Podcast Summary: And That's Why We Drink – Episode E411: A Chef Boyardee Vape Situation and a Sheepless Shephard

Hosts: Christine Schiefer (A) and Em Schulz (B)
Release Date: December 22, 2024

1. Opening Banter and Personal Updates

The episode begins with playful banter between Christine and Em, highlighting their camaraderie and humorous interactions. They discuss the importance of recording their conversations to capture their witty remarks.

• Em (00:18): “I’m running low. I’m running on empty. I’m running on fumes, as they say... we were gonna waste all this precious material.”

• Christine (02:16): Shares her ongoing battle with sickness, humorously wishing they had recorded her when she sounded "like Shrek."

2. Smoothie Conversations and Beverage Fixes

Christine and Em dive into a detailed discussion about their favorite smoothie spots, particularly focusing on Christine's love for Tropical Smoothie Cafe.

• Christine (04:06): “I finally got her. Except she’s my blue whale. Because this is the Blueberry Bliss.”

• They exchange tips on customizing smoothies, with Christine recommending substituting banana with mango for a desired consistency.

3. Paranormal Experiences and Ghostly Encounters

Christine opens up about her recent paranormal experiences, including hearing noises in her house and her interactions with a psychic medium.

• Christine (07:05): “I just keep hearing more stuff and seeing more stuff... things just seem more like voices.”

• Em suggests enhancing security with cameras to monitor unexplained activities, leading to a lighthearted exchange about monitoring paranormal events.

4. The Legend of Hans Trapp: A Christmas Cryptid

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to elaborating on the folklore of Hans Trapp, a German knight turned Christmas cryptid. Christine narrates the historical backstory and the evolution of Hans Trapp into a mythical figure associated with Christmas.

• Christine (28:06): Recites a poem describing Hans Trapp, emphasizing his menacing presence: “He comes from the starry sky. He brings a rod. To the children who neither sing nor pray.”

• Em (43:24): Expresses fascination with the transformation of Hans Trapp from a historical figure to a modern-day legend.

The hosts discuss various iterations of Hans Trapp’s story, comparing him to other Christmas figures like Krampus and Santa Claus, and explore his role in local parades and cultural festivities.

5. Cold Case Investigation: The Murder of Michelle Martinko

Christine and Em transition into discussing a cold case from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, focusing on the tragic murder of Michelle Martinko in 1979.

• Christine (75:05): “Michelle Martinko was born in 1961 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa... On December 19, 1979, Michelle went to the Westdale Mall with about $180 in cash...”

• Em (85:25): Details Michelle’s life, her murder at the mall, and the subsequent investigation, highlighting the challenges faced due to the era’s limited forensic technology.

The narrative covers:

• Michelle’s charismatic personality and the circumstances leading to her disappearance.

• Initial suspects, including her ex-boyfriend Andy Seidel and a friend Kurt Thomas.

• The family's enduring struggle with accusations and rumors within the community.

• The eventual breakthrough in 2018 using advanced DNA profiling techniques, leading to the conviction of Jerry Burns after decades of uncertainty.

• Em (104:53): Reflects on the emotional toll of the case: “Imagine the daughter say...”

The hosts emphasize the impact of unresolved cases on families and communities, praising technological advancements that aid in solving long-standing mysteries.

6. Interactive and Reflective Discussions

Throughout the episode, Christine and Em intersperse their storytelling with personal reflections and humorous asides, maintaining an engaging and conversational tone.

• Em (73:09): Playfully criticizes their own storytelling: “She thought she was telling her story...”

• Christine (84:13): Shares her disappointment with Cedar Rapids, blending personal anecdotes with the cold case narrative.

Their interactions provide a balance between serious discussions on true crime and lighthearted commentary on everyday topics.

7. Closing Remarks and Teasers

As the episode concludes, Christine and Em touch upon upcoming episodes and express gratitude to their listeners, maintaining their signature blend of humor and heartfelt conversation.

• Christine (115:33): Encourages listeners to visit their Patreon and social media platforms for more content.

• Em (115:55): Signs off with a cheerful farewell: “And that's why we drink.”

Notable Quotes:

• Em (02:16): “I’m still sick. I wish we recorded a few days ago when I sounded like Shrek because then everyone would appreciate just how healthy I sound.”

• Christine (04:06): “I finally got her. Except she’s my blue whale. Because this is the Blueberry Bliss.”

• Christine (07:05): “I just keep hearing more stuff and seeing more stuff... things just seem more like voices.”

• Em (43:24): “He became like, don’t bring me into it. I just want to pull the strings behind the scenes.”

• Christine (75:05): “Michelle Martinko was an 18-year-old charmer who never knew her life would end in such brutality.”

• Christine (84:13): “I just poo pooed on it. But I realize I have to talk it up a little because I realize I’ve poo pooed on it.”

• Em (104:53): “Imagine the daughter say. They have no idea and have no belief that he’s capable of this.”

Conclusion:

Episode E411 of "And That's Why We Drink" masterfully intertwines personal anecdotes, paranormal tales, and a gripping cold case investigation. Christine and Em's dynamic chemistry keeps listeners engaged as they navigate through humorous exchanges and intense storytelling. The episode not only entertains but also sheds light on the emotional complexities surrounding unsolved crimes and the enduring quest for truth and closure.