
  • “Chili powder would have been like still kind of spicy…”—Abby H. [23:26]
• Baby eating an entire tub of margarine while mom showered—bad diaper aftermath.
• Hiding toddler candy and mom eating it!
• Dropping a phone on the baby’s head during 3am feeds
  • “Really? I feel like I probably have, too.”—Abby H. [25:38]
• Toddler sucked on a cricket for an hour—leg flew out after cough.
• Breastfeeding a blanket instead of the baby out of sleep deprivation.
• Toilet brush in mouth—AND it was the previous owner’s toilet brush.
• Cutting baby’s finger instead of nail; mom (an actual nurse) passes out.
• Forgetting diaper before bed: “We didn’t realize until I woke up to feed her at 2am and couldn’t figure out why she was so happy.”

Hosts’ Own Fails

• Dog-Related Mishap: CJ plays with dog’s pee stream (“hot”)—Abigail [31:47]
• Sleeping in Vomit: Kid quietly pukes in crib and sleeps in it all night—Abby H. [32:36]
• Tunnel Slide Disaster: Cheering CJ down a three-story aluminum slide only to see him tumble (“washing machine style”) through the windows—Abigail [34:47]
• Nerf Gun Accident: Accidentally shoots Griffin in the face with a loaded Nerf gun while teaching him—Abby H. [37:05]
• Falling out of Bed—Multiple Stories:
  • Falling hard onto tile after transitioning from crib-to-bed.
  • Waking up under a bed frame during a trip.
• Ink on White Leather Car Seats: Letting toddlers play in the unstrapped car, only to find blue ink pen everywhere—Abby H. [42:20]
• Bottle Nipple Mix-ups:
  • Seven-month-old using a newborn nipple = 40-minute feeds (fail)
  • Addie gives only fast-flow nipples from the start.

"If we can’t laugh about some of this stuff, we’re gone." —Abby Howard [21:44]

"No one’s a perfect parent." —Abby Howard [21:55]

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4. PARENTING HACKS, HONEST TIPS & STRATEGIES

[45:02–66:14]

• Family Motto:
  • The Howards use a concise family motto (“Howards are patient, generous, and kind”) to reinforce values and address misbehavior.
  • “Having that family motto... is just a really good thing.” —Abby H. [47:48]
• Prompt the Response You Want:
  • Abigail has CJ repeat expectations back and answer “yes, ma’am”—improves compliance and makes expectations clear. [49:26]
• Lunch Hack—Don’t Do Lunch:
  • Don’t stress about a formal lunch for toddlers; opt for grazing/snack lunches, which kids eat better anyway.
  • “Three meals a day is crazy… So this is my advice to you. Just don’t do lunch!” —Abby H. [52:53]
• Breakfast “Pre-Snack” Hack: Give toddlers a protein snack during morning nursing to tide them over for the main breakfast.
• Consequences & Resolution:
  • Ask: Why are you taking a break? What will you do differently? What should you do now?
    Fosters self-reflection rather than just punishment.
• Clear Expectations with “If-Then” Charts:
  • Visual charts make logical consequences easier and more predictable for both kids and co-parents.
• Flexible Sleep Environments:
  • Don’t create an overly perfect sleep setting unless needed—teach kids to be flexible.
  • “Don’t start strict… just let your kids…” —Abigail [61:23]
• “Car Shoes” Tip:
  • Keep a pair of shoes (and socks!) in the car—no more missing shoes at daycare or the park.
• Binky Removal via Fictional Character:
  • Use Santa, the tooth fairy, or the Easter bunny as the “binky taker”—removes the “bad guy” role from parents.
• Catching Kids Doing Well:
  • Praise good behavior lavishly.
  • “Praise the crap out of what they do right!” —Abby H. [69:03]
• Screen Time Boundaries:
  • TV/screens only on weekends—sets expectations and reduces weekday requests.

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5. LISTENER Q&A

[71:18–77:10]

• What’s the best part of Arizona life?
  • Sunshine, endless outdoor activities, and major sports/entertainment options for families.
• Seasons taken for granted:
  • Abby H. wants to relive carefree, responsibility-free childhood where “food was always there.”
  • Abigail reminisces on the newlywed/Covid period as special, precious time together.
  • Both emphasize gratitude for friendships and upbringing.

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6. RECIPE & BOOK CLUB CORNER

[77:11–91:46]

Recipes This Week

• Abby H.: Shrimp tacos—Buy shrimp from Costco or Sam’s, use flexible seasoning, top with favorite salsa and raw tortillas.
• Abigail: Hearty cabbage soup—Warm, comforting, full of veggies, add chicken as desired. Serve with crusty bread.

Book Club Discussion:

My Husband’s Wife by Alice Feeney

• Ratings: 3–5 stars. (Mixed reactions—entertaining but “too many lunatics,” confusing plot, abrupt twists.)
• “There wasn’t one sane character.” —Abby H. [91:52]
• “I really enjoyed it. I thought it was very entertaining.” —Abigail [87:25]
• Fun Fact: Author Alice Feeney has a personal signature: missing a finger, which features in her books’ plot lines.

Next Book Pick:

• Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid (GMA Book Club pick, women in space, historical fiction vibes)

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MEMORABLE QUOTES

• “The story I’m choosing to tell myself is…”
  —Abby H. on conflict resolution [05:29]
• “Three meals a day is crazy. Don’t do lunch.”
  —Abby H. [52:53]
• “If we can’t laugh about some of this stuff, we’re gone.”
  —Abby H. [21:44]
• “Calling out a company when they have crossed the line and taken it too far, it’s good to point them back.”
  —Abigail [19:16]
• “Praise the crap out of what they do right!”
  —Abby H. [69:03]
• "Binky: Not because he now hates Christmas and Santa.”
  —Abby H. [65:29]

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TONE & TAKEAWAYS

• Deeply honest, silly, and supportive—hosts are never afraid to get real about failure or joy.
• Zero judgment; continual encouragement for all parents and spouses.
• Open-minded about controversial issues; prefer accountability and learning over cancel culture.
• Parenting hacks are practical, not preachy ("No judgment, you live and you learn").
• Humor and humility throughout, especially about their own blunders.

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For New Listeners

If you want to laugh, commiserate, and leave feeling less alone in the mess and magic of motherhood, Always Here is an open, supportive corner of the internet. Abby & Abby invite you to bring your own stories—failures, wins, parenting hacks, and book club reactions are always welcome.

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Transcript

[Abby Howard]

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[Abigail (Abby)]

We had Santa take the binky. If you can have a fictional character

[Abby Howard]

take your binky, TJ now hates Christmas and Santa. Our kids had not seen a Nerf gun before. Griffin wanted to play with it, and he didn't know what to do. And I'm like, you just push this to shoot under bullets. This one is unhinged. Don't mess with lunch.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Honestly, I love that.

[Abby Howard]

Three meals a day is crazy. It's crazy with toddlers. They don't eat that much food.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Their marketing in their branding on their packaging is very sexual.

[Abby Howard]

Is it enough for you guys to not buy freedom moms anymore? Welcome back to Always here. We're your hosts, Abby Howard and Abby Howard. And we are here once again to share the hope in the hard with heart and humor. Should we just say the whole thing together?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. I was kinda like. I feel like I have it memorized at this point.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. Hey, we're getting professional here.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I'm down. I like it.

[Abby Howard]

Okay. We have a big week. I feel like.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I feel like we have a million things to talk about.

[Abby Howard]

I could yap a long time today.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know we got a lot of big segments. I'm excited.

[Abby Howard]

We do. We do. Let's just kick it off with what's been going on in our life.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Updates.

[Abby Howard]

We had a birthday girl in the house. Addie is now 21 years old.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, such a baby. She's actually 25. I almost texted you happy 26th birthday. So good thing I did it.

[Addie]

25 now. Good. It was first birthday as a mom, so that really changes things.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's sweet.

[Addie]

So Abby came over and watched Brielle that night. So Blake and I Got to go out to dinner.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Fun.

[Addie]

We had a really fun recording day on my birthday, which is kind of fun.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, yeah, you had a fun recording day.

[Addie]

A video will come out soon.

[Abby Howard]

We brought a lie detector in.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, yeah. Matt asked him when to do that. And I. Caleb. And I was like, what are we talking about? I was like, no, we had questions

[Abby Howard]

prepared for you guys if you wanted to do that, if you wanted.

[Addie]

I actually have them in my bag right now.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Sorry. I still like to see those questions.

[Abby Howard]

It was very last minute. It was very intense.

[Addie]

It was very last. Very intense. But it was funny.

[Abby Howard]

It was a fun day. And now Addie's 25. I stopped aging mentally at 25. So really, I think 25 is a great year. And I think I just, like, sat on that one for a while.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes. I'm sitting on 23. It's too much. I think it's too young. I think I've said that before.

[Abby Howard]

23.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I keep telling people, like, yes, we're in our young 20s. And then I'm around 23 year olds and there is a stark contrast.

[Abby Howard]

You feel it?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Like I23, I feel that.

[Addie]

I'm like, I can't. I don't feel like I could say that yet. But sometimes I'm around like 20 and 21 year olds and I'm like, I'm starting to feel older than you. Maybe it's because I have a baby now and I'm like, been married for a few years. It's still the freshness of all of it. But I'm like, wow, I am getting older.

[Abby Howard]

I really don't know how to talk to high schoolers.

[Addie]

I feel like they're the hardest group.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I think in my head I'm like my peers. And then I'm probably like the old lady.

[Addie]

I think middle schoolers, I feel like, are harder to talk to really than high schoolers.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I feel like middle schools, Middle schoolers are just children. So, yeah, they're so, so babies. But then I look back and I think, or I think back to what I used to talk about, think about in middle school. And I'm shook into my core.

[Abby Howard]

Not innocent.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I remember I switched from a Catholic elementary school to public school and I just learned so much that first.

[Abby Howard]

What's wild is that I went to public school the whole time and I never learned. It's such a bubble.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It was good.

[Abby Howard]

So happy birthday to Addie. Thank you, guys. Yeah. Our in laws came in town this weekend. Me and Abby's in laws.

[Abigail (Abby)]

We had a busy Weekend. It was. I mean, it was so fun having them here.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

You guys were gone for a lot of it.

[Abby Howard]

We were gone for three nights. We actually came back early because we were just, like. We missed the kids.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Three nights is really the max, I feel like. And we got there late one night, but, no, it was good. And it was busy. And then it was, like, the perfect amount. Like, it started to just feel like a good time to leave and come back home. But we went to a marriage conference, learned about money. I hate talking about money.

[Abigail (Abby)]

What did you. Excuse me. What did you learn?

[Abby Howard]

I learned that we do need to have a budget and talk about that.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know. It's so important. I talk about all the time on my accounts, and then every time Caleb brings it up, I'm like, oh, look at that.

[Abby Howard]

It pushes me into, like, a fear space, like, with money, which is, like, supposed to be the opposite. Like, if I actually have this conversation, I wouldn't feel that way. Right. So we do need to do that. And so we have it on the calendar for the top of March to do.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes.

[Abby Howard]

And hopefully we'll start doing that monthly then. So half of it was money, and then half of it was, like, marriage specific. And I told you on Sunday that I was like. The line that we, like, learned and took away from it is to say to your spouse whenever you're, like, having some type of conflict or dispute or not even, like, even just, like, thinking something about them that's not positive, that you say, the story I'm choosing to tell myself is. And then you kind of can say, which sounds wordy, but I feel like when you put it into practice, it's really good because it's like, taking ownership of, like, this is not necessarily true. Like, this is what I'm gathering, but this also is how I'm feeling. And it kind of just makes you feel like. So you don't go to contempt. Like, in a relationship where you just, like, believe these nasty things about your partner, and then it's really hard to recover from.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

But, yeah, I think that was a good line to. Because that was, like, for the conference of, like, how to resolve conflict.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I think so practically. How to use that. Let's just use the example.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Caleb was like, I hate your shirt. And then I would go to him and say, the story that I'm telling myself is that you think I'm ugly and you hate me.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's how you would.

[Abby Howard]

Okay.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Okay. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Or, like, say, that's an extreme, obviously. Or say, like, they're on their phone. Like, say your spouse is on their phone a lot. Like, this is the example I think they use.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Like, okay, yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I'm choosing to tell myself is that you don't care about me.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Okay.

[Abby Howard]

Or you don't enjoy spending time with me. And so you're looking for. I'm not an expert on this, but that's what I gathered from it. And I feel like that would be like, useful, like a useful line.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I feel like that kind of cuts the chase. Like, it's not like I'm dancing around, oh, something you said couldn't hurt my feelings. It's kind of like, hey, this is what I believe.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Is that wrong or is it?

[Abby Howard]

And it's like, why it's bothering you too? Because it's not like. Because then I feel like it can become passive. It's like, oh, is there something really interesting on your phone? Like, but then it's like getting to the point of, like, why this bothers you. And it's like, oh, that's not. And if that's not true, then you can clear that up. And then they can also hopefully change your behavior as well.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I'm such a passive aggressive person.

[Abby Howard]

Really?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. I didn't. I didn't know I was, but I am. And in my head I'm telling myself that I'm nicely pointing out something that's bothering me. But then Caleb's like, will you just tell me what's up?

[Abby Howard]

Like, instead of being passive, I'm a straight up girl.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, I'm always like, oh, is something funny over there? Or something funny on your phone? You know, like, I'm just. So instead of just be like, hey, put your phone down.

[Abby Howard]

Put your phone down. Or say the story I'm choosing to

[Abigail (Abby)]

tell myself, the story I'm choosing to tell myself is that you hate me, you don't want to spend time with me. No, that's really good, Abby. That's a good tip. I was telling you, I feel like after this weekend, we had so much fun with our in laws and just coming off of the crazy weeks that we talked about last week. I obviously sound congested because I am. So yesterday I took a sick day and Abby said, what does a sick day look like when you're a mom?

[Abby Howard]

I was like, what does that mean? And you said, and it was nice.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, it was nice. I was just in my PJs literally all day until 3pm and then I took an everything shower. And that was the day.

[Abby Howard]

How'd you take a shower at 3pm well, they're napping. Oh, okay.

[Abigail (Abby)]

But I also did have to shower the dog, so it wasn't like a relaxing everything shower. It was literally, I showered everything. Ew. Myself and the dog.

[Addie]

Ew.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Lewis is a horse. So the only way that I can shower him is if I physically bring him in to the shower. And I have a handheld, but I get so wet because he's massive that I just shower anyway.

[Abby Howard]

Have you recharged your clippers?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Caleb bought new ones.

[Abby Howard]

Okay. We came over to their house on Valentine's Day evening right when we got home. And Lewis's legs are, like, long and fur and long and matted.

[Abigail (Abby)]

His head and body are fully shaved. And then his. He looks like a butt. Yeah. What's the sceptar? Is that what it is? Where? It's like, centaur? Yeah. He's very hurt. Fur in the bottom.

[Abby Howard]

He looked rough.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It looks so bad. Yeah. No, the Kilpers gave out halfway through his haircut, so we had to buy new ones.

[Abby Howard]

Well, yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Busy weekend for everyone.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, it was good.

[Addie]

Made me think of. I texted Abby and Matt last night because Blake came up with this idea that you guys should do a parent swap. Like you guys swap kids and dogs for a day for a video. And I'm just like. Or you could just do the dogs. And it's like, mad Abby have to give Lewis a haircut.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, my God. To shower, it would take six hours.

[Abby Howard]

I would have to call somebody.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Kayla's back hurts, and by the end of it, he's so frustrated.

[Addie]

He's.

[Abby Howard]

Does he stay still sometimes?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, he's gotten better at it over the years. No, not for me, but he does for Caleb. Yeah. That's a good idea, Addy. I like that idea.

[Abby Howard]

We'll have to do it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Caleb did so many house projects this weekend. He worked almost 80 hours last week. And then he came home and, hey, baby. The ceiling fan. Like, you have a day, you know? So he did the ceiling fan, and then he switched out our garbage disposal. Cause it went out. And he replaced our sink faucet. He's been on a tear.

[Abby Howard]

When I found out that your garbage disposal was out, I was like, oh, crap. I've put a lot of things down

[Abigail (Abby)]

while it's out at the super bowl party, but a lot of stuff backed up and I was like, how do we handle this? So Caleb just replaced it. I know. It never smelled, thankfully. Yeah. At least not that I knew of.

[Abby Howard]

No. My disposal smells and it works, so.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, it's impressive.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So he did a lot of things around the house, which was great.

[Abby Howard]

Wow, that's crazy. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. All right, that's enough of that. I am really anxious to talk about this week's. Wow.

[Addie]

This is.

[Abby Howard]

Wow, that's crazy.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. We told you what it was, which

[Abby Howard]

is against the rule.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I suggested it. You did.

[Abby Howard]

This is when I knew what was happening. I had a little extra screen screen time.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, Abby's back online just in Nashville.

[Abby Howard]

I really got to get under control again, though, because I was, like, just without kids. Yeah. I was like, I'm just gonna scroll, and I don't actually fully understand what's happening, but I think I get the gist of it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Same. Yeah. We're talking about the Freedom mom scandal and everything going on with their company and their marketing tactics, because they are salacious.

[Abby Howard]

You would have thought that their product was, like, an adult toy of some sort.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know. So, okay, let's give a little recap for the people maybe don't know what's going on. Freedom mom is a company that does a lot of baby products, postpartum products for moms. Super, super popular.

[Abby Howard]

That's all they do.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's all they do.

[Abby Howard]

Right.

[Abigail (Abby)]

And they're very good at what they do.

[Abby Howard]

Everything.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. I love, love, love the snot sucker. I think it saved my kids lives multiple times. I'm not kidding. That's a. I think gets the snow not out of their brains. It's really effective. So I feel like it's been a little.

[Abby Howard]

We had all their things. We had the clippers, the postpartum. Well, first of all, the postpartum kid. A lot of their breastfeeding things, like the warmers, the pads, like, all that stuff. We had the baby clippers, the. We had the thermometer, everything.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. So they're very.

[Abby Howard]

Still having problems.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Successful company. And I feel like it's just started to come to light that their marketing in their branding on their packaging is very sexual, which I've never noticed before.

[Abby Howard]

Never noticed it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

And I have.

[Abby Howard]

We're so tired. Who's looking? Who's looking at it closely?

[Abigail (Abby)]

And also, it's a baby product. Like, I'm just not expecting anything exciting on the packaging.

[Abby Howard]

I always thought it was, like, cheeky and fun.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

But I never thought I was talking about threesomes.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Right. And pulling out. And it's so.

[Abby Howard]

It's so crazy thing that's like. I'm confused.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I can even say it without feeling disgusting about it.

[Abby Howard]

I'm Confused why. It's also just now becoming like a. Like, why are we. How are you. How are we just noticing this? And also, what about just. Maybe just someone brought it up?

[Abigail (Abby)]

I don't know. I thought it was AI, to be honest, when I first saw it real, I literally was like, that's not real. I've used. You know what I mean? And some of these posts that have come to light are from 2020.

[Abby Howard]

That's what I heard.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Like, the one that I thought was really crazy, there's a picture of a baby. It's a cartoon, and it's a rectal thermometer, and it says, the closest your husband will ever get to a threesome. That was the caption on their Instagram post. That's crazy. That's crazy.

[Abby Howard]

So crazy.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. So I feel like they're coming. Definitely come under fire. They have. They're doing a Mardi Gras campaign right now, which I actually. I don't agree with it personally, their decisions here, but I actually think it's kind of interesting, and I think it's appropriate for the setting of Mardi Gras. They're doing a. They're trying to, like, to get away the stigma of breastfeeding. Being weird in public.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Which is great.

[Abby Howard]

Yes.

[Abigail (Abby)]

And so they're saying, if you can flash your boobs at Mardi Gras for beads, then you can be able to put your boobs out to breastfeed.

[Abby Howard]

Totally agree with that.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. I don't think that's, like, inherently wrong. I did block them on Instagram when I saw the post because their first post on their feed was just a girl flashing her boobs at Mardi Gras. Full boobs.

[Addie]

The last two posts are both censored. Like, I can't click on them unless I click. I would like to see.

[Abby Howard]

And they still have them up.

[Addie]

Yeah. They haven't posted anything since a week ago.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, they've been coming under a lot of heat. Yeah. I just think it's a little concerning. I understand the marketing mind behind it. Like, hey, sex sells. If you do things that are outrageous, it creates viral content that people then talk about, which then promotes sales. So I understand, like, the rage bait side of it. I understand, like, the wanting to get people talking side of it and being bold. But I do feel like it's missed a mark. And I also think about, like, the Balenciaga scandal a few years ago where they did the same thing. And I think it's different when it comes to kids. Like, you can't be really pushing the boundary in this realm when it comes to children.

[Addie]

I just got chills you mentioning the Balenciaga thing.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Do you remember that, Abby?

[Abby Howard]

I don't know enough about it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

They had a campaign that was really. It just promoted. It looked. Made kids look like they were in really inappropriate, like, S M type stuff. It was really inappropriate. So, yeah, I just feel like it's kind of tone deaf.

[Abby Howard]

Totally.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I think. Is it enough for you guys to not buy Frida Moms anymore?

[Abigail (Abby)]

I was actually thinking about that. I am not one to ever really, like, be a canceler. I will still buy this. Not sucker, but if there's two products next to each other and one is a Freedom mom and one is a different brand and they're the same quality, I'll go with the other brand.

[Abby Howard]

Mmm.

[Addie]

Yeah. I'll probably still get the. I just. I did really like the product. I mean, I. Again, it's. I don't like what they've done, but also, I think I probably will still buy the product.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Are you the same?

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. I mean, I haven't used a lot of that stuff because it's like, all. Mostly baby. But I also remember being like, that was usually one of the only retailers that sold that category in store, so I feel like it would require an extra step, I think, for me.

[Addie]

And more specifically, what I'm saying is, like, the postpartum packaging, like, that was so great. It literally is a diaper caddy with all the things in it just put it on there with. Or the breast stuff that you can just get a package of all the things you need. And I'm sure there are other people who do that as well, and so I'd be open to it. But I've been seeing people throw away the things they currently have.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh. I mean, I understand what people do. I'm like, yeah, if you want to do it, you know, I agree with that decision. I think there's, like, a huge market now. Like, you're saying, addie, there aren't a lot of other brands that do these kits that do. So if you're a brand that wants to step in the market now, there's kind of a gap. Freedom mom has been pushed to the side a little bit. You can take over and do it better.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. This isn't something you really forget. Like, I feel like this is something you're gonna keep kind of remembering.

[Addie]

It is so interesting that they've probably had this on their marketing for a long time and we haven't noticed it yet.

[Abby Howard]

I feel like the most crazy things that were light on their Instagram. Right. Which I didn't follow or, like, look at closely.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. I never did.

[Abby Howard]

But you see this pattern brought throughout their, like, whole thing. Like, what was it?

[Addie]

That's what I was saying. A lot of their captions and their content is kind of in that, like, joking about, like, things sexually. And so it's interesting that We've never known 446,000 people follow their Instagram, which is I'm sure has been dropping. I'm sure people are unfollowing. So I can only imagine how many people were following before.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I mean, I'm sure it started just as, like, funny parent humor stuff, which was a great tactic. And then I probably just went too far.

[Addie]

That's what this says. It says others are saying the brand intended to use adult humor to make light of the realities and frustrations of parenting, not to sexualize children, but acknowledge it cross a line for many.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Which I don't have. They apologized yet?

[Addie]

Not on Instagram.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Okay, that's a bad look.

[Addie]

Okay, what the company has said so far, at the moment, Frida Baby has not issued a detailed public apology addressing all the specific claims. And that's if we're telling people today's date. That is Wednesday the 18th.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Okay. Yeah. Well, we're gonna keep the conversation going for at least another week because this will be posted a week from now.

[Abby Howard]

But yeah, the things that really bother me, like, the. The boob stuff, I'm like, yeah, I think breastfeeding should be normal. Like, I think that I just didn't like the sexual nature of the needed the thermometer. The threesome thing is so beyond inappropriate that it's like, how are we just now?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Right?

[Abby Howard]

Bringing that, like, that's. It makes me actually like. Like, I feel like I could. Like, it brings up so many, like, anger, sad, like deep sadness. Just like, it's like, that should be the safest person. Is that baby, dad and mom. And like, that is just not.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, that is.

[Abby Howard]

So whose brain even goes there to think of making that joke?

[Abigail (Abby)]

I don't know.

[Addie]

And so what do you think if they rebranded their. Because I. Again, we just talked about cancel culture and being like, okay, I'm never gonna buy them ever again. What if they come out? They're like, we see that this cross the line and they change their packaging.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Like, I think that's great.

[Addie]

Is that.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I think it's always good to. For people to be able to like, I. I understand. I feel like. Remember the Paul brothers? I Like, Logan and Jake Paul talked about this a lot. Sometimes you just get blinded in the pursuit of a goal, and you just lose sight of your North Star. And sometimes you just take things too far. And so I think it's. That is where I think Cancel Culture can sometimes be good. It's like, I would not cancel culture, but I think calling out a company when they have crossed the line and taken it too far, it's good to point them back.

[Abby Howard]

Right.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, I would still give them an opportunity to apologize.

[Abby Howard]

I would still buy their product for, like, a future baby. But I, like you said, if there was, like, a thing where I was like, oh, there's both, I maybe opt for the other one. Just. I don't know.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I think about Scrub Daddy because Scrub Daddy has. I think they have very similar marketing tactics to Scrub Daddy. You know, the sponges.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, it was a sponge.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's what I'm saying. It's like the product is so different that it was Scrub Daddy. It's, like, funny. It makes sense. Well, for a baby product, the most

[Abby Howard]

precious, innocent life form right. On this planet.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Right.

[Abby Howard]

Wasn't there another one? I feel like there was another. There was, like, the. Yeah. She did post other options for, like, their signature products.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, who did?

[Abby Howard]

Her name is Jordan Lee Dooley. Do you follow her?

[Abigail (Abby)]

I don't follow her, but I know she is.

[Abby Howard]

She has, like, other baby brands that, like, have, like, similar nasal aspirators or thermometers or, like, windows windy pipe alternatives, which is, like, their gas reliever and postpartum care alternatives as well.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh.

[Abby Howard]

Which I feel like that's, for me.

[Abigail (Abby)]

What was the.

[Abby Howard]

Was the main thing I really liked was the postpartum, like, women's care, which at that point, I'm like, we can make some, like, jokes about that. That's just us and our body even still, like, maybe not, but, like, that's fine. It's really crosses the lines. Exclusively with the baby thing.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes. Yeah, I would agree. I would agree. I only really use their snot sucker.

[Abby Howard]

See, I didn't like that because I always just felt like snot was gonna get in my mouth.

[Addie]

I like the way I've not used a snot sucker ever.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Well, Brielle's nostrils are too small.

[Abby Howard]

You also have to change those. You're supposed to change those are single use.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes. I didn't realize that for a long time,

[Abby Howard]

and I just couldn't keep up with the single use thing.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, it's not a single use for me.

[Abby Howard]

Okay. Gross.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I do change them out frequently? No, not frequently. Every once in a while.

[Abby Howard]

But that's what got me when they

[Abigail (Abby)]

said that they use my nasal aspirator.

[Abby Howard]

Well, no one should be sharing anyway.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Exactly.

[Abby Howard]

It's fine. But yeah, once I said it was single use, I was like, oh, I'm out. I like the bulbs just because, you know.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Well, I would say that was a marketing fail.

[Abby Howard]

Marketing fail. Lesson learned, everybody.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Lesson learned. And you know, I feel like we all fail. Oh, free to mom. But we have some mom fails too.

[Abby Howard]

Sure.

[Abigail (Abby)]

And so do you guys. And you guys were generous to share some of your mom fails, so we thought it'd be funny if you. We shared some of the ones that you guys submitted and then we'll talk about our mom fails, and then we'll give some of our mom hacks fun.

[Abby Howard]

I love a good mom fail.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Thank you.

[Abby Howard]

If we can't laugh about some of this stuff, we're gone.

[Abigail (Abby)]

We're losers.

[Abby Howard]

We're done. We are done.

[Abigail (Abby)]

The biggest fail of them all.

[Abby Howard]

That's the biggest fail. Because no one's a perfect parent. I feel like everyone is the first to say that, but sometimes we get a little bit ashamed.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's true.

[Abby Howard]

But let's just laugh together.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Do we wanna start with our fails or their fails?

[Abby Howard]

Let's start with some of their fails.

[Addie]

Okay.

[Abigail (Abby)]

This is from Jessica. She clipped the binky clip onto her son's skin when he was two months old.

[Abby Howard]

That's actually a really sad one.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Is it like screaming, you don't know why.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, that one's a bummer.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That was sad.

[Abby Howard]

That one's a bummer. This one just says it's from Kinsey. It says, bought our kids iPads, thumbs down. That's all. That is something. That's a hard and fast rule. Hey, I don't blame you. I don't blame you. I feel like our phone was acting like that for a little bit. Like in the car just to get them to like stop screaming. And then we had to really nip

[Abigail (Abby)]

that in the bud.

[Abby Howard]

Cuz I was like, this is no different than an iPad. I'm handing you my phone.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Right.

[Abby Howard]

And so it's just a. It's a tough one to take back is the problem.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Sometimes it's hard to reel back in.

[Abby Howard]

She said, that's all.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's all.

[Abby Howard]

This is. You live and you learn.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Kenzie, you do live and you learn. This is Mariah. This one's a little crazy. She said, I put Addie's lips in it. This is crazy. I put cayenne pepper on my 9 month old's food to get him used to spice quote. I def traumatized him.

[Abby Howard]

There is something to that, though. There was a little girl that I babysat. Her family was Indian and so their cuisine was different.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, if you have spicy cuisine, you gotta get your kid used to it.

[Abby Howard]

She was way more tolerant of it than I was. We were eating fish. She was like one. We were eating fish. And the mom also left enough food for me. It was a more like a mommy's helper situation. I was there the whole time and so I was eating my fish and I. Cayenne pepper's really spicy. So spicy. That's a crazy. I mean, chili pepper or chili powder would have been like still kind of spicy. But I ate my fish and I was like, literally felt like there was steam coming out of my ears. I had no tolerance. I had the widest food ever growing up. And I literally did not know how to ask this woman for water. I go to the bathroom, the door is closed, cracked. Drinking from the bathroom sink. And she comes in, she's like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, I will never forget that. I was humiliated. Meanwhile, the one year old's housing.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, she loves the fish.

[Abby Howard]

She loves it. We had these same fish.

[Abigail (Abby)]

She's like more cayenne mom.

[Abby Howard]

She can't even talk and she's just eating such spicier food than me. But I mean, that's hilarious. Maybe not spice, maybe flavor.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know Caleb tried to give CJ hot sauce and. Yeah, I think he didn't like that either. Just like a little dollop on his pinky and I don't know, I have like the mildest tongue and I think my son has inherited that.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, we gave him that elote chip from Trader Joe's and he started crying.

[Abigail (Abby)]

He started crying. He's like rubbing his tongue to try to get it off. It was really sad. That was also Gil. That was also Gill. We've all been there, Mariah.

[Abby Howard]

This one is from Mama Converse. My daughter ate an entire tub of margarine while I had a shower. Diaper was bad.

[Addie]

Later.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Entire tub.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, no.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know, but honestly, you're like, what's.

[Abby Howard]

When you're.

[Abigail (Abby)]

We gotta weigh our odds here. I'd rather shower, honestly.

[Abby Howard]

That's what's so scary. I just would sprint.

[Abigail (Abby)]

You were in the shower for five minutes and you come out and you're like, what am I gonna find?

[Abby Howard]

I'm scared. And when it's quiet, it's worse.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, you know it. This Is Mazzy. She said, I hid my toddler's Valentine's candy so he forgot about it. And I eat some each night.

[Abby Howard]

Everyone does that.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I have done that, Sally.

[Abby Howard]

I dropped my phone on my baby's head during a 3am feed.

[Addie]

I've done that.

[Abby Howard]

Really? I feel like I probably have, too.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, that one's sad.

[Abby Howard]

That is so sad. What a bad wake up.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I feel like in middle school I used to do that where I lay like this and just.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, the worst.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's just so dumb. Like, why did I do that?

[Abby Howard]

Poor baby.

[Abigail (Abby)]

My son, Grace. This is from Gracie. My son was crawling around making a sucking noise, and I thought he just learned a new sound. Then he coughed. A leg flew out. The kid was sucking on a cricket for like an hour. He coughed and a leg flew out. He was sucking on a cricket.

[Abby Howard]

A cricket.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Edible, though.

[Abby Howard]

I mean, there could be worse things.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I think there's good protein.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, that feels.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That feels actually great for him.

[Abby Howard]

This one's from Emory. It says, breastfeeding a blanket in the middle of the night, not my baby.

[Abigail (Abby)]

LOLs.

[Abby Howard]

That's sleep deprivation.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Okay. With Vivian, I was trying to put her pinky in her mouth, but she was in the bassinet, and I kept trying to get it. I was like, why is she not taking it? I open my eyes and look over. I'm putting it in her ear. She's like, that's not gonna do it. Augur said, my son was on my lap. A spider crawled onto his hand. I shoved him off so fast.

[Abby Howard]

Sad. That's just one of those things. You can't slow it down once it started.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I mean, honestly, good reaction time.

[Abby Howard]

This past weekend at my house, I was like, what kind of bug is that? And you just go, dead.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That was so aggressive.

[Abby Howard]

I'm not afraid of bugs.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Are you afraid of bugs?

[Abby Howard]

No. Yes. That wouldn't.

[Abigail (Abby)]

What bug is this? A dead bug.

[Addie]

I think it's funny that we're reading these because it's all these people are also recognizing the air fails. It's not like they're like, this is a great thing I did.

[Abby Howard]

Oh. I mean, hey, thank you guys for sharing that. Less than ideal. Okay, this is a longer story that someone submitted. I couldn't find out where my pads and tampons were going for three months straight. Wow. Every month I thought. Every month I thought I was stocked up for the next month. And yet somehow they were always completely gone when I needed them. This week, we had painters come in to paint a few rooms. They ended up Having to move a few pieces of furniture. And I was helping move some stuff out of the way when one of the guys moved our coffee table. The coffee table is pretty big, but also super low to the ground, so you can't really look under it. Underneath was a massive pile of all my missing products, I kid you not, half a year's worth. Apparently my toddler had been transporting my stuff from the bathroom drawer and I'd shoving it under the table for safekeeping or something. The guy was obviously taken aback. He just tried to pretend it wasn't there and stepped over it all. I was mortified. Anyways, make sure you don't wait three months to vacuum under any piece of furniture, especially if you've had toddlers.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's hilarious. The movie guys like, oh, sorry, excuse me.

[Abby Howard]

That was a thing at Disney because in the women's restrooms at Disney, they have free feminine products.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Griffin, Augie, think they're souvenirs?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, of course.

[Abby Howard]

They're just like pushing the button and getting them. And I'm like, those are for women, right? Those are for women. Right back.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Dang, what an expensive hobby that kid had. Taken all your damn. Okay, this one, she said, my bestie's motherhood mishap. She was cleaning the bathroom in the new house they had just bought and her one year old son was playing behind her. When she turned around, she found him playing with the toilet brush and put. Putting it in his mouth. But the worst part is, it was the previous owner's toilet brush.

[Abby Howard]

Not even their own poopy germs. That is so bad. I'm dying. That is so bad.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I am dying. I. Oh my God. I think I. I don't. That would be a. Caleb would have to handle that one.

[Abby Howard]

I can't tell you how many times as a parent I say, you have no idea where that's been. You have no idea. You have no idea what it's been. Okay, this one says, when I went to cut my daughter's nails for the first time. Oh, so many of these learning lessons. I ended up clipping part of her finger. So much blood. She was fine. I ended up passing out twice. Seeing all her. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. This is coming from a nurse who has been elbows deep inside women's ears. It's your own kid, baby.

[Abigail (Abby)]

You're just like, I know. I think about it all the time. I'm like, I'm not grossed out by bloody things or gases. Like, I love saying that, but I imagine it on cj. And I immediately want to throw up. I know. Okay, last one. My husband forgot to put a diaper on her baby before bed one night. We didn't realize until I woke up to feed her at 2am and couldn't figure out why she was so happy.

[Abby Howard]

Last night Matt did that. Last night, Matt didn't put a pull up on Griffin.

[Abigail (Abby)]

The first diaper that I ever put on cj, right after he was born, I put it around his thighs and not even cover his butt. And Caleb lifted him up and goes, what are you doing? I go, I just had surgery.

[Abby Howard]

I just had surgery. I don't know.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Thank you guys for sharing those. Those are awesome. We had some relatable. Yes. So relatable. I feel like we've all done some of these, so we thought we'd share some of ours. Here's my first mom fail. Okay, I think you've heard this story before. Our backyard is very safe. And so I'll just let CJ go out the doors and just play in the backyard. And he was maybe a one and a half. I would never put his shoes on him to go outside because that keeps him away from the dog poop and the rocks. So he just goes on the turf barefoot. And he's usually concealed well. This day I put his shoes on him. I don't know why. And I let him and Lewis run out the door.

[Abby Howard]

That's recent.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, he was like one and a half. Oh, I let him run out the door. I go into my pantry to grab a snack to bring outside with me. I look out the window of my pantry that goes into my backyard, and all I see is CJ's hand in my horse of a dog's P rod. Just. He's peeing so hard. And CJ's hand is just in his phone. He's just sticking it in his stream. And I, like, run out there and go, cj, no. And he looks me dead in the eyes, and one word goes, hot.

[Abby Howard]

Probably was hot.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So he immediately got a bath. He's just covered in pain as a dog.

[Abby Howard]

So gross.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It was so gross. I said, okay, no more of that. No more. I will be out there immediately with you. Dang it.

[Abby Howard]

Snowshoes.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Honestly, him and Lewis go out in shifts.

[Abby Howard]

Go out in shifts. This one's not even funny. This one just still makes me sad.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, great.

[Abby Howard]

Okay.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Different vibe.

[Abby Howard]

Everything's fine. But okay. So one of our kids is. Sleeps like a rock, and one of our kids not so much. And so we never, like, our youngest just, like, doesn't wake up in the night, like, consistently. Never does. One night, we heard him make, like, a couple sounds, look on the monitor, don't see anything. And then he just went right back to sleep. It wasn't like he was even crying, but he just kind of was, like, making sounds, which was really unusual because he, like, goes to sleep, stays asleep the whole night.

[Addie]

Right.

[Abby Howard]

The next morning when I get him out of his crib, puke everywhere. I was so sad.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, he's just sleeping in it. He's just sleeping in it.

[Abby Howard]

Sleeping in it, sleeping in it. It smelled so bad.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, gosh. I was like, buddy, oh, makes me so sad.

[Abby Howard]

And so now I'm like, that just makes my anxiety with this freaking sleep and monitor thing just so much worse.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

And so after that, every time I'm like, go check on right now. Right now, he's like, he literally just sneezed. Like, everything is fine. But, like, I just felt so guilty that he, like, slept in that.

[Abigail (Abby)]

But yeah, I actually, as a kid did that. I was a little older. I remember throwing up around me. And my mom came up the next morning because I guess I normally wake up earlier. I did not come down. So she finally came up to check on me, and she's like, when I was coming up the stairs, I was smelling like bad smells. And I was laying there fully awake with my hands in the air. And she goes, abby, why didn't you come get me? And I look at her, I go, I didn't want to get my hands dirty, so I just laid in my. I'm covered. Covered in vomit, but didn't want to get my hands dirty. Me and Matt are the same.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Okay, this next mom fail. This happened recently, actually. We went to the magic House in St. Louis over winter break. Did I tell you this story?

[Abby Howard]

Maybe?

[Abigail (Abby)]

And they have this thing called. It's like a super slide.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, I heard this from Teresa.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's for ages three plus, CJ is two and a half, and he's like a big kid, so he was a little scared. So we were encouraging it. We're like, cj, you're gonna do great, buddy. You can go down the slide. It's gonna be so fun. You go down slides all the time. It's so sweet. It's like a three story tunnel slide. It is aluminum. It's large, and as you go down the steps, it has windows. As a parent, you can watch your kid as they're going down each level. The visual image just came out.

[Abby Howard]

Well, because we went on the same slide a week later or whatever it was. Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So I was like, oh, my gosh. I tell you what happened. Okay? So we're, like, cheering him on. We're encouraging him. We're saying, cj, cope. You got this, buddy.

[Abby Howard]

Be brave.

[Abigail (Abby)]

We send him down the slide. We start walking down the first flight.

[Abby Howard]

Display window, big display, massive display window.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I just see a washing machine. Kid tumbled down and aluminum. Aluminum. She's tumbling down this slide, screaming.

[Abby Howard]

It's just like a flash in the

[Abigail (Abby)]

pan, just flashing past me, just tumbling, child.

[Abby Howard]

And I go, oh, my gosh. Flights of stairs. It's three stories.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Three flights of stairs. Like, three big stories. So I'm running down the stairs, and I'm yelling to my sisters at the bottom. I go, cj's falling. He tumbled down the entire side. My sister's at the bottom to catch him. She says, he comes down head first, laying on his back. Okay. He started feet first, forward. How did that even happen? I think he put his feet down and tripped over him. I felt horribly horrible.

[Abby Howard]

So we only went down once.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Only went down once, and I said, we're never doing that again.

[Abby Howard]

We were stuck at that sign for a really long time.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, my gosh. It was so. It was like a movie. Like just a picture.

[Abby Howard]

You look.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's just a flash of, ah, like, down the window. It was horrible.

[Abby Howard]

Teresa made this. Wait, was Theresa there?

[Abigail (Abby)]

No. Oh, no.

[Abby Howard]

You must have told me this.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I did tell her about it. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. Oh, huge.

[Abigail (Abby)]

This one was.

[Abby Howard]

This one was so bad. Okay, let me preface this by saying we don't have Nerf guns in our house. I'm not strongly opposed to them, but I just feel like it's something that once we introduce.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, you're never going back.

[Abby Howard]

Never going back. And it will be. I will find bullets everywhere. And I just feel like we need to have more conversations about them because they can actually seriously hurt your eye.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Matt.

[Abby Howard]

I got really hurt by Nerf.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know. I'm kind of anti. And so.

[Abby Howard]

And I don't even know, but, like, little boys tend to just create guns out of anything they do. Shooter. Shooter, shooter. I'm like, they just made up the word shooters.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know. So you go, yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Like, weird. I feel like it will happen eventually, but let me just say, our kids had not seen a Nerf gun before. We're playing at someone else's house, and Griffin brings it up to me, and he's like, mom, like, I want. He wanted to play with it, and he didn't know what to do. And I'm like, oh, buddy, look. And I'm like. I show him a gun, and I'm like, you just push this. Shoot under bullets.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So stupid.

[Abby Howard]

No one told me he's bringing a locked and loaded Nerf gun to me. He brought it to you. He's asking you to shoot him in the face? No. He's like, how do you use it? He didn't even ask me to. He certainly didn't ask me to shoot him. But I'm like, oh, buddy. You see this?

[Abigail (Abby)]

I cry. I literally cry.

[Abby Howard]

I think it was really fun.

[Addie]

You just.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I don't know if I don't like this toy.

[Abby Howard]

The way he looked at me,

[Abigail (Abby)]

the shock.

[Abby Howard]

I'll never forget it. It was literally like my own mom.

[Abigail (Abby)]

The betrayal. The betrayal he felt.

[Abby Howard]

I'm laughing, but also, I was like, oh, my gosh.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abby Howard]

The way that he just literally looked at me like my own mother.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I dare say.

[Abby Howard]

Why are you treating me like this? I was like, I am so. And I was like. And that's a really good lesson.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Never aim it at your face.

[Abby Howard]

Never aim him at people's face. Sorry, I don't even. I was on someone else's face. They went, there's a witness to the surface. I was like, oh, my gosh.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, my gosh. Sorry about that, buddy.

[Abby Howard]

Go play. Thank goodness I didn't get his eye. Woo.

[Addie]

Don't tell him.

[Abby Howard]

What about the calligraphy? That's so bad.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's so funny. Because that's so funny. You know why that's funny? Because we all do it. We all do it.

[Abby Howard]

I was like, oh, buddy.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Let me just. I was trying to show CJ how to use one of those punch balloons on a string.

[Abby Howard]

Okay.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I didn't hit him, but I go, cj, look. And I went, boom. And it just broke my chandelier. That light went pop.

[Abby Howard]

It's so fun.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I had it for two seconds. I go, that's an outside balloon, buddy.

[Abby Howard]

It's an outside balloon.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abby Howard]

That was so.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's a good one. Thanks for sharing that.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. Thank you for your transition.

[Addie]

Transparency.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Okay, so this other one was recent. CJ Transitioned from his crib to his big boy bed. And, you know, they have to learn how to sleep not moving in all directions at night. So you get in the pillow and the blanket. And I was like, well, it's a nap first, so it's fine if he doesn't sleep well. He slept. He fell asleep fine. He was like, I love this bed. I'M gonna fall asleep. Abby's rolling her eyes. He's always been a very easy sleeper. So I'm, like, working, and the floors in our house are all tile. Like, hard, hard tile. And I don't know. This was such a mom fail. All of a sudden, I'm working, and I hear conk. Silence.

[Abby Howard]

He does have long.

[Abigail (Abby)]

He stops breathing for so long. And I run in there because I know immediately this kid just fell out of bed. He's laying out of his crib fully upside down, stuck in a scorpion. His feet are touching the back of his head, and he's just not breathing, just stunned. Like, you think about it, he was in a dead sleep. A dead sleep. And he's upside down, head on the floor, just crying. And I'm like, I am such an idiot. Why didn't I put a pillow, a blanket? Why did I move his foam pad just 2 inches to cover the floor? Poor kid. Head injury that day. Yeah. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

That wasn't even the one I was thinking of.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, what was I was thinking of

[Abby Howard]

when you're in Missouri. Oh, we should insert an image visual aid for this one.

[Abigail (Abby)]

This one we had cj, you know, we're like, he's been in his taller bed, so he's like, you got it, buddy. A mattress on the floor. We're not gonna bring your pack and play. You'll sleep great. The kid is poor. Kid is terrified to fall asleep on this mattress in the middle of the floor. He wakes up, I guess he fell off the bed in the middle of the night. Wakes up under, like, the bed frame of the bed next to him, the mattress off of it. Well, Caleb was gonna have him sleep in it on the bed frame. I was like, caleb's bed too tall. Like, I think he's going to fall off. You learned. Moved the mattress on the floor. Sure did fall off underneath the other bed. Woke up horrified. He woke up not breathing. So scared.

[Abby Howard]

This show, Deep Sleeper.

[Abigail (Abby)]

He's a really deep sleeper. We'll insert an image of him just under this bed.

[Abby Howard]

That would be scary.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, it would be so scary. So I learned if you're transitioning your kid, put some pillows on the floor.

[Abby Howard]

Okay. This one somewhat recent. So I went to go buy dog food, and my friend works where I buy the dog food, and she carries the food out with. Very heavy. She's very strong. And so I had the kids with me. I put them in the car, but I could tell that we were gonna chat a little bit. She had some things going on, so I wanted to be a good friend and like obviously give her my full attention. I'm like, I'm not gonna strap them in their car seats. They can just roam around the car while I'm talking. We have white leather seats, which that's on us. I mean, seriously can't be mad when those get dirty. Problem is they found ink pens and so we actually got. So Matt apparently got so much heat on Instagram or TikTok or whatever because he showed him cleaning the car and he showed like, they're like, you let your kids run crazy.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Like.

[Abby Howard]

And it's like, no, I was actually a foot from them. But they clearly found a good activity because we had blue ink pen all over the white leather seats. And you know what? I didn't even really say anything to them because I was like, that's on me.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Yeah. You're like, this was. I left these two accessible.

[Abby Howard]

I left a 2 and a 3 year old in a car near a pen. I mean, I'm right next to them the whole time and I was like peeking in. I'm like, oh, they're having fun.

[Abigail (Abby)]

They're gorgey bag.

[Abby Howard]

I love that you're using their imagination.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Imagination.

[Abby Howard]

They're using their resources and usually our car is trash. I'm like, there's so many fun things for them to play with.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Nope.

[Abby Howard]

That way they found the pin of all things and it. Oh, it doesn't come out. And so we used acetone.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Took strip the leather. Strip the leather.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So you just have ink pen.

[Abby Howard]

It's there, it's there.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So what does the leather look like now?

[Abby Howard]

So the parts where the acetone was. It's like not even white. Exactly. It's a totally different finish. And it started to go to like gray.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Perfect.

[Abby Howard]

Whatever.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Well, now you just need to color the rest of the seats with the marker and just make it even.

[Abby Howard]

I was like, you know what? It's just got it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's just.

[Abby Howard]

It's gonna look bad.

[Abigail (Abby)]

We'll keep this car forever. It's ours. It's ours. That's great. That's a good fail. My last one is a newborn one because Addie said she wants to hear a newborn1. When CJ switched, he started doing formula at like 6 months. And around 7 months, Caleb was giving him a bottle and it took about 40 minutes for him to drink out of this bottle. And he was like, what is going on? Why? Well, it's taking him so long to drink this bottle. Well, turns out we had a seven month old drinking out of a Newborn nibble. That's a slow float.

[Abby Howard]

Slow flow. Trying to get 8 ounces.

[Addie]

Can I tell you my fails?

[Abby Howard]

You give him a coffee straw.

[Addie]

No, literally, I did the opposite. I went to go order her new nipples.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes.

[Addie]

She's getting to go up in size.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Choke like.

[Addie]

Yeah, we actually only have that size. We only have the bigger size. She never had a newborn nipple.

[Abigail (Abby)]

What? No wonder she didn't like nurse first.

[Abby Howard]

You gave me that bottle. No wonder.

[Abigail (Abby)]

At first she was like, nah, I'm not really interested in that.

[Addie]

No. She's like, the milk comes out so much faster than me.

[Abby Howard]

They didn't work. She wanted the bottles.

[Addie]

They were coming. She didn't want to have to work for it.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, my God.

[Addie]

So I need to. So I ordered new ones and I put them on. I said, these are the same size.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I was like, oh, my goodness. Addie.

[Addie]

Yeah, she's always had three plus month bottle nipples.

[Abby Howard]

Perfect.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Unfortunately. Oh, my gosh, that's so good.

[Addie]

But she does great. She drinks bottles.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Nice.

[Addie]

Hey, maybe that's my mom hack. She actually took once. We got a nipple show. She did breastfeeding and bottles. Perfectly fine. It could be a hack or a fail.

[Abigail (Abby)]

There you go. That was great. Thanks for laughing with us.

[Abby Howard]

Well, it wouldn't be fair if we just only talked about the fails. We gotta also talk about the wins.

[Abigail (Abby)]

We gotta talk about the hard and the hope.

[Abby Howard]

That's right. That's what this podcast is all about.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's right.

[Abby Howard]

And so not necessarily the wins, but we're gonna talk about some of our mom hacks, if you will.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I love it. Also, there's no judgment on any of those. I don't hear no judgment. We're not judging. We're not judging. We are all. That's why it's a fail. You live and you learn.

[Abby Howard]

You live and you learn.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes.

[Abby Howard]

That's the whole point of having fails, honestly. So that you learn. Don't do it again.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Don't do it again. That's right. Okay. Yeah, we have some hacks. Do you want to share your first hack?

[Abby Howard]

Yes. This one's actually kind of like a serious one. I don't know.

[Abigail (Abby)]

My first one was kind of serious, too.

[Abby Howard]

Okay. This one, we actually did it when Griffin turned one and now he's three and a half. And so we've done this for two and a half years with both of our kids, and it works really well for our kids. Now I'm going to say this like every kid's different for sure. And things that worked for one of my kids does not work for the other. Vice versa. But this works for both of them. And mine is have a family motto. And I feel like when they're young, honestly, you can start with one word, and usually we just say how words are, and then we say, like, one word that, like, so we had three, and it was really hard for them to memorize it, but they pick up quickly. And so we said, howards are patient, generous, and kind. Now, we have kind of, like, expanded on some of those, but patient, generous, and kind for us was a really good foundation because it gets a lot of those early misbehaviors, like, they don't want to share their toys. It's like, well, Howards are generous. So that's where it really helps is when you have a strong family motto. When there is a misbehavior, it. You can see where they can put it in their category. It's like, oh, this is. This isn't okay, because this is what's true about us. And so. And I also think that they really remember. I'm like, oh, but wait a minute. Howards are. And then they're like, generous.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

So patient is another one. Because obviously, little kids are like, mom, mom, mom. Or like, they need things now. There's no concept of. It's really hard for them to conceptualize, like, tomorrow or, you know, five minutes even. Right. And so it's like, we just. We are patient, and so that kind of helps. Like, those, like, whining behaviors sometimes and then kind. That kind of gets every, like, the hitting, the like, yelling, the just, like, the general, like, reaction towards other kids. Those three really surface them all. We've expanded now to also obedient, and also we've workshopped a few others that haven't worked. Like, we were thinking good friends to others. And I'm like, it's just too wordy.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Too wordy, yeah.

[Abby Howard]

So we're gonna switch it to servant hearted. Because I feel like it wasn't even just about friends. Like, it was more about, like, having servants towards others. And, like, we do these things, we make ourselves uncomfortable sometimes to serve others. So we're gonna add those two. We've already added obedient, and now we're gonna work on serve it harder, because that feels a little bit advanced, but I think we're ready for it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

[Abby Howard]

So I think having that family motto, though, is just a really good thing because we can also say it for ourselves. It's like, I'm doing this because Howards are Kind or like. And I think it can also age well with them.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Totally.

[Abby Howard]

And so whenever there is, like, a misbehavior, just constantly going back to that family motto really feels like it makes it clear for them. And it's also really concise.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes. I stole that from you.

[Abby Howard]

I didn't create this, by the way. I don't know who I got it

[Abigail (Abby)]

from, but it's good. It's really good. No, I heard you say that to Griffin when he turned one. You said Howard's DeGeneres. That's the first one I remember. And I started using that with C.J. when he got older. It also is really convenient that we have the same last name.

[Abby Howard]

Well, cj, Howard's R. Howard's R. But

[Abigail (Abby)]

yeah, the one I've been using a lot with CJ recently is Howard's. Are Howards do hard things?

[Abby Howard]

Oh, yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Because I feel like he's getting to a point where I'm like, why is he trying. Why are you being lazy? Or he's the laziness. Not lazy, but, you know, like, doesn't want to throw away his trash or do. And so I'm like, howards do hard things, buddy. Like, and I think it's been really. It's an uplifting way to instill. What's the word? Instill. Values in them.

[Abby Howard]

Right. And because I feel like to expand upon that too. I hate as a parent, when I'm constantly like, no, stop, don't. Whereas, like, this is like an actionable that they can do. It's like, mm. And cuz otherwise, I feel like it's like, well, what do you want me to do? Like, this is what I. Like my instinct is telling me to do, like, this is what, you know, human nature is telling me to do. And like. But it's like, yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's also not like you're. You're being mean. It's like, hey, Howard's. All of us are kind. So I also have to abide by these.

[Abby Howard]

Right.

[Abigail (Abby)]

And so I think it's like, it makes a family unit, which is cool.

[Abby Howard]

Right.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I really liked that when you did that. That's a great number one tip.

[Abby Howard]

Thank you.

[Abigail (Abby)]

My number one tip is I prompt the response that I want to hear. And actually heard you do this today with Griffin. You said, hey, we're leaving in one minute. Let me hear you say one minute. And then they said one minute. And I do this with cj where, especially on the more serious things, if I'm asking him to put his shoes on and get in the car and, like, some of the stuff that obviously kids just do not want to do. But I feel like these are the things in parenting that can drive you crazy, is when your kids aren't listening. And so I go, hey, cj, I'm not asking you, but I'm telling you. We're gonna put her shoes on right now, and then we're gonna get in the car. Say, yes, ma', am, and then he'll say, yes, ma'. Am. And it's kind of like this. Like, I'm prompting him, like, hey, I'm expecting the action and the response at the same. And it's obviously respectful. And I feel like that's helped us a lot with, like, a no kind of. Obviously, he's not perfect at it, but I feel like it's helped a lot with, like, the repeated begging to do things. It's like when he's like, oh, I have to respond, and I'm gonna say yes, then I'm gonna do it. And I feel like that's just been really, really helpful. And discipline and some of these parenting things that are just not so fun.

[Abby Howard]

That's a really good one, because I feel like it's easy as a mom of toddlers to just get so naggy. Like I feel myself doing. I'm like, I've told them a million times to do it. Like, should I sing it in a song? Like, what should I do to get them to actually listen? But I think you're right. Like, prompting that response. Response. It's like, okay, now I know that you know, because sometimes I'm like, I feel like I can't give you a consequence if I'm not even totally sure you heard me or we're listening. But it's like that. That, like, validates that. Okay, you did hear the expectation. Now if you make the choice to not do that, then my. It's clear for me now that you're like, howards are obedient. And so, like this, like. And so. Yeah. And also prompting respect, too, I feel like. Is really good, too.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Sometimes I'll be like, cj, put your listening ears on. He goes, no, Mom, I'm not putting my listening ear. Listening ears. Like, no, Mom, I'm not listening.

[Abby Howard]

And I listen.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I go, okay, well, we'll come back to this.

[Abby Howard]

These aren't foolproof.

[Abigail (Abby)]

They're not foolproof. These are.

[Abby Howard]

These are ideal scenarios.

[Abigail (Abby)]

These are our besties in areas.

[Abby Howard]

This one is unhinged. And so, once again, don't want to hear any judgment because it's not going to change. Don't mess with lunch.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Honestly, I love that. Abby.

[Abby Howard]

Okay, don't do lunchtime. Here's the thing. Three meals a day is crazy. It's crazy with toddlers. They don't eat that much food. And so I found myself early on with them. I was, like, constantly, like their little silicone plates, like, just dumping the entire plate and just starting again. I'm like, oh, there's still lunch on it. Now it's dinner time. Breakfast three times a day. It was driving me insane. And they also weren't eating food.

[Abigail (Abby)]

They don't care. They're playing.

[Abby Howard]

They weren't eating food. But if you present it as a snack, and it literally is a snack, which essentially is what kids lunches often are anyway, then they eat more. It's more well rounded because they look at it and they're like. They feel like they chose a snack, right? Like. Cause I'll bring an option of fruit. I'll bring, like a protein option, like a beef stick, cheese or yogurt, like, any fruit, banana, oranges, strawberries, anything. And then some type of, like, carby option, like chips, crackers, granola bar. And that's. That's lunch. That's a lunch. As lunch. I'm not gonna lay a plate down and ask you to sit down, because I'm only gonna do that fight twice a day.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Right, Exactly.

[Abby Howard]

I'm not doing that fight three times a day. That's crazy. That would be my whole day. So this is my advice to you. Don't do lunch.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Don't do lunch. It's freeing. It's freeing.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, it's done. And then you can do it on the go.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, we'll go to parks.

[Abby Howard]

And I'm like, oh, you want your snack? And then I just make sure that they get, like, one of those three things. Sometimes some extra. Hey, throw fruit snacks in there.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, of course.

[Abby Howard]

It's lunchtime.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's lunchtime.

[Abby Howard]

Act time.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's a fun time of the day.

[Abby Howard]

Don't do it. It's a trap. Seriously.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I feel like I give CJ a full breakfast and then he's like, snacks until dinner, right? He just eats all day long.

[Abby Howard]

That's all it is.

[Abigail (Abby)]

And I'm okay with it.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, their stomachs are small.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, their stomachs are small.

[Abby Howard]

They don't need to fill up three times.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, they don't.

[Abby Howard]

Crazy.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's crazy. My second one's also food related. I was having a huge issue with breakfast time, especially once I had Vivian, and I would have to Nurse in the morning, first thing. And then by the time I'd be done nursing, C.J. would be starving. Poor kid. And then it's like, okay, then I have to cook and prepare breakfast. And it was just too long of a time to go without feeding him. And so what I did was I would give him, like, a breakfast snack while I was nursing to then tide him over until breakfast. And I felt like that was like a real hack. Like, okay, I would give him one of those Oikos protein yogurts, and then I would give him his little vitamins, and that would hold him for 25 minutes until I could go make the rest of his breakfast. Because the kid's very. He loves his pancakes. That's just a time consuming task. So give your kid a little snack, like a little fruit, a yogurt before the breakfast.

[Abby Howard]

That's a good one.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Abby Howard]

I feel like we're always heading out the door too fast, that I don't have the time, but if I was nursing, that would change things.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It was really hard when you're nursing because you're just sitting there and you. Your poor kid is just waiting for you so patiently to be done, you know? And I'm like, I'm sorry.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, you're starving. You want to eat food too, right?

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know. Okay.

[Abby Howard]

This is also another, like, more serious one related to, like, behavior modification. I don't know what the word is we're used for that consequences. But I started to frame whatever our kids had a consequence. I started to really make sure, like, whatever their consequences, I kind of, like, hold that certain, like, kind of lightly. Because I'm also not exactly sure what I want to do best. I recognize that usually, like, if there's certain behaviors, especially where someone else is getting hurt, they need to be away from that situation. I don't love the idea of timeout. So usually they're in the same room as us, but just separate. And they have to be like, they can be with us. They can see with us. I would even sit with them, but we're with them. And we're kind of still workshopping that. Because I'm like, I don't know how effective this is, but I've noticed that the true, like, where I really feel like I'm reaching them after a misbehavior is the conversation after whatever the consequence was is done. And so Mat and I have both been really intentional with how we frame that resolution time. And it can be hard to do in the moment, but this framework made it Kind of seamless. So we say, why are you taking a break? And they can answer this younger than you think, why are you taking a break? And then they can usually answer. And then it says, what are you gonna do differently next time? And then, what should you do now? And those three questions really helped me feel like, okay, whatever this consequence is, I don't care that it's necessarily like, they hate whatever they're doing, but that I can come to them and really have this resolution moment. It really has been so good. And now the kids are doing this on their own. So in the car, they weren't listening. Great. Today after church. And randomly, Augie, my youngest, he goes, sorry for not listening, Mom. I'm gonna listen next time.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, my God.

[Abby Howard]

And I was like, I love that because it's like. And I made a huge deal about it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, of course. You gotta praise that. That's amazing.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. But I'm saying these three questions made it really easy for both of us to just always have this to go back to. So it felt like, okay, we're not just, like, throwing consequences at you or, like, making you not play or be with your friends, because mom and dad are mean, which also, we say this. I got this from our friend Val. She loves when we shut her up. She a really good. She's a great parent. And I learn a lot from her. And so. But something that she tells her kids, I've started telling my kids, is that everyone has. Has consequences. Because it's true. Everyone on this earth has consequences. And so I don't want them to think that. That we're specifically picking on them. Which is also why we have, like, our family motto, too. It's like, we are all held to a standard, and we're held to a standard as a family and also just, like, as citizens.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Right.

[Abby Howard]

And so, anyway, that resolution, like, moment feels really. It feels like a template that is easy to kind of make it all feel clear to everyone, like, what just happened. We don't want to just have tears. To have tears, or we don't want to just do these things. And so it really feels good. And I feel like they can start to use it on their own, too.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, that's a great.

[Abby Howard]

Because I want them to be like, sorry, sorry. That uses. That loses its meaning totally. And so that has helped a lot.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, that's really good. Something that I think I've been thinking about a lot, too, is I just want the expectations to be really clear. And so I'm trying to figure out, like, okay, the bigger, like, the more violent things are timeouts, then I don't want every thing that needs to be that everything that requires a consequence to be a timeout. So I'm like, what are other creative things that I can do in, like, the discipline realm? And then I'm like, okay, but I don't want to lose the expectations where CJ's like, what's it going to be this time? A big consequence or a little consequence? And so Kim, she's. She's been mentor for me. She did this with her kids. I thought it was a really good idea. It's an if then chart. And I think when C.J. gets a little older, I'll start implementing it when you can understand it better. But it's like, like, hey, if you hit your sister, then no fruit snacks. Or if you do this, then you get a timeout. Or if this, you know, it's like just really clear expectations of, hey, if you choose this choice, then this is it. And then it's like, really easy as a parent to, like, reflect back to it. Because I think that's the thing that you're saying too. It's really good. Is like, they're able to reflect back to these questions and be like, okay, this is how that applies. And it's like you're thinking through it, and then it's. It doesn't always have to be such a big conversation if there's the expectation.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, that clarity is really good. And also good for your husband, like husband and wife to like, okay, the same expectation holds because there's a chart. Or like, this is how we do it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes. Because sometimes that's hard. Like when Caleb's. He works normal hours, so I'll do certain things. I'll try different things with discipline. And then he'll come home and it's like, oh, no, no, I wasn't doing that today. You know, like, so it's like we had to stay on the same page. And that's like a huge.

[Abby Howard]

And now's the learning time. But also it is good to start doing those things early because they are real. They're really smart. They pick up on things really, really quickly.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, yeah. Okay, so I. For my third one, you're gonna hate me for this one.

[Addie]

Oh, no.

[Abby Howard]

Why?

[Abigail (Abby)]

My third tip is don't have the perfect environment for sleep.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, gosh. You have too much privilege to say this.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I knew you were gonna get me. I. You're gonna get me. Okay. I have. My kids are really mild temperament kids, so I understand that like, they're very just, like, they love to just lay a mom and they love to sleep. So keep that in mind. I feel like this is very dependent on kids, but something that Caleb and I talked about from the beginning was that, like, I remember reading some of the stuff about, like, having the blackout curtains and, like, the temperature of the room perfectly set and, like, just creating the perfect sleep environment for your kid. And I was like, I will definitely do that if my kid doesn't sleep, but I don't want to start out that way and then have them only be able to sleep in, like, this perfect environment. So that was kind of like my. Our last resort was like, adding in the different things if necessary. So, like, when C.J. was little, he would literally nap in a full lit room. And I wouldn't always put him in his sleep sack if he didn't need it. He always had a sound machine, which is easy, like on the go to have a sound machine, but these are just different things that I tried and I feel like it benefited. Our kids are pretty flexible sleepers, so if it's possible that you can do these things and then your kids still sleep the night, do it. But obviously, if you need to be strict. But I'm just saying don't. I wouldn't. I don't ever give the advice, like, start out super strict with sleep. Like, work your way there.

[Abby Howard]

I don't think anyone really can because they're in your room with you.

[Abigail (Abby)]

What do you mean? Like, as a newborn?

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, as a newborn. There's noise. There's like.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, but like, once you start sleep training, you know, like, Vivian now is in her crib and I vacuum during her naps. Like, her room does not have blackout curtains. Lewis is barking, you know?

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

There are different elements where I'm like, I could put the dog away and like, not clean or do certain things to, like, try to hone in to make sure her naps are perfect. But I don't. I try not to stress about it, and I think it's benefited so far.

[Addie]

Yep.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know, it's annoying.

[Abby Howard]

No, I love that for you, Abigail.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I love that. But that's my tip. Don't start strict. If you.

[Abby Howard]

We do that with. I will just give you the little caveat. We did that exact thing with Griffin.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

He slept in the room, like, in fully lit rooms. Didn't go away.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know not every kid is not gonna work for him.

[Abby Howard]

And so then we learned and did the opposite. And then our second was a much better second sleeper.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So I guess I say this because I just feel like the Internet is so, you know, like, they always want to. We talked about, like anxious moms and like, it's always like, you have to do these things. This thing, this thing, this thing, like start sleep training your kid from the day they're born. It's like, I feel like I just stressed about stuff that was not applicable. And like, I didn't have to worry about CJ's sleep until I knew if he was a good sleeper or not. And so it's like, I don't need to implement all these things to create the perfect environment until I know that my kid's not a good sleeper. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I think it's like, it's just. Let's just take the stress off and just let your kids.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. You know, this helped me. This actually helped eliminate stress for me personally, because I was like, I can recreate this. And it's. I'm sleeping, so yeah, who cares?

[Abigail (Abby)]

But the most important.

[Abby Howard]

No, I think that's. I mean, I think that's a good baseline. But I do think you learn pretty quick whether or not you're gonna have to use interventions.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, for sure.

[Addie]

I think also I would. I have struggled with that a little bit of like, we did the sleep training, we did the nap training. Brielle doesn't have like a blackout room. She. It's dark, but it's not. And we have a sound machine. But I was really worried about, like, she naps during church and so she's in the nursery in there and she's only taking 30 minute naps in there. At home, she takes two hour naps. And I'm like, that's okay. If she takes a two hour nap later, but only takes a 30 hour, 30 minute nap now, that's okay. Like having to like, really tell myself that it is what it's going to be.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes.

[Addie]

You know, and figuring that out.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I think we can get so, like, dependent on the schedule and then we become a slave to the schedule.

[Addie]

Yeah. I didn't go to church the first two weeks.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Right.

[Addie]

Sleep training. Because I was like, can't do it.

[Abby Howard]

No, I'm really pro. I'm pro. Being flexible with the schedule. Yes.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So then it's like, okay, as long as Vivi has, she's taking four naps a day. So I'm like, if she has two naps in her crib that are good, then I think that's a great day. But she's sleeping through the night. So I'M like, then if she wasn't sleeping the night, then I would adjust and be like, we gotta stay home for all for now.

[Abby Howard]

Okay, this one. This took a lot of reworking because it was a major irritation, especially with two toddlers. Keep a pair of shoes in the car.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, that's a good.

[Abby Howard]

Just a good tip. Keep them in the car and when they get home, take them off in the car. We just have car shoes. Car shoes exist because we couldn't. I. I'm telling you how many times. We'd get to a location and I'd be like, you took your shoes off after it took me so long to locate them. Get them on your feet and you

[Abigail (Abby)]

just rip them off.

[Abby Howard]

And so I was like, that was just making me so agitated. I was literally saying it till I was blue in the face. I was like, keep your shoes on. Keep your shoes on. Wear your shoes. Put your shoes on. And I was like, I'm just done with this. We're keeping shoe cars or car shoes? We're keeping car shoes. And here's my other advice. You keep the kids socks by the shoes. Because I remember so many times heading out the door, we finally found the shoes. Thank goodness. But, oh, socks are up in their bedroom.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's a good idea, Abby.

[Abby Howard]

Keep the socks by the shoes. And that can probably be, like, wherever your garage door is. And also, just keep a pair of car shoes. Don't put them on until you're at your destination.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's efficiency brain. I would never thought that, but I'm like, it is so annoying when we're out, like, get out the door and his shoes are there. And I'm like, we have forgot socks. Run back in and get socks.

[Abby Howard]

That was the last. That was my final. You need so many things to get out the door with them. I just was so tired of fighting with the shoes.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes.

[Abby Howard]

There's four feet.

[Abigail (Abby)]

The car is the ultimate diaper bag. Let's just be honest. I don't even carry a diaper bag there.

[Abby Howard]

Keep wipes.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Keep your changing pad in the car. Go change your baby in the car, your extra outfits, diapers, wipes, everything. And you'll never have to carry a diaper bag again.

[Abby Howard]

Great.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's so great. It's great. Tip, Abby. My next one. We had Santa take the binky. If you can have a fictional character take your binky, it's so much better because then there's, like, no chance of that thing coming back. You know what I mean?

[Abby Howard]

Not because he now hates Christmas and

[Abigail (Abby)]

Santa make Santa the bad guy. What a weird. Make the tooth fairy the bad guy. Make the Easter Bunny the bad guy. Make Santa the bad guy. Make a leprechaun for St. Patty's Day the bad guy. That way you don't have to do it, and you can start talking about it weeks before, hey, St. Patty's coming, and he's gonna take your binky. And it doesn't. But he's gonna leave you the leprechaun coin.

[Abby Howard]

He's a leprechaun.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, sorry.

[Abby Howard]

I get the saint.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Sorry. Saint Nick took our binkies.

[Abby Howard]

That's crazy.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's crazy, but it worked for cj. Santa.

[Abby Howard]

Santa, yeah. And you know what?

[Abigail (Abby)]

He took those binkies and he gave them to the other little boys and girls that needed them. Like Vivian. Like Vivian, yes. And then if you have a second kid, you could gift them. Just rub it in their face. I'm just kidding. But it really did work. And then, because Santa goes away, he never asked. I mean, he would ask, be like, where are my binkies? And be like, cj, Where'd they go? And he'd go, santa took them with the cookies. Saying it. And it was really easy to reference back. And then it wasn't a conversation of, hey, the binkies are. You know, you can't. Like, I've heard people plant them in the yards and, like, flowers bloom up. And I'm like, I think C.J. would have gone out there with a shovel and tried to dig them out, you know?

[Abby Howard]

Oh, we've tried everything.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know. So I'm like, we actually just tell him.

[Abby Howard]

I'm really big into telling them the truth, which is kind of the opposite. I'm like, they're messing up your teeth.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, well, Griffin's old enough to understand that.

[Abby Howard]

Now he's like, yeah, they're messing up my teeth. Yeah. And I'm like, I think it also comes down to, like, how. What kind of sleeper is your kid?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Like, if they, like, sleep. But yeah, cj, I would tell him

[Abigail (Abby)]

that leading up, I'm like, cj, you're getting buck teeth, buddy. So we gotta the beakies. They're just not appropriate.

[Abby Howard]

Well, I had the dentist have a conversation too. I mean, we really tried the fictional character. We did everything, and now we did the hack of just like. Let's just let them do whatever the heck they want. They're sleeping. No, that's a good one. That's a good one. Controversial, but good.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Sure.

[Abby Howard]

My final one is catch them doing good. I feel like this Is an obvious one. But also, it can be hard to just remember day to day as a mom. Like, whenever they do something that. Like a behavior that you want them to do more of and you know that it's especially something that they've changed. Like, it's a. You're noticing a difference. Praise the crap out of it. That's my biggest. Like, we. We like. And it's amazing how they, like, light up, and that's so meaningful to them. And so, like I said when, like, they said sorry, I was like, I really. I brought up a couple times, like, I was like, I really like how you apologized and, like, I was able to forgive you and you. And you knew why or like, whatever it is. Even them finishing their plates, we have, like, a whole song. They like. We are so proud of them for that, like, eating their meals, like, when they're supposed to. Because that's also difficult. That was also my other hack is with meals. If you're fighting with your toddler about meals, you can just say, we provide. You decide. Like, sometimes I handle that where it's like, you can decide if you're gonna get dessert tonight. Because if I'm providing you with something now, if you're trying something new, we're not gonna hold you to that same standard. But if something is like, I know you enjoy this food and you're choosing not to eat it, then you decide. You decide. And so anyway, praise the crap out of what they do, right? And I think you. I think you would be surprised. Like, you just see that behavior so much more.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, they do respond so well to that. Yeah, totally. I love when they eat the finished food. They go, auggie finished my food.

[Abby Howard]

I ate it all.

[Abigail (Abby)]

And they stand up on their chair, they go,

[Abby Howard]

you have a whole chant.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's a big deal. Okay, my last tip. This is something that we decided before CJ was born, honestly, because I saw an influencer post about it, and I was like, I'm gonna do that. We really, really try to keep screen time to the weekends. And that has been. It's crazy when cj, like, has screen time, like, TV time during the week. I just notice it a lot in his behavior. And then it's asked all the time, mom, I want to watch a show. I want to watch a show. And it's like, hey, buddy. Actually, the expectation. We just don't do that during the week, buddy. We just do it on the weekends. And it honestly, like, kind of nips a butt in the asking for it. Because I'm like, We just don't do that on Mondays. Today's Wednesday. Like you can watch TV on Saturday. And I think it's been helpful a lot during the week also for me, I think if I'm feeling tired or whatever, like, it could just be like very easy for me to want to put on a show. But then it's like, no, I should just actually put a blanket outside and we go sit in the backyard and like have imagination play or I'll sit and read my book in the backyard. So it kind of keeps me off of screens too, which I really liked. And I think it's really fostered. CJ has such a. He's really good at imaginative and individual play. And I think it's because, like, I don't have the option of TV during the week. And I think it's just been really, like.

[Abby Howard]

It's good.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's been really good in our house.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah, it's really good.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I didn't stick to that yesterday, so I'm obviously not perfect at it. But yesterday we had a sick day and so we did watch Veggie Tales.

[Abby Howard]

That's awesome.

[Abigail (Abby)]

But we've really tried to stick to it and I feel like it's kept the screen time conversation to a minimum.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah. And whatever the expectation is, I think the screens was just. It has. It's gotta stay consistent.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes.

[Abby Howard]

Because then otherwise they're like, well, wait, they'll ask for it all the time.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Totally. Like, even if it's like our Val. Hey, girl. We talk about all the time. Like they do screen time after naps and so it's just like the. Hey, no, we're not going to watch it until after. Like if you just have a set time. I feel like that's really the most helpful. Helpful. Yeah, within parameters. I feel like that's been helpful for us.

[Abby Howard]

Ask, ask, ask.

[Addie]

Abby.

[Abby Howard]

Let's do some voicemails, guys. Thank you so much to everyone who calls in and leaves us messages with a question. It can be about anything. Light hearted, silly. It can be serious. It can just be a curious question that you have about us or whatever you want. If you want to call in, the number is 602456. We'll also put it in the show notes. Here's the first one. Hi, Abby, my name is Madison and I was wondering what are your favorite parts about living in Arizona? Thank you so much.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Thanks for calling Madison. My favorite part about living in Arizona, I think there are a lot of things I really love.

[Abby Howard]

I love living in Arizona.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I love it so Much. It's so different than the Midwest. So it's also been really fun just to experience something totally different than what we had growing up. I mean, obviously the weather here is unbelievable. I just really love the access to being outside and the different options of all the things that you can do outside. There are just an endless amount of activities here that I really, really love.

[Abby Howard]

You cannot beat sunshine.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No.

[Abby Howard]

Like, when we go back home, like, I am reminded how much I take for granted the sunny days because it just affects, like, it's just so gloomy when the sun's like, we take. The sun is out basically every day. And when it's like today, oh, it's cozy. It's like a little cozy day. It doesn't even feel like there's just, like, there's just not really bad weather here. And that just makes a big difference in my motivation to, like, take care of my own health and also just, like, get out of the house and do fun things with the kids. And also our kids can like, basically always play outside. Obviously the summer is like, the more trickier time, but it's just so nice.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Let the hounds out.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Let them out, let them out. And even in the summer when it is super, super hot, like you swim

[Abby Howard]

and sprinklers, splash pads.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes. There are different. There's still activities to be outside.

[Abby Howard]

What about you, Addy?

[Addie]

I was gonna say I really like how much there is to do, but more so on the thing of, like, Blake and I both like sports and watching things like that we live in, it's living in a bigger city, but we, like, are kind of in a suburb area of Phoenix. And I feel like I really like that we can go and do major league sports or go to spring training or do these, like, cute dates, like, different places to go to. I think I really enjoy is the season I'm in right now.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Totally.

[Abby Howard]

You could never do everything, which is so different from, like, growing up in, like, a smaller for sure area.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, it's been fun. Hi, Abby.

[Abby Howard]

My name is Nevaeh and I just. The question that I had for you

[Abigail (Abby)]

all was, what is a season in

[Abby Howard]

your life that you feel like you

[Abigail (Abby)]

took for granted and you go back

[Abby Howard]

and just, like, relive every moment if you could. I love your podcast and thank you for listening.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Bye. That's a really good question. I have to think about that for a second. Thank you, Nevaeh, for that.

[Abby Howard]

That's really.

[Abigail (Abby)]

That's a thought provoking one.

[Abby Howard]

Every season of my life, I can say, like, I have Thoroughly enjoyed. I don't know that I could say the word. Like, I felt like I took that for granted. But there's really sweet things that I, like, can recognize more in hindsight about certain things in my life. And I think about being a kid a lot. Like, I'm like, ugh, that was such a. Like, I don't know. It was such a sweet time and such a comforting time. Yeah. And, like, I knew that. I felt like I had the freedom to make decisions, but ultimately, I knew that my parents were going to, like, step in and take care of things for me. And I think I appreciate that even more now. Being a parent, like, it's so fun being on this side of things. There's so much responsibility. So then you think about, like, okay, nothing was actually truly that serious when

[Abigail (Abby)]

I was a kid. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Like, that feels. And that was because I had really good feelings. Parents, like, you know, the stakes were pretty low. And so, I don't know, I just always think about, like, oh, when I

[Abigail (Abby)]

was a kid, totally.

[Abby Howard]

Things were just. Things just happened.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Just free.

[Abby Howard]

Things just happened. Food was there.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. I think it was one of our first episodes. You said, I just went to dance practice, and she went to school. Went to school. And my parents made it happen for me.

[Abby Howard]

They made it happen. And so it was just like, yeah, sweet. I don't think that I necessarily took it for granted because I think I always knew. I was like, I. This is great that I'm very grateful that I had to do these things, but I'm like, wow, that was so good. That was literally so good. I'm also so grateful. This is kind of, like, a little bit off track with this question, but I'm always so grateful that every season of my life, I've had good friends pretty much. And I think that has also made even the hard things in my life so much less difficult than they could have been. And so I especially had. I had really good friends growing up, which I think is probably the most important time to have good friends. And that's the thing I wish them most for my kids is, like, please make them be friends with, like, good examples.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, that influences their life so much. I don't. I don't really feel like there's a season in my life that I feel like I've taken for granted either. I feel like I've. I feel like I've always had a very gracious. Like, I've always felt so much gratitude for different seasons, and I think it's a Season that just like that newlywed season with Caleb was so sweet. I look on it, look back on it so, so fondly. It was just such a fun, fun, fun season. And I don't think I realized in the moment how fun it was. So I think maybe that is a season I look back on. It was like, those first three years married also. It was Covid, and we were newlyweds, so we got married in 2019 and then covet hit. That whole year just disappeared. I don't know what happened to it, but, like, what a fun time to be quarantined with your husband, your best friend, you know, it's so fun just getting to spend so much time with. Because we worked from home, we were together all the time, and now I feel like I barely, you know, I don't see them often as much. So I love, love, love that I probably took all the time we spent together for granted.

[Abby Howard]

That's special.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Well, this segment is called Always eaten.

[Abby Howard]

Always eating, which I'm actually hungry right now.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Honestly, let's go home and eat.

[Abby Howard]

We're trying to just think about, like, how we can give to you guys and, like, I don't know, just make this more of a community. We're still having conversations, so we're open once again to any suggestions.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I feel like a lot of us

[Abby Howard]

in this community are in a season of either being, like, a newlywed mom. Like, we have got people we gotta feed. We've got a great range. Yeah, we got people we gotta feed. We have a good range, but we all have the common thing of we're all hungry, and we have other people that are hungry that we gotta feed. And so we were thinking about sharing a new recipe every week to kind of just help if you're like, oh, I make the same things every night, or I don't. I have no idea what to cook tonight. So if you're headed to the grocery store right now while you're listening to this or after listening to this, we got a couple new recipes for you. We'll link them below. I linked my shrimp tacos because I just started making those again a lot. But I'm telling you, you gotta buy your shrimp from Costco.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Actually, I have to have one of you. Abby, you have to buy it from Sam's club. Really? It's £3 for $21. Peeled, deveined, raw.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, I don't have a Sam's Club membership.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I know. I was gonna tell you need to get one.

[Addie]

We just got one.

[Abby Howard]

You can use Just to get shrimpies. No, but I have heard Sam's is better than.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's just a little cheaper. No, here's the things. Costco has way better healthy options, but Sam's is cheaper.

[Abby Howard]

Well, then I'll probably stick to Costco. I don't just get my two. But it's two pounds, but it's peel, deveined, and raw. But they have the biggest shrimps. It's hard to find peel, deveined, and raw.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, it is hard.

[Abby Howard]

It's hard combo. But they got it at Sam's and Costco, so whatever membership you have, you're covered. Shrimp tacos. I don't follow this recipe. This recipe is just a good baseline. It's very flexible. Basically, just cook your shrimp and just put all the toppings on that you like. But this is just a good seasoning blend. And it's just the sauce is good, and it's just. It's foolproof.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I love your shrimp tacos when you make them.

[Abby Howard]

Thank you.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I eat a lot of them.

[Abby Howard]

I make them huge. Because I also love the tortillas from Costco.

[Abigail (Abby)]

They're so good.

[Abby Howard]

They have roasted raw tortillas. It really makes all the difference. I'm rambling right now, but I feel

[Abigail (Abby)]

like those are good for dinner and lunch too. My recipe is a cabbage soup, which sounds weird. I just love cabbage, and I always have.

[Abby Howard]

You're gonna have to make this for me because I saw you share the recipe, and I was a little skeptical.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Well, okay, So I. I'll link a recipe that was. I kind of adapted my own, but the recipe itself is good.

[Abby Howard]

Okay.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I. What I posted on my Instagram story is, like, my own little adaptation of it, but it's hearty, it's warm, it feels healing. It. It's just the perfect, like, blend of warming herbs and good vegetables. And I added chicken for protein. It is so good. Serve with some crusty bread. It's a win.

[Abby Howard]

Okay. I'm have to try it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes.

[Abby Howard]

I'm excited about that. And it sounds very healthy, too.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It is.

[Abby Howard]

Okay, book review time, everybody. Your homework is due. Did you read the book? We're actually still transparently trying to figure out the best way to do this book club because it, like, sounded like a great, fun idea.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yes.

[Abby Howard]

Sent it. And we mostly just want to do fun things like foster community with y'.

[Abigail (Abby)]

All.

[Abby Howard]

And I love to read. I feel like we got a couple readers in here. Abby, you like to read too?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, I like to read when I'm told to read when you're told to read.

[Abby Howard]

And so, yeah, so we're just trying to figure out what the best way to do this is. Because, like, for those of you that didn't read the book, you're probably like, this is boring. I don't care. I don't want spoilers. So maybe on this video we can put a timestamp for when we're done talking about the book.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

And we'll try to keep it somewhat brief, but maybe down the line we're thinking of other options of, like, what's the best way to do it? We thought about having, like, a separate channel, maybe Patreon type of thing. For those of you that, like, want to be a part of the, like, book club. We thought about doing all kinds of different discord chats, like, keep it separate. Or we can keep it in here. But mostly we just want your guys's feedback. Like, what do you prefer? Because we're just figuring this out.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Is it still new in the Goodreads? I. I think a lot of people have said that link isn't working. And also I feel like we don't know how much to engage in the Goodreads. So if. If there was a different platform that's a little easier to do the book club in. We want that. And obviously we would make it, like, accessible and easy and stuff.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So.

[Abby Howard]

Or if you're like, hey, this is preferred, do it this way. This is a democracy, so you need to speak up. Always.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Homies, is it a democracy all or an oligarchy?

[Abby Howard]

Oligarchy.

[Addie]

What's it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Wait, which one? Oligarchy is like kings and queens.

[Addie]

You guys are the queen.

[Abby Howard]

Democracy. I don't know.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's a democracy. You guys vote, please.

[Abby Howard]

You guys gotta vote. This isn't inherited.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Spoiler alert. We're gonna give spoilers. So if you don't want to listen,

[Abby Howard]

maybe fast forward For My Husband's Wife by Alice Feeney. If you haven't read it and want to read it, skip, skip.

[Abigail (Abby)]

But don't leave. Just skip.

[Abby Howard]

Okay, what was everyone. Let's start with everyone's ratings.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Five stars.

[Abby Howard]

Ooh, there you go. I was gave it a 3.5.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh my gosh.

[Addie]

I gave it a 3 as well.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, so on Goodreads, it'll actually be a three.

[Addie]

Yes. That's why I couldn't. I was gonna do a 3.5, but Goodreads, you can only do full stars, so I did a three.

[Abby Howard]

I think I'm dumb. Like, I'm actually still confused.

[Abigail (Abby)]

You're from A little confused.

[Abby Howard]

I think you both finished the book. Yes. Sat myself down.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I did read it so fast. I was like, I'm gonna have to go back. Three reasons.

[Abby Howard]

I'm actually so confused. I feel like, okay, here's my thing. No. Let you guys talk.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No.

[Abby Howard]

There's too many crazy people in this book.

[Abigail (Abby)]

There are a lot of crazy.

[Abby Howard]

What are the odds that all, like, every single character is willing to do something crazy? Crazy. It just got to a point where I was like, first of all, I'm like, it's a thriller. It's not, like, real. So obviously it's gonna be fiction. But it just got to a point

[Abigail (Abby)]

where I was like, it was too much.

[Abby Howard]

Everybody's psycho. So it's not based in any kind of, like. It kind of lost me. Like, I was like, okay, every single character is looney tunes.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Sure, sure. I could see that it was a lot.

[Abby Howard]

It wasn't grounded in something.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I. I was confused because I thought Harrison committed to, like, said he murdered her a million times, but he didn't. Wasn't the murderer.

[Abby Howard]

I think they wanted you to think, like, feel suspicious of everyone.

[Addie]

I was suspicious.

[Abby Howard]

Harrison was actually the cleanest of them all. When you really think about it. He just created a weird company.

[Addie]

But then he was. At the end, he was like, I don't. My company's not. Not worth it. It's not real.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Like, it doesn't work.

[Abby Howard]

And it was a bad thing.

[Addie]

You know, he knew it was bad to know when you were gonna die. I.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It.

[Addie]

The reason I gave it three stars. It took me at least 45% of the way through to be like, oh, stories connecting. Like, the first, because it's just like, two separate. Like, Birdie's talking in one of them, and then there's everyone else. And I'm like, how do these connect? And so once they connected, I was like, I. Okay, now I'm starting to understand what's happening. But I would read it again.

[Abby Howard]

I liked the first half better, actually.

[Abigail (Abby)]

When Eden died, I was shocked.

[Abby Howard]

Shocked, really.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Remember when her. Her. Oh, off the Cliff chapter? And she goes, and this is how I died. Whenever I was like, oh, my gosh, she died. The main character. But then you realize she's not the main character. Well, she did.

[Abby Howard]

She actually didn't die.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, she did die.

[Addie]

That's.

[Abby Howard]

That was Mary. No, Eden did not die.

[Abigail (Abby)]

We're all confused. No, Eden Fox did die. No, his fake wife.

[Abby Howard]

Cancer.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, that's Birdie.

[Addie]

No, that's Birdie.

[Abby Howard]

Oh.

[Addie]

Oh, Birdie didn't Die.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Abby is confused. We might need to explain the book.

[Abby Howard]

Did Eden die?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Eden did die.

[Addie]

Eden got pushed off.

[Abby Howard]

That's Mary, guys. Google it.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No. Mary is in Switzerland with Harrison, living happily ever after.

[Addie]

Yes.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Oh. Jane thought it was Mary and accidentally killed Mary instead of. Or an accident killed Eden instead of Mary.

[Addie]

Yes. Jane is the one who pushed her off. Yeah, we were. The whole time, you're like, who pushed her off?

[Abby Howard]

That was a terrible mastermind to.

[Addie]

Literally.

[Abby Howard]

Because they barely talked about her.

[Addie]

Like, oh, Carter's wife.

[Abigail (Abby)]

But at the end, I actually liked that.

[Abby Howard]

Really?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, because it was very unsuspecting. And then at the end, when she was talking about my. My husband. Husband's wife, I was like, wait, who's talking Eden? Or I didn't know who. I thought it was Eden's wife.

[Addie]

And it's not even about Eden or, like, the title of the book is not even about.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Like, I feel like that it was cool because the title My Husband's Wife applied to two different stories. I kind of like that. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I thought that was creative.

[Abby Howard]

I like this one more than the other Alice Feeney book I read, which was Rock Paper Scissors.

[Addie]

Me too.

[Abby Howard]

I, like, the beginning was really strong.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I also liked the setting better.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I didn't like the setting in Rock Paper Scissors.

[Abby Howard]

Just an isolated.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

But I'm still confused.

[Addie]

So the person who gets pushed off the cliff is the real Eden Fox.

[Abby Howard]

Yes. The real Eden.

[Addie]

Yep. The real Eden. And then Mary.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Sorry.

[Abby Howard]

And Jane tried to kill Eden, but it was actually Mary. And she didn't even know that she killed.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, no, Mary's not dead.

[Addie]

She tried to kill Mary that she thought was Eden, but it wasn't.

[Abby Howard]

Yes.

[Addie]

Pause. How do they look so much alike?

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. I don't know. That's weird.

[Abby Howard]

That was also crazy.

[Addie]

But a lot of these people had never met her before. Like, had never met Eden, like, in the town. Because Mary was going around and meeting people, like, this whole time, but had not known. Like, Carter slept with Mary, not Eden.

[Abigail (Abby)]

He just kissed her.

[Addie]

I thought, oh, maybe they just kissed.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Addie]

But still, he was maybe fantasizing about.

[Abby Howard]

No, they had.

[Abigail (Abby)]

They just kissed on his desk because he said, I.

[Abby Howard]

That's what she saw. But then he actually did sleep with Birdie.

[Addie]

But he slept with Birdie. But see, this is two affairs, actually.

[Abby Howard]

That's what I'm saying. This is crazy. Like, Jane was willing to commit that crime just of a kiss because that's the only thing she witnessed.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, I know.

[Abby Howard]

But then he was actually cheating. There was just too many.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I. I didn't really like the storyline of how Eden pushed the daughter over the balcony. I'm like that just feels so far fetched. Like she wasn't actually hit by the car. That whole story was like a little crazy.

[Abby Howard]

All of it was all. And then Gabriel gab. Gabriella the daughter also crazy. Just randomly one chapter where you find out she's crazy.

[Addie]

Or like at the end they try and they try and sneak in that she's locking Eden out of the house. This is my house. And she's like in her clothes and stuff. And then she goes just don't mess around like that. And then she lets her in the house. Like it was like weird.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. And when they. They ended the chapter with one of the chapters with Gabriella jumping out of the car.

[Abby Howard]

Yeah.

[Abigail (Abby)]

And then never really came back to that.

[Abby Howard]

There was too much happening and too short of a book honestly of trying

[Addie]

to wrap up all the loose ends at the end.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I was lost.

[Abby Howard]

I'm actually clearly still lost.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I actually I really enjoyed it. I thought it was very entertaining.

[Abby Howard]

I wouldn't recommend it personally.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Really.

[Addie]

I highlighted or this was chapter 10. So we were really very beginning said I'm Olivia Bird. I tell him. And then he. His face folds into a frown and he shakes his head. Olivia Bird is dead. I said what the heck is this freaking book? I'm so confused. That was about the grandma like was dead.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh yeah. The fact that two characters had the

[Abby Howard]

same grandma's in there with such an intricate. She died twice.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

And the mom died and I was like there was so much happening.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. I always thought it was. I think if the mom died twice and then Birdie died twice that would have been.

[Abby Howard]

I think I'm just too dumb for this book.

[Abigail (Abby)]

No, it was a lot. She does have I think Alice Feeney. Can someone confirm that she has all ten fingers? Because both.

[Abby Howard]

She tried to cut the finger again.

[Abigail (Abby)]

So does she have all ten fingers? Why is this her signature? In the other book we read by her Rock paper scissors. The book ends with a finger cut off with a ring on it. That's why Abby made cookies. If you ever saw that video.

[Addie]

Cut a a finger off.

[Abigail (Abby)]

In this book it was Olivia Bird's finger. Yes, it was. The grandma's finger was cut off. They like with the green ruby. Yeah. Or something.

[Abby Howard]

Yes.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Does she not have all fingers? She has nine fingers. I called it.

[Abby Howard]

That's. Oh my gosh. That's so cool.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's a.

[Addie]

She spoken publicly about losing Part of her finger in a childhood accident. It's something she occasionally mentions in interviews and author talks.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, my God.

[Abby Howard]

Well, she mentions it in her books.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's always subplot. Okay, that's cool.

[Abby Howard]

That's really good.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I love when an author has a signature. Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I think I actually still need to Google and just like be like, please explain the ending of this book who's who. Because see, I think what's happened is that like it nothing. The parts that were actually marry. But you're thinking our Birdie.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

Never got rewritten in my brain.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, it is. So I'm like, she has really hardcore twists. I never expect her twists in both stories. I was very shocked by her twist.

[Abby Howard]

My hot take though is that like, I like to be surprised by a twist, but I just think that her twists are just underdeveloped. Like there's. You should be able to make inferences of some kind or at least go back and say like, oh, this was this. But I feel like it just smacks you out of nowhere.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It does smack me out of nowhere. I think that's why I like it.

[Abby Howard]

I'm like, is that good though? Like, story development? I don't know. But yeah, you know, it was a good thriller to start. It's a fast paced one to start your year off.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's really fast.

[Abby Howard]

You can get one book under the belt now. You can read another.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah.

[Abby Howard]

I have a suggestion for the next one.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I don't know.

[Addie]

Yeah, I was gonna say we probably should if we have another book.

[Abby Howard]

I feel like we need to do a new release that's not brand new.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Okay.

[Abby Howard]

Because it's hard to get our hands on. We heard some feedback about that. But this one came out last year and it's called Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid. And it's like, it's a fiction, but it takes place. It's related to females going to space. And people say it's like very inspirational and really good. And I really like the author. She wrote Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, which I've heard of that, but I never read it. She also wrote Daisy Jones and the Six Fun. But this one's kind of like. It's like a slightly historical fiction, but it's like the 60s, I think. But it feels like girl power. And I feel like that'd be fun.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Fun. Yeah. Let's go. Always homies.

[Abby Howard]

It's a fiction, though. It's not like. It's not.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It's a.

[Abby Howard]

It's a story.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah. Fun.

[Abby Howard]

It came out last year.

[Addie]

It has 65,000 reviews and 4.5 stars.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Fun. Let's do it.

[Abby Howard]

Okay.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Atmosphere.

[Addie]

It's a GMA book club pick a love story.

[Abby Howard]

Perfect.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Love. Love story.

[Abby Howard]

I need to change a pace. I feel like that one was. That one got me. I also read a thriller before that, so that disturbed me. So maybe I just need a.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Need something a little lighter.

[Abby Howard]

Something a little lighter.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I'll just be a depressing, Depressing book.

[Abby Howard]

Depressing something.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I enjoyed the book club and I'm glad that we're doing this.

[Abby Howard]

Oh, my other side note, really quick, one more thing is that the subplot of the paintings felt underdeveloped as well.

[Addie]

That she just kept painting spiders that

[Abby Howard]

they all painted and then like the wolf and the like all the points just felt underdeveloped to me. Like it felt like there was a lot of good potential, but then it never came out full circle enough for me to be like. Appreciate those like, plot elements.

[Abigail (Abby)]

You want it to be a longer book?

[Abby Howard]

Maybe it needs to be longer. But I do think some of the things need to just be a little.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Or edited out.

[Abby Howard]

Some of the variants. Not as many lunatics.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Sure. Yeah. I feel like there could have maybe been some editing.

[Abby Howard]

There wasn't one sane character.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, I just.

[Abby Howard]

Whenever Carter was crazy too.

[Addie]

What happened? Okay, question. Another random thing. What happened to Maddie? You know, they're like, we can't contact her. She's not answering her.

[Abby Howard]

Maddie disappeared.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Oh, yeah, she disappeared. Well, the power went out. That was just kind of like the

[Addie]

Day of the Dead. What? That was not that important.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Yeah, the power was cut.

[Abby Howard]

I'm like, yeah, that never played a role. The Day of the Dead really never. Just came to do anything. I thought for sure someone was going to be hidden.

[Addie]

Well, Jane came and looked at, was dressed up and came and looked at Birdie, but Birdie had taken all the pills and passed out. And so she's like, she's already dead

[Abby Howard]

so I don't have to kill her.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Right? Right.

[Abby Howard]

Ph, ph,

[Addie]

yeah.

[Abby Howard]

All right. I'm glad. I wasn't mad at it. I was just kind of like, eh, gotcha. Okay. In closing, we just want to say thank you, guys. Wow, this was a long episode. Thank you for sitting with us and chatting with us all time. Actually, I was gonna tell you. At the marriage conference, a woman came up to me and she said that her and her daughter listened to Always Here every week together. So sweet.

[Abigail (Abby)]

I had a girl come to a church. Her name's Taylor and her daughter Isla. So sweet. She's the first one to ever come to me. I know.

[Abby Howard]

I love the mother daughter. That's so sweet.

[Abigail (Abby)]

It was so fun. So thank you guys for saying hi and listening. It's crazy.

[Abby Howard]

Yes. Especially we want to thank Haley for she did the next right step. Write a review she wrote. Love you all. I look forward to this each week. It really does feel like I'm right there with you all. When Abby would talk about her books on Unplanned and joke about having a reading corner segment, I'd always beg for it. So now that you guys added a book club, I'm so happy you guys do so amazing. If you love girls, talk friendships and books, this is the podcast for you.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Amazing.

[Abby Howard]

So we thank you so much, Hayley. And also anyone that is feeling generous today, please take a moment or two to just write a quick review. Subscribe Share this Episode Download what are all things you can do part it?

[Abigail (Abby)]

I don't know.

[Abby Howard]

Give it a thumbs up. Whatever you need to do on whatever platform you're listening on to, just show them that you're enjoying us and you intend to come back. It really means a lot. We're so thankful to you and so is our entire team. So it's not just for me and Abby and Addy. There's more people behind the scene that also are really encouraged by that positive feedback as well. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Abigail (Abby)]

Well, I have to pee. Yeah, well, you know what?

[Abby Howard]

You guys remember, we're always here.

[Abigail (Abby)]

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[Abby Howard]

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[Abigail (Abby)]

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[Abby Howard]

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[Abigail (Abby)]

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[Abby Howard]

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[Abigail (Abby)]

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[Abby Howard]

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[Abigail (Abby)]

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[Abby Howard]

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[Abigail (Abby)]

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[Abby Howard]

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[Abigail (Abby)]

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[Addie]

Experian.