The truth about our body image struggles

Summary

Always Here – Episode Summary

Podcast: Always Here
Hosts: Abby Howard & Abby Howard (Daylight Media)
Episode: The truth about our body image struggles
Date: July 17, 2026

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Main Theme

This heartfelt and humor-filled episode dives deep into the topic of body image struggles, especially in the context of womanhood, pregnancy, postpartum life, and societal pressures. Abby and Abby offer personal stories, gentle advice, and candid conversations about self-worth, social media, fitness journeys, and how their perspectives on their bodies have evolved over the years.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Updates & “Hope and a Hard”

(Starts 02:00)

• Dental adventures: Abby shares her first cavity after 30 years, the minor disappointment ("I actually felt like a piece of my pride... was just stripped away from me." – C, 02:27), and a fun roundabout chat on childhood orthodontia.
• Pregnancy milestone: Abby celebrates reaching 35 weeks of pregnancy, discussing the emotional and logistical transitions as her household prepares for a new arrival and the accompanying mom guilt.
• Transitioning with toddlers: The hosts talk about their kids becoming clingier as big changes approach, leading to a nuanced conversation about guilt, gratitude, and managing expectations as mothers.

2. Family Shenanigans & Recent Events

(Starts 11:52)

• All-American 4th of July celebration: Hosting parties, unplanned guests, and the joy of seeing friends feel at home.
• Kids’ birthday party escapades: Dads over-exerting themselves in trampoline parks, and the hilarity of the inflatable Rex costume appearance.
• “Blake’s Always Thinking”: A segment where they tackle trivia questions, displaying their vibrant personalities while poking fun at one another’s lack of U.S. state population knowledge.
  • "Wyoming has 588,000 total." – A, 20:17

3. American Culture through European Eyes

(Starts 23:54, post sponsorship)

• The crew laughs over viral online videos of Europeans reacting to U.S. portion sizes, free bread, Texas Roadhouse butter, and the spectacle of Bass Pro Shops.
  • "I forgot that [Texas Roadhouse] is a gem. It's a delicacy." – B, 26:24
  • "That's one drink. And they're amazed." – B, 27:18

4. Body Image: Candid Confessions & Hard Truths

(Main discussion starts 36:38, direct mention at 32:27)

Trigger Warning: Open, sensitive discussion surrounding weight, disordered eating, eating disorders, and body changes.

• Poll results: Listeners' greatest struggles with body image span from middle school to college and postpartum years, with the college/adult phase and postpartum period being nearly tied as top challenges.
• Comparisons—Self vs. Others:
  • Social media has shifted comparison from just others to comparing one’s current self with past versions.
    • “It became this obsessive thing where I had so much footage and obsessive thoughts about myself to myself…” – C, 42:42
• Harmful social commentary:
  • Abby addresses a viral, body-shaming comment she received while pregnant. Both lament how women—even mothers—can perpetrate body policing and how such remarks linger, even among all the positivity.
    • "Heaven forbid me at 35 weeks am not considering the highest priority when picking out my outfit for the day, that it’s flattering." – B, 32:42
• Personal stories:
  • Each host recounts her journey from adolescence through adulthood, describing moments of calorie restriction, over-exercise, peer and social comparisons, and the road to self-acceptance—often accelerated during or after pregnancy.
  • “...the second pregnancy, I struggled a little bit more with my thought life around my body image than I did the first time…” – C, 43:38
  • Critical moments included college sports, entering adult independence, postpartum body changes, and regaining mental health through movement.
• Practical mindset shifts:
  • Reframing focus from appearance to function, health, and participation in life.
    • “The best thing that ever happened to me was my traumatic birth procedure...That changed the game where I was like, I’m not running to get a thigh gap. I never want to feel like I can’t walk again.” – C, 76:28
  • Avoiding filters on social media to reinforce realistic self-image.
  • Not checking or editing group photos obsessively—"You captured how I looked in that moment and I'm content with that." – B, 40:38
  • Setting boundaries with food and exercise, and seeking accountability in a way that suits you personally.
• Social influence and support:
  • Family and community (especially mothers and grandmothers) play a critical role in instilling self-worth and resilience against external judgments.
    • “It was just everything but the way I looked… we love how kind you are.” – B, 61:02

5. Pregnancy & Postpartum: Identity and Body Recognition

(66:33 – 72:32)

• The jarring experience of not recognizing oneself after giving birth is openly discussed.
  • “...when you’re postpartum, after you have your... baby, you look in the mirror, you’re like, I literally don’t recognize my body…” – C, 66:39
• The importance of patience, grace, and prioritizing function over vanity during recovery.
• The difficulty of day-to-day acceptance, and how the “snap back” cultural narrative does a disservice to real women’s journeys.

6. Movement, Community, and Mental Health

(73:43 onward)

• Exercise reframed as a gift and celebration of what the body can do, not punishment.
  • “...we don’t do it because we ate a candy salad. Like, we do it because we get to.” – B/C, 81:09-81:12
• Using workouts to boost confidence by keeping promises to yourself.
• Modeling a positive example for children, breaking cycles of body shaming, and making self-care visible and valued within families.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I actually felt like a piece of my pride that I didn’t know I had was just stripped away from me.” – C, on her first cavity (02:27)
• “I cannot imagine being... How many months pregnant were you with Augie at this point?” – C, reflecting on the chaos of close pregnancies (10:59)
• “I became obsessed with... comparing myself. Oh, a year ago I looked way better... It became this obsessive thing where I had so much footage and obsessive thoughts about myself to myself...” – C, on comparison spirals (42:42)
• “...I actually felt jealous of my husband looking at pictures of me from, like, a couple years ago… I certainly don’t want to see that. And I honestly don’t really want you looking at that.” – B, on self-vs-self comparison (43:12)
• “Heaven forbid me at 35 weeks am not considering the highest priority when picking out my outfit for the day, that it’s flattering.” – B, addressing harmful comments (32:42)
• “The goal is not to think less of ourselves. It's just to think of ourselves less.” – C, on overcoming anxious, self-focused thoughts (76:17)
• “...the best thing that ever happened to me was my traumatic birth procedure... That changed the game where I was like, I'm not running to get a thigh gap...” – C, body appreciation after hardship (76:28)
• “We don’t do it because we ate a candy salad. Like, we do it because we get to.” – B/C, about exercise motivation (81:12)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Hope and a Hard / Life Updates: 02:00–11:51
• Family & Party Recaps: 11:52–19:04
• Blake’s Trivia Segment: 19:04–23:22
• European Tourists Experience America: 23:54–29:41
• Body Image Discussion (Main): 32:27–81:46
• Ask Abby’s (Voicemails & Listener Q&A): 81:55–91:39
• Always Hungry (Recipes): 91:39–94:44

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Listener Questions & Fun

• Favorite workout classes: All agree on “MetCon” and athletic conditioning at Burn Bootcamp; discuss other formats like yoga, CrossFit, bungee, dance/“Turn Up,” and aerial silks.
  • “Group fitness. I want someone to tell me what to do. I don’t want to think about it.” – B, 85:24
• Handling out-of-state in-laws wanting lengthy visits: Consensus: That’s the spouse's job to address. Subtle, direct communication is key.
• Favorite Midwestern summer desserts: Strawberry pretzel salad, chocolate lasagna, gooey butter cake, and custard.

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Tone & Language

The conversation is friendly, self-deprecating, honest, hopeful, and peppered with gentle humor. Both Abbys are candid about their insecurities and growth. They regularly affirm their listeners and each other, using approachable, everyday language.

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Summary Takeaways

This episode is a vulnerable and relatable discussion about the ever-changing relationship women have with their bodies. The hosts’ balance of realness and laughter helps remove shame, showing that even the most positive and healthy women encounter insecurity—but also that it’s possible to move forward with compassion, gentleness, and persistent self-reflection.

“I just think that the question I always ask myself is, like, what do I want my life to look like?... For me, that does include health, and I want to be able to do hikes and... play with my kids... and I want to be able to eat a candy salad on the 4th of July and... not think a second thought about it.” – B, 72:32

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For those seeking thoughtful, real talk on body image, self-acceptance, the transition to motherhood, and the importance of community, this episode is a must-listen.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. I, like, actually felt jealous of my husband looking at pictures of me from, like, a couple years ago. He's like, what? It's you. I said, I certainly don't want to see that. And I honestly don't really want you looking at that.

[C]

The best thing that ever happened to me was my traumatic birth procedure. I felt so much pain. That changed the game where I was like, I'm not running to get a thigh gap. I never want to feel like I can't walk again. When I was in college, that was the first time I felt like I compared my body to other girls online. I'm like, how can I be as skinny as possible but also have the fattest dumper you've ever seen? Welcome back to Always Here.

[B]

We're your hosts, Abby Howard and Abbey Howard, and. And we are here to share. Gosh, we're off to a great start here. Really good.

[C]

Really good.

[B]

To share the hope in the heart. How's life been with heart and humor?

[C]

Can't forget the second half of our

[B]

tagline, heart and humor.

[C]

Yeah. I think I've been great.

[A]

Good.

[C]

Yeah, I'm really good. Do we wanna start with our Hope and a Heart or a Life updates?

[B]

Let's do Life updates.

[C]

No. Oh, okay. Let's do Hope and heart. Sorry. I asked the question, but I had in my head.

[B]

I chose the wrong one.

[C]

Correct answer.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

That was really bad.

[B]

Okay, what's going on?

[A]

What do you got? SP.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Because my Hope in my heart is also my life update.

[B]

Okay, great.

[C]

So I cross something off of my yearly goal.

[B]

I feel like I spent a lot of time with you recently.

[C]

I went to the dentist.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I literally was like, I'm gonna text her. And I was like, this is pathetic. I was like, I'll ask her on the podcast. Yes.

[C]

Let's cross that off. The list.

[B]

Any cavities?

[C]

So that's my hard. I have my first cavity in 30 years.

[B]

Well, you know what? That's not a bad track record.

[C]

I actually felt like a piece of my pride that I didn't know I had was just stripped away from me. That was a bragging, right, That I didn't get those. Yeah, no. Literally for my entire life, I was like, I've never had a cavity. Can't relate. I've never had one. Never had one of those. And then he was like, you have one? And I was like, well, check again. Look again.

[B]

I had six when I was pregnant with Griffin.

[C]

Six at one time in all different teeth?

[B]

Yep. Sixteen cavities.

[A]

I've had a lot of cavities.

[B]

Yeah, they had to do them on separate days because they didn't want to numb my entire mouth. So they did half and half.

[C]

So how do. Yeah. When you get a filling, does it hurt? No, no. You just feel the drill.

[B]

I'm. No, you don't. I mean, it's. The only part that will hurt is the numbing shot.

[C]

Perfect. Okay. I haven't gotten a shot in my mouth in a long time.

[B]

I'm a pro.

[C]

I haven't gotten dental. I mean, I went to the dentist religiously twice a year until I turned 26. But before that, I mean, I hadn't had anything done to my mouth except a cleaning since I got my braces off my freshman year of high school. So that's a long time since I've had anything done in my mouth. Yeah, I'm a little like. I had teeth pulled and retainers and braces.

[B]

Oh, you did? Well, you probably had teeth pulled for cavities.

[C]

No, I had teeth pulled because I had an overcrowded mouth.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's for orthodontics.

[C]

I had a lot of orthodontics. Okay.

[B]

I had no orthodontics.

[A]

Really?

[C]

So I guess I've had no dental work. I've had orthodontic work.

[B]

Yeah, we couldn't afford that.

[C]

Really? Yeah, they were pretty good. Yeah, I had braces, like, two and a half years. But, hey, I love my smiles.

[A]

I had a molar rotator.

[C]

What is that?

[A]

So my molars were the wrong. They were like, sideways. They needed to be faced the other way.

[B]

Wow. Why? He can just leave them sideways.

[C]

Yeah. You're like, I eat fine.

[A]

Yeah. So these are like, these. There are little caps on my molars and then a little, like, U shaped.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Oh, I've seen people have that.

[A]

Yeah. So that was just, like, in my mouth.

[C]

Yeah. Do you remember when people had those spacer bars to, like, space out there? Did you have one of those?

[A]

I had the, like. They were like springs. They were. So when people have braces, they sometimes have rubber bands, and then when it needs more than that, they have springs. So I had the springs.

[B]

What about the head gear? I've never seen a kid with headgear recently.

[C]

I knew someone who had headgear, but she had.

[B]

Recently, though.

[A]

They still do that at night if they have headgear.

[B]

But she.

[C]

Her whole jaw. They eventually. This was my friend, I guess I won't say her name, but she. From, like, second grade to senior year of high school, they were prepping her mouth for this surgery that she would have to have, and they had to break her jaw in four places and set it back. And her whole mouth.

[B]

It.

[C]

It was amazing, though. Like, it changed everything about how her. She could breathe better.

[B]

Had to be clamped shut.

[C]

Yeah, she had to be wired shut. And we brought her food, and it was like, how to blend it, you know, for a while. Liquid diet. I know. Yeah. It was really intense. But it was life changing for her.

[B]

Dude, I was. I was on the other side of things. I was, like, low key, kind of jealous of people that had braces. I thought they were cool.

[A]

I wrote my dentist a letter asking him to not give me braces.

[C]

Santa, please do not give me braces.

[A]

I didn't write it. Like, I didn't write the address correctly, so it got returned to me.

[B]

Shoot.

[C]

No. Your parents ever sent that?

[A]

No, I put it in the mailbox. Oh, my God. And I wrote it incorrectly, so it got sent back.

[C]

That's so funny.

[B]

I put it in the mailbox. That's hilarious. That's really funny. That's some strong.

[C]

Did that just unlock that memory?

[A]

Yes, and I'm so glad it got sent back to me. Once it got sent back, I was like, good.

[C]

Oh, phew.

[B]

Like, that was impulsive.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

It's so funny.

[C]

Yeah. I'm very grateful that I had the orthodontic work I did in the moment. I obviously didn't appreciate it, but now, as an adult, I'm so grateful. I wear my retainer once a week

[B]

just to keep things together. Once a week.

[C]

Well, now they're like, you should wear it more often, because I think I'm grinding.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I think I'm grinding my teeth.

[A]

That's.

[B]

I wear a night guard.

[C]

Yeah, she's recommended. I get one.

[B]

I feel like it Makes my breath.

[C]

I believe that. But I sleep with my mouth shut.

[B]

I sleep with my mouth completely shut. That's why it's stinky.

[C]

I feel like, oh, it's just hot air just in there all night.

[B]

Oh, it's so bad.

[C]

I don't know what's going on.

[B]

It's so bad.

[C]

Oh, she's like, do you grind your teeth at night? I was like, listen, I'm asleep. I don't know. She's like, does your husband say anything? I'm like, he's never said anything. And he does wake up, like, throughout the night. So he didn't say anything.

[B]

How would it. I mean, that would be some serious grinding for the day.

[C]

When you hear people grind their teeth, though, it's hard to miss. That's been hard. Next week, I'm going in for a filling.

[B]

Oh, can't wait to hear about it.

[C]

Well, I'll update y'. All.

[B]

They're not that bad.

[C]

Yeah, they were like, well, it's actually

[B]

not bad at all. Okay, perfect.

[C]

Yeah, I. I was going. I'm going in on a Monday. And I said, will I be good to talk on Tuesday? You'll be good to talk.

[B]

Leave. No, not true. Because I am so numb. I'm like, shoot, I'll record it. Yeah, try to take a sip of water from a straw. You're just. Just the numbing stuff.

[C]

Great.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

That's my hope on my hard.

[B]

My hope is that I'm officially 35 weeks. I was saying I was 35 weeks for the past day. I counted yesterday. I was like, I'm 35.

[C]

It's gonna be a long week now.

[B]

It's gonna be an extra day. It's gonna be eight whole days. No, I'll probably just say I'm 36 on Monday. I did that, too.

[C]

I'm like. When you. You're like, no, I'm actually 38.

[B]

You're like, well, I think it's because of my head. I was like, I have to keep my mental game until 35 weeks. And so I was like, my mental game went out the door yesterday. So I was like, it must be 35 weeks.

[C]

I think they're off.

[B]

On this duty.

[C]

You've got to stay locked in. I. These are the longest days.

[B]

I am locked in until 5pm Okay, 5pm on, I just am having a pity party in my head. But I really am so grateful. I think I've just said, like, the entire time, like, after a pregnancy, after loss, you're like, I just want to hold this baby. So Bad. Like, I will literally do whatever it takes, but it is still hoping hard, right?

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Final stretch. But I. I also do need the time. So do we need the time?

[C]

Like, I do have a lot.

[B]

I am trying my hard is I really am feeling guilty about mom Guilt, of course. Every time about how I'm showing up for my toddlers. I feel like I just am, like, don't have. I'm like, not creative or fun or playful. They're like, chase me. They're like. They like, don't even ask. They're starting to stop asking me to play because I'm just not being good about it and it makes me sad. Well, and then I'm like, it's not going to get any better because then we're going to have a baby and then what am I going to be rolling around on my hands and knees? No, I'm not doing that right now. I'm not getting up and off the ground. I'm not like. I mean, the most I did today was I played tech decks with them for a while.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like a few. And when I say a while, I mean like five minutes. Yeah.

[C]

But you know what? You're at that point where you're transitioning. It's good to transition now before baby gets here again. Used to you not being as involved. And then when baby gets here, you'll be preoccupied and then you'll feel good again in a couple months and you'll be back to yourself and they won't even remember that. You know, let's hope. No, you'll be great.

[B]

I feel bad.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They are really independent, but I'm like, I want you to play with me. But I do think what they say. I've. I've never, like, thought too much about this because I hadn't experienced it. Your kids getting more clingy. Oh, my gosh. It's actually happening. It literally is. And like, how many times have my kids asked me to snuggle? They're not like that. Yeah, they're not like those. They're not. Both of them. One of them asked last night. One of them asked today to snuggle me. Aww. Never asked that. Then a little bit more. We have been having more emotions than usual and just like, more general clinginess. And I was like, wow, this is. Everyone's feeling it in this household.

[C]

Yeah. Changes are brewing.

[A]

It.

[C]

Change is a brewing.

[B]

And I just didn't expect them to be like that because they are really independent little guys. And so I was like, it's Kind of sweet. But then it's also panicky and like, mom, guilty. You know, it's both.

[C]

So totally.

[B]

It'll all be fine. We're transitioning.

[C]

Yeah. That's relatable, though. I'm sure everyone goes through that, and everyone feels that I didn't.

[B]

We didn't really get it with the transition from Griffin or from our. We didn't really experience it with the transition from one to two because it was that he was so young.

[C]

Yeah. He had no idea what.

[B]

It was only a 13 month gap. And so now I'm like, oh, this is like a gap where we're actually feeling the transition for them, like, they're experiencing it. The rug was just ripped out from under it. I'll be totally honest.

[C]

I cannot imagine being. How many months pregnant were you with Augie at this point? They like, if I had Vivian in September, and you would have been like, six months pregnant. If I got pregnant the same time that you did with Augie, I would be like, six months pregnant right now. That's so crazy when I think about that.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. It's not that crazy. When you're going through it. I'll be so confused.

[C]

You have to get through it.

[B]

Yeah. You're just kind of like, you're in it. You're in it.

[C]

Whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just life.

[B]

It has its pros, too.

[C]

But when I think about it now,

[B]

I'm like, that's how I felt when I was like. After having my second. I was like, okay, wow.

[C]

That would have been wild. We need to take some extreme measures.

[B]

Yeah. I got 90.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're like, 99.9% effective.

[C]

Love it.

[B]

That sounds about right. And doubled up actually.

[C]

So great.

[B]

But yeah, that's the hope in the heart. Okay. We have a lot of.

[C]

We had so many things happen.

[B]

We need to figure Shenanigans.

[A]

Short recaps of every event. A couple sentences about each.

[C]

We'll just start up. We'll combine the Fourth of July thing. So we had our all American Val 4th of July Birthday party and our friends Ashley and Caitlin. Did they text you about hosting that party for fourth of July?

[B]

No. I felt so honored. They were like, hey. They told me in person. They're like, we're planning a party at your house.

[C]

I was like, amazing.

[B]

That's incredible. I feel so honored by that. I was like, that's honestly the whole reason why we got our house was to host a bunch and everyone to be welcome all the time. So I feel honored. I was like, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Come on. Over.

[B]

Come on over. Yeah.

[C]

So it was a fun conversation.

[B]

And they did. We were having. Was crazy, actually.

[C]

Really.

[B]

We had a guest over for unplanned. And as the guest is still here, people are filing through our house, setting up this party. And then she, like, walks out and she's like, wow. Wow.

[A]

It just shows to how comfortable your friends feel in your home to be like, we're all in here recording. They just walk in, they start setting up. They get everything ready.

[B]

They knew where everything was.

[A]

The party is here.

[B]

The party was there.

[C]

What a way to throw a party.

[B]

Seriously. The easiest party I ever threw.

[C]

That's great. You're like, you want to stay to your guests. The party started.

[B]

I know she had a flight, but dang it, I would have let her.

[C]

But that's so funny. That was really a fun night. Great pool party, Good celebration with friends. And then to carry on the 4th of July weekend, our in laws came in town. We did a pool party just with our family on Saturday, which was fun.

[B]

Yeah. Just with our family, which actually is getting bigger and bigger.

[C]

Yeah. I was like.

[B]

It was a lot. I think it was like nine adult or eight adults.

[C]

Yeah, four kids. No, I'm sorry. That's terrible math.

[B]

Five kids did some fireworks.

[C]

Four, five. Yeah, five. I don't know why.

[B]

Eight adults, five kids.

[C]

Yeah, it's just two, four, six, eight, ten. With John Teresa. Two, four, six, eight, 10, 10 adults.

[B]

At the All American Vowel party, we watched Sandlot by the pool at the end. And I was watching it with the kids, and I was reminded that, I mean, maybe our kids are little young for that one.

[C]

They cuss. And then the kissing scene.

[B]

They're all the S word. So stretched out. And I was like, ooh.

[C]

You start yelling. What'd you say?

[B]

Not the cousin. It surprised me.

[A]

You try and do the cough. They're stretching it out and doesn't really work. Coughing.

[C]

The kissing scene. All the kids are like this on the tv, just staring at it.

[B]

My kids are unfazed by kissing, actually.

[C]

Yeah. But just on the TV, I looked at C.J. he was like, C.J.

[B]

always looks like that when he's catching.

[C]

So locked in lock did.

[B]

It was cute. It was really cute. They liked it. Okay. Yeah. Then next was Griffin's birthday party. Okay, that was Thursday and Saturday.

[C]

But Friday, that was a party of shenanigans.

[B]

Had more shenanigans going on. Whole kids birthday party at, like, an indoor trampoline and skate park, which was

[C]

so fun because the adults got to participate.

[B]

Yeah. At the End. Everyone's husbands were sweating.

[C]

I was like, go shower.

[B]

You stink. Literally. Caleb and Matt kept. Not really Blake. Blake wasn't really.

[A]

Blake was jumping down there by himself. He wasn't with any of the other people. He went down there, played some basketball. He did take braille down there, but

[C]

that was cute with her down there.

[B]

She loved it. They. They kept. Caleb and Matt kept being like, watch this, watch this.

[C]

Did this stupidest trick. It's one of those things that felt cool and looked ridiculous. And he was on his. He kept jumping onto his back and then, like, to his feet, then back his feet.

[B]

They both were like, watch this, watch this. And we're like, really awesome, guys.

[C]

Wow, you're getting better. It's not.

[B]

Everybody got the zip line. Her feet just dragging.

[C]

It was really fun.

[B]

It was really fun. And then we really got up to some other shenanigans because Abigail put on. I got this Rex costume from Sphere of Halloween. You know who gave me that idea?

[C]

No.

[B]

Was Sophia.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yes. She's like, what are the odds? Abigail plays Rex.

[C]

I actually know that I'd be down

[B]

for that, because that's just who you are, Abby.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I'm.

[C]

I'm so honored.

[B]

Yeah. And I literally bought this $90 Rex costume from Spirit Halloween in June.

[C]

I think it was massive.

[B]

I was like, say less. That's an amazing idea. And it's a huge inflatable Rex costume. You guys will have to share the video on this page, too. It was. I was wheezing, like, and Addie just tried to record. I'm, like, dying laughing.

[C]

Addie.

[B]

Or Addie was like, I was looking around for you guys when the pizza came out, I couldn't find you.

[A]

Yeah. So I was like, oh, I know they're putting in the Rex costume. I was like, let me go see if they need any.

[C]

Oh, did we need help? We needed so much help. Addie came in, was like, okay, so this is where your feet go.

[A]

I think you guys were in there for at least 10 minutes before I came in.

[C]

Yeah, we were.

[B]

We needed tools.

[A]

We didn't have the costume on it.

[C]

No, we didn't. We were still looking at it.

[B]

Like,

[A]

it was good teamwork.

[B]

Rushed it.

[C]

That was awesome.

[A]

She did crush it.

[B]

Well, I had to give you a character analysis of, yeah, he's a dinosaur, but he's scared.

[C]

Yeah, that helps.

[B]

He's scared. And so I was, like, telling the kids to growl at it. And you, like, they love that. That they were scaring the dinosaur. And then you were like, I was like, she's been out here for a while. Maybe she's, like, kind of done. And we're like. I said, I think Rex has to go potty because that's where we were changing the costume anyway.

[C]

Yeah, you're, like, covering my crotch.

[B]

I was like, ah, they were cracking up.

[A]

I have a video of you walking into the bathroom and your head fully stuck.

[C]

Fully stuck. I don't know why. In my head, I thought when you asked me to do this, I was like, okay, I'm going to put on a performance. And so I thought I'd have the whole gymnastics floor to, like, do the worm. And I was like, should I practice the worm? No way that was ever going to be possible. I was, like, practicing dance moves. So I'm really glad it wasn't that because that made me nervous. Yeah, that made me nervous.

[B]

I didn't ask you to do the worm.

[C]

No, I know. I just assumed. I'm like, I'm a mascot. You know what I mean? I was thinking, like, game day.

[B]

I unzipped you in that bathroom in a, like, a gush of hot air. It was so hot.

[C]

Escape Me was in that costume for 10 minutes, maybe 15 minutes. I was fully wet. Like, I took a shower.

[B]

Can you imagine those mascot people or the Disney characters?

[C]

The Disney characters.

[A]

That's why they have time limits.

[C]

Really. It makes sense. After that, I was. I was so sweaty. So worth it. It was so. I was honored.

[B]

That was the highlight. And then afterwards, everyone was like, do you think Griffin really thought it was Rex? I was like, I don't think he cared. Like, I don't think he just thought it was funny. I don't think any. Either of my kids were not, like, trying to figure out. They were like, this is great. We're just happy.

[C]

There was point where he stared at my shoes for a long time, and then he looked. He found you. And he goes like.

[B]

He.

[C]

Like he was putting it together. And then he gave me a big hug.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I don't know if he knew it was me or just, like, one of your friends, but he's like, I don't care. Yeah. He's like, I love this.

[B]

He's like, this is so fun.

[C]

That was really fun. It was a great time.

[B]

Okay, so those were three parties in a row.

[C]

That was a lot. Maybe we do a new segment because Blake loves to ask Addie trivia questions, and then once he has one, she's going to relate to us and we

[B]

see how dumb we are.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. This was while we were Watching Love Island. Random question. He asked me, okay, what is the least populated state?

[C]

Oh, Alaska.

[B]

Oh, that's a good guess. It's so huge though.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I guess I'll just do something different and say like Wyoming.

[C]

What was your guess?

[A]

My guess? Well, first again, North Dakota.

[B]

Rhode island is really small.

[C]

North Dakota potentially too.

[A]

I was watching a show, so I

[B]

said, oh, it said it's North Dakota.

[A]

I said California. New York. That's what I said first.

[C]

Addy, you said New York.

[A]

I was watching a show, I wasn't paying. I thought he said most populated.

[B]

Okay, okay. Okay.

[A]

So. And then my next guess, I'm gonna say South Dakota. Okay. And yours was Alaska. My first answer was Idaho. Our answers are all incorrect. My second answer was correct. So what is your guys second an answer?

[B]

Have we said it yet?

[C]

Montana. Oh, we did say it.

[B]

It's Wyoming.

[A]

It's Wyoming. Really? Wait, Wyoming said I got it.

[C]

Is that what you said?

[A]

My second try, he goes, you said California and New York first. I'm like, I didn't understand the question at first.

[C]

Wyoming is less populated than North Dakota.

[A]

Wyoming has 588,000 total.

[C]

That's a massive state.

[A]

What is the population of South Dakota or North Dakota? North Dakota.

[B]

I'm so annoyed because my first guess was right, Wyoming.

[A]

North Dakota is over 800,000.

[C]

Wow. So you said north. Wyoming.

[A]

She said Wyoming first. Yeah.

[C]

Good job.

[A]

I said Idaho. What's the population of Idaho?

[B]

Idaho's probably big.

[C]

Cuz I feel like a lot of

[B]

people have been going there.

[C]

Yeah. I didn't know a single person. Yeah.

[A]

2.06 million.

[C]

Really? In Missouri, I didn't know a single person. I was like, I don't. No one lives there. I didn't know anything about it. I thought it was just all potato.

[B]

Oh, it's all the buzz.

[C]

I know.

[B]

I just knew.

[C]

I thought it was all potato farm. And then I met girl in college that was from Idaho. And you move out here and everyone's like, idaho's the jam.

[B]

A lot of wealthy people that are in Idaho.

[A]

Sorry to anyone from Idaho, but what is.

[B]

It's beautiful.

[A]

Big city. Like, I think it's got everything.

[C]

It's what they call Delane is like the really bougie spot.

[A]

Never heard of it.

[C]

But I think it's got everything, like mountains. You can ski there, you can go on the lake. It's got everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Alaska is just so big.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I just thought it's really spread out. I'm sure the population is really spread out.

[C]

Yeah. What is the Population of Alaska. I think they only live in, like, three cities there.

[A]

738, 000.

[C]

Okay, so not far off. Not far off. Well, that's a fun one.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I love state questions.

[A]

I'll let you know if there's any more questions that come up.

[B]

Tell them that it's now a segment. Yeah, here's the thing is apparently more

[A]

that are like this that I get in a week, and I kind of forget I'm gonna start. Right.

[C]

Maybe we start calling it. Blake's always thinking,

[B]

oh, my gosh. That was my thing growing up with.

[C]

With Blake.

[B]

Like, I was like, he's making all of this up. Everybody. Like, my mom was like, blake knows everything. I was like, he's make. He's pulling this out of his butt. And then sometimes he was right. And I was like, shoot.

[C]

Blake is well read. You know, he's, you know, he's well educated. I love that. That's fun. Out of your dying.

[B]

What?

[A]

No, I just love it. This is fun.

[C]

Blake's always thinking, always thinking, this is a good job. Well, that's crazy. Should we move on to wow, that's crazy?

[B]

Yes, let's do wow. That's crazy.

[C]

Thank you to Flamingo, sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

[B]

Summer is here. Our legs are out.

[C]

Oh, baby.

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[B]

Wow, that's crazy.

[C]

Wow, that's crazy.

[B]

That crazy.

[C]

We were talking about states and you know who else has been experiencing the states for the first time? Europeans. For the World cup soccer. And that has been a hoot in a hauler. Watching those videos online.

[A]

We're recording this. America lost yesterday.

[C]

I know Caleb was like depressed last night to the point where I was like, shake it off.

[A]

Blake was yelling at the tv. I was like, you have to stop at this point. It's 3:1. We gotta stop yelling. Yes.

[C]

Is Blake the type where if there's his team loses his nights ruined? 100. Yeah.

[A]

And we. He's a baseball fan.

[C]

I know it's a tough weekend for you guys. Sorry. Cubs versus baseball.

[B]

Every single day.

[C]

And it was Cubs versus Cardinals this weekend.

[A]

Well, yeah, it was. And that game was bad. But the Cubs won the last game of the series, so they didn't get swept.

[C]

Okay. Perfect for you guys. I love the Cardinals so.

[A]

Well, they beat us by like 17,

[C]

so I did remember that. I didn't bring it up strategically. No.

[B]

Because like with my family, it's actually like.

[C]

Yeah, I think I learned that. I learned that. It's not like at first it was like playful and then it's like. Well, actually, I don't think they thought that was funny.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I think John, our father in law would like try to be playful. And then I was like, it's not gonna land. It's way too.

[C]

Yeah. We all had to. We. We figured it out.

[B]

That's why I had to marry someone that didn't care about sports. Totally. I did watch the game yesterday. It was. I was with my dad. I wouldn't have watched. I wouldn't have even known how to access it. But yeah, I was like, dad, you're actually scaring my kids because they don't know what this is. They don't.

[A]

I told Blake to apologize for real.

[C]

I was like, vivian, cry too. He goes, when they got the goal. He was like, go.

[B]

And then Vivian was like, I had trauma from this as a kid.

[C]

Okay, well, let's everyone.

[B]

It's like, you're scaring my kids. I go pick her up. My dad played soccer in college, so I feel like for him, like, like, I don't know. He. He gets so annoyed when they, like, flop and don't get up. So most of his yelling was like, get up, get up. Oh, my gosh. And I keep seeing all these videos that's like, women will literally push a whole human out of their bodies and then. Or like, get cut open and be awake on a table and then just go to walking around and feeding the baby, taking care of a newborn. And then there's these players. And I'm like, it's so true. It's actually ridiculous.

[C]

Well, it is part of the game. It's strategy.

[B]

It wasn't though, for a long time. And so I think it's really annoying.

[C]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

Okay, well, what is the main. What's the. Wow, that's crazy.

[C]

Crazy is that all these Europeans and people from around the world are coming to America and then they're experiencing American culture and they're just blown away.

[B]

I've just heard people talking about, I haven't seen any of these videos.

[C]

Some of the videos are hilarious.

[B]

It made me want to go to Texas Roadhouse because I was like, I forgot that this is a gem.

[C]

It's a delicacy.

[B]

And so I did go to Texas Roadhouse. They were like, like, this place is awesome. Because they, like, they apparently they brought Europeans some bread, and they were like, we didn't order that. And they're like, no, it's free and if you eat it all, we'll give you more. And they're like, and it comes with like, the best butter I've ever had. And then they're like talking about how, like, that's amazing. Free chips and salsa at Mexican restaurants. Yeah.

[A]

Refills on drinks are free refills on drinks.

[C]

And just the portion sizes being massive. You get so much food for your $$.

[B]

And just like, I saw someone too, was like, they went to Duncan. They were from the uk and they're like, I mean, the Duncan drinks are massive, but you kind of forget being here. We're like, that's a normal sized drink. It's like, no, that's really not. That is a clogged artery right there.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

And they're like, this is one drink. And they're amazed.

[A]

They were amazed because they're not used to Tipping.

[C]

Yeah, the tipping was interesting.

[A]

And they love ranch. People love rank.

[B]

Trying to take it home.

[C]

I'm sure the people that were in the Midwest, I bet they love their ranch. Oh, it's one of the best ranches in the Midwest.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I miss that, man.

[B]

Nothing like that makes you proud to be an American.

[C]

Proud to be an American.

[B]

Lots of ranch. Big old beverages. And buttered rolls.

[C]

Butter rolls. I saw one video of. I think the. There were some men that came from Japan and they went into Bass Pro Shop. That's like a trip even for Americans. You go in there, you're like, whoa, there's so much to look at.

[B]

All the.

[C]

All the animals, and then they're looking at all the guns. I don't know if I can say that.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

All the guns.

[C]

Can you say that? The pew pews. And it was just like, yeah, that's a crazy thing. Which is like a crazy sight to see.

[B]

Yeah, that was crazy.

[C]

Yeah, you know, that one's crazy.

[B]

That was crazy.

[C]

But it was a funny video I saw.

[B]

See, for the people that are not necessarily sports lovers, I respect it. I can have fun if someone else turns it on, but I'm not gonna seek it out. I was like, man, what a missed opportunity to go to Disney because someone posted all the screenshot of the Disney World app or Disneyland app, like, the queuing lines during the time of these World cup games.

[C]

Oh, it was like.

[B]

No, it was like 10 minutes.

[C]

Well, Caleb was sharing the stats about the World Cup. One of the games. It wasn't even a final game. It was Cape Verde versus Argentina. Maybe it had 2.7 billion viewers. And the Super bowl gets, like, 125 million viewers. 2.7 billion viewers.

[B]

That's a world population.

[C]

Wait, we should guess. This is a good trivia question. I'm going to say. Don't tell us. Addie.

[B]

4.

[C]

I'm going to say 152 billion. What?

[B]

The world. Oh, my gosh. Say that again.

[C]

Okay, 11 billion.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

It is 3 point or 8.3 billion.

[B]

Okay. I thought I was mad at this.

[C]

I was like, there's a billion.

[A]

What's the most populated country?

[C]

Singapore.

[B]

I was still really off, but.

[C]

Oh, India. I'm sorry. It's India.

[B]

Singapore.

[C]

So small per capita.

[B]

Let's stop with the trivia.

[A]

Okay, let's go.

[C]

It's definitely India.

[A]

Let's keep going.

[C]

Wait, so there's only 8 billion people in the world?

[A]

8.3.

[C]

How many people are in New York?

[B]

Credibility is slipping.

[C]

We are losing our audience. They're like, we can't trust anything these girls say.

[A]

This. This podcast is about populations.

[C]

Listen, I don't know facts, but I have good opinions.

[A]

What would be your. What would be your guess at the population of New York?

[C]

I was gonna say a billion.

[A]

19 million. Shoot.

[C]

Well, I'm glad we got that straight.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Maybe we cut this.

[B]

That's so. That's so far off.

[C]

Yeah, maybe my numbers are weird.

[B]

You've been saying some facts recently. I'm like, I don't know.

[C]

I know I say them confidently, and I have no idea.

[A]

We gotta play with some wagers with you.

[B]

Yeah, I would feel confident a little bit. Probably a million.

[C]

I'm sorry. I really. I went to a good college. I graduated with, well, good grades, but I did go to business school.

[A]

It was gonna clip this, and we're gonna. It's gonna go viral again with our. With our.

[B]

It's okay.

[C]

You can make me look dumb on the Internet. I don't. I accept that fate.

[B]

I accept that fate.

[C]

Anything to get the viewers here.

[B]

But we are nice, we are kind, we are loving. And I cannot say the same from people in the comment section.

[C]

That's a good segue.

[A]

Call them out.

[B]

No, it's okay. I'm not here to call them out because this person is a woman and a moment. But she did have the confidence to post from her personal account. It was private. So I posted a video of me just dancing with my belly. I mean, it comes with me wherever I go.

[C]

Yeah, you can't get rid of that.

[B]

I can't get rid of that. That's staying. I'm proud of that thing.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

And I. There was a comment that said something like, that outfit is. What did it say? It was like, so not flat. That outfit is not flattering her body at all. And a laughing, crying face, which I think the laughing emoji is what really dug a little bit deeper. But what dug the deepest was that it had, by the time I saw it, which was a couple hours, 500 likes. 500 cyber bullies.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

And that's the type of comment that actually is, like, mean, because it's like, some people can post comments that are, like, from left field, that are like, you're. Like, you're.

[C]

You're unwell.

[B]

I can chalk you off as being unwell.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

This person was like, oh, so unflattering.

[C]

Yeah. It was just a nasty comment.

[B]

It was just nasty. And I was like, wow. I never really, like, it really didn't go deep. At all for me. And it really didn't. It didn't. It's one of those things.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't like to even talk about it because there's so many more like nice people.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But it does bring up a lot a larger conversation that is relevant to like our topic for today's episode.

[C]

Right.

[B]

We're talking about body image.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And all the things about especially being a woman. And I think the part about that that was like what that that's memorable is like she was a mom. She was a woman.

[C]

So she's had a bump.

[B]

She's had multiple. She had multiple children.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And heaven forbid me at 35 weeks am not considering the highest priority when pitch is picking out my outfit for the day. That it's flattering.

[C]

Right.

[B]

That I'm looking snatched and skinny.

[C]

Right.

[B]

My, my. I'm so sorry about that. Like my main thing is really just being comfortable at this point or just

[C]

maybe that it fits.

[B]

Yeah. I can get it on.

[C]

I can get them on like.

[B]

You're kidding me, right? Right. And so that was just a little bit crazy.

[C]

A little ignorant maybe.

[B]

Well, you know.

[C]

Yeah. A little rude. A little rude. A little. A little mean. And those 500 people say it's pretty dumb.

[B]

500 people. But you know what's really sweet is that Audrey are. How are we related to Audrey?

[C]

Caleb and Matt's cousin.

[B]

Yeah. Our in laws are.

[C]

Our cousin in law.

[B]

Cousin in law. She commented on. Because this is the reason I saw it. Because if someone I follow comments, it goes to my notifications. And she just said rude. I love that. So nice.

[C]

Because I was like, okay.

[B]

I. I would never expect anyone in my personal life to ever jump. I chose this life for myself and I'm fully have to accept the ramifications of that. And I've made peace with that. But I would never expect anyone in my personal life to feel like they need to enter that public space. Like.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

As well. But the couple times it's happened, I'm like, why is that so nice?

[C]

So meaningful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She just said rude.

[C]

Rude. That's a great response.

[B]

Great response.

[C]

That is great.

[B]

Thank you to OCF for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

[C]

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Might I suggest using the serum during the day and then doing the body balm for evening and oil for those extra dry. You can really layer them well. They all go together so well. And also just in isolation, they work really, really well. And you're right, they smell like a spa.

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[C]

i feel like this is a very sensitive topic talking about weight loss, eating disorders, disordered eating. So if this is something that is hard for you to listen to, I think we would, I mean, just skip it if it's not healthy for your mindset at all. Yeah, I just think we care about you and we want you guys to be also the healthiest mindset that you are. So this is going to be a hard topic to listen to. I would just scoot to the end. We have voicemails at the end and are always hungry segment and other fun things. So don't click off. But maybe we'll put a time stamp or something on the screen that we could skip to. I think in general, women just so much struggle with body image and I feel like it's a lifelong thing that our bodies are always changing. And so how do we throughout our lifespan, how are we content through the changes? How have we learned to be content if we are, if we're not, how are we getting there? And I actually, I would get a lot of questions a lot about body image and I feel like it's been a long journey for me from middle school, high school, college, twenties, pregnancy, postpartum like and even being postpartum now. Actively working on how I see myself, my self esteem and my body image. So it just felt very timely to speak about it.

[B]

And we did ask you guys on the Always Here podcast, Instagram, a couple body image related questions just to hear from you guys. See, for off base, if we're like, hey, we're all on the same page here. It seems it says, what age did you struggle with body image the most? And 14 said middle school, 31% said high school, 31% said college adulthood, and 24 said pregnancy and postpartum, which actually kind of surprised me.

[C]

What did you think would be the biggest?

[B]

I would have thought that pregnancy and postpartum would have been above college and adulthood.

[C]

Really? Yeah, I think I. I think I personally would agree with the findings on this. I would probably say the same, like statistics here.

[A]

I would say here too. There's gonna be people who have answered this that haven't been through pregnancy or postpartum. So that can also skew it a little bit.

[C]

Yeah, that's true. I feel like when I was in college and I was entering the Internet space more so because at that time it was like 2014-18, that was the first time that I saw all these girls online with these different body types.

[A]

Types.

[C]

And that was the first time I felt like I compared my body to other girls online. Like, I remember the Jay Alvarez Alexis Ren videos and the Tumblr girl era and just this aesthetic and this type of body type. And also at the same time, it was like the booty girl era on Instagram, you know? So like, at one side I'm like, how can I be as skinny as possible but also have the fattest dumper you've ever seen? You know what I mean? Like, how do we get these two things in hand? So, yeah, I feel like college for me was when I. I didn't feel super comfortable in my body. And it was also the first time that I was like, learning how to cook and make food. And yeah, I think that was when things kind of started for me and the comparison was the hardest. And then when I had got pregnant, I felt a lot of freedom from that because I think when we were pregnant, you would agree. I'm just not thinking about it because they can't do anything to change my body for the better. It's just constantly going to be going in a different direction. Not saying that, I'm just like throwing it out the wall. But you know what I mean?

[B]

I'm at that point though.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, at the end. Yeah, I'M definitely not. I'm not counting anything. Yeah. I'm like, I'm gonna eat when I'm hungry and I'm not gonna think about what I'm consuming.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

As much because I just need to do what my body needs.

[B]

Totally.

[C]

So.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't think I'm as like surprised by that. I feel like with social media, obviously comparison is like a big thing that's talked about. Are there things that you have done within social media, like boundaries you've set in place to help with how you see yourself in your body and your, your self esteem, your body image.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like in general, gosh, this like goes so deep.

[C]

But okay.

[B]

In relation to social media, for myself, I, I don't, didn't feel the need to like limit what I was consuming necessarily as much as like how I was treating myself in my own body and how I was showing up personally online. But that's also probably because I have done this since, I mean I was 20. I was not like, that's when I

[C]

was like struggling the most.

[B]

Yeah. And so I think I was more so thinking about like, how am I? Like what am I, how am I showing up online? Like, and so for me, I was like, I decided, remember that was like the era there was filters everywhere.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And also Facetune. That was the first time people would like edit photos. I remember that. And I remember distinctly being like, I need to stop using these filters because I mostly was like finding myself using it when I wasn't wearing makeup or if I was like, oh, I don't really like, like the way I look right now. And I think filters can be really fun and non serious. But in the case that I was using it, it was more so for myself, but also for like the people that were following me and my audience. I was like, I don't want to just make it look like I wake up and I have smooth skin and like, I don't know.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Defined eyelash, like everything. Like I just didn't. I just wanted to show up how I was. And so that also helped me in turn just be like more comfortable with like, I am how I am. I'm showing up how I am. But then another thing that I've made a rule. I remember making this rule for myself in college too. I was like, I'm not gonna sit and nitpick my photos. So when I would take photos with friends, they'd be like, do you want to check it? I'm like, no, it looks great. I'm sure it's great. I. You captured how I looked in that moment and I'm content with that. And that's a really, that's a rule I still have, like, because, I don't know, you can just sit there and just scrutinize and scrutinize yourself.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I remember something that Sadie Robertson said. She was like talking about how like, the difference between like, she was talking about. I think she was talking about someone that she is friends with. That is like, a lot of people can like walk into a space and you're like thinking about like, me, me, me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But she's like, I want to change my mindset to you, you, you. And so that's a really good way, like, to get your focus off of yourself. I think in this days and age, it's almost easier than ever to just like think about yourself so much. Yeah. Look in the mirror. You're taking selfies all the time. Like, this is really easy to just, just dwell on your own physical appearance and how you're being perceived by others. But then you can really tell a difference when you're around someone that's like, oh, I just want to, I'm here to just, just like, know more about you, prop you up. And yeah, I think they're correlated, the two things totally.

[C]

I, I think that sparks a huge thing to think about in a point. Like, I think there was a shift for me, especially when I had my clothing store. I was taking hundreds of pictures of myself a week with try on products, all these things. And I would become obsessed with like, oh, I have to get the perfect shot. And then taking tons of pictures, going through and looking, oh, did I get it? Does it look the most flattering? Is it good going back and reposing? And it became this like, like obsessive thing. But then later it turned into a comparison of myself to myself more so than myself to others. And that became my biggest struggle was comparing myself. Oh, a year ago I looked way better in this and that than I do now. Like, oh, I must have gained this or that or, you know what I mean? Like, it became this obsessive thing where I had so much footage and obsessive thoughts about myself to myself and like this fear of my body changing in different ways that it became unhealthy. I would say.

[B]

Yeah, I totally feel that, like, comparing myself to myself was definitely way harder than anyone I compared myself to online. Yes. And even I remember a time, like, I think I was postpartum for the second time and Matt was like looking at pictures of me, and I was like, don't look at that.

[C]

We're not allowed.

[B]

I said, you're not? I. And I was so surprised. I, like, actually felt jealous of my husband looking at pictures of me from, like, a couple years ago. Yeah. I was like, don't. He's like, what? It's you. Like that. This is you. Like, I. I. And I'm like, no, I don't. I said, I certainly don't want to see that. And I honestly don't really want you looking at that. Yeah. And I just realized I was like, that's weird. Like, I need to really figure out what's going on here, because that is not normal.

[C]

I feel like the second pregnancy, I felt a little. I struggled a little bit more with my thought life around my body image than I did the first time with cj and there was a day, I distinctly remember this. I laid on my bed and I just looked through all these old pictures of myself, and I was like, I was so. I looked so good. Why did I ever complain about this or that? Like, I should just be content and happy. And now I'm, like, so pregnant, you know, And I'm like, why did I do that? That's such, like, a dooms thought. And it's just. It's not true. You know, it's like, your body's just in a different season, which is a gift and a blessing. And also, it's just life. Like, we're gonna fluctuate. We're gonna go through ups and downs. There are gonna be seasons for pregnancy. They're gonna be seasons for, you know, feeling and looking your best. Like, it's just. There's all time and a place. And so, yeah, when you're in a season where maybe it's not, you know, I'm not walking a Runway in my mind, you know, I'm like, it's okay. Like, I shouldn't be doing that and torturing myself.

[B]

Should we give a little history on our relationship with.

[C]

Yeah, I think that'd be really beneficial. Yeah. I feel like I was always very athletic. I played volleyball. OB in college, was the first time that I. And I know, Addie, this is kind of similar for you too, so you can talk on this in a bit. But, yeah, it was the first time that I had to learn how to cook my own food. The first time that I had to learn what I enjoyed for exercise and moving my body. And I think when I didn't know how to lift weights and do these things, like, well, I'm just going to run and I'm going to count my calories and I'm just going to get as thin as possible. Like, I never felt content in my athletic body at the time. I really wanted to be really, really skinny.

[B]

This is when you were.

[C]

This was in college. Yeah. And so I just remember I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app and I started tracking for the first time. And it became this game in my mind where I don't think. I'm sure if I talk to someone, they're probably like, yeah, this is an eating disorder. I. I've never been diagnosed that. So I'm gonna say it was pretty disordered eating. But I would try to eat like 12 to 1300 calories and I would go run miles and like, just try. It became like a game in my head of like, I'm going to try to eat as little calories grace as possible. And I remember talking to my roommates at the time and telling them, hey, I actually, actually feel like my thoughts around this are not healthy. And so can you guys check in with me on it? And they did, which I was really grateful for.

[B]

That was good of you to even be able to say that to them and, like, notice that in yourself.

[C]

Well, I lost a significant amount of weight. And then I think in my head I was like, oh, wait, this might not be, like, going down a good path. And I kind of struggled with that back and forth for a couple years, actually. And it wasn't until I got married to Caleb that I was like, okay, I'm done with the tracking thing. And I felt a little bit more freedom with it.

[B]

But why do you think that was?

[C]

I think just sharing my life with him. Like, I was gonna eat more foods with him. Like, we were going out and getting ice cream at night and having fun and going out late night getting food together. And it was the first time we lived together. So I feel like it wasn't like, just me and my house, like, like being really diligent about I'm only gonna eat half the candy bar and then go to bed, you know what I mean? Or whatever. Like, I wasn't counting everything. I was just having a little bit more fun and I just felt more freedom. But I did realize I listened to a YouTube video of this girl that was talking about intuitive eating, and I was like, yeah, that's me. I intuitively eat. And then she's talking about. She's like, you can't be an intuitive eater if you're not eating all day. And then you have no self control and you're binging your food at night. And it was like this light bulb moment where I was like, wow, that's really what I'm doing. I would eat, like, really small meals during the day, and then at night I would. I just could not control myself. I was so hungry and ravenous, and I'd be, like, frustrated that I couldn't stop eating. And that was kind of this, like, light bulb moment where I was like, wow, I really have to figure out what I'm doing because I'm just not. I'm not healthy mentally around this. And it started like this long journey of where I totally stopped counting. I challenged myself to eat whatever I wanted to eat and when I wanted to eat it and kind of started going through those motions. And it helped a lot. Like, I was like, I need to stop with the food rules. I can have butter. You know what I mean? Like, some of those things, I just started challenging all those thoughts that came into my head. And that took like two years, I felt like, of me, like, challenging myself, which took me to around like 25, 26. And then I got pregnant. So, yeah, I feel like that was leading up my young adult 20s. And then when I got pregnant, obviously I. The first time in my life that I felt physically incapable of something. And before I just ran a lot. Well, after, I was like, I never want to feel weak. I never want to feel. I never want my body to fail me again. And it kind of set off this different animal in me where it's like, no, no, I want to feel my body. I want to be strong as I possibly can. I never want my body to have a limitation because I didn't take care of it. And so then it kind of set me on this trajectory where I feel like I'm at now, where it's like, yeah, there are seasons, obviously, like, I just had a baby. There are seasons where I actively do want to lose weight, but. But it's not how I was before, where it's like, I'm starving myself. Like, it's like, how much can I. How much can I eat to like, make myself feel the best and be the most energized and fueled to, like, build muscle and. And do all this, you know, it's just like a totally different mindset now than I feel like I had before. And I feel like I've experienced both where, yeah, I've experienced the life of, like, starving myself to try to reach what I want and then also of having, like. Like that my body is so optimized and feels so healthy and so good. And so I feel like there's a difference in goals there.

[B]

Totally.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I feel really happy with where I'm at, obviously, day to day. Sometimes I still struggle, but, yeah, I feel like, overall, we've moved into a positive direction. No, totally. I feel like something. Sorry to keep talking. I'm talking so much.

[B]

No, it's all good.

[C]

I think. Sometimes I get online and I see women, you know, go through these seasons of, like, up and down or even just if. If I think in their 20s. Like, our bodies just change a lot as we go from our child bodies to our womanly bodies, then we go through pregnancy in those bodies. And I think sometimes I look online, I'm like, oh, wow, they lost weight so fast, or they did this and that. I think in my head, I just assumed no one's eating, and I don't want people to assume that about me or us. Like, I feel like I want people to talk about what they do to be healthy, you know, so that there's not confusion or, like, this temptation to just starve yourself. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Totally.

[C]

Yeah. That's all I really have to say about that.

[B]

Addy, you were also a college athlete. How did that shape your experience with body image?

[A]

And I. I feel like it didn't really affect me too much while I was in it. It was afterwards, after I stopped being required to work out and be active is when it really hit me, because I'm, like, trying to think. I didn't really struggle with it while I was in it. Even though there are a lot of beauty standards, especially in. I was on a dance team. I competed on stage. I competed in front of thousands of people, like, and performed in front of football stadiums and basketball stadiums. Like, there's a level of being put on for those, but I never really felt the pressure of that. It's when I stopped and then Covid happened. So it was all in one. And I didn't know. I, like, gained 15 pounds. And I had no idea how that happened because I just wasn't working out. I just didn't know how to regulate my own body at that point. And I couldn't get. Once I realized that, I still couldn't get motivated to, like, do it every single day and make it a habit and make it something that I love. I'm not really sure when that switched into it being, like, something that I really, really enjoyed and, like, had a dedication to it. What I actually did, because I You said you had your friends to keep you accountable. You're like, call me out on it if you see something happening. I did something. I made a private Snapchat story. And only I, like, posted I was gonna do this. And I only added girls who said they wanted to be on it to like, document my journey of, like, going through a fitness journey and, like, losing weight. But I didn't want it to be open to the world. I didn't want to post it anywhere else. And so I would kind of just, like, talk on there and then explain my workouts. And just so I had a level of accountability to myself. It was, like, kind of a fun thing to do to, like, talk about it. And I was like, oh, I posted on here that I'm gonna work out in the morning. I better go and do it, you know? And so there was a level of accountability there.

[B]

I think I was on there might have been.

[A]

It was kind of. It was fun. And then I made a private Instagram at some point, but it was. It was.

[B]

Oh, that's what.

[A]

Kind of cool. You're probably on that one. But that was. Once I had gotten to that point.

[B]

I have Snapchat.

[A]

Yeah. But I will say. And I. I'm. When we were sitting here and you were talking, I. I remembered when my fitness journey started. It was actually New Year's. I started it on, like, January 1st or whatever, after your parents gifted us a trip to Hawaii to come visit you guys. And I wanted to look good going to Hawaii. So I was like, I have three months to feel a little bit better about my body while I'm gonna go be in a swimsuit and be next to Abby, who's ripped CrossFit.

[C]

Abbott was a beast.

[A]

Whatever motivates you, you know? But. So there was a level of comparison, too, of being like, I'm gonna. Abby works out every single day. I'm gonna go be hanging out with her. I wanna go do CrossFit. I wanna do these things. So there's, like, there was a healthy level there of. It was a motivating factor, but not, like, a comparison that, like, they're better than me, necessarily. So I remember that being part of my journey. And then when we were there, we did CrossFit, and I felt good, and then we did hikes. I felt so good about myself and my body, and it just led me on a journey of losing that weight, which was really cool for me. But part of that journey, too, was I did calorie counting as well. But I know that a lot of people. It's not healthy for. For me, it. The way I looked at it, it was actually really freeing for me to be able to see what I was eating. I feel like a lot of the times I didn't know how much calories were in things and so I was eating a lot or thinking I wasn't eating a lot when actually the calories there were, were more. And so I was actually using it as a way to learn, learn about food and learn about how many calories are in everything. And I never really restricted anything. I just counted my calories. Nothing was bad, I counted it all. If I went and got ice cream, I put it on there and so then I could still learn about, oh, if I do go get ice cream, how much is in it? Or I always left room for dessert. Like it was just something I wanted to do. And then when I turned 21, I was like, I like to drink wine. I always left a little bit of calories at night for that. And it was never super restrictive. I always had 1800 calories a day. It wasn't down to really low when I was burning 2000. So it was very small gaps, which is not healthy for everyone. But for me it wasn't. It led to that journey. But I think that's when it was hard of figuring out how to work out and have a healthy body when you've just haven't had to try for it or your whole life because of active.

[C]

I feel like that's the. Yeah. In our 20s, it's like, hey, I can do the extremes and push my body to extreme to get to this place over here, but it's just not sustainable. So yeah, it's like, how do you. I think the goal is always like, how do we find this that's really healthy and sustainable for our body and our mind and so like, yeah, for counting calories, like, I think it's interesting after being pregnant, I talked to a trainer at Burn because I was like, hey, I need, I need you to navigate me. How do I do this healthily? Like, what are the macros I need to hit? What are the calorie minimums? I like, I need to go, I need you to tell me. And then I'm only going to track for a month because I know that it can be unhealthy for me. But coming out of a season where you're pregnant and you're like eating. I would literally eat everything inside. I would have four or three of dinner, you know, because I was so hungry sometimes there were Just habits I needed to break. Like, I didn't. It wasn't that I was still hungry at dinner. It's just that I was so used to getting up four times to fill my plate again. And so it's like, I just don't. My body doesn't need that anymore.

[A]

Great.

[C]

At the time, but so then I. It was good for me to just track for like a little bit just to help with those habits, but I had to do it under the supervision of someone that was like, gonna help me do it healthily.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's really important to do that. And I'll say. It took me eight months to lose that weight that I needed to. And I got back to a point that was sustainable for that time in my life. I'm no longer that weight. Even before I had a baby, I wasn't that weight because I'd gotten muscle. I learned to eat more protein and fill my body and fill my muscles.

[C]

And so, yeah, it came to a point where you were no longer consumed by the thoughts of, like, what am I eating? It just.

[A]

I don't do that story anymore. Like, I stopped doing that. I go to the gym and I have fun and I enjoy it. And so there's like, there's a time where that will. That will shift and then pregnancy and postpartum is a whole nother, whole nother story.

[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

I've had a relatively healthy relationship with body image pretty much my whole life. I think that, honestly, the thing that I think about is back to high school. And I think that was because I was involved in dance. And I say this with, like, so much love for my dance experience. Like, I don't like, I loved dancing in high school, but I do think, like, a lot of sports. But dance can be like, it's known for having, yeah, a lot of ties to, like, body image. And there was some talk around it, which is like, I feel like, I don't know. I understand there's a logistical thing regarding dance. Dance and like your physical size because there's. You're doing lifts with partners, you're doing. You have costumes, a certain amount of costumes. I like, this is like drilled into my brain where it was like we would do the Nutcracker and it was like, I have this many snowflakes, large snowflakes costumes, and I have this many large girls in the room right now. And it was more girls in the room than there were costumes. So she's like, when there's cuts, like, I can't afford more costumes. I understand that it's really a hard thing when, especially when you're in high school, like, your body is going through so many changes. You're already feeling uncomfortable about those changes and you just haven't found an equilibrium yet. And that's a really hard thing to hear.

[C]

And

[B]

I remember a lot of the girls in my class quitting because of these conversations. Like, body image related conversations. And I also do remember, I don't know how much I can say, but I remember girls throwing up in the bathroom before dance because of comments being made of, like, if we would eat Jammy John's at dance, like, you would really be really cautious of, like, what you ate at the studio because it'd be called out. It would be called out. Or I was like, I can see your Cheeseburgers through your leotard slate. And like, it's a crazy thing to say, especially for me. Like, I was a big. I've always had a large appetite. And I think that I. I always ask myself, I'm like, I wonder what. I think there's multiple things of, like, why I didn't have the same effect on me as it did some other girls. I attribute a lot of this to the women in my life. Like the older women, my mom, my grandma's, they were always, like, affirming to me and in my body, like, they were like, praise. And it wasn't even like, the conversation was about my body. It was really about, like, oh, my gosh, like, you're an amazing dancer. You're so strong. There's a lot of conversations about, like, strength and stuff. And like, it was just everything but the way I looked. Like, it was like, we love, like, we love watching you perform. We love how kind you are. Like, you're a great leader. Like, they were just like, it was like, never really. I don't remember a lot of conversations of like, oh, you look so good. Like, your body looks so good in this. Like, it wasn't the topic of conversation.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And also, all of them modeled really healthy relationships with food from when I was in high school. I can't say the same right now. Love them to pieces and. But I will say, like, I. I always. Like, I never saw my, My mom. Like, we would go to ice cream, she would get ice cream too. If we would, like, whatever dinner we had, she would eat the same dinner too. She ate the same snacks as we ate. And I think that that was something that I didn't recognize as a kid. But it means it meant a lot sub. Subconsciously.

[C]

Yeah. Like, you picked up on it and then you recognize that later on I

[B]

was like, I can eat that too. Like, there was never, like, oh, that's a bad food. This is a good.

[C]

Right, Right.

[B]

And so I think that shaped a lot too. And then also, I just feel like those, those years in high school really identity forming for me. And I feel like I had so many people keeping me grounded and guiding me towards, like, what was where my identity should, could and should be founded in.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And so then I just didn't feel like I was. Was as susceptible to the other voices that were telling me otherwise. I felt like I was more equipped to kind of discern, like, okay, that's not true. That doesn't give. That doesn't. That's not where my value or my Worth is found.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And, like, I think that just helped me. I was really rooted from a young age because of the amazing community and guidance I had. Yeah. But I definitely do remember that. And I remember when I first. So I've always wanted to work out ever since I stopped dancing, just because I was like, okay, I, like, love the way I feel like, when I'm dancing. Like, I love the way I feel afterwards. I don't know that I'm. I remember for a while I was like, okay, I'll just do Zumba, like, because I, like, love to dance. Yeah. And then I was like, okay. Once I started doing that, and I was like, okay. There's other forms of fitness that make me feel the same way, and it's, like, more accessible and more people my age. I feel like that was my thing with zoom. I was like, I'm always with, like, my mom's age friends. And so I got college. That's when I started getting into group fitness. My friends and I would work out together or, like, things like that. And then I just really, really, like, enjoyed it. And it was purely for, like, the social aspect, which is funny, because it's the same today. Like, I loved working out with my friends, and I loved just being around people. It was a really cool way to meet people. And then I did love the way I felt afterwards.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

And I also felt this, like, mental sense of accomplishment. Like, I was like, I just did that. And so I think just, like, from the foundation of my journey with fitness at that point, it was. It had really good. A really good foundation of, like, not being for a certain physique or for a certain number on the scale. And so I feel really grateful for that same. And I also was in a relationship from the time that I was in high school, like, of someone that was, like, always affirming me. And so that also helps, too. Like, I was never thinking, I need to change this about myself.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

And then someone will like me, or, I need to change this, because this person in my life does, like, like, this way. This looks like I always had. Matt is the most affectionate person. And so, like, I think that also helped me, too, to, like, I don't know, navigate that in a certain way. And then obviously, you have to. I feel like, pregnancy and postpartum uproot everything.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And then you have to really just, like, re. Set that foundation of, like, why? What is the purpose of our bodies?

[C]

Right.

[B]

Is it so we can literally be, like, so statues and, like, look as perfect as possible all the time, or is there something more to that? And I think that working out. When I was pregnant, I just kind of kept doing what I was doing. Working out. I was pregnant. I had this, like, epiphany moment where I was like, wait a minute. I'm working out. There's no way that I am going to lose weight by doing this. There. I'm just gonna keep gaining. There's no way I'm really gonna gain muscle while I'm pregnant.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

I feel like that's a losing.

[C]

I can barely live anything.

[B]

That's a losing battle. And that's when I was like, man, I really just genuinely love doing this fun. And I feel like I'm taking care of myself. And health is really. Health is important to me. And so I also like the way that it helped me eat more food,

[A]

be able to eat more in a healthy way.

[B]

And I was like, well, I love to eat. Which I will say, on days I don't work out, I don't eat as much. And I think that that's because I am less hungry.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And also because I have it in my head, like, I'm like, okay, I don't need to. I've never counted or tracked literally anything, not even to one day, just because I know my personality. And I feel like. I don't know. I feel like I might get obsessed with that. And so I was like, I'm not saying never say never, but at this point in my life, like, I'm like, I just don't. I don't even want to risk it. Like. Like, it also feels like I have so many things on my mind. I'm like, I don't ever have another thing on my mind right now.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And so, yeah, we can talk more about pregnancy and postpartum, because I feel like that is just one of those things where it's like. There's some really freeing aspects to it. Yep. And then there's also some really. You can find yourself in some pits in those periods of time.

[C]

Yeah. What did you say, Addie, on our call, like, postpartum, we looked in the mirror, and it's like, I don't recognize myself all. Was that you that said that?

[B]

That was me. That was you.

[C]

There are times when you. It's just so true. Like, when you're postpartum, after you have your. You know, you're going through pregnancy, your body changes. It's all exciting and fun, but then you have your baby, and you look in the mirror, you're like, I literally don't recognize my body. And I think it's really normal for women to then want to cling to wanting to feel something familiar again. And I think that's why a lot of women do, like, start obsessing about their weight and obsessing what they look like. And, like, I even look back at three months postpartum, and I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, I look so old. Like, my face looks so weird and my skin looks bad in my hair. And it's like, really. I was just really low on estrogen. And that's going to come back, you know, and, like, all that's going to come back. But I know girls that in those early months have gone and gotten work done and, like, stuff in their face and all this stuff. And it's like, because you're just so clinging to feel something familiar again with your body. I feel like I've definitely felt that times of just like, gosh, I just want to, like, feel like myself again and pretty and like a woman, you know, and feel like it's my own body again. And it just comes with time. Yeah. But, yeah, it's a hard season.

[B]

I remember avoiding the mirror after showering every time for, like, it was probably a week after having my first baby. I was like, I'm just not ready to see what that looks like. And then one, I think it was like, seven days postpartum. I was like, I'm gonna peek. And I remember just being like, I don't. I don't recognize my own body. Like, I don't know what I'm seeing in the mirror, but that. That ain't me. And I wasn't like. I think it was just a really, like. That's the part where I felt like the identity crisis moment. Like, I was like, I don't feel like myself in my brain already because I was aware of that. I was like, the things that once sounded fun don't sound fun. Like, I don't even know what I want. Like, I just felt so disoriented mentally. And then to look in the mirror and not recognize myself physically. I was like. It felt like I was like, everything through the Twilight Zone. I was like, what is happening? And that was. That was a really weird moment. I remember even just, like, touching and being like, is this real? Is this real? Yeah.

[C]

It just feels so, like, stretched out.

[B]

These ain't real.

[C]

That's never going to happen. This ain't going to come back together.

[B]

It was a wild.

[C]

But it does. I think that was the part of me That I was like. Like, even this time, I was like, I don't think it's gonna work again. I don't think it's gonna come back together.

[B]

You know, mine did not come back together how it was before. You know, that it improves.

[C]

I'm like, okay, just give it time. Be patient with your body. Those actually, for me, those first two months postpartum, I'm like, I am sexy as heck. That big old belly has gone down. I can cover my whole belly with a shirt. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, I am sexy. But then at like, 12 weeks. Weeks, when it's three months, I'm like, shoot. I still actually look like this.

[B]

Like, kind of felt sexy.

[C]

I'm like, getting away from the labor, farther away, but my body hasn't. Isn't changing. That's when I start to panic. I'm like, oh, it's not. Things aren't happening like I'm expecting them to. And I think that's where I started. Struggling was like three to four months. That was really hard for me within my body image, in my thought life. And then I was just like, abby, you just had a baby. I think I talked about this. I had to keep telling myself, you just had a baby. You just had a baby. Stop. It's not. It's not about vanity. It's about function. And I just had to keep telling myself that.

[A]

Yeah, I'm honestly feel that way right now that I don't recognize my body because I'm 16 weeks pregnant, and I really haven't been looking at myself in the mirror. And so when I catch myself in the mirror, I'm like, because you don't feel the baby kick yet. I am out of the slumps of the first trimester, and I'm so distracted by Brielle that I kind of forget. A lot's going on right now. I kind of forget. And then I look in the mirror, and I'm going, whoa. Oh, yeah, yeah. And so I just. We have a mirror. We have a bathroom with that. When the doors open and I'm in the kitchen, I can look and I can see myself. And I'm like, I don't. Why does it look like that? But, oh, there's a baby in there. Like, it's really like, I've never felt that feeling of being like, whoa. I don't recognize it. But I. The other day, I was like, oh, I see what people mean by that.

[C]

I think so many people can relate to that, even if it's not pregnancy. And postpartum. Like, I just think our bodies change so much in our 20s and our 30s. It's the first time that we're, like, fully independent and responsible for ourselves, like, making decisions for ourselves. I think a lot of people experience a lot of body changes, and so I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that feeling of just being like, wow, I just. I do. I've never looked like this before or felt like this. And I think it's just. I think mostly we're talking about this to be transparent and honest. Like, hey, we have insecurities too. We have struggles, too. This is not our. Our goal is never to stay in our insecure thoughts. Thoughts. And in those patterns of bad thinking. I really try to take my thoughts captive. I'm like, what is true? What is honorable? What is right? What is just? And like, if they're not falling in these categories, then that thought is out. Like, is it true that I. How I feel? You know what I mean? It's like, no. Like, let's. What is true? Like, I have a good heart. I have a good.

[A]

This.

[C]

I'm strong, I'm strength, like, taking care of kids. I want to have energy, you know, these things. This list of things is way more important than, like. Like, physically what my body looks like. And so I think I actively have to think about those things a lot. And I think I have to evaluate myself. Like, am I putting too much importance on my looks? Am I putting too much importance on this? You know, and always reevaluating. And I think that's always going to be like, something that we're constantly going through in our lifetime, or at least I will be for sure to keep things in check. So I think more so I at least want to talk about this just because I think. Think people don't talk about it because it is personal and it is. It can be triggering to people. And I think a lot of people. There's a lot of nuance to this discussion and topic, but I do think it's important to hear other people's thoughts on it. And, like, also just know that you're not alone sometimes in your hard thoughts or your mean thoughts to yourself and all these things. Yeah, we all experience it and go through it, but the goal is then how do we move out of that?

[B]

I just think that the question I always ask myself is, like, what do I want my life to look like? And what do I want my lifestyle to look like? And for me, that does include health, and I want to be able to do hikes and I want to be able to play with my kids and ride bikes and I want to be able to run and like experience do a twerking class with my friend. I want to be able to do these things. And I also want to be able to eat a candy salad on the 4th of July and eat pizza, have four parties in a row and eat whatever served at those parties and not think a second thought about it. And like, and I think that finding that like, if you're thinking of like the circle of like lifestyle and then how I want myself to like, what I want to be able to like health wise, finding that center point. I don't feel as like thrown off by one day of not working out and traveling all day and we're eating chilies and pizza and, and having way too much caffeine. And I did move like I got 1,000 steps in that day. Like, I'm not worried about it because it's like we're always finding, we're, we're always finding that like, equilibrium.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Point. And, and something that really helped me around that with fitness is like reframing it to being like, okay, I need to do this many workouts, like this long each, every single week. It's like, no, I just want to get movement in every single day if possible. And so that's just like, or like six days a week I want to get movement in. And that just makes it so much

[A]

more

[B]

realistic for the life that I want to live.

[C]

Totally.

[B]

And the way I want to eat. And so yeah, I just, it's, it's one of those things where it's like, as soon as you commit to this being like, I don't know, that's why I'm so afraid of regimen and routine. Sure. Because I also just know that I don't know why do I do this? Like, I'm like, if I say I'm gonna do something, then I have to do it. And so I like never wanted to set anything strict like that because I was like, then it will become like essentially an idol of mine. And I don't want that. I want the main, the my main focus to be like, what kind of life I want to live and how do I want to show up for everyone around me and for myself. And I also want to say I don't think it's good to look in the mirror to hurt too much.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I just think it puts, it put. It starts your brain thinking more on something that is just like not important. Like it Is van. It is vain. It is vanity. I wanna. I still want to dress in a way that is mostly flattering. I care about clothes. I really love clothes.

[C]

Yeah, they're so fun.

[B]

I want to wear things that flatter my body and I want to feel confident in what I'm wearing and how I look. But just staring in the mirror is not. Not healthy and good. And so I think if that is a problem for you, then you can just. I've seen people put reminders on their mirrors. Yeah. Like about what is true about themselves. And I think that that actually would be. Make a lot of sense.

[C]

Totally.

[B]

Because it can just deter your, like get your brain on a whole new path rather than like, I don't know, scrutinizing yourself.

[C]

The times in my life that I'm most anxious is when my thoughts are just consumed of myself. It's not about what's going on around me. It's not about circumstance. The times I'm most anxious is when I can't stop thinking about myself. What do I look like? How do I sound? What are people thinking about me? What about this? What about that? That is so sick. It makes me sick. It makes me anxious. It makes me feel like this. And so I. I think I heard it in a sermon once. But it's. The goal is not to think less of ourselves. It's just to think of ourselves less. Like, you are the healthiest and the happiest when you're thinking about others. Totally. You're not thinking about yourself. And so that's always. Sometimes when I have to catch myself, I'm like, I have to confess that to kill. Like my thoughts are just so me obsessed right now.

[B]

Now.

[C]

And when I share that and then I'm actively trying to fight that, I feel so much better.

[B]

Yeah, I do want to say my body pre babies and post babies looks very different.

[C]

The best thing that ever happened to me was my traumatic birth procedure because that really was the shift in my head that was like I could not walk. I felt so much pain. I like for a month was struggling to move and feel normal in my body. That changed the game where I was like, I'm not running to get a thigh gap. I never want to feel like I can't walk again. Like I just, I feel so grateful every day when I go into the gym. Like I used to get so anxious at volleyball workouts. I'm like, oh my gosh, how hard is the conditioning today? Now I'm like, how hard is the conditioning today? Like it's A game. It's just like switched in my head and I feel so grateful. I'm like, I can't believe I get to push my lungs to that capacity. It's so fun I did that. It's such a different mindset that I don't think I would have necessarily had if I hadn't had a lot of pain after birth.

[B]

There's nothing like pregnancy and postpartum though, to want to do something hard, hard with your body. Like, I literally, after having a C section, I wanted to do a Spartan and I felt good enough to do it and I talked to my doctor and I was cleared. So three months I did and I got criticism for it, but it's like, okay, because I didn't do it for them, I did it for myself and nothing felt better. Did I have an amazing time? No. Did I have to do some penalty burpees because I couldn't do some of the obstacles? Sure, sure. Was it like the best thing ever? Like, what did I have like a certain high afterwards? And I think it was so fun. Yes. And I literally did it by myself.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like I didn't do with anyone. So I'm like, who wants to Spartan in November? Because I really want to do another one. I think it was a, it was such an amazing thing to do because I was like, there was actually no competition. This because who's winning a Spartan at three months post. Post C section.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. We're not, we're not winning nothing.

[B]

We're not winning. I. I had a pump like right before and right afterwards and it was

[C]

Them melons be weighing you down on that Spartan, let me tell you.

[B]

Like, ah. I will also say I'm not competitive at all. So it was easy for me to do something and know that I'm not gonna place well at all. But that was like so fun. And I think that's just like everyone's missing the point. Like it wasn't to prove to anyone else, oh, I can do this.

[C]

It's not to get your body back. It's literally to just challenge your brain.

[B]

To challenge myself.

[C]

And it was freaking fun and I

[B]

had a great time.

[A]

Yeah, I feel like that's also with like the mental health side of it too.

[B]

Of totally.

[A]

When I went to my 6 week checkup after delivering my baby, I was like, please tell me I can work out.

[B]

Please.

[A]

I need to go move my body. I need to do that. It's so good for my mental health. I don't even care if you clear me to have sex. I just want.

[C]

I just need to walk out. Just need to move my body, please. I need the endorphins.

[A]

And so I feel like it's kind of shifted to that point where when I was first trying to, I was working out to lose weight and then I fell in love with it. And then it's a mental health side of it to being like, I need to move my body today because it is so good for my brain. And I'm such a better human. Even I can speak to Blake too, like when he's working out, like. Like he is mentally so much better. Especially I think if you struggle with depression or anxiety, I think it's really good for you to go work out your body. And that's what at least we've experienced from marks my experience totally.

[B]

I think it's a confidence boost because you kept a promise to yourself. You said, I'm gonna do something hard. And then you show up and you do it and then you're telling yourself, like, okay, I am a person that keeps promises to myself. Like I, I can be, I can trust myself. I can do hard things. And I also want to model that for my children. Something else that moms get flack for is going to the gym when you have. When you're a stay at home mom or you have really, you do? I do. I don't know. I do like this. This girl's so vain. She's going to the gym every day. Like, where are your kids when you

[C]

go to the gym?

[B]

I'm like, they're at the gym. They go to the gym with me. And even if they didn't, like, it would be totally fine if I got someone to watch my kids for 45 minutes for me to do a workout. This is a lie. Like, it is a lie that you can't take care of yourself as a mom and that there's not also benefits for your children and seeing you keep a promise to yourself and also take care of your body, take, prioritize your health. And they think it's really cool too and they want to work out too. And it's just one of those things where it's like, I never want them to view this as a, as like a trade off of like, I did this so now I have to do this workout or this is that it's the same. Just this is something we do every single day. It's a non negotiable and it's something that's fun. We look forward to it and what a gift it is to be Able to move our bodies in this way and to show up for ourselves and to afford a membership and like just viewing it, just reshaping that from the very beginning of like all of this, we're grateful that we get to do it. And it's not something that we're like punishing ourselves. And so we do it.

[C]

We don't do it because we aids a candy salad. Like, we do it because we get to.

[B]

We get to.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And also, man, I have some of my best workouts the day after a candy salad.

[C]

So it's good energy.

[A]

We're just working out with each other. We're like, we all ate that candy salad.

[C]

Yes. I'm still eating that candy salad. I brought homes. I brought home some baggies.

[A]

Me too.

[C]

I'm gonna eat them every day.

[B]

I stay eating some.

[C]

But I think that's a good conversation.

[B]

We'll continue this conversation about how we want to raise our kids and talk about food and diet culture and body image and all that stuff with our boys and girls on Patreon.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We are back and ready to hear from you guys because we have talked enough. Let's do Ask Abby's and listen to our voicemails.

[C]

Ask, Ask, Ask Abby.

[B]

Hey Abby. Abby and Addie, I was wondering what is your favorite type of workout class? Like do you guys like crossfit? You like Pilates, yoga? And then also what is the type of workout class that you would like to try that you maybe haven't tried before? Love the podcast.

[C]

Been listening since the beginning and yeah,

[B]

so thankful for you guys. Bye. That's sweet. Thanks so much for being here. What do you guys say? We all do burn.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What's your favorite type of burn workout?

[B]

I like metcon.

[C]

I love athletic conditioning and metcon. I like the conditioning way days.

[A]

Everyone really. I know conditioning days. I feel like, like or when no one's there.

[B]

But metcon is when there's.

[A]

I like metcon.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I would say Metcon when I'm wanting conditioning, which I actually like conditioning more when I'm pregnant. Don't know why.

[B]

Yeah, strength is really bad when you're pregnant.

[A]

Yeah. And then arm days, upper body is always my favorite.

[C]

Huh. I. I've just always loved cardio. I always have like. I mean I ran for a long time. I love to run and even in volleyball. A lot of those workouts were cardio based plyo athletic conditioning type workouts. So I feel like it's just what I've been used to and I've always enjoyed it. I Did yoga for a long time. I actually, when I used to work at Lululemon. I don't know if I've ever talked about that. And they give you a free stipend each month to go to join a gym. You have to join, like, a community fitness class.

[B]

And I joined wearing Lulu around.

[C]

Probably why I got the job there. And I joined a yoga studio. And yeah, it was, like, nice. I don't think it. It wasn't good for me to be my only form of exercise.

[B]

I like to get my heart rate up.

[C]

It was hot yoga. But, yeah, I needed. I needed something a little bit more energetic.

[B]

I did CrossFit for a year, and I liked it for that year, but I think I only did it because it was really the only option there. I wouldn't, like, seek it out if I had a plethora of options just because it was like, I didn't need to kill myself every time. And I feel like the pressure in CrossFit is to always, like, max out PR. Like, do something crazy. Like, people got seriously injured at our gym.

[C]

Yeah. Didn't someone break their neck doing head.

[B]

Broke their back doing handstand push ups

[C]

or headstand push ups? What are they?

[B]

Handstand push ups.

[C]

Oh, headstand push ups. Doesn't make sense.

[B]

Well, you are going from your head, like, pushing up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And there were a lot of injuries, but it was a really cool opportunity to like, like, push myself to do new things that I would have never tried before. And I do think they. It is a relatively safe space to try those things. I wouldn't do it after becoming a mom. Like, I'm like, it's not. But fun workout class that I want to do. Is that like bungee?

[C]

That's what I was gonna say.

[A]

I think it'd be so fun to do it together with our friends. Like, the bungee class would be so

[B]

fun ones, too, that we. That I have gotten to try are like, obviously. What do they call it?

[C]

Turn Up.

[B]

Turn Up. The twerking dance class.

[C]

That is so fun.

[B]

It's a great calorie burner. Oh, my gosh.

[C]

I get cramps in that class.

[B]

I did an aerial silks class that was really, really fun. And I've always wanted to do that. I would do it again.

[A]

I did silks growing up, so I think it'd be really fun to go back.

[C]

That is cool. You did silks growing up?

[A]

At my dance studio. They had silks.

[C]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's a fun fact, Addie. That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. Did you know I pole vault did, too?

[C]

No. Did you know that?

[B]

I knew that.

[C]

That's actually legit.

[B]

She's got a lot of strong.

[C]

That's cool. That's kind of scary.

[A]

Secret height. Yeah, it was fun.

[C]

Yeah, it was fun.

[B]

I just like group fitness. I want someone to tell me what to do. I don't want to think about it. I don't know what to do on my own.

[A]

The girl who does turn up, she works at Lifetime and she's. She's going to be coming out with a. Like a step. Step. Okay.

[B]

I've done.

[A]

And I think it'd be fun to go to her.

[C]

Step is fun.

[B]

And also, have you done the weighted drumstick class?

[C]

I've never heard of such a thing.

[B]

£ it's called £ you did this?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

You guys, I've done, like, so many. I did kickboxing for a while.

[A]

Trampoline ones.

[C]

Kickboxing is really fun.

[A]

Wait, have you guys ever seen those videos of people doing the tramping trampoline classes? They're like little. Oh, the little ones, they're all close together. Oh, yeah.

[C]

I bet it's hard. So hard.

[B]

You really think so?

[A]

I don't think I can do that.

[C]

I think you would get a cramp.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You know what I really want to get into? Seriously? I was. I want to do trail running.

[A]

I know. Sorry.

[B]

Probably a little by yourself.

[C]

I was gonna join a trail running club here. I was gonna join a trail running club here when we first moved here, but then I got pregnant and I was really not safe to run on, like, jacket rocks when I'm pregnant, so.

[A]

Okay, let's do the next question at

[C]

night and you need a headlamp and that just seems intense. Hey, this is Mallory.

[B]

So I have in laws that live

[C]

out of state and they want to come stay with us for 10 days.

[B]

How do I tell them that that's a little bit too long?

[C]

Thanks.

[B]

Bye, guys. It's your husband.

[C]

That's your husband's job. The gas. By gust. Just. I mean, any. Anybody coming to stay at your house for 10 days is insane. That's a way too long of a time to stay at someone's house for anybody.

[B]

For any.

[C]

Don't you think?

[B]

My parents lived with me for two and a half years.

[C]

Oh, sorry. You're right.

[A]

Living with you is different than visiting.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

I think.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I agree with you. I think some people I know.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Have done part of the time. They're like, you're more than welcome to stay for three nights. But the rest of it, I. We just. I'm sorry, we can't accommodate.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know how you actually say that.

[C]

I think your husband needs to say you don't ever need to communicate that to your in laws that. That they're not welcome to stay that long. That's. That's a bad message from you. That's. That's 100 a husband.

[A]

I will say, even at this point in my life, anytime there's like a no to your. My in laws, I'm like, so, Blake, can you call your mom before that? Will you call your grandma and tell

[B]

her that it's your job to talk to your parents and it's their job to talk to their. And it's always their job to take your job to take the spouse's side first.

[C]

I think you could be like, hey, half the time, if you guys want to stay here, that's perfect. And then the other five days here. Are some hotels close by? I honestly don't know.

[B]

I think usually, like, it's just a lot to host.

[C]

Yeah. Just be like, that's a long time. Like, I think we might get under each other's skin. It'd be better if we broke it up.

[B]

Yeah. Hi, Abby. Abby and Addie. My name's Megan, and I'm from the Midwest, specifically small town Missouri. It's officially summer here, and it made me wonder, what midwestern summer dessert do you love or look forward to the

[C]

most when you're visiting home? One of mine and my family's favorites

[B]

is strawberry pretzel salad.

[C]

Did you say that? I was gonna say strawberry pretzel salad. Also custard. There's nothing like a good old custard from the Midwest. It's so good. They got the best ice cream.

[B]

Andes.

[A]

I can't think of a dessert that's like Midwest. Only.

[C]

Strawberry pretzel salad is so good. If you're not familiar, it's a pretzel buttery pretzel crust with a layer of strawberry jello that's also mixed with, like, pineapple juice. Excuse me. And then a Cool Whip. Right. Topping. Oh, it's so good.

[B]

I didn't know there's pineapple juice in it.

[C]

There is. It makes it extra sweet.

[A]

I'll call it Midwest because my mom makes it, and she's from. In the Midwest is. We call it chocolate lasagna. It's like crumpled up cookie or not cookies. Oreos with, like, cream cheese as the bottom layer, then a layer of Cool Whip, and then a layer of pudding. And then another layer of Cool Whip on top and it's. And then you put it in the fridge and it hardens and it's so good.

[B]

My mom always makes blueberry buckle, but like a really easy version that was basically just like yellow cake mix on top of like blue wild blueberries.

[C]

Like a dump cake.

[B]

It's really good. It's like a dump cake cake. Yeah.

[C]

Yummy. I mean, I'll never be. He can't beat a gooey butter cake. I'm sorry, but gooey butter cake, St. Louis. So good. Also, I was thinking more about the last voicemail, and I think what your husband has to say is when they say ten days. Yes. To go verbally. Whoa, ten days. Okay, well, let's think about that. That's. Then. Then their head. They're going to be like, oh, is 10 days too much? It's subtle cues. That's my advice.

[B]

She's just sitting on that.

[C]

That's a good idea.

[A]

It's a good idea.

[C]

I think it's all. You're spying.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

10 days.

[C]

Okay, well,

[B]

I think if you have kids, you can always blame it on the kids.

[C]

I just think you answer the phone like that. Whoa. Do you guys see 10 days? Oh, man. Okay.

[B]

That thing that's hard about that too is like, especially if you're a stay at home mom.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You have to entertain during the day.

[B]

Yeah. You're like, like, hey, right. You need to occupy yourself for a little bit.

[C]

I think if you. If. Okay, this is. We're still talking about this. Something that we got to the point of. When Caleb and I first moved here, we had so many visitors come out and visit, which was really fun. But it got really expensive and hard to host people when we had work during the week and people would stay from like a Thursday to a Tuesday, you know? And so we just started telling people, like, hey, during the weekend we were down to hang out the whole time. But hey, during the week we're gonna do our own thing. And, like, we're gonna do our schedule. We're gonna go to work, we're gonna have our routine. So, like, on the weekends we're down to clown, and in the evenings we're down to hang, but during the day we're gonna do our own thing. So it also kind of helped with the not feeling like you have to host for so long. So that could also be an option, like maybe let them stay. It's like, hey, we'll hang out at night and during the weekends, but during the day we're Gonna do our normal routine, and you guys can go explore. Yeah.

[B]

We'll give you wrecks.

[C]

We'll give you recommendations.

[B]

Okay, guys, if you want to call in as well, we'll put the number in the description. But I'm also going to recite it for you right now in case you have a pen and paper ready.

[C]

Get that?

[B]

602-456-9690. And now it's time for Always hungry.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm doing the corn pasta salad with bacon and creamy pesto dressing that I brought to the baby shower.

[C]

Good.

[B]

It's kind of unique. Thanks, guys. Yeah, I feel like that recipe, I was like, this looks. I'd saved it on my Pinterest a long time ago and didn't have an occasion to make it. And it's really summery and good. I think the key is to use corn on the cob.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

For the recipe. And, like, shave it. And it doesn't really take that much extra time, and I feel like it makes it a lot yummier.

[C]

But the.

[B]

It's a interesting combinations. Like this. Is it Orchietti pasta?

[C]

That's what I was gonna say. That orchetti.

[B]

I feel one.

[A]

That's Orchetti recipe, too. Is it the same one?

[B]

It's like a flat shell.

[A]

I was like, wait, she reused them because I still have half a thing of pasta. I'm like, that's a good.

[B]

Unfortunately, I did buy a new bag.

[A]

I couldn't give it yourself.

[B]

Now I have two half bags.

[C]

Yeah, it's like a flat shell. It's like a. It's good.

[B]

Yeah, it's good. Shell. Got pesto, got bacon, got corn.

[C]

Oh, it was a great flavor. Almost like a smoky flavor. What was in it?

[B]

Bacon.

[C]

The seasoning.

[B]

Pesto.

[C]

Really so good. I wasn't expecting pesto. I was almost thinking like a chili. No.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Well, I don't remember it right.

[B]

A lot of salads.

[C]

I did eat a lot of that, though. Mine's also my corn salsa salad.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

The one that I brought to the fourth of July party. And then I also made it yesterday, and I'm just. We're eating it throughout the week as, like, a side. It's really just packed of chopped veggies, which is always good. And it's got cilantro in it. So if you don't like cilantro.

[B]

But there's cilantro in mine too.

[C]

Yeah. This. The dressing on it was really good. It's like a lemon or a lime olive oil. Dijon dressing. And it's just really good with a chip. Great side. Great on top of things. I hate so much of it.

[B]

Corn chip.

[C]

And everyone asked for the recipe.

[A]

I did. You sent it to me on accident and I was like, no, I actually wanted the recipe.

[C]

Yeah, it's really good. And really, it's like the perfect summer recipe. Love it.

[A]

That's fun.

[C]

I actually have a lot of new recipes that I'm gonna share throughout the next couple weeks. I've been so adventurous lately.

[A]

Guys, it's my third week of doing cooking.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Of doing cooking? I'm ordering groceries. I have recipes, and then I'm ordering my groceries and then I'm doing it.

[C]

What were you doing before?

[A]

Buying chicken and potatoes and rice and hoping some meals came together and then Blake and I would fight over to make dinner. Yeah. And so I've just been like, I get to mostly hang out with Brielle all day. So then when Blake gets home, he can hang out with Brielle and I'll cook and sometimes read my book or put on Love Island.

[B]

Yeah, perfect.

[C]

Perfect time. Love that.

[A]

Good job.

[B]

It's gonna be a bummer when Brielle is aware of Love island and you

[A]

have to watch it in front of her.

[B]

I know. Yeah, I can't watch anything now.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know. Yeah. I used to, like, watch the shows that I wanted to watch while I was cook and I put a headphone in, but then TJ would be able to see my computer screen. So, like, well, when the kids go to bed. Well, thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast. Watching the podcast. If you guys would love. Well, we would love if you left a review of five stars, please. That's really the only acceptable option.

[B]

I don't see why we would need to die.

[C]

That and if you leave a verbal review written out typed, that's really cool too.

[B]

It's not verbal.

[C]

I'm losing it. Reagan 1999 said. I love this podcast. Five stars. I was so thrilled to hear that you guys were starting this podcast. I genuinely love Fridays because I get to listen to this podcast. You guys are so funny, kind hearted, and make me feel like a friend. It has been such a gift to me as I became a mom this past year. Thank you so much. Love you guys. Congrats on your baby and thank you for the sweet review. It always makes us smile and it's just so crazy that you guys listen to this. So thank you guys so much. Like, subscribe, share, review, and remember, we're always here.