Father of Three Faked His Own Death To Runaway With Woman He Met Online

Summary

---

Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes Present

Episode: "Father of Three Faked His Own Death To Runaway With Woman He Met Online"

Date: August 28, 2025
Hosts: Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes

---

Overview

In this episode, Amy and TJ dissect the extraordinary and shocking story of Ryan Borgwart, a 45-year-old husband and father from Wisconsin who faked his own drowning death, abandoning his wife and three children for an online romance with a woman in Georgia (the country). The hosts explore the bizarre details, motivations, and consequences behind this elaborate scheme, delving into the emotional fallout for everyone involved, public reaction, and the legal outcome after Borgwart returns and faces justice.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Case Introduction and Context

[03:05 - 03:46]

• Ryan Borgwart was married for 22 years with three kids.
• Went missing after a supposed fishing trip; believed drowned in Green Lake, Wisconsin.
• Months later, found alive in Georgia, prompting national headlines.

"When you hear about what he did, some of the details are as ridiculous and comical for why he thought he was going to get away with this." — TJ [03:40]

---

2. Initial Reactions & Motivations

[03:46 - 04:31]

• Amy questions the mindset: Why resort to faking death rather than divorce?
• TJ ponders the role of mental health or despair leading to such drastic measures.

"You somehow think it’s better that your kids think you’re dead, that your community thinks you’re dead, rather than you fell in love with another woman?" — Amy [03:58]

“Short of mental illness, short of something not right up there, could you feel so…in such despair that you thought this was a better option?” — TJ [04:31]

---

3. The Plan Unfolds: Details of the Disappearance

[05:24 - 07:33]

• TJ lays out the timeline: Borgwart left for fishing, texted wife at 11 p.m. claiming he was heading home, then vanished.
• Car, kayak (overturned), tackle box, and fishing rod all found, leading to an intensive search.
• Amy empathizes with the family’s “not knowing”—a particularly cruel aspect.

“When you don’t know what happened... when you don’t know how they died, when you don’t know where their body is, that adds a whole other layer of grief. So that this was really cruel if you think about it.” — Amy [06:56]

---

4. The Digital Breadcrumbs & Discovery

[07:46 - 09:09]

• Police suspicions arise:
  • Name run by Canadian authorities day after disappearance.
  • Evidence of new passport, cleared browser history, and plans to head to Europe.
  • He’d taken out a large life insurance policy ($375,000) for his family and transferred money abroad.
• Reversed vasectomy before leaving, suggesting intent to start a new family.

“He reversed a vasectomy before he left. So apparently this new lucky gal wanted to have kids.” — Amy [09:23]

---

5. His New Life & The Woman in Georgia

[09:41 - 10:19]

• The woman was from Georgia (the country); met online.
• TJ and Amy speculate on the practicality and reality of the relationship.

“He was willing not just to fake his own death and to leave his children behind, but to then fly to a foreign land... and live happily ever after.” — Amy [09:49]

---

6. Investigation Breakthrough & Limited Legal Repercussions

[10:19 - 11:57]

• Authorities, tipped off by the woman, contact Borgwart abroad; discovery made official.
• No extradition treaty for his charge (misdemeanor); he chooses to return voluntarily.
• Wife files for divorce immediately after his return.
• Amy and TJ discuss the impossible situation facing his children.

“How can that be repaired? How can a therapist be involved? What can you ever do to make up for that? That’s tough for those kids.” — TJ [11:42]

---

7. The Emotional Toll & Human Reactions

[11:57 - 13:30]

• Speculation on what kind of repair, if any, is possible between Borgwart and his children.
• Amy says healing may only begin if his actions are understood as a mental health crisis, not pure malice.

“The only way I think you could forgive your father is to know that they were struggling so much with their own mental health that they didn’t regard yours and in that moment made a terrible decision.” — Amy [11:57]

• TJ and Amy debate public urge to demonize vs. curiosity about what drove Borgwart to such lengths.

---

8. How He Pulled It Off — The Escape Plan

[14:06 - 14:57]

• Borgwart’s own account: Overturned his kayak, threw his phone in the lake, paddled to shore in an inflatable boat, biked 70 miles to Madison, took a bus to Detroit, another bus to Canada, and then flew to Europe.
• Still used his real passport, leaving a clear digital trail.

“But he was using his own passport. How did he not think he was going to get caught?” — Amy [15:04]

---

9. Sentencing, Restitution, and Judicial "Poetry"

[21:59 - 24:23]

• Borgwart returns, pleads guilty to misdemeanor. Judge gives 89 days in jail—matching the 89 days his family believed him dead (double the time asked by prosecutors).
• Ordered to pay $30,000 restitution for cost of the search.

“He chose the exact amount of days that he was missing. So those were the days that his family suffered, that authorities were searching that lake...that does feel like justice.” — Amy [23:22]

• Both hosts approve of the judge’s symbolic sentencing method as a meaningful gesture.

---

10. Restitution for Rescue Efforts

[24:23 - 25:14]

• Authorities, especially rescue divers and emergency personnel, put themselves at risk during the search based on Borgwart’s deception.
• Amy and TJ highlight how these real-world consequences make the crime more egregious.

“You’re putting yourself in danger... That part is necessary. It should always happen in these cases.” — TJ [25:13]

---

11. Borgwart’s Apology & Questions of Forgiveness

[25:25 - 27:06]

• Borgwart offered an apology in court:

“I deeply regret the actions I did that night and all the pain I caused my family and friends.” — Read by Amy [25:25]

• Amy and TJ muse on whether anyone—besides his ex-wife—could or should allow him a second chance.
• TJ expresses curiosity about the depths of Borgwart’s desperation: “What was going on in this man’s life that got him to that point of desperation?” [26:39]

---

12. Pop Culture Comparisons & Reflections

[27:06 - 28:31]

• Amy compares Borgwart’s escape plan to Julia Roberts’ “Sleeping with the Enemy”: using hidden stashes, cleaning footprints, staging a dramatic escape—usually the actions of someone in true peril, not romantic pursuit.
• Playful banter between hosts, lightening the episode’s end.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the absurdity of the scheme:
  “Some of the details are as ridiculous and comical for why he thought he was going to get away with this.” — TJ [03:40]

• On the cruelty to loved ones:
  “When you don’t know what happened...that adds a whole other layer of grief. So that this was really cruel if you think about it.” — Amy [06:56]

• On the poetic justice of the sentence:
  “So those 89 days where everyone was in the dark, those are the same 89 days he will spend behind bars.” — Amy [23:22]

• On the children’s perspective:
  “The thought of my dad doing that and then getting a vasectomy reversed, almost as if he was going to replace me with other children…makes the story so much worse from the child’s perspective.” — Amy [13:11]

• On the search and its costs:
  “Imagine if you’re a trained rescue diver…and you spend your time, and your effort…and you’re thinking and you’re to know that it was all a hoax. That’s got to be really tough.” — Amy [24:32]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Case Introduction & Early Reactions: [03:05 – 05:24]
• Scheme & Investigation: [05:24 – 11:57]
• Escape Plan Details: [14:06 – 14:57]
• Sentencing & Restitution Discussion: [21:59 – 25:14]
• Borgwart’s Apology & Second Chances Debate: [25:25 – 27:06]
• Pop Culture Reflection & Wrap-Up: [27:06 – 28:31]

---

Episode Takeaways

• The extraordinary story of Ryan Borgwart is as much about the devastation caused by a selfish act as it is about the limits of the law to deal with such behavior.
• The emotional impact on the family, especially the children, remains a primary concern.
• Judges can sometimes deliver poetic symbolism in sentencing as a nod to victims.
• The hosts strike a balance between outrage, empathy, and curiosity—reminding listeners that even the most bewildering crimes involve complex human motivations.

---

This summary covers the full story and analysis as delivered by Amy and TJ, with focus on the facts, the emotional consequences, and the broader lessons raised by this headline-grabbing case.

Transcript

[Amy]

This is an I Heart podcast.

[Sheryl McCollum]

I'm Sheryl McCollum, host of the podcast Zone 7. Zone 7 ain't a place, it's a way of life. Now this ain't just any old podcast, honey. We're going to be talking to family members of victims, detectives, prosecutors, and some nationally recognized experts that I have called on over the years to help me work these difficult cases. I've worked hundreds of cold cases you've heard of and thousands you haven't. We started this podcast to teach the importance of teamwork in solving these crazy crimes. Come join us in learning from detectives, prosecutors, authors, canine handlers, forensic experts, and most importantly, victims family members. Come be a part of my Zone 7 while building yours. Listen to Zone 7 with Cheryl McCollum on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcast.

[Amy]

I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for.

[Nicole Angemi]

The rest of my life what that.

[Liz]

Meant for my heart. Podcasts and Rococo Punch. This is the Turning River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to the Turning river road on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Hunting for Answers Host]

Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast Hunting for Answers, I highlighted the story of 19 year old Lashay Dungey. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message would be the last time anyone would ever hear from her. Listen to Hunting for Answers from the Black Effect Podcast Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Levittown Narrator]

In 2020, a group of young women found themselves in an AI fueled nightmare.

[Hunting for Answers Host]

Someone was posting photos.

[Amy]

It was just me naked. Well, not me, but me with someone else's body parts.

[Levittown Narrator]

This is Levittown, a new podcast from iHeart podcasts Bloomberg and Kaleidoscope about the rise of deep fake pornography and the battle to stop it. Listen to Levittown on Bloomberg's Big Take podcast. Find it on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Nicole Angemi]

Hi everyone, it's Nicole Ann Gemmy, PA and curator of ISSsangemi on Instagram, where I have been teaching about pathology and death for over 10 years. And I'm her daughter Maria Q. Kain, and we host the podcast Mother Knows Death. Each week we dive into the darker side of life, exploring topics such as what can go Wrong with the human body, true crime, medical mysteries, freak accidents, and more. We new episodes of our show drop twice a week. Make sure to tune in to Mother Knows Death on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[TJ]

Hey there, folks. It is August 28th, and a man who had been married 22 years, had three kids at home, went fishing, went missing, presumed dead. Well, he turned up a couple months later, and now he has been sentenced to jail time for faking his own death. And with that, welcome to this Amy and TJ presents Robes. This is a very devastating, heartbreaking story. When you hear about what he did, some of the details are as ridiculous and comical for why he thought he was going to get away with this.

[Amy]

Yeah, I mean, to go to such lengths when you're a. A father of three and a husband. Okay, I get it. People get divorced every day. It's tough, it's hard, it's messy, it's expensive. But, my God, why would the only other way out of a relationship, which would be death, I guess. Why would that be the better option? You somehow think it's better that your kids think you're dead, that your community thinks you're dead. Right. Rather than you fell in love with another woman? That's pretty serious. I. I can't imagine that headspace to feel that trapped, that your only way out is faking your death.

[TJ]

I thought about that, too, and I know no one would want to be sympathetic to this guy, but how short of mental illness, short of something not right up there, could you feel so in such despair that you thought this was a better option? And the story we're talking about, a lot of you all may remember from last year, a kayaker. His name is ryan Borgwart. He's 45 years old, from Wisconsin, and he went missing, but they found him a few months later. And to your point, Robes, he had run off. You said that was a kind way to put it. He had fallen in love with another woman.

[Amy]

I mean, love. Love makes you do crazy things. And whatever it was, the feeling he felt, it was intoxicating enough that this was all worth it somehow, some way. In that moment, certainly now he regrets it. He said as much. But in the moment, he felt so much passion that this seemed like the right thing to do.

[TJ]

Okay, so now it was planned.

[Amy]

This wasn't some, like, impulsive thing.

[TJ]

Oh, this is an elaborate scheme. Oh, yeah, he had months and months and months.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah, he had time to think about what he was doing, how he was going to do it. He even tried to make sure his family got money.

[TJ]

Yes.

[Amy]

So he was like, his guilt was even like working in overtime.

[TJ]

He was sure about this love is what we're saying.

[Amy]

Apparently.

[TJ]

Time to think about this love. But Ryan, last year, well, we should tell you, this week he's been sentenced to 89 days in prison for the whole scheme. 89 days in prison. We'll explain why 89 is in there. That's a very specific day. But last year, August 11, he goes out, leaves home on a fishing trip, goes out in a kayak on green Lake, about 100 miles outside of Milwaukee. Texted his wife. He had been out there all day, text his wife around 11 o' clock that night, said he was heading in and then going to be heading home. Well, he never made it home. No one ever heard from him again. Police were called and then he's reported missing. The search they start for him is at 5:30 the next morning. Now, Green Lake is one of the deeper lakes up in that area. Some. Was it 200, 200ft deep? I believe they said it. So it's a deeper lake. So they know they had their work up against them. So police come out, they find his vehicle near the lake, they find his kayak. It's overturned. And also a part of that is that the life jacket is with him. They find his tackle box, they find his fishing rod. They search this lake over and over and over in robes. This goes on for another couple of months that this family thinks he's dead and they are searching for his body.

[Amy]

And imagine the torture of that. You know, he, he texts him, his wife, I'm turning around, I'm going to pull the kayak in. I'm coming home. I don't know. Did she wait up all night for him? Was she nervous? Was she scared? Did his kids know? Was there this terrible anxiety and anticipation of what could have possibly happened to him? And then the not knowing anyone who has lost someone, there's tragedy and, and devastation just from that, grief from that. But when you don't know what happened to somebody, when you don't know how they died, when you don't know where their body is, that adds a whole other layer of grief. So that this was really cruel if you think about it.

[TJ]

So he's missing, the family's going through it. And again, they're searching for months and months. But Robes, then what was that in August? Then about a couple months later, October, things start to turn around a little bit. Things start to look a little fishy.

[Levittown Narrator]

Right.

[Amy]

So perhaps the most fishy of them all, police find out that his name was actually run by Canadian authorities the day after he disappeared. The day after they found his overturned kayak and his life jacket and his vehicle near the lake. So how could that be? Then they find that he actually got a new passport. Then when they searched his laptop, they saw that he was heading to Europe.

[TJ]

Yeah, they pieced it together. Like you said, this was months and months in the making, but they were able to put together these digital breadcrumbs to see where he was trying to go.

[Amy]

Yes. So the other thing, the Internet browser on his laptop happened just to be completely cleared of all cookies, sites, etc. The day before he disappeared.

[TJ]

Fine, that looks bad.

[Amy]

And then turns out he ended up taking out a life insurance policy on himself for the family in January for $375,000.

[TJ]

That's key as well. You're thinking he was going to try to collect the money? No, he took it out and his family was supposed to be the beneficiary of it.

[Amy]

A little something, a little parting gift. Okay. Then he moved money to a foreign bank. All of these things point to one thing and one thing only.

[TJ]

Well, maybe we just have to look into it. Now, an odd thing here. He. We said he's been married for 22 years and he has three kids and apparently ropes he didn't want anymore.

[Amy]

Well, apparently he actually did want more because among the.

[TJ]

Not with his wife.

[Amy]

Among the many, many interesting things that police were able to dig up, turns out he reversed a vasectomy before he left. So apparently this new lucky gal wanted to have kids. Or at least he wanted to have kids with her.

[TJ]

Okay, have we even stated the lucky gal?

[Amy]

No.

[TJ]

Who she is and where she's from?

[Amy]

No.

[TJ]

Yeah, she. She didn't live in a neighboring town, neighboring state even. Not even a neighboring country to us. No argue.

[Amy]

And he met her online and she hails from the country of Georgia in. That's Eastern Europe. Correct. So he was willing not just to fake his own death and to leave his children behind, but to then fly to a foreign land. And I don't know how he was going to live there or stay there. Maybe they have a 90 day fiance thing going on there too. But yes, his plan was to stay with this Georgian woman and live happily ever after.

[TJ]

Like they say, the heart wants what the heart wants, doesn't it, Robes? But this lady that we mention here now, as this story continues, police actually announced, I believe it was in October, a couple months after he Went missing. That. No, we do not believe he is missing. We believe he staged this whole thing. Now, the woman we speak of in some way. Police didn't give all the details, but got in touch with authorities and then helped them get in touch with him and they found out, yes, he was alive and well, was in contact with authorities by phone. But robes. Well, why didn't he come back? Well, there's no extradition for faking your own debt. This is actually considered a misdemeanor.

[Amy]

It is a misdemeanor. So he, he absolutely could have stayed in Georgia and then that misdemeanor charge would not have qualified for him for extradition. So he would not have faced any problems, any issues. But he chose to come back. His lawyer says to take responsibility for his actions once he was found out. Probably had some explaining to do to his kids. His wife did file for divorce, not surprisingly.

[TJ]

The date was funny. It was like the exact day after he, they had brought him back or the day after he got back. She filed the very next.

[Amy]

It felt good. She was, she was ready. She was ready. She just wanted it to hit. She wanted it to hit. The timing is everything, right? Isn't that what they say? So she wanted it to be very special, that timing.

[TJ]

What do you do? What can you ever do with those kids?

[Amy]

I don't know.

[TJ]

How can he sit? How can that be repaired? How can a therapist be involved? What can you ever do to make up for that? That's, that's, that's tough for those kids. I think about. But I think about them and wanting them to have a relationship with their dad.

[Amy]

I think the only thing you could do would be to have a mental health. Someone who knows how to handle something like this and really try to explain that their father went through a mental crisis. And that would be. The only way I think you could forgive your father is to know that they were struggling so much with their own mental health that they, they didn't regard yours and in that moment made a terrible decision that did not consider the well being of their children. And just. I think you'd have to just go ahead and accept that that's possible.

[TJ]

See, but what you just said is that that was incredibly well said and considerate. And from a person who has been through some stuff, who've seen some stuff and seen people behave badly, who might still be good people, this is one where I think it's in our nature and certainly in social media's nature to immediately just attack this guy. I understand nobody's defending but when you think about kids whose dad is still alive, who has an opportunity to have a relationship with them, I don't even know where you start with the statement that my dad didn't want me so much that he was willing to fake his death. And you know the thing that made him convinced that he didn't want to be my dad. A woman in Georgia they had never met.

[Amy]

And I. I know this sounds wild, but the thought of my dad doing that and then getting a vasectomy reversed, almost as if he was going to replace me with other children for whatever reason, that makes the story so much worse from the child's perspective, that it was almost like, I'll just start over and just have another family.

[TJ]

Who knows what's going on with this guy. But those kids. I just think about those kids and who knows what relationship they had, because I think about, what if it was wonderful? What if he was a great dad? I don't know at all. It's just that part of it. So he's in touch with authorities a couple months after he disappeared. So they literally have him on the phone and are in touch with him. At one point, they even have him send a video of himself to prove that it's him. And sure enough, that's him. We know he's alive. Didn't they put that out publicly?

[Amy]

Yes. He says, I am in my apartment. I am safe, secure, no problem. Those were his exact words.

[TJ]

But there was nothing they could do, so they were just in touch. The story was what it was. But he robes. I can't believe this. Gave us a little more detail. I guess we kind of could figure it out once we knew he was alive. But he gave kind of a blow by blow and gave the details about. Hey, this is how I pulled it off.

[Amy]

Yeah. He said he overturned the kayak and he threw his phone into the lake. He then said he paddle. Paddled an inflatable boat to. To shore. He then rode an electric bike.

[TJ]

This is, I guess, around midnight, overnight.

[Amy]

70 miles to Madison.

[TJ]

That's commitment.

[Amy]

Then he took a bus to Detroit.

[TJ]

That also is commitment.

[Amy]

I was waiting for that. Then took another bus to Canada. And that's where he was. Yes. His name was run through the Canadian authorities there. And from there he flew out of the country and to Europe.

[TJ]

That was a commitment. That was a plan. He had to have something waiting here to go to this and the ticket set up there and to do that and the flight and.

[Amy]

But he was using his own passport. How did he not think he was going to get caught. And there was such a paper trail. That's amazing to me that he thought somehow that that would work in terms of faking his death. And he knew he had to leave the country. He knew he had to go through authorities who were going to scan his passport. His name was going to be in the system. It's just wild to me that he thought he could get away with that.

[TJ]

Like you said, Rose loves make you love it makes you do crazy things, does it not? Well, folks, we heard from him. He was sentenced this week. We'll explain exactly why. The judge went with 89 days, which is double what the prosecution even asked for. Also, we heard from the kayaker himself. We'll let you hear the his words to his family.

[Amy]

Liz went from being interested in true crime to living true crime.

[Liz]

My husband comes back outside and he's shaking and he just looks like he's seen a ghost and he's just in shock. And he said, your dad's been killed.

[Amy]

This is Hands Tied, a true crime podcast exploring the murder of Jim Melgar. Liz's mom had just been found shut in a closet, her hands and feet tied up, shouting for help.

[Liz]

I was just completely in shock.

[Amy]

Her dad had been stabbed to death. It didn't feel real at all. For more than a decade, Liz has been trying to figure out what happened. There's a lot of guilt, I think.

[Liz]

Pushing me, and I just, I want answers.

[Amy]

Listen to Hands tied on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Sheryl McCollum]

I'm Sheryl McCollum, host of the podcast Zone 7. Zone 7 ain't a place. It's a way of life. I've worked hundreds of cold cases you've heard of and thousands you haven't. We started this podcast to teach the importance of teamwork in solving these crazy crimes. Come join us in learning from detectives, prosecutors, authors, canine handlers, forensic experts, and most importantly, victims, family members. Listen to Zone 7 with Cheryl McCollum on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcast.

[Amy]

A foot washed up, a shoe with.

[TJ]

Some bones in it.

[Amy]

They had no idea who it was. Most everything was burned up pretty good.

[Levittown Narrator]

From the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable.

[Liz]

These are the coldest of cold cases. But everything is about to change.

[Amy]

Every case that is a cold case that has DNA right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime.

[Liz]

A small lab in Texas is cracking the code on DNA using new scientific tools. They're finding clues in evidence so tiny you might just miss it.

[Amy]

He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen, I was just like, ah, gotcha.

[Liz]

On America's Crime Lab, we'll learn about victims and survivors and you'll meet the team behind the scenes at othram, the Houston lab that takes on the most hopeless cases to finally solve the unsolvable. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[TJ]

My name is Ed. Everyone say hello Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer and my mum is a cousin. So like, it's not like.

[Amy]

What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago.

[TJ]

I just normally do straight stand up, but this is a bit different.

[Amy]

On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear.

[TJ]

On 22 July 2015, a 23 year old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house.

[Amy]

So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand up comedy and murder take center stage.

[Sheryl McCollum]

Available now.

[Amy]

Listen to Wisecrack on the iHeartRadio app.

[Liz]

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Levittown Narrator]

Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro and these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you. Stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets, Season 12 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Amy]

Welcome back everyone to this edition of Amy and TJ where we are talking about 45 year old Ryan Borgwart of Wisconsin who faked his own death, his own drowning death in a kayak. His wife, his three children. Authorities all feared and presumed that he was dead. Until turns out he wasn't. He was just in Europe with A gal he met online. And then when police finally did trace him to Georgia, the country of Georgia, some two months after he disappeared, he voluntarily chose to come back to the United States and face punishment. Punishment he would not have faced had he stayed in Georgia. I'm guessing things didn't go so well with this mystery woman who he met online.

[TJ]

I'm sure she'll wait for him until he gets out because it won't be long. It's. Isn't it?

[Amy]

Well, he's single now, so it. He doesn't have. Yeah, that's. That's.

[TJ]

Yeah, he's available.

[Amy]

He's available now.

[TJ]

Okay. But he won't be in jail long. And look, the pro. And the reason. To your point there, he could have stayed, but he came back to face punishment. But he's not facing years and years or anything like that in prison because this is a misdemeanor. To your point, I don't think he came back to face justice, did he? He came back because he didn't have anywhere or anybody.

[Amy]

I'm thinking the relationship didn't go so well and probably wanted to see if he could somehow salvage a relationship with his children.

[TJ]

Do you think she knew the. The Russian. The Russian speaking thing? She was from Uzbekistan, but.

[Amy]

Uzbekistan? Yeah.

[TJ]

She had any idea?

[Amy]

I don't know. They didn't say. But I would think that she wouldn't have known.

[TJ]

Been on board with him faking his death?

[Amy]

No. What woman would say, oh, that sounds like a good idea. Leave your wife and your children and fake your death and come be with me? No. Nobody wants to live a life on the run or. Or be interested in somebody who is going to not be able to travel or actually use their name that's always looking over their shoulder. Who's done something criminal. Do you want to be associated with someone who's done something criminal? Especially if you're living in a country like that. Perhaps you're thinking, ooh, a wealthy American, or just at least having a life where you have a sense of comfort and peace. Not one of the authorities could catch us at any moment. So, yes, I'm thinking she didn't know.

[TJ]

She didn't know. All right, so he's come back, he's faced justice. This week he has been sentenced by the judge to 89 days in jail. The prosecution was only asking for about half of that time.

[Amy]

45. Right.

[TJ]

In jail for that. But the judge in. I don't know if you should be cute and clever, but this was, I don't know, something poetic. About it, at least I liked it.

[Amy]

A, I liked that that the judge doubled it just because he could, but also because he chose the exact amount of days that he was missing. So those were the days that his family suffered, that authorities were searching that lake where resources were being used to try and find him. And so those 89 days where everyone was in the dark, those are the same 89 days he will spend behind bars. I think that is poetic and that is. That does feel like justice.

[TJ]

You know, I do, like sometimes when judges do things like this. Right. And sometimes it's. I don't know, it's not even a matter of the punishment. Right. 45 days or 90 days is not that it's not a severe jail time, but just to make a point, I kind of like when judges do this.

[Amy]

I do, too. He also has to pay back $30,000 in restitution. That's the money that the local authorities spent looking for him, searching for him, trying to find him. And that also seems very fair.

[TJ]

How can you pay back? I get that. But there are folks out there who, yes, they're doing their job, that we're genuinely concerned and trying to bring, like their hearts are in it for this guy.

[Amy]

How. Like if you are, you know, anyone who is in emergency services of any kind, I just think are so incredible, and we rely on them. Obviously, they're constantly in life or death situations. But imagine if you're a trained rescue diver and you're going in. In cold, frigid waters or at least, you know, uncomfortable conditions to try and get answers for a family. And you're trained to do so, and you spend your time and you spend your effort and you're looking and you're thinking and you're to know that it was all a hoax. That that's got to be really tough.

[TJ]

You know, and you say it that way when you do account for. I mean, you're going underwater. Who knows what can happen with equipment. You're scuba dive.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[TJ]

Look, you're putting yourself in danger.

[Amy]

Exactly.

[TJ]

At risk as well. So I, that. That part is necessary. It should always happen in these cases. So, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm okay with this sentence with it. I don't know who this judge is, but okay with it.

[Amy]

Yes. And Ryan did get his day in court where he did get to speak, and he had an apology for the court. He had an apology for the people who once loved him. Not sure how many are still in that camp or not, but this is what he had to Say, he said, I deeply regret the actions I did that night and all the pain I caused my family and friends. I wonder just even at this point what his circle is like now. Who is still in his camp and can he? Should he. Does he deserve a second chance by friends and family members? Certainly not his wife. I get that. But I wonder where people feel or how people feel about second chances. I know you're not a big second chances guy.

[TJ]

No, no, no. I am personally, my. Oh, there you go. Personally on a whole other level. But I look at something and look at somebody like this and I. My first thought obviously is to the kids and that harm and that story. But you think about it. When you think about him, you're like, what in God's name. Yes, we want to go with some stupid dude chasing some hot piece of tail cross the line. We want to think that.

[Amy]

We want to demonize him.

[TJ]

And he should be. I'm not knocking anybody for doing so. I am so curious. And we talk about this all the time. You can stop an emotional response if you asked first. Be curious. And I am curious. What was going on in this man's life that got him to that point of desperation?

[Amy]

Right.

[TJ]

What happened? Because Robes, it wasn't an instant thing. He had months to plan and put. He had months to go. This is stupid, you know?

[Amy]

You know, it's this. You're speaking of stupid. You might laugh at me, but one of my favorite movies, I love Sleeping with the Enemy, Julia Roberts is it when I'm reading what he did about how he had this inflatable boat. He got onshore, he washed away the footprints so that no one could see that he came back on shore and retrieved a stash electric bike that he had placed so that he could then travel to Canada. Ultimately, that all sounds like what Julia Roberts did to get away from a physically and mentally abusive husband. Like that is the thing people do when they're desperate, when they're in fear for their lives, when there's no other way to escape because they're afraid whoever they're with is going to come find them, hunt them down and kill them. That these are the actions of someone who is desperate. And so that's what's mind blowing to me. And so we don't know what was going on in his head. And maybe there is some sort of story where we could understand his desperation. We don't know. But it just suddenly reminded me of that movie. It's a good one.

[TJ]

She did a better job. It took him longer to track her down than.

[Amy]

It took the founder, though, didn't he?

[TJ]

He did. And he.

[Amy]

Oh, when the towels were placed perfectly in the. And the. And the cans were all perfectly. Oh, because he had ocd and like, by the way, from one OCD to the next. Yeah, I get that.

[TJ]

You just compared me to a psycho.

[Amy]

You're so sweet.

[TJ]

Oh, even killer guy.

[Amy]

I would be desperate just to come find you, not to get away from me.

[TJ]

Oh, my God. Okay, this is enough of this. I'm gonna go kayaking, y'.

[Amy]

All.

[TJ]

We'll talk to y' all soon. Always appreciate y' all listening here on Amy and TJ Presents.

[Sheryl McCollum]

I'm Sheryl McCollum, host of the podcast Zone 7. Zone 7 ain't a place. It's a way of life. Now, this ain't just any old podcast, honey. We're going to be talking to family members of victims, detectives, prosecutors, and some nationally recognized experts that I have called on over the years to help me work these difficult cases. I've worked hundreds of cold cases you've heard of and thousands you haven't. We started this podcast to teach the importance of teamwork in solving these crazy crimes. Come join us in learning from detectives, prosecutors, authors, canine handlers, forensic experts, and most importantly, victims, family members. Come be a part of my Zone 7 while building yours. Listen to Zone 7 with Cheryl McCollum on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcast.

[Amy]

I knew I wanted to obey and submit, but I didn't fully grasp for.

[Nicole Angemi]

The rest of my life what that.

[Liz]

Meant for my heart. Podcasts and Rococo Punch. This is the Turning River Road. In the woods of Minnesota, a cult leader married himself to 10 girls and forced them into a secret life of abuse. But in 2014, the youngest escaped. Listen to the Turning river road on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Hunting for Answers Host]

Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast Hunting for Answers, I highlighted the story of 19 year old Lachey Dungey. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message would be the last time anyone would ever hear from her. Listen to Hunting for Answers from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Levittown Narrator]

In 2020, a group of young women found themselves in an AI fueled nightmare.

[Hunting for Answers Host]

Someone was posting photos.

[Amy]

It was just me naked. Well, not me, but me with someone else's body parts.

[Levittown Narrator]

This is Levittown, a new podcast from iHeart Podcasts, Bloomberg and Kaleidoscope about the rise of deepfake pornography and the battle to stop it. Listen to Levittown on Bloomberg's Big Take podcast. Find it on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Nicole Angemi]

Hi everyone, It's Nicole Angemi, P.A. and curator of ISSsanjemi on Instagram, where I have been teaching about pathology and death for over 10 years, and I'm her daughter, Maria Q. Kain, and we host the podcast Mother Knows Death. Each week we dive into the darker side of life, exploring topics such as what can go wrong with the human body, true crime, medical mysteries, freak accidents, and more. New episodes of our show drop twice a week. Make sure to tune in to Mother Knows Death on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Amy]

This is an iHeart podcast.