Ask Amy & T.J.: “He Cheated, We Broke Up. Now His Life Looks Different, Should We Try Again?”

Summary

Podcast Summary: Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes Present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Episode: Ask Amy & T.J.: “He Cheated, We Broke Up. Now His Life Looks Different, Should We Try Again?”
Release Date: July 12, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of "Ask Amy & T.J.," hosts Amy Robach and Rodney Williams delve into a poignant relationship dilemma submitted by a listener identified as YDG. The central question revolves around rekindling a relationship with an ex-boyfriend who had previously cheated but now appears to have his life in order.

Listener’s Dilemma

YDG shares her story:
"My ex-boyfriend and I dated for five years before breaking up two years ago due to his infidelity with a colleague. Recently, I’ve noticed he's made significant improvements—securing a job, purchasing an apartment, and getting a pet. Additionally, he’s been actively engaging with my social media posts. I'm contemplating whether to give our relationship another chance."
(Timestamp: [03:29] - [05:29])

Hosts' Initial Reactions

Rodney Williams emphasizes the complexity of the situation:

"She's asking if she should give him a second chance now that he seems to have his life together. It's not just about the cheating anymore; it's about his current stability and her lingering feelings."
(Timestamp: [05:29])

Amy Robach adds depth by reflecting on the passage of time:

"It's been two years since they broke up, and during that period, she might be romanticizing the past and overlooking the reasons for the initial breakup."
(Timestamp: [04:39] - [05:29])

Exploring the Ex’s Transformation

The hosts discuss possible reasons behind the ex-boyfriend's apparent improvement:

• Personal Growth Catalyst: Amy suggests that the breakup might have been the catalyst for his transformation, prompting him to focus on self-improvement.
• Unseen Struggles: Rodney points out that relationships are multifaceted, and changes in one partner can significantly impact the other’s growth and stability.

Audience Feedback and Perspectives

The episode features insights from various listeners, each providing unique viewpoints:

1. Beaver criticizes the idea of returning to a cheating partner, likening it to tolerating disrespectful behavior:

   "If you tolerate it once, it will happen again. She needs to assess her judgment of character."
   (Timestamp: [15:07] - [16:39])

2. Bill, sharing his personal experience, highlights that infidelity often has underlying issues:

   "I wasn't the greatest partner, being too absorbed in my career, which contributed to my wife's cheating and eventual divorce."
   (Timestamp: [17:03] - [19:16])

3. Ron offers a moderated perspective, advocating for open communication and counseling:

   "Ask him if he’s interested in a future together and consider counseling to address past issues honestly."
   (Timestamp: [22:14] - [28:43])

4. Don emphasizes forgiveness as a pathway to resolving relationship issues:

   "Forgiveness is key. She should have a conversation with him and be willing to forgive."
   (Timestamp: [26:11] - [28:43])

Expert Advice from Amy and Rodney

Amy Robach provides comprehensive advice, encouraging actionable steps:

"Reach out to him directly—text or DM—to gain clarity and closure, whichever way it goes."
(Timestamp: [09:58] - [10:14])

She further elaborates on personal growth:

"Use this moment to work on yourself and become the best version you can be. Whether you reconnect or move on, self-improvement will benefit you."
(Timestamp: [10:14] - [14:07])

Rodney Williams underscores the importance of decisiveness:

"Don’t get stuck in limbo. Take action now to either pursue reconnection or firmly move forward."
(Timestamp: [12:11] - [14:07])

Conclusion and Follow-Up

The hosts express a desire to follow up with YDG to share her decision, highlighting the importance of taking proactive steps in resolving personal dilemmas. They emphasize that relationships are inherently complex and that personal growth plays a crucial role in the decision to rekindle or move on.

Amy Robach wraps up with a thoughtful reflection:

"It's messy, but understanding and learning from each other can lead to better relationships in the future."
(Timestamp: [29:00] - [29:36])

Rodney Williams reinforces the call to action:

"Just ask a simple question to gain clarity and closure."
(Timestamp: [28:59] - [29:53])

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Key Takeaways

• Self-Reflection: Before considering reuniting, assess personal growth and reasons for the initial breakup.
• Communication: Open and honest dialogue with the ex-partner is essential to understand mutual intentions.
• Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation: Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean getting back together; it's about finding peace.
• Audience Diversity: Perspectives vary, highlighting that there's no one-size-fits-all solution in relationships.
• Action Over Indecision: Taking proactive steps prevents prolonged uncertainty and emotional distress.

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This episode offers a nuanced exploration of rekindling relationships post-infidelity, blending personal insights with diverse audience opinions to provide comprehensive advice for listeners facing similar dilemmas.

Transcript

[Amy Robach]

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[TJ Holmes]

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[Amy Robach]

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[Rodney Williams]

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[Rodney Williams]

Hey there folks. In our latest Yahoo advice column, ydj, that's what she calls herself. She wrote into it ydg Y D.

[Amy Robach]

What G you said J.

[Rodney Williams]

Oh, see, there's a thing. Y' all didn't know who she was anyway. But we're gonna be accurate. Ydg, not ydj, but YDJ wrote into us. She wants our advice. And maybe you can help her with some advice as well. You see, her ex boyfriend, ex cheating boyfriend that she broke up with two years ago has all of a sudden started liking her. A lot of her social media posts and on top of that she looked and it appears that he now has his shit together. So she's wondering should she give him now another chance? My advice? Calm down, Roblox Advice girl, please. And with that, welcome to this relationship advice edition of Amy and TJ Robes. This was a. This one is the first one we've had that we both seem to strongly agree with what this person should do. But this is an interesting scenario.

[Amy Robach]

Yes. Because, you know, I think it's been two years since they broke up and they did date for I believe it was five full years. They were talking about marriage. The point being is, during those two years, I think a lot of times, especially if you haven't found someone better or you haven't really moved on, you start remembering the good times and you start romanticizing what your relationship was like. And then, yes, maybe if you hear or see, he's doing well, he's got a pet. He has a. They just. He's had a pet, not a dog. Fine. Yeah, we will read the whole thing. But you start noticing that he's doing well and suddenly maybe you're not feeling so great and you're thinking, maybe I need to go back to that. Maybe I need to return to this person. And just from that standpoint alone, it doesn't sound like a very good idea.

[Rodney Williams]

Okay, so her scenario, she wrote into us and again with our weekly Yahoo advice column where folks write in with all kinds of. Not just, we say relationships in terms of romantic relationships, but this could be anything. This applies to all kinds of things. Friends, family. But she wrote into us and asking Amy and tj, My ex and I dated for five years before we broke up. He cheated on me with my colleague. I was rightfully upset and we had even started to talk about a future in marriage. So I didn't want to give him a second chance. But now it's been two years and I'm considering going back to him as he seems to have made real improvements in his life. He finally has a job, he bought an apartment, he even has a pet. Now, I'm not sure how he managed to get his life in order so quickly, but I'm happy for him. I do think I miss him. And I've noticed he's been looking at my social media pages a lot. He's liked almost every single post I've made. Maybe that means something. Should I go back to him or is it a waste of time? Signed ydg, not J is how she signed. You know what? I forgot a part of this scenario. Where is it here? Made real improvements in his life. He seems to have made real improvements in life.

[Amy Robach]

And.

[Rodney Williams]

And he. I'm sure how he managed to get his life in order so quickly that I don't remember the first time around. What was it about his life with you that kept him from doing well is the thing that jumped in my mind a lot.

[Amy Robach]

We'll get to the viewer comments or the reader comments, but a lot of people pointed that out.

[Rodney Williams]

Really?

[Amy Robach]

I missed that line before that. Sometimes like that, actually. What if you reread. Actually, ydg, if you reread your question to us, your message to us, you might find your answer. Right.

[Rodney Williams]

We talk about this. Being able to separate yourself from. If you saw someone else doing this or going through this, you would easily say, well, duh, girl. But when you're going through it and it's not taking anything away from her feelings and where she is in life and what they might have had and she might still be in love with this guy, I don't know. But the signs are there in some of what she's saying.

[Amy Robach]

I didn't want to give him a second chance. Believe yourself. Trust where you were. Trust you made a good decision for yourself. And yes, to your point, maybe even ask yourself, why wasn't he doing well when he was with you?

[Rodney Williams]

And that's okay. That's painful. It's hard to see someone get out of a life or relationship with you and all of a sudden flourishes. That's just. That's human nature. And that's. That's just tough.

[Amy Robach]

And it's human nature then to be the person who actually did the dumping, to say, wait a minute, well, maybe I want that now. Maybe now I see the best version of him. Maybe I didn't see the best version of him. And truthfully, he could have worked on himself. He could have been brokenhearted. We don't know all the details about her breaking up with him. And that could have been his catalyst to get his life in order. That could have been his reasoning for saying, hey, I need to take care of me. I have been trying too hard to do whatever, and now I can just focus on improving myself. And maybe he is and would be a better partner now. And I wrote this, I said this. I would never be the person who told someone, don't go for it. Don't try for love again. If she feels strongly about it and she really has real feelings about him and she really has forgiven him and maybe done her own work on why the relationship wasn't good. I know some people don't like hearing this, but I don't think most people cheat out in a vacuum. I think that there. It's a symptom of a larger problem in the relationship. Possibly it's not always the case, but it could be a moment or an opportunity for the person, the other person in the relationship, to say, you know, I'm going to take this time to improve me and to make sure I'm a better partner, to make sure I'm a better human, just in general to myself, even forget the other person.

[Rodney Williams]

But that's not in our nature to do that. It's not look for somebody who checks all the boxes for what we want instead of becoming something that actually is desirable, she's going to have a problem here, because he might. This is going to be very difficult. If he has become now the man she wants and always wanted, but now that he's. That she might not be the woman that he wants.

[Amy Robach]

Right.

[Rodney Williams]

And that's tough. He has grown. If he has, in fact, he has grown, he's different. He has a different perspective. And there are people, everybody listening to our voices right now can think of someone in their life that they met, they married to have A long term relationship with and now you're five or 10 years removed, you go, wow, I would never be interested in a person like that.

[Amy Robach]

Oh yes you would.

[Rodney Williams]

Like, I would never be attracted to that now, duh. But it's just where you are in the moment. And to your point, our thing was don't sit and wait and wonder. Reach out if you want to and get your answer. Better to get it now than have to do this again for another six months.

[Amy Robach]

Yes, that's the first thing I would say is go ahead, text him, DM him, take the leap and just see where he is and see how you feel when you meet him. I also believe this. Having lived enough life and had enough relationships, I do believe there is a reason for some relationships. There is a season for some relationships and there is a lifetime for other relationships. But they can't all be that. They're all going to cycle in and out. And I also believe that the person who you are in a relationship with, your partner, they are your best teachers. And you learn the most about yourself when you are actually committed to trying to make a relationship work. And when it doesn't work, that is the moment where you actually, I like to look at it like this. Get the opportunity to work on yourself and be in a relationship with yourself and then you are going to be the best partner.

[Rodney Williams]

It does, but I mean, I'm not.

[Amy Robach]

Knocking, yeah, it does sound cheesy.

[Rodney Williams]

People kind of roll their eyes or in one ear out the other because it does, it sounds like, but we.

[Amy Robach]

All so quickly point the finger and all of us do this at the other person, at the other person in a relationship. They did this to me. So that's why I feel this way. This, this happened to me and that's why I feel this way. But those are such opportunities to switch the narrative and say, wait, why am I feeling this way? What can I do to feel better for myself? Not expect someone else to do it for you. And so these are just the moments in relationships where it's sometimes breaking up is the best thing. And who knows, I mean, he could be feeling the same way. They both could have been working on themselves. It's hard to know exactly where she is. It's just by reading her question to us, it just kind of sounds like she's filled with regret because she's looking at something that she wants that she once had and she's trying to justify it to herself instead of actually working on improving herself and moving on.

[Rodney Williams]

I asked the one thing before we get into the the comments from readers and the advice they were giving. I say this sometimes and women have called me on it. When I talk about confidence and when I say it sounds so simple here, just reach out to them. Just reach out to the guy and say, hey, this is what's going on. Social media, text, that's simple. Get this done, over. We're grown folks. We ain't got time to be messing around. I have so many women call me on that. Tj, you make it sound like it's so simple. That is difficult for a woman. It's difficult to make that move. It's difficult sometimes to have that confidence, to be outgoing. Where do you come down? I guess that makes sense since but my comeback is always, you're a grown ass woman. We don't have time for games. Ask a question, either gonna like the answer or you're not. But you're gonna have one right now you got nothing.

[Amy Robach]

Right. I think most suffering comes when you don't know when you're in limbo, when you're wondering what's he thinking, what's he feeling? Is this gonna work out? It's. That's where you start suffering. That's when you start spiraling. That's when you start going into worst case scenarios and that's when your confidence crumbles. And so when you start feeling yourself going into that pattern and we've all been there, what you have to ask yourself in those moments is what can I do to be the best version of myself? And the rest will fall into place. You always say this, attract, don't chase. But it shouldn't be. It's not even a manipulative thing or a game you're playing. It really is truly about investing in being your best self. And when you're your best self, you are going to be the most attractive person. You are going to have a better shot and at getting someone else who's also in that space but wondering, chasing when you find yourself doing it. And again, I have been there, I'll probably be there again. You just can say, wait a minute, stop, stop. Let's just do this with confidence and let me actually take a moment to believe in myself and to remind myself of what a great partner I am and can be.

[Rodney Williams]

Was I supposed to skip over the part where you said you're going to end up there again where you're doing some back and forth dance with somebody you're dating? Did I miss? Did I?

[Amy Robach]

No, I guess. No, no, no, no, no, no. My point is saying I'M I'm. It's not like I make a decision and I'm suddenly perfect. From here on out. I'm saying we all fall back into these patterns every now and then. It's about recognizing it when your brain starts going back to the familiar or your mind starts looping back to this negative, weak position. You have to go up. There I go again.

[Rodney Williams]

I thought you were saying you're going to end up in a position of dating somebody.

[Amy Robach]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about the mind games we play with ourselves.

[Rodney Williams]

So fun.

[Amy Robach]

But I'm glad you asked so I could make sure I clarified that.

[Rodney Williams]

You know, once again though, you. You go through the comments, mostly dudes. What?

[Amy Robach]

This time, babe, I'm gonna go with. It was 95 guys and they were clearly masculine names like Daniel, Steve, Ryan, you know, just like Mike. There was no possible. It was very specific.

[Rodney Williams]

Okay.

[Amy Robach]

Beaver is the only one I don't know.

[Rodney Williams]

Okay, but before you read them, can you tell me what was the general. Is there a general consensus?

[Amy Robach]

So the few women who did write in, most of them were like, cheaters are always going to cheat. What did you expect? That kind of a thing. But the men actually had really nuanced, interesting comments that I was kind of impressed with and surprised by.

[Rodney Williams]

Can we start with Beaver?

[Amy Robach]

Yes, Beaver. So Beaver says this to our friend ydg. Let me get this straight. He cheated on her with her friend and now she is considering taking him back? I don't think this woman had an active father in her life. Perhaps her mom tolerated it. Anyone ask yourself this. You catch the barista spitting in your coffee? Should you ever consider that barista again? Yes, people change. But if you tolerate it once, it will happen again. Seems she seems to be a poor judge of character and needs a new set of friends to hang out with. Sadly, her. Her vote is worth yours or mine. Is probably worth more than yours or mine. She's going to decide what she wants to do. But I thought that was fairly harsh. And yet I think a lot of people do think this, like, hello, stupid, don't go back. And I think that that was a pretty common theme by a lot of folks just kind of saying, duh, don't go back to him. People can't change. I actually disagree with that. I think people can change. And I don't think that once a cheater, always a cheater. I think that that person probably has ego issues to work out.

[Rodney Williams]

See, I haven't gone that far to the to considering the cheating part when they're getting back together. All I am sticking with is you said you don't want the guy. You say you want him. Now you want him because he's this, this, this, this, and this. Then okay, that is not a consideration. From cheating is not a consideration.

[Amy Robach]

She didn't even bring that up.

[Rodney Williams]

Didn't. It is okay if she forgave him or who knows what happened, but it doesn't seem to be the issue. And I don't see the issue here is her asking, should I go back to a cheater or not?

[Amy Robach]

That's true.

[Rodney Williams]

She's saying, should I go back to my ex? Yeah, we broke up. He cheated, but now he's this, this, this, this, and this. She's listing all these other things that are important to her. She's not asking about the cheating. Can I ever trust him again?

[Amy Robach]

She didn't ask that.

[Rodney Williams]

Should I give him a second chance? Could I ever. Nothing. He's got a pet.

[Amy Robach]

That's so interesting.

[Rodney Williams]

He's got a pet. So, yeah, he was a little hard. And it's hard here because we don't know enough about the boyfriend, the ex boyfriend, to know what happened. And we've taken her word for it. Who knows how things went down, but let's take her at her word. And he cheated. Broke up. Okay.

[Amy Robach]

All right. So here's what Bill had to say to our friend cdg. I never fully trust people asking for advice like this to paint a clear picture of their relationship. That's kind of what you were saying, TJ Relationships can be a lot more complicated than people present. Touche. My first wife cheated on me. I could just leave it at that and look like a victim, but I became a bit too wrapped up in my career and didn't treat her very well. I was way more into being me than being part of a couple. I left her at home with two young children, and even when I was home, I wasn't mentally there. Does that totally excuse her cheating? I don't think so. But I wasn't the greatest guy either. I appreciate that post.

[Rodney Williams]

He. He gave some. He just said, everybody. Before you dump on her, dump on him. Let me explain my story and understand why. There's always some context there. That's. Bill's an adult. Right. He admitted to a mistake that he made and how it might have contributed to the mistake everybody else is pointing at his wife for making. He is taking some of that heat off of her. I know he's anonymous here. We won't get to know who it is but it, that was, I love when people write in and are open and honest and sharing their own experience and how it could to relate late. That was a, that was a good one. And it's tough. And Lord knows we understand context and complication is not as simple as it seems.

[Amy Robach]

Well, I think in a lot of relationships, especially if you can, and I don't want to say claim to be, but if you are the wronged party, if you're the person who felt like they got cheated on and that you were, you know, blindsided either by someone being unfaithful or by someone just suddenly saying, I want a divorce or I want to, you know, break up with you, a lot of folks will take that victim status and say, I didn't see it coming. How could he do this to me? I do appreciate people acknowledge and this is hard to do that relationships involve two people and it's usually not a singular bad person and a singular good person. Everybody does things and some people do worse things than others for sure. But I just appreciate the nuance.

[Rodney Williams]

All right, well, we come back here. There's a guy named Ron, there's another guy named Don. And one of them has a very important question they think are they think our reader needs to ask. And the other has a story about divorce that you need to hear.

[Amy Robach]

Welcome back everyone to Ask Amy and TJ where we go even deeper into our relationship advice column on Yahoo. And this week's question came to us from, from a young woman. I say she's a young woman. I just kind of assumed she was ydg that's what she says. But she was dating her ex boyfriend for five years. They've been apart for two years. He cheated on her, she says, and that is why they broke up. But now he's got a job, he's got a dog, he seems to have his life together. And she is wondering if she should go back to him. So ask you something? Yes.

[Rodney Williams]

For women, a guy with a dog, does that sound suggest something about responsibility, stability in life?

[Amy Robach]

Yes. I think when women, I'll speak for myself, see some guy who we are attracted to being just loving towards an animal or a child, there's something so sexy and attractive about that. Maybe it's our biology, maybe we're trained or our biology tells us to go for or be attracted to a man who can nurture and take care of another living being that tells us we could be safe with him, we could have children with him.

[Rodney Williams]

So yes, it's a cat or a dog or an IGUANA does it matter?

[Amy Robach]

No, it doesn't. I mean, iguana maybe a little less, but because I don't know how warm and fuzzy.

[Rodney Williams]

I slid that in there.

[Amy Robach]

Yeah. A little weird, but cat, dog. Yes, I. That is a very attractive quality because it shows you're a nurturer, I think. And I do think we are conditioned from an evolution standpoint to choose people who we think would take care of us and. And take care of people who are vulnerable. Yeah, that's very hot. That's why firefighters and lots of women like that kind of a thing. Right?

[Rodney Williams]

They save lives.

[Amy Robach]

Exactly.

[Rodney Williams]

People take issue with cops.

[Amy Robach]

I stopped short. I stopped short of cops. But firefighters. Who doesn't love a man in that kind of uniform? That's right.

[Rodney Williams]

Hell, I even used to get the firefighter calendars. Those things are awesome.

[Amy Robach]

All right, so we are. We are actually. We just plucked out. We love. Love looking at all the comments in the Yahoo column, but we plucked out a few of them. We just thought they're interesting conversation starters about this woman's dilemma. And so Ron wrote in and said this. Listen up. Ask him if he is interested in a future together. If so, tell him it will require counseling. At counseling, you're going to ask tough core questions. Be ready, as he may have some for you. At counseling, you can find out if you still want a future relationship. But the key is both being honest. And then it's funny. He said arrive at counseling separately. Good luck.

[Rodney Williams]

Why?

[Amy Robach]

Maybe you have time to really think about what you want to say and what you want to understand when you arrive separate, and then when you come together, you're ready versus if you go together, you're thinking about what the other person's gonna say or do. And maybe you kind of get wrapped up in the us and we versus what do I need? What do I want to hear? What do I want to know? That's my only guess because I've never heard that before. Arrive at counseling separately.

[Rodney Williams]

I think we've talked about this. You've, in some points in your life, done some relationship counseling. Have you done it physically?

[Amy Robach]

I absolutely have.

[Rodney Williams]

And it's not just a matter of romantic relationships. I should point out as well. That's true in all of those. Did you ride with the person to the place?

[Amy Robach]

In one instance, I remember not because I was coming from work, so that was different. But yeah, it is kind of weird going with the person who you're having a. An issue with. I guess I feel like I have gone separately most of the time and Met them there, huh? Yeah, I actually think so.

[Rodney Williams]

Things like what. What is the conversation on the way to therapy with the person? Is it really.

[Amy Robach]

It's kind of like, okay, so before we get in front of the microphone and even when we were on television, one of the kind of golden cardinal rules is to not talk before you talk because then somehow it's not either as authentic or it doesn't feel as real. So you just, you save it. You've even said this to me when we were having an issue. Let's just not talk about this unless it's in front of a licensed professional. So then, okay, if you're not going to talk about what you're about to talk about because you want to make sure that the right person's listening and helping you navigate, maybe even referee, what do you talk about? Awkward small talk. Like, weather is hot today. Like, what do you do?

[Rodney Williams]

You don't go to therapy hating each other, do you?

[Amy Robach]

No. But you're uncomfortable probably. If you're getting to that point, you're.

[Rodney Williams]

A little uncomfortable, don't you? Isn't the thing with therapy is that we can function just fine. We eat dinner together, we can even watch a movie together. But we have this issue we need to work on. So it's just that issue or. I don't know, I guess I haven't.

[Amy Robach]

Done it, I feel like. So, you know, obviously my. My other relationships have ended, so it was interesting for me. Now you tell me in therapy, it actually, I feel like made things worse in a lot of ways because it opened things up to an even deeper level, which made it even more obvious that things were not going to work out. Like, I feel like it was a scary thing to go because you have to be willing to accept what the outcome is. And sometimes you find out. Turns out we have nothing in common. Turns out we don't agree on anything.

[Rodney Williams]

Sometimes love is all you have.

[Amy Robach]

Sometimes. And sometimes, well. And that doesn't last if you don't have the other things like respect and friendship.

[Rodney Williams]

We could do a whole podcast on that.

[Amy Robach]

Love is not enough. Love is a feeling. I actually really think. I don't know that. It's a. When it's an action, it's different. And it has to have other things behind it to survive, I believe.

[Rodney Williams]

Can we get the Don here? We ended up going through a whole.

[Amy Robach]

Sorry, we went to therapy with ourselves. All right, so, yes, let's move on to Don.

[Rodney Williams]

Alright.

[Amy Robach]

Oh, yeah, because I skipped to Ron. Here's Don. I like Don's first line. We are all imperfect and sometimes we genuinely make mistakes. Being too quick to break up can be disastrous for an individual. We should instead learn to be forgiving. Forgiveness is the key, not breakup. I made a mistake which was partially due to my wife's error and went with another lady. This was an error and I would have in no way continued what happened. I loved my wife and children. She was very tough with me and filed for a divorce. The judge gave her no alimony nor any share in the house. I did all I could to seek her forgiveness, but she wouldn't. Those who say she should not go back might be making a mistake. I think he still loves her and that's why he keeps looking at her posts. My suggestion is that she has a conversation with him and be willing to forgive. Life would be better with more forgiveness. We all inherit sin, are imperfect and will make mistakes. Be forgiving.

[Rodney Williams]

Calm. That's very calm and measured response. And I think the key there is, I think everybody have to agree. I know you said some women wrote in, said leave no way you go back to him.

[Amy Robach]

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

[Rodney Williams]

But he's. I think we all. Just because you have a conversation with him, I think can we not just universally agree everybody have a conversation?

[Amy Robach]

Yeah. And you know, I, I get, I got. Again, I sound so cheesy, but I got chills reading that. Because we can all, yes, we all want that for ourselves. We can all apply that to someone else in our lives instead of holding on to this hate or, or needing them to be wrong or needing them to have wronged you, to feel like you have purpose. A lot of times, you know, being a victim and maybe even wallowing in that gives you some sense of purpose and belonging and a reason to wake up to be angry. Like people actually get used to feeling that way and letting it go can go a long way. I mean, this writer, this person who wrote in I feel his pain that he is truly sorry and made a mistake. And I do think sometimes it's obviously more than just the mistake. I'm sure their marriage had much more significant complications which led to all of the above. But it felt heartfelt what he, what he wrote in.

[Rodney Williams]

It's a good one to end on. And please don't make anybody who say cheating is an absolute deal breaker understand that. Yeah, absolutely understand that. But she's got to get to a point. I don't know if she has forgiven.

[Amy Robach]

Him.

[Rodney Williams]

But you can forgive him and still move on. Just because you forgive them doesn't mean you have to be with him. And you can be with him if you're still working to forgive them. All those things can happen. And I just want her to talk to the guy.

[Amy Robach]

I do, too.

[Rodney Williams]

Just. Just ask a simple question. His response. His response might be of my girlfriend and I just got engaged. Who knows what he's gonna say?

[Amy Robach]

But she'll know and she'll have closure either way. She'll either know that there's an opportunity or this is the end, and that's okay. And maybe they can even have a kind of a wonderful parting conversation that didn't end with finger pointing and anger, but instead with acceptance and understanding. I think that would be a beautiful way, either way to end this. But I actually would love. We would love to hear ydg. I would. Wouldn't you love to know what she does?

[Rodney Williams]

Oh, yeah. We're gonna find out. We have to. We have to follow up on this one. This is one everybody's very like. This is something very actionable like one. We had some other people write in. We say, you know, just don't change this about. You just advise them about. This is an action. This is the most actionable advice we've given. Talk to the guy.

[Amy Robach]

Yeah. So Natalie is our producer. We're gonna see if we can follow up with YDG and if we can find out what. What she decided to do or what she decided not to do, we will pass it along to you all. But in the meantime, we hope that you got some. Some level of understanding and some just. It's. It's interesting to hear and it's nice to know that we're all not alone in this messy thing called relationships. That we all want perfect ones, but none of us have them. And. And maybe we can all learn from each other. So thanks for listening to us on this Saturday. We hope you have a wonderful weekend. I'm Amy Robach. On behalf of TJ Homes, thanks for listening. Every business has an ambition. PayPal Open is the platform designed to help you grow into yours with business loans so you can expand and access to hundreds of millions of PayPal customers worldwide. And your customers can pay all the ways they want with PayPal, Venmo pay later and all major cards so you can focus on scaling up when it's time to get growing. There's one platform for all business PayPal open grow today at paypalopen.com loans subject to approval in available locations.

[Rodney Williams]

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[Amy Robach]

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[Rodney Williams]

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[Amy Robach]

Way better than that. Yes, Almond Joy is made with almonds and joy.

[TJ Holmes]

I'm Rodney Williams. And I'm Travis Holloway. Welcome to the wealthbreak podcast, a real conversation about finance. Let's be honest, building wealth doesn't look the same for everyone.

[Amy Robach]

I feel like sometimes being broke is.

[Claude]

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[TJ Holmes]

To revisit that and we're not stopping at success stories.

[Amy Robach]

What happens when it doesn't go right? How do you cope with it?

[TJ Holmes]

Because wealth isn't just about money. It's about creating a life where you thrive and help others do the same. Listen to the Wealth Break podcast on the iHeartRadio app.

[Amy Robach]

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[Claude]

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