The wedding night & waiting 'till marriage: Your most chaotic questions answered!

Summary

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Always Here – Episode Summary

Episode: The Wedding Night & Waiting 'Till Marriage: Your Most Chaotic Questions Answered!

Hosts: Abby Howard & Abby Howard (plus Addie) | Daylight Media
Date: April 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Always Here" is an audience-driven Q&A extravaganza, tackling listeners' most honest, chaotic, and vulnerable relationship questions. Sister-in-laws Abby and Abby, joined by their co-host Addie, respond to voicemails about family planning, boundary setting before marriage, transitioning into parenthood, wedding regrets, and building deeper relationships—with their trademark warmth, relatability, and candid humor. The team also dishes on pop culture favorites and offers supportive advice on handling comparison, negativity, and life transitions.

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Key Topics & Notable Insights

1. Family Catch-Up and Life Lately (01:15–05:40)

• Recap of dealing with a lingering family stomach bug and large family gatherings.
• Discussion of environmental guilt and the convenience of paper plates for big get-togethers.
• Abby shares hopefulness about emerging from postpartum fog and excitement for a new haircut.

Notable Quote:
"I feel like I'm coming out of that fog... from just postpartum hormones. Like, I feel like a different person." — Abby (04:57)

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2. Pregnancy Updates & Pelvic Rest Challenges (06:08–09:49)

• Blake discusses being halfway through pregnancy and the relief (and mild anxiety) after making it public.
• She shares details about being put on pelvic rest due to placenta position, including temporarily giving up the gym and sexual activity.

Memorable Moment:
"Nothing will get you lit up like, a little, you're not allowed to do anything." — Abby (09:26)

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3. Listener Voicemails – Parenting & Pregnancy

Age Gaps Between Kids (11:26–15:05)

• Callers ask about planning ideal age gaps between siblings.
• Abby and Blake reflect on their own experiences—unexpected gaps, losses, doctor-advised wait times—and share comforting perspective that perfect planning is often out of our hands.

Notable Quote:
"Life just has a way of reminding you that you're not in control." — Blake (13:24)

Transitioning from One to Two Kids & C-Section Recovery (16:22–20:33)

• Insights on recovering from a c-section while caring for a toddler; moms "just make it happen," relying on support and adapting to physical limitations.
• Both Abby and Blake emphasize the difficulty of the first months, recommending arranging extra help if possible.

Memorable Moment:
"Moms make it happen. You do, like, you just make it happen." — Blake (17:03)

Starting Solids for Babies (20:33–24:29)

• Addie and Abby advise new moms not to stress, try different approaches, and normalize babies rejecting foods at first.
• Blake notes her own "mini case study": the type of feeding (purees vs. baby-led weaning) didn’t determine kid food preferences.

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4. Discipline Styles in Front of Your Kids (24:34–28:17)

• Handling the tricky situation of other parents disciplining their kids differently: Abby and Blake suggest affirming that every family does things their own way, while gently discussing what's acceptable/not acceptable in your own home when kids ask about it.
• Emotional stories shared about witnessing harsher discipline in public.

Quote:
"That's actually abuse... Some mommies make mistakes too." — Blake (27:29)

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5. The Stay-at-Home Mom Decision (28:17–31:26)

• Supportive discussion about choosing to leave a corporate job to be with young kids, emphasizing the unique value of that season and suggesting trial runs if possible.

Quote:
"You'll never get this time back." — Blake (29:15)

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6. Pop Culture & Fun Questions

Favorite Reality TV (32:10–36:44)

• "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives", "Love on the Spectrum", "Beast Games", "Survivor", "Love Island", "Housewives" discussed.
• Listener stories tie in: e.g., a caller’s brother-in-law competed on "Beast Games".

Memorable Moment:
"If I don't know what to watch, I'm just gonna come to you, Addie." — Abby (36:35)

Silliest Would-You-Rather: Clown Nose vs. Clown Shoes (38:20–39:34)

• The group unanimously agrees on clown nose for ease of mobility and jokes about making it their "trademark."

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7. Personal Values & Bumper Sticker Beliefs (39:34–43:13)

• Fun chat about what they’d put on their cars, weaving in stories about honking, road rage, and being "pro-honking" (to Blake’s horror).

Quote:
"If someone has multiple bumper stickers, they're probably not mentally stable." — Abby (40:12, joking)

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8. Alternate Career Paths & Previous Jobs (43:23–48:47)

• What the Abbys and Addie would do if not in content creation: personal chef, real estate agent, QVC host, fitness trainer.
• Past jobs: nannying, retail, waitressing, substitute teaching.
• Abby shares how her influencer career grew organically after her clothing business closed:
  "I honestly didn't plan for it to happen. I just... didn't have a job." — Abby (48:08)

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9. Friendship & Sister-in-Law Dynamics

Meeting and First Impressions (49:20–54:00)

• The trio share stories of early impressions—shyness, intimidation, learning to be comfortable together—and how their relationships grew.

Navigating Friendships Without Kids (54:05–55:44)

• Honest talk about the growing gap between friends with and without kids, accepting changes, and being proactive about hosting and meeting new mom friends.

Notable Quote:
"I think it's okay to miss your old life while still loving and appreciating your new life." — Abby (54:28)

Deepening Sister-in-Law Bonds (55:49–58:46)

• Suggestions for spending intentional time together (walks, meals, nail appointments), plus advice for building long-distance relationships, including thoughtful gifts and personalized messages.

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10. Dealing with High School Negativity (59:04–61:05)

• How to block out drama and mean voices in high school:
  • Focus on your identity apart from others' opinions (for Abby, this comes from faith).
  • Seek at least one genuine friend.
  • Remember high school is only a small, temporary part of life.

Encouraging Quote:
"When you're facing negativity, mean voices... your identity is not what people say about you. It's about what God says about you." — Abby (59:30)

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11. Prioritizing What Matters & Sacrifices for Family (62:10–66:13)

• Each co-host shares personal stories of making difficult choices to prioritize marriage, family, and relationships, sometimes at the expense of previous dreams or "ideal" careers.

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12. Wedding & Marriage Advice

Wedding Regrets & Recommendations (67:18–75:21)

• Be present over being perfect; pause to appreciate guests; focus on the “why” (the vows, not the party details).
• Don't stress about things going awry; enjoy meaningful moments with loved ones.
• Addie’s regrets: not hiring a wedding videographer and not being present for a special moment with her mother.

Quotes:
"At the end of the day, if you are married to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with... you're just not gonna think about those [minor] things." — Blake (67:52)
"Just be chill. That's my recommendation." — Addie (75:02)

The Wedding Night & Waiting 'Till Marriage (75:21–87:43)

• Practical, candid prep for the wedding night for couples who've waited:
  • Don’t drink too much—be present and remember it.
  • Take a shower before intimacy (but do not start in the shower, jokes Addie).
  • Set expectations together before the day (premarital counseling helps).
  • Expect nerves but embrace the meaningfulness—it's not about performing or movie-magic "fireworks," but deep connection.
• Honest talk about boundaries while engaged: strict physical boundaries may be needed (including not kissing), relying on group settings, and seeking supportive mentors.
• Grace for those who stumble—acknowledgment that there's always forgiveness.

Quotes:
"There's so much messaging that is so negative towards waiting... That's just a lie from Satan." — Blake (78:55)
"If anything, it was very, very wholesome and sweet and beautiful." — Blake (79:03)
"The fight for purity is worth it... It gave me such a confidence in Caleb... I can trust him." — Abby (83:42)

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13. Closing & Recipes (90:11–91:42)

• Fun, family-friendly recipe recommendations: Easter-themed Rice Krispie treats; quick, healthy one-pot quinoa turkey bowls.
• Shoutout to podcast fans and friends; gratitude for community.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Family & Life Updates: 01:15–05:40
• Pregnancy/Pelvic Rest: 06:08–09:49
• Listener Qs: Age Gaps, C-Section, Transition: 11:26–20:33
• Starting Solids: 20:33–24:29
• Discipline Q: 24:34–28:17
• Stay-at-Home Mom Decision: 28:17–31:26
• Pop Culture/Reality TV: 32:10–36:44
• Fun "Would You Rather": 38:20–39:34
• Bumper Stickers & Beliefs: 39:34–43:13
• Alternate Careers/Past Jobs: 43:23–48:47
• Friendship & Sister-in-Law Stories: 49:20–58:46
• Negativity in High School: 59:04–61:05
• Prioritizing What Matters: 62:10–66:13
• Wedding Regrets & Advice: 67:18–75:21
• Wedding Night / Waiting for Marriage Qs: 75:21–87:43
• Recipes & Closing: 90:11–91:42

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Signature Moments & Listener Quotes

• On Parenting:
  “Moms make it happen. You just make it happen.” (Blake, 17:03)

• On Sex Before Marriage:
  “The fight for purity is worth it… It gave me such a confidence in Caleb… I can trust him.” (Abby, 83:42)

• On Friendship Shifts:
  “I think it’s okay to miss your old life while still loving and appreciating your new life.” (Abby, 54:28)

• On Wedding Night Nerves:
  “Oh, it’s time to go. I was, like, nervous, but, like, it was amazing.” (Abby, 80:47)

• On Sacrifice and Perspective:
  “You’ll never get this time back.” (Blake, 29:15)

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Tone & Style

The entire episode brims with vulnerability, humor, and encouragement, staying relatable for listeners navigating similar life stages. The hosts don’t shy away from the “hard stuff”—from grief and disappointment to intimacy and insecurity—but always infuse hope, grounded advice, and laughter.

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For more listener stories, real talk, and Abby & Abby’s famously honest takes, listen to future episodes (and remember: “We’re always here!”).

Transcript

[Addie]

Protein is now at Starbucks, and it's

[Blake]

never tasted so good.

[Abby]

You can add protein cold foam to

[Blake]

your favorite drink or try one of our new protein lattes or matcha.

[Abby]

Try it today at Starbucks. So good, so good, so good.

[Blake]

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[Abby]

That's why you rack. Did you know that I got cold feet on our wedding day?

[Blake]

On the day of Abigail, I did

[Abby]

text Caleb, and I said, I can't do this.

[Blake]

Oh, my gosh, Abby. He's probably pooping his pants. This is something that really triggers me. Post loss is talking about age gaps, honestly, between kids. Really? Because it's like something that I, like, tried to perfectly plan.

[Abby]

I'm pro honking. Abby. If someone is at the light and they're not going, you don't think. I think I'm gonna give him a little love tap. I guess I'm pro.

[Blake]

Ew, Abby. I'm icked out.

[Abby]

Welcome back to Always Here. I'm your host, Abby Howard, and Abbey Howard. Hey, yo. Hey.

[Blake]

How we doing, ladies? Ooh, the stomach bug hasn't left.

[Abby]

The stomach bug has lingered around. It's just hitting more people. You got it.

[Addie]

Last week I said didn't know what it was like for a baby to puke. Now I do. Unfortunately, Brielle had it over the weekend. She only puked twice. Two separate occurrences. A lot during those occurrences, but two separate occurrences. And now she's better. She's not throwing up, but she's still kind of not 100% back yet.

[Abby]

Was she fussy and stuff in between? Like, you could tell she like her tired.

[Addie]

I can tell she didn't. She didn't want me to be put down, which is not normal for her. Like, she really likes to play independently, and she just wanted to sit on my lap the whole time. Like, she would sit there and just lay next to me. I'm like, what are you doing? This is not normal. Which was sweet. Like, I loved cuddling her, but I could tell she was just, like, not feeling the best. Totally unfortunate. And then Blake got a little nauseous, a little sick. I'm still good. Everyone stay away.

[Blake]

I'm scared.

[Addie]

I'm scared.

[Blake]

No, I feel Bad. I'm sorry.

[Abby]

It's so scary. We. I thought we were in the clear.

[Blake]

We.

[Abby]

I mean, I talked about this a lot last episode, but that morning that we filmed the podcast, I disinfected her house. I scrubbed everything. The couch, front, back, underneath tops, like every surface. I vacuumed, I mopped.

[Blake]

Well, they also doctor you off scoop when you were sick, so.

[Abby]

Yeah, but they didn't come inside. They just put on our porch. So now our family, that we had family come in town this weekend, and it is starting to run through them as well. I know.

[Addie]

Pr.

[Abby]

Jen.

[Blake]

Poor Aunt Jen.

[Abby]

I called her. Like, I'm praying for your girl. Feels so good.

[Blake]

Because they had a flight today too.

[Abby]

They. But they push it back.

[Blake]

Okay, good.

[Abby]

I know.

[Blake]

No one wants to puke on a plane.

[Abby]

No one wants to puke on a plane.

[Blake]

So, yeah, our Matt and Cale, our husband's extended family, was in town like the whole week, but we really mostly saw them on the weekends. Yeah, that was fun.

[Abby]

So fun. It's always fun having people in town. We have people, but our family's always in town. I know. It's literally.

[Blake]

I'm like, wow, this is just a really tight knit family.

[Abby]

Totally. I know.

[Blake]

It's fun.

[Abby]

It's so fun. So, yeah, we spent so much time outside. You came over here, we swam, we had pizza. You guys made a good Hawaiian meal the next night.

[Blake]

Grilled some chicken. Yeah, it was fun. I learned the art of paper plates after that first night. Abby is always the dishwasher, I feel like. And I was like, well, you cook and clean. Thought about doing paper plates.

[Abby]

Not me trying to off my job.

[Blake]

No, there's still plenty of dishes. And I was like, wow, this is amazing.

[Abby]

So freeing.

[Blake]

I still will never use paper plates. Just when it's just my family or even just a small group. But that was a lot of people. That was 11 adults, right? Like three kids. So I was like, okay, we'll do paper plates. And it was so convenient. If you haven't discovered paper plates, here is your opportunity.

[Abby]

I feel like my family went through a phase where my mom just kind of threw in the towel and she said, I'm done doing dishes for a while, and just said, paper plates. And we were. We were like a solid paper plate family for a couple years, which I know is not good for the environment. But you know what?

[Blake]

Actually, you know what? Aunt Jen said that she thinks that they did some studies and they said that maybe this was a paper plate company, but that running your dishwasher is more Energy consuming than using paper plates.

[Abby]

Well, I believe that paper plates use less water, but don't you think, like the landfills, maybe?

[Blake]

It doesn't feel right to me either, but, you know, I won't. I still am not a paper plate person. I don't know. I wasn't raised that way.

[Abby]

I know, but sometimes you just sometimes

[Blake]

gotta do what you gotta do.

[Abby]

You're right. Yeah. I feel like that has been. I don't really have, like, a solid hope in a heart, honestly. We're just talking about it, but I feel like that was it. Having family time was really fun. Recovering from the stomach bug. My mom gets back in town tomorrow.

[Blake]

That'll be great.

[Abby]

I'm so excited. Oh, and I get my hair done tomorrow. That's super hopeful.

[Blake]

I'll just change your whole life.

[Abby]

I know. I feel like I'm coming out of that fog where I feel like the last three weeks, the fog is lifting out of my mind from just postpartum hormones. Like, I feel like a different person.

[Blake]

Well, I feel much more clear. Holds on to memories.

[Abby]

It does. And it's weighing me down.

[Blake]

Cut those off.

[Abby]

It's weighing me down. I wanted to wait until after I went through all the postpartum hair loss and all that to get it.

[Blake]

Your hair still looks really thick.

[Abby]

Thanks. Yeah, it wasn't. I mean, it definitely hit me a little bit on the sides, but not horribly. Not as bad as I did with cj, I think. But, yeah, that's super hopeful. I think I'm gonna go shorter.

[Blake]

Yes, you should.

[Abby]

A little bit of brightness.

[Blake]

That will be great.

[Abby]

Yeah. I haven't ever gone, like, above my shoulders.

[Blake]

Yeah. Yeah, I actually have. I think I'm kind of dramatic with my hair transformation. It's like.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

If I'm gonna go, I want it to be. I want people to notice that my

[Abby]

feelings did get hurt one time when I was there for four hours. And then Caleb goes, what did you do to your hair? Oh, I was like, it looks amazing. But I think that's the signs of a good haircut is, like, it was very natural looking.

[Blake]

Yeah, I think it'd still be natural looking. It'd be a big difference.

[Abby]

She did a really good job. But, yeah, Caleb did not notice. So. Yeah, hopefully. We'll see.

[Blake]

Yeah, it'll be exciting. My hope is just being halfway through the pregnancy, now being public.

[Abby]

Wow. Is that relieving?

[Blake]

You know? Yes and no. It didn't feel like it was like some big secret that I was, like, worried about hiding. Like, I don't know, some people were like, oh, you can kind of see your bump here. I was like, I don't care. Like, it's not like, some big. But it is. It is. I don't know. A part of me did kind of want to keep it private forever, but you really can't do that. And I also feel, like, purpose in sharing, like, about it, too. So. No, it feels good. My hard, though, is that at our anatomy scan. I'm sorry I'm whining about this so much to you guys. I just really. First of all, I think it's a little deeper than this, like, thing, because I just wanted everyone to just be like, everything's perfect. Stop worrying. Everything's fine. And it's like, okay, baby looks great. Which is obviously, like, we're so grateful for that and do feel relief from that.

[Abby]

Yes.

[Blake]

But just, like, where the placenta attach, it's in the lower part of my uterus. And so they have recommended pelvic rest for at least four weeks. And so this means I can't go to the gym, which is, like, obviously my thing that I talk all the time about, like, loving so much. It's like, a great part of our morning routine. Getting out of the house, socializing, getting activity in. And especially at this stage of pregnancy,

[Abby]

you have so much energy.

[Blake]

At this point, I feel like, so, like, what's the word? Like, I think the biggest jump you take in, like, belly size is literally from 18 to 22 weeks.

[Abby]

Oh, yeah.

[Blake]

And so I'm like, oh, man. I really wish I could, like, move a little, like, keep this thing going.

[Abby]

Right.

[Blake]

But no, so it's fine. I've actually learned to really love my walks. I've been going on long walks because they did say I could do walks. And I listened to some audiobooks, having a great time. People were like, you take your kids with you, right?

[Abby]

I'm like, no, no.

[Blake]

You think they could sit in a stroller for four miles, right?

[Abby]

No, no, no.

[Blake]

Especially it's been, like, over 100 now. Like, they cannot do that.

[Abby]

It's so. I miss going on walks. It's so hard getting everyone corralled to go on a walk. Like, people are like, just take your dog on a walk more often with poor Lewis. But I'm like, to put two babies, two kids in a stroller, a horse on my waist, and then CJ's usually on a bike, not in a stroller.

[Blake]

That alone took about 45 minutes.

[Abby]

It's not a. It's not like, a leisurely walk. I'M like, this is. This is actually an adventure. Yeah. Like, this is. I had to mentally prepare for this. So. Yeah. No, no. A solo walk is the dream.

[Blake]

Also, no intercourse. I'm just going to say that.

[Abby]

Oh, that's the hardest part.

[Addie]

I'm sorry.

[Abby]

Just go throw that one in there.

[Blake]

It's not just Matt. I'm sorry.

[Abby]

Sor. You guys gotta lock in. You gotta lock in. We are not locked in. Lock in. Abby.

[Blake]

We are not locked in.

[Abby]

You gotta mentally get it together.

[Blake]

You saw what I googled the other week.

[Abby]

Three more weeks. I know. You need to stop.

[Blake]

Pathetic. It is actually pathetic. I'm like, don't kiss me.

[Abby]

He's complimenting you every five seconds. Your pup is so cute, sweetie. You're like, get away.

[Blake]

I'm like, get away, you devil.

[Abby]

Oh, my gosh.

[Blake]

That's fine. It's fine.

[Abby]

Nothing will get you lit up like, a little. You're not allowed to do anything.

[Blake]

Yeah. Literally the second trimester. Are you kidding?

[Abby]

I know.

[Blake]

Gosh dang it.

[Abby]

That's the best time.

[Blake]

Fine. We'll go back in three weeks.

[Abby]

Clock in. You need, like, some distraction techniques.

[Blake]

I have none. I just go to bed. I'm literally like, I just have to sleep.

[Abby]

I mean, that's good.

[Blake]

I actually have been sleeping a little bit more.

[Abby]

Good, good, good.

[Blake]

Anyway, moving right along to this episode is about you guys. This one's for you guys.

[Abby]

I'm so excited for this.

[Blake]

I am really excited we have. Should we share our topics?

[Addie]

Sure.

[Blake]

So, okay. This whole episode is dedicated to voicemails from you guys because we love hearing from y'.

[Addie]

All.

[Blake]

And it's just, like. It just. I don't know, it's the most rewarding part of this show. I really feel like knowing that, like,

[Abby]

obviously we see the numbers, we see comments and stuff, but hearing your voice, I just feel like it puts humans to what we read and see online. And so it just makes it feel so. Like, it feels really real for us.

[Blake]

Right. And, like, a small element of your life, too. Like your personal life. You hear about so much about our lives. Right. It's really cool to get, like, a little bit from you guys, too. So that's what this whole episode is. And these are, like, we call them major buckets. We're talking about pregnancy and parenting, marriage and dating, friendship. And then we just have some for fun ones. Maybe a couple pop culture ones sprinkled in there. We'll see what we get to. Because we get a little chatty sometimes. But, yeah. Thank you to everyone who sent voicemails. And then if you. We will always do this segment in future episodes, but just not as many as this current episode. So if you do want to call in, the number is 602-456-9690. Woo.

[Abby]

Thank you, Addie and Hannah, for going

[Blake]

through and picking these out.

[Addie]

It was great hearing everyone's questions. I hate the ones we can't make. I'll also give a PSA if you're leaving ones that are like over 45 seconds. There's less likely that they're going to make it in the episode, so keep them under like 30 and you're way more likely to make it in the episode.

[Abby]

Okay, little PS out.

[Caller]

Hi, I am 10, almost 11 months postpartum and I am down bad with baby fever. I want another baby so badly. My husband wants to wait until we have a vacation in August to get pregnant after. What was your logic behind the age gap of your kids? And do you wish that you did anything differently in terms of the age gap between your siblings? Thanks so much. Love the podcast.

[Abby]

That's a great question.

[Blake]

Do it make a baby? I feel like whenever you're excited about it, yeah. But you both have to be excited about it, so that is hard. But you can just say, hey, I can be pregnant in August while we go on vacation. No big deal, I guess.

[Abby]

Yeah. Where's the vacation?

[Addie]

Get pregnant now and then you're in your second trimester in August. Then you'll feel great.

[Abby]

That's so true. Yeah. Because if you're in your first trimester on vacation, I could see him being like, let's just wait a little bit till after that.

[Blake]

Also, if you do both agree on needing to wait, that's really not that huge. Yeah, it's not that long, but I get that. Oh, my gosh. I'm like, just make it one. Make a baby.

[Abby]

Well, okay, tell us your age gaps.

[Blake]

And your logic was unplanned with Griffin and Augie. So they were only 13 months apart and it's so fun now. So I'm like, not a good. But I'm not the person to talk to, honestly, because I'll give you bad advice and be like, just do it. Just make another one right away. But I do forget that it was really hard in the beginning with the two littles, like, literally a year apart. I had two babies for a little bit there, and then we perfectly planned our third one and they were gonna be two and a half years apart from the youngest to the baby. We unfortunately lost that pregnancy and Then just were like, whatever we were. Like, whenever a baby comes, we' be grateful. And so now we have our third August or July baby in a row, you know, which I was trying to avoid living in Arizona. But life just has a way of reminding you that you're not in control. And so. Yes. And so that gap will be three and four years between my kids, which was bigger than I ever.

[Abby]

Wow. I didn't realize. This baby and Augie will be three

[Blake]

full years, basically because this baby's due date is August 11th and Augie's birthday is August 10th.

[Abby]

Oh, that'd be amazing.

[Blake]

It's like, exactly three years. That's kind of feels big and daunting, really.

[Abby]

I feel like that's what we want for our next gap, ideally. So the gap between CJ and Vivian is about 2 years and 3 months. I. We were pretty strict about waiting the 18 months because I had the unplanned C section with CJ and my doctors are pretty firm with me about wanting to wait a full 18 months to get pregnant, which I was like, that honestly sounds like a great timeline anyway, because then they'll still be relatively close in age.

[Blake]

And.

[Abby]

Yeah. So we waited, and then basically 18 months was like, okay, let's start. And then we got pregnant right away, thankfully. So I think an ideal timeline for us this time, have these two close, then have a three year gap, and then have two more kind of close.

[Blake]

That's what we're gonna do.

[Abby]

Yeah. I think we want, like, a buddy system, ideally.

[Blake]

Okay. Actually, this is something that really triggers me. Post loss is talking about age gaps, honestly, between kids, because it's like something that I, like, tried to perfectly plan, and it, like, all worked. And so then I was like, this is so dumb to even talk about because it's so out of my hands, but.

[Abby]

Right.

[Blake]

I understand that it is warrant. Like, warrants a conversation, but, like, ideally, that's what would happen next for us. Yeah. I think it's good to have them close, but also, like, I know a lot of people that have kids with a gap, and it's great too.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

But I totally. I'm like, if you're excited about having a kid, then I feel like. Then have a kid.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby]

I don't know.

[Blake]

That was one of our husband's cousins. What's our relation to them?

[Abby]

Who?

[Blake]

Eva?

[Abby]

Oh, she's our cousin's wife. Our husband's cousin's wife.

[Blake]

Our husband's cousin's wife. They're asking about knowing when to start your family. And I'M like, whenever you're both excited about it, like, I don't know, obviously,

[Abby]

or until the good Lord gives. Until it just happens.

[Blake]

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[Caller]

Hi, I was just wondering if you could talk about how the transition goes from having one baby to two. My husband and I are considering having a second one. I was also wondering how it is having a C section when you have a toddler at home. That's something I'm really nervous about, but if you could just give your advice and things on that, that would be great. Thank you. Love listening to you guys. Bye.

[Addie]

One side note is I think both of these last few voicemails were while they were driving, which I just think is sweet. They're listening.

[Blake]

That's mom life for you.

[Abby]

Yeah, Mom's on the go. Well, do you want to enter the C section with a toddler?

[Addie]

Part.

[Abby]

Part of the question.

[Blake]

Yeah. Unfortunately, I feel like I blacked out.

[Abby]

I feel like you handled it really well.

[Blake]

Really?

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Abby, that is so nice.

[Abby]

And Griffin was still at the age where he wanted to be held a lot. I don't remember that. Really. Like, you. It didn't stop you, like, you know, and you recommendation. No, no, no, no. I mean, like, either way, whether you have a baby or not, like, if you have a C section or vaginal birth, you still have downtime to where it's like you. It's hard to pick up your baby.

[Blake]

Yeah. I will say moms listening. You know what I'm about? Like, you feel this what I'm about to say? Moms make it happen. You do, like, you just make it happen.

[Abby]

You just gotta do what you gotta do.

[Blake]

And so, like, I remember it being difficult, but you just. You just simply make it happen. And so, yeah, C section after. When you have a toddler, I think as candid as you can just be like, I wanna hold you so bad right now. But, like, obviously early on, not a good idea. So I would just sit down and put them on my lap all the time and then make sure I would always have, like, ice packs. Like the Freedom moms. Uh oh.

[Abby]

Uh oh. Oh, no, there's another brand Find another

[Blake]

brand and then I'll shut up about it. No, they have a great frozen corn, baby.

[Abby]

Frozen corn.

[Blake]

I'm not gonna turn on them. They have an amazing C section recovery. Man, that has a ice. We can make it hot or cold. And that cold on that really. It also protected the area so he could sit on my lap. We also load your baby in their car seat. Like, not in the whole. Like, you don't have to lift up the whole doona.

[Abby]

Mm.

[Blake]

I also feel like this might. I don't know if this is medically sound, but moving as much as possible does help. Oh, I think, like, moving a lot. Like, with my toddler, even though I was, like, sore. Like, it wasn't like, sword. That was like, oh, this is hurting my healing progress. It was sore in the sense of, like, this is just what it's gonna feel like. Do things like, as this is healing. But I feel like if I were to stay still, it would have been worse. Like, I would go on walks, even, like, kind of really. Right after.

[Abby]

I think you healed way quicker than me. From those. From the C section. I remember I saw a video of you skipping on.

[Blake]

Why was Instagram?

[Abby]

And I was like, what the heck? Why is she skipping? I can't skip. And so I tried it, and I was like, you know what? I think I need to move more.

[Blake]

Wait, why was I skipping? And then, you know, actually got up and tried to.

[Abby]

And then I was like, can I do that? You were, like, a month, what, 16 days behind me. And I was like, wait, I don't think I'm. She's. I probably need to move some more. I couldn't walk. I didn't walk a mile from her.

[Blake]

Well, that was the difference of having a toddler, too. Like, you kind of.

[Abby]

Yeah. You have to.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

So I think you're actually probably gonna love it. Your recoveries. I think you're gonna. It's gonna help you propel her forward.

[Blake]

Propel. Yeah.

[Abby]

Yeah. And then what was the other part of her question?

[Blake]

Oh, the transition from one to two.

[Abby]

Oh, okay. I actually think I was humbled pretty good. I think it was a lot harder for me.

[Blake]

I'm surprised you saying that, because you did so good.

[Abby]

That's really sweet. I think my mom, if she was here entering, she'd be like, yeah, you needed help. I think those first four months, I was pretty surprised that I was still struggling, at least internally. I felt like I was struggling, and I had a lot of help. Thankfully, my mom stayed for eight weeks, and I think if she had left earlier. Obviously you figure it out, right? But I was like, I remember getting upset with myself because I'm like, I still can't picture myself taking care of CJ alone in the mornings without like really feeling super overwhelmed with taking care of C.J. and the baby. It was really just the morning specifically. So yeah, I think I was just pretty humbled by that. But you get over the hump once you start. I think after those eight weeks when I was forced to do it by myself and like practice it and get into routine, it obviously was way smoother. So yeah, it was pretty hard. But I think if you have a support person, like my husband didn't get paternity leave, so my mom was there to help me. If you have just one person to help you with your first child, it makes it so much better.

[Caller]

Hey guys, My name is Megan. I'm a first time mom. The first week of March, my five month old girl is going to be turning six months and so we're going to be starting solids and I'm kind of scared about it, but I wasn't sure how you guys went about feeding your first time babies solids. Thank you guys. Love y'. All. Bye.

[Blake]

Addy. This is you.

[Addie]

I know this is scary. I actually, when I was listening back, we talked about it on one of the episodes that I was really nervous to start solids and it was really stressing me out by the time we had recorded that episode and then I reviewed it. So we record on Wednesdays. I review the episode on Monday. I was like, what the heck was I stressed about?

[Abby]

Good.

[Addie]

It's one of those things you don't know what you're doing so it stresses you out, but then you start doing it and it becomes fun. So I'm like, okay, just pick what she want. Does she want to pack it? Do you want to get her oatmeal or do I want to give her actual things to munch on and just choose? And I kind of just didn't stress about it. I live in the world that I'm like, everything's probably gonna go well and I'm not like super stressed about her choking or things like that happening, even though they can happen. But I just started with the breast milk oatmeal, which is what you both recommended for me. And that was great. She loved it. And then I've done packets and then I've just given her a couple like berries and fruits and just things for her to chew on. And it's been fun once I started it and not stressed about it. I was more so stressed about the schedule and what I just did in my. I was like, okay, you feed her a bottle when she wakes up. And then an hour after that I gave her a snack of some sort. And I just did that every week window. So then I didn't stress too much about it.

[Abby]

That's awesome, Addy. That's really good advice. I think too, the not stressing about it part. I feel like the Internet has so much information on feeding your baby that I was like, I remember feeling really overwhelmed by it. And I never did the baby lead weaning with C.J. and I don't really plan on doing it with Vivian either. But I. I've had a lot of. I think it was really good for me. Just like doing the baby oatmeal purees and then working our way up to harder foods and like munching on stuff is great. I think too the expectation at first, just know that your baby's not gonna

[Blake]

like it at first.

[Abby]

Like I just gave Vivian oatmeal last week for the first time and she did not. Like the first time she was spitting it out because it feels different. Like the texture of it is so new. But then the second time she loved it and ate it. So just like practice makes perfect and they'll figure it out.

[Addie]

Yeah. Introducing things multiple times because just because the first time they eat the oatmeal they don't want it doesn't mean the second time they're not going to want it. And so just keep introducing things and do what you're comfortable with. I think that's the most the best advice I could give. I'm for some reason in my brain giving Brielle rice doesn't make sense to me. But I see other people giving their kids rice. I'm like, she can't chew. It's just going to get stuck in her throat. For some reason. Rice scares me. So guess what? She just doesn't have rice right now because I'm not ready for that. But she could have broccoli, she could have carrots. Like, there's different things that I'm comfortable.

[Blake]

Both my kids actually love food from the jump. They loved it like from the jump. I actually quickly. You said you gave milk first and the food we like right away went to food and then just kind of a little bit of. They really loved food. But I did two completely different approaches. So with my first, I did baby led weaning like by the book I downloaded Feeding Littles. Like did the Thing made the food, like, actually get. Like, there was gagging involved. It was the whole nine yards. And then with my second, I literally did strictly purees for the first, like, good chunk. And I am here to report, just in my small case study, my second is a much better year than my first.

[Abby]

Oh, no.

[Blake]

So I don't. I say this to say don't stress, because. Which is what you guys both said, but, like, they're gonna. Your kids are gonna be who they're gonna be, and I feel like their palates are gonna just. Just develop into their palates, and there's not as much we can do about it as we would like to think that we can. But it's a fun season, so don't. I don't know. It looks different for everybody, too. Like, it is fun. It is.

[Abby]

I agree.

[Blake]

It makes your life a lot easier if you're nursing.

[Abby]

Oh, like, oh, my gosh.

[Caller]

Hey, Abby. Abby and Addie. My name is Brittany. Great job on a podcast, by the way. I listen to it all week while I get ready for work each morning. My question is, when someone is disciplining their child in front of your child, and it isn't the way they are disciplined, how do you approach that with your child and explain to them. Thanks. Keep up the good work.

[Blake]

Yeah, we've had this conversation, and then we always say, hey, that's what they do in their house. We do it differently here. Or that might be okay for them, but it's not okay around here. Like, sometimes, like, just saying that we can have different expectations, and it's only felt, like, necessary when they ask. And so it's usually involving a form of discipline that, like, obviously we don't use. But then there's also kind of, like, I don't know, socially deviant in a way, like, it involved. I don't know how to explain. I'm not gonna say.

[Abby]

I'm confused.

[Blake]

There's a certain. Like, there's a certain type of punishment that we don't use.

[Abby]

Oh, okay.

[Blake]

And this is. This is the one that anything involving physical punishment, we don't use.

[Abby]

Oh, sure.

[Blake]

And so, like, when that has happened in public, like, I think it actually kind of scares our kids because they're like, wait, that's actually something we're not allowed to do. Like, and so I feel like that's where it's come up. And so it's like, well, they do it differently in their house. It's hard, though, too, you know? But I don't know. It's hard because they start to really observe. Like, I feel like Griffin is really observing.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Now.

[Abby]

And how people. Different people are disciplined.

[Blake]

But I think it's a good lesson to learn. Like, they do things differently than how we do it in our house. But this is how we're still gonna do it.

[Abby]

Totally.

[Blake]

And they do it differently, and that's okay.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Blake]

But has that happened with CJ Yet?

[Abby]

He hasn't really asked. No.

[Blake]

For instance, we were at a play. A play area, like, a local one, and, like, a mom, like, hit her kid. Oh, what do you do in that situation?

[Abby]

Dang.

[Blake]

Like, in the face.

[Abby]

What?

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

I have no idea. Oh, gosh.

[Addie]

I like, what, you, like, smack the kid across the face unless they ask.

[Blake]

She was yelling, so he was already drawing attention. And then she hit her. Hit her kid in the face.

[Addie]

And, like, your kid is asking, like,

[Blake]

I think he was scared. Yeah.

[Abby]

Were you near her?

[Blake]

I was far enough away, so one of my friends was really close to her, and I was far enough away, but I saw it happen.

[Abby]

I think if it was near her, I would have been. I would think. I would have gone, oh, wow.

[Blake]

I literally.

[Abby]

I'm not afraid of. I think that's exactly how I would

[Addie]

say how you address it with your kid.

[Blake]

I think I just, like, stood up and looked at her because I was like, hey, I want you to know that everyone's watching you.

[Abby]

Like, well, she's doing that in public. What is she doing behind her?

[Blake]

And so he, like, came up to me afterwards, and he was like, that mommy hit. And I was like. And I was like, yeah, that wasn't a good choice.

[Abby]

And then.

[Blake]

But then there's other, like, forms of physical punishment that is, like, less jarring, but still, like, dang.

[Addie]

I feel like there's the difference between that's not how we do it and we do it differently versus that wasn't acceptable.

[Blake]

Yeah. Like a spanking. Like, I'm like, I'm not gonna. I'm just like, they do things differently.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

And so. But then with that, I was like, that's actually abuse.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

So I was just like, yeah, that wasn't a good choice. And I was like, mommy's. And, like, some mommies make, like, make mistakes too. I said, I hope. She said, sorry. Like, I was just like, that's a

[Abby]

really good way to handle that. Abby's uncomfortable.

[Blake]

I mean, you don't see it a lot, but we've seen it a couple times in an airport, too. Like, the dad was just screaming at his kid, like, in a way that Was like, yeah, how can this not be verbal abuse? Like, and so. And then of course, my kids are just staring.

[Abby]

I know the screaming is so interesting because I'm like that person. I always try to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm like, that could just be like a horrible day, the wit's end. But like slapping a kid across the face. I think I'd have been, I think I would have loudly go, wow.

[Blake]

I think you would actually.

[Abby]

I'm pretty sure you would. Yeah. I'm not afraid of confrontation.

[Blake]

I just was like, if it's like

[Abby]

blatantly wrong, that's crazy.

[Addie]

You know, that's really crazy.

[Caller]

Hi, my name is Angelina and I'm calling to see if either of you have any advice if I should quit my corporate job and stay at home with my 3 year old and my 1 year old or if I should continue doing it. I've been debating this for a couple months now and not sure what to do. Thanks.

[Blake]

Oh my gosh, the age old question.

[Abby]

That is the age old question.

[Blake]

I've been listening to a lot of Dave Ramsey about this exact topic.

[Abby]

Really?

[Addie]

I want to hear it.

[Blake]

Oh, well, it's a hard topic to talk about because I do feel like

[Abby]

so situational for every person.

[Blake]

I think that the data is pretty clear about like the benefits of staying a mom, being with the baby at least from the ages of like 0 to 3.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

That, that's like the best for the child. But everyone's financial. Like some people, like financially that is not an option. And so the goal is never to guilt those people into thinking they're not doing the best. Because I think you can really raise your kids excellently and still work my parents full time.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

The whole time I was growing up. But if it's like without knowing about her financial situation, it sounds like she's financially able to do it. Right. Yeah. So it's like if you want to, I think you should just do it. You'll never get this time back.

[Abby]

Yeah, I agree. Yeah. If it's something that you can financially do. I think it's, it's, it is the best. Like it's so amazing getting to stay home and just be with your babies. If you're like worried about the transition of that. I actually one of my best girlfriends, they were a dual income household and for a while they did a test. Well, they only ever lived off of his income. Even though she made more.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

And so they kind of did a test run of that to see and they were able to make it work. And she really wanted to do that and so they made the switch. So if you can test run it, just like go for a little while living off of one income and then decide. But yeah, I don't think you'll ever, ever regret staying home with your kids, like ever.

[Addie]

If you're financially stable. And that's something that I agree it kind of sounds like she is at that point. Then I would say do

[Blake]

could be even a thing too where you're like pare down your hours. I don't know what her I was also thinking about. I feel like a corporate job would have an option for that.

[Addie]

I feel like I don't want to quit part time. But if you want to do a part time and I transition out, then I'm more comfortable doing that or taking a break. Seeing if they'll let you take a sabbatical. Do it for a little bit. Just see it just really depends on the job. But I think even me always saying that I was gonna work all the whole, like always I'm like in that boat where I'm like, financially I can't do that. Like just be a stay at home mom. Also I think I would still want to work some but I'm like, what does that look like transitioning out of maybe being full time into part time. And I think having a three year old and one year old is a perfect time to do it because once they get into school you can also go back to work if you wanted to and get a part time job

[Blake]

or something like that too.

[Addie]

Agree. Addy. This isn't me giving my notice.

[Abby]

Great advice, Addie.

[Addie]

My job's different. I get to keep my baby and work with my family. It's the best thing ever. She's trapped.

[Abby]

She's trapped.

[Addie]

Never leave. You're like, where you gonna go? I think that's it for this category. Okay. Do we want to go to marriage and dating? Friendship, Pop culture.

[Blake]

Let's go.

[Abby]

Let's go pop culture. And then end on marriage. Yeah.

[Addie]

And friendship. Friendship is one too.

[Blake]

Throw that after.

[Abby]

Let's throw that after pop culture. Okay.

[Addie]

Pop culture is a mix of like fun, light hearted questions and then pop culture wants to.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Caller]

Fun.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Blake]

I know nothing about pop culture.

[Addie]

Well, there really is not that much pop culture.

[Abby]

Okay, here we go.

[Addie]

I think there's like, I want to learn though. There's one pop culture.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Blake]

I want to get it from you guys.

[Addie]

Okay, let's do the pop culture one. It's really not that serious.

[Abby]

Okay, good. How many Discounts Does USAA auto insurance

[Blake]

offer too many to say here.

[Abby]

Multi vehicle discount, Safe driver discount. New vehicle discount.

[Blake]

Storage discount. How many discounts will you stack up? Tap the banner or visit usaa.com autodiscounts restrictions apply.

[Caller]

Hi, Abby and Addy. My name is Liz. I just want to say I love the podcast. I'm a first time mom, so just you are so relatable. My question is, what is your else? Top tier reality TV shows. I am a big reality TV fan and I just love getting other reality shows to watch or shows in general to watch. Thank you so much. Bye.

[Abby]

Oh, yeah, I mean, the serializing Mormon wives is basically the only reality TV show I watch. Oh, and love on the spectrum.

[Blake]

Love.

[Abby]

Yeah. You love that one. You love that one.

[Blake]

I do love that one. They need to make more.

[Abby]

They're coming out with a new season.

[Blake]

Oh, good. I know. Yeah.

[Abby]

Season four.

[Addie]

Okay, could I have my soapbox?

[Abby]

Let's go. Addy.

[Blake]

I was gonna say Beast Games, but I'm like, is that even reality?

[Abby]

It totally is.

[Blake]

Beast Games.

[Addie]

I had. There is a question way deep in the voicemail somewhere that I read across it. I didn't save it, but someone's like, brother in law was on Beast Games and they said what number he was and they wanted to know your opinions.

[Abby]

Wait a minute.

[Blake]

I did want to say I followed one of the. I went to the page of one of the Beast Games contestants, August, because my son's name was August. So I just immediately latched onto him and he made it very far and his character arc was cra. Wait, did you watch it?

[Addie]

Yeah, I did.

[Abby]

I watched it.

[Blake]

He follows. Okay, he follows us and his wife follows all three of us and always here. So shout out to August's wife. They make really cute content about it because he's the one who got the Starbucks for life.

[Abby]

Caleb. I kept talking about that. I was like, that his wife is gonna love that.

[Blake]

And they make videos of like doing. Getting Starbucks orders like that. People recommend them.

[Abby]

That's okay. I want to follow.

[Blake]

They're so sweet.

[Addie]

I found it. Hey, ladies, my name is. Or how about I just play it? This might not be her, but this is someone from Beast Games.

[Caller]

Hey, ladies, My name is Kylie and I'm from Lincoln, Nebraska. My brother in law is player 172 in Beast Games season two. And I want to hear all about your take on how it ended, who you were rooting for, and maybe any favorite moments from this season. God bless you guys. And I love, love, love this Podcast.

[Blake]

I loved August.

[Abby]

Oh, my gosh. He seemed really genuine.

[Blake]

August got hoes. He was.

[Abby]

He was a good competitor.

[Blake]

I know.

[Abby]

Yeah, he was.

[Blake]

And he knew. He was like. He's like, no. And then he didn't, like, he didn't even expose her.

[Abby]

No, he did. Wait, when?

[Blake]

At the end. When he knew that she had sold the coin.

[Abby]

Yeah. I didn't think he was gonna make it through. No one knows what we're talking about.

[Blake]

Yeah. I'm sorry, you guys. You have to watch Beast Games, but

[Abby]

I was a huge fan.

[Addie]

Follows us or his wife follows us?

[Blake]

I think so. Gosh, don't quote me, sister in law,

[Addie]

because this is his sister in law calling it.

[Blake]

I was starstruck. I was like, no way.

[Abby]

I was happy with the winner. Yeah. I thought either of the two finalists. I was like, I would love for them to win.

[Blake]

But when he got August out, I was like, the loyalty, really.

[Abby]

I know, I know.

[Blake]

And also, you got one shot at that. Like, if he would have missed, not have been crazy.

[Abby]

Everyone needs to go watch Beast Games and we can talk more about it.

[Blake]

Seriously.

[Addie]

My turn to hop on my tv reality show. Reality tv, Currently, obviously. Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. And then we also have Survivor. Does that count as reality tv? Yeah, I don't know, but Survivor's on right now, so watching Survivor. Love island, of course. All the Love Islands UK is great, too. USA is getting there.

[Abby]

Eddie watches them all.

[Addie]

Oh, I'm not even halfway through. And then. Oh, what am I? Okay, what I'm not watching, but I really am interested right now is Age of Attraction.

[Abby]

Wait, I watched the first episode of that. Loved it.

[Addie]

Okay, I might have to. I might have to hop in and watch that one. And then that's. Oh, Housewives. Salt Lake City. Perfect. Great. Always Salt Lake City if you're gonna start. And Summer House is great if you're looking for the one that you want to watch.

[Abby]

You and my older sister would love to talk about this.

[Addie]

And then, okay, shows in general.

[Blake]

Do you do something while you watch these shows or you just sat.

[Addie]

No, I do stuff I like. I clean around the house.

[Abby]

Yeah, it's good background noise.

[Addie]

It's good background noise. Currently, we're watching the Pit. Great show. If you're into medical shows.

[Abby]

Never heard of that.

[Addie]

Pit is great. And then what else are we watching right now? Oh, we're watching Barry, which is a murder show.

[Blake]

Oh, I'll watch that.

[Addie]

But it's like a sitcom murderer show.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Addie]

It's not, like, about a real murderer. It's just like a TV show.

[Blake]

Okay.

[Abby]

If I don't know what to watch, I'm just gonna come to you at Interview.

[Addie]

Oh, I've got plenty of recommendations.

[Blake]

They're a TV household.

[Abby]

They are a tv.

[Addie]

We are a TV household. We have one more episode of Baron

[Blake]

and they watch a lot of sports, too.

[Addie]

I don't know how we rotate. Once basketball finishes at night, then it's a show, and then it's bedtime.

[Abby]

Oh, that's a good routine. That's a good routine. Hey, can I just say that if I was abc, I'd be absolutely ticked at Hulu airing season four of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives before the Bachelorette because I think Hulu did ABC dirty a little bit.

[Addie]

Are they not the same?

[Abby]

Are they the same?

[Addie]

Disney owns Hulu and owns abc.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Abby]

It's so interesting. Just the whole time that that season four Secret Lies More Wives was airing, I was like, I feel like the Bachelorette has to be so annoyed with what they shared.

[Addie]

Yeah, I finished. I'm in the middle of season four. Okay, well, I have been rushed watching it, so could give my opinions. And

[Abby]

you just need to start watching so we can talk about it.

[Addie]

I'm like, is Ben going to be on? Was Ben going to come and show up on.

[Blake]

I'm more scared than Mandota.

[Abby]

I know.

[Blake]

It's just watching it, I'm more scared than ever.

[Abby]

I understand that. So much going on.

[Blake]

Heat going on.

[Abby]

I know.

[Addie]

I know. So much going on. Let me get off my soapbox and read books. Get to our next question.

[Abby]

It's good. We shouldn't gossip, so it's good to. Not as good. Books are good.

[Blake]

Okay, thank you.

[Caller]

Hi, my name is Jaelyn. I've been watching Abby, specifically since the beginning of the unplanned podcast in Hawaii. And I'm so happy that you guys have started another podcast. Now, my question is just a silly, fun question. Would you rather have a permanent clown nose or permanent clown shoes? I just thought I'd send out this question just to lighten things up for you guys. Thanks. Bye.

[Blake]

Easy. No.

[Abby]

Why?

[Blake]

Because I don't have to deal with walking around in those. Just can you imagine trying to do

[Abby]

a box jump with, like,

[Blake]

I roll my ankle wearing hocus? So, yeah, I don't want to have to be slowed down. I already got a clown nose, so it's not that bad.

[Abby]

I'll go clown nose. I'll go clown nose. I agree. Even though it'll be in every picture, every video, I think you would just learn to love it.

[Blake]

It could be your train.

[Abby]

The right song with the birth mark. What do you mean?

[Blake]

Remember that whole Internet drama?

[Addie]

The scar.

[Blake]

Oh, yeah, the scar.

[Addie]

Yeah, the fake scar that you had.

[Abby]

Oh, I don't remember it, but Because I know his trademark is iconic.

[Blake]

I mean, it can't be that bad.

[Abby]

No. One time, Caleb and I, he said, would you rather have no arms or no legs? And I said, oh, easy, no legs, because I have to go for runs. And then he was like, I think you need to think about that a little longer because think about how hard it would be. Wait, I'm sorry. I said this back backwards. I said, easy, no arms because I have to go for runs. And he was like, really?

[Blake]

Someone would have to always wipe your butt.

[Abby]

I know. He was like, I think it would be much harder to have no arms. And then I thought about it for a while and I was like, I made a mistake. I take it back. I'd rather have no legs.

[Caller]

Hi, my name is Alexis. What is something that you believe in strong enough that you would put it on your car? For example, I'm driving by a car and it has two boobies saying free the nipple. So obviously, like, pro breastfeeding, those kind of things. But what is something that you feel strong enough that you would put a sticker on your car for everyone else to know?

[Blake]

I think about that a lot. Remember, I came in here one day and I was like, what is the line with bumper stickers? Because this late, this man had a full naked woman bumper sticker on his car. And I was like, no, that's what they wanted to know about this.

[Abby]

This is a hot take and a hard judgment. But I do believe that if someone has multiple bumper stickers, they're probably not mentally stable.

[Blake]

I just don't think we'd be concerned.

[Abby]

That's a mean thing to say, but I just am kind of like, what would you put on your car?

[Blake]

I got one. If you honk at me, I will cry. I should have that on there. So I know when people are like, you know what? She's not moving. She might be distracted. Oh, I don't want her to cry. She'll figure out eventually.

[Abby]

I think you might get honked up more because of that. People be like, let's ruin her.

[Blake]

I don't want to think that about humankind. Literally.

[Abby]

I feel like I might see that and be like, oh, that's funny.

[Blake]

I think.

[Abby]

I think it's a joke.

[Blake]

I'm too sensitive for honking. I hate honking. I hate I don't do it to people. I don't want people to do it to me. And in living in the state of Arizona, that is very hard because everyone here is just hand on the horn,

[Abby]

like, oh, my gosh, they do.

[Blake]

I got flipped off. Is it flipped or flicked?

[Abby]

I think it's both.

[Addie]

Flipped.

[Abby]

Flipped. I say flipped. Sometimes I inter. I interchange them.

[Blake]

I say. I say both flicked and flipped.

[Abby]

Licked off.

[Blake]

They flipped me off out the window for a long time, and I was like, it's still going.

[Addie]

It's still going.

[Blake]

I. And I still can't.

[Abby]

And then you cried.

[Blake]

And then I cried. No, I don't actually cry, but I just. Just get so distraught. Distraught about it. I can't stop thinking about it.

[Addie]

Have you ever accidentally honked at someone? No. Oh, I did. On accident one time. I didn't. I don't know how it happened on accident. I felt so bad. I was like,

[Abby]

pro honking. I'm pro honking. I mean, if someone is at the light and they're not going, you don't think I'm gonna give him a little love tap? I'm gonna go honk.

[Blake]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Abby]

A little wave, like a nice one. And then you don't think if someone is trying to hit my car, I'm gonna lay on the horn. Caleb used to not honk people when they would do reckless things. And I'm like, no. I'm like, immediately. I guess I'm part of the problem.

[Blake]

Ew, Abby, I'm icked out.

[Abby]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Blake]

You said. You didn't say your bumper.

[Abby]

Well, I would not have ever have a bumper sticker. The thing I believe.

[Blake]

I can't avoid the question like that.

[Abby]

She said, what if there was anything ever that you strongly believe, I love my husband. Oh, I put that on there. Like, I'm like, okay. I wouldn't put a faith one, because then if I drive badly, I don't want it to reflect poorly on my.

[Blake]

Make sure your driving doesn't reflect.

[Abby]

It doesn't want to reflect. Jesus. And I don't want them to know that I have children. I don't want them to know that I'm a woman, honestly, just by my car. So I'm like, well, if you say

[Addie]

I love my husband, well, then that.

[Abby]

Telling them I'm a woman. There is a bumper sticker in my neighborhood. There's a bumper sticker that I greatly appreciate. Appreciate. Actually, my neighbor has. It says, I heart my cochlear implant. And I'm like, What a great bumper sticker. Because then people know that she's hard of hearing.

[Addie]

I've seen some like that where there's, like, there's a disabled child on board.

[Abby]

That is a great bumper sticker.

[Addie]

Accident. Those are also marker. Yes to know.

[Abby]

Those are good.

[Blake]

I'm distracted with my kids in the back seat, and I don't go right when the light turns red. People can just.

[Abby]

What if your sticker says, sorry, I'm distracted?

[Blake]

No, can't say that.

[Abby]

Sorry.

[Blake]

There's goldfish underneath the car seat, and it's really important.

[Caller]

Hi, Abby's and Addie. I wanted to know what you guys would be doing for your jobs last careers if you couldn't do content creation slash business owning podcast or being a teacher. Coming from a fellow. Always, homie. I love the podcast. Bye.

[Blake]

So many ideas. I would love to be someone's personal chef. I would like. I love everything about it. I love going to the grocery store, getting groceries. I like meal planning. I like. I want to just make their food and then. Then leave. I feel like that would be so fun. Prep it, put in the fridge for them. Someone else's kitchen, too. There's something about cooking. That sounds fun.

[Abby]

That does sound fun.

[Blake]

Because it's probably going to be a nice kitchen if they can afford. Looking for me. No, I'm just kidding.

[Abby]

Yeah. Hey, baby.

[Blake]

No, I think that would be really fun. Also, I feel like I might be a real estate agent one day.

[Abby]

Oh, one day you're gonna come back to that and become a real estate agent?

[Blake]

Yeah, maybe when I'm, like, 30.

[Abby]

I always thought, like, that'd be so fun. And then we bought our house, and I was like, that would be so bad at this job.

[Blake]

Why?

[Abby]

Because the back, all the communication behind the scenes.

[Blake]

Oh, maybe it's a lot of back

[Abby]

and forth and paperwork.

[Addie]

How I would say it's actually three.

[Abby]

I don't know. You said by the time you're 30, you want to be a real estate agent.

[Blake]

Maybe my 40s. Okay, fine.

[Addie]

Wow.

[Blake]

I have a lot of life to live, y'.

[Abby]

All.

[Blake]

I'm not gonna do this forever, okay?

[Abby]

It'll just be me here. Me and Addie will be, I don't know, somewhere else.

[Addie]

Over here.

[Abby]

Hey, homies. Abby's on another. We do another real estate agent call

[Addie]

Mormon Wives, where we pan to Abby, and she's not there like they do

[Abby]

with me in interviews. Abby refused to be interviewed.

[Blake]

She's showing a house. Yeah.

[Abby]

Abby actually has another job. I love it.

[Blake]

I also just love, like, I love house shopping.

[Abby]

Yes. It is so fun.

[Blake]

What would you do?

[Abby]

I used to think that it'd be really fun to be like an on carpet correspondent for E. News or like, like a carpet interviewer of some sorts.

[Blake]

I met someone like that in Rhode Island.

[Abby]

Really? I don't even know if I'd be good at it. I just think it'd be fun. You would be good or like on qvc. Because I used to do that for bull all the time. Like, I would do all my try on videos and, like, describe the product and sell the clothes and I think it'd be so fun to be a QVC host.

[Blake]

That's fun.

[Addie]

That's fun. I'd be burn boot camp trainer. I think I would train.

[Abby]

That's a good one, Addie.

[Addie]

I would do that. Yeah, I think that's it. I don't want to do anything else. I also say at this point, like, with this. This under my belt too, I'd probably be good working for, like, an agency or something. Like, I feel like I'd be. If I needed a backup plan, I could work for an agency.

[Abby]

You're the most organized person I've ever met. So and so good at communication. You could thrive at most jobs, I think.

[Addie]

So kind. So kind. I'm gonna. I'm gonna put that on my master's degree, not my personality.

[Caller]

Hi, Tamara. I was just wondering what your first jobs were or what you did to make money before being an influencer. Also, what made you, like, decide to be. To be an influencer? Have a good day.

[Abby]

Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. Just go through all your jobs, run them down.

[Addie]

Me?

[Abby]

Yeah. Because there's not that many.

[Blake]

Yeah, I don't have a lot of work experience. I am not hirable.

[Abby]

I was trying to. I don't have a resume, unfortunately.

[Blake]

I cannot get hired anywhere. Yeah, no, I do have my degree, but I was a babysitter and a nanny and a tutor and a substitute teacher, and I worked at a cocktail lounge and a pizza server and then a tick tocker while I was still in school. So we started social media while we were still in college. So that's why I never had, like, a subs. Being a substitute teacher is the most big girl job I ever had. And that's still just, like, temporary work. You know what I mean? Yep.

[Abby]

My first job was my senior year of high school. I never had jobs in high school because I always played volleyball. And so it was just hard to find jobs. And you do, like, a competitive sport. So my Senior year of high school, I got a job at the Ralph Lauren Polo Outlet. And then I worked at a boutique in St. Charles called Moss Boutique for a couple years, which I loved working there. After that, I worked, actually started Bolt, my business that I had for five years while that was running, like, starting up, I worked at Lululemon and I worked at topgolf.

[Blake]

There you go.

[Abby]

There we go.

[Blake]

A lot of retail in there.

[Abby]

So much retail. Because that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to do. I wanted to have my own store. So I was like, I want to get as much retail experience as I can get. So I worked all those jobs while I was preparing to start Bolt, and then when I had Bolt, and then why we wanted to become an influencer. I feel like, for me, it was just kind of a natural progression. After we closed the business, you and Matt had me on Unplanned a lot. I feel like you guys shared a lot about the business, a lot about me, and just naturally helped me kind of start a following. And then I also. I mean, I did it every day when I had my clothing store, and so I was very used to, like, filming and creating content and talking on stories, and so it's kind of just a natural progression to continue doing that, just from a business to my personal. So I honestly didn't plan for it to happen. I just. I didn't have a job.

[Caller]

Oh.

[Abby]

Oh. You hired me for a little bit after Bull, and I was Griffin's nanny for, like, two months.

[Addie]

There you go.

[Abby]

Yeah. So it was just in that progression. I was like, I think this just makes the most sense.

[Blake]

I always say. I got into this by proxy. I feel like with, like, Matt had the vision for social media and, like, had the passion, and I was just in it. And then it just kind of became, like, a really cool opportunity that I was like, well, I'm going to make the most of this and enjoy it for as long as we can. And I'm shocked it's been this long. Honestly, when you really think about it, time flies.

[Abby]

Time flies. You're like, oh, it's been four years.

[Blake]

Crazy. But it has been six years.

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby]

That's so insane.

[Addie]

That's crazy.

[Abby]

This episode is brought to you by Fandango. People say fans are too distracted these days, but the truth is, when a great movie hits the screen, you show up, you stay glued, invested, part of the story. And without fans like you, there'd be

[Addie]

no cinema magic, no shared moments.

[Abby]

So head to fandango.com to get tickets Stream or rent or buy top movies and series.

[Addie]

Bendango loves fans. Okay, we're gonna switch into the friendship category. Friends.

[Caller]

So many people have probably asked you this, but what was the first time you guys met? Where, when? And was it awkward or, like, even when the first time you heard about each other? Like, what were your first impressions?

[Addie]

I feel like I'd, like. Let's go on the area of first times you heard about each other. Like, do you remember the first time, like, you heard about. Well, you probably heard about Abby because she was dating Mad.

[Abby]

That time of life is such a blur. It was, like, 10 years ago, so long ago. I. I just. I feel like we maybe talked about this in the first episode, but I just remember thinking Abby was really quiet and. Yeah, you were very quiet. You just didn't talk much, and you just kind of stuck by Matt. So, like, you said it, and we were never, like, we'd be around each other occasionally at, like, a family dinner or, you know, it was always short and quick. But, yeah, for a couple years, there just wasn't a ton of interaction. Yeah, it was like we were both in the room, but we weren't really interacting with each other.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Why were we like that?

[Blake]

I don't have many memories of this. I just remember thinking that you were really cool and, like, really, really comfortable with the family, and I was not. And so I was, like, intimidated. I was like, she's so. She's a veteran here.

[Abby]

I mean, I take. Veteran.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Because I think we had been dating, like, two years at that point.

[Blake]

Point.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Yeah, yeah. Also, you guys were. You were in college already, so I feel like we would only see each other, like, at holidays when there's already

[Abby]

a lot of so many people around.

[Blake]

I don't remember Addie. I just remember hearing that. I don't even think it was Blake who told me that he was, like, interested in a girl. Like, a word got around church and

[Abby]

then like, oh, my brother's into somebody.

[Blake]

I was like, blake, you want to fill in your sister? And so I just remember. I feel like there was one time. Did we share a hammock at our fall retreat or something?

[Addie]

We had three hammocks. I know I was in one. I remember Matt being in one next to me, and you were probably in that one, too. But I remember one time, Matt just popped his head up, and I was like, matt's sitting in this hammock right now. But I had never talked to him before.

[Blake]

What was the first time that we talked? Was it then.

[Addie]

It probably Would have been fall retreat. But I don't even really remember talking to you that much. I think I was scared of you.

[Abby]

What was your first impression of Matt?

[Addie]

I thought he was a cool guy. Like, I thought he was cool and the popular guy, like he was tall. So then that like just adds another effect to it as well. Yeah, Yeah, I just thought he was probably cool. Abby, I'm trying to think. I loved how like you were friends with everyone. Like, you were just like so fun and happy and that was cool. I'm like, when was the first.

[Abby]

I think the first time we met was at Griffin's gender revealing.

[Addie]

When did.

[Abby]

And I just remember Addie, I remember I followed you, I think before on Instagram. And I remember you're really into fitness at the time. Like you're always going to the gym at most date. And I was like, she's so cool. She's so fit. And then you came in town and I remember just having a lot of fun talking to you.

[Addie]

I was like, I. I was wondering. I'm like, when did we first meet? Because it's weird to think that we didn't know each other or like. Abby.

[Abby]

I know. I just, I never. We never met in Missouri.

[Addie]

No, but I remember like buying stuff. I was like, I'm gonna buy stuff from bowl. I'm like, I still have stuff. I'm like, I just threw away something.

[Abby]

So I was like, oh, actually, I'm mad about it. No, I'm just kidding.

[Addie]

I still have a couple tank tops though. So. Yeah, I was like, I was intimidated by you just because I was like, she's so cool and older than me.

[Blake]

And Addy, you're intimidating so much.

[Addie]

Listen, I'm 25. I was probably 21 at the time. I was like, you're older than me. How do you probably think I'm such a little kid.

[Abby]

Good. Be afraid of me, ladies. No, I'm just kidding. Think I'm cool. It's fine.

[Blake]

No, I remember Addy. I had you over to my apartment without Blake and I made you Mac and cheese. Cause that's the only thing I knew that you liked to eat. Because the only thing I knew about you is that you were a picky eater.

[Addie]

Which is just so crazy. Cause I'm not that way anymore. But I guess I was a picky eater. But I do remember you inviting me over. Cause I had to stay in Springfield for dance. Cause we had nationals at the beginning of January. So we had rehearsals, literally like 40 hour weeks of dancing.

[Abby]

Dang.

[Addie]

And you had Me over because Blake went home, and I'm just here by myself. You and Matt had me over, and I just sat at your table. I was like, like, what do I wear? Like, I was like, I don't know what to do. I'm going to my boyfriend's sister's apartment. I don't know what to do.

[Abby]

Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. But a boyfriend's or husband's sister, there's no one more intimidating. I feel it. Like, meeting a sister is so scary.

[Addie]

4th and she probably had me over, like, December 20th or something like that. I'm like, we've been dating for two weeks. I was, this is so nice. I can't say no. But also,

[Blake]

I was like, blake, you want me to vetter?

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Addie]

You're like.

[Abby]

He's like, I got it.

[Blake]

I'm sure. He was like, no.

[Abby]

Like, actually don't know your number.

[Addie]

That was very nice of you to invite me over. That was really sweet.

[Abby]

That's so fun.

[Caller]

Hey, guys. My name is Haley, and I love watching your podcast. My question to you guys is, how do you handle friendships with your close friends that don't have kids in 2025? I struggled a lot with jealousy because I couldn't pick up and do things like they could anymore. It made me mourn and grieve being able to do that. And, of course, not to discredit the love that I have for my children, but I just wanted your advice on that. Love you guys. Thanks for listening.

[Abby]

I think it's okay to miss your old life while still loving and appreciating your new life. Yeah. So I don't think. Yeah, I don't think that makes a lot of sense that you would feel a little bit of jealousy sometimes. Just, like, the ease of not having as much responsibility. I'm like, that's always. That's always. Yeah. I'm like, oh, young and free. You know, it does.

[Blake]

It does make your friendships different.

[Abby]

It does. I didn't feel that way when Caleb and I got married. Like, I married, no big deal. With single friends or friends that weren't married, no big deal. When we started having kids, I feel like the gap started to increase of things that we had in common. You know, it's just so much harder.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Having things in common and the schedules,

[Blake]

too, because you're like, well, I gotta go home for, like, two, three hours in the middle every day. And we also have to be back at, like, seven, so. Yeah, you gotta fit in these windows. And that just makes things logistically Difficult.

[Abby]

Totally.

[Blake]

I would say have your friends over to your house.

[Abby]

Yeah, I like that's what we did too, but.

[Blake]

Yeah, but also just know things are gonna be different and I feel like expecting things to be the same or your friendships to be the same is just a little unrealistic. It doesn't mean that you're not good friends. It's just. It just is another factor that makes it more challenging. And it's a great opportunity to meet new friends too.

[Abby]

Totally.

[Blake]

Doesn't mean you get rid of your old friends, but it's a great opportunity to meet new mom friends. Agree.

[Caller]

Hi, guys. I love your podcast. It's wonderful. I listen all the time, every time it comes out. But I was just wondering, I'm trying to get a little closer to my sister in law and I know y' all are all sister in laws and I was just wondering if there was like some kind of activity or something that you would suggest that could help me out. Thanks. Bye.

[Blake]

Okay.

[Abby]

If you're gonna do like a double date situation.

[Blake]

Oh, perfect.

[Abby]

Yeah. I feel like that's always easy and fun. Like I feel like a family game night is always fun, but it's just you, your husband, your brother. Well, I guess. Is she married?

[Blake]

We don't know.

[Abby]

We don't know if she's married. Okay. Yeah.

[Blake]

If it's her sister in law, she's

[Abby]

married, but it could be her brother's life.

[Blake]

Oh, yeah.

[Abby]

So now I'm thinking what are some fun, just like girl activities to do if it's just gonna be a one on one thing.

[Blake]

Go to lunch, get your nails done, get coffee, go shopping, go on a walk. Going on a walk.

[Abby]

I love going on a walk.

[Blake]

You want to go on a walk? Especially if you can walk to somewhere and do something like. That's fun.

[Abby]

So fun.

[Blake]

I also think just having dinners together is just. It's the best easy way. You have to do it anyway. You got to make dinner anyway.

[Abby]

So invite them over.

[Blake]

Invite them over.

[Abby]

I think. Yeah. Just you're so good at this, just being an includer and just always inviting her to come into your life or vice versa. Well, maybe not, not pushing yourself under her life, but including her into your life. And then if it's like reciprocated, then she'll be like, oh, I'll invite her back. And just that repeated time will be really good on your relationship.

[Blake]

Yeah. Go to work out. There's anytime there's something that comes up.

[Addie]

Yeah. I also saw another voicemail in here when I was looking through Them of someone who doesn't really live close to their sister in law. And she, I think she even mentioned she doesn't even have their phone number yet or their brother's about to get married and she doesn't have her phone number yet. But she wants to have a good relationship with them. And I think that's another factor. If you don't live close is like making the most out of that time. But just know it's not going to be the same. Like it doesn't have to be like we weren't as close before I lived here. It was just the way it was

[Abby]

then I would think almost because there's like this sense of comfort, comfortability with its family where you're almost. It's almost like, well, no matter what, we're gonna have to spend time together and be together. Then I think if you go the extra mile then that is like, oh, they really care and like want to be our friend. So like sending them, sending them something nice in the mail. Like if they have they're getting married, like send them a nice gift and a nice note and like something really personalized. Or if they're having a baby, send their baby like a nice gift. I don't know, just doing something a little bit extra special to where it's like, oh, this isn't just like the family thing. I want to like actually have a relationship with you.

[Addie]

If they're in town, do a one on one thing with them instead of just be with the family the whole time.

[Abby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Blake]

You can even FaceTime. It could be a little bit weird, but if you're make it, make an excuse for it, you know, and, but also if they're wedding planning, just see if there's anything you can do to help. I know that's like a vague question, but I feel like even just offering it's like, okay, you want to be involved in like an intimate detail of this wedding, not just like a regular wedding guest that would then carry on hopefully into the marriage. Yeah.

[Abby]

And I would say make an effort to go to all the things like even though it's gonna be expensive, like flying for the bachelorette party, if you're invited, like try to be a part of everything that you can.

[Addie]

Oh, I'm switching to a different category.

[Abby]

Okay, what's the next one?

[Addie]

This is kind of just like outliers. So it's just a couple other.

[Abby]

This is a little more deeper one deeper random question.

[Caller]

Hi guys. I am in high school. I want to know how you like tune out the negative, the negativity and the drama of the everyday life and just ignore and go forward. How do you just only think about the joy? I just. I'm struggling, and I just love listening to y'. All. Thank you.

[Abby]

What was her name?

[Addie]

She didn't say.

[Abby]

Okay. Thank you so much for that. That, like, made my heart sink a little bit.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

You can just hear the sadness.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abby]

In your voice. If I can preach for a second, I'm gonna preach for a second. I. I want you to remember that, like, you are chosen. You are loved. You have been bought for a price. You're perfectly and wonderfully made. And when, for me, when I'm facing hard things or I'm feeling insecure, like, I just went through a season of feeling insecure. When you're facing negativity, mean voices from the outside, you just have to remember that your identity is not what people say about you. It's about what God says about you. And if you're not a believer, I think it's just important to, like, have a. Just come to, like, conclusion about who you are and have a firm sense of identity outside of what others think about you. And so, for me, that's my faith. But, like, I really want to speak that over you because truly, that. Having a sense of. There's so much safety and knowing that you're chosen by God, you know? And so, yeah, especially in this season of life where, like, I'm sure the drama is really hard, and girls can be girls and boys in high school and can be so mean, and it just feels like it is your entire world. Just have.

[Caller]

Have.

[Abby]

Try to have that perspective of, like, you're gonna move through high school and you're gonna come out and the world is going to go from really narrow to really, really wide, and you're gonna make it through that, and, like, the doors are going to open for you. And I think sometimes, too, like, when you're really in the thick of something hard, you have to have this, like, eternal perspective or, like, a perspective past your current circumstances. And I know that's really easy to say and hard to practice, but you just have to remind yourself that a lot.

[Blake]

Honestly, I have nothing else really to. That was great advice.

[Abby]

It makes me just.

[Blake]

It's like. It's hard when it's like, you can see it on this side. You're like, that was such a small speck of our life, but it felt like. It felt like everything. It was everything for that season. And I think having that, like, broader perspective is very helpful. But then also, like, as you're. I don't know where you're at in high school, this could be four years, which feels like such a long time, you know? And so my advice is to just try to find at least one genuine friend and to just have them as, like, a support. It's really important to have that peer support. I feel like, especially like, in school. And if you're having trouble finding that, the advice is just to go first and be weird and just, I don't know, maybe just say, like, we could sit together at lunch and then just. Just be the first to put yourself out there. I know that's a really scary thing to do, but I think having friendships really made high school also just, like, so much more enjoyable. Enjoyable. I found so much joy through my friendships. And, yeah, Abby said it great.

[Caller]

Hey, Abby's. You guys are awesome. I love the podcast so far. I want to ask a question, and that is, what sacrifices have you made to keep what matters to you truly at the center of your life?

[Abby]

Oh, that's a good question. That's a good question. What sacrifices have we made to keep what's important to us truly at the center of our life?

[Blake]

Next session.

[Abby]

That's kind of a hard question.

[Addie]

Yeah, I feel like I can give one, even just starting to work for you guys, because I always expected to work corporate, and whenever you guys offered me a job, I was like, okay, this gives me the chance to be with my family, with my daughter, with my family again. I just said that, and I think that's something I had to give up of, like, my. How I just expected my whole life to be, to work from home, work with my family instead of building up this big career outside of that. And it took me a little bit to process that. On my end. It seems kind of shallow to be, like, the career versus the family, even though I'm still working. But I was, like, really excited about that life of, like, working in an office, working in a building, working for a big company and shifting that because I knew taking this job opportunity, I'd be able to be with my family more.

[Abby]

That's a good one, Addie. I think when I closed my clothing business, making that decision to end bolt was, like, the hardest decision ever. But it was one of those things where I was fighting tooth and nail and just, like, driving our family into more debt. And so it was one of the things I had to do to, like, it was. It was so hard, like, giving up my dream, it felt like. But I had to. I Was pregnant and we were in a lot of debt from it. And so that was just a sacrifice I had to make. And it was the best decision I made for sure. But yeah, and choosing to close the business. I remember that day so vividly when I was like, oh, my gosh, I can't keep doing this. What am I doing? I'm, like, ruining. Like, there's such a wedge between Caleb and I because the stress of this debt is so scary, and, like, I just have to let it go. So that was hard, but that was the best decision ever. In the long run.

[Blake]

It's a hard one. I too, never envisioned my life looking like this, but in a lot of ways, I feel like life has through a series of decisions in which I was like, prioritizing first, like, my marriage and then my marriage, plus my kids, my whole family has, like, led us to this point. And as long as this feels like the best option for our entire family, like, I'm going to consider this the greatest gift of this career option that I never considered originally and never even actually knew existed when I was dreaming up my dream lifestyle. So, like, that's just something that's always gonna take precedence in my life. And, like, it'll always be like, the greatest thing this job has given me is, like, that flexibility and that time to work with Matt and have that. Get to just drop everything when I want, when my kids need me. So that's a series of a lot of little decisions where I was like, I just want this. I choose this. I choose this. And it's not like I just feel so grateful that that's where we've landed now. And yeah, I think family. I think all of us have that same drive. And so then we all find ourselves in the same place.

[Abby]

How ironic, ladies.

[Blake]

But, yeah, and I feel like that's something that's always adjusting and changing too. And it's hard. This is a good wake up call question to ask too, because I feel like sometimes you make a series of decisions, small decisions, and you wind up somewhere that you didn't ultimately want to end up being.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

And you're like, this actually, in the long run, isn't ultimately. Ultimately the direction I want to go. So it's good to always ask that question, to zoom out also and be like, wait a minute, I thought I was making this decision, but I've ended up over here and this is where I was supposed to be. But that's a good question to keep asking. I feel like that's always like a beginning of the year question. Like you can kind of zoom out and think long term more.

[Abby]

That's good.

[Addie]

That's great. Okay. Eczema is unpredictable, but you can flare

[Blake]

less with epglis, a once monthly treatment for moderate to severe eczema. After an initial four month or longer dosing phase. About 4 in 10 people taking MGLIS

[Addie]

achieved itch relief and clear or almost

[Blake]

clear skin at 16 weeks. And most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing.

[Addie]

Emplis Lebricizumab LBKZ a 250mg per 2ml injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription. Prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBGLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis.

[Blake]

Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe.

[Addie]

Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine

[Blake]

when treated with ebglis.

[Addie]

Before starting ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection.

[Blake]

Ask your doctor about ebglis and visit ebgliss.lilly.com or call 1-800-lilyrx or 1-800-545-5979.

[Addie]

Marriage and dating. Okay, last big bucket.

[Caller]

Hi. So I'm planning a wedding in July. I'm so excited. What is the one or two things that you chose to do at your wedding that you regret doing or that you recommend doing for other people? Thank you. Bye. Bye.

[Abby]

I have to think back. Two things that you regret doing and. Or something that you regret doing something you recommend doing at your wedding. I don't remember my wedding. No, I do. I do. I remember my wedding.

[Blake]

I genuinely. This is so cheesy. I don't have any regrets for my wedding.

[Abby]

I don't have any regrets for my wedding either. It's amazing.

[Blake]

I always say if at the end of the day you are married to the person you spend the rest of your life with, and I just don't think you could really fairly look back and be like, oh, well, the dinner was a little cold. Like you're just not gonna think about those things. And so I would say just the whole day just. I mean, My greatest goal and my. Like, I kept trying to push myself to be, like, be present. Because I heard so many people be like, it's such a blur. Like, I just don't remember anything. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I just want to remember everything. Because you get this once. Like, I just want to be present. So I just was like, that was my biggest part. I was like, just let me have presence of mind the whole day. And I feel like I had that and, like, had such a great freaking time. It was amazing. And actually, Caleb pulled us aside at our wedding. I'll remember this. He's like, look at everyone here. They all came to support you guys. And I was like, that was a really good reminder. So maybe build in in your schedule. Like a time to pause and just look at literally everyone that made a sacrifice to attend your union. Like, that's really special. And that is. It's a very humbling cool. Like, also, when you think about the gravity of that, like, these people witness you make your vows to your spouse for till death do you part. Like, that gravity. I think that we can't lose sight of that amok. All the flowers and the food and the party. Oh, that's my best advice. Have a big dance party. We had a really sweaty, fun dance party.

[Abby]

It was so fun.

[Blake]

It's crazy that Addy wasn't at our wedding.

[Addie]

I was not there. That's so crazy.

[Abby]

Yeah, that was.

[Blake]

Everyone was sweating through their shirts.

[Addie]

Blake wasn't.

[Blake]

Blake. I don't think he hit the dance floor once. Actually.

[Abby]

Caleb and I were on the dance floor actually living it up.

[Blake]

Oh, yeah. That was so fun. Your wedding was so fun.

[Abby]

Oh, I'll talk about your wedding. But also at my wedding.

[Blake]

Oh, yeah. Also at my wedding, for my father daughter dance, I also had both my grandpas, who I've since lost. And so I look back at that video and that moment as, like, so special. And I don't know, I just, like, was so close to my grandpas, and I love them so much. So, like, now I'm like, the fact that they were both there and I just didn't know how little I had left with them that we have that moment. And especially knowing my dad and my grandpa, that was a big sacrifice for them to dance publicly in front of all the wedding guests with me. And I just look back at it like they did. They made themselves so uncomfortable to have that special moment with me, and they forgot everyone else just for me for that moment. And it was really sweet. It was just the way you look Tonight by Frank Sinatra. It was so sweet. So, yeah, I think just make the most of those personal moments with the people there, because it's so easy to think, like, I'm the bride, like, don't be that bride. It's just not. It's just not about you. Like, I know that everything in the wedding industry is saying, it's, like, all about you that day.

[Addie]

Right.

[Blake]

It's just not the case.

[Abby]

No.

[Blake]

Like, there's a lot of people that make sacrifices for you and your spouse, and ultimately it is about your marriage and the vows that you're making together. And the rest is extra. So you don't have to look at that as like, oh, that was such. I can't believe they were late with the.

[Abby]

Right.

[Addie]

With the.

[Blake]

I don't know, the DJ was late. It's like, no, not a big deal.

[Abby]

Totally.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abby]

That's great advice.

[Blake]

Abby.

[Abby]

Did you know that I got cold feet on her wedding day?

[Blake]

On the day of Abigail?

[Addie]

No way.

[Abby]

I got.

[Blake]

I got. At the rehearsal, I got cold feet.

[Abby]

And I think, you know what? Here's my advice and here's what I regret. I didn't process a single emotion beforehand. And so on that morning of the whole day, the build up is so crazy because Caleb also were not seeing each other until we walked down the aisle. And I just remember, like, we were getting ready and everyone's having fun, and I'm sitting there like, huh. And then we get on the bus, everyone's, like, dancing and singing the music, and it just starts hitting me. And I had this moment where I go, my gosh. I'm driving to my freaking wedding. And I just started to, like, have an internal panic attack.

[Blake]

That has to happen. Honestly, I think it happens a lot. Yeah.

[Abby]

But then I just kind of got quiet and I tried holding it in. And then the minute we got to the venue, everyone was like, abby, what's wrong? I just go, I can't believe I'm getting married today. And I just started busting out crying. Great. And after that, I felt amazing. It was like I just needed to release the emotions.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abby]

But on the bus, I did text Caleb and I said, I can't.

[Blake]

Oh, my gosh, Abby. He's probably pooping his pants.

[Abby]

He thought I was kidding. I was actually panicking.

[Blake]

Oh, my gosh. It was like a legit.

[Abby]

I legit texted him and said, I'm freaking out. I can't do this. And he just said, isn't that crazy, Abby?

[Blake]

That is crazy. You're not Even like that.

[Abby]

I know. I just started to panic. I was like, I can't believe I'm getting married today. So I would say pre. Think about every emotion, like, and visualize the day, because I just didn't. I didn't have any. I was, like, the first of my friends to get married. I just had no context of the day, so. That's so funny.

[Blake]

I forgot my wedding dress at my wedding. Yeah?

[Addie]

Where?

[Blake]

At home? Oh, my gosh.

[Abby]

Oh, no, no.

[Blake]

I was at the dress shop. I never picked it up.

[Abby]

Oh, my gosh.

[Blake]

Yeah, no big deal. I was in a small town.

[Addie]

It was. No. You also didn't have the wedding certificate, right? Bleak drove home.

[Blake]

Oh, we didn't have the wedding certificate either.

[Abby]

I'm not surprised by the details of the story.

[Blake]

How does that even know that she wasn't here?

[Abby]

And he's like, you got your marriage certificate? You're like, what is that?

[Blake]

I didn't sign it the day they had to pry me off the dance floor.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

I was like, abby, stay focused.

[Abby]

I love it. But, yeah, my biggest advice, too, is to wait to see each other before you walk down the aisle.

[Blake]

Oh, yeah, I think that's a given.

[Abby]

It was the most amazing, incredible experience ever. Getting to see each other for the. Like, they opened the doors, and I made eyes with Caleb, and I just was like.

[Blake]

I cried the whole ceremony. There wasn't a moment in which I saw crying.

[Abby]

It was so incredible. Is the first. It's like, what? He had pictures, like, when in heaven. Like, the doors open, you know, and it's like, seeing your bride, it's like, oh, it's just so cool. Chills.

[Blake]

Go back and do it again.

[Abby]

I know. Joint wedding. I'm just kidding.

[Addie]

Wedding renewal.

[Blake]

Should we have the same anniversary? Essentially, we should.

[Addie]

Let's just do a destination wedding vow renewal for you.

[Blake]

Go to Mexico.

[Abby]

That'll be fun.

[Addie]

Let's do it.

[Abby]

Always, homies. They're all invited.

[Addie]

I actually have two regrets from my wedding. That's what I want to share. That's what I want to share. I wasn't gonna say anything, but I actually do have some regrets.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Blake]

No problem.

[Addie]

Make me cry. But the first one is, I didn't do a wedding video because of the cost. And I think the cost would have been worth it. I. I think now. I was like, when am I ever gonna watch that? And now I'm like, I wish I could watch it. So, first regret, second regret. I will cry. I was really stressed just, like, because I'm a planner and so I'm not in charge. My wedding planner's in charge, but I'm stressed about it, you know? And so, like, right before I'm going down the aisle, like, my mom wanted to have a minute with me, and I was so stressed about, like, everything going right that I just, like, I didn't take that time with her. I was really stressed, and I was like, let's go, mom. Let's go, mom. Let's go, Mom. And she's like, we're trying. She's trying to have a special moment with me. And I was just, like, not focus. And I apologize to her about it afterwards, but I wish I would have just, like, taken that moment to, like, have a special moment with my mom, because I was also wearing her wedding shoes going down the aisle, so she wanted to have a moment with me, and I just wasn't present for it at all. And so I think just be chill. That's my recommendation.

[Blake]

That was vulnerable of you to share. Thanks for sharing, and that's good advice for, for people really, like, especially if

[Addie]

you're a type a person like me.

[Blake]

Just, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be fine.

[Abby]

It'll be fine.

[Addie]

If you're late going down the aisle, no one cares. They're waiting for you.

[Abby]

I, I. You have to hire the people in the place. You have to put the people in place. And if you can't afford to hire someone, have your friends do it.

[Addie]

I had my friend do it. And I, and I. She didn't make me pay, but I paid her, and now she's a wedding planner. And she was great, and it was wonderful, but.

[Caller]

Hi, Abbies. My name is Camden. I live in Oklahoma. Me and my fiance are getting ready to get married in the beginning of May, and we've been together since we were 17. High school sweethearts, also grew up in the same hometown. We'll both be 21 when we get married. Just wanted some advice for wedding night and how to prepare because we also have both waited to be intimate with each other until after we're married. Thanks. Love you guys. Listen. Love listening to you guys so much.

[Abby]

My favorite topic we've been waiting for.

[Addie]

There's another one just like this too. So let me. That's kind of in the similar realm, and then we can talk about both of them.

[Caller]

Hey, girls. My name is Aubrey. I just wanted to say that I love the podcast and everything that y' all do. I'm calling today just for advice on boundaries and waiting till marriage. I get married in less than six months and I'm so excited. But also, the struggle is real. I'm getting married to my high school sweetheart, so that's super exciting. So any advice you'll have on that that y' all did with yalls husbands. And also if you'll have any advice about getting married so young, because we're. Because we're getting married at 21. So any advice and tips you have for that would be so grate. And I just hope you'll have a blessed day. Bye.

[Abby]

Oh, girlies. Congratulations.

[Blake]

That's so fun.

[Abby]

The drought is coming to an end. Oh, my gosh. I have so many things to say.

[Blake]

You kick it off.

[Abby]

Okay, well, let's talk about the first question first.

[Blake]

Yes.

[Abby]

Okay. The wedding night.

[Blake]

Yes.

[Abby]

Your rules, gonna be 21. I would say only have one drink of alcohol because you want to be fully present.

[Blake]

I had Sprite. I was actually under.

[Abby]

I was gonna say don't drink. Yeah.

[Blake]

You don't drink.

[Abby]

So fully present at your wedding. Wedding. And for the night, because you've been waiting so long for this special moment to, like, be intimate and connect with your husband for the first time. So I would say just don't mess around with alcohol.

[Blake]

Matt and I didn't drink at all at our wedding.

[Abby]

Yeah, I think I had, like, a glass of champagne and maybe one glass of wine. It was, like, beautiful, you know? No, I just definitely had.

[Blake]

That's actually really good advice.

[Abby]

I think I just had one glass of champagne because I think, too, it's like, you're in the moment, and, like, they're gonna give you a lot of drinks just as the bride and groom. Like, they're gonna offer you a lot. And I just. Just was like, I only want one. And then you can be fully present.

[Blake]

That's so. That's such good advice. I wouldn't have even thought of that. But, like, you waited. Especially if you waited. Like, you waited so long. Like, let's set ourselves up to remember it. Like, let's not and enjoy it and have presence of mind.

[Abby]

And then. Okay. Caleb, during the day with his groomsmen, they. He slipped, snuck away and, like, decorated the room and did little special things in the room. So. So I don't know, maybe if that's like, a tip to your husband, too. Like, have him sneak with his guys to go, like, decorate the room, because that was really fun.

[Blake]

That's sweet.

[Abby]

Yeah. Rose petals on the bed. To the bed. I was like, oh, baby. Also shower before things get going because you're gonna be sweaty from your dance floor and be Stinky. Take a little separate, you know, take a little shower and then go take it to the bed.

[Addie]

Just take the shower.

[Abby]

You gotta shower. You can keep your makeup on and your hair nice. Just watch your bits and bobs.

[Addie]

But I'm. What I'm saying is don't do it in the shower. Go do it in the bed.

[Abby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, exactly. Or you could do it in both.

[Blake]

That's expert level. You are not.

[Addie]

Skip the shower. Take the shower, go to the bed.

[Abby]

I love it. Exactly. What do you advise for the wedding night?

[Blake]

Okay, I have to say this. I feel like there is so much messaging that is so negative towards waiting till the night. They're like, it's gonna be so awkward. It's gonna be so, like, embarrassing, and it's gonna be terrible. It's not gonna work. It's like, that's actually just.

[Abby]

It's just a lie from saying.

[Blake]

I just think that's not true, you guys. And at least in our experience, like, that was just the furthest thing from the truth. And if anything, it was like. It was very, very. Just, like, wholesome and sweet and beautiful. And there was like. I think at this point, there's certainly, like, excitement about something new. But it's not like you're gonna be necessarily nervous. Cause you are with your person. Like, there's just a. There's so much comfort towards that and, like, a random one off. Like, there's just so much. So much history, so much relationship. You know, they're not, like, looking for anything other than to, like, connect with you. So I just think, like. And also, I'm the last person to really give great advice on boundaries. So I'm just gonna say that right now. But we did wait until the day of the wedding, and it was beautifully intimate, special, wholesome. Never once awkward. Like, we certainly laughed and, like, we're experiencing new things together. But you don't have to, like, have this, I don't know, expectation of. And I'm not saying that it's gonna be the most romantic, crazy night of your life, but in a way, it will. In a way that doesn't look like the movies, because it's just so. It's so intimate and special. And it's just. I don't know. I just feel like there's, like, so many people who are like. Like, I know their wedding night's gonna be terrible. Like, so many things about waiting towards you.

[Abby]

You don't have to know what to do the first night.

[Blake]

You figure it out. Okay.

[Abby]

Exactly. And it's not even about, like, the big fireworks moments of, like, sex. Not about the orgasm. It's about, like, being intimate together for the first time. And it's just. So. I was actually super nervous. And Caleb and I had had sex before and then stopped having sex for, like, two years when we became believers and then pursued. And so I had been there, done that with him before, and I was still, like, had giddy butterflies. Like, I was so nervous to be intimate with him again. And so it was so sweet. And I just look back on that night with just such like, a smile on my face.

[Blake]

Totally.

[Abby]

Yeah. It was just.

[Blake]

Totally.

[Abby]

It's amazing. I was, like, nervous to leave the

[Blake]

wedding, say,

[Abby]

oh, it's time to go. I was, like, nervous, but, like, it was amazing.

[Blake]

That is so funny. Yeah. I just. Yeah. Don't believe what people are saying. And I'm not saying it's gonna. Everything. You're gonna have to communicate. You're gonna have to say things that you don't even expect you're gonna have. Have to say. But it's. Everyone's just figuring things out. And I think that's what's also so special about it. And I don't know.

[Abby]

Totally.

[Blake]

Just be present and communicate. And I do think that there is a. It would be good to have a conversation about both of your expectations before the wedding day. That's good in this area, which they had us do in premarital counseling.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Because I do think if you guys go in with different expectations, that's a hard place to find out, that you not meeting someone's expectation, your own expectation isn't being met. So I would say have a conversation that's pretty detailed about, like, and honest, like, what's actually gonna happen. But, like, what. I mean, in a way. Yes, I think you should. I think. Because I do think. I hear that a lot, where people are like, oh. I kind of was, like, thinking you can build it up a lot in your mind. That's the thing about waiting, is that you can build it up in certain ways. And so. So just hash that out a little bit beforehand, I think.

[Abby]

Yeah. It doesn't have to be perfect. Okay. But then the second question.

[Addie]

Boundaries.

[Blake]

Oh, boundaries.

[Abby]

And how to, like, tips for waiting until marriage. Okay. Like I said, Caleb and I went all the way, and then we wheeled it all the way back.

[Blake]

Yeah. You would be the one.

[Abby]

Oh, boy. Do we have boundaries.

[Blake]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abby]

We didn't lay horizontally together. We didn't make out with tongue. We didn't. We Sometimes it was just hand holding, holding because we were too, like, excited. And it was like, we can't actually kiss.

[Blake]

Especially during the engagement.

[Abby]

Oh, my gosh. Freaking. It was so hard.

[Blake]

You're long engaged.

[Abby]

It was so hard. So I just like the strict boundaries that you need. Like, maybe you don't kiss for a couple. You didn't. We went seasons within our engagement where we could not kiss each other because it was just like, you know what I mean? It's like animals ate his face. Yeah. Literally, I'm like, what is wrong with me? So you just to have to be really strict with yourself. But I will say people listen to this and they're like, these people are crazy.

[Blake]

Oh, no.

[Abby]

It was so worth it and beautiful and having sex and then not having sex. There was a massive shift in our relationship. Like, I felt the difference between like actually choosing to wait and I think some of the big things that stick out to me. One, obviously our culture talks a lot about like cheating and infidelity and all these things. It has given me such a confidence in Caleb where it's like, this was literally the most like, sexually charged time of our life was our engagement. And we chose to be pure, like, fight for purity in it and chose to not have sex with each other. That tells me that if Caleb is at a water cooler with a co worker or meet some other lady down the line, I know that he has self control and I can trust him to like, not let his feelings or emotions lead him to something else.

[Addie]

Else.

[Abby]

And so one, it gave me like a deep sense of trust in Caleb as a man and him with me as well. Like, we have this sense of self control in this area of sex. Second, I would say just this idea of like, we couldn't just real, like go back to sex to communicate with each other or like show each other love. We had to learn how to show each other love in other ways, which really deepened our relationship. It deepened our communication. It deepened and just, I mean, so many areas of a relationship got so much stronger when we removed the element of sex. And yeah, I'm sure there are like a million other things, but I just felt like such a night and day difference in our dating relationship.

[Blake]

That's so good, Abby.

[Abby]

Yeah, it was like, it's one of the biggest things. I'm like, okay, I know my God made it this way.

[Blake]

You know what I mean?

[Abby]

It was just so clear, like this, this was better for us. So just know that, like, the fight for purity is worth it. It and also it's like, when Caleb tells me that I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, like, I know that he only has eyes for me and he, like, means it, you know, so there are just so many benefits to it. And if you haven't chosen to do that, you're not, like, doomed or anything. By any means. Yeah. So don't hear these things and think,

[Blake]

like, well, you're a great testimony about it.

[Abby]

Thank you.

[Blake]

Like, that's.

[Abby]

Yeah, it was our testimony.

[Blake]

Yeah. That's huge.

[Abby]

Born again virgin. Just kidding.

[Addie]

I think it's important to remember too, in, like, the culture of waiting till marriage is also that everyone's boundaries look a little different. Like, Blake and I are both not physical touch people. So we can actually sit in bed together and we can hold hands and we can actually kiss and we are not gonna have sex. That was just not.

[Abby]

We were not like that.

[Addie]

But everyone's boundaries are a little different, and that's okay. And not to judge people based on their boundaries if they're not going doing the same boundaries that you're doing. Because the sin and the. And the part that you're trying to wait for marriage is the actual sex part. You wanna create boundaries to help you not get to that point. But everyone's might look a little different. So have grace for other people that.

[Blake]

I remember what I was gonna say. If you're more on the side of like, okay, this is really, really hard to resist. Being with friends is always a great way to resist.

[Abby]

Don't be alone. Don't be alone.

[Blake]

I remember we would hang out with one of my roommates. They were probably just there all the time. They're just like, oh, it's just me

[Addie]

and Matt Nabi again.

[Abby]

We had so many triple days.

[Blake]

So many. I'm not like, chaperone, but what kind of. They're onto something. You're not gonna cross any. That would be extremely deviant.

[Abby]

You don't need to call it that. But come on.

[Blake]

It's essentially that. Except it's not like my brother.

[Abby]

Right.

[Blake]

My little brother.

[Abby]

Right, Exactly. But it was just like, people that

[Blake]

made sense at the time or like our friends or go on a double date. Like, I mean, there's just like so many other ways. But.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Abby]

And you're not like, hang out with us. We don't have sex. It's like, hang out with us because we want to hang out.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

You know what I mean?

[Blake]

Well, yes, but that's. That's a proxy.

[Abby]

It's. The end goal was the same.

[Blake]

Also having adult Mentors that were already married. This is also just, like, not necessarily isolated to the area of sex, but, like, adult married mentors were very forthcoming about, like, what, like, they knew our goals and they also were very forthcoming about talking about them. Whereas, like, among our single friends, it was very taboo to, like, talk about, oh, they want to have sex. But, like, adult mentors were very, like a. Like, very. They would bring it up on their own all the time. And so it was very like, we knew that we had someone to keep us accountable in that area and they weren't gonna, like, ignore it necessarily. And so it's not like we were ultimately still making our own decisions as an as adults. But just knowing that you had that extra accountability too was helpful because whenever we saw them, I'd be like, they're gonna ask. They're gonna ask.

[Abby]

And it's gonna be.

[Blake]

I'm not gonna lie. And so that was good too. But that is hard to find. But if you can seek it out, that is really so true.

[Abby]

We did have a slip, like before a wedding or we did. And that was really sad because I was like, we waited all this time and then we slipped. But I just remember calling a girlfriend and telling her and, like, talking through it and it was like she just prayed over me and was just like, it's okay. Like, you're still gonna. You know, it's just like, there's so much grace.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

And so don't think that I was like, perfect at this. We weren't perfect, but it was still worth it.

[Blake]

Yeah. Wow.

[Abby]

That was fun.

[Blake]

Hopefully you guys liked that episode. That was fun for us.

[Abby]

Us.

[Blake]

It's just so good hearing from y'. All. Okay, exciting update. Now we finally have actual details for you, but we are hosting a live event locally here in Arizona, the Phoenix area.

[Abby]

The details where it's always here in Burn boot Camp. We've actually done an Abby's camp before and it was so fun. So we're doing another one and always here Burn Boot Camp workout class. And the day is April 11th at 10am there's no child care for this class. Just a heads up and it's going to be a 45 minute workout.

[Blake]

The sign ups are live today right now.

[Abby]

They're live right now. So if you're interested and you want to go sign up, there is a 15 fee for the class, which is cheaper than their drop in class.

[Blake]

Yeah.

[Abby]

So they did us a favor, which was really sweet.

[Blake]

Yeah. They have trainers to pay.

[Abby]

Yeah, Trainers to pay.

[Blake]

And also the last time we did this. Abby's boot Camp. To be transparent, there was a lot of signups because it was free.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

And then we could have a lot of no shows.

[Abby]

A lot of no shows. And people signed up out of state and just took spots. So this is like you're only. We needed a little bit of a

[Blake]

buy in sign up if you're going.

[Abby]

Yeah. If you want to go. We would love to work out with you. We're gonna have like a little bit afterwards where we can hang out and talk and meet and greet and pictures and like some snacks and stuff. So it'll be really, really fun.

[Blake]

It'll be really fun.

[Abby]

Yeah. We can't wait. And we have a review to read.

[Blake]

This review is from Haley. Thanks again to everyone who leaves us a review. A rating. Let's liking subscribing all the things sharing this says moving to Az Abby's and Addie. I'm 20. I'm a 29 year old mom of two toddler boys. We live in. Is that West Virginia?

[Abby]

WV.

[Blake]

So I can't. I can't tell you guys how much I love listening to this podcast and correlate so much every time I listen in, usually while driving, I feel like I have a mom group session. And truly, you guys make me want to move to Arizona and be besties. I hate that I'm caught up up because it means I have to wait until next week for the next one. Thank you so much for your mom advice, Transparency, hilarious moments, but also the thought provoking ones too.

[Abby]

Oh, thank you.

[Blake]

So meaningful.

[Abby]

I. I'm so crazy. Like, that's such a sweet feeling because I feel that way about podcasts. I'm like, dang, I have to wait till next week.

[Blake]

Right.

[Abby]

And so the way that people feel about us is so amazing.

[Blake]

Honor. Like, there's just like, there's no other way to describe it.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Blake]

Like a really high honor.

[Abby]

Yes. Thank you guys so much. If you guys want to call in and like leave a voicemail, we'll say the number again. It's 602-456-9690. We always close out our episodes with voicemails from you guys. It's the best. So thank you guys for that.

[Addie]

And.

[Abby]

Oh, should we do an always hungry recipe?

[Addie]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Okay. I'm gonna share the Rice Krispie treats I made this past week. They were really good. They're Easter themed or spring themed. It has Cadbury eggs, white chocolate chips, and obviously marshmallows. They were delicious. So I'll have the link below. Really really easy to make, and very. They went very fast.

[Blake]

They're so good. My recipe is just a really quick. It's literally five ingredients. I've made it since Matt and I were in college, but it's quick, healthy, and affordable. And I. You can even make this for a lunch. And I don't normally cook for lunchtime because I just don't simply want to spend the time on cooking lunch. But it has quinoa, ground turkey, taco seasoning, crushed tomatoes, and corn, and I top it with cheese and sometimes, like, sour cream or salsa. And then you can scoop the Fritos in it. It's just. It's so filling, and the whole family likes it. My kids will even eat it, which is saying a lot. And it's just really easy. One pot and. Yeah, I kind of want that for dinner.

[Abby]

Now you use ground turkey. You don't like ground turkey?

[Blake]

I know. I like it in this. Eh.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Blake]

Do you know where I got this recipe from? Yeah, I think it was on the back of my taco seasoning in college. I was like, I'll make that good. Don't use red quinoa, though. Only use white quinoa.

[Abby]

That's hilarious. I feel like college. Learning how to cook in college is such a trip.

[Blake]

I use red quinoa, and it leaves like a film on the roof of your mouth. Except I think I did it wrong because I don't think that everyone would. Anyone would ever eat it.

[Abby]

I don't know if I've even seen red quinoa at the store. I don't know. I don't even know what that is. Addie or Abby.

[Blake]

Sorry. I think I got it from Aldi.

[Abby]

Oh.

[Blake]

Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who listens and who shares the love. And also, also shout out to our, like, in person friends that listen to this every single week. I'm like, you hear enough of us. Why would you ever choose to just listen to us talk again? Be like, I love it. I debrief with my sister every week, so.

[Abby]

Oh, my gosh. Sweet. I love you guys.

[Blake]

Our online friends, our real life friends, we just. We're so grateful. Feels like the appropriate time to say that since we listened to all you guys talk today. So, yeah, thank you, guys.

[Abby]

And remember, we're always here sa.