American History Hotline — "Cuck This, You Son of a ..." Host: Bob Crawford | Guest: Chris DeRose | Release Date: November 12, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode of American History Hotline explores the so-called "unwritten law" in 19th- and early 20th-century America—a cultural and legal phenomenon whereby men were often acquitted or pardoned for murdering someone who had allegedly dishonored their household, particularly in cases of adultery. Host Bob Crawford is joined by Chris DeRose, historian and author of "Star Spangled Scandal: Sex, Murder, and the Trial that Changed America." Together, they break down the infamous case of Congressman Daniel Sickles and how media, culture, and the legal system shaped and protected these acts of "honor revenge."
Main Discussion Points & Insights
The Listener Question
Timestamp: [04:35]
- Listener Jason from Chicago asks: “I heard it used to be legal to kill a man for sleeping with your wife, and it wasn't that long ago either. Is that true?”
- Chris DeRose: “That is substantially true. So starting about the mid 19th century and going until the 1950s, it was, to varying degrees, almost impossible to hold someone legally accountable for the murder of someone who had dishonored their household in the words of Time.” ([04:48])
The Sickles Case: Setting the Precedent
Timestamps: [05:10] – [09:13]
- Background on Daniel Sickles:
- Congressman from New York, influential in Washington society.
- Received a letter (by pseudonymous “RPG”) detailing his wife’s affair with Philip Barton Key, U.S. Attorney, son of Francis Scott Key.
- Sickles verifies the affair, confronts his wife (who confesses), and contemplates his next move.
- The Murder in Lafayette Square:
- Sickles observed Key signaling for his wife with a handkerchief, a prearranged sign.
- Overcome with rage, Sickles arms himself and kills Key in broad daylight outside the White House.
"While Sickles is trying to figure out what to do, and bursting with anger and rage and frustration, he sees this guy out there in Lafayette Square on a Sunday, unseasonably warm Sunday in 1859. He heads out there in a trench coat with at least three firearms, and he sends Mr. Key to his fate." — Chris DeRose ([09:01])
The Immediate Aftermath and Presidential Obstruction
Timestamp: [09:13] – [11:05]
- Numerous high-profile witnesses, including treasury clerks and even Cyrus McCormick.
- President James Buchanan, Sickles’ mentor, allegedly helps an eyewitness flee to avoid testifying.
"...the President actually, this is one instance we know for sure in American history where a president committed the crime of obstruction of justice." — Chris DeRose ([09:35])
The Trial: The First Legal "Dream Team" and the Emergence of the Unwritten Law
Timestamps: [11:10] – [15:54]
- Sickles surrenders in dramatic fashion at the Attorney General's home and is held in a notorious D.C. jail.
- Assembles an all-star defense team—Edwin Stanton among them.
- The defense uses several tactics:
- Self-defense (“maybe Key had a gun”),
- Provocation (the affair itself is justification), and
- The novel plea of temporary insanity.
- Traditionally, such crimes might be downgraded to manslaughter; Sickles’ case leads to a full acquittal.
“The argument they made was that he was suffering under temporary insanity... Sickles really lit the match with this incredible story... this is the OJ case of the 19th century.” — Chris DeRose ([13:58], [16:30])
The Role of Mass Media and the Spread of the "Unwritten Law"
Timestamps: [15:54] – [19:22]
- Rise of cheap, sensational newspapers (the “penny press”) and the telegraph meant the Sickles case received unprecedented, near-instant national coverage.
- The case becomes a template: jurors and the public increasingly believed in "justifiable honor killings" in cases of infidelity.
“So Sickles really lit the match with this incredible story, right?...This was the most covered event in human history to this point. And it's a story that Americans are experiencing almost as one for the first time in American history.” — Chris DeRose ([16:55])
Institutionalization and Peak of the Unwritten Law
Timestamps: [19:22] – [21:49]
- Across the country, thousands of cases are quietly dismissed or pardoned.
- If convicted, defendants often received leniency or clemency—sometimes even from victims’ own kin.
- Example from Kentucky: Governor promises to pardon the killer of his own son, who was caught with someone else’s wife.
- Example from South Carolina: Even in post-Reconstruction South Carolina, a black man who kills a white man for adultery with his wife is pardoned.
“The unwritten law was stronger and more widely supported than racism and unequal treatment of the law in post reconstruction South Carolina shortly after the Civil War.” — Chris DeRose ([21:28])
The Unwritten Law is Never Official – and Why It Changed
Timestamps: [27:45] – [30:29]
- The law was never codified, though the American Bar Association debated codification due to its effect on the actual law.
- DeRose reflects on how this reveals the fragility of cultural norms and legal institutions.
- The decline of the unwritten law is linked to changing views on women’s rights:
- In the 19th century, women’s honor was seen as a man’s property.
- Over time, with expanded roles for women especially post-WWII, societal views shifted; honor killing lost its justification.
“As we enter the 1950s, we're really starting to say, you know, what a woman's honor was or a daughter's honor, it's really not a man's to vindicate anymore... changing perception of women and their role in society leads to both the beginning and end of the unwritten law.” — Chris DeRose ([30:29])
Reflections on History, Human Nature, and Context
Timestamps: [29:15] – [32:41]
- Civilization’s rules are a “thin veneer”; cultural violence emerges in moments of threat or trauma.
- Bob Crawford and Chris DeRose agree that every era is “crazy” in its own way; modern anxieties are nothing new.
“I said civilization’s a thin veneer.” — Chris DeRose ([30:06])
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
On the legal system’s complicity:
“Many cases were just never charged. If the cases were charged, often you would find the grand jury would refuse to indict. If the grand jury indicted, the judge may well dismiss the case.” — Chris DeRose ([19:44]) -
On the role of public opinion:
“Public expectation and public support for the unwritten law” even outweighed familial ties, as in the Kentucky governor pardoning his son’s killer. — Chris DeRose ([20:39]) -
On progress and change:
“Women can make their own decisions and be responsible for those decisions... changing perception of women and their role in society leads to both the beginning and end of the unwritten law.” — Chris DeRose ([30:29]) -
On history being cyclical:
“All times are crazy.” — Bob Crawford ([32:07])“Every generation has had significant problems and some far greater than ours.” — Chris DeRose ([32:32])
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Listener question and legal context: [04:35] – [05:37]
- The Sickles affair and murder: [05:37] – [09:13]
- Trial and legal innovation: [11:10] – [15:54]
- Cultural shift, media’s role, mass coverage: [15:54] – [19:22]
- Expansion and abuses of the unwritten law: [19:22] – [21:49]
- Decline and changing views on women: [27:45] – [32:41]
- Reflections and conclusion: [32:07] – [32:46]
Conclusion & Takeaways
Through the lens of Dan Sickles’ infamous 1859 murder, the episode reveals how American society once normalized and institutionalized “crimes of passion” as justifiable. Changes in law, media, and especially the status of women eventually eroded the unwritten law. As Chris DeRose puts it, history shows that “every generation has had significant problems and some far greater than ours”; what may seem shocking now was once deeply woven into legal and social practice.
To submit your own American history question:
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For a riveting deep dive into the intersection of crime, gender, and the American legal psyche, check out Chris DeRose’s book “Star Spangled Scandal.”